fun. like i saw people do, you know, ashes to ashes. she's among the ashes now. she would like that. just so much loss. just so many sad stories. if you want to get involved and help the victims, go to redcross.org/cbs to donate. or you can also call 1-800-redcross or make a $10 donation. thank you so much for watching on a very, very tough week. the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> from netflix, the people who brought you "hot frosty" comes the new twist on a christmas classic no one asked for. "horny christmas tree." after losing her husband to a freak accident at seaworld,

kathy was expecting to spend christmas alone until she decorated her tree with a magical string of tinsel. the whimsical tale of a festive christmas tree that sprung a yule log. it was a love that would last forever, or january. also streaming... "gigolo dreidel." >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight... drone stop believin'. plus, stephen welcomes adrien brody! and ben schwartz! featuring louis cato and "the late show" band! and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey!

wow. welcome, hello, friends! welcome in here, out there, all around the world to "the late show." i'm your host, i'm stephen colbert. [cheers] let me ask you something. anybody here have money in the stock market? [scattered cheers] not anymore! because today, the dow plunged more than 1,100 points. that, that is a lot of... dow units. dowlings. moist dowlettes. this -- don't know what it means. this plunge caps off a ten-day losing streak, the longest such stretch since 1974. 50 years. and remember, keep this in mind, that '74 market collapse shocked the world, because bachman turner overdrive assured everyone that they were taking

care of business! every day. taking care of business in every way! it's all right! [applause] despite this turbulent market, you don't see me shakin'. 'cause i've taken all my money and placed it safely in meme coin. okay? i'm fine. for instance, i've put it in the very real crypto-currency called fartcoin, which, and this is true, today surged to a nearly $1 billion market cap. but i'm not here to brag about my good fortune. that's the thing about fartcoin. it's silent but wealthy. [applause] of course -- trademark. trademark. of course, it's that special time of year when we deck the halls and put presents under the tree and look to the sky in hopes of catching a new jersey drone. i'll give you the lowdown on the highups in my unsettlingly frequent segment, "unseen mysteries

of the hidden secrets." ♪ ♪ [warbling] welcome. drones: where do they come from? where do they go? where do they come from, cotton-eyed drone? [laughter] at this point, at this point, citizens, we still don't know. but after weeks of feverish public speculation, last night, we finally heard from the president... sort of. >> what's the explanation from all those drones over new jersey? what's behind all that? >> there's nothing nefarious, apparently, but they're checking it all out. [laughter] >> stephen: "nothing nefarious apparently"? doesn't exactly inspire confidence. also, joe, if you're trying to reassure an anxious nation,

maybe don't do it in the spookiest lighting humanly possible. "listen, folks. listen up. nah, i'm serious. nah, i'm serious, folks. listen up. i'm not kiddin'. it's all gonna be fine n' dandy, as long as we don't move and don't say a word, okay? gotta stay perfectly silent, otherwise those drones'll swoop in and eat the big strong guy from "the office." i love "a quiet place." my favorite volume setting." so the drones... [cheers] the drones are a nothing burger. unless you ask republicans, who think it's very suspicious that there's nothing suspicious. take south carolina representative and adult woman who gets her makeup done at the american girl store, nancy mace. mace, representative mace loves to fear-monger about anything and everything, which might be why this week, she floated the theory that the

drones could be from outer space. yes, obviously the drones could be aliens who are all famously obsessed with new jersey. we know this. we know this. we all saw the scene from "close encounters." [delicate music] ♪ ♪ ♪ living on a prayer ♪ ♪ take my hand ♪ >> stephen: we'll have more on this story as it continues to be nothing. speaking of the sky: space, the sky's dad. remember over the summer when those two nasa astronauts went to the international space station but then they got stuck up there and they're still up there? and we forgot about 'em until i asked you if you remembered it just now? good times. well, their return has now been delayed until at least late march, which will be 10 months after they left. i'm guessing the games of eye spy are getting predictable. "eye spy with my little eye -- "

