i saw the redemption project. and it was so moving. and i really believe that my re daughterchose me for that particular moment. she was an incredible young

lady. i delivered her on the freeway when driving. in fact, on her birth certificate it says place of birth, 580 freeway, attending physician, donald lacey. baby's daddy. she was an incredible spirit. very positive spirit. a few months before she was murdered, a young man in the neighborhood was killed and she came to me and said she wanted me to help her write a play about stopping violence. and i was moved by her willingness to take the grief and pain she was feeling to do something positive. so quite naturally, when she was murdered, that became my overall motivation, to make something lasting come out of something so horrible. love life is the sign of oakland. >> how long has that been there? >> april 5th 2016 and the signs went up in 2018.

>> tell us her name again. >> in nigerian, it means love and life. i figured she was so eager for life that she was born before we got her mom to the hospital. and she was a conflict resolution mediator. she was a true unifier. >> even at 16? >> even at 16. her teacher told me one time, mr. lacey, your daughter is amazing. there was a serious beef between some black kids on latino kids and i have this great picture of her where she is standing in the middle and that was her spirit. quite naturally, i feel like everything that has happened, it is due

and loving nature. i grieve every time i hear the story of someone murdered. the violence and the viciousness of people. >> what was it like to lose your daughter at that time? >> the night it happened, october 20th, 1997, my initial reaction was for revenge. we didn't have cell phones. we had pagers. i was getting messages. people were informing me the night of that they had a good idea of the individuals involved. but the last person i talked to was my dear gramother who lived to be a couple months shy of 102 and she told me that what the devil meant for evil, god would turn to good. right at that moment, i thought about what my daughter taught me when she was grieving. so i put the word out that i didn't ntan >> >> the young man that picked

her and her girlfriend of who gave them a ride home from her job was involved in some illicit activity in the neighborhood. but they all grew up together and everybody knew everybody, including the young man who was the assailant. enough the reasons it made it easier for me to forgive him is because a few months after she was killed, he can best. -- he confessed. >> and he was 16? >> he was 16 at the time. i always felathaa conscience. it always took me a lot of time to get to those words, i forgive you. >> how did van jones come to you about that? >> really it is divine providence. ard th different chans in admira

and then this lady karina montag became part of it two years prior to it happening with the inside prison project. i said, i didn't know van jones with cnn would be involved. i said, i wasn't going to meet him for the first time and less a camera came. the reason was that i wanted to set an example of forgiveness. and probably a year before it happened, she said cnn and van jones have this thing called "the redemption project" and they are interested in doing your story when you go to visit kristin more smith, the assailant. and so it took a little while erit w part of the reason there is so much violence in the black and brown community is because there liatio people hold a grudge

and they want to strike back. i'm so glad i saw it. >> troy belton called me and texted me a day or so before and said, you have to check it out. and donald lacey will be there. he has been our guest. he said, i checked it out and i was moved by that. and how you have to meet this man. >> christopher smith was his name. you both cried about the loss about the terrible situation. >> in fact, i usually have the big picture of her that i take everywhere. they didn't show it in the shop. but before he came in the room, i was holding it up. when he walked in the room, that is the first thing you saw. and it was genuine. and even prior to may meeting him, he wrote a letter to me expressing his remorse for what happened and how much he loved my daughter

loeshi and how he remembered her from elementary school and this and that. and he is out now and i'm hoping he stays on the right path. >> amen to that. >> we will talk more about that in the next segment and the whole nature of forgiveness which is powerful. >> i hope you have been with us. we will continue this in the next segment with donald lacey.

all the greats have talked about forgiveness from jesus to gandhi to nelson mandela, migellay that if you don't your past. you are back in the past. forgiveness allows for a future. but it is still not something easy to do. i want to

talk more to donald about what that is like, to forgive. >> as i'm listening to you daughter was killed, y e bere i used to go to chip murray's church and i will never forget this woman and i don't know her name. i can see her face. she had a testimony of her 14-year- old son who was murdered for his nikes. shot in the head three times. i will never forget this. i get emotional just thinking about it. she stood up and said, every month i go to the il and have bible study with the young man who killed my son. at that moment, i could not conceive. i was crying and i waited until everybody went up to her afterwards and i was the last one and i said, i don't understand how you do this. she said, with god and

sursedes any human understanding. i hugged her. i often wanted to -- i don't even know the woman's name or how to connect with her -- and who would have no two years later that i would suffer the same fate. i was so impressed and amazed and that i think is where the seed was originally planted. i never forgot that woman. >> jesus said, father forgive them. they know not what they are doing. i often think they do know what they are doing. how do you forgive person to know what they are doing? >> again, in his particular case -- there were four people involved. one other assailant who i pray never gets out. some people are just beyond redemption. and so the fact that he had a conscious. had he not confessed, he would have never did time for that.

