a 3:00 a.m. knock at my door. they said, "your dad's been shot and he's been killed. i screamed. the scariest thing that you will ever go through! my whole world crumbled. >> reporter: cara was the kind of teacher that students just love -- >> she was rock star at her school. >> reporter: with the same man for twenty years, enjoying life together by the beach. >> the balcony was like our second living room, you can hear the waves on the shore. >> reporter: but she was all alone that night: when, she says, an intruder burst into her bedroom: >> i was scared to death. i didn't have any other choice. >> you shot him? >> i shot him. >> reporter: she said the man attacked her >> he told me he was gonna kill me. >> she'd been assaulted.

she defended herself. >> reporter: so why did others call it murder? >> my very first words were, she set him up. >> reporter: cara's account, kept changing -- >> it hit me just how different all of these stories were and how unbelievable they were. >> lies. it's all lies. >> reporter: what really made cara pull that trigger? >> the rug was pulled out from underneath her. she was shocked. >> reporter: and she was angry? >> yes. >> reporter: a jury would have to decide -- >> i did what i did because i had to not because i wanted to! >> reporter: in this story, the killer was never in doubt. it was motive, that was the mystery. i'm lester holt and this is dateline. here's keith morrison. with a shot in the dark. reporter: it was night when it happened. indian rocks beach, gulf coast of florida. two blocks from the water. 10:05pm. quiet at that hour, save for the

odd passing car and snatches of neighborhood chatter, carried on a cooling ocean breeze. there was a moon, almost full. cara ryan was in bed. all alone, in a small darkened room. and then, fear, searing as a heart attack, the dogs. >> they were growling. that's one of the things that made me feel so -- scared. >> reporter: someone was coming into her house. >> the door crashed open. >> reporter: you said the lights were off. >> they were. >> reporter: was it so dark you couldn't actually make out who this person was? >> it happened so fast, and i was so afraid. >> reporter: she reached to the bedside table, opened the drawer, took out the gun. the one her ex-husband had given her. trained her how to use. aim for the mass, he'd always told her. aim for the chest. she heard the approaching footsteps from the front door to the bedroom. how many steps? >> like, 20. >> reporter: and then the shape in the bedroom doorway. the hand reaching toward the

bed, reaching for her. so close. she closed her eyes. she pulled the trigger. >> reporter: was the shot fired a warning just, "stay out of my bedroom"? >> i was aiming for whoever it was. that's what i was taught. you don't fire a warning shot. >> cara called 911. >> you shot him? >> i shot him. >> with a gun? >> my gun >> okay >> reporter: cara gripped the gun for dear life, terrified the man would come back. >> you still have the gun? >> yes, i do >> okay ma'am i'm getting help on the way. okay when did this happen? >> just now. i was afraid. i was scared. i didn't have any other choice. you fire the gun. when you pick up a gun -- >> reporter: if he's coming at you, yeah. >> and he came into that room. >> reporter: so as he's coming in the room -- what, did he say anything? >> no. >> reporter: just was sort of coming in the room -- >> right. >> is he still there? >> i don't know. i think he went over to the

neighbor's >> okay is your door locked? >> no. >> okay. >> i'm too scared to get up. >> reporter: in fact, the man had run from her house, and collapsed on the next door neighbor's doorstep. was lying there, bleeding. the neighbor dialed 911 too. >> he doesn't look very good. he's bleeding pretty bad. >> i understand. >> reporter: the neighbor was petrified, afraid of more gunfire, refused to open his door. >> i'm afraid to go outside. he's outside on my deck. >> and you don't feel comfortable going outside and grabbing him >> no, no. >> i under, i completely understand. >> reporter: peering out his window, the neighbor described the man's injuries. >> where is he bleeding from? >> uh all i can see the way he's lying is his arm. >> reporter: and yes, it didn't look good. >> okay but i do have the police already on the way. is he awake right now? >> uh doesn't look like it. >> okay is he breathing? >> yeah. >> reporter: the first police cars arrived quickly, within a couple of minutes. >> i know you're scared cara but the police are there and they're going to protect you, but i need you to go to them.

>> reporter: the 911 operator told cara go outside to meet them, but leave the gun in the house. so she did. she put the gun down. but then, what was this? video from a deputy's dashcam shows it -- they told her, put your hands up. and then, out on the street, they ordered her down on the ground, handcuffed her, put her in the back of a patrol car. >> what was it like out in the police car when they took you out there? did you-- did you believe that they thought you were a victim or a perpetrator? >> i think when i was greeted by a woman with a rifle and three other deputies with their guns drawn, was ordered to my knees, and handcuffed, and put in the back i felt like-- i didn't really know what was going on. >> reporter: a night of terror and a victim who suddenly felt accused. but is that really what happened? no simple tale, this is, no. the question that greeted officers of the pinellas county sheriff's office, was not simple at all.

maybe cara ryan was a victim who defended herself. and maybe she was something else altogether. >> what i'm asking you for is consent for us to go in there. okay? obviously it's a crime scene right now. >> reporter: what really happened in this little house by the beach, in paradise? cara was about to tell her story in greater detail. it would only raise more questions. when we come back. >> i thought maybe i had grazed him. i said why is the balance leaving and they said he doesn't need an wlabalance. and i thought oh now he's really going to be mad. >> wait, did cara know the man she shot? who was she talking about?

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reporter: cara ryan squirmed in the back seat of the police car. not arrested, but confined. strangely the police hadn't taken her cell phone. she struggled to get to it, was able to make a call or two. as she wrestled with the handcuffs behind her. and wondered why she, of all people, was in this predicament. >> it was bizarre, surreal. it's still as if it didn't happen. >> reporter: it seemed so safe here, so perfect. two blocks from powdery white beaches.

truly a paradise. >> i love the beach. and when i found the house, it just took one second to look down the road and see the gulf, and the other way to see the intracoastal, and i knew i had found my home. >> reporter: she shared this lovely place with john joseph rush. j.j. evenings on the balcony. sipping drinks, inhaling the salty ocean air. >> the balcony was like our second living room, sometimes we lit a fire out there and enjoyed the nights out there where you can hear the waves on the shore. >> reporter: jj was the sort of guy any woman could love. 20 years, they were together. and he wanted to please you. >> and he wanted to please me. yes. and he was a great friend. he loved his friends. he loved his daughter. he was very loving. he was very generous, very kind. >> reporter: but now cara was in a police car, no jj to protect her. what a strange place for a law abiding middle class person to find herself. a high school journalism

teacher, for heaven's sake. >> i loved it. >> reporter: what'd you love about it? >> the kids. they can be very brilliant, and that's one of the best things about teaching. close your classroom and there's no adults. >> reporter: fellow teacher debbie rein. >> she, she was a rock star at her school. >> reporter: then one day, more than two decades ago, a st petersburg police officer helped with a class project and they both realized they had known each other since they were kids. that was jj rush. >> and we spent that whole night just getting to know each other again. >> reporter: and a couple of years later they married. jj's daughter from his first marriage, meghan, was their flower girl. >> she was icing on the cake. i was so happy to have a man who had a little girl. >> reporter: it can be complicated, you know, and -- >> it wasn't always easy. but i loved her like my own. >> reporter: but into every

life, a little rain. eight years into marriage there was a bump. a big one. >> i had an affair. >> reporter: with the principal at her school. that's when cara and jj separated and later divorced. >> he blamed himself for my affair and for our breakup. for the year that we were separated and the year that we were divorced he pursued me relentlessly. >> reporter: blames himself? why? >> for not being there. for being out in the bar drinking or wherever he was. >> reporter: and was your -- >> and leaving me to keep the home fires burning. >> reporter: but they weren't apart for long. about a year after the divorce they had a chance encounter on the beach. >> i had just broken up with somebody. and i said, "you know, god, if i'm going to find a nice man he's going to be on the beach with a dog." and i look over and there's his dog and his daughter, and i thought, "god, you know, that's

not really funny." >> reporter: j.j. must have been happy to see her. two days later, she was surprised to find him in her driveway. >> and i said, "what are you doing here?" and he said, "i think we should get back together." and that was it. we got back together. >> reporter: they never remarried, but once back together they called each other husband and wife, they wore wedding rings, and they shared bank accounts. wasn't perfect, of course. what life is? after 17 years on the force, a serious car accident left jj in too much pain to work on patrol. so he retired and became an investigator for the medical examiner's office. but things change. their relationship was not like the old days anymore. then finally, jj told cara he was moving out for good. it was the day after valentine's day 2015. >> that was a surprise. he had just turned 45. and he woke up one day and he said, "i need some space. i need to find myself."

