to a thousand. one... two... three... four... (groans) bobby, when are you and me gonna go to that nude beach that hugo was talking about? ugh. nude beaches are full of overweight, out-of-shape old bodies and i don't want to go there and realize i look exactly like that. i'll go with you, mom. mother-daughter nudity day. fun! i'm pretty sure it's no kids allowed. no kids allowed? hmm... look through here and tell me what you see. tina: it's a cliff. my turn! that's a cliff, all right. tina, you nailed it! no, it's a cliff that overlooks the nude beach. and if we figure out how to get up there, we could sell tours-- nudity tours-- to teenage boys. it's like the internet, but outside. yes! hey, whoa, god! we're not even at the nude beach yet, you. guess my boobs didn't get the memo. ha! linda: it's like we're in paris. i love it. i know. c'est la vie. let's go! whoo!

keep hacking! come on, guys, we're gonna be the lewis and clark of nudism! i'll be the sacajawea. of sacks! this is fun! (gasps) you already took your bottoms off! whoa, whoa! what kind of shape is that? i don't know, it started out to be a triangle, but then i had to do it myself, and then, i don't know... it's like a flower or something. whoa. check out the hot guys in the drum circle. hi. hey, that looks like... oh, my god! bobby, you're not gonna believe this. he was at the nude beach! wait, who was there? hugo! yeah, he was trying to shut the place down. no, he's one of them now. one of what? a nudist! nudie! he was playing in the waves. (chuckles) dancing around. he looked like, ah... madonna in the "cherish" video. th-that's not possible. he said he took a leave of absence to be nude. so... hugo's not our health inspector anymore? do you know what this means? we're free! ah! oh, oh! no more surprise inspections! ha, ha! no more stupid violations!

and i am not going to the handwashing class! filth! i wash my hands. [ kids ] yeah! ok. if you saved enough money, what would you do with it? i would buy an island made out of candy. an island made out of candy? it would be like sand full of sugar. sand full of sugar? the water could be made out of like soda, and when you take a shower it could be made out of like hot fudge. ooooo. what about the animals? what would they be made out of? um, i'm assuming they'd be made out of candy? [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. saving is better. switch to at&t and your family can save up to 100 dollars a month with mobile share. ♪ can save up to 100 dollars a month with mobile share. license and registration please. what's this? uhh, it's my geico insurance id card, sir. it's digital, uh, pretty cool right? maybe. you know why i pulled you over today? because i'm a pig driving a convertible? tail light's out.. fix it.

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unbelievable. hugo the health inspector is a nudist! i know, can you believe it? gretchen and i spotted him from across the sands... out with the bad air, in with the nude air. don't be embarrassed, linda. yes, we were once an item, and true, we never saw each other nude back then-- unfortunately-- but better late than never. what happened? i thought you were gonna shut this place down. oh, my investigation? let's just say what i uncovered in that investigation was my very own soul. wow. the old hugo would have seen this man as a health hazard, pure and simple. the new hugo sees only a man. a nude man selling blondies. three blondies, please. whoa, wai... wha... where'd you pull that from? my fanny pack. where's your fanny pack?

oop. oh-ho! there it is. well, it kind of makes sense. i mean, the guy was wound so tight he was like a tubby little time bomb. teletubby time bomb. kids! come in here! i have amazing news. can't it wait? we're tired. and rashy. (grunts) where were you? bushwacking a trail to the nude overlook. dad, before you say anything, know that we're gonna come out of this deal stinkin' rich! and we're gonna put a roof over you and ma. well, good luck. i'd pay not to have to look at those people. hey, dad, whoa, whoa, whoa, rewind. i'd like to hear your amazing news. everyone, hugo is not a health inspector anymore. he's a nudist! (door bell jangles) ron! i think i know why you're here. go ahead, i'll pretend i haven't heard. it's true. hugo has taken a leave of absence. we miss him terribly and hope for his speedy return. ha-ha! right. all right, well, i'd like you to meet hugo's replacement. hey, hello, tommy jaronda. pleasure to meet you. hi. uh... what, you're the new hugo? well, there's only one hugo. yeah, well, i'm here, so let's get into it. oh, um... listen, inspector, uh, jaronda,

