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hello, everyone. i'm kate snow. zinhle essamuah is off today. "nbc news daily" starts right now. now. ♪♪ ♪♪ > fade, friday, december 6, 2024. breaking news, against the clock. a federal appeals court says tiktok must be sold by its chinese parent company or face a ban in the united states. what the ruling means for its millions of users across the u.s. and how the social media giant is responding. searching for answers. investigators are tracking down new clues leading up to the deadly shooting of a health care ceo in manhatta what they're revealing about how the gunman spent his week before the attack. divine re-opening. notre dame cathedral once again welcoming visitors, five years after that devastating fire. we're on the ground with an inside look at the remarkable restoration.

and the end of eras. taylor swift's record-shattering eras tour is wrapping up this weekend. what fans can expect from her final shows. looking forward to talking about that. we begin this busy friday with breaking news involving tiktok, the wildly popular social media app. it's one step closer to being banned in the united states. today a federal appeals court unanimously ruled to uphold the law forcing the app to be sold by its chinese parent company bytedance. the measure was signed by president biden back in april. bytedance has until january 19th to find a buyer. if it does not sell, tiktok could be banned from u.s. app stores. the justice department and numerous lawmakers say the app is a national security threat. they claim china's government will use the data collected from tiktok to spy on americans. tiktok has called the ban unconstitutional and says it has no links to the chinese

government. joining me now savannah sellers. savannah, you've been covering this from the beginning. how is tiktok taking this? >> reporter: so this really all came down to national security concerns. you mentioned unanimous. it was a three-judge panel. they all sided in favor of the government upholding the law, not in favor of tiktok. we didn't know how this would go because tiktok's argument has been free speech and the judges in september seemed somewhat sympathetic to that argument. today we got the unanimous decision. let me read you some of the majority opinion. the first amendment exists to protect free speech in the united states. here the government acted solely to protect that freedom from a foreign adversary and to limit their ability to gather data on people in the united states. this is all linked, as you

brought up, to that chinese ownehip of bytedance and the question of whether or not china can influence what americans are seeing on the app or how they're using the data. tiktok is saying they'll vigorously fight this and take it to the supreme court. they said the supreme court has an established record of protecting americans' right to free speech and we expect they'll do that on this important constitutional issue. unfortunately the tiktok ban was conceived and pushed through with inaccurate and flawed information resulting in censorship of the american people. >> let me go over to angela. if the supreme court agrees to hear the case, how do you see that playing out? >> the question the supreme court would consider in any first amendment case is how compelling is the government interest and the ban tailored enough to address that interest or is it overbroad.

here the appellate court agreed with the government that national security and the interest of the government is strong enough to qualify. i think it's very possible they would agree with this. they also soundly rejected tiktok's other constitutional argument of equal protection give what savannah read on those grounds how we're protecting americans' rights. you can't argue we're limiting rights of a foreign actor and say it's discrimination. we're focussed on the rights of americans and the national security interest doubles down on those american interests that, you know, tiktok doesn't have a claim here. it's possible they would agree with the appellate court. >> savannah sellers, angela cendella, stick around angela. we'll be talking to you again. first, major new develop ms in the manhunt for the gunman who killed a health insurance ceo in new york city. authorities are investigating a bus trip made by their person of

interest, they say, ten days prior to the killing. investigators say a person travelled from atlanta to new york. police in atlanta are now assisting with the investigation. united health care ceo brian thompson was shot and killed as he was heading to an investor conference early wednesday morning. investigators are focusing on new pieces of video evidence that was taken 15 minutes after the shooting, about 30 blocks north of the scene. it shows a man riding an electric bike without the backpack the suspect was seen wearing. that's raising the possibility that maybe he ditched the bag as he was getting away. nbc news correspondent tom winter joins me now onset. tom, you know so much more than i do. let's start with -- i laid a lot of things out there. there seems to be a lot of bits and pieces, a lot of video and photo evidence, but they don't know who this guy is. >> it's bits and pieces as far

