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today, friday, february 14th, 2025, total washout. mudslides flooding rescues, even a possible tornado. parts of fire ravaged southern california hit again, this time by a torrential storm. we're on the ground in one of the hardest hit neighborhoods. fired. the trump administration orders federal agencies to carry out widespread layoffs for thousands of government workers whose jobs arare now on the line. a new lawsuit claims ingredients used in popular hair dyes could be giving them cancer. and love at first swipe. millions of americans turn to dating apps hoping to find their special someone. >> i decided to take a chance. yeah, it was the best thing i ever did. >> love them or hate them, this valentine's day i'll simply explain what all the hype is about. thanks for joining us on this valentine's day. we are going to begin this hour with that severe weather moving out of southern california right

now. flood alerts in the los angeles area have officially been lifted, but the region is still facing a threat from mudslides and debris flow. the danger is especially high in areas burned by last month's deadly wildfires that includes the area of the palisades fire, which has stretched more than 20,000 acres and destroyed thousands of homes. and near the burn scars of the eaton fire, which burned more than 14,000 acres. just take a look at this dramatic video that shows a moment a los angeles fire department member scrambled out of his vehicle as it was swept into the ocean by fast-moving debris along the pacific coast highway in malibu. fortunately, he was able to get to safety with minor injuries. let's get right to it all with nbc news correspondent steve patterson in malibu for us. just how null vulnerable is thia and how long could the threat of landslides go on? >> reporter: i apologize, zinhle. we're starting to get someon th us. if i squint a little, i

apologize about that. thankfully, the major storm is over, but the ground remains saturated. landslides, mudslides in a burn zone like this, you can see the damage left over as crews continue to clean up from that, remains in effect really for years and years. the immediate impact, though, after a rainfall is still a threat. this could last for the next couple of days at least because the soil is still loose, and because when you have a burn scar in these areas, it sort of sheds off that protective layer. there's no anchoring of any vegetation, so rain just sort of rolls right down the hill. that's the situation here. i wonder if you can see back here the blackened hills up there. there's sort of a debris base in here. the public works guys say that hasn't been like that for the last 15 years, very dangerous situation. but it didn't land here. this is the part that officials were trying to protect with barriers, there are miles and miles of these all over this

community. and about 300,000 of these sandbags, they are littering this area. but they did their job, because we're not seeing any sort of major struural damage, just a really, really big mess at a really bad time. >> for sure. the area just keeps getting pounded. i know the same storm stretched all the way up through northern california, too. how are things looking in that area today? >> reporter: so it depends on where you look, like anything else. but if you're specifically in that i-80 corridor that we talk about so much, e sierra foothills, a bunch of snow hit that area, snarling traffic, localized flash flooding. there were even some rockslides and landslides as well, although not as dramatic as the south was hit. it was still a bad system there as well. really, the wind, the rain and the mud struck almost everywhere in california, no matter if you're in the north or the south, zinhle. >> all right, steve patterson with the latest, thanks so much. well, thousands of federal workers are at risk of losing

their jobs after the trump administration ordered mass layoffs. the office of personnel management is telling agencies to dismiss probationary workers. that's according to a person familiar with the matter. typically these are employees who have been with the federal government for one to two years. joining us now, nbc news white house corresespondent, yamiche, they spoke about down sizing earlier today, what exactly was said, and what are some of the key agencies being impacted by these layoffs? >> reporter: president trump really leaned in on his goal to downsize the federal government and made it very clear that he wants to continue to do so. he talked about the fact that he believes some federal workers got too comfortable staying home and working from home and they aren't being as productive as they need to be and they should be people who aren't working in the government anymore. he also praised the idea that 75,000 workers took the fork in the road buyout program that the federal government offered people. that's eight months of severance, so that was 75,000

people who resigned from the federal government, saying that he thought that was a very good number. it's also a question of sort of what happens next. what we know is that this office of personnel management, as you said, has said that at least 200,000 people should be laid off from the federal government. that would span a number of different agencies. these are workers that were on probationary employment, these are people that have worked for the government for one or two years. if you look, there's fema, usaid, the department of education, the department of housing and urban development. really, this is sweeping across the federal government in an effort to downsize the federal government and let people go. white house officials have been saying today that people should know that they weren't really guaranteed a job if they were continuing on that probationary period. >> that's the domestic news. i know vice president j.d. vance overseas met with ukrainian president volodymyr zelenskyy at the munich security conference. that was earlier today. the vice president also criticized several european leaders during a speech. what exactly did he say?