and i thought, "what the" >> reporter: just came out of the blue? >> out of the blue. i thought, "what the heck is going on?" >> reporter: did you think he was -- i mean, an affair or something? >> i suspected. >> reporter: in fact, j.j. had met someone. a police sergeant named lonnie lancto. they'd been friends for years, but became closer when j.j.'s relationship with cara seemed, to him anyway, to hit a dead end. how was he feeling about all this? >> he was nervous about how she was going to react. he knew that she'd be upset and angry and -- but at the same time, he was so excited. >> reporter: anyway, cara seemed to be moving on, too. with another police officer. a steamy relationship. march, 2015, three weeks after j.j. moved out is when it happened. the night of panic and terror. and now cara was sitting in a police car. what was she thinking? here's what she told us. she was wondering she said why

was it taking so long for paramedics to treat the intruder she shot. >> i thought maybe i had grazed him. and when i got into the cruiser i said, "what's going on? why didn't -- why isn't the ambulance leaving?" and deputy vaughn said, "he doesn't need an ambulance." then i thought, "oh, now he's really going to be mad. now i'm really in trouble." >> reporter: what do you mean, "now he's really going to be mad?" >> well, i had fired a gun and called 911 he could've lost his job. >> reporter: lose his job? he's going to be mad? oh yes. cara ryan knew who her intruder was. knew him very well indeed. coming up, cara shares an eyebrow raising new detail about what happened in her bedroom. >> it was mortifying. >> what she claims set the intruder off. >> that's when he became violent.

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reporter: it was a full blown crime scene now on this tiny street in indian rocks beach. the street lit up with flashing lights, police lines drawn, crime scene investigators and detectives arriving. >> my name is john syers, okay. i'm with the sheriff's office. >> reporter: lead detective john syers and his partner a.j. scarpati introduced themselves. asked cara, who did she shoot? did she know him? without hesitation she said -- >> my ex-husband. >> who do you -- >> jay. >> i'm sorry. what do you call him? >> jay. >> jay? >> j.j. >> okay. >> it's j.j. rush. i call him jay. >> reporter: that's right, her ex-husband, j.j. rush. small world. detective syers knew j.j. had run into him at crime scenes. jj was a medical examiners investigator. but why would cara shoot him? her answer was right there in

the 911 call. >> my ex-husband came in and he raped me. >> he raped you? >> i shot him >> reporter: rape? but, that's all she said on the topic. until about two hours later, when she told a deputy she needed medical attention. >> i need to see a doctor. i've been hurt. >> reporter: it was detective syers' job to sort through it all, and he began by showing cara a bit of kindness. >> i went over and took the handcuffs off of her. >> she must have seemed pretty upset. she just shot her ex-husband? >> not unduly. >> really? >> no. >> reporter: mind you, according to cara, as she sat here in the car she didn't know how badly hurt j.j. was. >> so you thought he was alive still? >> absolutely. >> reporter: in fact, j.j. died rather quickly. a fate that had a certain irony. it was he who gave cara the gun; taught her how to shoot-to-kill, in case the occasion ever arose. was this an appropriate occasion?

detective syers, charged with finding out, understood he had a problem. learned that from the deputy who put cara in his car. >> we were told that she had used her telephone. >> reporter: that is, her cellphone, the one they failed to take away. big mistake. who did she call? what did she say? syers knew the patrol car was equipped with a camera and microphone to record any conversations. so -- >> i naturally asked, "was this recorded?" and i was told, "no, it wasn't." >> reporter: there was video, just no audio. for the first hour and a half, cara was in that patrol car. deputy forgot to turn it on. mistake number two. a rather important one, as it would turn out. >> reporter: anyway, they kept her in the car for almost three hours as they gathered evidence. a deputy finally took her to police headquarters, where the detectives made arrangements for an examination at a rape crisis center. later, they looked at the tapes of cara, recorded during that

drive to the station. >> did she appear to be emotionally battered or anything? >> i mean if you watch the in car camera, she's just kinda casually talking with him about being in the law enforcement community and knowing different people. >> yaz was, um, on my husband's softball team. >> it was just kinda, you know, general conversation. she didn't seem so upset in that video. >> reporter: it was around 2:00 a.m. at police headquarters, when cara revealed why jj was at her place that night even though he'd left her, moved out, three weeks earlier. it was quite a story. remember, cara met a new man after the breakup with jj. also a sheriff's deputy, his name was scott. scott holderbaum. >> for a week or so you were seeing this guy. you were having some, it was fun. >> it was fun. i was giddy. i was like a school kid, and i -- my teacher in the room next to me -- i'd run over there and say, "he just texted me. what do i say? i hadn't really been on a date in 20 years.

>> reporter: the day of the shooting, cara texted scott a very explicit text, complete with intimate selfie, inviting him to come over for a tryst. >> so embarrassing. i had never sent suggestive text messages, let alone body parts, it was mortifying. i'd be sad if it wasn't so tragic. but it is tragic. >> so -- but he couldn't come? is that what happened? >> oh, scott was at work he worked from 7:00 at night to 7:00 in the morning. >> reporter: so, she said, she sent the very same x-rated selfie and a similiar invitation to j.j. and jj, though he was seeing someone else, came right over. >> would he have thought of it as break up sex? like, you know, maybe -- >> sure. >> one last go round. >> yeah, we're all nostalgic. there's a country song "we don't have to be lonely tonight." you know, and then tomorrow we'll go our separate ways. >> reporter: cara told detectives that as she and j.j. were in bed together, her phone

kept beeping. incoming text messages. >> chirp chirp. >> yeah. so i ignored it. >> reporter: it was scott. >> and it went off again. and i told him, "just ignore it. just ignore it." and he leaned over, and he grabbed the phone, and he opened it, and he said, "who the hell is scott holderbaum?" >> reporter: that, cara told police, is when j.j. saw she'd sent the same picture, the same invitation to both of them. >> so he saw, kinda like, the text message conversation or whatever you call it? >> he saw a photograph i don't know. >> and that's when he became violent. he was angry. he assaulted me, told me he was gonna kill me, told me he was gonna kill scott. >> said that at the time he saw this stuff? >> "you'll both be dead by the morning light. you're an effing whore." and he was just furious. >> you say he assaulted you.

what, he raped you? >> he did things against my will. yes. >> reporter: then, cara told the detectives, j.j. dressed and drove off, and she called him six times, to try to get him to calm down. >> i called him right away and i told him how sorry i was, and how it's not serious with scott, and that i was gonna call it off. >> reporter: and a few minutes later, when he came storming back into the house, cara said she knew exactly who it was. >> i heard him come through the door, and he told me he was gonna kill me, or he was gonna make it to where nobody would ever want me again. and he came in the room and that's when i grabbed the gun. >> reporter: a story which, as you'll see, would be rather important later. after they heard it, the detectives sent cara to the rape crisis center. but the results there? only raised more questions. and something she said, while there, would have them wondering,was cara a rape victim

or a woman scorned? whose fury ended in murder? coming up, cara changes her story claiming she didn't know it was j.j. coming into her house. >> you with with this guy 20 years and you didn't recognize who it was coming through the door? whatever your destination, there's a million beautiful, ever-changing ways to get us there.

