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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 10, 2025 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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dan ashley for spencer christian, chris alvarez, all of us. we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel, john mulaney and jack quaid. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- john mulaney, jack quaid, and music from poppy, with cleto and the cletones! and now, jimmy kimmel!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. hi, everybody. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for watching. wow. [ cheering ] thank you for bringing energy to this room on the monday after the nightmare known as daylight saving. i tried something a little different this year. i set my clocks ahead -- four years. didn't work. let me tell you something about me. i hate springing forward so much. this, to me, is donald trump's big opportunity. we woke up this morning an hour before we usually do. and i have the kids on board now. my daughter hates daylight saving time. my son hates daylight saving time. i am a long-time hater of daylight saving time, and my wife hates hearing us complain
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about how much we hate daylight saving time. so there is a lot of hate flowing through the house. here in california, we vote, back in 2018, we voted to get rid of this. and we thought we did. 60% of voters said no more. and yet six, seven years later, here we are, dragging our asses out of bed again. at the same time we have donald trump firing air traffic controller, screwing up our national parks, threatening to annex canada, focusing on all these dumb things. and not just dumb things, unpopular things! so, why not focus on a dumb, popular thing and do away with this ridiculous clock change twice a year? [ applause ] we go forward, we go backward. it's like living in a christopher nolan movie. [ laughter ] matt damon is in those. i want no part of it. set the clock and leave it be! give the people what we want! [ cheering ] >> okay, are you ready?
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so this should be the easiest one of all. but it's a 50-50 issue. and if something is a 50-50 issue, it's hard to get excited about it. i assume people would like to have more light later, but some people want to have more light earlier because they don't want to take their kids to school in the dark. >> jimmy: that's how you know he's never taken his kids to school. he thinks it's dark at 7:45. donald trump would have mailed eric to school in a box if he could have. >> it's very much. it's a little bit one-way, but it's very much a 50-50 issue. it's something i can do. but a lot of people like it one way. a lot of people like it the other way. it's very even. >> jimmy: no! it is not very even. it's very odd! and it's not 50-50! i guarantee you that, with the possible exception of those lunatics who get up at 5:00 am to have alone time and watch the sun come up, if you did a poll this morning when the alarm went off an hour earlier than usual, it would have been 98 to 2 in
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favor of getting rid of daylight saving. trump could finally do one thing to make almost everyone in this country happy. this is what he's waffling on? you know, marco rubio, a republican senator at the time introduced a bill that would eliminate daylight saving three years ago. it's called the sunshine protection act. it was passed by "unanimous consent." you know how hard it is for the senate to get unanimous consent on anything? they can't get unanimous consent on consent! you want to make america great again? end this daylight saving madness forever! [ cheering ] i dare you! thank you. by the way, we'll do this all over again next year. i feel like it's wto noting this week marks the five-year anniversary of the great pandemic. covid five years ago this week donald trump announced that covid was here and would be gone by easter. what he didn't mention was that
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it was easter 2022 he was talking about. five years ago, we learned all-new vocabulary words like "coronavirus," "astrazeneca," "airbone transmission," and the scariest of them all -- "zoom happy hours." [ laughter ] remember when we were carefully disassembling our doordash driver's chipotle delivery like we were bomb experts in "the hurt locker?" i was punching in my atm code with my foot. it's hard to believe it's been almost five years since this brave, this woman chose the peril of death over wearing a mask into the ice cream store to get a scoop of fudge. our own, heroic baskin robinhood, may she rest in peace. and thanks to our new secretary of health, robert kennedy jr. f., there are lots of new and exciting pandemics to come. and some old ones, too! measles has now been reported in at least 13 u.s. states. the number of cases in texas is
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up to around 200 now. and a very nasty strain of elon musk is making its way around washington. [ applause ] this is back from a weekend with president trump at mar-a-lago. elon arrived back at the white house last night. damnit, he's cool. i mean, look at that shirt. he dresses like the first person eliminated from "the world series of poker." elon musk was at the center of an acrimonious cabinet meeting last week. he reportedly got into it with secretary of state marco rubio. he lashed out at rubio claiming rubio hadn't fired anyone in his department yet. marco lashed back saying they forced 1500 people in his department to retire early. he asked, "do you want me to rehire them so you can make a show of firing them instead?" the argument went on for what was described as an "uncomfortable" amount of time in front of trump and the whole cabinet. they were yelling and calling each other liars in the oval office. he really has turned this into the celebrity appresident. marco is meat loaf and elon's an
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even-weirder gary busey. and they're fighting. the stock market was down almost 900 points today. it was the worst single day of trading since 2022, but trump is focused on important stuff. march, as you may know is women's history month. to celebrate, donald whipped out the old presidential sharpie for a special proclamation. >> a proclamation that proclaims march 2025 as women's history month in honor of all the wonderful women in your administration, all the wonderful women in america, and in honor of everything you've done for women and this administration has done for women in just what, a month and a half. >> yeah, we've done a lot. and women have done a lot for us, right. this is an honor. [ laughter ] >> women will love me.
