incomprehensible but it is happening. we are talking about teen dating violence. i am joined by molly, the health education and youth development coordinator for alameda family school based centers. we are talking about teen dating violence. i think most parents don't think that that is a possibility that their kids would be involved in a violent relationship. i don't think it really occurs to them. >> i think that kind of the work that i'm doing and that organizations like the california adolescent health cooperative are doing is bringing it to the forefront and bringing it kind of up front so that folks can start having conversations with their teens about this. in schools in the community and bring it out that one in three teens are affected. >> that is a stunning statistic. when i heard that earlier. when you say that what are we talking about?

are we talking about verbal abuse, emotional abuse. >> the gamut. a lot of people think it is physical abuse. they think of dating violence as hitting, kicking or slapping. we are seeing emotional abuse, extreme jealousy, isolation and tech abuse coming to the forefront, constant checking and needing to know where your partner is at all times. those are some red flags that we need to watch out for. >> i have two daughters and hasn't occurred to me to talk to them about that. what ages are we talking about? when should we start talking to our daughters about the potential for this? >> it's not just daughters. it is also sons, too. we need to talk to all youth about this. when we talk about dating violence we are shifting it to be adolescence abuse. we are talking about middle school and elementary school.

we want to promote healthy relationships. >> give me some examples of some of the things that you have heard in some of these scenarios. >> i work in a school based health center. our staff was trained by a tool called the heart primer. we were able to be trained on topics all about adolescent relationship abuse. and so some examples that i have seen is that constant checking in through texting, facebook, calling names, putting each other down and then it can escalate. >> we are seeing more of that because we see it on the facebook and texting. it is not just we see it a lot with the girls being catty with each other on facebook or somebody doesn't get invited to a party. now you are saying it is also happening. is it just in female/male

relationship snz. >> relationships that are so broad now. it is not just dating. we are seeing relationships among teenagers being so different. we can't just think boyfriend and girlfriend. >> how aware are parents that this is happening? is this happening right under noses and they have no idea that their son may be verbally abusing a girl or their daughter may be constantly checked on. >> teens want to talk about this. at our clinic site over 80% responded that they would want their provider to ask them about healthy relationships, to talk to them about healthy relationships. during sports physicals when they are signing up to get on sports teens, teens want to talk about this, we need to create those opportunities tr them. i don't think parents are

equipped with those tools. >> i'm going to start this conversation with my daughter, what is it that i'm saying to her so that she doesn't think -- sometimes as a parent if you push too hard the adage is they end up running in the other direction. where do you draw the line? how do you discuss this and how much do you intervene? do you say that's it you're not talking to him anymore? what steps am i taking? >> the advice that i give to parents is that we have to think about the different ways in which youth communicate. there is the media campaign going on, advertising campaign being shown in the bay area. a picture of a cell phone texting back and forth a part partnership between the office of juvenile justice and project youth safety.org and seeing that advertisement on a bus can start a conversation. do any of your friends have a

boyfriend or girlfriend who texts them too much? i think having casual conversations, watching tv shows with each other and having those conversations and also knowing that your school has resources, as well, for your youth. they may not feel comfortable talking to you as a parent but may want to talk to the educator for example or talk to their peers. really these tools, the heart primer and this advertising campaign is about creating opportunities for youth to be linked in with different services. >> if i discover my daughter is being verbally abused by a kid at school at what point do i intervene and how do i -- my instinct will be i have to tell you to pick up the phone and call the other kids parents or step in between. am i doing the right thing if i do that and how do i not turn to her and say i can't believe you

are allowing yourself to be abused by this ding-dong? >> i think taking a step back and really getting educated on how to have these conversations. visiting project youth safety.org has a multitude of resources. futures without violence is a great resource for parents and educators in the community to have those conversations with youth so automatically they won't get turned off. >> what is the warning signs? >> you are looking for isolation, constant checking in. you are looking for a lot of adverse health outcomes associated with dating violence. we are seeing missed days of school, drug and alcohol use, psychological problems, being really depressed. >> if i go to school and i say i think sam is abusing my

daughter, does the school do anything? >> the school gets a little bit complicated. the school can definitely help intervene. what happens is that further isolates that youth or the son and the daughter, the friends from each other. so what we really want to do is rally around all of the resources that are available in the community. i am fortunate enough to be in alameda where we have mental health staff and counselors and educators that can provide support to families and parents and youths all at the different levels. again, i think that there is a tendency to go into the school, make a big commotion and then what happens is that youth is further pushed away from the resources that they need. we don't aunt to ever force a teen or an adolescent to be pushed into these situations to access services.

we really need to start with education first and then move towards them being able to recognize those signs and say this isn't okay. >> probably one of the best ways to do that is to model that behavior in our homes and our own relationships. thank you so much for being here. very important topic. we'll be right back.

really covered a gamut of topics from community colleges and youtube. very, very interesting. now, if you know of someone you think would be a good guest for this show or if you have a topic that you are interested in seeing send us an e-mail. our website is nbc class action.com. thank you for watching and we'll see you next week.

