hello, everyone, i'm kate snow. >> i'm savannah sellers. thanks for being here. "nbc news daily" starts right now.

today is friday, april 14th, 2023. breaking news -- motive for murder. court documents just unsealed in the case against the man accused of killing a tech executive in san francisco. what we just learned about the connection between the two men. facing a judge. the air national guardsman accused of posting documents on line appears in federal court. what he said to his parents as he was being led out of the room. trafficking bust. more than two dozen people charged in connection to efforts to bring fentanyl into the united states. their ties to a notorious drug kingpin. and saying sorry. the surprising mental health benefits of just apologizing. how to make sure your word make a lasting impact. we begin with breaking news out of san francisco. just developing this hour, we have court documents with new details about the man charged with killing the founder of a popular app. >> police say his name is nema

momeni and he stabbed tech mogul bob lee to death. he started the online payment system called cash app. authorities say the two men were acquaintances. >> let's get to more on the court documents. what do they reveal? >> reporter: it gives a better picture of what happened leading up to the stabbing that lapped last tuesday around 2:30 a.m. in san francisco. i'm looking at them now, i'm going to walk you through this. in these court documents it says bob lee, the defendant here, and nemo momeni and his younger sister who were married was at an apartment. a witness saw momeni confront lee asking if his sister had taken drugs or did anything inappropriate. lee answered saying no. video surveillance footage that night shows momeni drive lee to a secluded area where police say he stabbed lee. in that video surveillance footage it shows that.

that's what it says. then that's where they say they also recovered what they believe is the murder weapon, a knife. so prosecutors in this court document that was released said they believe momeni acted brazenly, and the attack was planned and deliberate. >> so i mean, i think what we're learning that's worth noting is we haveeen saying they were in the same industry, they may have known each other. this sounds they were in fact spending time together even with family members. >> that night. >> exactly. is that what you're saying? >> reporter: right. the main thing here is that there seems to be a confrontration prior to -- confrontation prior to the stabbing where momeni confront lead about his sister who was married. so that is the mean thing here that is the most interesting coming out of it so far. there seems to be a relationship. prior to this police told us they knew each other but didn't say how.

now we know. >> more to learn there i'm sure. thank you. >> thank you so much. also breaking this, how the man suspected -- this, how the man suspected of leaking classified defense department documents in a courtroom. jack teixiera is 21 and is is aaccused of posting hundreds of military intelligence documents on line. prosecutors said he first shaped them with friends on the social media platform discord. teixiera was taken into custody on tuesday in a small town. covering this, allie raffa and ron allen outside the courthouse. ron, what happened during the first court appearance? what charges is he facing? >> reporter: a very brief court hearing where the judge told him that he was charged basically with violating the nation's espionage laws. laws that are a crime -- make it a crime to mishandle or handle confidential information in a

way that puts the nation at some risk, specifically retaining, removing, transmitting, or sharing those documents. he faces up to 15 years in prison. and again, he's accused of violating this law using hundreds of documents, dozens of them the judge said that were labeled top secret, and some even at a higher classification. again, this was a very preliminary hearing. the initial appearance, the judge scheduled another hearing for next week, next wednesday, which is essentially going to be a bail hearing to determine if he has to remain in custody, in prison, until there is a trial. teixiera arrived in court in handcuffs, and in a prison jumpsuit. he said not much at all, just acknowledging yes when he -- he understand what the judge was saying to him. there was a somewhat emotional moment where he turned and saw

people who we believe were his parents and other relatives in the front row of the courtroom, and they whispered some things back and forth. as he was being led out of the courtroom where he will remain until this hearing next week. we also learned that the fbi was able to solve this case just in the past few days by connecting with another user in this game -- in this gaming area where these documents were being circulated. that individual led them to teixiera, and he said that this all started back in december of last year and continued on up to now. and one last note, there are indication that teixeira was aware in the process that investigators were looking for him. at the end after there were public media reports about this, there's evidence the investigators said that he did a search using a -- a search of government record using the word "leak" to try and see what the intelligence community knew about there person himself

