results have gone viral. it had a phone with a waterproof case and my phone was in there. with the water pressure and everything i just lost it. i was not expecting 50 million people to see it. >> a lifeguard was able to grab the phone out of the water and she decided to share the video on tiktok and it took off thanks in part to beautiful views and a photo bombing fish. this might end up as one of those commercials for the phone case company. >> oh, yeah. >> yeah. it survived wherever she was diving. >> but also for me personally, i just wouldn't bring the phone around the water. >> no. >> you know. >> it worked out. >> in a ziploc bag. thanks for watching! "the late show" is next. >> donald trump took the oath of office flanked by billionaires. >> mark zuckerberg, jeff bezos, sundar pichai, and elon musk. >> mark zuckerberg will also be

hosting a black-tie party to celebrate along with some high-profile republican donors. >> hey, me and some of my tech bros are throwing an inauguration party for donald trump, and i'd like to tell you about it. ♪ ♪

>> please like me. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert!" tonight... the oaf of office! plus stephen welcomes "pod save america," and musical guest jalen ngonda! featuring louis cato and "the late show" band. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey!

thank you for being here. good to see you. thank you very much. lovely people. please have a seat, my friends. welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. [cheers and applause] well, ladies and gentlemen. it happened. donald trump is president again. [booing] hey, hey, hey remember what obama said. don't boo, vote! and if possible, do that several months ago. apparently, some of you have some unpleasant feelings about all this, so i have an announcement to make: for the next four years, we get to live by airport rules. calories don't count, and it's perfectly reasonable to have a vodka tonic at 8:00 a.m. [cheers and applause] who knows what time it is

where you're gonna land? that's the time you're on. a lot of people have said to me, and i'm sure to some of my writers, "i bet deep down, you're feeling pretty good, because with trump back, the jokes write themselves." so, i just wanna say, if you don't like the jokes tonight, it's not our fault. the jokes wrote them. so, how, how, where do we begin? off we go, first of all. do you make sense of today? how did we get here? well, secretary of defense don rumsfeld had these famous axioms. he had three of them. there are "known knowns", things that you know that you know. there are "known unknowns", things that you know that you don't know. and then there are "unknown unknowns", things that you don't know that you don't know. he said that that last group was the most dangerous. but he never completed the quartet of the possible combinations. the final and, in my opinion,

the most dangerous one is: there are "unknown knowns", things that we know but we choose to un-know for some reason. well, for some reason, and it might be a perfectly understandable reason, the american people decided to un-know what they definitely knew about donald trump. [cheers and applause] well, today. today, the great remembering began. it was a frigid day down in washington, so at the last minute, trump moved his inauguration indoors. totally understandable, so, mr. president, it is with the utmost respect that i say awww, was the big stwong gweatest pwesident ever feewing a widdo chiwwy? you want hot cocoa wif mawshy-mewwows? you weather cuck. [cheering] trump announced...

trump announced the change of venue on truth social, posting "i have ordered the inauguration address, in addition to prayers and other speeches, to be delivered in the united states capitol rotunda, as was used by ronald reagan in 1985, also because of very cold weather." okay, you can't act like you're doing it just because of reagan. "honey, it's not that i couldn't perform in bed last night. it's just that out of respect for president carter, i'm flying at half staff." [laughter and applause] thank you, joe. thank you. thank you. the smart choice. instead, they held the ceremony in the capitol rotunda, or as it looked from the dome camera, the freedom pit. the thing is, the rotunda can only hold approximately 700 people, which means trump's inauguration crowd can now be

officially called the smallest of all time. [cheers and applause] probably why he did it. trump swears his crowds are normally very big, but you can't tell, 'cause it's so cold. one person who wasn't bothered by the cold weather was senator john fetterman, who arrived at the capitol in shorts. it's the most surprising cold-weather inauguration look since 2020, when bernie sanders wore those mittens and nothing else. looks good. we've got to say he looks pretty good. melania trump made a real statement with her look. that statement? i am carmen sandiego. that's the first reaction. that's the first reaction obviously but that's not entirely fair. she also looks like the guy from "spy vs. spy." and i know what some of you're

are saying, "this is the first lady we're talking about. shouldn't you say she looks like j. robert oppenheimer?" it's much more fair especially given her motto "be death." when our new president finally entered the rotunda, he immediately tried to kiss his wife and oops! denied by the hat! now we know why the brim is so big. [cheers and applause] it serves the same sanitary function as the sneeze guard on a salad bar. new york tenor christopher macchio sang the national anthem and then was named "secretary of gettin' you a nice table in the corner." then trump was sworn in by chief justice roberts. one problem: trump did not place his hand on the bible for the oath of office.

