♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to pamela anderson, andrew rannells, lil baby, once again! [ cheers and applause ] "wham." and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. thank you for watching. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." good night everybody, bye bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- quinta brunson, actor and comedian matt rogers,

an all new "closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody and a happy new year. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, i think we're going to get to the news. president-elect donald trump held a press conference today at mar-a-lago and spoke for more than an hour, leaving reporters no time to ask him a second question. [ laughter ] during the senate swearing in ceremony on friday, the husband of republican senator deb fischer appeared to refuse to shake hands with vice president kamala harris. can't say i'm surprised. look at that guy. looks like the bad guy in every oscar-winning movie about the south. [ laughter ] at an event over the weekend, celebrating the signing of the social security fairness act, president biden appeared to forget the name of an attendee while leaving the room and singing "happy birthday." [ laughter ] and he's definitely getting old, 'causet was jill. [ laughter and applause ]

president biden was interviewed over the weekend by "usa today," which is set to be published tomorrow. so if you want to read it, you only have a few minutes left to check into a la quinta. [ laughter ] a federal judge held rudy giuliani in contempt of court yesterday for failing to provide financial documents to poll workers he defamed after the 2020 election. also holding giuliani in contempt? the sketch artist. president-elect trump reportedly hosted a christmas eve event last month at his mar-a-lago club that even featured an appearance from frosty. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] krispy kreme has partnered with the maker of pop-tarts to offer a new selection of donuts, including a frosted brown sugar cinnamon donut with a cream cheese buttercream frosting and topped with a mini pop tart bite. and that should give you the

energy you need to finally give back the ring. [ laughter ] the fda yesterday announced new maximum levels for lead in baby foods. well, it's a little late now! [ laughter ] the lead voted. the nfl concluded its regular season over the weekend, and not as new yorkers thought, in september. [ laughter ] and finally, according to a new report, some new yorkers are scratching off or painting over digits on their license plates to avoid the city's new congestion toll. luckily the standard new jersey license plate comes pre-blurred. [ laughter ] and that was the monologue, everybody. we're off and running. look at us go. [ cheers and applause ] look at us go. we got a great show for you tonight. she is the emmy and peabody award winning creator and star of "abbott elementary." the new season returns tomorrow on abc, and the next day on hulu. the great quinta brunson will be here, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] quinta's here! he's a fantastic comedian. he's an actor.

you know him from the film, "fire island" and his wonderful podcast "las culturistas," that he hosts with bowen yang. currently, he's starring in the netflix series "no good deed," streaming now. our friend matt rogers is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] my brother and i talked to the wonderful patrick j. adams this week, available on "family trips with the myers brothers." do give that a listen. moving on, everybody. president-elect donald trump is starting off the new year by threatening to take over a bunch of foreign countries right before he gets sentenced for a felony conviction, after which he will, instead of going to jail, become the president. [ laughter ] of this country. and he held an insane press conference today to complain about it. not the best time to commit to dry january. [ laughter ] but i'm a man of mword. see? this right here? this is water. ah. [ laughter ] [ cough ] [ applause ] for more on this, it's time for "a closer look."

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: well, our holiday hiatus is over and what a welcome back for us. in one of the most insane press conferences he's ever had, tied for the most insane with all the other press conferences he's everer had, dold trump is about to face sentencing for a felony conviction and be inaugurated as the president of the united states again. claimed among other things that special counsel jack smith executes people, wayne gretzky should run for prime minister of canada, electric heaters make you itchy, faucets have no water, said he's going to rename the gulf of mexico the gulf of america, and he won't rule out using the military to take over greenland. my man is in midseason form already. [ laughter ] this brings us to a segment called, "i can't believe we're [ bleep ] doing this again." [ laughter ] we had a whole -- we had a whole "closer look" written this morning about all the major news stories that had already happened over the break, like congress certifying trump's win, or the gop almost shutting down the government and threatening

to oust their own speaker, mike johnson, or trump complaining about the panama canal, or rudy giuliani being found in contempt of court, or maga and elon musk breaking out into a vicious civil war over immigration. and not to belabor the point, but this was the nice thing about the biden era. there was never late breaking news midday. [ laughter ] things were quieter. you might even say sleepier. sleepy joe we called him. oh, [ bleep6] i guess it was a good nickname after all. [ laughter ] but now that's all out the window. we got to tear up our script and start over. by the way, this already happened almost exactly eight years ago when i had to shred the scri for "a closer look" after trump's first press conference as president, which was similarly insane. i can't believe we're doing this all over again. except, you know, this time i'm not wearing a suit. hell, if things keep going this way, by the end of trump's term, i won't be wearing clothes at all. [ laughter ] and by the way -- [ cheers and applause ] by the way -- we blurred my upper body because i didn't want to make anyone feel bad for me. [ laughter ]