as our understanding. for the new york city police department, they've put together a significant timeline. this is reporting from my colleague jonathan dietz. within that timeline ththey hav dozens upon dozens of still images gathered from surveillance video. you've just gone through a fairly significant amount of material that we've been able to uncover, but certainly from a detective standpoint there quite ahead of where we are. they've done that to backtrack where this individual was. he was in new york city for about ten days before the shooting occurred. that's the work going on there. they believe they know how he got here. theyey're gettg a ton of tips. we've seen this photos that we've seen over the last 24 hours, a clear photo of this individual's face. you're looking at one of them. that's helpful. there's a couple good leads they're in the process of trying to rundown and figure out and determine the whereabouts of

this individual. the biggest question of who is this person -- there's no indication they have an i.d. on this person. the second thing is, after that shooting, after he stayed at that hostile, where is he now? >> could he have left new york city? that has to be a question. >> of course. they'll look at everything at this point, look where he was traveling to. did he use his real name? as we reported last night, he took this trip from georgia and had a fake i.d. at the hostile. he's got the fake i.d. at the hostile, paying by cash, not using a credit card. >> it's hard to get out of a city without using a credit card or i.d., get on a plane or get on a -- i don't know. >> a big part to note is they used facial recognition to spot his face coming into the city. we haven't heard anything about him leaving. >> they may know way more than we know. >> safe to assume. time for today's cnbc money

minute. payroll increased more than expected and mcdonald's bringing back a fan favorite. julia borstein joins us now. >> reporter: payroll is up $227,000 on the month, higher than estimates. the unemployment rate edged higher to 4.2% as expected . the ukrainian nonprofit is asking them to stop spacex from launching more satellites. they're arguing the fcc should prevent more than 22,000 low-orbit satellites buzz ecaus concerns of elon musk's ties to russia. and mcdonald's is bringing back a cult favorite menu item, the snack wrap. confirming it will return sometime next year.

the snack wrap, chicken, lettuce and cheese was removed from menus in 2016 and officially discontinued in 2020 when mcdonald's simplified the menu. >> i feel like it has a cult following. some people really liked the snack wrap. julia borstein, thank you. later this hour we are unwrapping spotify's highly anticipated wrapped play list. zinhle takes us behind the scenes to show us how they do it. plus, the u.s. department of agriculture issues a federal order mandating the national order mandating the national milk supply be tested katie! i knew i'd find you here. i know, it's wild. future you. anyway, our doctor figured it out. all that constipation with belly pain that keeps coming back, it's ibs-c. she said linzess could help you get ahead of it. whatta you say? yess!

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we are learning new details today about the shooting of two kindergart students in california and what may have motivated the gunman. the sheriff says the 6-year-old and 5-year-old remain in critical, but stable condition after being shot and badly wounded at feather river, the small religious school located about an hour north of sacramento. authorities have identified the suspect as glenn linton who they say suffered from severe mental health issues. they say he took his own life after shooting the students. joining me now is morgan chesky.

what do we know about how the suspect gained access and why he targeted these children? >> reporter: this investigation still very much ongoing by the sheriff. he attended that school in the past and we learned he set up a meeting with the principal just minutes before he walked on to the playground and began to open fire. the sheriff sharing more details that they uncovered over the last 48 hours. take a listen. >> linton had called the school and made an appointment to speak to an administrator about the possibility of him enrolling his grandson in the school. it appears that story was a ruse to set up an appointment so he could gain access to the campus. >> reporter: two important notes here, kate.

number one, glenn linton does not have a grandchild whatsoever. that's why the authorities are calling it a ruse. number two, this school where he opened fire was not the only school associated with the seventh day that he had an appointment at. there was a separate school he could have shown up to, but authorities say he took his own life after opopening re and he does not have a direct connection to the other campus. >> morgan chesky, thank you. the good news those little boys are improving. akron, ohio, police released body cam video of the shooting jazmir tucker. it shows officers a pproaching tucker after firing and it's raising questions about why it took so long, about seven minutes, for officers to give tucker first aid.