when the ceremony was gonna be outside, he was going to put his hand on the bible, but when they moved it inside, the fire marshall wouldn't allow it. here's the thing. there you go. safety first. safety first. here's the thing. if he doesn't touch the bible, is he really president? i mean, who did touch the bible? [gasps] melania! is she president now? could the hat be president? it clearly believes in a strong border. then trump got up there and gave his speech. unlike 8 years ago, it wasn't all pure darkness. just most of it. some of it was just plain weird. >> the golden age of america begins right now. >> stephen: yeah, well, when he's right, he's right. a golden age is just around the corner. because we're gettin' brand new episodes of "elsbeth"!

elsbeth: "she'll find who stole the missing vowels from her name!" thursdays at 10:00. [laughter] overall the speech was a predictable hodgepodge of well-worn complaints and grim news. here's how he addressed the tragic wildfires in california. >> they are raging through the houses and communities, even affecting some of the wealthiest and most powerful individuals in our country, some of whom are sitting here right now. they don't have a home any longer. that's interesting. >> stephen: yes. [laughter] [booing] and that's an interesting way to express condolences. it's like those hallmark cards: "i'm fascinated by your loss. weird." of course, today is also martin luther king day,

[applause] i agree wholeheartedly. and in his speech, trump promised that his presidency would honor dr. king's legacy. >> today is martin luther king day. and to his honor, this will be a great honor, but in his honor, we will strive together to make his dream a reality. we will make his dream come true. >> stephen: "yes, we will make his dream come true and that dream was, of course, buying greenland. i don't know why. not sure. maybe that's where the mountain top was. i don't know. he had his own reasons." in his speech, trump made a pledge to the nation. >> we are going to be changing the name of the gulf of mexico to the gulf of america. and we will restore the name of a great president,

william mckinley to mount mckinley. >> stephen: "and the atlantic ocean is now the miami pond. and i'm officially heretofore renaming my penis the baconater. available for a limited time only at a participating wendy's." [applause] don't encourage that sort of joke. trump also laid out his plan for american imperialism. first, he threatened to invade panama and then invade the rest of the universe. >> we will pursue our manifest destiny into the stars, launching american astronauts to plant the stars & stripes on the planet mars. >> stephen: that's right. ladies and gentlemen, it's manifest destiny, in spaaaace! after the speech, it was time for the benediction. >> heavenly father, we are so grateful that you gave our 45th and now our 47th president

a millimeter miracle. >> stephen: that's also what stormy daniels called it. we're back, baby! we're back! [cheers and applause] [laughter] we're back. but you know what? that brings up an important point. that stormy joke. today it represents a turning of the page for all americans, whether you supported trump or not. no matter how much we think we know what's going to happen over the next four years, we don't know. we all have to look at the president with fresh eyes and let go of all the things that he did during his first term and look to the future. right, mr. president? >> 2020, by the way, that election was totally rigged. >> stephen: [bleep] it. [bleep] it. he told us to inject bleach!

and i still believe there's a pee-pee tape. let the golden age begin! we got a great show for you tonight! my guests are the hosts of "pod save america". but when we come back, i'll be right here with more monologue. i hope. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ leablower ha ha ha... and i'm not exactly street legal. (leaf blower revving up) (♪♪) no... no... (♪♪) and if you don't have the right auto coverage, this could really blow your budget. so get allstate, save money... and be protected from mayhem... yah like me. (leaf blower revving up)

take a steak-cation at outback steakhouse... ...with a canberra chopped steak or 18 oz. bone-in ribeye. it's better than a staycation. i thought this was a steak-cation, not a stay-cation! ugh! your outback steak-cation starts at $14.99 for a limited time. you know what you don't see in psoriasis commercials? the thousands of real people who go undiagnosed. people whose psoriasis can look very different depending on their skin tone. as the makers of tremfya®, we understand that everybody's moderate to severe plaque psoriasis doesn't look the same. so, we undertook a first-of-its-kind study of plaque psoriasis in every skin tone. like hers and his and yours. serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. ask your dermatologist about tremfya®. ♪

dave's been very excited about saving big with the comcast business 5-year price lock guarantee. ask your dermatologist about tremfya®. five years? -five years. and he's not alone. -high five. it's five years of reliable gig speed internet. five years of advanced securit. five years of a great rate that won't change. it's back. but only for a limited time. high five. five years? -nope. comcast business 5-year price lock guarantee. powering five years of savings. powering possibilities. comcast business. - man, i need some serious help with this health insurance stuff. - check out covered california. it's a free service from the state that helps you get health insurance. millions of people have used it. - wait, for real? - mmm hmm, they even offer financial help to lower the cost. - nooo... how you know about all this? - that's how i got my insurance. i got a great plan for about $10 dollars a month. - okay, i see you. - if you've got questions, covered california can help, every step of the way. enroll by january 31st. covered california.