essentially. >> absolutely. ron, thank you for that. allie, there was a screen that told us more about teixeira and a member of the intelligence wing. again, just a low ranking, frankly 21-year-old. what is the conversation now about how he was able to access this information? i mean, sharing it is one thing, but having the access to these documents to do so in the first place, is that raising eyebrows, or is that to be expected? >> reporter: we know he was promoted last year to airman first class. in that capacity, he worked in i.t. which required him to have a top-secret security clearance and sign this lifetime binding nondisclosure agreement. but this arrest affidavit that was unsealed today doesn't say specifically whether he had lawful access to these classified documents he allegedly leaked as part of his job or whether he used his i.t. access to steal them and post them on that gaming platform.

as far as a motive goes, "the washington post" describes him as, quote, searching for companionship amid the isolation of the pandemic, and some people in the chat room with him say he didn't consider himself a whistleblower, rather someone just trying to impress friends. so this doesn't appear to have the same motive as other classified information leaks like, say, the pentagon papers or wikileaks that had political motivation behind them. as far as how to prevent this from happening again, this has sparked a whole new debate about how to actually prevent this from happening again and what needs to be done. we heard president biden say yesterday he's more concerned about how the leak actually happened than what was revealed in it. and today he's saying in a new statement that he's, quote, directed our military and intelligenceommunity to take steps to further secure and limit distribution of sensitive information. now we know that several intelligence agencies have started that work. they've been expanding monitoring of online platforms,

even tightening up who has access to information this sensitive. the start of what we can only imagine to be a very long and exhausting and complicated process, guys. >> also worth noting that these documents were out there for quite a while without anybody being aware that these were circulating on line which is a whole other conversation about security. allie, ron, thank you both very much. there are two big developments this hour in the battle over abortion rights. overnight republican governor ron desantis of florida signed a bill to ban abortions in that state after six weeks of pregnancy. also today the justice department and the maker of the abortion pill mifepristone asked the supreme court to block part of a decision from a federal judge in texas. that decision limits people's access to that medication. let's bring in nbc news correspondent morgan chesky. i'm going to start with the florida news. this bill is not going into effect today in florida, as i understand it. there are still legal challenges that need to be settled, is that right? >> reporter: yeah, kate.

that's absolutely right. and really it goes back as far as june, 2022. that is when governor ron desantis and the republican-led florida legislature passed a 15-week abortion ban in anticipation of the supreme court's ruling on roe versus wade. and right now that 15-week ban is currently being held up in the florida state supreme court. they need to rule on whether that is constitutional or not. now we're looking at a six-week ban. this does come with exceptions for rape and incest up to 15 weeks. however, this is something that whenever it was introduced back in march, received a significant amount of pushback in florida. and it came after a seven-hour-long house debate. but of course the supermajority that the republicans have there in florida both in the senate and the house, more than enough to push it through. although as you mentioned, kate, it does not go into effect just

yet. >> and florida's not alone here, morgan, right? it was one of the last places that women could go to in the southern u.s. to get an abortion at that point in pregnancy. when that changes, what's going to happen? can you give a lay of the land as far as what states have what laws? >> reporter: it's going to be very interesting. some of our colleagues with nbc digital created this map and actually spoke to health care providers in florida who were saying that people were coming in from as far as oklahoma and texas in order to get abortions there. if this goes into effect, as you can see, women in florida would have to likely go north to either south or north carolina to have that procedure done. kate? >> all right. morgan chesky on that for us. thank you. new retail numbers show a decrease in spring spending. also the metaverse is facing pushback. >> morgan brennan now with today's cnbc "money minute." >> reporter: hi. retail sales fell last month in a sign that consumers are