i know you're just doing your job, but we got inspected two days ago, so... yeah, yeah, it's cool, bob. yeah, yeah, you know what? call me tommy. okay, tommy. all right. i'm seeing a lot of tickytacky fouls here. what, he made you go to a handwashing seminar? that's some major b.s. pardon my language, kids. how are you? hello. no sweat off our ass. yeah, that hugo, he kind of had it out for us. ugh. i-i can't stand inspectors like that. you know? makes us look like turds. "no one can make you look like a turd without your permission." eleanor roosevelt. ha! this kid's a trip! funny stuff, funny stuff. you know what? i'm actually, uh... i'm starving. you hungry, ron-ton? you mean eat one of bob's burgers? hugo would never... oh, come on, ron. this guy... (laughs) how tall is this guy? (chuckling): he's pretty tall. the leaning tower of ta... of tall guy. (bob laughs) i'm giving you a hard time, come here. hey, bob, can you grill us up a couple? um... is this part of the inspection? uh, yeah, something i like to call the mouth inspection. (laughing) okay. (continues laughing) whoa! this is incredible! wow, first time i ever got a compliment from a health inspector.

bob, question: you like rock? um, yeah. i like rock... music. is that what you're talking about? yes. okay. you know, i play almost every night over at pistol mcswish's basketball and brew. you should come by. th-that'd be great. absolutely. what your burger did to my mouth, my music is gonna do to your ears. (laughs) that's great... (laughs) come here, come here. all right, all right. get out of here, man. what are you doing? yeah, come here. oh. you got me. what, you punching me? i'm punching you back. i think dad just got to second base with that guy. what are you doing this weekend, brother? i would like to visit the nude beach and see the naked people. you only live once, right, my sister? haven't you heard? kids aren't allowed on the nude beach. no! unfair, isn't it? well, what if i told you that you could see the nude beach? mm! all the dingles... ooh. all the dongles... ahh. all for one low price. i want to see the dongles! hell, yeah! cocoa-buttered boobies! sign up here to see the buff from the bluff! don't be shy... they certainly aren't. darryl: hello, louise.

darryl, you interested? you strike me as more of an indoor nerd. i am interested, but not as a customer... as a key member of your team. for a piece of the action? oh-ho-ho, is that so? (laughs) it is so. if you're nudie watching from the top of a bluff, i've got something that'll double your money. basically, this is the hubble for boobies. i've seen my neighbor across the street put her bra and girdle on hundreds of times. aren't girdles for old people? they are. and she is. nice. (panting, grunting with effort) (groans) how come we're doing all the lugging? you're also doing all the yapping. tina: nudes, ho! starting tomorrow, we're gonna be flush with ass-cash. whatcha doin', pops? hitting the streets for some hooch? no, he's off to pistol mcswish's to see the new health inspector play his rock. i have to go. we want to keep this guy on our side.

tommy! i was just heading out to catch your set... bob! you're never gonna believe it! that idiot who owns pistol mcswish's told me i can't play there anymore! what? how come? 'cause he don't know nothin' about good rock, that's how come. aw. wait... hey, i could play here. here? uh, what? yeah. nah. yeah, no. the acoustics in here are not... no. the acoustics in here are great. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sounds good in here. oh, clapping. clapping's fun. echo. echo. stop. stop. echo. echo. gene, stop. gene. ah! ah! oh, it's done. i'm grabbing my amp. maybe it won't be so bad. ♪ i'm a bad man with a master plan ♪ ♪ and the ladies call me tex ♪ and the one thing all the ladies know is ♪ ♪ i'm good at having... (grunts rapidly) ♪ sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex ♪ ♪ i leave my shirt on, that's okay ♪ ♪ don't make me feel self-conscious, babe ♪ ♪ sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, when you're done, say that was fun ♪ ♪ we might've made a little son, i'm good at sex ♪ ♪ you're bad at sex, i'm good at sex, you're bad at sex ♪ ♪ i'm good at sex, you're bad at sex ♪

♪ i'm good at sex, you're bad at sex, i'm good at sex... ♪ (tommy continues singing) oh, my god.

