throughout the east bay >> i work at building happy communities through the application of spiritualness, created about 50 years ago. >> mm-hmm. >> the way we do it is through multiplicity of programs for example, we have drumming, and drumming is a way for collaboration, and communication building and leadership also now we have it in schools where the kids are using drumming as a way of bringing about balance in and equilibrium in their lives. >> you just had a major event for black history. >> that's correct. what it is, every year for the past 15 years we host rhythm and sound worship for people the come and learn how to apply these two forces that is the

miracle who we are as humans a lot of times we take it foregranted. our inner drum, we are getting to feel a mood, immediately pop and send messages. as well as when we are happy, they had immediately all the systems of the body that this is the sense of who we are. >> drumming calms that and i know i have loved your drumming, beginning with martin luther king services when i was there. i know we had a different kind of opening but your drumming is known throughout the bay area. your contribution is attitude and healing. >> it is really like a community center, and a whole entire focus is to utilize creative process, to eliminate violence and fear.

we define racism, poverty and violence as life threatening illnesses. >> that is one of your books. >> yes, beyond fear, 12 keys to racial healing but it is about racial relationships, and i share with you before we are in a mixed marriage, pokomon is an african and i am an american many times people don't see that difference but you know differences are also inside how we speak our language, you know, our cultures, how we do things and attitude healing is a wonderful process for young people we do leadership training for oakland housing authority. we train almost 80 people a month in core values and looking at the rules and regulationlooking at ways they can become a good neighbor.

>> why are these guys focused on fear? is that one of the main emotions that control us? >> well, you know, really it is the opposite of love. >> okay. >> and when you -- love is a force that brings people together and helps people to bring -- it can bring lovers together, bring communities together, and bring families together and fear is an emotion they can separate and divide usually when we get afraid we separate. >> mm-hmm. >> so the more that we can really see these two emotions, we are constantly fluctuating between those two emotions the more we can begin to utilize love and really look at ways we can become love finders. >> that is great i think dr. king talked about the opposite of hate red, love is not hate red but fear or apathy. we will talk more about that in terms of relationships in terms of black history we want to hear more about what you are

about and focus on our theme in the next segment. so please join us, with kokomon and aiesha

welcome back to mosaic. we are talking about attitudinal healing which you do in east bay. let's talk about the black history you mentioned earlier, belva davis' book is that one that you see -- >> she is an icon. when you read her book you can see the historical process from the 60s and how we have grown and not grown. and black history month is still important, because well, black 365 days but hen you start looking how -- but when

you start looking how multicultural this country is, one of my favorite people is benjamin banacer he wrote his almanac it was popular among all the great people. >> the inventor. >> yes. >> right. >> he was an astronomer and also he helped to -- his memory was so fantastic he worked with the french architect that designed washington and when the relationship -- everything is relationships, when the relationship between george washington and the french architect fell apart and he left the country with the design benjamin banaker memorized the designs and he was able to help george washington relax. >> that is something we don't know. >> yes, he helped construct it

from memory. the almanac, 1792, before the united states had department of war, he wrote about united states encouraging the united states to create a department of peace and dr. benjamin rush who was a friend of his, also took this and wrote a bill that united states should have a department of peace and put it on the floor of washington in congress in 1793. >> wow. i don't think they listened to that. >> can you imagine? what happened was instead of the united states creating a department of peace they created a department of war. >> and defense. >> it never really evolved even today, he rewrote the law every 20 or 30 years, someone signed it and redo it and address it and bring it back to the floor. >> kokomon coming from ghana

what is your perspective on black history? >> yes t way my people see all of this is for us to remember those who came before us. our ancestors. it is not just public figures, but our grandparents, great grandparents and so and so forth that because of them we are here today, that we are standing on their shoulders. for us to remember their values and because the love they have for us is eternal. the wisdom from my people is that once you are born into the families, your relationship into the tribe and community is forever. it is eternal. >> that is wonderful to hear. >> it is a month of opportunity for us to remember the values and the love that those who came before us, gave us, that because of that, we are doing

what you know -- doing our dance and talking and going to school and eating and having all that fun. >> it is wonderful things you have said now you have talked about the mixed marriage. in the mixed marriage what are some of the things there is probably not an absolute prescription for any relationship but qualities or some ways of relating that are helpful that you might say that might be helpful to those who are listening. >> those listening, one thing that i would say to them is that at all times, if you surrender to the female side. >> that will help [ laughter ] >> because this is very very important, because once a trial foundation for people to remember is communication. a lot of times, we are getting to at least my experience in this culture is that, there is