slowing their spending amid persistent inflation. retail sales dropped 1% in march from february, and the new data showed that americans are spending less on cars and electronics. however, an analysis of credit card data from bank of america showed that spending rebounded in entertainment, dining out, and on airline tickets. and advocacy groups and experts are urging meta to keep minors out of the metaverse. this according to a report from bloomberg. in a letter sent to ceo mark zuckerberg, the groups asked him to reconsider welcoming minors to the platform and argue that they could be at risk of harassment and harmful content. one to watch. >> have to point out that we were just seeing savannah because she was in the -- >> i was in the metaverse -- >> she was doing a piece about children. she's not a child herself. >> exactly. thanks, morgan. -okay, and one more. -i think we e got it. -yeah, letet's focus o on t. -r-rv? okayay, everybodody, lookok at the rvrv and smil. ththis is whatat you wantt for yoyour family y portrai? good pointnt. we bundldled tht with our h home and auauto .

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welcome back. we are seeing and feeling extreme weather across the country as we head into the weekend. parts of the u.s. are facing record april heat. there is all happening while south florida is drying out from historic rainfall that sparked massive flooding in ft. lauderdale. that is where we find nbc news correspondent sam brock. >> reporter: after historic storms and neighborhoods here in ft. lauderdale that are still flooded even 36 to 48 hours after the heat of this event, a lot of questions now about what comes next. we are getting critical pieces of information now, an update

from officials in broward county and from ft. lauderdale about where things stand in terms of displacement and also rescue efforts. we found out there are no life-threatening situations anymore. all of the efforts that are going now are to help people who are in uncomfortable situations, and that's a lot of folks. i can attest to that firsthand. we were out in neighborhoods like flamingo park where there are still two to three feet of water that have not been flushed out. i'm told that there's about 300 to 40 people in -- 30 to 40 people in an emergency shelter. originally it was said to be 600, that was incorrect. how many are rescues versus displacements we're working to find that out. for those frustrated and trying to figure out why there's so much standing water in my neighborhood, i'm told there's two reasons behind that. one, high and low tide. when it's low tide, there's a the 90-minute cycle to get the water through the storm system flushed out into the ocean where the pipes are not covered up. when the tide comes back up, that no longer becomes possible. everything is clogged again. they're working in small

windows. also vac trucks, as they're called, big trucks that vacuum up the standing water that's in neighborhoods and physically carry it out, they don't have enough of them. right new there's 20 on the ground. i'm told they requested another 20. four have arrived. officials now are going through the process of trying to clear neighborhoods out, amazingly through the -- throughout this, no reported fatalities. and there had been a travel snare for a period of time. you're looking at hundreds of flights that were canceled today, 230-plus. things are back up and running again today as the community, though, is still dealing with the effects of what feels to many like a hurricane-level event. >> little bit of good news there. sam brock, thank you. as spring break season wraps up, it is time to start planning ahead for summer vacation. travel experts say it's going to be a busy one, so start preparing now. nbc's tom costello is out at reagan national airport in d.c. with how airports and airlines are gearing up. >> reporter: good day.

it's a friday in april, the tail end of spring break. we've had a very busy day already here at reagan airport. the tsa lines all day have been very, very busy, and nationwide they're screening more than two million passengers a day, on some days 2.at million. we are at or exceeding 2019 pre-pandemic levels. we've got delta airlines saying that they are seeing bookings fo the summertecord levels, and by one estimate, global tourism will be up 30% over 2019 levels. so get ready for a very busy summer. now you may remember it was a bad season last year because, of course, we had not enough people staffing the airlines or the airports, inside the cockpits, not enough pilots. so what's happened -- the airports and airlines have staffed up, they've hired more pilots, in fact, and they've signed new labor agreements with the pilots. so as a result they say they are ready, and they will not have a repeat. here's what you need to know in terms of air fares domestically for the summer.