by the way, that's all about to change. my three new year's resolutions? one, get swole. two, start a podcast with some other swole white guys. three, wield actual influence over voters as opposed to whatever this is. [ laughter ] i'm not jacked enough to listen to! now if trump were a sane human with a normal brain, he'd be taking a victory lap. congress just certified his election victory yesterday, and there wasn't even a liberal insurrection to overturn the results. i didn't see a single democrat break a window or attack a police officer or take a dump in trump's office, even though his office is also his bathroom. [ laughter ] that's where all his important papers are. but rather than celebrate his win and lay out his agenda, trump is, as always, whining about everyone being mean to him. apparently he's mad about the fact that special counsel jack smith was preparing to release his report on the cases against trump, before trump's hand-picked judge temporarily blocked it. trump is also mad that judge juan merchan will sentence trump in the hush money case before the inauguration, which will officially make trump the first convicted felon to ever be inaugurated as president.

>> this morning, donald trump is waging a last stand against t special counsel jack smith. the president-elect's legal team filing a motion to block what they call the imminent release of smith's final report in the classified documents case. the federal case against trump has already been dismissed, but this report is a final chance for smith to make his case in the court of public opinion. >> breaking news involving president-elect trump's hush money case in manhattan. we just learned the judge e has set a sentencing date. >> the trump team had asked judge juan merchan to dismiss this case, but today, the judge said no, dismissing ththe trump team's motions instead. >> judge merchan scheduled a sentencing for january 10th, just ten days before trump's inauguration. we are talking about t the criminal case here involving stormy daniels and hush money. but judge merchan says trump doesn't have to show up in person, can attend virtually. >> seth: that's right. trump can attend the hush money sentencing hearing via zoom because he's busy getting ready to become president of the uni --

you know, sorry. one sec, i just got to drink little bit more of this. it's just water, just water. [ laughter ] that's not the only thing trump is mad about, of course. there's a bunch of other stuff, too. although it's pretty impossible to follow. see if you can make sense of any of this. >> we are inheriting a difficult situation from the outgoing administration and they're trying everything they can tomake it more difficult. we won the popular vote by millions and millions of people, nobody knows how many people. even to this day, they're playing with the courts and their friendly judges. i defeated deranged jack smith. he's a deranged individual. but we did nothing wrong. we did nothing wrong on anything. i call it the injustice department. the 625 million acres people can't -- that's like the whole ocean. i don't think we should have to go to the courts, but if we do have to go to the courts, you know, they try to be sneaky. you don't have a judge working real hard to try and embarrass you, because i did nothing

wrong. by the way, i did nothing, absolutely nothing wrong. that's a sick group of people. he's a mean guy. he's a mean, nasty guy. his picture was perfect because you look at his picture, you say, "that's a bad guy," with his robe, his purple robe. and he executes people. he shouldn't be allowed to execute people because he'll execute everybody. he's a nut job. gas heater is much less expensive, the heat is much better, it's a much better heat. as the expression goes, you don't itch. when you buy a faucet, no water comes out because they want to preserve. even in areas that have so much water, you don't know what to do. it's called rain. it comes down from -- comes down from heaven. and they want to do no water comes out of the shower. it goes drip, drip, drip. >> seth: drip, drip, drip is also a great description of this press conference. [ laughter ] also is it called rain? [ light laughter ] let's try to break some of this down, one by one. first of all, there's this.

>> we won the popular vote by millions and millions of people. nobody even knows how many people. [ laughter ] >> seth: no, we know. we definitely know. you won by a little over 2 million. so not millions and millions, but you know, million and million. [ laughter ] still, a win is a win, even though you didn't get 50%. i also do love this. >> i call it the injustice department. >> seth: really good joke. that sounds like the title of a bugs bunny cartoon where he's a judge. [ laughter ] you're a real wordsmith. you sound like a fifth grader who just discovered double entendre. "jack smith isn't just a debater, he's a master debater." [ laughter ] [ applause ] but this -- but this part really confused me. >> his picture was perfect because you look at his picture, you say, "that's a bad guy," with his robe, his purple robe. and he executes people. >> seth: okay, now i think he's referring to this picture of jack smith in a purple robe, worn by prosecutors at the

hague, where he worked. but it's also very possible that trump thinks jack smith is a wizard. [ laughter ] "you know, he executes people. he uses the killing curse. avada kedavra, they call it. it's one of the unforgivable curses. it's unforgivable. and i realize that by saying it out loud, i have caused rudy to drop dead. but don't worry. he's died before and he always gets back up. we love rudy." trump's also mad that biden just banned oil and gas drilling on 625 million coastal acres in the atlantic and pacific oceans. and trump tried to explain why he was mad in a way that clarified absolutely nothing. >> the 625 million acres. people can't realize, that's like the whole ocean. think an acre. you know, an acre. you have a house on a half an acre, on a quarter of an acre or an acre. if you have an acre, you have a big deal. now you multiply that by 625 million acres.

