- [humming] ♪ - find everything okay? - i did. thank you. - you have a beautiful accent. let me guess, madagascar? - nigeria. - nigeria. oh, oh, you're giving me too much here. okay, this is a dime. this is ten cents. - this is a ten? - mm-hmm. - and this is five. but it is bigger. i will never understand. - it's no problem. so do you live around here? - no, i am visiting for one week.

then i'm going home to my husband. - well, "married" is an interesting word. it means different things to different people. - to me, it means everything. - i was afraid you'd say that. well, tell your husband that he is a lucky man. - actually, i'm the lucky one. good night. - [answering message in yoruba] [answering machine beeps] - [speaking yoruba] [tires squealing]

[randy newman ragtime theme] ♪ it's a jungle out there ♪ disorder and confusion everywhere ♪ ♪ no one seems to care ♪ well, i do ♪ hey, who's in charge here? ♪ it's a jungle out there ♪ poison in the very air we breathe ♪ ♪ do you know what's in the water that you drink? ♪ ♪ well, i do, and it's a-ma-zing ♪ ♪ people think i'm crazy 'cause i worry all the time ♪ ♪ if you paid attention, you'd be worried too ♪ ♪ you'd better pay attention or this world we love so much ♪ ♪ might just kill you ♪ i could be wrong now ♪ but i don't think so ♪ 'cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ it's a jungle out there ♪ 'cause it's a jungle out there ♪ oh hi, yes. wow you really went all out on the decorations, huh? yeah, but i'm so slow taking them down after all the fatty holiday food. but that's normal. what do you mean that's normal? it doesn't have to be. to me normal means feeling good inside. not slow. try some activia. activia helps with occasional irregularity when eaten three times a day. keep a video diary and let me know about your new normal. wthe sadness, anxiety,e pleasthe loss of interest. the fatigue and aches and pains.

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here's a better idea. pillsbury grands! flaky layers biscuits in just 15 minutes the light delicate layers add a layer of warmth to your next dinner. pillsbury grands biscuits let the making begin. - wait, wait, wait. i'm not finished. - okay? - almost. - [groans]

you done? - hold on, mr. monk. i'm sorry, i don't read as fast as you. nobody does. okay. hold on. - natalie, why don't you buy your own copy? there's a newsstand right down the street. - actually, mr. monk, that is my copy. - okay, fine, take it. take it, read it. - you can finish it when i'm done. - yeah, it'll be old news by then. we'll have a new president. [sniffing] - what? - [sniffing] - what? - you smell that? is that you? - is what me? - are you cooking bacon? - does it look like i'm cooking bacon? - it's coming from outside. i knew it. it's a hippie. it's incense. he's burning incense down there. by the way, that's a perfect name for that stuff because that's how people react to it.

they get incensed. get it? incense, incensed. you add the "d". forget it. hey! you can't sell that stuff without a permit. - i am not selling anything. - of course you're not. nobody wants to buy that junk. find another street. good-bye. peace and love, and woodstock. - woodstock? - you heard me! how can you not smell that? maybe we should call the cops. - we don't have to. that was the cops. we have a job. - thank god. finally be able to breathe. [gagging] i can't breathe. open a window. - it is open. why don't we light some incense? - dr. zee says she's been dead 12 days, give or take. her name was maria fuentes 37 years old.. she was the housekeeper. those are the owners out there, john and carolyn buxton. they just got back from barbados. - maria stayed behind.

she was supposed to lock up the house. - excuse me, lieutenant. - randy. - do you want some liniment cream? it'll kill the smell. - nope, i'm fine. it's not my first crime scene. they got home this morning at about 8:30, came in from the garage, he saw his cell phone. - yeah, buxton left his cell phone. i guess he was on vacation. so when they came in from the garage, that's when the smell hit 'em. - [inhales deeply] - are you trying to impress that girl? - what girl? - the csi tech. you think that's a quality she's looking for in a man? do you think she's saying, "why can't i meet an attractive, 30-something nonsmoker who's oblivious to the stench of rotting flesh?" - i honestly have no idea what you're talking about. anyway, he came in, and he practically tripped over the body. - is there anything missing from the house? - no, they're saying no. - it might have been personal. she had a boyfriend, or an ex-boyfriend.

he did two months for assault last year. - she was only hit twice. - yeah, so not a crime of passion. - what do you got? - it's an earring. one earring. she took it off. - hmm. - and this is a first aid handbook. did someone try to treat her? - i asked the owners. that book normally lives on the shelf down below. it was open like that when they found her. - maybe the killer felt bad, like remorse, and tried to help her. - there's blood on the book. but the countertop underneath is clean. - what does that mean? - it means it was already there. it was already like that when she was killed. - so the killer opened the book to the page about head trauma before he hit her over the head? - so it would appear. - [exhales] that's very unusual.