"hatch. you spy a hatch. it's always hatch." these astronauts, who, as a reminder, were originally supposed to be up there for eight days, are butch wilmore and suni williams. evidently the issue currently keeping them up there is that a fresh crew needs to launch before wilmore and williams can return, and there's a delay in launching their replacements. oh, gee! i wonder why! "okay, everybody, listen up. who wants to replace the crew that we stranded in space for a year? hands up where i can see 'em. come on. nobody gets tang until somebody volunteers." space food sticks? lotta folks are concerned about the astronauts' welfare up there but in a statement, nasa reassured us that the crew is "well-stocked with food, water, clothing, oxygen, and also have special items to celebrate the holidays." and what a holly-jolly christmas that'll be. ♪ i'm dreaming of a new ♪

♪ poop-tube ♪ [laughter] they poop in a tube. back on earth, back earthside, remember that iowa poll that came out right before the election that showed trump losing the state by 3 to 4 points to the nice lady who didn't do the crimes? well, trump remembers. because yesterday, we found out that trump is suing iowa pollster ann selzer and the des moines register newspaper for that poll, claiming they were seeking "accountability for brazen election interference." you won! so now it's interference just to get a prediction wrong? in that case, punxatawney phil, you better lawyer up, buttercup, if you ever want to see your shadow again. i got another one. i got another one. the lawsuit says the defendants favored the democratic nominee

"through the use of a leaked and manipulated" poll. it's true, the des moines register leaked its poll where you'd least expect it: in the des moines register. same way i leak my opinion every night at 11:30, 10:30 central, following your local news, sports, and weather leaks. so why -- wait, why. this is the question. why is this stupid thing stupidly happening? my guess: because of the stupid stupid thing abc did. you see, this weekend, abc news agreed to pay $15 million and issued an apology to settle a defamation lawsuit. [booing] if the president thinks he can bully the media into never saying anything bad about him, well... what else is going on? what are we -- what are we -- timberlake? are we doing timberlake? let's do timberlake. justy, my bestie, is havin' a

rough one, because last night, at a concert in nashville, justin timberlake suffered a mortifying wardrobe malfunction. and it's being described universally as "embarrassing," "awkward," and "sparking ruthless mockery." that sounds pretty crazy. jim, roll the humiliation. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: yeah. yeah, that is embarrassing. and obviously, it's embarrassing because of... jim, is there any reporting on why it's embarrassing? obviously because of his "underwhelming bulge." right! exactly. exactly what i was thinking. because justin's bulge is not the size it should be. it should be a little bigger? longer? higher? otherwise why would people be using the word "tiny" and making jokes like he's "bringing micro back."

ha, ha, ha. yes, i see that's very funny because it's not just "small" it's clearly very small, which is what i was thinking all along. it should be as big as a regular one... which has lots of more of it. jim, you're shooting me from the waist up, right? good. good. all right, okay. [applause] bring my cadillac around. there's big news from the x-rated world, because pornhub will block access for floridians on january 1st. i'm sure this comes as terrible news to all those floridians whose new year's resolution is to watch more porn. if you're in the sunshine state and logging onto the website, you'll get a pop-up that says "you will lose access to pornhub in 14 days." meaning, in just two weeks, you'll no longer get a pop-up.

[drumbeat] thank you. that was half-hearted. that was half-hearted. the reason for the pornhub hubbub? as of january 1st, a new law takes effect in florida, requiring users to upload sensitive personal information to verify their age. as the popup puts it, "you'll be required to prove you are 18 years or older such as by uploading your government i.d. for every adult content website." pornhub knows this is a slippery slope. they're not set up to have your secure information. they have no interest in collecting your mom's maiden name. they want your stepmom's maiden name. it also may be a little tougher to throw a party this season, because party city is planning to file for its second bankruptcy in nearly two years. oh, that's so sad. you know what? i should throw them a goodbye party. i'll go to -- [gasps] no.

