♪ da da da da ♪ ♪ da da da da ♪ ♪ da da da da ♪ ♪ da...♪ sorry brenda.

crystal geyser. bottled at the mountain source. da da da. >> here she is now, ellen degeneres. [cheers and applause]

>> ellen: all right. i appreciate it. i like you. i like you. thank you so much. have a seat, or not, whatever you'd like to do. it's your time. thank you very much. back at you, all of you. if this is your first time to the show, welcome to the studio. this is the performance area here and i do the interviews over there. behind the curtain is my rec room. [laughter] somebody saw "50 shades of grey" this weekend. i love real estate. people love. that i love to buy houses. i love to sell houses. when i order a drink, i'd like

it to be on the house. [laughter] i always want to know what houses are out there. you have to know how to read the real estate listings. they put in things that seem positive and they're not. since i know a few things about homesable the creator of hgtv's "ellen's design challenge" mondays at 9:00. [cheers and applause] oh, thank you. i thought i would point out a few things to watch for when you are buying a house. let's look at the first one right here. 2 bedroom 2 bath condo with potential. [laughter] look out for the word potential. potential means that the yellow mold could potentially grow into black mold. [laughter] one of a kind 5 bedroom house. red flag. the builder never made another one because he's in prison, okay? he's been sued and can't make

another one. and what i would look at, who needs a 2 bedroom house with 5 bathrooms. you don't need a house. you need a doctor. [laughter] you don't need that many bathrooms. two people in there. cozy studio apartment. cozy means teeny tiny. if you are a person that prefers to sit in the middle seat on an airplane, this is for you. and here's something that seems good. it's 3 bedroom, 2 bathhouse, seller motivated. that means that this house is currently on fire. [laughter] he wants to sell quickly. and very quickly, classic means old. retro means old. original means old. good bones, old bones. newer, about to be old.

[laughter] the er on the end. and i hope that helps you if you are looking for a house. right now, i will use my good bones for this dance. ♪

[cheers and applause] >> ellen: thank you. thank you very much. thank you. thank you so much. so i made reference to something in the movie. how much of you saw "50 shades of grey" this weekend. [cheers and applause] you saw it, claudia? of course you did. how many of you can't raise your hands because they're tied up? [laughter] it made like $1 billion. it made so much. and everyone is talking about it. last week i showed a clip from the "today" show where matt lauer seemed to be a little too into the movie. >> that's definitely the idea, yeah.

>> yeah. >> thank you, sir. [laughter] >> ellen: apparently "today" show viewers thought it was real and this is happening now. >> people actually thought you came to work dressed like that or changed at some point into that ensemble. >> i wasn't in that outfit! >> people believed that you might wear something like that to work. >> no. i started tweeting out yesterday that it was just a video edit. it was a joke on the part of ellen. >> ellen: all right. [cheers and applause] i'm sorry. matt lauer, i love you. that was just a joke. i'm so sorry. i want to come clean. we did doctor that a tiny bit. here's a clip from this morning's "today" show that's totally real. >> a check of the weather now.

>> once we get through this storm over monday, i wish i didn't have to talk about this now. monday morning, heavy winds to the south. an icy mist is coming in. [applause] >> ellen: real. 100% real. it seemed to be riding up his cheek or something. [laughter] he was fixing it. here's something else that seems fake but it's real, "the bachelor." are you watching "the bachelor?" [cheers and applause] this week it was on sunday and monday, so it was like two days of "the bachelor" and it's exhausting to watch. it's exhausting for the bachelor himself. >> i was curious to see what you are feeling about it. [sighs]

[applause] >> ellen: another show people are talking about is "the slap" on nbc. did you see -- it aired once already. i don't want to say the producers stole my idea, but they stole my idea. they knew i was coming out with a similar show, but mine is better because it's not one slap. it's many, many slaps. it's called "slaps." theirs is "the slap." mine is "slaps." this is mine. >> she's america's sweetheart. adored by mill yaonz of fans, but sometimes she goes too far. and the slapping does not stop.

