>> 10 seconds! [ intercom buzzes ] >> yes? >> mr. trump? >> yes? >> mrs. trump is here to see you. >> send her in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

hello, ivana. >> hello, donald. [ laughter ] >> you know, i'm surprised to see you. i didn't think we had anything to talk about. >> oh, i think we do, donald. [ laughter ] you see, i have no intention of settling for $25 million. >> well, darling, i'm afraid you'll have to. you did sign a prenuptial agreement. [ laughter ] >> a contract doesn't worry me. i'll fight it. >> well, you're welcome to try, but section 1 clearly states, and i quote -- "in the event of a divorce, the party of the second part, mrs. ivana trump, will receive $25 million. under no circumstances, and at no time, and in no country, may she request more." now, this is your signature and thumbprint, isn't it? >> well, yes, of course, you know it is. but that contract isn't valid.

you have a mistress, donald! >> okay, i must remind you, ivana -- that according to section 5, paragraph 2, i'm allowed to have mistresses, provided they are younger than you. [ laughter ] >> donald, do you actually think that i am going to take this lying down? >> well -- in section 5, you did agree to, "take this lying down." and "let me walk all over you." and then, where is it? oh, yeah, "thank me and ask for more." >> okay, donald. okay, you win. i'll take the $25 million. but you had better believe that i am going to get every cent! >> yes. as long as you are aware that you will be paid in the giant stone coins of the yapp islanders. >> it can't say that!

it can't say that! >> right there. i got it from ripley's believe it or not. >> okay, donald, but you just wait until i write my book, ha ha! >> i should tell you that all the sordid details of this divorce are my property, and will be incorporated into my board game. >> oh, donald -- >> you know, ivana, in a way, i'm disappointed. i mean, i really thought beating you would be much more of a challenge. it was so easy. i mean, do you realize how badly you've been beaten? you were easier than merv! i mean, think of it -- here you are, the mother of my children, a partner in my business, and you're getting so little! >> i'm sorry, donald, i'm sorry. >> look, ivana, let's make this interesting. i'll give you a double or nothing proposition. >> double or nothing --ill give nothing proposition.

>> double or nothing? >> you have two seconds. >> okay. okay. >> find the red queen. find the red queen. you know what i mean. there she is. keep your eye on the lady and then you will know. it's a red queen. you know what i mean. find the lady and you will get the green. >> nothing for you. yes? >> mr. trump, you wanted me to remind you about saturday night? >> live from new york, it's saturday night.

>> dana carvy. bill hartman, victoria jackson. joan lovin. dennis miller. mike meyers. and kevin leland and features al franken. from the "saturday night live" band. musical guest, aerosmith. and starring tom hanks.

ladies and gentlemen, tom hanks. >> thank you very much. oh, man. i can't believe it. i hosted the show now four times and just now i banged my knee on this thing back stage. it's killing me. you okay? >> yes, sir, i am fine. it's swollen up a little bit, but i will be fine. got, it hurts.

it hurts so much. why does it have to hurt this much? >> we can get somebody to look at it. >> it's okay, already. stop making a fuss. >> dear god, i know you have been good with me. out on cassette and grant me this one last request. please make the pain stop. please make this pain stop! oh, my god.

>> wow. glad that's over. i feel great. in fact, i feel wonderful. i have never felt so wonderful, so free. so light. all the pain is gone. am i really light as air? free of trouble? free of care? no more worries, no more burdens. all because my legs stopped hurting. look at that poor man. i wonder who he is. he looks so sad lying there.

but still i feel wonderful and must tell the others, i must share my happiness with them. >> hello, everybody. are you feeling what i'm feeling? is it wonderful? isn't it glorious? what is going on? why is everybody so agitated. what are they vibrations i'm feeling? is something wrong? victoria, why are you crying? there is nothing to be sad about.

everything is wonderful. phil, phil, tell her everything is wonderful. don't you understand? why don't you answer me? you are acting like you can't even hear me. >> they can't hear you, tom. >> what? who said that? mr. president, tell me. what's happening. why can't i make them understand? >> because they exist on a different plane from us, tom. >> you mean, all that pain, what happened back stage that i bumped my knee, i'm dead? >> no, tom. you are an incredible pussy.