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>> jimmy: you know, he always knows the right thing to do in every situation. speaking of penises, stephen miller is donald trump's deputy chief of staff. whose job seems to entail being very strange on cable news. miller was on fox objecting to a joke from "saturday night live" this weekend. you know, these guys that are constantly calling everyone humorless and thin-skinned are themselves humorless and thin-skinned. but really what is most interesting about this is the way he says the words "saturday night live." >> "saturday night live" has not been culturally relevant in 20 years. "saturday night live" has not produced a meaningful talent since the 1990s. "saadi night live" has been a place where comedy goes to die. the only good thing that has happened on "saddy night live" in the past couple of decade is
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when the president hosted "saturday night live." >> jimmy: "saddy night live." "saddy night live." it's so strange. it has such a strange rhythm to it. stephen miller was born and raised in l.a. what is that accent? no one here speaks like that! ♪ >> it's "saddy night live" with guest host stephen miller. >> jimmy: you know, they ought to let him host the show and then we can talk about how unfunny everyone else is. fox is great because in one hour, they can go from "saturday night live" being not funny to jd vance being a hoot! >> vice president j.d. vance has a new title, king of the internet memes. there is a zillion of these, bob ross, the las vegas dome. the very popular chubby face vance. and the vp finally broke his silence on this yesterday, telling a reporter that he has indeed seen the memes.
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i don't know how you could not, and is enjoying the fun. >> republicans used to be seen as the party that were stuffy white guy, boring, right? they're the cool party now. he's like a cool guy. >> jimmy: yeah, he's a regular spuds mckenzie. you know? i hear he even sits backwards in a chair sometimes. it's depressing to see these non-people in positions of power here in our country, but i feel like it makes it even more fun when someone like king charles, for instance, who unveiled his apple play list today opens his mouth and shows the world how strange he is. >> kylie minogue came to st. james palace to perform this song in 2012. ♪ the song and is music for dancing. again, it has that infectious energy which makes it i find incredibly hard to sit still. ♪
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i am also quite stimulated by the funky cold medina, is it? we need to get him on "the masked singer." meanwhile, we have a new number one movie. "mickey 17" starring robert pattinson was tops at the box office this weekend. "mickey 17" of course is the sequel to "mickey," "mickey 2," mickey 4, mickey 5. what was after mickey 5, guillermo? >> guillermo: mickey 6. >> jimmy: whenever hollywood has a new hit on our hands, we turn it over to our in-house movie critic yehya, who has been gone for a while. we banished him. but he is back, by very unpopular demand. and after a long hiatus, i give you yehya talking about the movie "mickey 17." ♪ [ applause ] >> action! good like that? action! hi, it's me yehya. i talk about the new movie
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today. the new movie is called "mickey 17." this movie talk about the moon, about the fire, about the snow. "mickey 17" and twins. you know mickey, what his name? robert patterson? robert also is in the movie. i got the guy but i don't know his name. they have also the mickey, mickey mouse. you know mickey mouse, the guy da da da da. i watch that when i'm young boy. but robert, he is in "kiss the lady in the neck and take his blood." and the guy with him also is something, i don't know. and the girl with him, i got picture. her name caston, caston -- caston.