it's like, feels like the whole ocean. [ light laughter ] >> seth: none of that makes any sense. [ laughter ] this sounds like an s.a.t. math problem written by a dog who just smoked weed. [ laughter ] you can't just say imagine one acre, then multiply it by 625 million, it doesn't help. google maps doesn't describe how bad the traffic is by saying, "okay, imagine you're behind one car, now multiply that by a thousand." [ laughter ] "now you have a thousand cars, so plan your trip accordingly." [ laughter ] but probably the craziest part of the press conference came when a reporter asked trump about his recent obsession with taking over greenland and the panama canal. and trump refused to rule out using military force. >> let's start, if we could, with your references to greenland and panama canal. can you assure the world that as you try to get control of these areas, you are not going to use military or economic coercion? >> no. >> can you tell us a little bit

about what your plan is? are you going to negotiate a new treaty? are you going to ask the canadians to hold a vote? what is the strategy. >> i can't assure you, you're talking about panama and greenland. no, i can't assure you on either of those two. >> seth: i'd like to say something to donald trump about his threat to take greenland by military force that might take some of our viewers by surprise. do it! [ laughter ] do it, you coward! go get greenland, you coward! fix my shower and get me greenland! [ cheers and applause ] or don't show me your face ever again. i'm calling your bluff, bro. i'm call -- stop making these crazy promises. do it! i want it, go get it. [ laughter ] why won't you get it? you afraid of denmark, bro? [ laughter ] you starting to remember they got those big ass dogs? by the way, this is how you know trump's not going to take on china. he talked a big game, but now he's backing down and threatening greenland instead. [ laughter ]

he's going to keep downgrading to smaller and smaller countries. russia is gonna do whatever it wawants whilhe, like, threatens peru. "we're coming. we're going to get machu picchu back where it belongs." [ laughter ] trump's also been making a bunch of unhinged claims about absorbing canada as the 51st state, and even made a suggestion about who their next prime minister should be. >> i have so many great friends. one of them is the great one, wayne gretzky. i said run for prime minister, you'll win in a -- it'll take two seconds. >> seth: i mean now i think trump picked wayne gretzky because that's the only canadian he knows. [ laughter ] "i also think the prime minister of ireland should be the lucky charms mascot i think." [ laughter ] now, if you're someone who voted for trump because you thought he'd bring down inflation or make housing or health care more affordable, bad news. he didn't talk about any of that, because he's not going to do it. but he unveiled a very cool consolation prize that i think you're going to be very excited about. >> we're going to be changing the name of the gulf of mexico to the gulf of america. >> seth: so, bad news.

groceries will still be expensive. good news, everybody's getting new maps. bad news, maps are super expensive due to inflation. [ laughter ] although i doubt the rest of the world's gonna go along with this change. so if you live in america, you know, you're probably just gonna have to bust out a sharpie. [ laughter ] maybe he can do something about the word "gulf," too. nobody likes that word. no one knows what that means. it's not really a gulf. >> it's like the whole ocean. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we'll be right back with quinta brunson, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. the booking ap p i used didn't have agentforce. so an ai agent didn't know to move my reservations inside... ...or know what i like to eat, which is not that.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight is the emmy and peabody award winning creator and star of the hit show "abbott elementary," which returns tomorrow night on abc. and streams the next day on hulu. let's take a look. >> all right, so maybe you can hang up the kids' drawings while i just help them with the lesson. >> you got it. >> cool. >> penn, oh hell yeah. >> yeah, penn. i went to penn. i'm so sorry. that's a knee jerk reaction i have. >> don't you dare apologiz i went there, too. >> what? >> yeah, i basically lived on locust walk. >> as you should, because how else are you going to get to smoky joe's? >> smoky joe's!