>> reporter: well, it's very interesting, vice president j.d. vance really went to this munich security conference and really scolded our european allies. in particular, he accused them of not holding up democratic values as it relates specifically to freedom of speech and immigration. take a listen to some of what he said. >> the threat that i worry the most about vis-a-vis europe is not russia, it's not china, it's not any other external actor. and what i worry about is the threat from within, the retreat of europe from some of its most fundamental values, values shared with the united states of america. >> reporter: so very interesting to see the vice president in that setting scolding european leaders. it's also interesting, because he was really in some ways taking maga abroad, taking this idea of conservatism that has really been molded in the way that president trump wants to see it. he wants that to be on the world stage. so j.d. vance was really the conduit to that.

and president trump today is praising that speech saying he thought it was a great speech, that he was ruffling some feathers, but he liked what he was seeing from his vice president. >> thoval office announced plans to impose tariffs on imported cars in early april. a lot of news, as always, from washington. thank you. we're following breaking news out of missouri. andrew lester, the 86-year-old man charged with shooting black teenager ralph yarl in 2023 has just pleaded guilty to lesser charges after reaching a deal with prosecutors. yarl was 16 years old when prosecutors say andrew lester shot him in the head and arm after yarl says he mistakenly rang the doorbell of the wrong house while trying to pick up his younger siblings. yarl was hospitalized and later recovered. nbc news correspondent shaquille brewster is outside the courthouse. shaq, what happened in court? >> reporter: zinhle, this is a hearing that just wrapped up.

it went on for just about ten minutes. we do know that ralph yarl and his family were inside that courtroom, as was the 86-year-old defendant who accepted this plea deal. and according to folks in the courtroom, you saw 86-year-old andrew lester plead guilty to a class d second-degree assault felony, that's a crime that is punishable by up to seven years in prison, though we don't know the specific terms of that agreement. we do expect to hear from prosecutors and from the family potentially at some point later today. but, zinhle, this is a major development in this case, for the obvious reason of the plea deal. but this was a trial that was set to begin next week. jury selection was scheduled for tuesday. there re many delays in this case. we know last fall, for example, the judge put a pause on the proceeding so that lester could undergo a mental evaluation, and that trial was set for just days from now. but now we know that it has been

avoided with this plea deal. again, a guilty plea for a felony charge. >> and, shaq, you mentioned yarl's family. what are we hearing from them, and also what comes next in terms of dates for sentencing? >> reporter: yeah, we just got a statement from yarl's mother, cleo. she says in part that lester's plea does not erase ralph's trauma or the deeper injustices that made this tragedy possible. she goes on to say the fight againssystemicfailures and racial bias must continue and called on members of the community to turn this moment into lasting change. we heard her in an interview a couple weeks ago with a local affiliate talk about the potential of there being a plea deal in this case, and she said that she would be satisfied with some sort of accountability, and she also said she would be relieved by the fact that ralph yarl would not have to show up for a trial and to essentially relive that shooting that took place in april of 2023.