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reporter: it was the middle of the night when j.j. rush's daughter, meghan, was awakened from a deep sleep. >> 3:00 a.m. knock at my door from the detectives. >> what's that like? >> the scariest thing that you will ever go through -- and they said, your dad's been shot and

he's been killed. i said -- i screamed, obviously, and it was terror and loss. it's not something any 21-year-old wants to hear at 3:00 in the morning. >> reporter: meghan was not the only one assaulted with the news in the night. >> i was called that night. >> reporter: and in lonnie lancto's case, a particular remorse -- a regret for a lifetime. lonnie was recovering from surgery just then, and earlier that day j.j. called, offered his company, his help. and she said thanks but no, she was going to sleep. >> you must have gone over that in your mind a million times. >> i live with it every day. i take comfort in the fact that the last words we had to each other were, i love you, and i love you more. those weren't the last words that they had with each other. i guarantee you that. >> reporter: she means j.j. and cara, of course.

so, why did he go to her, and what happened? around 6 a.m., cara returned to the pinellas county sherrif's office from the rape crisis center. she was put in an interview room while detectives reviewed the rape report. it was not conclusive. >> did they find, you know, any of the classic symptoms of a violent sexual assault? >> none were notated, no. >> reporter: however, the report did note bruising on cara's hip. >> was it possible to determine how that bruising got to be there? >> that original nurse thought that that bruising might of been from the incident of the night. when it was examined later by another doctor they determined that the bruising was days older. >> she said that he held her wrists while he sexually assaulted her and therefore left

marks. >> the examination didn't notate anything with her wrists. mind you, photos, as you can see, did show a red mark, but the detectives said that was most likely from the handcuffs which she twisted around as she tried to make cell phone calls,or maybe she got those marks having sex with her new boyfriend. cara told them it was pretty wild sex that i haven't even thought about since college. >> reporter: the detectives looked at text messages between cara and her new boyfriend sent a few days earlier. >> well they had text messages back and forth >> tie me up. tie me down, and they talked about putting certain type of lotion on bite marks or bruises, and they talked about handcuffs. >> the injuries on your wrists, the text from him. he said he would bring over handcuffs again and again leave some marks. >> i said, are you bringing your handcuffs? >> well, and he said, get prepared to have some more bruises. >> marks of passion i think he said. yeah. >> do you like marks of passion? >> i like passionate sex. >> reporter: so what did cara think about the rape crisis

center's inconclusive report? >> they did a rape kit and they didn't find any evidence of rape. >> yes, they did. they did. it showed -- well, it showed sexual contact. >> uh-huh. >> didn't show there wasn't a rape. >> reporter: while cara was at the rape crisis center, the detectives received new information from the crime scene. such as -- first responders believed the house lights had pretty much all been on when whatever happened happened. remember cara said it was dark in the house, but -- >> once we gathered a little bit more evidence from the detectives working the crime scene then we did get definitely more pointed in our question, and more direct. >> reporter: and then something odd happened. cara changed her story. remember, she told 911, my ex-husband raped me. i shot him. >> breaking into your home. >> reporter: but now? now she said she didn't know who was coming into the house. >> somebody was in my home, whether it was jay or jack the ripper. i was scared.

somebody came in the house unannounced. >> coulda been j.j. or it could have been jack the ripper? really? i mean, did -- what did you think of that? >> she thought her story, you know, needed to be embellished. >> i'm gonna ask you very, very bluntly and very honestly. okay? >> okay. >> did the rape occur? >> it did. >> let me ask you this point blank. did you know that was john coming through the door, and did you shoot him purposely? >> no, i did not. i would not shoot john purposely. >> but you shot that person purposely, correct? >> in that moment. i was scared. >> you were scared, why? >> i had an emotional night. i didn't know what was happening, and you know what? i just -- i wish i'd never gotten that gun. >> talking with us, she defended

this second story, that she didn't know who the intruder was, and assumed it could be a stranger. >> you were in the middle of a big fight. >> he wouldn't have come -- >> a break up fight. >> he wouldn't have come back. >> he's coming back around to talk to you. he wants to clear some things up. >> he would've said that on the phone. >> so as he's coming in the room -- what -- did he say anything? >> no. >> just was sort of coming in the room -- >> right. >> and you shot him, but you saw who it was? >> didn't see who it was, and i was so scared -- >> hang on a second. >> and nervous. >> just -- just a moment. you were with this guy night and day, in bed, intimate, hearing all his grunts, listening to the way he walks -- >> right. >> for 20 years. >> right. >> and you say you didn't recognize who it was coming through the door? >> no. i was scared out of my mind. >> reporter: cara said it was only when she heard j.j.'s voice that she knew who it was. >> what happened right after you shot him? >> that's when i heard him say, oh --.

so that's when i figured it was him. >> reporter: so which was it? my ex-husband raped me, i shot him, or i shot a stranger, or was it a third version of events, this one filled with stories about j.j. >> he had a dark side. >> reporter: yes. cara had a lot to say about her recently departed ex, but was it true? but was it true? coming up, cara calls one behavior of j.j.'s disturbing and downright compulsive. >> there were days he could go from sun down to sun up. >> why some say j.j. was spinning out of control. >> there's no way to predict where the spiral would end. either a danger to himself or someone else. when dateline continues.

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...just know that... you can, in portland. reporter: j.j. rush was dead. his ex-wife cara ryan killed him.

in self-defense, she said. and now she set about telling the detectives about the real j.j. same thing she told us. not a pretty picture, she said. >> right after we got married -- the compulsive gambling became the big issue. and there were days where he could go from sundown to sunup. >> reporter: cara was a school teacher, remember. and one day, she said, she got a nasty letter from the florida department of education. >> the state was going to pull my teaching certificate 'cause he hadn't paid my student loans. >> reporter: he paid the bills in the early days of their marriage she said. >> so i started looking at accounts thinking, "what's going on here?" i don't understand. >> reporter: "what was going on," said cara, was they were broke. >> i felt really betrayed and lied to, and hurt. >> reporter: so, she said, she laid down the law. took over the financial stuff. and told j.j. he had to get help for his gambling addiction.

>> but, you know, a gambling addiction, it's probably as hard or harder to kick than smoking, or drinking or -- >> it's very hard. but i loved him. i made vows. i made a commitment. so, as long as he was willing to go to gamblers anonymous, then i was willing to support him. and we went to marriage counseling. that helped. >> reporter: cara told detectives that for five years j.j. didn't gamble at all and they were happy. but -- >> you know, i always worried that the gambling would come back up and financial situations would happen again. >> reporter: and then in 2004, j.j. had that that bad crash in his police car. >> when we got there very shortly thereafter he had an actual, like, a hole in the top of his head. >> reporter: bob jones, is a former st. petersburg police officer and j.j.'s good friend. >> his knees and feet and everything else got hung up around the steering wheel. and from that point on multiple back problems, multiple back surgeries. >> reporter: and that, said cara, is when --

>> he started drinking heavily, all day, every day. >> reporter: at home recovering? >> yes. >> reporter: depressed. >> depressed, yeah. >> reporter: he recovered, eventually, she said, and took that job as an investigator at the medical examiners office. but he was in pain most of the time. >> he kept drinking. and that's when he started using the oxycodone for the knee pain. >> reporter: sure. that was prescribed, right? >> yes. but it became chronic. and he was unpredictable when he was on it and off it. >> reporter: cara told detectives j.j. liked his work with the medical examiners office, but the horrific crime scenes he witnessed took their toll. so much so he developed ptsd. >> one example, the last one -- a man threw his 7-year-old girl off a bridge. and that was his case. i know it was emotionally tearing him apart. >> reporter: the day before cara shot him, j.j. went to a therapist, a man named bob

greene. he had also been their marriage counselor. and so, of course, the police talked to mr. greene. and he told them that day, j.j. was in tears. >> he was spiraling out of control. there is no way to predict in that situation where the spiral would end. either a danger to himself or somebody else. >> reporter: where the sort of burdens of what he did for a living and that his situation in life had become too big for him? >> yes. >> i think a part of him didn't wanna be in this world anymore. >> reporter: but he was supposedly kind of happy. >> that was the face he put on. >> reporter: you don't believe that? >> i know he wasn't happy. anti-depressants, and the drinking, and the oxy, and the physical pain, and the mental pain, the post-traumatic stress disorder. he was struggling. >> reporter: the therapist, green, went even further when he offered police a remarkable theory -- that j.j. knew if he barged in on cara unannounced, she would shoot.