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idi murphy. the guy also in the show for the kids, he dressed dracula for "simpson street." one, two, three. ha ha ha. and the guy patrick, he he die and he come back. he die and he come back. and he make himself like i don't know, 20, 40, 50. and that's the movie "twins." like lensy lohan. and the movie willy smith, go watch that movie, i don't see it. the guy who do the crown also long time, michael kiddin. and michael kiddin himself many times. in that movie, i watch it. the lady, she get sex with all the husbands. this movie that space and the moon, like what's his name, matt damon, he go to the moon from [ bleep ] for make potato. go see the movie. good movie.
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yehya, yeah! >> jimmy: they multiplied. thank you, yehyas. we have a very good show tonight. jack quaid is here. we have music from poppy. and we'll be right back with john mulaney. [ cheers and applause ] so stick around. ♪ >> lou: abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by university of phoenix.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. tonight, he's got a big new movie. it is called "novocaine." jack quaid is with us. then later, a multi-talented singer-songwriter. her album is called "negative spaces," poppy. you can see poppy live tomorrow night at the fillmore in san francisco. this week, we have new shows with guests including denis
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leery, ellen pompeo, sza, david blaine, ray nicholson and joel mchale. with music from finneas, blondshell and saint motel. our first guest tonight is an exceptionally funny man, who look pretty normal, but is not at all. the same can be said of his talk show. it's called "everybody's live with john mulaney." it premieres wednesday on netflix. please welcome john mulaney. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey -- >> what's up? >> jimmy: i want to say first thank you for coming, and also coming out so quickly. we've had olympic athletes on the show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think we've had usain bolt, the fastest man in the world. >> they say. >> jimmy: not even as close to as fast as you are. >> not even close. and i made time for guillermo. it was perfectly timed.
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>> jimmy: it really was. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: and they say that to be a great comedian, you must have perfect time s >> they say to be a great comedian you should rush ow as quickly as possible and be offputting as soon as possible. >> jimmy: the last time you were on the show, that is the only thing that really counts. >> any other milestones, yeah, they don't matter. >> jimmy: they don't matter. you got married. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you had a baby girl. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's it, though, really, right? those two things. >> i did a broadway show with richard kind. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. that's right. >> not equal, though, by any means. not equal to the birth of my daughter. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter now? >> about 6 months old and is about 20 pounds. when she takes aseat minute liquid, she is taking a 12-month-old. that is based on weight. >> jimmy: she is big. >> she is big. and she has a strong neck and a real presence. i really like her. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: there is an age at which you will have to stop bragging about how big she is, you know. >> that's what they say, yeah. but i'll always brag about her neck. my daughter, she holds herself up. >> jimmy: her name is mai. >> mei, yes. >> jimmy: and her middle name is june. did you do that to be funny? >> no. i'm a professional comedian. if i were going for funny, it might be a funnier leaf every laugh than mei next to june. her mother, we were doing an americanized tribute to her naming her june. originally our daughter was going to be called june for a while. and suddenly i went june mulaney. it sounds like john mulaney said weird. how about mei, which means plum in chinese. so she is mei june. >> jimmy: all right. i'll accept that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and your wedding, i know people like to hear about people's weddings. tell us about your wedding, if
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you would. >> well, our wedding about -- it was a very simple ceremony. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> we were married by sam waterston from "law & order," "the killing fields," and a co-star of olivia's on "the newsroom" who once said to olivia, if you ever get married, i'll perform the ceremony. >> jimmy: he did? why did he say that? >> i think it was chitchat. but you take people up on what they offer. remember you were saying if you ever fall on hard times, you can live in my guest house. >> jimmy: there you were. >> there i was. [ applause ] >> jimmy: okay. so things are going very well for you personally. >> life is fantastic. >> jimmy: something did happen with us on television between the last time you were here on the show. >> that's true. >> jimmy: and that's you and your friend nick kroll were contestant on "who wants to be a millionaire" which i was hosting. >> yes. >> jimmy: playing as a team. >> yes. >> jimmy: you guys did pretty well. >> did we?