i didn't see that coming. reportedly, the retailer is behind on rent on some 850 locations. why now? apparently, pressure intensified due to the effects of the covid pandemic and a helium shortage. [high-pitched] devastating. truly devastating. i don't know why you're clapping. this is a tragedy. people are gonna lose their jobs, you monsters! we've got a great show for you tonight! my guests are adrien brody and ben schwartz. but when we come back, i take a look at some holiday celebrity endorsements. stick around. ♪ ♪

when i was diagnosed with h-i-v, i didn't know who i would be. but here i am... ...being me. keep being you... ...and ask your healthcare provider about the number one prescribed h-i-v treatment, biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in many people—whether you're 18 or 80. with one small pill, biktarvy fights h-i-v to help you get to undetectable—and stay there whether you're just starting or replacing your current treatment. research shows that taking h-i-v treatment as prescribed and getting to and staying undetectable prevents transmitting h-i-v through sex. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. rare, life-threatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. don't take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding or have kidney or liver problems. if you have hepatitis b, don't stop taking biktarvy without talking to your healthcare provider.

common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. no matter where life takes you, biktarvy can go with you. talk to your healthcare provider today. prime's exclusive wild card playoff game is coming. the steelers. the ravens. they're a prime super bowl contender. what a night! prime's exclusive wild card playoff game. steelers. ravens. with cascade platinum plus, i have upped my dish game auntie, in that dishwasher? watch me platinum plus gives you the highest standard of clean, even in your machine. clean enough for you? yeah! scrape. load. done. cascade platinum plus. alright, we got your home and auto bundled and you saved hundreds. that's nice, with the economy and all. scrape. load. done. what's the economy? you got your supply, and you've got your demand. but that -- but see -- but that's supply-side economics -- i'll just look it up. -self-starter. -mmhm. your gut is like a garden growing both good bacteria and bad. that balance is key to a healthy gut environment. benefiber's plant-based prebiotic fiber

gently nourishes the good bacteria, working with your body to help your gut, and you, flourish. effortlessly. every day. grow what feels good. with benefiber.

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> stephen: give it up for louis cato and "the late show" band, my loves. there you go.

that's all you need right there. that's all you need is love! i'm so excited! man, brother, i am so excited! [cheers and applause] we've got, coming up in just a minute, just two tremendous performers. i love them both for different reasons. one, right over here, we're going to have from "sonic the hedgehog 3" sonic himself, ben schwartz will be here. [cheering] global superstar at this point. sonic. and from the new movie "the brutalist," adrien brody will be here! [cheering] two very similar movies. two very similar movies. looking forward to both of those right there. folks, this holiday, please don't forget the true reason for the season is buying stuff. also, all the good stuff.

but we're buying stuff to celebrate it. but right now, some of the biggest names in music are partnering with companies for holiday ads. there's snoop dogg for t-mobile, charli xcx for converse, and mariah carey for kay jewelers. i'm just happy she finally found a way to make some money around christmastime. and there you are, darling. the queen herself. it got me thinking, we have a group of incredibly talented musicians right there, louis cato and "the late show" band. [applause] i've got to say, guys, i got to say, you know, you're talented, you're famous, everybody likes you. i'm surprised you haven't done any holiday commercials of your own. >> well, stephen, that's just because my holiday commercial hasn't been released yet. >> stephen: joe saylor! i didn't know you had a holiday commercial. when does it come out? >> right now! >> stephen: well, we can't -- >> roll it, jim! >> as a percussionist, i know people love the sound of bells during the holidays. everywhere you go, it's bells, bells, bells, bells.

but it gets so annoying. that's why i created joe saylor's silent bells. all the jingle with no jangle. we have sound-free versions of all your favorite holiday bells like silver bells, hand bells, sleigh bells, and even the traditional yuletide gong. [soft thud] for all you firefighters that need a break, try my new silent fire alarm. >> got any fives? >> go fish. [screaming] >> get joe saylor's silent bells today. tell them your slogan, billy bell. >> i have no ding-dong. [cheers and applause] >> yeah. that's pretty great, right? >> stephen: i'm happy for you, joe. >> hey, stephen! >> stephen: endea owens, what's going on? >> i have a commercial too. can i show mine? >> stephen: sorry, we can't