no way! >> hello? >> oh, hi, okay, just go ahead and double check your work if you're finished, okay? >> yeah, and remember to write your name at the top. >> yeah, they always forget to do that. you are a natural. >> i appreciate you seeing me. >> seth: please welcome back to the show, our friend, quinta brunson, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: hello, friend. >> hi. >> seth: i would say it's been a long time, but it has not been a long time. >> it has not. has it even been 24 hours? >> seth: i mean, a little bit. i saw you at golden globes which is one of the great honors of being at the globes is running into old friends. >> i know. that is the best part. it was really nice to see you. it's nice to just look across the room and see seth meyers, not to have to fly to new york to do so. >> seth: i believe i'd already lost, and then i went over and

said hi to you and brought my bad luck just right over. [ light laughter ] >> no, it's okay. we're losers. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, being able to own it like that. >> we're losers, baby. we're losers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: but i will say the victory, which we were talking backstage -- of course the real -- like, being nominated is really cool. doing a show is the best thing, and you're in your fourth season of a show. which is harder then than even getting nominated for a globe is doing a television show four seasons. >> you're so right. and you were nominated for your stand-up special. >> seth: i was, yes. >> it's crazy because you're not even nominated for this amazing show you do. >> seth: oh, well that's very nice of you to say. >> night after night. [ cheers and applause ] but, it's crazy. but yeah, the real honor is being able to make tv and people actually see it. and on top of seeing it, they like it. >> seth: yeah, those are the boxes you want to tick. >> those are the boxes you want to tick. and so, as much as we appreciate nominations and awards, it really is just an honor to have a show that -- if two people liked it, that's nice.

now you don't know if anyone is going to see the show. you don't if you're gonna get sent to streaming. >> seth: yeah, just like way back in the back of like -- >> in the back of peacock, no offense nbc. [ light laughter ] but i don't know.. seth: like you're in that weird liike -- people also hated. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> seth: why is that a category? >> why is that a category? >> seth: one of the things about enduring as a show is this very cool episode you have coming up. people, if they're a fan of both shows will know, that's sweet dee from "always sunny." and this is a crossover episode of two shows that take place in philadelphia, "abbott elementary" and "always sunny." how did this idea come to pass? >> ran into rob, and the "always sunny" gang. and i had already met them at the emmys -- two emmys ago. >> seth: yes. >> it was so lovely to meet them. i never met them before, i've been a fan for such a long time. the show is about philadelphia, as everyone knows. [ cheers ]

and -- but at upfronts we really got to talking, and we were like should we really try to do this? there's nothing that's in our way necessarily. we're under the same umbrella company, which is disney. which means we can get away with this. >> seth: yep. [ light laughter ] >> let's just try to see what happens. so we talked about it, and talked about it. and there was a very easy in actually that you guys will see, you know, if you watch the show on wednesday, something that really made it simple for us to be able to do it. and i talked to my producers. they said something i hate to hear because then i'm going to do it, they said it can't be done. [ light laughter ] and i was like, well, now i have to do it. and fortunately rob is a lot like me. we want to do things because people say we can't. >> seth: this also is a thing that when you were growing up, you were drawn to the crossover episode. >> i love the crossover episode. do you remember when steven urkel was on -- >> seth: "law & order." [ laughter ] >> he probably was at one point.

no, he was on "full house." >> seth: oh, okay. >> do you remember that? >> seth: no. that's a little after my time. >> right. [ laughter ] so young. >> seth: you're so young. >> but that kind of stuff used to really get me going. my mind would be blown -- "oh, my god he's with dj and stephanie, they don't know he's steve." there was a big event that happened when i was younger, before you were born, which was "the wizards of waverly place" -- [ cheers and applause ] crossover with "that's so raven" and "hannah montana." >> seth: oh, m my god. [ cheers and applause ] >> wait, and "sweet life," so it was "that's so sweet life of hannah montana." >> seth: wow. >> right. am i missing something? anywyway, i ju like event television. >> seth: really? i mean, i feel like it's -- >> it doesn't happen that much. >> seth: and so, just to clarify too that there's two episodes. they're on an episode of "abbott" and then there's an episode of "sunny" that's coming in a bit. >> yes, so the "sunny" gang is on an episode of "abbott." if you're a fan of "abbott," it's going to feel like a regular "abbott" episode.