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>> jimmy: you got up pretty high before -- >> did we? we won only $32,000 we walked with that's split between the two of us. >> jimmy: but you got up to $125,000. >> and then we crapped out there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we fell back to 32 k. >> jimmy: i do feel partially responsible -- >> good! well, listen. you said -- you said would you guys like to come do this? because this is great. we're friends with you and celebrities. so i thought there is no way we're just going to lose on tv, right? and then right before we go out there, this british guy comes in with a lawyer. you must declare you were not given the answers before. what is this about? this is serious. and we get out there, and they really did -- we lost when we got the questions wrong. there was no -- i know. i thought there would be some kind. >> jimmy: i don't know why you would think that. they've made whole movies about how that's illegal and you can go to jail for. >> they made one movie. >> jimmy: you're right. they made one movie.
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>> it's a really good movie. . >> jimmy: this was a question about the show "succession" on hbo. >> that was the final one, yeah. we had wasted our lifeline with jon stewart on easter island. and we got that wrong. and now we came to what we thought was going to be a walk in the park. >> jimmy: okay. let's look at the clip. >> you want to ask jimmy? >> i don't know. should we ask you, jimmy? >> we're up in the final few questions. it doesn't feel crazy to fly with no lifeline. >> we'd like to ask you, jimmy, what you think the answer is. >> my final answer, and i'm sorry, but i feel like i've been affected by your answers is, a, hideously expensive. >> wow. >> oh, you know what? i blame the writers. [ applause ] >> jimmy: approach it incorrectly. >> that's not -- i've got to
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work on my losing poker face. i scowled at you. >> jimmy: you jerk! but $16,000 is pretty good. >> yeah, it was really cool. >> jimmy: what was the charity you played for? >> the innocence project. >> jimmy: i didn't think you would even remember. >> of course, they help people get off death row, and now they have a little more money to do it. [ laughter ] innocent people. sorry. >> jimmy: john mulaney is here with us. we'll be right back to talk about his show, "everybody's live with john mulaney." [ applause ] ♪ colitis symptoms moderate to severe ulcerative can keep coming back. start to break away from uc with tremfya... with rapid relief at 4 weeks. tremfya blocks a key source of inflammation. at one year, many people experienced remission... and some saw 100% visible healing of their intestinal lining. serious allergic reactions and
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♪ >> jimmy: hey, we're back. john mulaney is with us. jack in the boxq jack quaid is on the way. now it's called "everybody's live with john mulaney"? >> that's right. "everybody's live with john mulaney." >> jimmy: you aren't sure about it? >> earlier today i asked is it someone's lives or everybody's. we're checking at the office which is good. >> jimmy: will you be changing it slightly each season? >> i think so. >> jimmy: why change it each season? >> we did six episodes in a row last may and explored a loft otopics that were central to los angeles at that time, earthquakes, coyotes, hauntings, the future of l.a. as well as palm trees. every major topic that might affect l.a., except one. when we expanded outside of l.a. and so i was figuring out the title. they really wanted me to get "live" in there.