male domination the male want to be in charge, want the control everything but the feminine, power, you know, we have to you know open the door for the feminine power to also come and shine. the best way to do it is just surrender, complete surrendering. >> she didn't pay you to say that did she? [ laughter ] >> okay. >> i think one of the most important core values that a couple can have is listening to each other and really create a time where you know, if there is a conflict, that each person agrees that listening, that they will allow -- they will not try to talk while the other party is talking. communication is critical in the relationship, critical in an intimate relationship, critical in a family relationship and critical in community relationship and in a nation. >> absolutely. >> you can see that played out

on a stage in washington where people have a difficult time and different parties listening and communication >> i remember scott picking in the road less traveled said if you don't listen you don't love another person. >> and love is the capacity to decrease the gap between separation. the more that we can decrease this gap that we are separate, the more that we can love each other and i think fear expands that gap. so i think as a couple i think it is important. we are very different. kokomon has his dietary laws i have mine which is grounded in american culture his is rooted in the ganaian culture we have to compromise some times i can't just always make american food so i make ganaian dishes too and he cooks too. food is a way when you sit down

-- >> no wonder you surrender. [ laughter ] >> we have just a few seconds left you guys hit on some key points listening being able the compromise, understand each other anything else before we go out? >> we have to put and come and visit -- do a side visit. >> yes. >> where is it in west oakland? >> 278 west street. >> right on the corner 33rd and west street our website www.ahc -- oakland.org and you can view the gallery of the children's art work, that they create themselves. >> thank you for coming back again this year. you guys are great. >> thank you. >> my prayers and blessings are with you. >> thank you so much for being here happy valentines day. >> amen. thank you. thank you very much. join us in the next segment as pastor douglas fitch and angel fitch will be with us sunday

afternoon fellowship they were with us last year also a great change is at hand and our task is to make that revolution, that change, peaceful and constructive for all. those who look only to the past or the present,

are certain to miss the future. do not pray for easy lives. pray to be stronger men. ask not what your country can do for you. ask what you can do for your country.

>> welcome back to mosaic. i am ron swisher. it has been a joy to host this employee gram this morning. -- program this morning. i invite my friends douglas and angel. >> we feel like regulars. how many times have we been on this show. >> we have friends in high places. >> your sunday afternoon fellowship is so exciting going on three years now tell us about that. >> well, yes, now going on three years. we are seeing small growth but growth never the less and one of the key features of sunday afternoon fellowship it is at 2:30 in the afternoon. >> now i did not believe at first that we could even get visitors but we average something between 5 and 7

visitors every time we have service >> i have been there many times, some times 10 or 15. >> right. and instead of not being able to attract people at that time, the data says we can. and i feel good about that, and the people who are coming do represent all cultures, all religious traditions and that makes it just marvelous. >> first and third sunday, franklin and gary, unitarian church. >> 2:30 p.m. >> great now what is the philosophy you mentioned it earlier to me. >> well, primarily two things i want to hold intention for us. one we believe that every individual is sacred just by the fact that you exist there is life in you, that means that you are sacred. you are divine you are holy. in addition our second real belief is that all belief

systems are relative. all beliefs. that means atheists can be a part as well as christians, jews, buddhists, muslims,. >> sacred. >> everybody is sacred and all beliefs are relative, one is as good as the other but the real issue is does that belief system have value for you. does it have meaning does it give you purpose and a good question to ask yourself any time is if i didn't have these belief systems what would my life be like. >> that's great as katy perry said you are a firework. >> let your light shine. >> angeline. do you believe with aiesha it was kokomon who said surrender. >> surrender to the feminine. first to me and then your inner feminine. >> that is good.

>> joust the piggy back on what douglas was saying this is our third year, can you believe it? our third year and we are really sustaining ourselves. our choir is growing and we have a lot of new people coming and so, we just we feel so blessed to be -- >> you have a choir director now. >> yes, he is doing a great job. >> i have always enjoyed the singing the band, so forth. >> yes. >> now some of the -- last time you talked about your history and black history what are some of the people that stand out for you? >> you know, at one time i might have given you a different name but this present juncture in my life, hollis thurman. a profound gent 8 man at boston -- gentleman at boston university the first african american to really be dean of a chapel. not only a good thinker but a

speaker beyond reproach. he had a style that was unique and he could engage you, inspire you, and his language was so fluid and so deep it just gapped every piece of your -- grabbed every piece of your being. he is now my hero. >> okay. okay. you know there is dozens of people who have gotten doctrines on his theology. >> i can believe it. >> yeah, he is maizing. one of my favorite sayings of his i used it in the dr. king address in walnut creek, put a saddle on your dreams before you ride it. >> he is a great mystic he helps me get in touch with that essential essence of my being. it is always spiritual for all of us. he zeros in right away. >> last year i tacked about the marriages when you were here. there is the three marriages. married to your work, each other, you are married to