show commercials in the middle of the show. >> you let joe show his. >> stephen: i didn't let him. he just -- >> great! roll it, jim! holidays are a great time to share a meal with family, but there's just one problem. >> should i make all of these peas? i don't want to have too many or too little. >> don't worry, i've got you. introducing endea owens' individually wrapped frozen peas. each one of my peas comes sealed in its own plastic pouch. so you have just the right amount. >> hey, honey, kayla's home from college. it's going to be seven for dinner. >> just use our handy chart to find the right serving size. >> uh, seven? that's 819 peas. >> then simply unwrap the desired amount. >> and...got it. >> then you're ready to cook! >> hey, honey, kayla's brought a friend. we're going to need more peas. >> okay. >> with endea owens individually

wrapped peas, you're ready for anything. >> hey, turns out uncle john's allergic to peas so don't make too many. >> we even include resealable bags so you can refreeze individual peas. so say goodbye to food waste and hello to regular waste with endea owens individually wrapped frozen peas. >> honey, are those peas ready yet? >> shut the [bleep] up, david! [cheers and applause] >> what do you think? >> stephen: wow, you really went for it. >> thank you! >> stephen: guys, i know holidays are a big time for commercials and i brought the subject up, but we just can't do this. >> hey, stephen's right. this time of year, it's easy to get swept up in the commercialism, but we need to remember the holidays are about giving. >> stephen: thank you, louis. >> louis: let me finish. the holidays are about giving me a chance to show my new commercial. roll it, jim!

>> look, we've all been there. you finally got yourself a nice new roof, but now winter is here and with it comes snow, ice, and of course santa and his big dumb reindeer trampling all over your brand-new shingles. but not anymore. introducing louis cato's roof wolves, the only wolf sculptures guaranteed to scare away pesky reindeer and jolly old saints. here's how it works. place the pack of roof wolves near your chimney and any motion within 500 yards will activate their ultra luminscent glowing red eyes and 100-decibel lifelike howls. [howling] and if that's not enough, roof wolves mark their territory by spraying authentic full-strength wolf urine. [howling] >> what is that smell? >> that is the smell of a pristine roof. >> this christmas, protect what matters most. >> daddy, santa didn't bring us any presents this year. >> nope. thanks, roof wolves. >> louis cato's roof wolves. from the makers of tooth fairy glue traps.

>> stephen: thanks for all those commercials, guys. how about some more? we'll be right back with adrien brody. ♪ ♪ ♪ i have type 2 diabetes, but i manage it well. ♪ ♪ it's a little pill with a big story to tell. ♪ ♪ i take once-daily jardiance... ♪ ♪ ...at each day's start. ♪ ♪ as time went on, it was easy to see. ♪ ♪ i'm lowering my a1c! ♪ and for adults with type 2 diabetes... ...and known heart disease, jardiance can lower the risk of cardiovascular death, too. serious side effects include increased ketones in blood or urine, which can be fatal. stop jardiance and call your doctor right away if you have nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, tiredness, trouble breathing, or increased ketones. jardiance may cause dehydration that can suddenly worsen kidney function and make you feel dizzy, lightheaded, or weak upon standing. genital yeast infections in men and women,

urinary tract infections, low blood sugar, or a rare, life threatening bacterial infection between and around the anus and genitals can occur. call your doctor right away if you have fever or feel weak or tired and pain, tenderness, swelling or redness in the genital area. don't use if allergic to jardiance. stop use if you have a serious allergic reaction. call your doctor if you have rash, swelling, difficulty breathing, or swallowing. you may have increased risk for lower limb loss. call your doctor right away if you have new pain or tenderness, sores, ulcers or infection in your legs or feet. ♪ jardiance is really swell... ♪ ♪ ...the little pill with a big story to tell. ♪ who are you texting? i'm shopping for a car on carmax. a car?! are you sure you can afford it? that's a big purchase! relax! i got pre-qualified and shopped by my monthly budget so i know it's a good decision. unlike jenny's new piercing... ♪♪ [beep-beep] the highlight of the day is mahomes getting the new iphone 16 at t-mobile. it's built for apple intelligence. hustle down to t-mobile like a dog chasing a squirrel... chasing a nut! at t-mobile, get iphone 16 on us.