♪ shimmy, shimmy chocolate. ♪ shimmy, shimmy chocolate. ♪ we, we chocolate cross over. ♪ yeah, we chocolate cross over. ♪ [ male announcer ] introducing fiber one 80 calorie chocolate cereal. ♪ chocolate. ♪ the one and only, cheerios

(quietly): tommy's music is terrible. he's driving out all the customers. you told him he could play here all week? (quietly): i don't think i did. i did. but this is still way better than dealing with hugo. you got to say something. what about that song, "elderly prostitute"? ♪ da, da, da, da, da, elderly prostitute ♪ ♪ da, da, da, boo, ba, elderly prostitute... ♪ all right, i'll say something. so, what'd you guys think? did you like my rock? d'oh. tommy, that, uh... rocked. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. linda, what'd you think? ha! did it speak to you as a lady?

now be honest. it screamed in my face as a lady. oh, mom loved it. sell her a cd. done. yeah, listen, tommy, can i talk to you about something i... come on, let's go backstage. let's go. what? oh. okay. (door bell jangles) hmm! whooman. what people don't know about rock, it's a very physical... experience, you know? it's-it's very athletic. yeah, you're... you're moving around a lot. yeah, yeah. you noticed that. it's almost like you moved around too much. yeah, i've gotten all kinds of comments, you know-- "you move around a lot," "you seem to be having a hard time." yeah, i can see that one, a little bit. "you're jumping around for no reason." right. "you know, your eyes are bulging weird. it's off-putting," this and that-- but that's what they said about queen. yeah. did they? uh, in rock in general. hey, uh, tommy, uh... you know, our place is sort of a family restaurant and... some of your songs are a little risqué. so i was thinking, maybe don't... wait. hold on a second. before i forget, i got a little something here for you-- it's your inspection file. there's nothing on here. that's right! clean slate. you're welcome. wow. really? yeah, come on, shut up.

well, thanks, tommy. oh, man. i still got all that mojo flowing through me. you know, i-i got to get it out. i'm gonna take this van to the beach and peel off some burnies. you want to come? um... what's a... wh-what's a burny? (tires screeching, tommy laughing) (laughing) ah! ah, i'm gonna throw up! i want to go home! what? this is fun! oh, no more burnies! all right, people, line up! you'll see we have many noteworthy specimens on the beach today. only a dollar to get a closer look at the action. step right up! look through this tube, see some boob. give me the green, see some peen. hey, this is gross. we came all this way to see old people? ew! nasty! you tricked us. i want my money back. uh-oh. whoa-whoa, wait, whoa-ho-ho, you guys, you're looking at this the wrong way. you want to see nice bodies?! get a magazine! this is real, people! check out that guy. what is that? is that a liver spot? is that a birthmark? is that a third nipple? who knows?

you can't write this crap! hold up, hold up, hold up. let me see. i get it. yeah, i guess, on second look, it's better. this, uh... first song goes pretty deep. it's called "daddy." uh... at least it's, uh, uh, a family song. ♪ daddy! you abandoned me! ♪ daddy! you sold drugs to me! ♪ punches are not hugs to me! eh. it's no "elderly prostitute." bobby, you said you talked to him. uh, i did, kinda. but then he wiped our record clean. ♪ daddy! you're my enemy! (sobbing) ♪ you are my enemy! my enemy! both: ♪ you are my enemy! my enemy! ♪ ♪ my enemy! no, don't. it's just me, just me, just me. ♪ my enemy! oh, sorry. ♪ you, you, you! ♪ the itsy-bitsy stripper climbed up the brassy pole ♪ ♪ down came her legs and wrapped around my soul ♪ ♪ weave your web of your sexy web ♪