if you have never seen "it's always sunny," you won't know the difference. there'll just be these white people on the show all of a sudden. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. and they're good actors. they're all very -- >> they're so good. >> seth: they're very good at being white people, all of them. [ laughter ] >> and then, if you watch "always sunny," there is an episode that's the other end of them showing up to "abbott." so you're getting two sides of a story. >> seth: tonally, they're very different shows. i mean, you have a really fun for the whole family network show. that show is -- >> is not that. [ laughter ] not that at all. >> seth: are you concerned about your fans when they go and sort of dabble? >> i'm very concerned. i've actually been advising our fans to not watch their show. [ laughter ] i have been, i just think you probably shouldn't turn it on. you don't have to watch it, just watch the "abbott" episode. >> seth: that's good. >> sorry, you guys. to the "sunny" people. but noit's really exciting. and it was really nice watching them work. they're a well-oiled machine. they've been going i think 17 seasons now. and they're ensemble comedy like

we are, and to watch them be so fine tuned, i was just like learning from them. my favorite kind of learning is were i'm not being taught. i'm just able to take in what it's like to work that well with each other after so long. >> seth: it's really cool, i'm very in awe of them. 17 seasons never happens. and so it's really amazing they've kept the quality up as long as they have. >> how long has this show been on? >> seth: 11, and everybody says the quality is -- [ laughter ] >> really -- >> seth: yeah, yeah. but that's all my staff which is like -- >> yeah, true, true, true. >> seth: you had a -- it was not a crossover but you had a cameo, you had some eagles on your show, philadelphia eagles. >> i did. i did have eagles. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: they are -- they seem very well-positioned -- i know you're veryt busy, so you can't go to like playoff games, but if the eagles made the super bowl, would you be there? >> i will be there with bells on. i would be there with bells on. i don't even want to talk about it, because i don't want to jinx it. >> seth: yeah, i'm that kind of fan, too. >> yeah, i don't want to talk about it, but yeah, i would be therem without a doubt.

>> seth: this isn't quite a super bowl, but i feel like it is maybe the same as far as career achievement. you got to do "sesame ststreet." >> i got to do "sesame street." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and you got grover. >> you said what? >> seth: you got grover. >> i got grover. i got some heavy hitters, i had grover. i had a segment with the elmo. >> seth: wow. >> cookie, the monster. >> seth: wow. [ light laughter ] >> and new lil chick they got, what is her name? amber? >> seth: abby cadabby. >> abby cadabby. >> seth: by the way, i love -- now i'm seeing how old you are, 'cause she's been around for like 20 years. [ laughter ] like, you're not as old as me, but abbey being new? come on. >> but you have babies. >> seth: i do have babies. >> you have babies. i don't have any kids to keep me up to date on the latest muppets. >> seth: i got the count, which god love him, is the worst one. >> oh you got the count? [ light laughter ] why? >> seth: it's just so much counting. [ laughter ] like, it's literly impossible to have a conversation with him that's not about counting. [ light laughter ] >> cookie monster is kind of like that with the whole cookie thing. it's like, we get it, you like cookies. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you know, even when

you're like looking at him, you're like, you're not listening to me. >> you're not really listening. [ laughter ] you're thinking about cookies. >> seth: you're thinking about cookies. >> you're thinking about -- and like, come here. between me and you, did you have a vegetable today? [ laughter ] eating vegetables aren't you? and he's like, "no, me no have vegetables." [ laughter ] >> seth: "cookie be honest with you." while we're talking about your age, the first time you were here was for a book you had written. it was before -- i remember the end of our first interview, i said also you have a -- you sold a pilot called "abbott elementary." >> yes. >> seth: which is crazy. what an amazing journey. >> isn't that crazy? >> seth: but you wrote a book "she memes well," and i remember thinking you are sort of this, like, young person who's plugged into youth culture. and now you have a show surrounded by people younger than you, like the kids, wonderful kid actors. >> they're so good. >> seth: do you feel like they're now informing you in the way that you used to inform me? [ light laughter ] >> what do you think -- i'm not clear on what you think our age difference is now. [ laughter ] i don't know if you know -- anyway -- >> seth: i'm 71 years old. [ laughter ] >> i think that i'm around these

kids keep me young, but i also think there are things i shouldn't know about. you know, they'll say something on set, and they'll be like, "you don't know about that?" and i'm like, "yeah, i'm not up to date on what the latest 7-year-old drama, i am an adult, i have bills, try having having a 401(k). [ laughter ] you wouldn't know about that stuff either. >> seth: is that when your producers come over and like -- [ light laughter ] >> hey, hey, easy, easy. no i'm kidding. no, they're sweetie pies. but they -- i've accepted the fact that i am old. and i say that lovingly. you know. there's so much they know about that i just don't have the time to focus on. >> seth: yeah. >> i don't have the free time. >> seth: it's nice to let go of that, and be like, "go youths." [ light laughter ] >> be free. >> seth: have your own culture, youths. >> be free, be free. when tiktok first came out which wasn't that long ago, i just was like, you know what, i'm older than that now. i still don't know how to work tiktok, you guys. i really don't know how to -- >> seth: me either. >> make it work. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> but -- we both have shows. so i think we're okay.