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at one point netflix said why don't you call it "john mulaney live." and i said well, there is a show a quarter mile away that is "jimmy kimmel live!." >> that actually isn't live anymore. >> but you're a live. >> jimmy: i am. >> and a lot about the atmosphere. >> jimmy: what have you learned from season one that you're now going to carry over to this new season? >> that's the bummer is it went really well. >> jimmy: it did go really well. it was very funny. >> it was very fun. it was very enjoyable to make. and most of my instincts paid off, which is a terrible lesson. >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, everything i think of just rolling 7s here. >> jimmy: it's like being donald trump. >> it's really like being donald trump. now, was i humbled a month later on "celebrity who wants to be a millionaire"? absolutely. >> jimmy: sure. >> that brought me pack. >> jimmy: i think we both were. and why wednesday? why is the show on wednesday? >> wednesday is traditionally the hottest night of the week.
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[ laughter ] well, there is another live show on saturdays that you wouldn't want to compete with. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and then there is friday night. let's do friday night. they go we have wrestling on friday night. okay. so we got to devote our live time to wrestling. that's fair. what about thursday? we have new shows premiering on thursday. so we wouldn't help your show because we'd be pushing our other shows. okay. not very nice. so then i'm driving, and i see a billboard for "monday night raw." and i go wait, wrestling is on mondays. i they go that's international wrestling. oh, i'm sorry. i wouldn't want to step on the beloved international wrestling. at this point i was so tired of the conversation. >> jimmy: that you agreed to wednesday. and you're comfortable with it being wednesday? >> i'm comfortable. >> jimmy: celebrities are available on wednesday? >> somewhat. >> jimmy: let's see what you have for your first show. your first guest michael keaton.
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>> yeah! >> jimmy: joan baez. >> yeah! >> jimmy: the great fred armisen. >> yep. >> jimmy: cypress hill and jessica roy. >> from "the san francisco chronicle." >> jimmy: everybody's favorite. now will this be jessica roy's first time working with cypress hill? >> i'm not sure. she writes a personal finance column. so they could have crossed paths at any number of media events. but it might be, yeah. >> jimmy: i do want to mention this, because you were part of an emmy-winning show that david letterman does on netflix. he does the show -- >> i was a guest. >> jimmy: you were a guest on the show. but the show was you and dave and it won an emmy. >> it was me and dave and another special guest, which is my dad. >> jimmy: your dad. >> came on the show. and there was a dinner scene that ended up in my next guest needs no introduction where my dad and have i dinner and talk about fatherhood and lots of things with dave. >> jimmy: the last time you were here i believe you said your dad was unimpressed with meeting dave. >> um, he thought it was an
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equally big deal for dave to get to meet him. [ laughter ] you know what i forgot to mention is my dad had a hard out from that. >> jimmy: what? >> he said i got to be out at 5:00. >> jimmy: why? >> because the parish priest was coming over to my parents' apartment to hit them up for money. >> jimmy: really? >> that feels like you don't have to be on time thing. i can't keep father so and so waiting. i think you can. >> jimmy: yeah. i think father so and son would understand that david letterman was there. but i guess not. >> my dad got to know letterman that night. he hadn't really watched his show ever. but he got to know him and they became fast friends. >> jimmy: you got this week. >> this is on friday night. >> jimmy: this son friday night. this arrived. >> to my dad's apartment. >> jimmy: it is, as you can see, an emmy. >> yes. >> jimmy: and this note. would you like to read that or shall i? >> "hello, chip. here's hoping you and all are enjoying all one enjoys out there in chicago. i found this extra emmy in the
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closet and told the kids let's give it to chip, so here you go. i hope you love it the way television people love it and it's solid gold. congratulations and love, dave letterman." >> jimmy: i mean, that's pretty -- [ applause ] . >> jimmy: i think this hard to get routine your dad played paid off. >> it really paid off big. my dad is like it's heavy. you to be careful of the wings. and i was yeah, i've had them myself. >> jimmy: was he excited? >> he was really blown away. >> jimmy: was he? >> and then he had this great midwestern reaction to the greatest merner david letterman ever. do i send it back? no, no, i couldn't possibly. i said i think it's a keep it type gift. you're not going to ship this back and forth across the country. >> jimmy: so he is going to keep it. >> he was blown away. >> jimmy: will he display it in his office? >> 100%. he won an emmy. sort of. >> jimmy: kind of, sort of. close enough. >> he has an emmy. >> jimmy: he has an emmy. there you go.