>> i'm frightened, mr. president. i don't like this place. i want to go back. >> you must cling to life, tom. you must want to live. >> oh, but i do. i do, mr. president. i want to live. wow. have we got a great show for you

tonight. aerosmith is here! the look on my face,be abm but i'm very, very hungry. >> you may not be able to tell from the look on my face, but i'm very, very hungry. i need something for my tum tum. something with just enough protein to seek out my hunger and eliminate it. yours is effective at providing it. make your tummy happy. yep, greatness deserves recognition. you got any trophies, cowboy? ♪ whoomp there it is uh, yeah... well, uh, well there's this one. best insurance mobile app? yeah, two years in a row. well i'll be...

does that thing just follow you around? like a little puppy! the award-winning geico app. download it today. don't go it alone.e on a washing machine? ♪ this columbus day event, sears' experts will help you save up to 30% off appliances. plus free delivery on appliances over $399 when you use your sears card. sears. house experts for home owners. trublcovergirl p!nkrfect blend for each of us blend of rockstar and mama bear. her trublend... light 4 it blends in doesn't build up for a flawless nude look find your trublend at easy breezy beautiful covergirl trick or treat!s) hello, don't you look so cute! happy halloween! (door bell rings again) trick or treat! you two again. thank you! (bell rings... yet again) wow! (announcer) this halloween, whether you want a little fun or full-on festive,

petsmart will help you celebrate your way - with costumes, toys & treats. ♪... you're my best friend. when is your flu shot more than a flu shot? when it helps give a lifesaving vaccine to a child in need in a developing country. thanks to customers like you, walgreens "get a shot. give a shot." program has helped provide seven million vaccines. make your flu shot make a world of difference. walgreens. at the corner of happy and healthy.

>> you are watching cable 10, aurora, illinois community access channel. >> wayne's world, excellent! >> welcome to wayne's world. here's wayne campbell. >> party! party hardy! it's friday, 10:30 and time to party with payne campbell. with me as always is garth. >> party on, wayne. party on, garth. >> we are doing a show. >> just doing a lot with the show. hi, garth. i don't understand how you managed to get everything you eat on the front of your t-shirt. >> this is fascinating. myself, i am entlaled. >> can you go, please? >> i'm good enough to do your

laundry, but not to be on wany's world. >> you have a firm grasp of our relationship. tory about that. before i begin, we have a special wayne's world this week. garth's cousin is a roady for aerosmith and they are going to be on the show. >> i can't believe they are actually here! >> don't go girlie on me. the only thing is that i had to promise to have barry on as a guest. garth's cousin is a roady for aerosmith. >> welcome to wayne's world. >> hi. >> you know warth, right? >> good work on getting aerosmith on the show. >> i told them that wayne's

world was good for promoting the upcoming gig and they went for it. >> aerosmith is definitely peer, right? >> they are upstairs in the kitchen sitting at the table. >> you mean they are upstairs at the breakfast nook? aerosmith is in my breakfast nook? let's go to the nook cam. >> nook cam, nook cam. excellent, party time. >> it's the nook cam. there they are. aerosmith. this is amazing. airee smith is sitting where i eat my nut and honey every day. >> they are actually here. i'm not worthy! i'm not worthy! >> garth, take a ritalin.

you are a roady, right? >> well, yeah. we get our share of the babes, but we don't have a lot of time and there a lot of people to consider. they have crews and management and of course the roadies. >> okay. what you are saying is roadies are the bottom features in the great babe foot chain, right? >> that is not what i'm saying. a ton of checks want to go out with the roadies. >> yeah, right. and monkeys my fly out of my butt. >> let's see what's happening on the nook cam. she is going to say something

stupit. this is brutal. the walk of shame. garth, go. >> my mom must be stopped. use violence if necessary. >> excellent. >> you are going to do us a demonstration of what to do on stage. >> make sure they have their evian and bring them out on stage and put up the mike and make sure they are in the right place. he was really interesting, not. i honored my part of the contract. >> ladies and gentlemen, i bring you aerosmith.