we don't know yet when that sentencing will be. again, this 86-year-old man is now facing up to seven years in prison, though we don't know the particulars of what was exactly agreed to. we'll wait to hear more from the prosecutors. >> more information to come. shaquille brewster, appreciate it. let's turn to consumer news. tiktok is back in app stores, and on all-star weekend, a look at the most valuable nba franchise. steve kovach joins us with the money minute. >> happy friday and valentine's day. let's start with tiktok because it's officially back in the u.s. app stores, apple and google restored the app last night, nearly a month after it was remove to do comply with a u.s. ban on tiktok. president trump has since paused endorsement of that ban, but apple and google were waiting to bring the app back until they were sure they weren't violating the law. meantime, credit card debt has hit a record $1.2 trillion,

according to the federal reserve bank of new york, which said the increase was hardly due to holiday spending and stubborn inflation. making matters worse, credit card delinquencies are high as borrowers have had a hard time paying off their balances. and the afternoon nba team is worth over $4.6 billion, that's according to cnbc sports official nba valuations out today. that puts the league in between the nfl and the nhl, topping the list of the most valuable teams is the golden state warriors, worth $9.4 billion. the new york knicks and l.a. lakers round out the top three. slam dunk contest tonight. >> slam dunk con tefrtcontest. the moment has passed, download the app while you can. thank you. and still to come, a real life jonah and the whale. a kayaker caught on camera swallowed whole and spit back up by a humpback whale. you'll have to see it to believe

it. plus, the president's day sales have officially begun. you can save big later on "nbc news daily." if you take or have taken humira for moderate to severe crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis and still have symptoms... you don't have to settle. ask your gastroenterologist if switching to rinvoq is right for you. it's one of the latest treatments from the makers of humira. rinvoq works differently than humira and may help. rinvoq is a once-daily pill that can deliver rapid symptom relief, lasting steroid-free remission, and helps visibly reduce damage of the intestinal lining. rinvoq can lower ability to fight infections. before treatment, test for tb and do bloodwork. serious infections, blood clots, some fatal; ...cancers, including lymphoma and skin; serious allergic reactions; gi tears; death; heart attack; and stroke occurred. cv event risk increases in age 50 plus with a heart disease risk factor. tell your doctor if you've had ese events, infection, hep b or c, smoked, are pregnant or planning.

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thousands of hairdressers could be giving them cancer. my co-anchor kate snow has the story. >> reporter: he spent his childhood helping his parents work the fields in central valley. >> i worked in the sun asking myself that question, is this what i'm going to do rest of my life? >> reporter: answer was to go from cutting crops to cutting hair. >> i'll be in a nice cool area. >> reporter: but he says coloring hair for more than four decade took a different toll on his body. in 2023 he was diagnosed with bladder cancer. he remembers this conversation with his doctor. >> he said, what do you do for a living? i said, i'm a hairdresser. that explains it. >> he said that explains it? >> yeah. >> in that moment, did you think, he's seen this before in hairdressers? >> yes. >> reporter: rector is the plaintiff in a new lawsuit against 13 hair dye companies, alleging his repeated exposure caused his cancer. he's seeking damages.

>> we're not talking about chemicals in hair dyes that might be carcinogenic or possibly. these are known chemicals that cause cancer. >> reporter: attorney alan smith made millions for clients when johnson & johnson settled claims that its baby powder caused cancer. he filed for hector in california and plans to file more soon. >> what are you accusing these companies of doing? >> i'm accusing these hair dye companies of manufacturing a product that's unsafe. at a minimum, i would want these manufacturers to provide a warning. >> reporter: smith points to a substance thatat's formed when r color ingredients are mixed together. we spoke with half a dozen researchers and doctors who say there is not strong evidence of a link to cancer for clients who get their hair dyed. but numerous studies have found a link between repeated work exposure and an increased risk for bladder cancer. in the 1980s, some hair dyes

were found to cause cancer in lab animals. in response, the fda says the cosmetic industry reformulated products. but smith alleges dyes are still dangerous. >> ththey're definitive studies that have come out decade later showing the manufacturers did in fact not do what they said they were going to do. >> are you alleging the companies that make these products are misleading the fda and the thousands of salons and workers d people who use these products? >> 100%. >> reporter: nbc news reached out to every company named in the lawsuit, one company coty says they no longer make or sell hair dye products in the u.s., adding the claims against coty are unsubstantiated. clairol and other companies had no comment, some saying they do not comment on pending litigation. >> this is my hair station here at the house.