up 18% over 2019, pre-pandemic levels on average, the typical air fare in the states, $328 roundtrip. $528 if you're going to mexico. if you want to go europe, $1,100 roundtrip, up 30% from 2019. top destinations -- new york city in the states, then we've got vegas and orlando and washington, d.c., by the way, a lot of great destinations in the city that are for free if you want to bring the kids. museums, smithsonian, it's great. overseas, it's going to be the top destination of london, then paris, tokyo, then rome, and watch out, it's not just about the cost of travel for the airfare, lodging in the states and food, food's up 9% from a year ago. lodging up 8%. last point here, you know we talked about the meltdowns last summer and then southwest had its problems again over christmas. they say they've addressed those issues, but there's one issue they can't address, and that's that the faa has a shortage of

air traffic controllers. as a result, especially in new york city, they are asking airlines to trim down, to scale back their flights into and out of new york. what that means is fewer seats, that means airfares likely to be higher, that means, of course, few ur options if things go bad. as always, all about the weather, the summer weather is very volatile. so there's an awful lot happening as we go into there summer, 2023 summer travel, with expectations it's going to be very, very busy indeed. back to you. >> oh, boy. >> wow. >> tom gave us a lot to think about. file like i need a notebook. >> i like the museum tips. sounds like it's going to be hard in new york because of the faa shortage. my h husband andnd i have never beenen more actitive. shingleses doesn't care. i go to o spin classsses withth my coworkrkers. gogood for youou, shshingles doeoesn't caca. becaususe no matteter hohow healthy y you feel,, your r risk of shihingles shay inincreases afafter age 50.

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charged with the april 4th murder of lee. police found lee at 2:30 in the morning. he later died in a hospital. the d.a.'s office and a substitute defense attorney were careful not to give a lot of new doe ta details. >> the charging document that would identify the charges he is facing, which are murder with an allegation that a person with a knife was involved. and more additional facts in the case. >> he has friends and family here in support. the facts as to what occurred or did not will come out. >> reporter: friends and family declined to comment. the judge also ordered the search warrant affidavit and other sensitive documents to be sealed. when it comes to motive and whether they recovered the

murder weapon, we likely will not know those details for another 11 days. >> thanks for that. new video shows the moment a bay area woman was kidnapped in mexico. the fbi just released the video. it shows the moment the 29-year-old was abducted as she was walking home from work. this happened in november. the video shows three cars, which investigators believe are connected to the kidnapping, and the san mateo native getting forced into a car. a $40,000 we ward is being offered. the warriors gearing up for the playoffs. we are not showing it there, but warriors getting ready. a popular singer coming to town. first, a location for meals and wheels. a new headquarters. they held a ribbon cutting

ceremony an hour ago. a legend is coming to town. miss diana ross will be one of the artists performing this season. she will be there june 15th. tickets for the shows went on sale today. warriors getting ready for the first playoff game this season. the bay area hoping it will be another championship year. they play the kings in sacramento tomorrow. there's a watch party at the chasenter tomorrow. kings haven't made it to the playoffs since 06. it's been a while for them. the team grabbed the third seed spot. warriors fans shouldn't be too worried. they did take three of four regular season games from the kings this year. the nice weather continues. here is kari hall with what to expect. >> we have a wonderful start to our weekend with temperatures right where they should be for this time of year. middle of april, we are supposed to see temperatures in the upper 60s. that's what we will see in san

jose, 68 degrees there. 66 in dublin. upper 60s in the north bay. san francisco will reach 60 degrees. it's about the same on sunday -- or saturday, rather. we will continue with that sunshine. a little more of a breeze for the inland valleys, the temperatures up to the upper 60s and low 70s. great outdoor weather. we will see more clouds moving in on sunday. increasing cloud cover means for some of us the temperatures may be just a little bit cooler but still nice with mid to upper 60s as we are going to continue to see nice weather. a look at the seven-day forecast coming up. >> thank you. the rain this year isn't only relieving the drought conditions, it's also boosting california's bee population. more rain means more flowers blooming, even a superbloom seen here. the bloom translates into more pollen for the local bee