♪ weave your sexy web around me ♪ ♪ weave your web, weave your naughty web ♪ ♪ around my body, my beautiful body ♪ ♪ my beautiful legs, my beautiful torso ♪ ♪ weave that web around me... gene: hurdles on a beach? what are those silly little skin bags up to now? wait a second. this can't be. ow! uh, guys, you might want to buy seats now, for tomorrow's event. zeke: "nudecathlon." that sounds like decathlon, but nude. they're naked and old and they're bringing home the gold! go! you go talk to him! all right. tommy, listen, there's something i need to talk to you about. i was thinking, maybe, um... you could take some time off from performing... uh, here. what? what, what are talking about, bobby boy? it's just that, um...

you know, you could be performing at... at way different places. huh, it's almost like you're saying you don't want me to play here anymore. no. not... no. you... took that the wrong way. uh-huh. what i meant was... you're great. right. um, but just not maybe for, for here. i'll tell you what's funny, you know, that's what the manager over at pistol mcswish's said, too. did he? yeah, kind of exactly. oh. and it's a shame about that guy-- you know, he got shut down by me. what are you doing? you know, i hate to say this, but, you know, you got rat turds on your floor, man, and, yeah, i-i gotta write that up, unfortunately. what? tommy, that's crazy. you just carry around bags of rat turds in your pocket? yeah, i don't know what you're talking about. yeah, look over-- see, i see some more right over here, see? you didn't even empty that one! you're saying a rat just came in here and tossed a bag of its poop on my floor? yeah, that's a thing that happens. and look, you know, it can all go away. just let me do an encore, and then come back and play every night. no, tommy! you're not gonna hold us hostage with your crappy music and your threats! crappy?! so get out of my restaurant, tommy! okay! of course, you know what this means: until further notice, you are shut down, my man! fine! why don't you get out, my man?!

oh, gladly, my man! oh, and guess what?! you do have bulging eyes! and it is off-putting! so, uh... h-how did, uh, how'd it go? great. hershey's is more than chocolate. it's an invitation. to stop and savor.

when the chocolate is hershey's. life is delicious.

we're hungry, bobby! open up! i can't, teddy. tommy closed us down. if i serve you, i could go to jail. we're willing to take that chance! if tommy doesn't let us open, we'll be broke by next week! we gotta fix this, bobby! there's only one person who can help us now. oh, god. oh, don't be so nervous. it's natural. what's going on here, anyway? naked field day! fun!

ugh. bubbila, bubbila. there he is. i can't believe i'm gonna grovel to a naked hugo. bob! linda! you're just in time to see me excel at nude tetherball! hugo, look, i've come to ask for your help. the guy who replaced you shut down the restaurant. oh, bob, that's a pity. but the health-inspecting world doesn't interest me anymore. come on. this guy's nuts, hugo. he, he planted rat poop. you wouldn't even do that. listen to you, bob! it's all about things with you! restaurants! rat feces! underwear! oh, god. today is the nudecathlon, so either you join me in nude brotherhood or kindly return to your clothed country. all right, all right. what, what if i did join you? the more the merrier. but what if i competed and beat you? (chuckles) uh, you won't. but if i did, would you help us out then? is this some kind of bet, bob? yeah. it's a bet. and what do, what do i get if i win? well, what do you want? you have to cater the nudecathlon closing ceremony for free. if this is what it takes, this is what it takes. bob, you do realize what you're getting yourself into. a nudecathlon has 27 events,

not including warm-up freeze tag. i quit. no, bobby, come on! you can do it! (groans) parlays, exactas, trifectas! we're taking all action, people! louise, you're gonna want to see this. (wailing groan) (screams) we played with fire, and this is what we get-- fire in our eyes! i think dad looks pretty good, considering he's had three kids. hey, dad, stop stretching like that! oh, my god! (blows whistle) zeke here, calling the action for you on this sunny afternoon. there can only be one winner today, but many floppy wieners. and they're off! doughboy's out to an early lead! (panting) go, bobby, go! ♪ history repeats itself, try, and you'll succeed... ♪ you've got a tough day ahead of you, bob. ♪ and you can have your dream ♪ you're the best around ooh! like sand through his hourglass! ♪ you're the best around