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i can't wait to see the show. it's called "everybody's live with john mulaney." >> i just want to say we're talking about -- we're talking about a very meaningful gift. we're talking about our time on a celebrity "who wants to be a millionaire." and i don't mean to ambush you like, this but there has been something that my friend nick kroll and i have been preparing for some time for you. >> jimmy: really? >> and i'm going to facetime him right now. >> jimmy: oh, really? really. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm excited. >> i think you're going to like it. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'll keep him near my microphone. >> jimmy: here, i'll put him right here. >> let's see. >> jimmy: all right. >> hey, nick. >> jimmy: hi, nick! >> hi, jimmy. how are you doing? >> jimmy: good. where are you, nick? >> i'm at home. i worked from home today. >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> you look like you're on a beautiful beach, nick. >> jimmy: no i'm at the grove. i'm filling in for mario lopez. [ laughter ] >> nick, nick, thank you for doing this with me. you yourself put in a ton of
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time designing this gift. and so i am very excited for us to present it to jimmy. nick, so far clued the audience in that we had a difficult time with an easter island question. >> sure. >> what they don't know so much is that you and i and jimmy constantly text about gene simmons, the frontman of kiss. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> and that throughout the taping of celebrity "who wants to be a millionaire" i was trying to slip in quotes of gene simmons'. >> right. it's like gene always says, you know, if anyone tells you they got into rock 'n roll for any other reason than girls, fame, or money, they're full of s-h-and i'm not going to say the rest because i know it's a family show, jimmy. >> but gene doesn't pull any pun punches. >> speaking of gifting people statues, guillermo works yoweri bri this out? >> jimmy: what is this? >> this is both a tribute to
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you -- thank you for the music -- and to easter island and to gene simmons. >> jimmy: what? >> i'm back to the source. i went back to easter island for this. >> he is at easter island now. >> jimmy: okay. >> and we're here to unveil your own gene simmons. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. wow! that is [ applause ] that is absolutely beautiful. >> but it has -- nick, do you mind if i read the inscription? >> please, read it for everybody. we love you, gene. we love you, jimmy. >> we love you gene, we love you jimmy. >> jimmy: on behalf of both of us, thank you, nick. >> this is a really powerful quote from gene. "my mother is probably the weissest person i've ever known. she's not schooled. she's not well read, but she has a philosophy of life that makes well read people seem like morons." [ applause ]
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you, nick. thank you very much, john mulaney. and nick kroll. thanks to little gene. >> jimmy: "everybody's live with john mulaney" premieres wednesday at 7:00 pacific/10:00 eastern on netflix. we'll be back with jack quaid. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i told myself i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms... ...with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after trying humira, rinvoq works differently. rinvoq is a once-daily pill from the makers of humira that can rapidly relieve joint pain, stiffness, and swelling as fast as 2 weeks for some. and even at the 3-year mark, many people felt this relief. rinvoq can stop joint damage. and in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear. rinvoq can lower ability to fight infections. before treatment, test for tb and do bloodwork.
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[underwater ambience] [whale calls] if you switch you also get a free phone... which you need. welcome to getting more. welcome to cricket nation. “smile, you're on cricket!”
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>> jimmy: this week on "jimmy kimmel live!" joel mchale, ellen pompeo, sza, ray nicholson, david blaine, and denis leary! plus, music from blondshell, finneas, mike campbell, and saint motel! some might ask what's the hurry? [slow clock ticking] but if it's the difference between getting mcdonald's breakfast, and settling for a big mac. [intense music] well... run like the wind. [upbeat music] ♪ ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪ i'm gonna explain to you what we do. ray: dea! ray: we're posing as feds. ray: we're ripping off drug dealers. ray: but we went to the wrong house. [gunshot] no! ray: people are coming for us. serious people.