>> reporter: in his garage, hector sometimes cuts hair for friends and family, but for more than four decades he worked at salons coloring hair two or three times a day, five days a week. he retired from the salon in 2023. >> do you do any hair coloring now? >> no. >> would you ever touch it again? >> no, no. it scares me. it's ruined my life, you know. i'm not normal anymore. >> reporter: hector had his bladder removed, a new one created out of his intestine. he spends a lot of time now caring for his grandson. >> i'm just grateful and i pray to god to give me some more time to see him grow. i still have that thought in my mind that this thing can come back. >> you still worry a little bit? >> yeah. >> reporter: he says he'll never work in a salon again. kate snow, nbc news, california. >> for more on the science behind this story, go to nbcnews.com.

there you will find much more of kate's extensive reporting. up next, a new plot twist from the "it ends with us" author. the step she just took involving the film's costars that's raising some eyebrows. you're watching "nbc news daily." you can catch us streaming free 24/7 on nbc news now, you can watch us wherever you stream live. with your loved ones, sit down, do it together, youtube, roku, nbc news app. who doesn't love some news and chill? the news continues right after this. [coughing] copd is an ugly reality. do you have his medical history? i watch as his world just keeps getting smaller. but then, trelegy helped us see things a little differently. with 3 medicines in 1 inhaler, trelegy keeps airways open for a full 24 hours and prevents future flare-ups. once-daily trelegy also improves lung function, so he can breathe more freely all day and night.

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right now removing those pieces of rock, the dirt, there's trees in there. and the progress has been made overnight, especially when you compare to earlier this video from earlier this morning. you can see that there was a lot more mud, rock and trees in the far right lane, actually well into the road. caltrans has been out here since last night, working several hours overnight and through the morning commute with the front loader and dump trucks to remove all this material. caltrans just explained to us what the biggest challenge is, and why these lanes might not be reopened until 8 or 9:00 tonight. the slide is still moving a little bit. there's still a significant amount of material that we've got to get out of here. we're going to have to have our geotech experts come and take a look at the hill to see if there's some long term stuff that we need to do. but to get the freeway back in operation, it's pretty much just clearing out that there's a couple of trees we might need to look at to make sure that they don't come down later. so clearing it to a safe standpoint is our focus. these are the cars heading southbound. the two left lanes are open, two right lanes

are closed where we're standing. so again caltrans saying it's going to be several hours, possibly not until 8 or 9:00 tonight, that these lanes and all lanes of traffic are reopened. here in sausalito along southbound 101 bob redell. nbc bay area news. the good news we are getting a break from the heavy rain. things are drying up. here's meteorologist kari hall with today's's forecast. we've had a busy end of the week, and we're still dealing with some lingering showers across the region. but that atmospheric river is moving away from the bay area, and our sky will clear throughout the afternoon. and high temperatures topping out in the upper 50s for the north bay. a lot of 57 degree high temperatures around the north bay into the peninsula as well as the south bay, and tomorrow will be slightly warmer with some low 60s in the south county. a lot of upper 50s and low 60s from the tri-valley to the north bay, and in san francisco, 59 degrees. on sunday, the north bay will see a

slight chance of rain and more clouds, while the south bay will continue on with sunshine. we'll talk about this and look ahead to the presidents day holiday, as well as next week's forecast in the next 30 minutes. thank you so much, kari. we're going move on to some other news. now, the man accused of killing the brother of oakland rapper too short has turned himself in. police confirmed jackson is facing a murder charge in the death of 61 year old wayne shaw. the shooting happened last month on 49th avenue near east 12th in oakland. so far, no word on a motive or what led up to the shooting. happening today, students in the east bay are taking action. berkeley high school students will hold a rally to protest what they say is the mistreatment of unhoused community members. the students will march from shattuck avenue and center street to people's park. it begins at 230 this afternoon. a big weekend in the bay area. happening right now nba all-star weekend is in full

swing. take a live look outside at san francisco festivities underway in the city. there is an nba crossover event at moscone center right now. then, at 6 p.m, nba's top rookies will face off in the rising stars challenge, and that's taking place at chase. the winner of that tournament will earn a spot in sunday's coveted all star game. yes, this year, a different format for the first time at the nba all star. on the other side of the bay, there's the all-star celebrity game that will take place at 4 p.m. at oakland arena. the star studded roster includes bay area sports legends like barry bonds, jerry rice, terrell owens, and musicians rapper two chainz and shaboozey. and a busy weekend in the bay area, not just the nba all star chinese new year parade is also happening tomorrow. thousands will celebrate the year of the snake in san francisco. the parade starts at the corner of market and second. there will be over two dozen