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had d a vaccine e or pla. ♪♪ had d a vaccine e or pla. ♪ it't's my momenent so i j just gotta a say ♪ had d a vaccine e or pla. ♪♪ nothingng is everytythin♪ talk t to your derermatolot ababout skyrizizi. leararn how abbvbvie could d help you s save. bottom of the hour now. here are some of the stories making headlines on "nbc news daily" -- >> a major victory for french president emmanuel macron.

the constitutional council approved his unpopular plan to raise the retirement age from 62 to 64. the decision comes after three months of mass protests that have up-ended life across france. former president donald trump has asked an appeals court to block former vice president mike pence from testifying in the justice department's january 6th investigation. it's one of multiple criminal probes into former president trump based on the court's responses to previous requests. a decision is expected to come within days. this saturday will mark the tenth anniversary of the boston marathon bombing. the 2013 attack killed three people and injured hundreds of others. a series of remembrances will be held in boston this weekend. the mayor is encouraging people to take part in their own individual acts of kindness. this year's boston marathon will take place on monday. we have breaking news today in the fight against fentanyl. the justice department is taking on a mexican drug cartel

charging more than two dozen of its members in connection with america's opioid crisis. attorney general merrick garland described the cartel as, quote, the largest, most violent and most prolific fentanyl trafficking operation in the world. nbc news homeland security correspondentulia ainsley joins me from washington. some members of this cartel are actually in custody right now. what do we know about them, and what do we know about the others charged? >> reporter: that's right. there were 28 charged, and it wasn't just in the united states, it was as far flung as colombia and even greece where they found people who were all part of the sinaloa cartel, and they're trying to crack down to show force and cooperation with the mexican government that they can go after leaders of this cartel that are not only supplying fentanyl to the united states but carrying out very violent acts in mexico. but there are four who still remain at large, and the justice department is asking for help for their arrest or conviction, and those are what they call the chapitos, the children of

guzman, el chapo, the head leader who was taken out, but now they're looking for his children. but as far as the violent acts, we've got a lot of detail today. probably some of the most gruesome details i've ever heard come out of the mouth of an attorney general. here's what merrick garland had to say. >> described in the indictment the chapitos security forces attack law enforcement, intimidate civilians, destroy unsupportive businesses, and capture contested territory. they often torture and kill their victims. they have fed some of their victims dead and alive to tigers belonging to the chapitos. >> reporter: he also talked about victims who were forced to overdose on fentanyl in that exact same batch being shipped to the united states. so you can see how not only is this cartel profiting off of a drug that's deadly to so many americans, they're also carrying out a horrific campaign of violence within the country of

mexico. >> yeah. and julia, this is part of a bigger picture today. the biden administration also announcing it's increasing cooperation with mexico. there's sort of a new agreement that i know you know a lot about. there were treasury department sanctions announced today against chinese entities accused of making the ingredients for fentanyl that are then used in mexico to make it. what's the big picture? what's the administration doing? >> reporter: yeah, you and i have talked a lot about this deal or this agreement for more cooperation between the u.s. and mexico where mexico will be supplying more information to the u.s. as they try to go after more big fish in the fight against fentanyl just like they did today while trying to do more to track it as it comes across the u.s. border. meanwhile, the u.s. has agreed with cooperation from our own atf and justice department to do more to track guns that are going illegally southbound into mexico. this was a big sticking point during the negotiations. something i learned today was something the u.s. is going to do to try to sanction china because it's often those raw

ingredients coming in from china to mexico where it's manufactured in mexico and comes across the u.s. border. they're trying to trace the entire supply chain here, kate. >> all right. interesting. julia ainsley, hopefully it helps. appreciate it. thanks. that enormous fire at a recycling plant in richmond, indiana, is finally out. the toxic flames burned for three days before firefighters put it out. many who live nearby are worried about the potential health threat. they think it could last a long longer. nbc news' jesse kirsch on the ground in richmond. he is wearing a mid-atlantic -- a mask to be safe. there are people on the ground who are not doing so, i understand. tell us about that, and now what are you seeing today now that the fire's been fully contained? what's the air quality like? >> reporter: so even after we got the overnight notice that the fire was fully extinguished, our team members as they were making their way to the site this morning were experiencing the taste, the smell, and the

