♪ from nbc news, this is "today" with kathie lee gifford and hoda kotb, from studio 1a in rockefeller plaza. and it is try day friday. you made it, everybody, to january 10th. we're happy you're joining me and hoda woman. >> we start we would start off with a little eye candy because it is friday and why wouldn't we. akin akman is here. akin akman is going to show us how to keep our abs tight. >> what is he doing? did somebody -- did joanne lamarca make him do that? this is sexist.

call hr. >> we're sorry, akin akman. anyway, so -- >> we'll be with you in a little bit. >> we'll check back in with him. he'll show us moves of the day that somehow will work the abs. he claims even if we're sitting here at the desk working, there is a way to work our abs. what do we do? >> you have to squeeze in your belly button into the spine and we're going to do that for the whole hour. >> we're not, but -- we're definitely not, akin akman. >> wow, that turned america on. okay. thank you. >> all right. >> big, big sunday night coming up. a lot of our pals out there waiting to cover the golden globes. this sunday night on nbc. >> yeah, they're hosted by tina fey and amy poehler. going to be so good. i can't wait. we're going to play a golden globes trivia game with tim stack and we felt lonely. we didn't want it to be the two of us. >> we have chosen two people from our studio audience. >> how about those two? >> okay. >> you two.

you two. they're going to come in and be with us when tim is here. and we have our votes, right? >> we voted for -- we decided we would pick in four categories. >> i haven't seen most of these movies. i'm at a disadvantage. this is a guess of what we think is going to win, right, hoda, not what we loved. >> what we think is going to love. since we don't trust anyone around here, we'll put them in this velvet case. >> i trust you. >> i do too. you know who is going to take this for us and put it under lock and key? alex. please come out. alex put on a suit today. >> alex looks like the guy from "30 rock," doesn't he? >> he does. >> alex, my dear, keep it under lock and dear. >> i will not take my eyes off of it. >> of course you won't. >> thank you, alex. >> anyway -- >> nothing alex can't do. >> yes, indeed. so there is a new study out, and it claims, now think about this

in your own life, people demote old friends when they get new ones. do you feel like sometimes your new friends -- ♪ you've got to have friends >> no. wasn't a friend to begin with. that's what i think. i've got some friends that i've had for 50 years. and i think what trumps people is time and accessibility. it is not the love of a friend. i got to the point where i thought i have no time for any -- i don't have time for the friends i have. certainly don't have time to make new ones and then i met you, hodi and then i realized there was room in my heart for lots of friends. but i spend more time with you than i do many of my older friends because of accessibility. >> exactly. >> i like you. >> i think i've kept my same core group of friends. >> i wish i liked them. it would be so much easier. >> they're awesome. >> i know my place. >> you're in the group.

>> i know. but i'm in the -- i'm in the pecking order. i'm way back -- >> no, you're not. >> way back. >> no, you're not. >> that's all right. i know my place. there is a great in "the new york times," the social q. >> this is the question. she went to a restaurant, she had a reservation, she's standing with the maitre d' and somebody sitting at their table, the bill is on the table, but they haven't left the table yet. >> they are lingering. >> right. >> so the question is -- >> loitering, except you're aloud. >> you're standing there, they have the bill and what are they doing. they're talking. more coffee, your bill is here, our reservation was ten minutes ago and here we stand. the question is, philip said it is the restaurant's responsibility to make both parties happy. >> wow. that's not easy. >> should you say -- as a manager of a restaurant or a waiter, do you think -- should you say, should you rush them along after the bill comes?

>> this happened to us the other day. we were in florida where we had a place for years and years and years and one of the few gorgeous days and we were lingering at a table near the water. we were having a wonderful time and but because they knous and know we would not want people to be waiting, the manager came up and said, would you move to a smaller table because we have a big party. i'm always happy to do that. i think if the staff doesn't know you, and you're new to the restaurant, you have to wait and let somebody finish their meal. >> i think you do too. and i usually don't -- do you hang around often after your bill comes? >> it depends how much -- if we need a nap. we don't go out to dinner that much. sometimes we linger. with regis and joy, we can go on and on and on. but most of the time, i don't like people so much, i'm anxious to get home. >> i hate when you have a reservation and you're standing there and it is time for it, and if you're late, they say, you're late for your reservation, if you show up ten minutes late. >> they say reservations are