joining me now shaquille brewster. shaq, police say they even counted the 15-year-old with a loaded firearm. the video shows police finding a gun in tucker's zipped up pocket. how are they explaining that? >> reporter: let's show that moment which is disturbing to watch. it's something you hear the police chief and mayor in akron point to as a focus of this investigation. you see they have to unzip that pocket to retrieve the weapon. police originally said it's something that happened on thanksgiving night around 11:00 p.m. they said two officers were in a patrol vehicle and that's when they heard gunshots outside the vehicle. when they exited the vehicle to investigate, they say they encountered this 15-year-old boy. but the video that was released does not have audio of that initial interaction and then there's that moment leading officials to raise several questions about what exactly happened and something that will

be a focus of the main investigation. we heard from tucker's family for the first time after they were able to watch the video earlier today. listen to a little bit of the emotion you heard in their voices. >> just loving, caring, genuine, respectful, a baby, my baby. >> reporter: his mother also expressing concern with the amount of time that it took officers to render aid. when you watch that video, it looks like it took them about seven or eight minutes before aid was provided. >> shaq brewster, thank you. breaking news in the trial of daniel penny where the jury appears to be dead locked. penny put a man named jordan neely into a deadly choke hold on a subway last year. penny has pleaded not guilty to second degree manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide.

the jury told the judge they cannot reach a unanimous verdict on the manslaughter charge. let's get to nbc news correspondent rehema ellis outside the courthouse and also with us legal analyst angela cendella back with us. what's happening right now? they told the judge they can't come to an agreement. now what? >> reporter: well, they're taking a break, kate. what the judge has asked the attorneys to do is look at case law to determine whether or not they can put aside the first count against daniel penny and that is the count on manslaughter in the second degree. the prosecution is not in favor of doing that. the defense on the other hand says, once again, the judge should call for a mistrial in all of this because the jurors are deadlocked. they said since this morning they cannot come to an agreement. the judge sent them back on what's called an alan charge.

telling them to wipe the slate clean, start from the very beginning. let go of the thoughts you had about the case and consider it anew. they did that apparently, but came back again and a few minutes ago the judge got a note saying they were dead locked. they asked for the difference between negligence and recklessness. what happens is the court comes back and reads the law that has been read to the jurors before. my sense is that at this time really not very explanatory in terms of speaking in plain english, if you will. so we're waiting for the judge and lawyers to come back into court with some kind of decision as to what they're going to do going forward. >> angela, let me go to you. what are the chanceness s they forward with the second charge and have the jury consider just that?

>> if the judge doesn't allow that, there's the possibility the prosecution could move to dismiss it. if they dismiss that charge, by default the jury moves on to only discuss the second charge. the second charge of criminally negligent homicide the burden is much lower. it's whether or not there was blameworthy conduct and carries a much lessened prison sentence. it's one acquit entirely and want the lower level charge or it's that all of them agree on the second charge, but they can't agree on the higher charge. there's a real possibility we could get a conviction. >> we'll continue to watch that. rehema ellis, i know you'll stay at your post. angela cendella, thank you. still ahead, nasa is still ahead, nasa is upset stomach iberogast indigestion iberogast bloating iberogast thanks to a unique combination of herbs, iberogast helps relieve six digestive symptoms

to help you feel better. six digestive symptoms. the power of nature. iberogast. hi, my name is damian clark. and if you have both medicare and medicaid, i have some really encouraging news that you'll definitely want to hear. depending on the plans available in your area, you may be eligible to get extra benefits with a humana medicare advantage dual-eligible special needs plan. most plans include the humana healthy options allowance. a monthly allowance to help pay for eligible groceries, utilities, rent, and over-the-counter items like vitamins, pain relievers, first-aid supplies and more. the healthy options allowance is loaded onto a prepaid card each month. and whatever you don't spend, carries over from each month. you can pay nothing for covered prescriptions, all year long. even name-brand drugs. all plans have $0 copays for covered preventive dental services, which include 2 free cleanings a year, as well as fillings. they may