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with his dad who took his video. you can see the whale breach and then completely engulf the kayaker and his boat. a few second later, the whale does let him go. the kayaker says he thought he was done for, but he escaped without a scratch. pope francis has been hospitalized to treat a case of bronchitis according to the vatican. the pope has scheduled his events for the next three days. the 88-year-old pontiff has suffered from the flu as well as health issues several times over the past two years. in an autobiography last month, the pope wrote that he is well, added that the church is governed using the head and the heart, not the legs. breaking news involving the u.s. military. a short time ago the army put out a post on x that says it will no longer allow transgender individuals to join. the army also posted on social media that it will, quote, stop performing all facilitating procedures associated with gender transition for service members. it did not provide any other details. that announcement comes two weeks after president trump signed an executive order

barring transgender people from enlisting and serving openly in the military. lgbtq+ activists and allies in new york city are pushing back over a federal website dedicated to the stonewall national monument. the reason, the site recently removed references to transgender people. protesters and new york democratic congressman jerry nadler gathered outside the stonewall inn in lower manhattan today. in 1969, protests took place marking a significant chapter in the fight for lgbtq+ civil rights. nbc news correspondent steven romo is in lower manhattan and joins us now. i can see an active scene behind you. and this is just the latest change made by the trump administration involving this community, specifically the transgender community. so what was said at today's protest and do we know why the website was ultimately changed? >> reporter: yeah, zinhle, it seems like the federal government is just going through websites as they get to them to

change these letters. last month we saw the state department take away the tq+ and just leave lgb on their website. now that has happened for the stonewall national monument's website through the park service. and that actually hit much different than the state department's because stonewall, as you mentioned, the site of something that really helped ignite the gay rights movement in the united states of america. there were many people who showed up around noon today, some people still remain, wanting their voices heard, to say that you can not have lgbtq+ people and just take away the tq+. here is more of what they had to say. >> these kids, when they see it on tv, what they will see is that their lives don't have value, that their humanity is not worth it. but we are here to tell them that they are worth it, they do have value, and their lives are important and they deserve to

not just be trans kids, but to grow into trans adults. >> reporter: now, activists are pointing out it's not possible just to erase trans people from the stonewall national monument, saying that marcia p. johnson and sylvia were trans people who were here at the team fighting for those rights. >> steven romo, thank you so much. there is growing drama in the feud between it ends in us stars, the author of the best-selling novel the movie is based on. chloe melas explains. >> reporter: a new character has quietly entered the growing public value end "it ends with us" costars blake live ly and jason baldoni. the author does not have any images or references to lively or baldoni. hoover, who follows lively but not baldoni, returning to the

social media platform wednesday, after deactivating her account last month. the author previously posted an instagram story after lively's initial accusations that appeared to show her support for the actress, writing, you've been nothing but honest, kind, supportive and patience since the day we met. never change. months after the film's release, lively filed a sexual harassment complaint against baldoni, accusing him of misconduct during productionon. baldoni filed a $400 million countersuit against lively, her husband ryan reynolds and their publicist. lively's legal team subpoenaing baldoni's phone and text records. her lawyer saying in a statement that their client has initiated discovery that will expose the people, tactics and methods that have worked to destroy and bury her reputation and family over the past year. baldoni's team calling the move a massive fishing expedition, adding they are desperately

seeking any factual basis for their provably false claims. the latest legal move comes as previously released audio and video recordings paint a picture of what happened during the production of the film. >> hey, blake. it is 2:00 in the morning. hopefully this does not wake you up. >> reporter: including this more than six-minute audio message obtained by the daily mail of baldoni apologizing to lively for his lack of enthusiasm for changes she made to a pivotal scene in the movie. >> i'm really sorry. i, for sure, fell short, and you worked really hard on that. >> reporter: both baldoni and lively teams declining to comment on the message. and this raw footage released by baldoni's attorney of them filming a scene. an unedited look at the making of a movie and a growing legal battle.