[snoop dogg humming the t-mobile theme song] ♪ like a relentless weed, moderate to severe ulcerative colitis symptoms can keep coming back. start to break away from uc with tremfya... with rapid relief at 4 weeks. tremfya blocks a key source of inflammation. at one year, many people experienced remission... and some saw 100% visible healing of their intestinal lining. serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. healing is possible with tremfya. ask your doctor about tremfya today. ♪

♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey, everybody!

[cheering] hello, friends. welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is an academy award winning actor you know from "the grand budapest hotel," "succession," "the pianist," and so much more. his latest film is "the brutalist." please welcome back to "the late show," adrien brody. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ they're lovely people. >> adrien: wow. you guys are a great audience. you guys are a great audience. >> stephen: it's so nice to see you again. did you park your motorcycle out front?

what gang are we in now, adrien? nice to see you again. >> adrien: lovely to see you. thank you. >> stephen: the new film "the brutalist" is already getting extraordinary reviews. i cannot wait to see it. i feel like the trailer deserves an award at this point. it's so beautiful. it looks like a work of such soaring artistic and emotional ambition. it's about an architect named laszlo toth who's a hungarian who comes to the united states escaping war-torn europe and finding his way in this new country, the difficulty of that. and i understand this hits home personally for you in a way that i wasn't aware of, so tell the people why. >> adrien: very much so. some of you may know my mother is a wonderful photographer, very respected photographer named sylvia plachy, and she has a hungarian-born artist and she and my grandparents fled hungary and 1956 during the revolution.

and so her journey and -- you know, the struggles and sacrifices along the way of that immigrant experience is very personal to me because i am the son of a hungarian immigrant. so it's a big honor for me to& impart some of the insight i have into that, and i think that speaks to many people of all backgrounds, and it's part of what shapes this wonderful nation. >> stephen: pardon me for asking. is your mother still with us? and did you discuss the role with her? >> adrien: oh, yes, very much. yes, she has been a guiding light for this and my grandfather, in particular, whose very pronounced hungarian accent was something i channeled for this character. we worked very hard with a dialect coach and -- but i found truth in that, it was so intimate for my whole youth of

what i grew up around, not just the voice, but a certain hungarian sensibility. >> stephen: how would you describe? i have a couple of friends i know from hungary. how would you describe the hungarian sensibility? >> adrien: they are wonderfully enthusiastic and passionate and somewhat outspoken, and it's a good quality. it's like if you know new yorkers, and new yorkers are similar in that respect i think, but if you're not familiar with it, it's sometimes, you don't know if it's a joke or if it is a joke, there's a lot of truth in it. >> stephen: dark humor. >> adrien: they don't really hide that and then they say "it was a joke." like, there's a lot of truth in that, grandma. >> stephen: we have a clip here that we want to show. what do we need to know about this? it's you and guy pierce.

>> adrien: yes, this is a moment where laszlo toth, my character, comes to america and he had done a project to renovate guy's character's library in his home and had been kicked out in a fury. and now van buren, guy's character, comes to find him and he does a little bit of research on laszlo and he discovers all of these buildings that he created back in europe, and laszlo is amazed that they still exist, because his understanding was that most would've been demolished during the nazi occupation. >> stephen: jim? >> these are yours? yes? ♪ ♪

>> yes. >> all of them? >> yes. >> i'm sorry. have i upset you? >> no. not at all. i did not realize these images were still available. much less of any consequence. may i keep these? >> of course you may. you're very artistic. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: so beautiful. we have to take a quick break right here. we will be back with more adrien brody! so you be right there!

have you always had trouble with your weight? same. discover the power of wegovy®. with wegovy®, i lost 35 pounds. and some lost over 46 pounds. and i'm keeping the weight off. i'm reducing my risk. wegovy® is the only weight-management medicine proven to reduce risk of major cardiovascular events such as death, heart attack, or stroke in adults with known heart disease and obesity. don't use wegovy® with semaglutide or glp-1 medicines, or in children under 12. don't take if you or your family had mtc, men 2, or if allergic to it. tell your provider if you plan to have surgery or a procedure, are breastfeeding, pregnant, or plan to be. stop taking and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or any of these allergic reactions. serious side effects may include pancreas inflammation and gallbladder problems. call your prescriber if you have any of these symptoms. wegovy® may cause low blood sugar in people with diabetes, especially if you take medicines to treat diabetes.