>> seth: i do ask my assistants to film videos of tiktok on their phone and then i watch those. [ light laughter ] >> why? >> seth: i just don't want to do the interface. [ light laughter ] i just like to give them work. i just like -- [ laughter ] >> you do. 'cause there are many other ways to view that. >> seth: yep, nope, that's how i like to do it. i like to film it, then they put it on vhs, and then i go home -- [ laughter ] and sit down, light my pipe, watch my tiktoks. >> watch your tiktoks, i love that. i like to watch my tiktoks through twitter. i call it by its god-given name. [ light laughter ] but i don't like the app. want them to come to me. >> seth: exactly. >> through via a message in -- or i like it to turn into a reel on instagram, and then i will see it. but i will not go see a tiktok. >> seth: sometimes i print them out, do that thing where you go -- [ laughter ] >> sometimes i aol instant message myself a tiktok. because that's how i -- >> seth: i hope all the kids are writing this down, cause this is

good way to do tiktok. it is so lovely to see you as always. >> i love being here. thank you seth. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: quinta brunson, everybody. "abbott elementary" wednesday nights at 8:30 on abc. streams the next day on hulu. we'll be right back with matt rogers. [ cheers and applause ] matt rogers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i told myself i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms... ...with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after trying a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq works differently. rinvoq is a once-daily pill that can rapidly relieve joint pain, stiffness, and swelling as fast as 2 weeks for some. and even at the 3-year mark, many people felt this relief. rinvoq can stop joint damage. and in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear. rinvoq can lower ability to fight infections. before treatment, test for tb and do bloodwork. serious infections, blood clots, some fatal; ...cancers, including lymphoma and skin; serious allergic reactions; gi tears; death; heart attack; and stroke occurred.

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huge hit. >> seth: oh, my god. what a nice thing for you to point them to. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah, go to tiktok, you're going to love tiktok. >> seth: how are you? >> i'm really good. >> seth: oh, great. >> i could be better. >> seth: okay. >> i went to miami for new year's, which sounds fun. like in its own -- >> seth: yeah, the beginning of that, is that beginning of a fun story. >> yeah, i absolutely plummeted down the stairs at a gay circuit party. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] can i ask a question? >> sure. >> seth: what's a gay circuit party? [ light laughter ] >> so, i'm unhappy you asked. [ light laughter ] 'cause now i have to kind of say what it is. >> seth: you could have just said a party. [ light laughter ] >> you know, it's sort of like -- it's gays on the circuit. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> imagine like a thousand shirtless gay men -- >> seth: uh huh, done! >> yeah, great. [ laughter ] are you guys good? you guys got it? [ cheers ] the whole audience is shirtless gay men by the way, you did amazing. this is a circuit party in here. >> seth: i know, we're not going to cut to them, but yes. >> so, i didn't even really want -- it's not really my

scene, but i had a couple of drinks and it became my scene. >> seth: great, yeah. >> and so, then i went to like descend some stairs to sort of join the fray, and the stairs were wet. >> seth: okay. >> it was not my fault. the stairs were wet. >> seth: how bad a fall. >> like, you know how there's like -- when i say steps, there's way more than one step? i hit like each of the steps. [ light laughter ] >> seth: is that when where the rest of the people there being like, "this might not be his scene?" >> i'm so thankful it was full of other gay idiots doing things, because they were so distracted by each other, that no one saw the bleached blonde idiot tumbling down the stairs. but i bruised my tailbone. this is very uncomfortable, doing this. >> seth: wow. >> i look comfortable, i'm not. [ light laughter ] >> seth: wow, you really are pushing through in a way that would completely betray your discomfort. >> the drug i'm on now, which was different than the gay circuit party. [ laughter ] it's tylenol extra strength. i love the stuff. >> seth: great. >> yeah. >> seth: well, it loves you

obviously, because you look great, and you feel great. did you enjoy watching the globes? was there anything that you took from the evening? >> can i say, i hadn't seen "the substance" prior to the globes. have you guys watched "the substance?" >> seth: "the substance" is -- >> -- demi moore? >> seth: like nothing else. >> we are winning demi moore an oscar this year. i'm telling you. and it starts here tonight. >> seth: great. >> i know she's been on the campaign -- [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: but you're taking over? take over. >> this movie is like -- i don't like gore, so, like, this movie is very gory, but, like, it's insane what she does in this movie. >> seth: she's unbelievable. >> unbelievable. >> and did you know, i'm in her memoir. >> seth: what? how did you end up in her memoir? [ light laughter ] >> i'm happy you asked this one. [ laughter ] so, a few years ago i was doing more like entertainment journalism. this had to be like, like five years ago, i went up for "vulture," i went to the sundance film festival. >> seth: that's fantastic. >> and i wore like a fun, silly jacket, and like celebrities came in with movies and i was just, like, asking them all questions.