>> stop it. [laughter] >> "slaps" also on nbc. [applause] >> ellen: another real thing. all real. we've covered television. here's some web videos i want to share with you. this cat makes me laugh so much, it's an angry face and i like these cats because they have angry faces. very mischievous. she's filming. she knows something will happen. it's her cat. the remote and, uh-oh. she's filming. i don't know what she's

thinking. >> no, no, no. [laughter] >> ellen: she's going to do it. [cheers and applause] here's a kid that loves the song "bang bang." ♪ got a bootie like a cadillac ♪ ♪ i can put you into overdrive ♪ ♪ bad for you you need ♪ ♪ a good girl to blow your mind ♪ ♪ bang bang into the room ♪ ♪ bang bang all over you ♪ ♪ wait a minute ♪

♪ let me take you there ♪ ♪ let me take you ♪ ♪ bang bang ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> ellen: excellent dancing. i saw that. i have four words -- bring him to me. andy, do we have too many for one more? >> yeah. >> ellen: are you sure? do we for sure have time? >> yes. >> ellen: now i feel like i wasted too much time. should i start? are you sure we have time? [laughter] all right. here's a woman. she's really good at kickboxing. very impressive, right? impressive. also dangerous, though. can i show what happens if -- are you sure? all right. this is the rest of the video we got ahold of and she should

pay more attention because look what happened. [applause] real. 100% real. all real. all right. if you have a video you'd like me to see, upload it to ellentube. we'll be back.

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before i had the shooting, burning, pins-and-needles of diabetic nerve pain, these feet grew up in a family of boys... married my high school sweetheart... and pursued a degree in education. but i couldn't bear my diabetic nerve pain any longer. so i talked to my doctor and she prescribed lyrica. nerve damage from diabetes causes diabetic nerve pain. lyrica is fda-approved to treat this pain. lyrica may cause serious allergic reactions or suicidal thoughts or actions. tell your doctor right away if you have these, new, or worsening depression or unusual changes in mood or behavior. or swelling, trouble breathing rash, hives, blisters, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling, or blurry vision. common side effects are dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain and swelling of hands, legs and feet. don't drink alcohol while taking

lyrica. don't drive or use machinery until you know how lyrica affects you. those who have had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse lyrica. now i have less diabetic nerve pain. and i love helping first graders put their best foot forward. ask your doctor about lyrica. >> ellen: i would like it read you a letter. "i'm getting married in september. and all i want to do is see you for my bachelorette party. i have six bridesmaids. i love everything about your show. i watch it every day. seeing the show would top my wedding day, but don't tell him. is there any way you could get

me tickets? i appreciate it. you are an inspiration. i strive to do great things like you." we skyped with cassie watts and her bridesmaids and offered them tickets and they're here now. come on down. [cheers and applause] this will be tricky with this necklace. >> i can take it off. >> ellen: don't. you look beautiful. first of all, thank you for all that. and i'm glad that you love the show that much. why did you want to celebrate here with your friends? >> where do i begin? i feel like i've been to every bachelorette party and you go to vegas, tahoe, but i've been watching you for 10 years. >> ellen: we've been on for 12, but go ahead. [laughter]

>> sorry. >> ellen: i'm kidding. >> i've been watching you forever and i just have an in-home daycare and during nap time or at theened of the day if i have to record it if it's crazy, you bring my sanity back. >> ellen: the kids should watch them, too. i want do get them younger. >> you come on at 4:00, which is right around the time they wake up. so sometimes i will start waking them on and turn you on and we start dancing. >> ellen: thank you so much. huh a road trip down here, right? >> yes. >> ellen: we took two cars and the girls decorated my car. it said "ellen or bust." yep. i want you to have your bachelorette party here. so you will need some things. andy, will you bring out some

things to make it more bachelorettey? [cheers and applause] you have a tiara and cocktails are coming over here. >> oh, my gosh! [cheers and applause] >> ellen: you aren't driving. you can't sit here because we have guests. i will show you where you will watch the show for the rest of the time. >> oh, my gosh! [cheers and applause] >> ellen: don't drop that. don't put it down. >> thank you so much. >> ellen: are you excited about this? >> yes! >> ellen: somebody's in my

bushes. who's in my bush es? >> i don't know. [cheers and applause] >> ellen: hi, nick. hi. nick is like, you are so overdressed. why are you so overdressed? i'm sorry, but i still feel like somebody's in my bushes. are there other people in the bushes? [cheers and applause] >> ellen: nick, escort cassie

over. >> thank you so much. >> ellen: go with nick. [cheers and applause] hold on to nick. we'll be back.