sight of what appeared to be debris coming from ground zero. we have backed away further from the fire site itself today versus where we were yesterday. speaks to the fluidity of the situation. this is something that officials have expected to continue. we were told that even with the fire extinguished they believe that smoke, soot, and the smell of burning plastic would linger in this community for days past when the fire was officially ruled to be snuffed out. so that's the situation on the ground. we're more than a mile out now. we haven't smelled anything over here or seen anything that appears to be abnormal. and we are beyond the evacuation zone. the evacuation order is still in place. we're within a half-mile radius of the fire site. beyond it people have been asked to shelter in place, keep their windows shut. so that's part of why i'm taking the added precaution here. we still don't have fully data reported from officials as to the air quality testing. that's something they've been watching. the good news about the fire being extinguished is that now

they can focus, they say, on the air and the water testing and figure out when they can get people back within that evacuation zone safely. >> and completely understandable that you and anyone who lives there is concerned about the air quality. jesse, let's talk about what we know about this facility that this happened at. i understand it was just wall to wall essentially with plastics in there. and now we know that there may be some potential warning signs that something like this, a disaster like this, a fire like this, could happen. what do we know? >> reporter: yeah, and there's been some finger pointing, as well. the mayor of the city of richmond has pointed blame toward the owner of a business that occupied this facility for years. but it's not clear if that business was actually operating here when the fire broke out earlier this weekend. on top of that, records show that the city actually took over ownership of part of this property last year. so some people suggested the city should have been responsible for cleanup. either way, as you mentioned, we have reports from officials that there was floor-to-ceiling

plastic piled up in six different buildings on this roughly 14-acre site as has been reported to us by officials. so a lot of plastic piled up. not the kind of thing you want burning. and something that got in the way of firefighters' efforts, as well, the fire chief telling us there was an access road heading into the property that was blocked off by plastic as well as semi tractor-trailers, they had to tow owl the trailers to get another access point to fight the fire. speaks to the challenges they've been facing. thankfully the fire's new extinguished. >> jesse kirsch, stay safe, please. and we will continue to follow this. thank you. the city of minneapolis has agreed to pay nearly $9 million to settle two civil lawsuits against former police officer derek chauvin. lawyers representing the victims released edited body cam video of those two incidents. we want to warn you, some of that video is graphic. it appears to show chauvin pressing a knee into a victim's neck. that, of course, is the same move he used when he killed

george floyd three years later. joining us now is nbc news correspondents shaquille brewster. shaq, can you walk us through what the two suits were about and what's happened now? >> reporter: the suits allege that derek chauvin used excessive and unreasonable force in two separate incidents in 2017. as you mentioned, that was three years before the murder of george floyd. in that video that you just saw a little bit of, you saw derek chauvin using the same technique so to speak that he used against george floyd, placing his knee on the back and necks of those two individuals. the men that you're looking at there was just 14 years old at the time. his name was john pope. derek chauvin was doing this as he was trying to take him into custody. now notably this is on the civil side, but derek chauvin pleaded guilty to depriving mr. pope of his constitutional rights back in 2021. in that plea agreement, chauvin admitted to having his knee on his neck for more than 15

minutes, despite the 14-year-old being facedown, handcuffed, and not resisting. >> and just to be clear, he's okay now? do we know where mr. pope is now? >> reporter: yes. pope is okay now. he is now an adult. so that's why we are releasing his name and acknowledging his name. he is okay now. he did have to get stitches based on that interaction. >> and the settlement for $9 million with the city, how did that come about? >> reporter: well, i got off the phone with the attorneys here. they say that this came about after the murder of george floyd, after that video went viral. their clients realized they had a similar interaction with derek chauvin. that started the process of trying to get the body camera video, trying to get some of the the records. and that's what ultimately led to the settlement that was approved unanimously by the minneapolis city council. listen to what we heard from the mayor. >> derek chauvin is exactly where he should be which is in federal prison. he should have been fired in