and he is institutionalized. he went in at 16. he was st 15. now s a grown man, almost 21 years later, trying to navigate his way through the world. in his particular case, the fact that he demonstrated a conscience, made it easier for me. we are in this with spirits. so while you can forgive the person, you cannot necessarily forgive the act. that is the way i approached it and i often thought of it as jesus saying on the cross and one of his last words was, forgive them. for they do not know whthdohad toy a lot just usey ng and understanding the way i was taught by my parents and grandfather. and the other thing too, it was very liberating for me too.

i felt like i was 5 pounds when i walked out of the san quentin prison that day. you don't realize -- and i have seen a lot of other parents like me who becoetter d holdtosaw that and know of your struggle will say, i would never forgive. some take 20 something years. some take one year. some take a week -- was that in south carolina or north carolina? where the fellow came in and killed all the people. and they said, we forgive him. and we said, how can you do that? i was one of those. >> i remember it was a week after the act when this kid was in court, dylann roof was his name. aneq one of them, family members of the victims. and i was -- that actually encouraged me, when i saw that.

i want to say i went back and forth. i started to back out. it is one of those things you wrestle with. because this was my first born. my only daughter. i could have had grandchildren by now. she would be 38 years old now. >> one of your mentors said that if you don't wrestle with your demons, the angels will never sing. and one of the wrestling's you do is to learn to forgive. it is easy to say that but it is hard to put it into action, i'm sure. >> i have never known that quote by him but wow, yes. you do have to wrestle. we are bound by the slash. we the other appeal was that many

people in the family were objectionable to me doing this. her mother, for one. and even after she came to grips with it, she still has her own feelings towards him that she has to reconcile within herself. >> one thing about forgiveness as everyone has to do it at their own pace and level. so when you have people saying, you have to forgive -- you haven't gone through what they have gone through. have you gone in their shoes? >> exactly. and i have seen so many people does this thing that cnn posted on facebook has gone viral. almost at 6.5 million views. there are thousands of comments. several people who had their children murdered said, i will -and-so and the sun that. d i p u. that is all i can >> at is r. one of thegs

nelson malked about when he came out of prison, that the two roads to health and wholeness is goodness and forgiveness. with those roads are hard to walk sometimes. >> you are quoting some of my favorites. and how amazing was he to have been incarcerated and to come out and then to hire some of his jailers to be at the inauguration. >> that's right. 27 years and you do that? >> an incredible human being. >> we have one more segment. come backo with usthlacey as we conclude our "learning to forgive" and how important that is for our lives.

learning to forgive is always a process. something i asked donald in these last few minutes, is there a way that helps with the learning because we are all in the process and we have to learn to forgive and our relationships, society and the world. is there a set way that you think? >> i really don't think there is, other than what i would say is, if you really want to for yourself.

because forget the person who did you wrong, be it a friend or whatever. holding on to that, you are not hurting them at all. if you want to improve yourself and raise your vibration level, i would say say, become selfish about it. how can i make myself better and maybe that will help you look past. >> you are taking the poison that you want them to take. >> that is exactly right. but it is still a hard process. >> it is. it is. and you don't necessarily have to forget. but for your own self benefit and to improve your quality of life ople alyshoare you doing, mr. lacey? i say, every day i wake up is a good day. i started there. and then everything else that happens, i'm embracing every

experience. >> what do you pray every day? >> the 27th and the 93rd psalm. >> it is a great one. >> a dear friend of mine gave me that in a gold frame for my 35th birthday and it hangs on my wall. >> i preached on that years ago. and i remember the title, "the secret plac ." i know you have been an example to so many people throughout the city of oakland and not just the city of oakland but throughout the country, for what you have done and the work that you do. i pray for your career to continue to bloom and all that you bring to acting. we have not heard much of the comedy but we know you are a superb comedian. >> you, sir. >> and we know all of you do with activism in this society. continue that work. >> god bless you.

congratulations. 7 . if i look half as good, i will be doing all right. >> thank you. i appreciate that. i hope you have learned a lot. with donald lacey, i am ron swisher. i read recently that god has to forgive us or there would be no one in heaven. all of us need forgiveness at some point in our lives. mistakes we make. errors that we make. we fall short and we all need help. learn to forgive. god bless you all!

live from the cbs bay area studios, this is kpix 5 news. >> it's a busy weekend for bay area restaurants as outdoor dining resumes for the first time this year. >> we are so overjoyed to see this tonight. we really just, it feels really good. >> a gruesome murder live streamed on social media, we are getting our first look at the suspected killer. it's an all out race to stay ahead of the coronavirus as to troubling new variance turn up in the bay area but now one trendline is racing the right direction.

good morning, it's sunday, january 31, i'm emily turner. let's start with a check of our weather with