of the deadly balcony collapse. ===vo=== now, the berkely mayor offers his theory about a possible cause of the tragedy. ===take vo=== plus, the warriors return to a heroes' welcome. and now we're learning much more about the victory parade. ===sot=== "we really worried he was going to start having liver problems the vet said." ===take vo=== then at 6... pot for pets? why a local woman says medical marijuana saved her dog. ===close=== today at 5 and 6 on nbc bay area news. >> ellen: all right. this sunday our next guest is nominated for an academy award

for her brilliant work in "the imitation game." please welcome keira knightly. [cheers and applause] >> playing my husband's music when i come out. >> ellen: congratulations on everything. we'll talk about the film in a minute. i loved you and benedict and it's just beautiful. >> thank you very much. thank you. >> ellen: you're welcome. thank you. thank you for being here. and you are with child. congratulations. >> yeah. thanks. [cheers and applause] i love that you got me out after the strippers. get the pregnant woman out here. [laughter] >> ellen: did you have a bachelorette party? >> yes. i don't remember much about it, but i assume it was great.

i don't think i had any strippers. >> ellen: no? >> maybe i need another after this comes out. >> ellen: you can't drink right now, obviously or you shouldn't be if you are. >> i know, no. i can't drink. i'm up for an oscar and can't drink at the oscars. i went to the doctor -- you have lots of checkups. and she said, any questions? i said, when can i drink? i just want a margarita. >> ellen: it's one thing to be pregnant and you can't drink, but the oscars is a party atmosphere, everything about it, win or lose, you want to drink. >> it's true. my husband's having a great time. i'm eating for two and he's drinking for two. >> ellen: i saw a picture of him at the bar. does he just hang out another at bar? >> yeah. there he is, drink in hand. yeah, no, he's -- there's a lot of free champagne and he thinks because i'm not drinking it he has to, all of it, because it's free. you really do have to. >> ellen: this is the first

time that he's been to the awards with you, right? >> yeah. >> ellen: did he come before? >> no. i'm pulling pregnant lady, you have to come with me. >> ellen: what do you mean you have to come with me. they're fun. >> i think he's loving it. he gets to wear nice suits. he's enjoying that. >> ellen: he's a handsome guy. i love the way he looks. >> thank you. >> ellen: being pregnant, i know from talking to so many people that have been pregnant, there are people that give you advice and guess if it's a boy or a girl. do you know if it's a by -- boy or a girl? >> no. do you want to guess? >> ellen: boy. i always say boy. i have a 50-50 shot. >> somebody said it was a girl because i'm carrying that way and you are saying boy because you are carrying it this way. >> ellen: i think it's a boy. >> it's definitely there, isn't

it? apart from -- the problem with boys, when you change their nappies you can get the wee in your face. i never knew that. >> ellen: we're in america. let me translate. nappy is a diaper and wee is pee. [laughter] >> yeah. i forget we speak different languages. >> ellen: i understood it because i speak both, english and american. they will sometimes wee in your face. yeah, that doesn't seem fun. >> no. >> ellen: you only have two hands. you can't like -- >> and apparently they roll. so you have to stop them as you grab something else to stop them peeing in your face. so that sounds interesting. i don't know what i'm going to do about that. i will keep you posted. >> ellen: please do. i will want to hear about that

a lot. and then someone asked you if there was a birth plan. >> there's a birthing plan. what is the plan apart from trying to get it out? there's not an option to keep it in. >> ellen: you should plan something. i don't know when you are due . >> my plan is that it will come out. >> ellen: you don't have to plan that. that will happen. >> i don't need a birth plan then. >> ellen: back in the day, people would have a child in the fields and just drop it out and keep working. >> that's my plan. >> ellen: so you can be on set and keep working. >> exactly. cameras would be awful. >> ellen: that would be great. >> if you drop the strippers back in, i could probably just

go. >> ellen: really? >> no. >> ellen: if we were in sweeps -- this is your second oscar nomination. is it better because you know what's happening or more relaxed or does this take all the, this is more of a priority now? >> i think i'm pretty relaxed. i had an amazing dress last time. it was very, very tight. it was so tight that i could not sit down. once i sat down, i cannot get up myself. i had it fitted only when i was standing up and i didn't think about the whole sitting down thing. so when i needed to stand up, my brother had to wench me out the seat. >> ellen: it's so funny that women don't plan for that. i see that all the time. you put a dress on but you don't sit down to see what it feels like. it's a three-hour show. so you are cutting off circulation to your legs.