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way to healthcare. when a tough cough finds you on the go, a syrup would be... silly! woo! hey! try new robitussin soft chews. packed with the power of robitussin... in every bite. easy to take cough relief, anywhere. chew on relief, chew on a ♪ robitussin ♪ everyone i'm janelle wang lawmakers told to evacuate from the state capitol this morning. it was because of an email threat, according to information from our sister station in sacramento. authorities are still trying to determine if this threat is credible. but the building now cleared and all staffers are working remotely today. we don't know the exact nature of the threat, but we will continue to bring updates as they come into our newsroom. a full day now since the 7.0 magnitude earthquake along the humboldt coastline, it triggered a tsunami warning from the oregon border down to santa cruz county. and more than 24 hours

later, the earth continues to move there. nbc bay area's kris sanchez has the latest. reporter communities all along our coastline and around the bay area are now assessing damage from yesterday's 7.0 quake, and in some places that means sweeping up glass from items that fell off shelves. but in other places it's heavier work. work crews will be patching up roadways and checking infrastructure. now, while much of the buzz yesterday was about the warnings, we all got on our phones today, a lot of the talk is about what people didn't hear. reporter. i haven't seen that was the sound of emergency sirens in berkeley just after that 7.0 quake triggered the tsunami warning and the evacuation orders for our coastal communities. people in west berkeley heard that in addition to the alerts they got on their phones in san francisco. however, the outdoor public warningystem was sile, not because it wasn't activated, but because it is

offline. and it has been offline since 2019. there appears to be a battle over funding for repair or replacement. a statement from the department of emergency management reads, in part, that it, along with the department of technology, are working together to assess the feasibility of bringing an outdoor public warning system or modern alternative online based on best practices in alert and warning. now, in half moon bay, people who live along the coastline are also wondering why they didn't hear their sirens there. the county office of emergency services sent their own emergency alert to phones, and in some neighborhoods, police people say police officers were driving around with bullhorns telling people to evacuate. the director of emergency services says that their sirens do work. they just weren't activated. but for some residents that didn't feel right. there was a second alert later, so i mean and still no sirens. so we're like, this is saying right now everybody

goes somewhere, but there's no sirens. but there's people, you know, cops running around with bullhorns in neighborhoods. now the tsunami warning expired just about an hour after the warning was triggered, with no major incident. but of course, a lot of the conversations happening around the bay about what happened and what we could do differently. back to you. thanks, chris. we are always tracking the shaking in the bay area. just go to nbc bay area dot com slash quake tracker to make sure you bookmark the site. that's where we list all bay area earthquakes. you can also find resources like what you should pack in your go bag. we've got mostly clear skies and sunshine across the bay area today. here's meteorologist kari hall with the details. our high temperatures today very much like what we've seen throughout the week, with upper 60s and low 70s for the south bay, along with a mostly sunny sky. we also will see a light wind and up to 68 degrees in hayward and oakland, as well as walnut creek and concord, up to 68 degrees

for the coast. it's in the mid 60s, while in palo alto, 69 will be the high today and 66 in downtown san francisco. the marina district in the low 60s and mid 60s for mill valley and santa rosa. we'll see a high of 69 degrees moving ahead. we are going to see more of the above normal temperatures and sunshine, but it will get a little bit cooler. so we'll check that out in our 7-day forecast coming up in about 30 minutes. thanks, kari. it is now or never for the 49ers after three straight losses for the team and now sits in last place in their division. however, the niners are still only two games away from first place. that means a late season run could land them in the playoffs. this sunday, they're going to look to right the ship at home against the chicago bears. won't be easy as the niners are missing running backs. christian mccaffrey and jordan mason. and the availability of star players nick bosa and trent williams. that's still up in the air. don't forget fans. nbc sports bay area will have pregame

coverage starting at noon and 49ers. post game live will air immediately after the game on nbc bay area sports plus. get all the day's news, including your forecast for the weekend on our website, nbcbayarea.com. that does it for this edition of that does it for this edition of an alternative to pills, voltaren is a clinically proven arthritis pain relief gel, which penetrates deep to target the source of pain with nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medicine directly at the source. voltaren, the joy of movement. i am obsessed with olay's retinol body wash. with olay retinol body wash, 95% of women had visibly renewed skin. makes my skin feel so smooth and moisturized. olay body wash & lotion. discover yours. oh, so many medicare plans. that's why you're comparing all in one plans, all in one place with ehealth. oh, hey. based on what we talked about. your doctor. my pharmacy.