call your prescriber about vision changes, if you feel your heart racing while at rest, or if you have mental changes. depression or thoughts of suicide may occur. common side effects include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain, flu, or upset, headache, feeling tired, dizzy, or bloated, gas, and heartburn. some side effects lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems. with wegovy®, i'm losing weight, i'm keeping it off, and i'm lowering my cv risk. ask your prescriber about wegovy®. dove men+care whole body deo protects you everywhere. here... when you're there. there... where you're here. even... down there. dove men whole body deo. care that goes everywhere, everywhere. introducing new eroxon gel,

the first fda-cleared ed treatment available without a prescription. eroxon gel is clinically proven to work within ten minutes, so you and your partner can experience the heights of intimacy. new eroxon ed treatment gel.

>> stephen: hey, everybody! star of the new film "the brutalist," adrien brody. at one point in the movie, your character laszlo toth is asked why architecture? adrien brody, why acting? [laughs] you know the joke about writing about music is like dancing about architecture? you're a painter. paint me about acting.

why acting? >> adrien: i am plagiarizing this, but it beats working for a living. it didn't occur to me before you asked me the question. i am so grateful to have found acting and for acting to have found me. and i do owe that to my mother as well. she had an assignment to photograph an acting school when i was a boy and saw that i love people and study people and human individuality and i would always kind of tell stories and recreate things. and so she just saw that i had -- it would be a good fit for me and it also kept me from hanging out on the streets of queens. so look at me now. >> stephen: anybody else in your family? are you descended from actors? >> adrien: no, although my grandfather aspired to be an actor here. >> stephen: hungarian grandfather? >> adrien: my hungarian grandfather, yes,

my mother's father. we are very similar in a lot of ways. he got a job as a tertiary role in a play on broadway, of "zorba the greek," is my understanding. and he was required to dance, which i don't think he was a great dancer. but there was a moment where the director had made some choices and my grandfather piped up and told him how he thinks he should do it -- [laughter] which i can relate to. my poor grandfather got fired. so there went his acting dreams. >> stephen: there you go. do you do that too? >> adrien: i try to bite my -- maybe it's the hungarian in me, but i tend to -- my humble opinion but i think you might want to put the camera over here. [laughter] maybe come a little closer. >> stephen: wes anderson, does

everything have to be symmetrical? >> adrien: no definitely not. most directors do not need symmetry for me, and for the kind of movies we make. >> stephen: much like your character, you have an interest in design and restoration. if we were to drop in to your crib, what would be the design aesthetic that we would experience? >> adrien: i have a pretty eclectic taste. i do like to integrate things that have moved me or that i have found along the way in my travels. i don't want to digress from this too much, but i made "the darjeeling limited" with wes anderson and owen wilson and i tried to figure out how i could buy one of the train cars that we shot in to ship it home and put it in the countryside and i thought it would be an amazing thing. it was such an enormous cost to ship alone a train car, so i ended up not doing it. but then i went to owen wilson's

house and he just asked for a door. and it is so beautiful on his wall. it is a work of art. and i'm so mad that my vision is so big. but i tend to find things that are unique that are found in the house and i went antique shopping in the countryside and i found this beautiful old slot machine, antique slot machine. one arm bandit. and not that i am a huge gambler, but i thought it just looked nice. and it was so beautiful that i bought it. we loaded in the hatch and i'm driving home, and -- you guys remember that movie "big"? i think that some of you weren't born yet. zoltar. i auditioned to play him in that movie.