just approximations. you got to read the fine print, i guess. >> so who has time to do that? >> i don't know. we would love to hear what you all think. that's why god made facebook so you could tell us and we could vent and put -- and connect and all that. >> london has come up -- there is a new concept in london called the pay per minute cafe. here is the deal. they will give you coffee for free, they will give you, i guess some snacks for free. >> treats. >> all you have to do is pay a nickel for every minute you're sitting at the table. >> it is an interesting concept. i first read it, i thought how in the world can they make any money at all. but there say problem with those kinds of cafes where people plug in their phones, they plug in their computers and it is their office. and then somebody wants to come in and check their e-mails and have a little latte are out of luck. so apparently it is very, very successful. its slogan is everything is free except the time you spend there. >> let's do the math.

>> a clock face in russian. it is a very successful chain in russia. >> it is working in other places. >> it is working in other places, yes. >> an hour is about $3. >> wait, let's make sure that's right. >> 5 cents. 5 times 60 is -- >> is a lot. >> why did we say about $3? it is exactly $3. but, i mean, you have to wonder the snacks, what is it some peanuts? >> can't be good snacks. >> can't be. >> they have a microwave, bring your own food and it sounds a little shady. bring your own stuff. >> more and more like a dorm, you know? and that's where swine flu starts, swine flu and slime flu. it started in cody's dorm, his apartment at usc and went all over the world from there. i've never seen anything like it in my life. time for friday funny. this joke's on me.

this is the first time i've seen it. i know. yes. >> i like it. >> let's see if i can do it. a woman driving -- i can't. a woman driving a car panicked in a snowstorm. she started to get disoriented so she pulled over and tried to just calm down. calm down. she remembered her dad once told her, if you ever find yourself in a blizzard, just wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it back to a safe place. >> smart. >> sure enough, a snowplow came by and she followed it. she drove behind the plow for about 45 minutes, tailing his every move, perfectly, perfectly, finally the driver of the plow got out and asked her what she was doing. i can't wait to find out. she explained her daddy told her, if she ever got scared in a snowstorm to follow a plow. the driver nodded and said, well, i'm done with the walmart parking lot, ma'am, do you want to follow me over to best buy now? i hate to say it, but i was awesome!

>> you read cold copy better than anybody. that was good. >> i never want to see them again. that's fun. >> should we start that? >> it is better. it is like most of the show. it is time for our johnson's baby where we celebrate new moms and new additions to the family. >> the first baby is andrew graham king, born in germantown, tennessee, on december 19th. his mom lauren says his two big sisters love cuddling with him. >> our next little baby of the week is ellie marie fragassi. her parents she say she loves her jungle theme mobile and tries to talk to the animals as they pass. >> talk to the animals. next is a baby born november 19th, in philadelphia, pennsylvania, logan boneesh jackson. he weighed 7 pounds, 5 ounces and mom jasmine is a calm baby. you're blessed, jasmine.

>> our final johnson baby of the week, charlotte elizabeth gillsdorf, born in richmond, virginia. her parents say their little girl is already very strong. >> god bless them all. congratulations to all our babies. and if you want a chance for your baby to appear on our "today's" johnson baby of the week, all you got to do is go to -- >> klgandhoda.com for the details. hit the connect button. guess who's here? matthew hussey's here. >> we love him. >> and baby it's cold outside, but cheer up. we'll tell you how to reverse those winter blues and stir up some excitement. >> i can't wait. >> right after this. ♪ ♪ ♪ ooh, la la ♪ sing ooh, la la la la ♪ come on, y'all, ooh, la la [ female announcer ] set your success in motion

with the special k challenge. lose up to six pounds in two weeks. with the cereal you love and so much more. what will you gain when you lose? with the cereal you love and so much more. so you can see like right here i can just... you know, check my policy here, add a car, ah speak to customer service, check on a claim...you know, all with the ah, tap of my geico app. oh, that's so cool. well, i would disagree with you but, ah, that would make me a liar. no dude, you're on the jumbotron! whoa. ah...yeah, pretty much walked into that one. geico anywhere anytime. just a tap away on the geico app. diarrhea, gas, bloating?