>> good job! >> okay. welcome to wane's world oh, mighty one. i think i'm going hurl. >> garth, get it together. don't hurl. if you hurl and i catch a whiff, i'm going to spew. if i blow chunks, someone else is going to and that will set off a chain reaction. already? sorry about that. >> make yourself comfortable. i just have to say i think you guys are the greatest band in the world.

>> without a doubt. >> aerosmith is here. >> whoa! >> okay. we had a lot of people. we told them you guys would be on the show. they had a lot of questions. here are the top three questions they had for aerosmith. question number one, is it true you guys don't do drugs or alcohol anymore? >> that's true. no drugs or alcohol. >> no way. >> way. >> no way. >> way. >> garth? >> next question is for steven. are those really your lips or are they lithium plants like barbara hershey had in the movie, beaches? >> they're mine. >> lip meister. okay. with the recent developments in eastern europe, do you think that was a temporary set back?

>> that's a hard question. >> i would have to respond with a qualified yes. there will be no real change with the soviet union. >> i disagree. there has never been a blueprint. >> however, you study history, you will have the rise of the nation state. socialism has been an historical inevitability. >> fascinating. we are just about out of time and it has been my fant as tow play with you guys. i was wondering if you wouldn't mind singing the wayne's world theme with me. >> let's do it. >> check, check, one, two.

>> let's do it. here we go. one, two, one, two, three. wayne's world, wayno world ♪ ♪ excellent ♪ wayne's world, wayne's world. it's party time, it's excellent ♪ they want to meet. i hear you do not make it on the freak show. >> wayne's world, wane's world. it's party time, it's excellent. wayne's world ♪ ♪ it's party time, it's excellent ♪

>> thank you. thank you. rrived. the best iphone ever is here. and you're all like... and then you remember there's verizon. which is great, because if you're going to get the best iphone wouldn't you want to have the best network? kinda makes you want to jump for joy. tell all your friends and family. even throw a party. get up to $400 when you switch to verizon and trade up to the iphone 6s. and now you can upgrade to a new iphone every year without the wait. so you'll always have the best iphone on the best network.

how can you see yourself in new glasswithout your glasses? at lenscrafters, our unique camera and screen system lets you compare yourself in four different frames at time. making sure all your vision choices are clear. lenscrafters loves eyes (man) hmm. ♪hat do you think? (stranger) good mornin'! ♪ (store p.a.) attention shoppers, there's a lost couple in the men's department. (vo) there's a great big un-khaki world out there. explore it in a subaru crosstrek. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. turn to roc® retinol correxion®. one week, fine lines appear to fade. one month, deep wrinkles look smoother. after one year, skin looks ageless.

high performance skincare™ only from roc®. after one year, skin looks ageless. can this much love be cleanedrlin' by a little bit of dawn ultra? oh yeah. one bottle has the grease cleaning power of two bottles of this bargain brand. a drop of dawn and grease is gone. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

>> with your host, a wench, a wife, and the traveling boots black. >> i'm your host, evelyn quinn. tonight's tale is an adventure of elastic boots. the life of a boot black. ful traveling from village to village and manor to manor. so boring, so lonely. don't you believe it. not when two voluptuous ladies are coming to call. they are invited to watch.

>> 4:24 and a couple apiece. fine leg of mutt on would be nice. >> i got this for you, boot black. they are in need of a shine. >> wait, wait. i will have this done for you. >> all right, but do nothing to arouse me because i am a bench and my they may not. she will find us and give it to me. >> her mind seems to be on his work and who can blame her. there is nothing like the boots. indeed. >> the scent is intoxicating.

>> it's all intoxicating. your lips and your ample bosom. >> oh, no, my mistress. here underneath. >> at last. the only man who can shine my husband to a mirror-like finish.

i must see the powerful arms and legs. remove your shirt. >> the lady is smart. there is a chill. >> remove it! polish it for me. faster! faster! >> what you must think of me.

i have been so naughty. i don't care. i like it. this is hilariously precarious. why is there a single word for it? >> stop. i can take it no longer. >> i see that the master's footwear is not the only thing. you know what i mean. so close to being in herself.

lady! how much better to resolve this through understanding. let's just have three-way sex. >> my delicious cat fight through fornication. where is the danger? forget him. just forget him. join me next week for the especially rippled tale in the her em ofand i can't wait. until then, goodbye, everybody,

goodbye.