i was child actor and i auditioned to play tom hanks as a boy. i didn't get the roll. [laughter] >> stephen: would've been a good movie. [laughter] >> adrien: if only they had hired me. it would've been better for me. anyhow, we're driving home and this eerie kind of mystical music starts emanating from this unplugged slot machine in the hatchback. and it starts playing -- and it's playing and playing and i am like, i scored. i got a haunted slot machine. i scored. i thought "this is going to be amazing." and i bring it home and i am trying to understand. maybe there's some battery that remains. but this is old. and i get it home and it turns out the poor woman who sold it to me had opened it up to show me how it worked and the mechanism worked and she forgot

her cell phone in it. she was frantically calling for me to pick up. [laughter] and i was so disappointed. >> stephen: adrien, lovely to see you again. thank you so much for being here. "the brutalist" is in select theaters on friday and nationwide in january. adrien brody, everybody. we'll be right back with ben schwartz. with so many choices on booking.com there are so many tina feys i could be. so i hired body doubles. 30,000 followers tina in a boutique hotel. or 30,000 steps tina in a mountain cabin. ooh! booking.com booking.yeah ♪♪ some people just know they can save hundreds on car insurance by checking allstate first. like you know to check your spelling first before taking off your shirts. west virginia! [stadium noise]

yeah...oh, yeah. stew virginia? yeah, checking first is smart. so check allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. -hey, what's up? i'm the “w”. -hey. you're in good hands with allstate. prime's exclusive wild card playoff game is coming. the steelers. the ravens. they're a prime super bowl contender. what a night! prime's exclusive wild card playoff game. steelers. ravens. only on prime. time to press rewind with... neutrogena rapid wrinkle repair. it has derm-proven retinol... ...expertly formulated... ...to target skin cell turnover... ...and fights not one—but 5 signs of aging. with visible results... ...in just one week. neutrogena the first time you try bounce, it hits you. your laundry feels way fresher, softer. so you start to wonder. if i put a sheet of bounce on the finance guy, will it make him softer? bounce can't do it all but for better laundry, ♪ put a sheet on it with bounce. ♪

if you're living with hiv, imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills. ♪♪ good to go binge-watch. ♪♪ good to go out even later. ♪♪ with cabenuva, there's no pausing for daily hiv pills. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month. it's two injections from a healthcare provider, as few as 6 times a year. don't take cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients, or taking certain medicines, that may interact. serious side effects include allergic reactions or rash, post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if these occur, get medical help right away. tell your doctor about your medicines or supplements, medical conditions, liver or kidney problems, mental health, pregnancy, and breastfeeding. the most common side effect is injection site reaction ♪♪ with cabenuva, you're good to go. without daily hiv pills. talk to your doctor about switching.

♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, welcome back. thank you, ladies and gentlemen! thank you, my friends. you know, my friends, my next guest is an emmy award-winning comedian you know from "parks and recreation," "house of lies," and "sonic the hedgehog." he now reprises his role as sonic in "sonic the hedgehog 3." >> who is this guy? >> he is much more impressive than the hedgehog i fought previously. >> dude, i am standing right here. now come on. he can't take us all at once! >> ow! [fighting noise] [screaming] >> okay, he took us all at once. >> stephen: please welcome back to "the late show,"

ben schwartz. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ben: wow, great job! unbelievable to see you. how is everybody? [cheers and applause] wow, welcome to the show! very exciting show.

willem defoe is here. willem dafoe is here from "the lighthouse." >> stephen: he is not coming on for the other? good to see you again. >> ben: great to see you. >> stephen: congratulations on "sonic the hedgehog 3". >> ben: thank you. you've seen it? >> stephen: we'll get to that. don't rush it. how many "sonics?" >> ben: my hope is 15 sonics, so by the tenth sonic he is really worried about his back and running is no longer an option. he is like walking but powerwalking. >> stephen: past your 40s, sonic has to think about his knees. >> ben: has a torn meniscus. >> stephen: he doesn't ski anymore. >> ben: how could he? with his knees and that back. how are your knees? we don't talk about it. >> stephen: my left knee. with the weather.