yes! one phillips' colon health probiotic cap each day helps defend against these digestive issues... with three strains of good bacteria. [ phillips' lady ] live the regular life. phillips'. winter is hard on your face. [ sneezes ] [ female announcer ] the start of sneeze season. the wind-blown watery eyes. [ sniffling ] the sniffling guy on the bus. and, of course, the snow angels with your little angels. that's why puffs plus lotion is soft. puffs plus are dermatologist tested to be gentle. they help soothe irritated skin by locking in moisture better. so you can always put your best face forward. a face in need deserves puffs indeed. as stressful as the holiday season might be and i'm still not over it, it gives us something to focus on and celebrate. >> january comes and off all that shopping and cleaning and cooking and partying, there is nothing to plan for. >> between that and long, dark days, dark, and long, it is no

wonder many of us aren't fans of this time of the year. here to help turn those winter blues into a season of cheer, really, is psychiatrist mary ann chi. am i pronouncing it right? >> absolutely right. >> new york director for the medical center. >> you hear anecdotally about people who suffer from this. we did this today.com survey and our results said 82% said yes, they are affected by this type of year, only 18% said no. we're talking about a scientific thing. >> a chemical thing? >> there are a lot of factors that can contribute. you hit the nail on the head, the darker colder days of winter, longer days of winter. record-breaking cold days we're having, and shorter days of sunshine, so there is different phenomenon going on. there is serious depression, some people struggle with, maybe less seasonal, there is seasonal affect disorder. >> which i have in spades. >> and not surprisingly, so many people, particularly now, are saying, yes, i am feeling blue. i'm feeling the post holiday --

>> we started saying you need something to look forward to, you look forward to christmas, new year's and then long lull. >> groundhog's day. >> nothing going on. is that part of it? >> absolutely part of it. there is also more isolation after the holidays. you have this blitzkrieg of holidays from october through early january, and a lot of people are really connected face to face. then they lose that. so it is really important to plan to be around people, to incorporate activities and things you can look forward to, where you are connecting real time, face to face with people around -- >> like the super bowl. >> super bowl, valentine's day, or even simple things like starting a book club, having dinner parties once a month or even every few weeks, planning little trips, maybe places you wouldn't normally go with your friends, really great ways to stay connected and have something to look forward to. >> i found something as simple as putting fresh flowers in your house can lift your spirits. >> little things.

>> this is the other important thing, on a day to day basis, what can you do to brighten that day, to bring the gloom of the outside not into your home. >> what can we do, doctor? you're the psychiatrist. >> i'm the psychiatrist. i think a hot bath is a great thing to do. the warming of the soul, gives you kind of a moment to treat yourself, it doesn't cost a whole lot of money, it is a simple activity, sometimes just making yourself a nice cup of hot tea and giving yourself that moment to step back and say this is where i am. >> sometimes people need to pay attention to someone who has it worse than they do. whenever i'm in a funk, you can walk by someone on the street and go, oh, my god, it reminds you, kind of stop the whining portion of the program. >> perspective. a whole lot of perspective. we lose that. >> is some of it all wrapped up in all the expectations people have about the holidays. >> absolutely. >> why do we set ourselves up for failure like this?

this is going to be the best christmas ever. i can't wait until new year's eve and then it is never what we concoct in our mind it to be. >> anticipation and expectations can save you or kill you. a lot of it is about the attitude and post holidays, just forgive yourself. it's okay. maybe it didn't work out the way you wanted it to, but there is always the next holiday and what can you do to make things a little better right now. >> is there any more room on your couch? i like you. >> i feel better. >> i don't feel the blues anymore. >> me neither. i feel yellow. >> we'll show you the best ab workout, we'll bring you some more moves today. >> but first, these messages. >> okay. you know? just to unwind. but we can only afford one trip this year, and his high school reunion is coming up in seattle. everyone's going. then we heard about hotwire... and realized we could actually afford to take both trips. [woman] see, when really nice hotels have unsold rooms, they use hotwire to fill them.

so we got our 4-star hotels for half price. i should have been voted "most likely to travel." ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e ♪ hotwire.com book with our app for an additional... $25.00 off your next hotel. for digestive health? yes and did you know that trubiotics is a daily probiotic that helps in two ways? it supports digestive and immune health by working in your gut where 70% of your immune system lives. try trubiotics today. the making of a bombshell starring new bombshell volume with the bombshell boost system. extreme volume meets intensifying topcoat and tada. 10 times more noticeable lashes. new bombshell from easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl.