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bart: someone used you. ♪ bart: this is what they do. they put their foot on your neck. manny: this isn't us. we weren't killers. till now. [explosion] [gunshot] ♪ ♪ (music plays throughout) ♪ ♪ ♪ another round? i'm good. ♪ let's do a song ♪ ♪ ♪ (music plays throughout) there it is. all the parts you need, guaranteed to fit every time. ebay. things. people. love.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. poppy is on the way. you know our next guest from "the boys." he was one of them. now, he's a leading man in the new action thriller "novocaine." >> please! okay. so those are definitely third-degree. you're going to want to run it under some cool -- >> i'm not done with you. >> okay, wait, hold on. look, i still feel like we can get what we want here. ah! oh, you're strong. >> jimmy: "novocaine" opens in theaters friday. please welcome jack quaid. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> woo. >> jimmy: we have a new fastest guest. >> no, john mulaney was really quick. i was just trying to beat his time. come through the door, hug the guillermo, shake the host hand. i think i did it in what, four seconds? >> jimmy: you're the winner. there is no question about it. >> great! >> jimmy: >> how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing great. congratulations on the movie. i know you're getting great reviews. i enjoyed it. >> you watched it. >> jimmy: it was a lot of fun. >> i know you're not great with blood. >> jimmy: i got to tell you, yes, i don't like blood and stuff like that. but i saw the bill -- i've been seeing the billboards on sunset boulevard. >> everywhere, yeah. >> jimmy: and have i become, honestly, they worked on me. >> really? >> jimmy: because i became intrigued by it. do you mind if i show this?
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>> yeah, yeah, this is -- >> jimmy: the billboard, you can see right there. >> yeah, yeah. there is a lot to unpack with this photo. >> jimmy: tell us about this scenario here. >> i remember i was like i'll jog to my billboard. i'm an angelino. that's kind of a dream come true. >> jimmy: sure. >> just to have a billboard on sunset boulevard with my face on it. so i remember i jogged there, and i was having this private moment. okay, it's good. it's dark. no one can see me because that's the most mortifying thing in the world being caught admiring your own billboard. i'm there having a cool moment. good job, jack. and then out of nowhere, i just hear, oh, man, is that you? and it was this very nice man. i'd never met him before in my life. and he was so stoked for me. but i was so embarrassed. he had no idea. i'm dying inside. and then he takes it a step further. dude, give me your phone. let's go take a photo you have next to it. and so that's what this is. it's like if you really zoom in on my face, you can just see how
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absolutely -- i'm trying to go along with the bit, but i'm the most i've ever been in my entire life. >> jimmy: is he telling you lower your arm a little bit? >> he is helping me find the pose. >> jimmy: i'm glad he was there. >> dean, you're amazing. i don't mean to reprimand you. you're the nicest person in the world. >> jimmy: no, dean did great. he took a nice photo and now you'll have this. >> and he didn't take my phone. >> jimmy: if dean had run away with your phone, we wouldn't have had your picture, but it would have been a better story. >> yes. >> jimmy: but you're like because the character -- tell a little bit about the character. >> so in the movie, i play a guy who has the inability to feel pain. he can't feel physical pain. he has a genetic disorder where he can't. >> jimmy: is that a real disorder? >> obviously we take to it a hyper real place. but no, it is a real disorder. and one day the woman he loves gets kidnapped, and he kind of turns his disability into a superpower to go and rescue her.