>> ben: i get sharp pains every now and then. >> stephen: really? how old are you? >> ben: this is going to blow everybody's mind. i am 76 years old. you can clap. that's so messed up, you should clap. that's old. >> stephen: you know what a sonic-head i am. >> ben: i don't know if you know, stephen colbert knows everything there is to know about sonic the hedgehog. >> stephen: every sega genesis game. >> ben: you know altered beast and golden axe? do you know quack shot? donald duck. >> stephen: let's not talk about that now, let's talk about sonic the hedgehog. what am i getting in 3? >> ben: you are getting keanu reeves as shadow. >> stephen: i know that shadow falls in love with maria. >> ben: let's not say in love. they become close friends. >> stephen: friends can't love? this is a tough time for me to find out, ben. >> ben: oh, my god. that's when i realized he was right.

friends can love. a 30-minute monologue. they become very close friends. he has a very dark backstory, and his story line is filled with revenge. >> stephen: bad guy keanu. >> ben: but also canadian legend keanu. have you met keanu reeves? >> stephen: have i met keanu reeves? >> ben: arm wrestle. >> stephen: do you need a pad? >> ben: i don't need a pad. i am 20 years younger than you. i'm going to get absolutely crushed. he is going to beat me, but i' really going to try. are you ready? >> stephen: i won't try. >> ben: have you ever seen "over-the-top" with sylvester stallone? >> stephen: 100%, yes. >> ben: have you? >> stephen: you don't know about the lock, you gotta lock it in. like that. that keeps you rooted like this. this or that.

>> stephen! stephen! >> ben: help a little bit. for this man, can you cheer for me i just want one person to say ben. so start it off. no, just him. my name, ben. go for it. >> stephen: chant ben! >> ben: i can't get one person to say my name. in a universe filled with stephens, there is not one ben. >> stephen: i think you're doing okay. you're never invited back. >> ben: one, two, three. i'm going to win. i know i'm going to win. >> stephen: wait a second. you started like this. ready? right up here. >> ben: he is going to do it again. this is what over-the-top happens. >> stephen: what are you doing? how are you cheating already? >> ben: i will go limp until you tell me.

>> stephen: no, don't go limp. i'm not in hospice! i'm 60. >> ben: congratulations. when was your birthday? it was just his birthday, guys. >> stephen: thank you. i'm 73. >> ben: can i do something? we have to play thumb war underneath. i just invented it. name it. what is this game? thumb war underneath. >> stephen: battle under the bridge. >> ben: battle under the bridge, now you can't cut it. it's one of the best things we have ever done. and by the way, "sonic the hedgehog 3" is coming in theaters december 20th. okay, ready? >> stephen: one, two, three. >> ben: i love this idea. ready? i love coming on the show. this is great. i don't care about winning either. >> stephen: oh, i do. >> ben: do you? one, two, three. go. ready? hey, stephen -- >> stephen: right. one, two, three, go. >> ben: i got it again.

>> stephen! stephen! >> oh, no! >> stephen: this distracted you. this distracted you. >> ben: it can't be over, is it over? >> stephen: international point scoring. this is ten points, this is only seven. >> ben: by the way, you had me too. can you ask one question before it's over? >> stephen: it's not over. what's the question? do you remember the first time you made someone laugh? >> ben: [laughs] i thought you were going to do james lipton. >> stephen: and after it says kindergarten. >> ben: i have a great story about that, do you want to hear it? >> stephen: we are out of time. "sonic the hedgehog 3" opens in theaters this friday, ben schwartz, everybody! we'll be right back! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

pete g. writes, "my tween wants a new phone. how do i not break the bank?" we got you, pete. xfinity mobile was designed to save you money and gives you access to wifi speeds up to a gig. so you get high speeds for low prices. better than getting low speeds for high prices. right, bruce? -jealous? yeah, look at that. -honestly. someone get a helmet on this guy. xfinity internet customers, ask how to get an unlimited line

free for a year, plus a free 5g phone.

(woman) i've got this dream... and you're all in it! (banker 1) let's hear it! (vo) with wells fargo premier a team can help you plan for your dream. (woman) i have this vacation home... (banker 2) so, like a getaway? (woman) yeah, but... it's also an eco-friendly artist retreat. (banker 3) so, you're expanding your business... (woman) ...and our family! can you help me plan for that? (banker 1) yeah! let's get started. (vo) ready to meet the dream team? you can with wells fargo. >> stephen: good night! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