yeah... try new alka seltzer fruit chews. they work fast on heartburn and taste awesome. these are good. told ya! i'm feeling better already. [ male announcer ] new alka seltzer fruits chews. enjoy the relief!

it's the last day of our moves of the day workout, but we're going to finish strong with our abs. >> akin akman, he has his own boot camp class through exercises like this. >> he promises us for these abs,

exercises we don't have to get on the ground. >> we already like it. >> we'll sit down the whole time actually. >> okay. >> we're not even going to stand up. >> can i ask one basic question. they say you can't spot work on things. is it possible? >> can you pound it away? >> how do you really work that area? >> you just work it. you have to squeeze -- you always have to keep it tight. >> keep it tight. okay. all righty. >> why is akin's sweatshirt on? >> take it off, come on. >> here, it is only -- >> we can't tell what you're doing unless we can see it. >> that's an eight pack. >> i think if he drops his drawers, it would be a 12, but just -- stop it, you're all filthy. >> you're terrible. >> go ahead. >> i apologize for them. >> squeeze in your belly button. >> we have been doing that the whole time. >> we're still doing it. >> all right.

>> you'll have your weights in your hand and bring it right beside your body. so your arms are right beside your rib cage. you're going to reach down. all right. side to side. we call this the side to side oblique. >> side to side oblique. >> it doesn't work otherwise if you don't squeeze your belly button. >> squeeze in. to make it tougher, we'll reach up every time we go down. >> now we're talking. >> just reach. >> oh, reach over. >> reach over, yes. >> reach over, hoda. >> i'm reaching. >> okay. >> how many do we do? >> ten reps. >> ten reps? >> yes. >> okay. >> three sets. >> there's more. there's more coming up. >> show us some more, please, akin. >> drop your weights down. drop them. drop your weights. bring your hands right beside you there. we're going to lift up, lower

your core right here. squeeze in your belly button. >> lift yourself off -- >> what? >> lift up and drop down. >> i can't get my hands on the share. >> you can do it. yes. >> i'm up, but i can't -- >> round up your back and bring your knees into your chest and keep going. >> four or five more times. >> and then a little tougher -- next this is the advancement of the same thing we just did. >> okay. >> lift up and then side to side. >> oh, that's fun. >> do it again. do it again. >> oh. >> all right, fine, i'll do it for you. >> okay. here we go. >> go side to side. >> all right, you guys, akin, thank you so much. >> couldn't you just watch him for hours?

>> you can find the entire week's worth of exercises on klgandhoda.com. >> matthew hussey is with us, right after this. we're back on this try day

we're back on this try day friday with more of "today." it is time to get the other view on dating and relationships. >> here to get inside your man's head and tell you what he's really thinking is relationship expert and host of i heart radio matthew hussey. >> who else would it be? that's the name of the show. we love him, though. >> we do. donna has a question. >> i'm ready. >> when a guy crush pronounces you to others as the nicest person he's ever met and loves you from the bottom of his heart, have you been placed in the nonromantic friend zone? >> you're like deep in the friend zone. >> how would a man -- >> like drowning in the friend zone. >> no way out after that? >> no guy, if he's comfortable enough to say that, if he liked you, he would be certainly

comfortable to say that, you know, say i'm into you or i find you sexy or something. but to say that really indicates you're in the friend zone. here is her biggest problem is when he says that, if she's a nice person, which i suspect she is, that's kind of part of her identity, when he says she's the nicest person i've ever met, she'll take that as validation to keep being nice. but she needs to stop being so nice. spend a day being bossy. spend a day teasing him. spend a day peppering your everyday language with more sexual language instead of saying he looks nice tonight, say you look sexy tonight. as soon as she starts doing that, he won't put her in that role anymore. >> maybe he just isn't attracted to her. >> maybe. or maybe she's not with everyone and everyone thinks she's just nice. that's the big danger when you're too nice, everyone can think you're too nice. >> you're nice, hodi. >> you can be nice and tease someone. >> right. we call that a unique pairing. you find two qualities that seem opposing in the same person.