and shoot to kill. >> my opinion has always been that it was a suicide. >> reporter: well, how could it possibly be a suicide? >> because he had trained cara that if someone comes through the front door unannounced -- you pick up a gun, you close your eyes and you shoot. >> reporter: to a lotta people it would seem a stretch. >> he had not announced he was coming over. someone came through the front door and she did as she was trained to do. >> reporter: detectives weren't buying green's idea. >> it's kind of a ridiculous theory. >> reporter: so, cara's version? that without her to help him, j.j. was depressed, suffering from ptsd, a suicidal, gambling, alcohol and oxycodone addicted man, who, in the days after he left her, fell off all of his wagons. and fell into a rage when he saw she had a new love. the detectives were skeptical. >> when it comes to being derogatory towards j.j. and she has all the specifics we need,

but when it comes to explaining the rape or the attack, then things become very fuzzy. she folds up into the corner, starts hiding her face, just a different persona altogether. >> reporter: so what was the truth about j.j.? >> she was happier than he's been ever, that i can remember. and all of his friends will tell you the same thing. >> reporter: who was right? and what did it say about the events in this little seaside bedroom? coming up, a very different picture emerges of j.j. as a man very much under cara's thumb. >> he was very controlled. he couldn't go out to lunch without bridging home a receipt. >> a man ready to make a change. >> he was dead set on not being with her anymore. he was done. lk and fresh cream,

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reporter: detectives listened closely to cara ryan, and her stories about j.j.'s problems. depression, gambling, drinking, pain killers. a man, so out of control he raped her in a rage before she shot him. >> and then he came back through the door. i thought he was gonna kill me. >> reporter: was it true? >> never in his life. never in his life. >> reporter: lonnie lancto had known cara and j.j. for years, before she and j.j. fell in love. did she have a reasonable argument that maybe she thought she was defending her life? >> not at all. he wasn't a violent person. she has -- she has no other defense but to tell you that. >> reporter: private lives, as we all know, can hide cesspools of stories best left untold. but, no secrets in a murder investigation.

the detectives had to know, what was the nature of cara and jj's 20 year relationship? for example, that chance meeting on the beach years earlier when they were divorced. cara said it just happened. the detectives said she made it happen, tracking him down to an out of the way beach. >> she actually told us you know, "i'm" -- "i'm" -- "i'm walking on this beach that's nowhere near my house," and i say, the next man i walk into" -- "he" -- "he's gonna be it." >> reporter: he's the one? yeah. >> and it ends up being jj, you know, wasn't reasonable. >> maybe in the movies, i guess that might happen. >> reporter: calculating, said the detectives. and, in keeping. >> a lot of the -- description to us -- of -- of their relationship was she was more controlling. >> reporter: and, especially, without exception. >> she controlled the money. >> reporter: when j.j. retired from the police department, he collected a pension as well as his salary at the medical examiner's office. but he never saw any of the money. both checks went directly into a bank account controlled only by

cara. >> all he did was deposit his checks. he couldn't tell you how much they even were. he was very controlled. he couldn't go out to lunch without bringing home a receipt. >> reporter: if he wanted to help his daughter meghan, he had to ask cara. >> like, i once needed help with a deposit for my -- my phone, and he had to call, and have a conversation over $100, just to help me out. and -- so, he was like, "yeah, cara said, okay." and it was like -- okay -- thanks. >> reporter: meghan's mom, and j.j.'s first wife, sherry tribby, said it was always like that with cara. >> once when meghan was in elementary school -- i didn't have the money to buy her shoes. so, i asked john to help me, and he was reluctant -- reluctant at first, and then he -- he finally helped me, but when he did he said, "don't tell cara." >> reporter: but cara said, she had her reasons. >> he couldn't have his own bank

account. he couldn't have credit cards. he couldn't have an account with me off of it. >> reporter: that, she said, was because of his gambling addiction. but, addiction? j.j.'s family said he liked to go to the track and play cards, but he was far from addicted. if he went out somewhere with somebody and bought something, i mean, would you need to see a receipt? >> he wanted to give me the receipts. he wanted it to be where i didn't have to worry. >> reporter: okay. >> he didn't want me to look over his shoulder. so he put his receipts on the counter for me. >> reporter: secrets. to the world outside the family, cara was, as she herself said, a loving stepmother to j.j.'s daughter meghan. she felt like you were very close. she regarded you as her own. >> i'm sure she did. >> reporter: why would you put it that way? >> she wanted to put that scene

out for everybody. that -- we had a perfect relationship. i never really felt like she liked me or wanted me there. so, being with somebody who makes you feel so unwanted and unloved, it's -- it was tough. >> reporter: it got to be easier to meet her father in secret, said "meghan, avoid the tension with cara." but, issues will barge in, like it or not. like the time meghan wanted to apply for a job as a police dispatcher, and felt she needed a new dress for the interview. cara got wind of it. >> she said, "oh, well you'll never make it through that anyway." she wanted a dress for her interview and she could never ask him for that before because cara wouldn't allow the money to be spent. >> reporter: that's about the time j.j. started planning his exit. as he whispered to meghan. >> he was secretly -- opening up his new bank account. and he changed everything so that nothing was going into her account anymore. and then, the time that she started to notice was when he

was like, "okay, it's time to get out now." >> reporter: that sounds like somebody who has made a firm and final decision. >> he was dead set on not being with her anymore. he was done. and i was proud of him. >> reporter: so. he'd left her. taken up with another woman. cut off a substantial income. ended her ability to control him. sounded like a motive, said the detectives. >> the rug was pulled out from underneath her. she was -- she was shocked -- dismay. >> reporter: and she was angry? >> the shock turns to anger at some point. >> reporter: and there was j.j., apparently happy, getting his own place, his own car. had a girlfriend who loved him. bought his daughter that dress. >> i think it was the first moment of, like, being -- like, freedom, i guess, where he felt like i can -- i can actually do this. and when you give me the receipt, i can throw it away. >> reporter: did he succumb to

gambling, alcohol and pain killers after he left cara? no, said lonnie lancto. not even close. >> with john, none of those things existed. and he certainly had ample opportunity to drink to excess, to gamble to excess, to be angry, to be upset. and he -- >> reporter: he was free to do whatever he wanted now? >> yes, absolutely he was. >> reporter: we reminded lonnie of what cara and the therapist had told us. that he was in a downward spiral, getting worse and worse by the day. that he was actually suicidal. did you see any evidence of that? >> absolutely not. he was not suicidal. he was happier than he's been -- ever that i can remember. >> i was excited. and it was just like, cool you know? like, this is -- this is the dad that i want all the time. i got to see like, my real dad, and it was great. sorry. >> reporter: that's okay.

>> i've just never seen him so happy as he was. >> reporter: happy for the three weeks after he moved out, and then he was dead. what was a homicide detective to make of all that? jtsds colt. coming up, all starting theory of what happened the night of the shooting. >> my very first words was she set him up. it was a setup. >> when dateline continues. unt.