chloe melas, nbc news. this valentine's day are you looking for someone special? it could be love at first swipe if you try your hand at online dating. but what really goes on behind the scenes of those apps, and is it really possible to find true love in the digital age? here is dating apps simply explained. put simply, they've reinvented the old ritual of matchmaking with a modern technological twist, dating apps. >> in 2025, what role are dating apps playing? >> dating apps are still the biggest game in town. >> quick history lesson -- >> the 1990s, with the advent of the internet, a lot of the online newer dating applications kind of came out. >> it was kind of exciting to think that maybe i could meet somebody on the internet. >> websites like kiss.com, match.com dominated and the technology eventually evolved into mobile applications. >> the dating apps kind of emerged. that was more in the 2000s, up

until the mid-2010s. that's when we saw more of the dating apps that we're seeing today. >> an ongoing research project at stanford university noting a stark increase in couples who met online, starting in 2009. the apps have not emerged without issue. first, safety. in february of 2024, 39% of adults in the united states said online dating was not too safe or not very safe, according to microsoft reporting tool ssrs. then there's the cost. >> they've had to move certain features behind pay walls for the sustainability of the business. >> user etiquette remains a recurring complaint. >> it's the fact that you seemed like such a gentleman and now you're sexualizing me. that's so [ bleep ] weird. >> that was a waste of time. >> and then there are the app's algorithms. >> at some point i created two profiles. the white one was getting twice as many hits as the black one.

>> she and other black women alleged last year the algorithms exhibited racial bias. >> how did that experience make you feel? >> it was kind of disorienting. >> in a statement, hinge saying in part, we strive to create an inclusive dating environment for all. it's inevitable that many people have strong feelings about who they date, and can set desired preferences such as age range, distance, family plans, vices and more. we want everyone, including black women, to feel seen, respected and empowered to find meaningful connections on hinge. today dating apps still have massive appeal. the industry raking in more than $4 billion a year. for many, online connections have led to real life love stories. >> i decided to take the challenge, and, yeah, it was the best thing i ever did. >> i said i was going to give myself three months and i'll see how it goes.

>> they met on match.com in 2022. they got married the following year, now sharing their love story with over 100,000 followers online. >> when it comes to the future of the dating app industry, what are you looking at? >> i love this intentional dating, loud looking phase that we're in. we've got to separate our attachment to the fairytale and the way it's supposed to go and look at the reality. and the reality is that people are meeting on dating apps. >> and that's dating apps simply explained. >> of course, we always want to hear from you. what do you want to hear simply exexplained? connect with me on your social media platform at simply zinhle. the long holiday weekend is here and so is the first big sale event of the year. consumers plan to spend over $200 over president's day weekend. if you have something on your wish list you're thinking about shopping for, we've got the info you need today.

joining us now, nbc select reporter zoe malin, and, by the way, be sure to scan the qr code on your screen for more tips to save. thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> we've got to start with what we should be shopping for this season. what do you got? >> three-day holiday weekends like president's day are known for sales on big kitchen and home products. so think mattresses, furniture, rugs, appliances. we've also been seeing some really great deals on winter apparel. this is around the time when retailers want to get rid of those coats, boots, and make way for spring apparel. then we also have been seeing some good technology deals. february isn't always the best time to buy tech, but because of the football season we've been seeing some great deals on tvs, sound bars and speakers. >> love that. any items to skip right now? >> absolutely. so as for what to skip, anything spring related is really not your best bet right now. retailers know those items are in very high demand as we lead up to those warmer months. so don't shop spring apparel and spring outdoor equipment just