but what i say to her, we create a guide that helps people break their normal patterns in the new year. if she has a pattern of being too nice, we can fix that, we have a guide called the six short cuts to love in 2014. you can find out on your website, actually. >> i like the way he says pattern. >> you skip a lot of letters. >> debbie in her 50s asks this. there is a guy at my gym i've been conversing with over the past two months. do you think it is okay to ask him if he would like to get together. i'm a bit old school and would prefer for him to ask me out. i'm also not sure about how to go about doing it. what would you suggest? >> you got to start taking action. if you keep being old school, you're going to be really old school by the time you find someone. yeah. if she wants to ask him out, there is a way to do it. she says, go for a hike or something like that with him. you're at the gym anyway, do something sporty, something he'll be part of and say, you know what, i'm going hiking this wednesday, you should come. if you have time, you should come.

she's not putting a question mark on the end of it, question marks people less sexy. you put a question mark on something, it is like you're inviting doubt. you're asking them do you want to come. if you say, i'm going hiking on wednesday, you should come, the only question i have to ask is whether they can, not whether they want to. that way if he doesn't like her, he won't take her up on it. if he does, he will. no risk of rejection because she never asked in the first place. it won't be awkward the next week at the gym. >> i did that, there was a guy in the gym probably whenever it was a year or so ago and i thought he was cute and i walked up to him and didn't know what to do and i wanted to have a drink after the thing or something. and i said, oh, do you work around here, maybe we can get a drink after and he was with someone and i was humiliated. after that, i never spoke to him, hardly looked at him because i was so embarrassed. >> rightly so. if he said i'm getting a drink late, if you're around, come. there is no possibility of rejection. >> but she goes to the gym at 5:00 in the morning. where do you go for a drink?

>> after. i like i'm sharing my insecurities on this program. vicki asked this. if i catch my husband lying about small things, does that mean he's likely lying about important things like cheating? >> i look at this one of two ways. either she's crazy or he is. i think he's the type of person that is lying about everything, he's too spineless to want to just say certain things that might get him in trouble or she's the type of nightmare woman who makes it difficult to tell the truth ever because she reacts in a dramatic way to everything. that exists too. sometimes people start lying about little things because they go every time i tell some truth about something you overreact. it is easier for me to lie. there is two things. firstly, tell him that he's in danger of you taking his words less seriously if he keeps lying about those little things. i know they're not the biggest things in the world, but if you keep doing it, i won't take your word for things anymore. but make it easy for him to tell the truth. when he does tell the truth, react in a way that makes it

easier for him to tell the truth next time, not harder for him to tell the truth. >> that's good. >> by the way, she jumps straight to cheating as well which is an insecurity there. >> we got to go, but have you ever had your heart completely broken. >> i had my heart broken, yes. why? why do you ask? >> because you have such wisdom for a young man and you seem to have seen something coming and it just -- it is nice to know you're human too. >> i absolutely am. >> thank you for telling us. >> we have to go. this is great. >> next time. >> next time he'll tell us about his heart break. >> if you have a relationship question for matthew, go to klgandhoda.com, hit the connect button. >> and we'll tell you how to get you on the road to success. >> how does he know about the golden globes? >> not much. >> "entertainment weekly" tim stack puts us to the test right after this. asionaconstipation,

diarrhea, gas, bloating? yes! one phillips' colon health probiotic cap each day helps defend against these digestive issues... with three strains of good bacteria. [ phillips' lady ] live the regular life. phillips'. to stretch my party budget.

but when my so-called bargain brand towel made a mess of things, i switched to bounty basic. look! one sheet of bounty basic is 50% stronger than a full sheet of the bargain brand. bounty basic. the strong but affordable picker upper. laura's being healthy and chewing her multivitamin. with one-a-day vitacraves for women! it's a great-tasting gummy multivitamin designed for women with more calcium and vitamin d. it's gummies for grown-ups. get $2 off at oneaday.com.