. welcome to "comunidad del valle." today the summit on latino issues brought to you by the white house. we'll take a look at that plus a vietnam war memorial. the sons of san jose. this is "comunidad del valle."

♪ we begin with the white house summit on hispanic issues. they are traveling across the country. they were in the south bay just recently. the committee helped bring this. with us is patricia. welcome to the show. this was a big deal in bringing the white house to the south bay. tell us how big it was. >> it was huge. it was wonderful because it brought the community out and we were able to understand what the programs are from the white house. more than that we really got the sense that they want to know from the community, the people on the street, what it is that we need, what the issues are. and they were requesting

feedback on very important issues, health, education, voters, housing, many topics were discussed, global commerce. not only were they identifying leaders and people in the trenches doing work on the community but they were inviting us to give our opinions and coming back to us after the fact with events that we are bringing into manifestation at real time here. >> we'll get to that in the second segment. how precedent setting was this esflent usually if you get to the white house you have to -- the white house came to you. >> it was extraordinary. it was a wonderful opportunity for our community here hispanics in san jose and the greater area to host the white house. the white house invited educateeeducato educators last fall and announced an initiative and san jose was honored to be one of

the cities. it was phenomenal because we were able to invite 500 leaders in the community. there was no preset agenda. it was an invitation sent out to leaders inviting them to talk about issues. >> and we were watching some similar event that happened late last year in the other parts of the country. but i hear and i was not there but i hear that the white house staffers and those who represent the white house got an earful from the local crowd. we didn't come here to say yes or yes, ma'am. they heard from us. >> they did and they were at every table. we had breakout sessions. they made sure to assign one representative at least from the white house at each break out session so they could hear what was going on and interact with us. as a result of that we are having phone calls and conference calls coming up with

the white house understanding what it is we are doing here. >> what does this say about the power of not only in the latino community but the latinos here in the bay area. is in. >> there is one thing that is quite evident is the latinos in the bay area are going to be a force in the next election and i am convinced that the white house recognizes that. it was nice to give the honor due to the community. they were open about us engaging innovation. one thing unique was silicon valley brought new tools to the white house summit itself. so now the tools that we deployed at this summit will be used and leveraged throughout the rest of the country such as products like google docs. >> we'll talk about the new endeavor that you are taking in our next segment. but this was -- was this seen as

perhaps a partisan event or nonpartisan and here you had people from all back grounds and affiliation snz. >> it was completely nonpartisan. anyone who wanted to express or endorse views on a specific candidate was not allowed to do that. it was coming from a broad base spectrum. it was not politics. issues to the community. programs to work with housing, voter registration but completely nonpartisan. >> i know that one of our good friends is with the white house staff, also. she was here with the united farmworkers. so this is something that they are taking notice of, if you will. >> absolutely. and i think one of the unique dynamics were minutes were taken from each session. those minutes are being memorialized at the white house

office and then redistributed in the community so that they can follow up and find out what actions were taken. it really is a work in progress. everyone rolled up their sleeved that day and put forth tremendous effort. we have incredible leaders in attendance and they were very proud to have participated and congratulated the committee for putting on such a wonderful event. >> they have a special page for us. it is white house.gov/hispanic. log on and find out about this nationwide endeavor by the white house to target latinos and find out what we are looking for and what we deserve. we'll be back after this segment to talk about what next to do with this information. hey guys, breakfast!

♪ [ female announcer ] if whole grain isn't the first ingredient in your breakfast cereal, what is? now, in every box of general mills big g cereal, there's more whole grain than any other ingredient. that's why it's listed first on the side. from honey nut cheerios to cinnamon toast crunch to lucky charms, get more whole grain than any other ingredient... without question. just look for the white check. we're back here on "comunidad del valle" with the recent white house summit on latino issues. they came and heard from us. we gave them an earful. now what? a lot of times when something like this happens that is where it ends. it goes nowhere.