yet. >> okay, and just generally, what are your tips to save? because that price can really rack up quite fast. >> that is the truth. so always make a shopping list and set a budget. that can really help you stay on track, avoid those impulse purchases. it's a great idea to sign up for email lists that can always keep you up to date with the latest sales and maybe get some promo codes. think about signing up for your favorite brand's loyalty programs. if you can comparison shop, see who has the best deals overall, lowest shipping fees, and then make sure you're activating cash back apps that can help you find great sales and promo codes. also, if you're shopping with a credit card, use one that allows you to earn points or earn cash back that can kind of put money in your pocket. >> my forever question, should we vb shopping here, online? because some stores can be closed on holidays. >> we do tend to see on holidays big box stores like targets and

walmarts will be open. check hours to make sure they're not limited. there are comparable deals online and in in stores. the one thing to remember about online shopping is that shipping fee. it really can drive up the price. >> you mentioned a budget. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> and of course for more president's day shopping tips, scan the qr code or head to nbcnews.com/select. ahead, are you constantly getting into it with someone at work?

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in today's mental health check, take a listen to this statistic, the average worker in america spends 156 hours a year engaged in workplace conflict. that's according to a new book called "how to get along with anyone: the playbook for preventing conflict at work and home" and the book says many people make the mistake of trying to find the root cause of an issue. what should we actually be doing to identify someone's conflict personality style? joining us to explain is the author of -- one of the coauthors of the book, a clinical assistant professor at texas a&m university. thank you so much for being with us. >> thank you so much for having me. >> this caught my eye. we've got to start with common triggers that create conflict in the workplace, which can feel maybe awkward to talk about. we're sitting in my place of work, but we've got to get into

it. >> absolutely. >> what are the common triggers? >> the biggest three are tasks, process and relational triggers. so task conflict being about getting things done, process being how they get done, and the relational conflict, dealing with that personal trauma. >> i love that. and of course your book focuses on conflict at home and at work. we do want to focus on work on this one. and you outline a few different styles. two of them are the avoider and the competitor. what does that look like? what does that mean? >> sure, absolutely. to avoiders avoid conflict but not for the reasons we think. they avoid it because it's opportunity cost, so once they're actually triggered they do want to get to the heart of the issue. they're going to avoid the small minor ones versus the competitors, you're going to know when they'rupset. if they have an issue, they're coming to you. these two play pretty well together, because once triggered, they do want to get it done and off their plate. >> and then there's also the analyzer and the collaborator.

how do they work? >> they work well for different scenes. analyzers want as much information as possible, the full school, the full story, then they make a decision and they are stubborn and sticking with it. collaborators want to get to the heart of every conflict, dive deep, dive in, and they want to hear everything people are saying. pretty good match. >> those are the motivations behind the types. how do you avoid, or maybe address conflict with those different types? >> sure, absolutely. so for the avoiders and the competitors, we want to get right down to it. no chitchat, small talk. if it's in the workplace or at home. we want to get to the heart of the issue. with the analyzers and the collaborators, we may want to take our time, don't rush them. >> i love that. there's also the accommodator, which might not seem like a conflict style. it seems you're arguing it can be. >> sure, absolutely. so accocommodator are going to get things done themselves. they don't want the confrontation and don't want to

dive into it if they can help it. they would much rather resolve it on their own. >> i think a lot of times when people hear about personality types, one might resonate, b, they might say this is good, bad, et cetera. that doesn't sound like the argument you're making. why is it important for us to learn what our style is and the style of those around us? >> sure, absolutely. i think you hit the nail on the head with the second point there. it's great to know what our style is and know what triggers us, what's going to raise that emotion, but it's most important to know what other people's styles are so they can match our style with what's going to fit best with them. >> in our personal life, it feels like, of course, i want to engage in conflict because i love that person. at work, it can feel like, is it worth having? is it worth having? that's the question i have for you. >> best to predict and prevent conflict. we want to nip it in the bud before it escalates. so many people take that accommodating approach at work, avoider approach at work. a lot of times with certain