awards season kicks off this sunday night with the golden globes. so we thought we would have a little fun by playing a game. >> here to quiz us on everything about the big event is "entertainment weekly" senior editor tim stack. >> we thought we would get help from a couple of our fans we plucked out of the cold, brooke daniels from south orange, new jersey, celebrating her birthday today, on my team. >> and beth from elton, illinois, is my partner. hi, kids. >> i haven't seen a lot of the movies. >> they're not really movies. they're more like general questions. >> tell me what the buzz is this year. >> the buzz is amy and tina returning to host. they hosted last year. they're hosting next year too. people love them. and then also just, i mean, it is -- the show is about booze. much like this hour, it is a lot of booze. >> we're ready. >> we know we love wine. >> we're ready. let's do it. >> okay. as we just mentioned, tina fey and amy poehler are hosting for the second time this year, and

will host again in 2015. where did the comedic duo meet, on the set of "snl" -- hoda? >> keep reading them so the people at home can see. >> acting class at uva, or summer camp. >> i think b. >> b, at the improv. >> you're correct. >> supposed to be aggressive. >> so this year there are three nominees nominated for both television and movie awards. who out of the following is not nominated? a, julia louis-dreyfus, b, idris elba, c, kevin spacey, or d, chiwetel -- kathie? >> i think they're all nominated. >> kevin spacey. >> you're correct. >> he was not nominated. he's nominated, but not more than one. >> way to go, brooke.

>> thanks a lot. so actress meryl streep is nominated this year for her role in "august: osage county." she holds the record. which accurately shows her record, a, 50 nominations, 20 nods. hoda? >> b. >> you're good. yes. >> i can't see it. >> she's been nominated 28 times and eight wins. >> that's amazing. >> she's a very talented gal. all right, so the each year the cecil b. demille award goes for outstanding contributions in the world of entertainment. this year the award will go to a, woody allen, b, woody harrelson, c, woody guthrie, or d, woody woodpecker. >> you got it. >> it is all you. >> woody allen. >> yes. >> oh, my gosh. >> what is going on? i have been useless to you. i apologize. >> that's all right. that's all right. that's all right. all right.

the hollywood foreign press association has selected a miss golden globe, responsible for assisting and handing out the awards. who is this year's miss golden globe, kylie jenner -- >> miss bacon. >> yes, correct. >> oh, my gosh. >> yes. >> do you have another question? >> no, there is five questions. >> i don't know. >> you won. you won. >> you won. >> what did you get? >> for winning, you get kathie lee's cd and hoda's book. >> thank you. >> thank you. >> thank you, tim. >> a lot of props to you, by the way. >> if your biggest obstacle to reach your goal is you, we have words of wisdom for finally achieving your success. >> that's right after this. i'm so sorry, baby. our daughter is all kate.

they have the same walk. the same grin. and the same beautiful hair. with nice 'n easy, get the most natural shade of you. in one step, colorblend formula gives expert highlights and lowlights. for color so true to you, they may think you were born with it. ♪ she's a mini kate. i'm a lucky guy. with the expert highlights and lowlights of nice 'n easy, get the most natural shade of you. ♪ for digestive health? yes and did you know that trubiotics is a daily probiotic that helps in two ways. it supports digestive and immune health by working in your gut where 70% of your immune system lives. try trubiotics today.

if you're one of the more than 80% who will give up on your new year's resolutions by the end of the month, you're not alone. listen up. >> there is often some kind of obstacle in the way of helping you get disciplined. elizabeth lombardo is here with smart strategies to help you overcome that roadblock and reach your goals. >> because we want you to, right? >> yes. you can do it. >> we always plan so well, but somehow it seems like we go back to our old ways, the ways we have always done things, right? >> we're in a rut. >> we try to bite off too much. take a simple step. start small. we have so much going on in our lives. figure out one thing you can do today or this week, even if it is five minutes of deep breathing or walking around the block, one thing for yourself to get right on track. >> we were asking our viewers, to ask them what they thought their biggest obstacles were. and a lot of them said their biggest obstacle was themselves. here is kelly key via skype, a nurse. kelly, tell us what you want to do to be happy. >> hi, guys.