♪ nothing's ever gonna keep you down ♪ ♪ you're the best around... point: hugo. ♪ nothing's ever gonna keep you down... ♪ big fatty wins the tug! bad luck, little fatty! three legs, four thighs and two ding-dongs. now that's one nasty bucket of chicken! (blows whistle) ♪ try your best to win them all ♪ ♪ and one day, time will tell ♪ when you're the best that's standing there ♪ ♪ you'll reach the final bell ♪ i'm the best around ♪ nothing's gonna ever keep me down ♪ ♪ i'm the best around... how are we holding up, bob? fine! just great! well, i must say you've proven yourself a worthy naked adversary. but this last event is for all the marbles. don't say marbles. line up for greco-roman wrestling! go, bobby! you're my big naked knight! i'm dying. gentlemen, enter the ring.

may the best nude win. may the best nude win. (blows whistle) (both grunting) ah, not there. there you go. (grunts) take this one. let go! sweep the leg, dad! sweep the leg! treat him like a naked piñata, dad! break him open for some candy! okay, bob, time to do this! not today, bob! oh! the little guy flips the fatty like a patty! we've got a pin! no! yes! i win! you took linda from me, you were the scourge of my professional life, but this time, i win! (laughing wildly) you can get off me now, hugo! never! (laughing): i win! let's go home, lin. all right. i win, win, win! wow. that was rough. naked and defeated. just the way he entered this world. bobby, you put your pants on backwards, honey. doesn't matter. none of it matters.

we lost the restaurant, lin. tina, let's put our pants on backwards, too. let's do it for dad! i'm wearing a skirt, but okay. (door bell jangles) hugo? what are you doing here? and why are you wearing clothes? or is that just body paint? today, at the beach, you tasted my sweet victory, but i realized something: it wasn't enough. what does that mean? i want to shut you down-- i do-- not some dirty doody-dropper-- me. until then, you're open for business. ron? you got it, buddy. all right! well, thanks, hugo. all right, everyone! load in! what's going on? the closing ceremony, bob. remember? you have to cater it. disrobe at will! don't bother with courtesy tissues on the seats. gettin' nude for food! i love it! hold the buns. am i right?! well, better clean up the gum under the tables. i'll get to it. tina, no. i hate you, hugo. (cackles) wait-- what about tommy jaronda? how we doin', jimmy pesto's?

captioning sponsored by bento box entertainment ♪ i'm a bad man with a master plan ♪ ♪ and the ladies call me tex ♪ ♪ and the one thing all the ladies know is ♪ ♪ i'm good at having ♪ uh-uh-uh-uh-uh, sex-sex-sex-sex-sex ♪ ♪ i'm good at sex, i'm good at sex ♪ ♪ i'm very, very, very, very good at sex ♪ ♪ i am good, you are good, too ♪ you're learning, little by little ♪ ♪ i'm guiding you with my hand and my arms ♪ ♪ i'm good at sex, you're learning quick... ♪ (funky disco plays) ♪ my name is cleveland brown ♪ and i am proud to be ♪ right back in my hometown ♪ with my new family ♪ there's old friends and new friends ♪ ♪ and even a bear ♪ through good times and bad times ♪

♪ it's true love we share ♪ and so i found a place ♪ where everyone will know ♪ my happy mustached face ♪ this is the cleveland show. ♪ son, as a rite of passage, you must now pick one of these disgusting creatures to be yours. (laughs) we're just like that father and son on cathouse. uch. that show's only worth watching when you're too tired to get your computer. (gobbling) (voice breaks): oh! sometimes i see so much of your mother in you. (giggles) i choose this one, daddy. he put his pecker in my mouth. okay, okay. shoot it. what? i'm not shooting this turkey! killing innocent animals is wrong. no animals are innocent. they're all guilty of something. besides, you eat turkey all the time. that's turkey the food. this is turkey the animal.