and she came in with a movie, and i was like, "it's demi moore, i have to make this count." i was like, "demi, did you know you are the most iconic crier in cinema history?" like we all remember "ghost," just like shaking and the single tear? [ light laughter ] she's able to create like one single tear in the middle of her eye, and then she did it again in "charlie's angels: full throttle." "i wasn't good. i was great." single tear. so, i told her this. and it -- she received it. >> seth: yeah. >> enough. to put in her memoir. she goes "a young journalist, at the sundance film festival said i was the most iconic crier in cinema history." >> seth: wow. >> so demi, it's me, a young journalist. [ laughter ] i hope you win an oscar, mama. this is the year. [ cheers and applause ] this is the year. i'm a young journalist. >> seth: you're a young journalist, but of course you are many things. you're a polymath, you have a christmas album. >> it's true. >> seth: called, "have you heard --" i wanna make sure i get it right. "have you heard of christmas." >> that is the title of my album. "have you heard of christmas."

>> seth: that's the best. >> yeah, maybe some of you have. >> seth: you went on tour. >> yeah. >> seth: this look, my god. >> sure. >> seth: matt, no complaints. >> i had just got off my "prince of christmas" tour. i'm the "prince of christmas." >> seth: yeah. a title, i gave myself. and i told my stylist i wanted to be slutty, gay, christmas fierro. >> seth: wow! [ light laughter ] well, mission accomplished. >> and i did it. look at my ass shining in the light. look how my ass do shine. >> seth: i can't believe you put this ass down the stairs at a gay circuit party. [ light laughter ] >> i need to insure it. >> seth: you got to take better care of it! >> i need to insure it like j-lo. look at that thing. [ light laughter ] >> seth: now you also, speaking of "prince of christmas," you and bowen interviewed mariah last year. >> sure, that's the "queen of christmas." >> seth: now you were in a room with the "queen of christmas." did you give her the good news she was with the room with the "prince of christmas?" >> i couldn't find it in myself to sort of tell her she was amongst royalty as well. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i'm such a huge fan, i kinda was just like, "let me make this about mariah," and not stop this whole thing and be like, "you know, i'm the 'prince of christmas?'" [ light laughter ]

and then have to explain my bs to her. >> seth: yeah, that's incredible restraint. because i think you made the right choice. >> i mean ultimately, it's like i just wanted her to feel like the number one thing in the world, because she is. like, i'm in the lambily. does anyone know what that is? >> seth: i do now. >> you guys are a thousand gay circuit queens. [ light laughter ] you don't know what the lambily is? it's her fan community. >> seth: yeah. >> and i'm like the president of it. >> seth: oh, wow, so you got a lot of titles. >> oh, yeah, i'm made of them. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i have a lot more. i want to ask about your fantastic new show. you guys, more with matt, right after this. >> yay! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ liberty mutual customized my car insurance so i saveded hundred with the money i saved i thought i'd get a wax figure of myself. cool right? look at this craftmanship. i mean they even got my nostrils right. it's just nice to know that years after i'm gone this guy will be standing the test of ti... he's melting!

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do you know where i could get any drugs, like hard drugs? >> really paul? what? because i'm a gay realtor in l.a., i must know where to get drugs? >> no, no. >> i am not a stereotype, sir. >> of course not, of course not. >> i'm a person. >> i'm sorry, i just assume because i -- i see you sniff a

lot. >> that's because i have allergies, okay? we're in the middle of a super bloom. >> all right. >> and also because i do coke. yeah, of course i do coke. >> oh. >> seth: we're back with matt rogers. that was a clip from "no good deed." [ cheers and applause ] ray romano. i've always said ray romano is a fantastic actor. >> he's actually one of the best actors i've ever worked with. and i've got some greats under my belt somehow. but he's amazing. like, he's effortlessly funny. and so -- if you watch the show, i don't know if you guys have seen "no good deed" on netflix, but it's streaming now. it's amazing. [ cheers and applause ] it's him, lisa kudrow, linda cardellini. >> seth: it's a real nice crew. >> it's like an avengers of television. and then you realize, there is an actual avenger there. teyonah parris is an avenger. >> seth: oh, that's right. so you got an avenger as well. >> fully. >> seth: good group. >> like, it was an excellent group, an intimidating group. like, you have to kind of like buck up for each scene. but then it's like, you get there, and you can't be bad. >> seth: right. >> you know? because then you're bad -- [ light laughter ]