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cara ryan talked to those detectives all night long. admitted she shot j.j. rush, her más hambrera de cara y su >> the next door neighbor. they tell us j.j. said he was scared she would shoot him. >> the hunt for the truth takes a turn. >> we got a lip reader. >> once again, keith morrison. cara ryan talked to those detectives all night long. admitted she shot j.j. rush, her man of 20 years. but it wasn't until ten the next morning, as she was finishing up her last taped statement that detective syers gave her, the news they'd held back all night.

j.j. was dead. >> reporter: why wait so long? >> i believe she knew right away that he was dead, but yet, for the entire nine hours and 55 minutes that she was with us, she never once let on that -- you know -- >> reporter: never came up? >> that -- that she thought he was deceased, never asked how he was or anything. >> reporter: well, how did she react when you told her he was dead? >> no reaction. it was just a very flat, emotionless -- affect. >> reporter: in fact, remember those phone calls cara made from the police car when the camera didn't record audio? later, police retrieved a voice mail she left for a friend. in it, cara appears to know j.j. may be seriously hurt, and feared she was in deep trouble. >> jan, its cara. i need your help please call me, i think i hurt john. he was raping me and i shot him. the ambulance hasn't left. i'm scared. >> reporter: the day after police sent cara home, she

consulted an attorney named roger futerman, a british born, american educated lawyer who flies the union jack outside his clearwater, florida office. >> when i first heard the facts from miss ryan i didn't think they were gonna charge her. >> reporter: but, you know, from the defendant the facts are always a little different. >> i believed her. she seemed very believable. >> reporter: cara and her attorney waited to see what would come next. and meanwhile, detectives continued their investigation. one thing that struck them was the reaction of j.j.'s family and friends. daughter, meghan. >> i said, "was it her?" and they said, "was it who?" i said, "was it cara?" and they said, "yes." and my whole world crumbled. >> reporter: girlfriend, lonnie lancto. >> my very first words were, "it was a set up. she set him up." >> reporter: j.j.'s older brothers rick and bill rush. >> i told him to take the guns out of the house, 'cause that's how much i did not trust her. >> my first words were, "that bitch." right out of my mouth without even hesitation, because i knew

in my heart that this was not gonna be an accident. >> reporter: strong words. and then the detectives talked to the next door neighbor. >> the next door neighbor -- did tell us that j.j. said that he was scared she would shoot him. >> reporter: huh. "i'm gonna break up with her. i'm afraid she might shoot me," as -- either as a reaction to the breakup, or something of that sort? >> right. >> reporter: that was the day before j.j. moved out. >> the gun went off. i shot him. >> reporter: but there was one person's words, detectives kept going over, analyzing. it was cara ryan's own words. they listened carefully to the stories she told, and compared them. >> what they were, how they changed over time. and that was really when -- it kinda hit me just how different all of these stories were, and how unbelievable they were. >> reporter: there were, said the detectives, four main stories. the first, what she told 911 and

the first responding officers. >> my ex-husband came in and he raped me. >> okay when did this happen? >> just now. he came in and he raped me and i took my gun and i shot. >> reporter: shot him during or after he raped her? they asked her that as she sat in the patrol car. at this point the audio was turned on. >> he raped me. got on top of me and he held me down. at this point i had the gun. >> okay, and then what happened. >> and then i fired the gun. >> where was he? >> standing over me, on the bed. >> reporter: a second version emerged in the interview room. cara said j.j. raped her, and left. but when he came back she heard and recognized his voice threatening her before she shot him. >> and he told me that he was gonna kill me, but he was gonna wait for scott to get off work and he was gonna kill scott, or

he was gonna make it to where nobody would ever want me again. and he came in the room and that's when i grabbed the gun. >> what exactly did you do? >> um, as he came in the door -- i don't remember. i -- i just -- the gun went off, i shot him. >> reporter: then at the rape crisis center, another version implying an accidental shooting. cara quoted as saying, "he grabbed her, and the gun went off." >> reporter: now she is telling the rape counselor that they were struggling over the gun? what? during this alleged sexual attack? >> she's told me, you know, he raped her. she shot him -- but never said anything about him grabbing the gun or anything until she speaks with the rape counselor. >> reporter: finally, version number four. cara didn't really know who came barging into her house. she was simply scared and fired.

>> somebody was in my house that i didn't expect to be in it. >> but see how you're explaining this now to me? cara, you're telling me the condition he was in, what -- what jay had done, what -- what jay had threatened to do. but then it goes to "someone" was in my house. i -- i mean, it -- it can't be both. did you think this was jay or did you think this was a masked marauder breaking -- >> i thought -- >> into your home? >> i was going to die. >> what made you think that? >> somebody was in my home. whether it was jay or jack the ripper, i was scared. >> reporter: there were more variations. the door was locked, or it wasn't. j.j. would always call her before he came over, but this time didn't. the detectives counted them all up. cara's versions of what happened in this tiny bedroom. they got to ten -- ten different

stories. >> reporter: as you looked at those different stories, what did you think you were dealing with here? >> if you are in a situation that calls for self-defense, and if you lie about the circumstances, then that tells me that you weren't justified in what you were doing. otherwise why do you need to keep changin' the story? >> reporter: no question in their minds, said the detectives. cara murdered j.j. they arrested her. the sheriff made the announcement. >> so i believe this is a domestic related homicide and cara ryan was uh, acting out because she was losing control over him. >> when i watched the press conference, i was crying my eyes out. >> reporter: fellow teacher debbie rein didn't believe what they were saying about cara. >> "i believe in her." and so a couple people said to me, "really? you believe her?" i go, "yeah. why wouldn't i?" sad when, you know, people don't know the facts. >> reporter: cara was now in the hands of deputies at the county jail, charged with second degree

murder. she was facing a possible life sentence for killing j.j. rush. coming up, cara's defense em of barks on a surprising strategy. >> we got a lip reader. >> and a mock trial reveals what jurors might think of cara. >> i don't believe for one second that she was raped. ♪ ♪ la vie est belle la vie est belle the eau de parfum, lancôme customize your free 6-piece gift. available now, at macy's. [mom] now that the kids have this place is too big. [dad] we raised them from eggs.

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ms. ryan you're charged with murder in the 2nd degree. >> reporter: second degree murder, cara ryan was facing up to life in prison for shooting her ex husband jj rush. but even after hearing the charge, cara was convinced it would all go away. >> i thought it was ridiculous. i was waiting any day for them to realize they had no case. >> reporter: her attorney roger futerman said he too was surprised that cara was charged. >> i knew from minute one there was no motive. and there was no -- >> reporter: what do you mean there's no motive? >> i saw no motive in this case. >> reporter: come on. it's a breakup of marriage. that's when murders occur. >> i know. >> reporter: you know, the guy is taking his income away. he's walked out on her. >> uh-huh.

i -- i know -- >> reporter: you know, he's seeing another woman. >> but when i looked at everything i said, "they don't have a motive here. she loved this man. it's clear she loved this man. she didn't need the money. >> reporter: but now that she was charged, futerman first got cara out on bail. and then confronted what he knew was a very big problem. >> we knew the statements -- the sequence of some of the statements were an issue. >> reporter: so futerman did exactly what detectives had done, he scrutinized all those statements but he tried to figure out a defense. >> i hand-wrote all her statements on huge boards and every inconsistent statement was in red, and the consistents were in blue. and then the helpful were in green. >> reporter: futerman asked cara how to make sense of these color coded differences. >> i asked her, "you know, how on earth. do we get this? how do i get around this?" and she just said they're truthful without thinking, without planning. she said, "they're all true. i just got some of the sequences

wrong." so okay. >> reporter: that, said futerman, is because cara was in shock and had been questioned on and off for nearly ten hours. >> it's certainly a very logical explanation for some inconsistencies in this sequence of events. >> reporter: still so many stories. maybe, thought futerman, he could find a way to reduce the number of cara's stories a future jury would hear. remember that deputy who failed to record audio when cara was in the police car? the deputy said that's when he read cara her miranda warning. her right to remain silent and have an attorney. but did he? >> there is absolutely zero doubt in my mind that miranda was never read. >> reporter: and if cara wasn't read her rights, then that statement would be thrown out. a jury would never hear it. so there was a hearing. the prosecutor questioned the deputy. >> did you read her miranda warning? >> i did.