this way to health insurance. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. give it up for louis cato and "the late show" band. there we go. here we go. [cheers and applause] there you go. get ready. get ready. hey, everybody. welcome back. please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. folks, i'm still over here because there is too much monologue for one act. this morning, before trump assumed the presidency, there was a polite hand-off of the old style from mr. joe biden. around 10:00 a.m, trump and melania arrived at the white house. the couples went inside for tv.

in this challenging time, i've also been turning to tea to calm my nerves. i actually have a quick message for the folks over at celestial seasonings. your sleepytime flavor is broken. fix it. how is possible that the sleepytime bear is packin' so many zs? wait a minute. jimmy, put up the bear. what's next to him? zoom in. aha! it's xanax! i knew it! benzodiazepine. biden put up a friendly front, but i'm sure behind the scenes he's distraught that he was just replaced by an autocrat. why do i think that? because moments before he left office, he issued preemptive pardons to mark milley, members of the january 6th committee, dr. anthony fauci, as well as five members of his own family. so just to be safe, i have legally changed my name to sara jones biden. we've already changed the sign on the outside of the building. even though he wasn't president

until today, trump's presidential agenda kicked off yesterday. the widely anticipated tiktok ban went into effect on saturday night, and the black-out lasted 14 hours. it's what's being called "the most productive 14 hours in american history." meals were prepped, dentist appointments were made, emails were sent, conversations were had, children's names were learned. it was devastating. during the outage, when users opened tiktok, they were met with a screen that said, "a law banning tiktok has been enacted in the u.s. we are fortunate that president trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate tiktok once he takes office." it was a pathetic, transparent ploy to suck up to trump that completely worked, because shortly after, trump posted "i'm asking companies not to let tiktok stay dark! i will issue an executive order on monday to extend the period of time before the law's prohibitions take effect."

and it worked. at least until trump sees what's actually on tik tok. "easy weekday salads? kill it with fire!" [laughter] the wildest part of all of this is that even though he's saving the app now, during his first term as president, trump led the effort to ban tiktok. so, why would he reverse course? well, the explanation is pretty complicated. he has no sincerely held beliefs, and... it wasn't that complicated. [applause] [cheering] trump has also been busy making appointments to a bunch of positions that don't exist. for instance, last week, he posted, "it is my honor to announce jon voight, mel gibson, and sylvester stallone to be my special ambassadors to a great but very troubled place, hollywood,

california." that cannot feel good for other aging hollywood right-wing actors. kevin sorbo, your reaction? >> disappointed! >> stephen: he seems mad. he seems very mad. we don't know exactly what the next four years will be like, except of course, we completely do. because before even becoming president, over the weekend, trump launched the griftiest grift he has ever grifted. a trump brand crypto meme coin. now, if you don't know what that is, ask your brother-in-law, and get ready to take a pretend phone call. trump launched his meme coin on friday, and at an event called the crypto ball, featuring a performance by snoop dogg. snoop, how could you d-o-double do-this? this is a betrizzle! what happened to integri-tizzle?

are you high? stupid question. the ball was to celebrate all the crypto bros who supported trump's candidacy, but as always, the guest of honor was him, because after dropping his new coin, it reached a peak value of more than $72 billion, most of which belongs to him, because he owns about 80% of the memecoin's total supply. that is so much money, it's almost enough to have gotten a seat behind himself at his inauguration. trump isn't the first one to try to pull this kind of scam. his personal memecoin follows in the footsteps of the "hawk tuah girl." "no one knows finance quite like ms. tuah. america, in her spirit, i promise to take our economy, and spit on that thang." we'll be right back with the hosts of "pod save america." hey, happy inauguration.