well, i wanted to get healthy in 2014. i have a big family, i have a lot of responsibilities. i just wanted to be more healthy for my children and for my husband and my life. i'm going to school to be a nurse practitioner and i want to be a good example to my patients and to live a healthy and happy life. you need to be a good example of that. so -- >> what should she do? >> life gets in the way, doesn't it? we all have a lot of obstacles, a lot of buts, i want to be healthier but, the key is to kick your but and get a bigger why. why you want to do it is bigger than your but, you'll make the change. with kelly, she wants to be a good example for her kids, for her patients, think how it affects her physical health and her emotional health. >> concentrate on that. >> concentrate on your why, it

makes your butt smaller. >> i like that. we often do say that, what i would do, i want to balance everything, except for one thing, i have my kids and i have to take care of them, i would work out but i can't. i this i that does -- the problem gets in the way. >> it does. it is not that the problem isn't there, but you focus on your why, make that bigger and focus on what is this going to do for me, that will get you back on track. >> okay. >> a comment on our facebook page was interesting. one woman said her biggest obstacle was i'm never able to make decisions for myself, even little stuff. >> so here's the thing. when we have that label of i'm indecisive, guess what, she's indecisive. first thing i would do is change her label. change your label. what do you say to yourself, if you could stick a microphone in your brain, what would you hear yourself saying to yourself? >> what makes you indecisive? >> fear. fear, should it be this, should it be that. fear of making a mistake. just go with it. >> how do you tell yourself just to go with it. fear is a very real thing to people. >> the best way to overcome fear, face it, yeah.

you don't have to be perfect. i think we're such a perfectionistic society, it has to be the perfect decision. make a decision, go with it, if it doesn't work out for you, make a change later. >> i think baby steps are the best way. it is easy to get discouraged, you tried something, it didn't work, you don't want to do it again. >> so many of our joy fit people who come on after they lost 100 pounds, it started with one step. one day. and then -- yeah. be merciful to yourself. >> forgive yourself, absolutely. >> we forgive ourselves. >> the best book to read for changing your life, thank you so much. first this is "today" on nbc.

if you made a commitment to change your life in 2014, but you're just not sure where to begin, there are a lot of books out on the market right now. which one is right for you? >> psychologist and author of "your next big thing" ben michaelis recently blogged about some of his favorites for "the huffington post". >> you have your greatest hits on the table. start with the first one and tell us why you like it. >> absolutely "the element" is a fabulous book. it gets at what is that passion that you have, that one thing

that when you're doing it, time seems to flow and you don't even notice it. it is such a wonderful thing and it can encourages you to spend a little time every day doing that one thing that gives you joy. >> i like that. >> so smart. >> "the drive" is the next one. >> daniel pink talks about the fact that money is not a great motivator. things like purpose, and passion, these are the things that truly motivate us. and in fact, sometimes you pay people for a task, they become less motivated to do it. finding that one core thing allows you to push forward when days are tough. >> and many people with the most money have the least happy people that i've ever met sometimes. people should understand that doesn't automatically give you happiness. what is number three? >> "four hour workweek," i like it. >> only one hour a day, so sort of like four hours. >> what i love about this book, tim ferris breaks things down into the simple components, things you can do to make time

more efficient. for example, using e-mail to like a game, trying to get your e-mails done really, really quickly, or trying to use hoot suite to get your social media done at the same time. tools he gives you in the book to make your time more effective. >> and then what do you do with the time you have left? >> relax. have a drink, like you guys. >> i think there is something about having a deadline and knowing it has to be done by -- sometimes i play that game with myself. like, it might sound stupid, we'll order dinner in, it will be here in 40 minutes n 40 minutes, i'll see if i can get this done, this done, this done by the time the person comes. >> who is we? >> anyway, so -- >> sorry, everybody. trying to get some tidbits. last one is -- >> "return to love". >> this is my favorite. in this book, marianne williamson takes faith and puts it front and center in your life. your life is defined by what you believe in and what gives you

meaning and in this book, she really takes faith and shows you that if you define what that is, define what your values are, you can live a really rich life full of love. >> i don't think it is possible to be truly, truly at peace in your life without examining that one aspect of your existence, which is your spirit as well. >> without faith, there is no life. >> i like him. >> me too. >> your last one? >> the last one is a classic "the 7 habits of highly effective people." this one, steven covey breaks things down to what you should be doing with your time, to give you meaning, and purpose with your life. it is not about how much money you make, but how much meaning you make in your life. >> thanks. those are all good. >> i like him. he's a beautiful spirit, hodi. >> thanks. >> thanks very much. next week, the hits and misses of the golden globes, all of that. and bella rossalini, and ice cube. hank azaria.

country music star jennifer nettles. >> have an awesome weekend. >> bye-bye. >> i'm here to help. through this get together. ♪