>> how long had she been in the patrol car when you did that? >> about 15 minutes. >> reporter: and here's how the deputy said cara responded. >> her comment was, "yes, i understand. >> reporter: but cara swore that never happened. >> absolutely not. >> reporter: who was right? that's when futerman got a big idea. >> we got a lip reader. >> reporter: you got a lip reader? >> we got a lip reader. i was looking at this video. and i started thinking. i said, "if he so-called read miranda, even though the sound's not on, if we get a lip reader we're going to be able to tell if she answered like he explained that she answered." >> reporter: and if she didn't maybe futerman could prevent a jury from hearing that first conflicting story. >> does it surprise people when they find out how well you can read lips? >> yes. >> reporter: and here she is. lucinda hebbler, who is deaf, is the lip reader hired by attorney futerman.

had you ever heard such a request before? >> it was the first time in my whole life. >> reporter: the video was very grainy hard to decipher. but lucinda told futerman she would try. what were you looking for her to say? >> i was specifically looking for, "yes, i understand my rights." i see no evidence of her saying those words. >> reporter: right. but then? a judge's ruling meant it suddenly didn't matter what lucinda saw or didn't see. a miranda warning, said the judge, wasn't necessary at that point. >> you have the right to remain silent. >> reporter: and in fact cara had been read her rights later at the at the police station. so the jury would get to hear cara's first conflicting statement. futerman was deflated. somehow he was sure lucinda had to be good for his case. but he also knew that judge's ruling was a problem. so futerman switched gears and planned for his strategy to pick

a jury. >> we anticipated that women would be favorable to someone who'd have been raped. >> reporter: he decided to do a dry run, enlisted mock juries composed of men and women to test their reactons, not just to the evidence, but to cara herself. it's rare to witness the workings of a mock trial. they're usually confidential. >> and i saw the figure come through the doorway. >> reporter: but this is the actual audio as cara testified for the mock jurors. >> and that's when i -- i reached for the gun. >> when you shot did you know who you shot? >> no, not until i heard his voice -- >> reporter: futerman acted as prosecutor. the questioning was withering. >> so now we have three different stories within a couple of hours period. and your explanation for that is what? >> i was stunned. i was shocked. i was an emotional wreck. >> reporter: that should go down well with female jurors, thought futerman. and? >> i was dead wrong. >> reporter: here's what the

mock jurors told futerman. while some women gave the answer he expected. >> i found her not guilty, she was already in fear for her life. >> reporter: most found her guilty as sin. >> i don't believe for one second that she was raped. >> i felt like she had no emotion or remorse in what she did for someone she cared about for 20 years. >> reporter: as for the men, the result was practically reversed. >> the facts of the case are that someone broke into the home, and they were afraid and they shot him. >> reporter: was futerman and his co-counsel surprised? you bet they were. time to rethink strategy for the real trial. >> every case is winnable. and every case has pros and cons. >> reporter: cara's case winnable? well that remained to be seen. coming up, at trial,

testimony that j.j. had recently cut his financial ties to cara and there was going to be hell to pay. the week he died, i helped him get bank accounts away from her. that was the first week the money didn't hit the account and she had a fit. >> when dateline continues. walgreens. at the corner of happy and healthy. get 25% off nike for mom. that's 25% off select nike shoes, apparel and accessories just in time for mother's day! and, everyone gets kohl's cash! earn it on everything! spend it on anything! right now at kohl's.

interview for the job saturday afternoon. we )ve just posted that list on our website. =add= and defense attorneys are spending the weekend preparing their case to spare the life of "antolin garcia torres" -- the man convicted in the death of sierra lamar. sentencing trial begins next week. we )ve posted interviews and pictures from the case on our facebook page. =end=

reporter: not quite 2 years after cara ryan shot her ex husband prosecutor liz jack stood before a freshly impanelled jury and painted a picture of a cold, manipulative woman who could no longer control or even have her once compliant ex husband. and so -- >> on march 7, 2015 she invited him over for sex. he accepted her invitation and by the end of the night he was dead. >> reporter: dead, the state charged, because he had the temerity to leave her. and take up with another woman. >> she was not happy about it. i think -- i think she was definitely shocked to her, it

came out of nowhere. >> reporter: and he didn't just leave her. he cut off the money. >> she was financially dependent on him and he left her. >> she was used to having x number of more dollars in her bank account and -- >> reporter: and now it was gone? >> now it was gone. >> reporter: listen to the 911 call, so devoid of emotion, said the prosecutor. evidence that this popular teacher was capable of murder. >> my ex-husband came in and he raped me. >> he raped you? >> mhm? >> reporter: more evidence soon after the murder police asked jj's daughter meghan to call cara. they recorded the call, it too was played for the jury >> reporter: why did you shoot him though? >> i didn't know if it was him coming back to kill me like he said he would or if it was a stranger coming in and that's what he said if anyone came in the house unannounced to shoot to kill. >> the monotone, the -- you know, the lack of -- sympathy >>

how are you doing? >> horrible. >> i'm sorry. i don't know what to say. >> she's talking to the daughter of the man she just shot and killed. >> reporter: the jury also saw these selfies from cara's phone, taken three days after the shooting. >> she just killed her lover of so many years and here she is out drinking. it seemed very odd. >> reporter: and remember all those stories about cara's control over jj? meghan told the jury how he had to sneak around. with his own daughter. >> he would give me money in gas gift cards or grocery gift cards, to make it look like he had bought gas or had bought groceries -- because if he took cash out or money out to give me, it would -- cause some type of ordeal. >> reporter: but his new love, lonnie lancto, told the jury

about that change in jj, as soon as he left cara. >> his relationship with his daughter was so much better because he didn't have to answer to why he was talking to her, what was it about, what did she want? >> reporter: wait a minute. he had to answer for what he -- how he talked to his daughter? >> oh, absolutely. that was a big deal. >> reporter: jj, she said, loved his newly found freedom. >> he was so excited. he was so happy to not have to answer to someone for every single thing he did or said. >> reporter: and lonnie also told the jury that all hell broke lose after jj cut off his financial ties to cara. >> the week he died was -- i helped him get bank accounts away from her. that was the first week the money didn't hit the account. and she had a fit. it was about money with her. >> reporter: then the night jj died, the prosecutor said, cara lured him with that invitation for sex. via x-rated text messages. which were displayed for the jury. >> we also found that she

downloaded a book, how to get your man back or something to that effect. >> reporter: just how badly did she want him back? these are from notes cara wrote to herself on her phone. "i would do anything to make it work. i love you i want to start over." "how can you just abandon a 20 year relationship?" >> stuff that we found in her cell phone -- that -- that showed this -- this shock and this dismay that, you know, "how could he do this." >> reporter: but remember, cara accused jj of raping her. so the prosecutor told the jury that dna tests didn't even show clear evidence that they'd had sex. and those bruises on cara's hip? were judging from texts with the new boyfriend not from jj. >> the rough sex a couple of days prior to the shooting is what led to whatever injuries she may have had. >> reporter: the red marks on her wrists? could have been from sex play said the state could have been from struggling with her handcuffs here in the police car. >> nothing led me to believe

that there was anything from this alleged altercation with jj -- that was -- that was on her body at all. >> reporter: and remember, cara told detectives that jj went back to drinking and abusing oxycodone after they broke up? but the medical examiner testified that the level of alcohol in his system was very low that night. and there was no trace of opiates in his blood at the time of his death. >> he had one -- one pill in his pocket at the time of his death and -- he obviously had the prescription because he injured his back. >> reporter: so, if the detectives were right that cara wasn't defending herself why that night at that moment did she take out the gun and pull the trigger? because, said the prosecutor, her ploy-her attempt to lure him back-failed and she was losing control of him. the state's theory? that cara did send graphic selfies to her new boyfriend.