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so the whole movie i'm just getting injured a lot. i don't feel any of it, but, yeah, there are so many prosthetic bruises and bumps and broken bones. >> jimmy: beaten very, very severely. i'll show this for a second. if you're squeamish, you'll see. >> that's not even as bad as it gets, guys. >> jimmy: so did you ever wander around with this, like leave the set? >> well, no. but what i would do almost every day was facetime people in l.a. with absolutely no context. that was just calling my girlfriend and her being hey, how's -- oh my god! or calling all my friends and being like had a bit of a whoopsy. i just did it every chance i could get, every time i was in my trailer. it was my favorite thing on the planet. >> jimmy: and are they still your friends, these people? >> no. i'm so alone. >> jimmy: what is this movie called in other countries? >> oh, yeah, so we were opening in a lot of countries. but the title change is based on
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the region. so in the u.s. it's "novacain." in mexico it's "novocain sindalor." in italy mr. morphinea. but in germany, it is "mr. no pain." i know the movie comes out on friday. i don't think it's too late to change the title. that's still my favorite. mr. no pain. >> jimmy: is pain a word in germany? >> you know what? actually, wait, i think it is. schmers! >> jimmy: mr. no schmers? >> i would love to go to berlin one day and someone no >> jimmy: i am impress you'd flow the german word for pain. >> another reason why i'm alone. >> jimmy: "the boys you're doing one more season. >> we're shooting in toronto. i do so many fight scenes where i can't show pain.
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i can't wince or anything. and it's ruined me for other things. >> jimmy: why? >> i was doing a fight scene for "the boys" the other day and the stunt coordinator had to be dude, remember, you can feel pain. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> they had to keep reminding me. >> jimmy: because there was no flinching. >> if i get punched, my head's going to move but i can't be like ooh. which is a natural reaction. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a weird thing. >> it was weird thing to wrap my head around. >> jimmy: but also, kind of an awesome thing to have in your program, right? >> definitely. but i just have to relearn to feel pain again. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, you will have to do that. >> i will have to. >> jimmy: we can help you with that. we really could. >> cool. >> jimmy: guillermo? he has a pair of cleats that i think could be very helpful. >> the intensity with which you said i'll help you was truly chilling. >> jimmy: he wasn't listening in fairness to him. well, congrats on the movie. i think it's going to be a big hit. >> thank you, man.
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appreciate you. >> jimmy: opens on theaters on friday. jack quaid, everybody. we'll be back with poppy. ♪ [ applause ]
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>> jimmy: thanks to john mulaney and jack quaid. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, her album is called "negative spaces." here with the song "the cost of giving up," poppy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ today's a shade of disbelief inflict the shame you sent to me ♪ ♪ i can entrust a new meaning i'm not ready ♪ ♪ so is this what it feels like breaking from the inside all the time, tell me ♪ ♪ what's the cost of giving up why does it feel like help will never come ♪ ♪ maybe i'm the one i'm
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running from it's too much to carry ♪ ♪ it's all getting heavy lift me up ♪ ♪ it burrows like a summer tick embeds itself to make me sick ♪ ♪ of all the places it could be it's still in me ♪ ♪ guess this is what it feels like speaking from the dark side of my mind, tell me ♪ ♪ what's the cost of giving up, why does it feel like help will never come, maybe ♪ ♪ baby, i'm the one i'm running
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from, it's too much to carry, it's all getting heavy ♪ ♪ lift me up can't push me further down in the trench back against the wall ♪ ♪ so you wanna test me now while the others beg and fail to repent ♪ ♪ they were fit to suffer and i will dig back out tell me ♪ ♪ tell me what's the cost of giving up ♪ ♪ why does it feel like help will never come maybe i'm the one i'm running from ♪ ♪ it's too much to carry it's all getting heavy tell me ♪ ♪ what's the cost of giving up why does it feel like help will never come ♪ ♪ maybe i'm the one i'm running from it's too much to carry
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it's all getting heavy ♪ ♪ lift me up tell me what's the cost of giving up ♪ ♪ giving up giving up ♪ ♪ giving up giving up ♪ [ cheers and applause ] wendy williams. emergency! the former daytime tv host whisked out of her assisted liv

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