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making headlines on "nbc news daily." a police officer in oklahoma city has been charged with aggravated assault and battery after allegedly slamming a 71-year-old man on to the ground during a traffic stop. body cam footage shows sergeant joseph gibson asking the man to sign a citation. he denied that claim saying his car was hit by another vehicle before an argument ensued with officer gibson. the man was hospitalized. gibson is on administrative leave. the four-day search for a pennsylvania woman has ended. elizabeth pollard fell into a sink hole. she went searching for her cat before she was reported missing. takeoff aborted. nasa is pushing its next mission flying four astronauts around the moon from september of next year to april 2026. it's known as the artemis two

mission. in nasa said they needed more time to work out issues with the orion space capsule. they said they'll still be ahead of china's plans to land on the moon by 2030. in today's daily health the u.s. is ordering raw milk to be tested for bird flu. the cdc says the virus has infected hundreds of dairy heard this year. recently a california dairy farm recalled all its raw milk products after the virus was found in several samples. the ceo of the farm told the los angeles times that robert f. kennedy jr.'s transition team encouraged him to apply for a position at the food and drug administration. kennedy was picked by president-elect trump to be health and human services secretary and would oversee the fda. let's bring in dr. patel. let's talk about what the testing is going to do here and

the dangers of drinking raw milk. >> there hasn't been any cases of bird flu in raw milk. bird flu tests at farms, it's something we've been calling for for a long time. if we can detect at the farm level what's happening, we can monitor any spread and contain it quickly. what you don't want is it not to be detected, leading up to the 52 cases we have today with three recent cases where we're not sure about the transmission. that indicates a potential spread. with raw milk separately, there's a lot that can happen, including dangerous bacteria, salmonella, e. coli and can lead to illness, vomiting, diarrhea for older people, young people and pregnant women. no health benefit of raw milk in

the evidence we know of yet. >> just to put an emphasis on it, the milk being tested is not pasteurized yesterday. most of us drink pasteurized milk. we won't get bird flu in that, is that right? >> absolutely right. >> what are the symptoms of bird flu and how concerned are health officials about it spreading? >> depending on how you get the bird flu, a lot of cases are very mild and flu-like symptoms, fatigue, muscle aches, vomiting. that depends on how you in gest it. if you breathe in viruses and get it through your lungs, it can have a dramatic lung presentation. we haven't seen that. what we've seen is raw milk getting squirted at the farms in the eyes. you can have eye symptoms, red,

itchy eyes. >> dr. patel, valuable information. thank you. tonight, in an "nbc nightly news" exclusive lester holt sits down with the faa administrator. boeing has been, as you know, under intense scrutiny this year, starting in january when that door plug blew off a plane during an alaska airlines flight. lester asks the faa administrator about boeing's next steps following a lengthy strike. >> is boeing too big to fail? >> well, i would say they failed. i think if you look at what happened in january, that was a failure. they're going through a pretty substantial reset. they have the resources to do this reset and rebuild in a much higher quality, safer manner. that's this process.

>> whitaker toured boeing's facilities. he said they were prioritizing production over safety and quality. watch that interview tonight on "nbc nightly news" with lester holt. excitement is building for the long-awaited re-opening of the notre dame cathedral in paris this weekend. it's been five years since the iconic church was destroyed in a devastating fire. world leaders will be in attendance tomorrow including president-elect donald trump and current first lady jill biden. nbc news correspondent kelly cobiella joins me now from paris. kelly, i know you have spent a lot of time looking at the cathedral and the whole process of rebuilding. what can we expect at the ceremony tomorrow? i think it's being moved indoors. >> reporter: there's a wind warning for tomorrow so organizers thought it was best

to move the festivities indoors. what we'll see outside is the very magical, religious pageantry of the archbishop of paris knocking on the door three times and each time hearing the choir sing back. it's meant to symbolize a dialogue between god and his worshippers and the faithful. that will happen three times and the doors will open. the thing that's really changed is that president macron will be speaking inside the cathedral. this is a big deal. it goes against centuries of tradition in france for political leaders not to speak inside notre dame. organizers clearly thought it was prudent to make an exception because of the problems with the weather. then we're going to see a ceremony in three parts. there will be the awakening of the organ, a section of prayer and hymns and then the final blessing. it should be filled with color