and jj did see them she wanted to make him jealous but he didn't attack her. he just walked out on her. >> i think it's reasonable to believe that he said, "this is it. this is over." you know? so maybe that plays a part into her saying, you know, "i'm not gonna get him back." >> reporter: and so -- >> things went south. she wasn't happy. >> reporter: keith stand up. >> police and prosecutors said it just couldn't have happened the way cara said it did. for one thing when first responders arrived just moments after the shooting really, all the lights in the house were on. it wasn't in darkness the way she described it. and, this room is so tiny. that somebody standing in the doorway could reach out and touch the finger of the person on the bed. so wouldn't she have recognized the man she'd lived with for 20 years when he was that close? wouldn't she have recognized the sound of his footsteps coming across the floor? and the bullet that killed him went in through his upper arm at the back and down into his heart as if he wasn't coming into attack her, but as if he was

turning away. perhaps to run. >> reporter: you saw the trajectory of the bullet what story did it tell you about what must have happened in that bedroom doorway? >> jj was walking out or turned to-- to leave the bedroom and saw it coming and may have ducked down. but her story of, "i saw this hand reaching towards me and i pulled the trigger," it doesn't line up with h -- the angle, the trajectory of the shooting. >> no? >> like i told her, i said, "what, did the bullet hang a u-turn? it doesn't work like that." >> reporter: but perhaps the state's strongest evidence was in cara's own words. jurors listened to those hours and hours of ever evolving stories. >> i was scared. i didn't know who was coming in. >> i think any normal person, you know -- would be able to look at those interviews and say, "she's lying. she's not telling the truth." there's nothing in there that

tells me -- you know, that there's a reasonable explanation for her action. >> reporter: yes there was a reasonable explanation said the defense. and the jury was about to hear it. coming up, cara's lawyer argues the cops mishandled the case because j.j. was one of their own. >> own. >> he lied. the jury is not going to forgive you. >> then cara takes a gamble that determines her fate. >> i text and he said i'll do it. if you don't think "this is right for me" when you think aarp, then you don't know "aarp". get your free guide at aarp.org/possibilities.

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reporter: cara ryan's defense was well underway even before the opening statements began. the strategy, at least. attorney rodger futerman, remember, had put cara through a couple of mock trials, and discovered: >> the majority of women convicted her, and the majority of men didn't, and the women's rationale was all emotionally based. they wanted to hear much more emotion in her. they want to hear her crying. >> and this client is not like that? >> that's not her. it's just not how she is. >> reporter: so futerman worked hard to ensure there were mostly males in the jury.

in florida, 2nd degree murder cases have six person juries, and he succeeded. five of the six were men. >> we believed the men wouldn't be focused on the emotion, but more on the facts. >> what else did you look for in the jury? >> gun owners. people that were not afraid to shoot someone if they came into their house unannounced, and almost every one of our jurors had a gun, and was not afraid to use it. >> reporter: once the trial began, futerman told those jurors that cara had no choice but to use her gun to defend herself. plain and simple. >> he attacked her. she said stop. he never acted like this, stop. you're raping me, stop. >> reporter: something else the defense tried to do, persuade the jury that j.j. was out of control after seeing that text from cara's new boyfriend, and came back to the house in a rage. >> he snapped. she defended herself. he snapped. >> so those are the elements you need to get a jury to believe. he was a person capable of snapping -- >> correct. >> and that she legitimately was in fear for her life. >> correct. >> and she wasn't angry, and wanted revenge, but was terrified. >> correct. >> reporter: so part of the

strategy was, put the victim on trial. >> you went after him pretty hard, you went after him for -- you called him essentially a drunk. you talked about the oxycodone use, and you made it sound like he was, you know, a volcano about to explode. >> well, there was no doubt, as our expert said, he was a chronic xanax and oxycodone user. >> right, for good reason. >> for good reason. >> his injuries. >> but i think that -- >> they were prescribed. >> they were prescribed, but as needed. three to four a day, that's a lot. we don't know when he was taking them. >> reporter: even though medical examiner testified that j.j.'s blood showed low levels of alcohol and no trace of pain killers that night, futerman claimed withdrawal set j.j. off. >> he was drinking. he was coming off oxy. he was coming off xanax. he was taking antidepressants. he was filled with rage.

he was confused, and all of these things could lead him to snap that night, because that's what happened. he snapped. >> he had bad addictions. he had bad sides to him. he wasn't a bad guy. >> his friends, his family felt as if the dead guy is being dragged through the mud. >> sure. >> did you feel bad about it? >> i didn't want it to happen. i never wanted to go to court and air all of our dirty laundry. >> reporter: but now that she was here -- accused of murder, j.j.'s reputation was fair game, said attorney futerman. >> i think there was a lot of sides to j.j. that his best friends didn't know. >> reporter: including his cop buddies, said futerman. cops who, he charged, were blind to anything but cara's alleged guilt, and would do anything to prove it. >> it wasn't an investigation. it was a witch hunt. they sprang up out of their beds

like a church choir, and they met at that gate with pitchforks. >> why would they do that? >> they were his friends. they were his buddies, his brothers. >> i told the jury, the police are going to lie to you. lie as when the deputy said he read cara her rights in the patrol car, said futerman. >> reporter: the deputy originally said it was during the first 15 minutes, then he changed his story >> and he said, i no longer read miranda within 15 minutes. i read it in an hour and ten minutes later. >> and she wasn't facing a camera at that point? >> correct. >> reporter: futerman charged that the deputy changed his story after he found out that lucinda the lip reader had been analyzing cara's words. the deputy said no, he just refreshed his memory by looking at the tape, but futerman wasn't buying it. >> he lied. >> reporter: and that's when futerman put lucinda on the

stand. she confirmed that she never saw cara respond to a miranda warning, and though she said she couldn't always tell what was said on that video, futerman had made his point. >> when you lie to a jury, when your witnesses lie, get on that stand, especially police officer, and lie, the jury's not going to forgive you. >> reporter: well, maybe, but the defense still had to account for the prosecution's strongest evidence against cara. her shifting versions, her many different stories about what happened. >> my story didn't change. i just got it out of sequence. he came in the door. he raped me. he was enraged. he came in the door, and he yelled at me. he left. he came back. it was just the same thing just a little muddled. >> it was a little more than muddled. things happened at different times in different tellings basically, right? >> i just got things out of sequence. >> hm. >> i was in shock. i was scared out of my mind.

i had never seen him like that. >> reporter: at the trial, attorney futerman had an expert offer this opinion: >> trauma can affect how you remember things. sometimes a moment of self preservation can affect how you -- how you say things. >> reporter: but cara was consistent about one thing, her claim that j.j. raped her. evidence to back that up? the marks on her wrists, said futerman, and he called another expert to say they were fresh, just hours old, so couldn't have been caused by the new boyfriend. >> it was a quantum leap from the state to say the sex that she had 36 hours prior to the incident would leave fresh scratches on her, or a bruise. so we think that that was caused by the incident. >> reporter: mind you, the state said the marks could have been left by the handcuffs too, but again, futerman had made his point. but now cara had to make a decision, should she testify, or

not? >> i thought, i really don't want to testify. i'm scared, and it's painful, and then roger said, it's totally up to you, but my gut says testify, and i said no. >> reporter: but in the middle of the night, she told us, she changed her mind. >> so i texted roger at 3:00 o'clock i said, i'll do it. >> reporter: and she did. cara told her story, and in the middle, she dropped a bombshell about j.j. coming up, a stunning revelation. >> he left a suicide note. >> what would it moon for cara's case when dateline continues. ♪

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reporter: cara ryan had made the decision to testify. a risky decision, yet futerman had confidence in his client. >> i told her, "just tell the truth and be yourself. don't be fake. don't put fake tears. and if you are yourself, and you do tell the truth, you can't go wrong." >> reporter: so cara took the stand and tried to explain why there were differences in the way she told her story. she also explained to the jury that she was smiling in those photos taken two days after she shot j.j., because her friend asked her to smile. then came the bombshell. >> he left a suicide note.