benjamin franklin thought turkeys were so noble, he suggested they be america's national bird. benjamin franklin was an atheist pedophile who flew kites to meet children. that's why god struck him with lightning. i won't do it! no! (gobbling) mama! mama! this is it! over here! rallo, what is this i let you wake me up and drive me down here for? the thanksgiving day parade float registration! come on, mama. i've been talking about this since febu... febra... since before march. um, are y'all here for the, um, thanksgiving float registration? yeah, give us that clipboard, you burnout. and forget everything you know about floats. 'cause ours will be the cadillac of the 1970s of floats. it's gonna be the kind of float that when it goes by, people say, "huh, look at that float. oh, here comes another one." everyone's sitting with turkeys,

and i gave birth to one. where is your embarrassment of a son? he's probably at home taking baths with lady products. but tomorrow, after i take my bath with cinnamon essence, i am going to take him to kill a turkey! yours are a fragrant and fascinating people. thank you. oh, cleveland, those curly fries are for fathers and sons who are bonding, so... oh, these? no one gets them! and i call you can't order any more! gus, you'll give us more, right?! sorry, fellas, it's been called. alfredo, no mas curly fries! ¿por que? por que cleveland called it. that's por que! okay, dick. mama, i finished my design for our float. it's a turkey. and that's the sun. why is he smiling? perhaps it's the good-lookin' turkey float. mm-hmm. that's great, rallo. you think we can knock this out in time for judge mathis?

it's a good one about a lawnmower. hi, donna. a little turd told me that you're competing in the float contest this year. rallo was the turd. it's a contest?! rallo, you didn't tell me that, you little turd! don't get too excited. the same bitch has won the contest for ten years: me. (laughs) raymond: there's a boat chasing us! listen up, rallo. i am not about to lose to miss teddy suxpin over there. a'ight. i can't believe we're going to the pillsbury doughboy's house! i can't believe you believe it either. was that a gun? hmm? oh, no, i'm not about to trick you into shooting a turkey. you know, it's a long trip. why don't you put your seat back, take a nap, and i'll wake you up when we get there? i'm too excited to sleep. nonsense. catch some zs for pa-pa? here's a blanket, larry the leopard, a eye pillow, and this.

good night. (snores) (whimpers) what the...?! where's the pillsbury doughboy?! dead, junior! the turkeys did it! in cold gobbly blood! his last words were, "avenge me, junior!" then he poked himself in the stomach, giggled, and died. kill 'em! kill 'em all! you sons of bitches! wait a minute. this isn't the doughboy residence! you tricked me! i will not murder with you! (grunts) why can't you just be more like the d.c. sniper's son? stop comparing me to lee boyd malvo! i'm not him! fine. i'll do it. (turkey gobbles) please, dad, don't do this! i'm gonna put a duck in your butt. and then i'm gonna put a chicken in the duck's butt. (screaming)

ow! oh. i... suspect... fowl... play. i can live with that being my final joke ever. (grunts) but these spring deals are just too good to pass up. roger that! tees for the whole family are just $5. oh my! kids shirts and shorts are $10. and adults spring shirts and shorts are $15. hurry in to the spring upgrade sale! now at old navy.

one bite... ♪ ...is like no bite you've ever tasted before. it's a whole new way to love mcdonald's. ♪ doctor, you can stop lighting matches under his elbow. he's awake. aw. am i dead? no, mr. brown, you're very much alive.

luckily, your many layers of stomach fat slowed the bullet before it finally lodged in the part of your liver that's already dead. if you were shot three or four inches to either side, you would have still been shot in the fat. (all laugh) (grunting) ta-da! junior, you were right. now i know what it feels like to be hunted and shot. those poor gobblers. killing turkeys is wrong! except in cases of rape and incest. we need to stop this! let's go, junior! aw, yeah, watch out, arianna! someone's making a quaint and homespun float ovah heah! well, if you like it now, you're gonna love it with some fluorescent pink splatter paint! ah, oh, okay, a pink turkey, sure. i know! my poo cray! here come the googly eyes! googly eyes?