- are you sure you're okay? you're turning green. - oh, i'm just hungry-- green with hunger. - you're green with hunger? - yeah, it's a-- you never heard that before? - no, i never have. - oh, it's a very common expression. i've got to-- i've got to go. somebody called maybe. [groans] [gasping] just checking on some evidence. sergeant. [melodic flute music] ♪ - [groaning] oh, for the love of crackers.

♪ i should have known. do you mind? it's 7:45. people are trying to sleep. - they are? - yes, they are. so cut out the jam session. this is not the fillmore west, and you are not louis armstron okay? look, here's $5. all right? go to the park and buy yourself a drink. - i'm sorry, but i cannot leave. - sure you can. i'll help you. - you do not understand. i cannot leave this corner. - why not? - my wife was killed here. - your wife? - two weeks ago on this corner.

this is sacred ground. - here we are. please, make yourself comfortable. i have some juice. - i'm very happy for you. - no, no, no, no. i'm offering you some juice. would you like some juice? - oh, i'm sorry. thank you. i don't know your name. - monk. adrian. - adrian. what does it mean? - it means nobody picks you for their softball team in seventh grade. - i am samuel waingaya.

- tell me about her. here, sit down. - her name was ansara. it means sunflower. that is what she was. she was a school teacher. this is why she was here-- a teaching conference, two weeks in san francisco. she was so excited. - what happened? - i don't know exactly, but she was at the grocery store down the street buying food, and a vehicle, i think a van, drove through a red light. it kept going. - ah, a hit-and-run. i remember reading about that. i was out of town when it happened. but it was in all the newspapers when i got back. how do they know it was a van? - they don't, but i do. i saw the tire tracks on the street. they were still there when i got here. i know something about cars. i'm a mechanic back home.

they were in the road. they are from a headlamp. - have you been to the police? - yes. they are doing all they can. that is what they say. - and you made these? "reward for information. 12,000 naira." that's very generous. - not really. it is $85. i am not a rich man like you. - yes. whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. what, what, what, what, what is this? what are you doing? - oh, i'm so sorry. it's so rude of me. please, would you like one? - no, no, no thank you. but do you-- do you have to-- - it calms my nerves. you did say for me to make myself at home. did i misunderstand?

- no, no. okay, wait a minute. hold on. here. breathe it into this. okay? [blows] see? there you go. and there you are. - [chuckles] i love it. it's ingenious. what do you call it? - a smoking bag. - i've never heard of such a thing. is it new? - yes, it's brand-new. - this would be very popular in nigeria. - right, right. here you go.

- i am sorry to wake you, adrian monk. it will not happen again. thank you for your juice. - yeah, samuel, don't go. um, i'm-- i'm a police detective. i'm--i'm very good at it. - i'm sure you are. - here's the thing. i want to help you. i--i--i-- i'm going to help you. we're gonna find the man who killed your wife. - you want to help me? but i don't understand. [somber music] ♪

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[ man ] excuse me miss. [ gasps ] this fiber one 90 calorie brownie has all the deliciousness you desire. the brownie of your dreams is now deliciously real. - wow. it's just like in the movies. - you've never been here? you said you spoke to the police. - downstairs, just for ten minutes only. they said that they would call me. two weeks. no calls. no hope. until now. - do you drink coffee? - i love coffee. - then you're gonna hate this. - [laughs] - [laughing] what? - what you said about the coffee.

[all laughing] it was very funny. - am i that funny? - no. - hey, here it is. technically, you shouldn't be seeing this. this is from a gas station surveillance camera. it's about a minute after the accident, half a mile east. - excuse me, captain stottlemeyer. it was not an accident. when he hit her, that was an accident. driving away and leaving her there, that was murder. - i appreciate that, mr. waingaya. that's why we're here. - oh, here it is. 8:17:02. - there. we think that's the guy. he's moving pretty quick, and he's missing a headlamp. - you were right. it's a van. - [speaking yoruba] - what does that mean? - you do not want to know. adrian monk knows. - what about the headlight? can we trace it? - we've got sergeant kramer's report right here. he already tried. every garage within ten miles, nothing turned up.