yourselves. how do you see that looking back at that? >> was that a number one, two, three? >> i am trying to remember which one -- it is all mixed in. >> it is all mixed in. >> yes, you are asking us sort of like our marriage. >> yes right as i said to aiesha and kokomon there is no prescription for everyone but insome couples give that might help others. >> there are some couples who are competitive with each other it is not a good thing or bad thing but i think i mentioned this last year we are very very independent >> i remember that. >> we are together all the time but not competitive. douglas doesn't mind if i bring home the bacon and make all the money but an attorney he wanted me to make money. >> thank you. thank you. >> let me bring this up.

you are avid tennis players now do you compete against each other? >> no, first of all douglas is a far better tennis player than i am. when playing singles it is 6 love 6 love and you know who has got the love but we have to play mixed doubles that is something new. >> you have done real well with that i understand. >> yes but one of the things that comes to me around relationship, marriage piece is that we really do have a mixed marriage. >> yes. >> that is in a day and we can congratulate same-sex marriages. >> very important. >> we are a male and female marriage and now we also have samoan and african american background our cultures are relatively different. >> we have to come back to that. >> profound. >> this is exciting. please join us on mosaic here.

douglas and angelie ,,,,,,,,,,,,

i hope you have been with us here on mosaic. it has been out standing and exciting listening to couples this morning. tell us more about sunday afternoon fellowship i know you believe so much in what they are doing there. >> we are doing a forum every

quarter now and the fact is, that you are a member of our first forum. >> yes. >> the panel. yes. >> the panel on accomplishing more that was mark lesser and then you. >> the purpose for life. >> he brought up that but the fact is sunday afternoon fellowship is taking larger strides, we were primarily confined to ourselves now we are seeing ourselves bloom and blossom, and we are trying to stretch ourselves a little more. so every quarter we will have a forum and a forum around different ideas, different things so those who are the total community begin to experience and share ideas that were usually foreign to just one culture one religious tradition. >> here is something we didn't have last year so you know sunday afternoon fellowship is within the unitarian church within that church there is a

lutheran church that worships sundays, an incite buddhist meditation group, sunday fellowship and unitarians. we are creating an isn'ter faith community we had our first isn'ter faith service i think it was two or three months ago, in bringing all the communities together. first it started off as meet your neighbor within the church but now we are talking about would it be possible to have some sort of maybe spiritual center, something that we are all -- where all communities can come together? we are still in the thought process about it but that is something very new i don't know if there are any spiritual communities in san francisco or the bay area doing that but we are worshiping or celebrating together. >> that is very rich we have just a few minutes left i want to go back to the relationships, both of us have probably married many couples over the years i don't know if

angelie has helped in counselling but what might you say to a couple? >> one thing foremost to us and i would share with couples is we have to learn to listen not just with our minds, but with our hearts. we have to see with our hearts, listen with our hearts because then we make ourselves vulnerable. you can keep it in your head, in your mind and never become vulnerable, but taking it to your heart is a different relationship all together. >> mm-hmm. would you add to that? >> yes, exactly because some times when you are listening to some body with your mind you are just hearing words and you are not really being open and really i think that most of our communication is nonverbal. so i would agree. that is a very inner feminine thing for you to say. >> my feminine side. >> this is why i married him. >> let's not overlook the fact

does he surrender you also have a profession. >> i do. >> what do you do? >> a criminal defense attorney and in fact you know where 850 brian street is here in san francisco hall of justice my office is moving right across, 877 brian street and you know when i was listening to aiesha talking about racial heeling and love -- healing and love and fear in criminal justice i have not heard anything but fear. we have a new district attorney, a lot of exciting things but douglas is in the middle of it all still my unpaid assistant slash paralegal. >> thanks again for being here. we might invite you back next year too. >> can you please? >> we want to have an unbroken stream. >> yes. >> well, thank you for joining us i am ron swisher this has been mosaic. black history month, valentines

weekend, faithful to love, the grateness is love. blessings to you all

get up and dance i like that. see we are ready to go hello welcome to bay sunday i am your host sydnie kohara. we have a fabulous line up of guests including a coproducer of highly regarded percussionists and a former contestant on america's got talent and a cofounder of a nonconventional nonprofit. >> first the coproducer of san francisco arts festival, roberto hernandez. welcome to