and pageantry and really a goosebump moment. >> speaking of goosebumps, give us a sense what it's like inside there for those of us who can't go? >> reporter: i think -- i was very fortunate to see parts of the cathedral that the public won't see. for example, the roof trusses, the huge oak beams which were replaced. hand carved and held together by wood. not a single piece of metal was used to reconstruct that oak roof. it's now completely covered. what will be really, really special, not just for me, but for all the artisans who worked inside, is seeing the entire cathedral as one and seeing it come alive again with people, with prayer inside. >> kelly cobiella, thank you so much. it is the end of an era, or should i say eras. after nearly two years, taylor

swift's eras tour wraps up sunday in vancouver. emilie ikeda is on the ground for us. >> reporter: fans flocking to vancouver are not ready for the curtain to close. swifties gearing up for a weekend of their wildest dreams, waiting hours for merch and trading friendship bracelets along the way. >> i've given away four bracelets already. >> reporter: fans will find a city be jewelled in all things taylor. police horses are sporting friendship bracelets. call it the swift effect with 150,000 swifties attending and over 80,000 hotel rooms booked. the department of transportation warning of extra traffic and

longer wait time at the u.s./canadian border. airports are seeing a surge in travellers too. >> we're seeing swifties go above and i don't think to beyo vancouver, paying 66% more to get there. >> reporter: the cheapest ticket topped $700 for the final night. that's for a spot behind the stage, something the pop star opened up for the first time. >> hands are shaking because i just got tickets to the last show of the eras tour. >> reporter: the eras tour has played in sold-out stadiums in 50 cities on five continents. we've been there for the record-breaking ride, from the kickoff in arizona and fans arriving to concerts in style. it's a $7 billion impact across

the u.s. and canada. ♪ only a fortnite ♪ >> reporter: swift was crowned spotify's most streamed artist, calling it the most extraordinary chapter of her life so far. ♪ i can make the whole place shimmer ♪ >> reporter: as she gets ready to make the whole place shimmer one last time. emilie ikeda, nbc news. all this week people have been talking about spotify wrapped, the look back at your music play list over the year. we wanted to know how the company shows users their year in music and what's changed for 202424. zinhle essamuah went behind the scenes to unwrap spotify wrapped. >> reporter: like it or not, you probably know your spotify wrapped. >> we don't have a genre section. what's going on? >> every song i love that i forgot about is in there. >> reporter: the streaming giant unveiling its annual recap of

users' favorite music and artists. >> we look at the data in the beginning of january and go through just a few weeks before we launch. >> reporter: we stopped by spotify to get an inside look at the company's process. >> what wrapped is about is your listening. we look at things like when you listened to artists the most, where you had the most distinctive listening. >> reporter: dominating the charts this year, female artists. the top eight albums all by women and taylor swift earned the top spot as the most streamed artist in the world. genres experienced a renaissance too. ♪ this ain't texas ♪

>> beyonce with "cowboy carter." we saw 36 million people, first-time listeners of country music and that's directly due to beyonce and "cowboy carter." >> i was one of them. >> reporter: spotify used artificial intelligence to create podcasts where a.i. hosts talk about your list, and of course, there's a.i. deejay. >> up next, the few artists who ruled the world this year. >> x is the voice behind the voice, and he revealed my year-end review including my top artist -- >> beyonce is your top artist of the year. you're so relieved right now. >> praise god. praise god. >> reporter: my pension for podcasts -- >> you want to know your top podcasts? >> i'm curious. >> what do you think? >> is it a news podcast? >> nbc news with lester holt. >> reporter: and the song i could get out of my head. >> sabrina carpenter "espresso" is your top song. how do you feel about that? >> i get that. i'm a macha girl, but for her, i would drink espresso. ♪ think about me ♪ >> you listened to it a lot. you were in the top 0.01% of listeners. >> reporter: spotify says wrapped is a celebration of the fans, artists and creators.