- mr. waingaya, the case is open. sergeant kramer's a good guy. he's gonna do his best. but cases like this are very, very hard to solve. do you understand? you can't ask for miracles. - ansara used to say, "miracles happen every day you just have to know where to look." - excuse me, there's no smoking in the building. - it's okay, lieutenant disher, i know the routine. i brought my smoking bag. - your smoking bag? - he's trying to quit. he's down to two bags a day. - [laughs hysterically] [all chuckling] - did you hear that? she said two bags instead of two packs. [laughs] [laughing] oh. thank you so much, natalie teeger, for teaching me how to laugh again. - you know, there's a smoking section down at the end of the hall.

natalie, randy, why don't you take mr. waingaya and his bag-- - we don't have a smoking area. - just go to the conference room and open a window. - yes, sir. mr. waingaya, if you'll follow me. - yes. two bags, it's very funny. - where is "picture go regular"? - what are you doing? - well, i might have missed something. - no, no, no, i'm talking about your friend samuel. what are you doing getting his hopes up like that? you and i both know the odds against solving a two-week-old hit-and-run with virtually no evidence. monk, it's 1,000 to 1, probably worse. now this case, maria fuentes, the murdered housekeeper, this case-- this case is fresh. it's piping hot. it's solvable if we act fast. randy and i are going back to the house. we're gonna walk the property, talk to the neighbors. - i can't help you. i'm sorry. i'm working with samuel. - you're working with samuel? - he lost his wife, leland. they ran trudy over and just kept on driving. - you mean ansara.

trudy was your wife. - wait a second. picture go back. make picture go back. - all right, all right. there you go. - picture go regular. - is that the same van? - he turned around. the surveillance camera is there. he was driving west. he was getting away. then he turned around. why would he turn around? - guilt. - no, he did not come back to help my wife or call a doctor. there was no guilt. - excuse me. how are you guys doing? - we're living the dream, man. - great. are you guys here a lot, drinking beer?

hanging out? slacking, you know, off? - slacking off? are you a cop? - not technically. it's a long story. - hey, we got time. and we love stories. - well, i was suffering from what the doctors called a psychotic break-- - mr. monk, they don't care. - no. - okay, there was a hit-and-run two weeks ago on pine street. did you hear anything about it? - it was on the 17th, a tuesday night. please try to remember. - were you guys here that night around 8:15? - probably. - do you remember seeing a van with a broken headlight? he was going that way. he must have been doing about 80. - wait, yeah, yeah. dude, they won't let us use the bathroom here, right? so i had to cross the street and use the one at that diner. and some dude in a van almost hit me. do you remember this? - there's a bathroom at that diner? - [sighs] i will never forget it, even if i live to be, like, as old as you, man. 30 seconds later, same guy, same van, flips a u-ey, almost hits me again.

- did you see his face? did you see the driver? - nah, he was, like, hunched over like he was on his cell phone or something. - cell phone. he was headed into the tunnel. that's why he turned around. he didn't want the call to be interrupted. what about the van? what color was it? - i have no idea. - well, do you remember anything else? - i have a dentist appointment tomorrow. - about the van. - you know what, i think it was, like, an exterminator van or something. - exterminator. - yeah, because i looked up and it had these big letters on it. it said "poison". - poison. - yeah, i remember looking right at it and saying, "poison?" - [chuckles] - okay, this is how we do our laundry in america. these are your whites. - my whites, excellent. - your off-whites.

your off-off-white. these are the primary colors-- red, yellow, green, blue, and that's indigo. left socks, right socks. i've labeled them for you. - but in nigeria, we just wash all of our socks together. - well, i don't like to judge people, but that's wrong. - so you mean you separate everything? but how much is that going to cost? - $200. - but i've been watching the friends on tv for years. this is not how they do it. - what friends? - you know, the tv show friends-- lisa kudrow? jennifer aniston? - yeah, oh, we don't get the african tv here. - i've been looking at trucks on the street. none of them say "poison." - yeah, i know. it doesn't make sense. exterminator vans usually say "pest control" or something like that. i can't figure it out, but i will. - i know you will.