2017. he should have been held accountable in 2017. the supervisor that was involved, the supervisors that werenvolved should have made sure that he was held accounble in 2017. >> reporter: derek chauvin is currently in custody, said currently being held for that 22.5-year prison sentence for the murder of george floyd and the case involving mr. pope. >> shaq brewster for us. thank you. president biden is wrapping up his trip to ireland today. the sentimental visit has been packed with stops centered around his irish heritage. nbc news white house correspondent mike memoli joins us from ireland. tell us about this, how's the trip wrapping up? what did the president see? what did he learn? >> reporter: savannah, it's hard to imagine a greater day of contrasting emotions. the day started with president biden visiting a new hospice center that includes a

dedication to his son who died of brain cancer in 2015. the president also added important religious here was surprised -- this was not planned -- to meet the priest who happened to perform the last rites on beau biden when he was in his final weeks. the president was overcome by emotion, i'm told by those who were present for the moment. compare that to the rally-like atmosphere that the president will be coming to in a few hours. president biden's great, great, great grandfather sold the bricks, 27,000 in all, that helped build the cathedral behind him. now he's coming back for the third time. he came as vice president, as a private citizen. now as president of the united states where he's going to be giving something of a campaign-style speech talking about the resilience of the irish people, the importance of treating one another with dignity. the mayor here has been doing interviews and said this might be a time for president biden to announce his re-election. savannah? >> something we've been waiting on. i know you were saying before he went maybe after this he comes back and it happens.

so we shall have to see. mike memoli -- you'd know first. let us know. thank you so much. saying sorry can be difficult. ahead, how you can do it meaningfully and why it may actually be good for yourealth hto

i'm barbarara and i'm m from stst. joseph, , michigan.. i'i'm a retirered school l lib. i'i'm also a l library boaod trustetee, a motheher of tw, anand a grandmdmother of t . basicalllly, i thougught thatat my memoryry wasn't as s good as itit had b. i neededed all the h help i i could get.t. i saw the e commercialals for r prevagen.. i starteted taking i it. and it helelped! i i noticed mymy memory wawas . there was s definite i improve. i've beeeen taking p prevagn for a lilittle over r five ye. prevagagen. at stotores everye wiwithout a prprescription. in today's mental health check, saying sorry doesn't

always come easy, right? especially when there's a serious mistake. >> it's hard sometimes to take that initiative. an effective and sincere apology can, of course, help resolve conflicts, repair relationships, and ultimately benefit both parties involved. joining us to break this down is our friend and family and clinical psychologist dr. jennifer hartstein. always good to see you. thanks for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> love this topic. tell us how too we effectively and sincerely apologize? what are tips? >> first thing you think about is what are you apologizing for. >> right. >> right? if i hurt your feelings and i think it's no big deal but you're hurt and the relationship matters, i owe some sort of apology. we want to recognize the importance of that, how that builds a positive relationship between us, how that keeps us connected, how it matters to our relationship. and we want to have that be good. >> can you start with validating the other person and saying, like, oh, i realized that i've offended you? >> i would start with, i'm sorry

that i offended you. when we're a little amorph us on in our apology it loses meaning. and we use i'm sorry in a validation, i'm sorry you're feeling that way. >> yes. >> which for some people makes them bristle. if you want to apologize, you want to say i'm sorry for fill in the blank for what it is that i did wrong. >> that day wrong. >> that i did wrong. and avoid the but you did fill in the blank on that one because now you've taken your apology back. >> not making it about the other person's feelings but the action you took. >> right. because my action impacted your feelings. i want to recognize that i did something that impacted you. >> you say there are benefits to saying i'm sorry for the person saying i'm sorry. >> absolutely. there are benefits for everybody. it helps us feel less stressed. helps us feel connected. we know connection is an amazing protective factor for our mental health. it helps -- there's research that shows it slows your heart rate. it helps you feel less anxious. apologizing actually has lots of benefits mental and physical. >> so let's talk about -- maybe sort of a gray area and dare i