>> today there is a luncheon here where the under secretary of commerce is coming to speak to people who participated with the global commerce breakout session and teaching us the resources that are available, what programs we can tap into and getting a network of people who attended there to participate on an ongoing basis. i was fortunate to sit with a gentleman from san mu tao, the president of the chamber of commerce. we happened to sit next to one another. as a result of the two of us sitting together we are deploying the housing initiative together. we happens to be in the session with a gentleman with a white house program called ally. they want to take immigrants who are learning a new language and put them right into jobs so

paying them to learn the language and putting them into work programs. that is happening. >> we have established a link to the white house now. it seems like that link, that line of communication is going to remain open. >> and not only the white house but the people within the community. we are having conference calls and meetings to really take the ideas to the next level together. and we invite the public to join us. >> an educated effort to tighten the ties with the white house. you started something different called -- >> i didn't start it. i wish i could take credit for it. it is a marvelous organization launched on the east coast. >> here you started it. >> i'm working with my director in san francisco. and we have launched latinos in social media. i am one of the directors, the co director. we want to bring forth higher

tech, higher touch for latinos. we want to promote the use of social media on all bases, for business, for commerce, for education, for social programs. it's really a great champion for nonprofit organizations. it is a very affordable medium people can use. it takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears. it has been phenomenal. the white house really used social media to help drive attendants to the event this year and reach out to different generations. one thing that was very unique was the fact that we reach people through using social media at all levels and age groups. >> could you see latinos tweeting about the state of the union address? >> i would have never imagined and it did happen. one other takeaway from the housing summit was we got together, several of us that

attended got together to watch the state of the union address tuesday following. when would that have happened? we connected there, people that are passionate about causes and politics and got together and we were part of that tweeting sensation. >> the giant has awakened. any final thoughts? >> i want to invite the public to kplcommunicate with you. let's rock the road in 2012 and make sure that your opinion counts. >> did the white house make promises to the group? >> they were going to take the notes that we as a result of the meetings and go back and make sure that they were addressed. they are coming back afterwards so we have a working relationship. that was the promise. >> we'll take it. let's hear the information again thmpt white house has a special

page. any final thoughts? >> i would love to welcome everyone tomorrow. u.s. secretary of education will be hosting a town hall meeting with hispanics on twitter. so look for the twitter hash tag hispanic ed and lattism. >> that language would have been so foreign three years ago. the fact we are talking about handles and tweeting. >> latinos are one of the number one users of social media. >> thank you so much. good luck with the future endeavors with the white house. >> we appreciate it. we'll see you on facebook. a vietnam war memorial right here.

they are known as the suns of san jose, the brave men who gave their lives for this

country in vietnam. now there is an effort to build a memorial in their honor for all of those kia in the vietnam war. a good friend who has an incredible tribute to those who are no longer with us who served in the military. welcome to the show. tell us if you will about this endeavor. we do have some clips. we will have the architect talk about his vision here. this is -- i have been to the memorial in washington, d.c. how close to the real thing is this? >> we would have to say it's pretty close in emotions that we have seen from the public. the people when they see -- there was a replica in our

veterans day parade in our float, but the people were just like the wall in washington, they would walk up to and place their hand on a name and it became a very, very sacred moment for them. we saw tears. we saw a lot of emotions. people were just looking for names. this was within the corridors of our metropolitan district in the city of san jose. >> this is happening. >> this is happening. >> tell us how close we are and what it has taken to get here. >> the foundation was started in 2008 and we have been working to get the policies in place. we have been fundraising since then, a letter campaign, golf tournament and dance. we have jumped through all the hoops that we have been asked to and we are going to get this done. >> when do we foresee a ribbon cutting? where will it be placed?

where can we pay tribute to the sons of san jose? >> it will be at the river park. and we're hoping to have maybe ground breaking in april sometime depending on how the politics go of it. it is an event maybe in november or march depending on how it proceeds. >> when did you decide to get involved? this is something that has been spectacular. >> absolutely. my husband is a vietnam veteran and he was the original designer of the monument. he wanted to make sure it was something that people could come to and sit and have families come and be a calming and soothing organization. so once the husbands get involved in things the wife usually gets involved, as well. >> a guy wrote a book called -- >> absolutely.

this is something that is absolutely necessary for the community of san jose. it's an important event and they need to be relegated as the heroes that they are. >> how personal is this for you? >> it is very personal. i think it is personal to all of us. for myself i personally know nine to ten names on the wall. six have been confirmed from the high school i went to, san jose high school. so it's very personal. i have a cousin on the wall in washington, d.c. on this wall there are 142. and we're here to try and have their names memorialized on this black granite stone that we are going to construct along the river banks. >> this is tireless for you. you have been talking about this for a while, 2008 i guess but probably before that. >> it is tireless and effortless. it is well worth it.