in front of lisa kudrow. it would be horrible to be bad. >> seth: in general, but you can't be bad in front of the greats. >> you can't, or you shouldn't. >> seth: you play a realtor, as it was established in the clip. they're trying to sell a house, ray and lisa. >> yeah. >> seth: that maybe has a dark past. you spoke to some people in the business, little research. >> yeah, so basically, i was doing the same -- me and chrishell stause from "selling sunset" were on the same gig. and i was like, "chrishell, like, i'm playing a real estate agent, like, can you give me some tips?" and she goes, "okay, if you ever get to improvise on set, here's what you say." she goes, "well, did you release the contingencies?" she goes, "try that." i go, "okay." [ light laughter ] "well, did we release the contingencies," and she goes, "i didn't buy it." [ laughter ] in a real way. i was like, "what are you, uta hagen?" i was like, "what do you mean you didn't buy it?" she goes, "if they don't release contingencies, there is no reason to continue," this is really serious. and so i go, "can i take it again, chrishell?"

[ light laughter ] she's like, "yeah." and i go, "well, did they release contingencies? because there's no -- i mean, there's no reason to even continue." she goes, "there you go." >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> so i impressed chrishell. [ applause ] >> seth: who also maybe turns out is a great acting coach. >> i mean, she's on retainer now. [ light laughter ] and there was a moment, too. like, so, ray is talking about doing cocaine in the show, and we get to -- there's a whole sequence where we do a lot of cocaine. and like, there's that scene where he's like, "hey, do you know where i can get some coke?" and i'm like, "oh, well, you know, what do you think because i'm gay real estate agent i know where there's coke," et cetera. so then we're on set, and he's a so he's like, "i've never done this before," and he looks to me like -- [ laughter ] and i'm like, "sir!" [ laughter ] "art is not imitating life here." and then i did like ten perfect takes. [ laughter ] >> seth: fantastic. >> gay circuit queen. >> seth: gay circuit. look out! look who is coming down the

stairs? >> boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. that guy knows where it is. >> seth: what is your relationship with l.a. real estate? i do know you're there now. >> it's -- i'm sort of like in the same apartment i've been in now going on five years. and, so i used to live in new york, i was like a struggling comedian/actor in new york, like really, truly living like restaurant shift to restaurant shift. and so in new york, it's impossible and a huge miracle if you even get any apartment. >> seth: yes. >> so then i moved out to los angeles where it was like a little bit easier, but i didn't know that. so the very first apartment i saw, they were like, "you can have it on the first." i was like, "amazing, let's go. let's sign." so i signed. and it's sort of -- again, i'm still there. when you ring the doorbell in this apartment, "la vie en rose" plays. [ laughter ] like in its entirety. [ laughter ] and i remember thinking it was really charming at first. >> seth: sure. >> like i essentially live in like an orlando resort in the middle of hollywood.

and i want to tell you, i'm there for about five years. february 2020, i moved in. march 2020, some stuff went down. >> seth: oh, right, of course. >> so the pandemic happens, and we're ordering a lot of takeout. so the amount of times -- [ light laughter ] i have heard "la vie en rose" flow through my whole apartment. and it's not a short clip. >> seth: no. [ light laughter ] >> it's a lot. they're really letting edith piaf sing. and the amount -- >> seth: they could never have predicted the future. >> no. they're like, this isn't going to become incredibly annoying, got a beautiful voice. and the amount of like -- uber -- like, what is it? postmates people that i have to like, be like, "i know, i know, i know." [ light laughter ] but even over the mask, like, you see their brow like -- [ light laughter ] what is this place you live? >> seth: all right, well i do give you permission to upgrade. you do deserve it. >> one of these days i will, it's just so daunting, the real estate thing. it's like, i don't know anything about the contingencies. >> seth: no. [ laughter ] i believed you did.

>> no. >> seth: when you said it, i believed you did. >> but it took me some takes, seth. and i needed a coach, chrishell. >> seth: what a delight to have you here as always. congrats on the show and everything else. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, seth. >> seth: matt rogers, everybody. "no good deed" is streaming on netflix. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ as the people you love get older, their risk of severe flu and covid goes up. last year alone, those viruses hospitalized nearly 1 million people 65 and older. that's nearly 1 million moms, dads, favorite uncles, and grammas. if someo you love is 65 or older, talk with them about vaccines, because to you, they're not just another number.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hey, everybody. i wa