get personal and say as a newlywed, you know, i'm learning it's not about necessarily winning, same team, that kind of thing. but saying sorry when -- even when you're not sorry -- not that you're not sorry but you don't think you did something wrong or you think they're not seeing your side or the same perspective. but i do sometimes just say -- what does it matter? we're on the same team. i'm going to say i'm sorry even though -- should i do it? >> it is a gray area. that's where validation comes in. i can see you're upset about this is different than i'm sorry i'm not sure what i'm sorry about. i can see you're upset, can we talk about how we could do this differently in the future. now i'm honoring your feeling, not making myself small to fit into your puzzle, but i recognize we need to do something to make it better. >> what about in the workplace? in the workplace disagreements, mistakes, it happens, especially in the news business. there's a lot going on. a lot of stress. how do you navigate saying i'm

sorry to a colleague? >> you know, the same thing. relationships are happening in your workplace the say way they're happening in your life. if someone says i'm upset that you didn't do fill in the blank, recognize, hey, i did that, i'm sorry that it might have impacted your ability to do your work. how can i do it differently in the future? what do you need from me? then actually follow three. the key is if i say i'm going to do something differently i need follow through and make sure it happens. >> what about -- i like this, we're ticking through different relationships. with kids, i'm not a parent, but just as friends with kids and that kind of thing, i think a lot of times i'm the adult and i'm right. what about saying sorry to somebody younger than you, your child, just a relationship that you have with someone younger, what's that like? >> it's so important because it models for them how to interact with other people in their life. we make mistakes. we're human. adults are human. parents are human. if but something that your child is upset about, that doesn't mean you have to change what you do, you don't change the consequence but you can say i'm sorry that we had this fight.

let's talk about why we had the fight. but i think taking responsibility, owning it, it helps build that relationship between the two of you and lets them see you as human and models for them what to do for themselves. >> what if a person doesn't accept your apology? >> they don't have to. that's the hard part. >> oh. >> okay? here's the hard part. no one is obligated to accept your apology even though you want them to. >> you let it float there? >> well, i think the question you have to ask is, hey, i see that you're still upset about this, is there anything i can do, or do we just need time? that's the we can question. >> you are just -- it's so good. >> i learned a lot. we're heading into the weekend, so great. good to see you. >> i'm sorry we have to go to break. as somomeone living withth type 2 didiab, i wantnt to kekeep it realal and tatalk about some risisks. with t type 2 diabas you haveve up to 4 t times grgreater risksk of stroke,, heart t attack, oror death. evenen at your a a1c goal, you're s still at ririsk .....which if f ignored could brbring you hehere... ...may p put you inn one ofof those.... ...or evenen worse.

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coach kerr says the team is ready. >> a decade of this for the core guys, it's just about having an opportunity to win another title. we have given ourselves that chance. the circumstances are different every year. there's no need for any motivation this year from -- in terms of seeking a reason to be motivated. i think trying to go back to back is all the motivation we need. >> of course, you can catchall your pre-game coverage on nbc sports bay area and nbc sports california starting at 4:30. the nice weather will continue into the weekend. here is kari hall with your seven day forecast. >> check out the next seven days. big changes ahead. we are enjoying warmer weather for the weekend. upper 60s and low 70s as we continue to get sunshine and nice outdoor conditions. early next week, there will be a cold front coming in.

it's expected to cause our winds to pick up. a temperature drop going from upper 60s to only upper 50s by tuesday. the north bay may see a slight chance of showers. then by wednesday into thursday, we are back to a mix of sun and clouds. temperatures into the low to mid 60s. for san francisco this weekend, cool with gusty winds. we will see pleasant weather with highs in the low 60s and sunshine and more clouds for the start of next week. >> thank you. we will

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