you trying to make a fool of donna?! i mean, what fun. i know! and i got some bubble wrap to throw on it. ooh, and you know what else would be cool? a book of your stamps. and macaroni...! oh, donna, your float is inferior to mine. (chuckles) burn! well, what she doesn't know is i've got the last word in taste and design, and i'm about to pull out the big gun! tim gunn! donna, your float makes me want to vomit. which in the fashion industry is like a standing ovation. so i'm a little torn here. make it work. bitch, you make it work. i also say "wow factor." cleveland: what do we want?! to stop killing turkeys! when do we want it?! we haven't really talked about it yet! well, when are you free to discuss it? what's your tuesday like? tennis lessons! honey, move along. they're insane. ♪

gentlemen, i have two words for you: can you... dig it? what? no! this isn't my float! i don't understand. hi, boys. aw, i was hoping to surprise you, rallo. isn't she magnificent? but... what about my ideas? what about the googly eyes?! oh, i loved all your ideas! so much so that i took them one step further and thought, "what if the float didn't have googly eyes?" then i ran with that. say what? now you can finally get the revenge you've always wanted against arianna.

fellas, when's the last time y'all went totally ballistic on a big bird? it's been a minute. yeah, yeah! (boys ululating) junior, my feet hurt. i'm tired. are we even making a difference? i mean, has a protest ever really effected change? a little history lesson, dad. in 2007, as president bush was preparing to send another 20,000 brave american soldiers to fight and probably die in an unpopular and unwinnable war, protesters like you and me stood up for what they believed in and sent 20 tons of peanuts to cbs to get jericho back on the air. did it work? did it work? why don't you ask the seven additional episodes cbs ordered? you idiots have been so annoying that folks hate turkeys more than ever. business is a-boomin'! in fact, all 27 remaining turkeys are scheduled to be hunted down tomorrow. (laughs)

oh, my god! how sad. (applause) (cheering and applause) (scattered applause) no in memumoriam! we must save fred! and alex! and marvin! and jeff conaway! are those really the turkeys' names? i didn't see whatever you saw.

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okay, we'll break out the turkeys tonight and hide them. then, tomorrow when everyone's at the parade, we'll take them to the goochland turkey preserve. you and i would make good cats. stay focused, but i do agree with you. meow, meow.

damn it! whew. hello, friend. when you shot me, you saved my life. and now i shall return the favor. freedom! shut the (bleep) up, man! you're right. let's stick to the plan and get these guys to the safe house. and make sure lester doesn't see us or else he'll kill us in the faces. oh! round 'em up, junior. but how are we going to get them to follow us? you just leave that to you.

(gobbling) our garage. (gobbling) underground railroad. (gobbling) we're coming. (cleveland jr. gobbles) (gobbling) (whispering): shh. be quiet. mr. barkington's sleeping on the porch. hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! password? knock-knock-a-roonie-doonie.

exact-a-rooonie-boonie! (gobbling) hello! whoa! let's go! (gobbling) safe at last. keep these suckers in here for the night. y'all lay low in here for a little while. i'll come back with some pizzas. y'all fine with papa john? you know what? we're bringing them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. them dumb birds... don't know the difference. ooh... no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

how are we gonna sneak out those birds? i just got an idea... and lost it, and now it's back... and i should write it down before i forget again... damn it. what was it? give me a second... got it! wait, lost it... a-ha! rallo! it's almost time for the parade and our float's been completely trashed! we're screwed! oh, yeah, yeah, i trashed it. (gasps) because you trashed my dream of making a float with my mother's love and support! oh, rallo, what have i done? i know! i'm your son! that should be more important than any old contest! no! i mean, i set arianna's float on fire! oh, baby, i'm so sorry. i never should have let you down. i'm going to run to the store and buy all the googly eyes they have! oh, the bear-manity!

cleveland: lester! hello, cleveland. did you hear somebody stole all my turkeys last night? no. how are you? fine. midmorning's kind of a funny time to be hanging out near your garage. lester, you need to relax and enjoy thanksgiving, because the holidays go by in a... flash! well, i'll be. i didn't know you were a flasher, too? yeah, i'm trying to get back into it. (whispering) now! hurry! so, les... you've done some flashing yourself, huh? i dabble. weddings and bar mitzvahs, mostly. just a little constructive criticism... your lengthy flash is appreciated, but not necessary. you really just want to give the people a taste. that's why they call it a "flash." oh...