>> reporter: when did he write that note? >> i don't know when he wrote it. >> reporter: attorney futerman said he made the discovery after going through more than 300 pieces of evidence. >> and i bursted out crying because i thought his last words to me were, "i'm going to kill you." and you're a [ bleep ] whore. and his last words were sad." the letter read "i love you more than i have loved anything or anyone in my entire life." "i wish with all my soul that you felt the same way." "please take care of meghan. i am sorry i failed you, because i really did love you." >> reporter: was that a suicide note? >> oh, i think so. >> reporter: that -- that's a matter of opinion. >> i think when you say, "take care of my daughter." "i did love you," all the other insecurities in that note -- the point of that note to me was there's another side of j.j. that a lot of people didn't know. and there were some real issues there.

>> reporter: but the idea that was a suicide note? ludicrous, said the prosecution. could have been written years earlier, probably was. after all, why would he ask cara to take care of meghan? she was an adult, living on her own, when j.j. was killed. and j.j. was over the moon with his new life with a new woman, so those expressions of love, highly unlikely at the time of his death. anyway, with that it was over. cara had done all she could to make her case. >> reporter: what was it like when that jury went out? >> i knew it was in god's hands. there's nothing i could do. now, my attorney looked like somebody had punched him in the gut, but i was just an eerie calm. >> reporter: meghan was anything but calm, as the jury deliberated. >> it was nerve-wracking. i was, like, wondering what they were talking about. >> reporter: ron fowler was foreman of the jury, amy petrila was the one and only woman. >> reporter: how did the

prosecution want you to see her and her character? >> you know, manipulated and -- and cold -- a cold blooded killer. >> reporter: would you agree with that? >> well, yeah. and i guess maybe not quite to that degree. >> reporter: but was she? >> you know, she's a teacher. she's never been in trouble before. >> reporter: but as he listened to testimony, ron found cara's actions odd. >> she never cried when she was on the phone with the step daughter, "i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to shoot him." so that really bothered me through the case. >> reporter: they were less bothered, mind you, by the way cara's story of what happened kept changing. >> the testimonies from some of the experts say that's not unusual. >> victims of -- of assault -- physical assaults or sexual assaults act different than -- people who are contemplating -- murder. >> reporter: score one for the defense in a series, otherwise, of strikeouts. it's portrayal of j.j. as an opiate addicted drunk for one. >> when they tried to paint him

as being this, you know, drunk, on drugs, and irrational -- i didn't put a lot of basis to that. >> i always figure if someone is able to keep a job for ten years -- they're -- they're doing something right. >> reporter: then lucinda the lip reader who said she didn't see evidence that the deputy read cara her miranda rights in the cruiser. the defense called the deputy a liar, remember that? >> i think the defense was trying to -- do whatever they could to create doubt. that's their job. >> reporter: sure. >> i didn't think it added much to, you know, the evidence that we were looking at. >> i didn't believe that the policeman did read the rights based upon his testimony, but later they did -- when they really continued to ask questions. then they read the miranda rights. >> reporter: another defense strike-out. the suicide note, if that's what it was, didn't add much for them either. >> i think just for me it spoke to his state of mind -- >> reporter: did it seem like -- >> at some point.

>> reporter: a suicide note to you? or was it more -- >> i read it several times. there's different meanings that you could put to it. >> i just didn't think that it had a basis for what happened that night. >> reporter: finally, cara's risky decision to testify. did it pay off? >> i was surprised that she testified, but i -- it didn't really alter my thought process before or after. >> reporter: so they gathered in the jury room, five men and one woman. two weeks worth of evidence and testimony to review and debate. and then they had to decide who to believe, and what mattered, and what the evidence proved. >> it's a horrendous waiting moment. >> reporter: and? it wasn't very many moments. the jury decided in just 90 minutes. >> that usually means guilty in that short period of time. >> reporter: so your spirits rose. >> absolutely. >> yeah. well, yeah. >> i asked my attorney what that

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we cannot tolerate any outbursts. >> reporter: there is no overstating it, a palpable tension, a flutter of the heart, when a jury files in to pronounce the fate of another human being. cara ryan shot her ex. she could spend decades in

prison, or she could walk free. this was the moment she'd find out. >> you're charged with second degree murder. the jury walks back into the room. what'd it feel like to be you? >> all i could do is breathe. all i could do is just keep a stiff upper lip, hold my head high, be confident -- >> reporter: some spectators watched on a closed circuit feed. a cell phone camera recorded it, the words that changed cara's life. >> as to the defendant in this case, the defendant is not guilty. >> reporter: not guilty >> my first moment was thank you, to my attorney, roger, and his co-counsel, and then my next thought was to turn around and look at my mother and say, mom, it's okay. >> reporter: that, we need hardly tell you, is not what j.j.'s brother was doing, or feeling.

>> i said to myself, you're -- kidding me. >> reporter: or his sister -- >> there was stone silence, and all you heard was -- [ gasp ] from everyone. >> we were in shock, exactly. >> we were in shock. >> reporter: or his daughter meghan. >> i didn't really believe that that's what i heard, and i didn't want to cause a scene, so i walked out, and i couldn't -- i collul'tmove anymore. >> reporter: it wawhensthe hear she said. >> my heart shattered again. somebody who had hurt you for so long, and then hurt you in the biggest way anybody ever could, just won again, like she always did. >> reporter: so why did the jury acquit? in the end, they said, it boiled down to a single question. did cara shoot jj in self-defense, or rage? >> i don't think it was out of rage. i think it was out of

fear. >> it was the -- the sense of th hangr that he left and came back that still resonated with me of the self- defense issue being pretty strong. >> reporter: amy had no doubt, she said. cara must have been assaulted. >> what evidence persuaded you of that? >> the marks on her arms and her entire demeanor at the time of the interviews, after the murder. she presented as a very scared victim of an assault. >> reporter: amy didn't believe those marks could have come from the kinky sex cara had with her new boyfriend. >> the evidence was presented that the marks were less than 24 hours old. >> reporter: nor did amy buy the prosecution theory that cara got those marks from handcuffs in the police car. >> i believe the testimony that she was in fear of her life, and she was defending herself as she

had been instructed by her -- >> by him. >> husband -- ex-husband. >> reporter: so the jury was unanimous, cara shot j.j. in self defense. >> was there evidence enough to say that she did not act in self-defense? none of us could come to that conclusion. >> reporter: cara's life is no longer on hold. she's hoping to get back to teaching now that this ordeal is behind her. at the end of our interview the woman who revealed little emotion to juries mock or real, finally did. >> what are you feeling right this second? >> i feel like -- i feel like jay's still with me. i think about him every day, and i wish things were different. i wish i could've saved him. i wish i could've done something differently, and i know this has caused a lot of pain for not just his family, but my family. >> reporter: j.j.'s daughter,

meghan, has now filed a wrongful death lawsuit against cara. cara denied meghan's allegations, and her attorney told us he believes they'll prevail. as for lonnie lantco, she lives with the loss of j.j. every day. >> it never goes away, but we keep john alive with each other. the family and i are very close. i get to talk to megan every day. i get to see the things that he missed, or misses, and hope that he's seeing them, and he's proud of her. >> reporter: and meghan, who in fact did get that job as a police dispatcher, is now trying to navigate a future without him. >> you wish that, yeah, it could be different, but i just have to go forward with my life, and

live to make my dad very proud of what i have become. >> oh, i think he probably is. >> i really hope so. i really hope so. that's all for this edition of dateline. we'll see you next friday and we'll see you each weeknight for nbc nightly news. then disappears the same day. five years later, one question is answered and a murder mystery begins. the east bay fire bug strikes again. the strange things the neighbors saw when the car caught fire. next. right now at 11:

what happened to jeanette ru our investigators had a lot of questions, which concerned them. >> right now at 11:00, what happened to jeanette harem. tonight the mystery surrounding the deaear-d woman who disappeared shortly after giving birth. the news at 11:00 starts right now. good evening. thanks for being with us on this friday. i'm raj matthai. >> tonight a plea for hem from investigators. new at 11:00, she simply walked out of the hospital and disappeared. now four and a half years later