>> ladies and gentlemen, aerosmith! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ the whole world's come undone ♪ ♪ looking straight at the sun ♪ what did her daddy do

♪ what did he put you through ♪ they say when janie was arrested they found him hiding in a shed ♪ ♪ but man he had it coming now that janie's got a gun she ain't never going to be the same ♪ ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ the whole world's come undone ♪ ♪ everybody is on the run ♪ tell me now it's untrue ♪ what did her daddy do ♪ he got a little bitty baby, the man has got to be insane ♪

♪ the spell that he was under, the lightning and the thunder ♪ ♪ knew that somebody had to stop him ♪ ♪ run away, run away from the pain ♪ ♪ run away, run away from the pain ♪ ♪ run away, run away, run, run away ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ janie's got a gun ♪ ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ it's just begun ♪ now everybody is on the run ♪ what did her daddy do ♪ it's janie's last iou ♪ he had to take him down easy and put a bullet in his brain ♪ ♪ he said nobody believes me, the man is such a sleaze, he ain't ever going to be the

same ♪ ♪ run away, run away from the pain ♪ ♪ run away, run away from the pain ♪ ♪ run away, run away, run, run away ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ ♪ janie's got a gun. janie's got a gun ♪ ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ everybody is on the run ♪ janie's got a gun ♪ it ain't right

♪ janie's got a gun. janie's got a gun. janie's got a gun. janie's got a gun. ♪ [ applause ]

>> oh, yes. yes indeed. and you said it. nothing but lonely old babes. living on companionship. >> doi believe we have found the right angle. >> well, well. >> let the games commence. hello.

>> and goodbye. >> not lonely enough. you said it. still, i've got to like our chances. >> i do agree. the ladies out number the men, 3-1. we are competing against guys with scant control. >> you should talk amigo. >> whoa. this one is mine. welcome aboard. and bon voyage. >> oh, yes. granny no liky. >> too true. >> yep, it's double chin to care less. >> too bad she could have taught

us so much in the ways of love. >> then again, we are a blank plate. >> you said it. any information would be most appreciated. >> what have we here? >> oh, yes, a frosty delight. hello! wow. how repulsive we must be. she couldn't even make us out and they told us of inadequacies. you know it. even in hazy focus, this nose of mine is a frightening vision. these close set eyes added spice to that. >> this continued rejection or the thought of actually scoring

with women this old. >> i thought we agreed we were not going to think about that. oh, yes. a blue haired beauty. >> the pleasure is all mine. so is the pain. you thinking what i'm thinking? >> you know it. >> rock bottom. >> noplace to go but up. >> unless we stay right here. we are in hell.

once again, aerosmith! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ whoa is me ♪ got to get that monkey off my back ♪ ♪ uh, uh, uh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪

♪ the fortune teller looked into my eyeballs the wrinkles on her face about to crack ♪ ♪ you best believe it you ain't goin' nowhere she said ♪ ♪ unless you get that monkey off your back ♪ ♪ i made believe the devil made me do it i was the evil leader of the pack ♪ ♪ you best believe i had it all

and then i blew it uh-huh ♪ ♪ feedin' that monkey on my back ♪ ♪ ♪ if you put it in a spoon man i would boot it some king whose mental house was just a shack ♪ ♪ where do you draw the line when all your friends are dyin' you got to get that monkey off your back ♪ ♪ uh, uh, uh, uh, uh ♪ ♪ better believe it i pray that you will ♪

♪ she said now i bring me home his head inside a sack ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ you best believe i'm hanging on and then i do it ♪ ♪ uh, uh, uh, uh got to get that monkey off my back ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

i want to thank aerosmith. i want to thank you all. i want to thank bernie nicholls. [ cheers ] i love you, baby! good night! it was a great show. he shoots, he scores! ♪ right now at 11. president

obama getting some bay >> i love you, san francisco, let's get to work. >> right now at 11:00, president obama getting bay area love. the commander in chief and kanye west together in san francisco. his advice for kanye. >> thank you very much for joining us. >> gone in a flash, president obama spends less than 24 hours in the bay area, but his schedule was ed