...kay. welp, me and the boy better get our float over to the parade. oh, well have fun! happy thanksgiving! i'll kill ya if you stole my birds! never imagined he'd have gone gray down there. reminds me of when i saw bill russell at that urinal. (gasps) mama double-crossed me! she's taking my float to the parade without me or my googly eyes! mama, you're a dead man! damn it, walt! if you gonna borrow my big wheel, fill it up before you bring it back! kendra! cleveland: we did it, junior! we saved 27 turkeys. uh-oh. see? that explains why i said "uh-oh."

uh-oh. (sniffing) yeah. ♪ (tires screech) great float! go on through. damn, people be tall. (grunts) hey! whoa, i'm higher than woody harrelson listening to dark side of the moon at matthew mcconaughey's beach house! right in the middle of these two. that's where we want to be. donna: thanks! i love your store, michael. come back soon! and donna? you're doing the right thing for rallo. i know.

i really am a great mom. with a great ass! michael... my baby! all right, you two, give me the birds! nevah! (gobbling) (cheering) fine, i'll just kill 'em myself. lester's turkey hunt is back on! (gunshot) rallo! i'm here, baby! don't move! mama? oh, mama. you brought the googly eyes! you do love me more than a parade float! (turkeys gobbling) (screaming) my baby! my baby!

ma'am, there's no need to panic. those power lines will stop him. (gasps) (grunting) cleveland! help! (yells) (gasps) is that the little kid from upstairs? that balloon is outrageous! (farting) (screams) ya happy? rallo's gonna die because you had to save those stupid turkeys. they are not stupid! ah! (gobbling) (screaming) (gasping) (gobbling) ah... y'all see that? that poo cray!

(cheering) every year we hahave this (bleep) tradition to pardon a (bleep) turkey. this year, i'm pardoning these 27 (bleep) for saving this little (bleep) life. (cheering) we won the float contest! well, we did it, daddy. we saved some turkeys. we sure did. and son, i don't tell you this enough, but you're a good, fat little person. hey, let's not go through the same thing over our christmas ham. oh, don't worry. i'll kill a pig. strangle it with my bare hands. watch the life drain from its eyes. mm-hmm. eat the sucker for dinner that night. tail, gristle, teeth, all of it. (laughing): all right. i'd also like to kill a person. what? i could get away with it too. get on a bus, pay with cash, kill him where nobody could hear, hop back on the bus. they'd never catch me, as long as nobody went flapping their lips about it.

happy thanksgiving, everyone! captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television ♪♪ ♪ ♪ geico motorcycle. see how much you could save. ♪ he estado solo contigo ♪ dentro de mi mente ♪ ♪ hola ♪ ¿es a mi a quien estás buscando? [ male announcer ] say hola to the new

cool ranch doritos locos taco. it's the taco you've been looking for. [ bong ]

(exclaiming) (school bell ringing) (barney belches) (whistle blows) (yells) (beeping) (playing the blues) (playing the blues) (tires screeching) d'oh! (tires screeching) (grunts) (humming)

learn zone? mom, you said we were going someplace fun. yeah, mom, you promised! homer, i told you, don't call me "mom." sorry, mrs. simpson. (groans) (laughter) (excited vocalizing) (whirring, children cheering) ooh! this isn't a learn zone. darn it, it's a fun place! yay! (whoops) yay! (laughter) for maximum safety, all children must wear anti-kidnapping bracelets. (laughs) is this a kid you'd pay ransom for? dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail? i don't know. feed it to the dog? you'd have to wrap cheese around it. don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog! (laughter) (snoring)

(whooping and laughter) whoa! (screaming) where do they go? whoa! female announcer: welcome to the mormon church, america's most respectable cult. (whooping and laughing) keep an eye on the kids, homer. can i keep an eye on that kid? he's fabulous. bart and lisa. oh! it's always my kids. yay! (laughing) where'd they go? oh. hmm. almost. holy moley. what the...?! oh, it's hopeless! what's hopeless? who the hell are you? (laughter and cheering) dad, come up, come up! pretty, pretty please! absolutely not! my adult frame is simply too large. come on, dad! no! never! come on, dad! fine. here i come. (grunting) crawling. so... painful.