>> music moves us. >> reporter: zinhle essamuah,

in today's mental health check, we're talking about a type of grief that many older americans are experiencing, but they don't usually talk about

it. it's the unspoken grief of never becoming a grandparent. there was an article recently in "the new york times" that got a lot of attention. it says a growing number of americans are choosing not to have children and their parents are grappling with what that means to them. joining me now is psychiatrist and author dr. gail saltz. thanks for being with us. this is a talker. i feel like people my age and older are talking about this a lot. why are so many young people do you think choosing not to have kids in the first place? >> there's been a mindset change for this generation compared to the last. some of it is changes in the society and environment. a lot of worries and pessimism about the future and the feeling of do i want to bring a child into what i perceive to be the future. economic stresses that didn't exist for this generation, do exist. student loans and housing prices and so on.

just a change in mindset what it means to be a successful adult is not necessarily having a child. >> it is potentialally affecng that relationship with their own parents. talk about that and what are the potential grandparents who aren't going to be grandparents supposed to do? >> whenever your child is different from you or makes different decisions from you, that can be difficult. big or small. who they married or will they get married? the choice to have children. it can feel like a recrimination of your parenting, which it is not. it feels that way. it's the loss of the fantasy of repeating having children yourself and what it would be like to be a grandparent. that fantasy is very real for us and it really feels like a loss when it's lost. >> how do you start that conversation? i guess i'm thinking of if you're the older generation and you want to talk about it. what do you say? >> the first order of business is why are you upset about it? is it a sadness over a loss? is it an anger because you feel like you're being blamed for

something you didn't do. then you go to them and you're curious and you listen. why are you making this decision, et cetera? then you turn back to yourself. i have to accept when my child makes a different decision. i want to maintain a good adult relationship. how can i feed this need for myself? humans do have a need. they have a need to nurture the next generation. there are many other ways to do that. you could teach. you could foster. you could volunteer. you could coach. you could focus on the environment and helping the next generation with that. you could focus on many things. acknowledging that need in yourself and thinking about how you can fulfill that will help you to, a, feel less sad and, b, feel less blaming of your child who you're expecting to fill that need for yourself. >> it's never a good idea to say you should have kids, i want grandkids.

>> first of all, if your child doesn't want a child, that grandchild will not farewell. it's not a great idea to have a child unless you're committed to doing it. you don't really want that. forcing them to do that will just create a divide between you and your child. that matters so much to you. so, no, in any large life decision that you think they fully considered and you've rticipated with them in understanding how they considered it, don't force you child into making that kind of a big decision. >> it is a huge decision to make. >> life changing. >> this was really instructive. i appreciate it. you got us thinking about ideas to open that dialogue and that conversation. gail, thank you again. much more news ahead. you're watching "nbc news daily." before taking breztri for my copd, i had bad days. days ruined by flare-ups [cough] that could permanently damage my lungs.

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clear it up. city leaders in las vegas approved the team's plans for a stadium on the strip. stadium authority leaders finalized preliminary work on the stadium yesterday in a special meeting. they approved all the remaining issues, including lease and development agreements. construction is expected to begin in the spring, and the a's plan to start playing there in 2028. in the meantime, the team will play its home games at sutter health park in sacramento. the bay area's newest basketball team has an arena, a head coach and new uniforms. but they are missing one thing the players. we're talking about the golden state valkyries. they will become the 13th wnba team next season. and tonight the league is holding

its expansion draft. the valkyries will be able to select from a pool of players from other wnba rosters, and the team can choose only one player from each other team for a maximum of 12 players. the draft will be held at san francisco's museum of modern art, and it tips off at 330. this afternoon. the show will go on. we are talking about the san francisco ballet's nutcracker. the season was in jeopardy as the dancers and ballet company struggled to reach contract negotiations. the dancers wanted better wages and safety measures following a rise in worker compensation claims last season. today, the company announced it has made a tentative deal with the dancers. the season will be kicking off as planned. the first show starts at 7 p.m. tomorrow at the war memorial opera house in san francisco, and one of the bay area's favorite holiday tradition returns tomorrow. it's caltrans annual holiday train this morning they gave us a sneak preview. the train is

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i'm craig melvin. and this is dateline daytime on nbc. abt my mom that has captured the heart of so many people.