styles we need to get that resolved. >> the reality is it's not always kumbaya. what do you do if you can't quite mesh with someone? >> absolutely. the first thing is to take a look at what techniques are we using and what style are we using that's not making that progress with us. >> so good. and then just lastly, briefly, any tips for figuring out what your style is? maybe someone is struggling to resonate with one. >> the biggest thing is how you prefer to communicate, in person, social media or through email. >> i love that. i'm definitely in person (v.o) struggling with moderate o severe crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis? talk to your doctor about #1 prescribed entyvio, offering two maintenance options, including the entyvio pen. infusion and serious allergic reactions can happen during or after treatment. entyvio may increase risk of infection, which can be serious. pml, a rare, potentially fatal brain infection cannot be ruled out. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, sores, or are prone to infections. liver problems can occur.

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migraine pain relief starts with you. learn how abbvie could help you save on ubrelvy. all santa cruz county beaches are closed today because of dangerous surf. the county calls the conditions potentially life threatening as waves are expected to reach 30ft. businesses in capitola village are bracing for impact. some of those iconic buildings are boded up in anticipation of the waves. local businesses have also seen setting up sandbags to keep water out of their buildings, and public works crews have been creating sand berms to keep water out of the town. at the same time, stores are bracing for fewer customers. it is a busy weekend. we've got presidents day coming up and we've got valentine's day this friday. we've got a lot of customers who want food and got reservations for it. but if the weather doesn't clear up, we need our patio. it's not going to be available. we will be

keeping a close eye on the capitola whard as well as the santa cruz wharf, which was damaged earlier this year. we'll bring you updates during our evening newscast and through our nbc bay area app. our neighbors to the south are experiencing intense storm conditions. take a look at this video. it shows a fast moving mudslide sweeping that white suv off the pacific coast highway in malibu onto the beach. it happened so quickly, the driver in la fire department employee had no choice but just to hang on until his vehicle came to a rest among the waves. fortunately, he escaped with only minor injuries. well, the sun is back out in parts of the bay area. the weekend is looking cool and sunny. here's meteorologist kari hall wh our extended forecast. we are getting a chance to dry out today and partly cloudy skies as our temperatures top out in the upper 50s. it will be a cold night with a low of 36 degrees, and for saturday it will be in the low 60s. a slight chance of rain on sunday, mainly in the

north bay, but the rest of the bay area seeing partly to mostly cloudy skies and a high of about 62 degrees. on president's day, we are still seeing some clouds at times and mid 60s, and notice how it gets slightly warmer for the middle of next week as we get more sunshine and our overnight lows will be in the low 40s for san francisco. we're also looking at a mostly dry weekend, but it will be a little bit cool at times, and a slight chance of rain reenters the forecast on sunday, but clearing out on monday. thanksos

festivities. there's so much going on today. take a live view of the oakland arena. there's stuff going on in oakland, too, where nba all star festivities are also happening. the celebrity all star game tipping off at the oakland arena today at 4 p.m. last night, though, shaquille o'neal, charles barkley and the rest of tnt's inside the nba brought their studio to pier 48 for all star

weekend. fans got to see a free chance the rapper concert. right now, the city is seeing tens of thousands of fans booking reservations at hotels and restaurants for the weekend. and we are getting a closer look at what it took to bring 2025 nba all-star game to the bay area. the mission of the bay area host committee is uniting the bay area through sport, and we are proud to partner with them to bring you a special show that airs tomorrow night right here on nbc bay area. it takes place at 7 p.m. also happening this weekend. an update coming to a beloved san francisco skate park. take a look at the renderings of the skateable art at un skate plaza. it's a collaboration between the city's park and rec department, converse and designer alexis sablone. the park will be expanded and has new elements for new and experienced skaters. the new park actually opened at un skate park a year ago, and more than 350,000 people have

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and love food back. i'm crkaryn maughan:d this is "dathe is strugglingn nbc. a lot with what has happened. and he has to live with the weight of it.