♪ ♪ same. discover the power of wegovy®. with wegovy®, i lost 35 pounds. and some lost over 46 pounds. and i'm keeping the weight off. i'm reducing my risk. wegovy® is the only weight-management medicine proven to reduce risk of major cardiovascular events such as death, heart attack, or stroke in adults with known heart disease and obesity. don't use wegovy® with semaglutide or glp-1 medicines, or in children under 12. don't take if you or your family had mtc, men 2, or if allergic to it. tell your provider if you plan to have surgery or a procedure, are breastfeeding, pregnant, or plan to be. stop taking and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or any of these allergic reactions. serious side effects may include pancreas inflammation and gallbladder problems. call your prescriber if you have any of these symptoms.

wegovy® may cause low blood sugar in people with diabetes, especially if you take medicines to treat diabetes. call your prescriber about vision changes, if you feel your heart racing while at rest, or if you have mental changes. depression or thoughts of suicide may occur. common side effects include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain, flu, or upset, headache, feeling tired, dizzy, or bloated, gas, and heartburn. some side effects lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems. with wegovy®, i'm losing weight, i'm keeping it off, and i'm lowering my cv risk. ask your prescriber about wegovy®. boatloads of power. the new nissan frontier with 7,150 lbs of towing power. and... a v6 engine. ♪♪ with new mcvalue at mcdonald's, you can buy one and add one for a dollar. enjoy meal deals, and treat yourself to deals in the app.

there's always ways to save... ...all day, everyday. get more than you expect with new mcvalue

i guess what i'm looking for from you is, i mean, i know how the fire affected me, and there's always a constant fear that who's to say something like that won't happen again? that's fair. we committed to underground, 10,000 miles of electric line. you look back at where we were 10 years ago and we are in a completely different place today, and it's because of how we need to care for our communities and our customers.

i hope that's true. [joe] that's my commitment. [ambient noise] bounced from one doctor to the next. does it have to be like this? at kaiser permanente, we have a different kind of healthcare... so, how did you like doctor lum? ...where all of us work together for all that is you. mmmm... planet oat's so creamy and not watery like- exactly! and unsweetened has 0 grams of sugar. and it's an excellent source of calcium. wow! planet oat really has it all! ♪♪ ♪ ♪ home >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. hey, everybody!

love it. nice choice. thank you very much. i tell you what. i tell you. i tell you what's going to get me through the next couple years, this band right here. thank you gentlemen, ladies. folks, my guests tonight are the founders of crooked media and the hosts of "pod save america." please welcome back to "the late show," jon favreau, jon lovett, and tommy vietor! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ welcome back. it's always nice to talk to you guys. i never miss the podcast. i was going to say it's a joy. it has not been a joy since november. it's been like listening to a

couple, three gutshot guys trying to make their way through the news on a daily basis. >> because of all that's happened. >> stephen: that's exactly right, because of all that's happened. let's talk about all of it. second inaugural, happy liberation day to all of you. how are you guys feeling watching. i watch the whole thing is part of the job. how did you like it? >> i mean, it was classic trump and that he talked, everything's back, i'm amazing, i can fix everything. it's the longest inaugural in modern history. 29 minutes, the longest. >> stephen: the longest speech? >> and then he went and did a directors cut, 33 minutes after the inaugural where he got to say all the things that he felt -- for the super fans. >> stephen: people were saying

it was going to be a kinder, gentler donald trump. did you hear the unifier peacemaker? >> yeah, that's what i think about when i think of donald trump. >> stephen: no carnage this time. >> no carnage. he loves talking about himself. i was reading it again after i watched it in the line that jumped out at me, he said, you know "i have been through more than any president in the 250 year history of this country. no one has been through what i've been through." winking, washington. trump. trump has been through more than anyone. >> i would point out that george washington spent the whole winter at valley forge. and they moved today's inaugural inside. [cheering] something to think about. >> stephen: love it. there were a lot of billionaires they are today up on the stand. yet trump won the working class

vote and is positioning himself as a man of the people. how does that -- how does that -- do democrats need to get better billionaires? >> oh, well, i think right now we are fighting billionaires with billionaires but i don't know if that's a good look exactly. donald trump said he was going to help make taxes -- no taxes on tips. everybody's like, that's weird, doesn't really show empathy for working people but now we see is going to be the first president that accepts tips. and i think that made him feel kind of a kinship. >> stephen: tommy, you're a foreign policy guy. he said america is going to be the envy of every nation. we are already an enviable nation. how are our allies and even our adversaries, how are they perceiving this, from what you know? >> i think a few months ago a lot of them did envy the fact that we bounced back stronger from covid that i think any

other country. but i think now they're pretty anxious. i was talking to a german lawmaker this morning who was getting ready for their elections coming up in february. they are worried about tariffs hitting the german economy. they are worried about support for nato. they are worried about far right parties across europe during better and parties that are getting boosted by people like elon musk. >> stephen: did i hear that the ambassador to the united states from germany wrote a cable backed his own government saying trump is going to corule with the oligarchs, the tech oligarchs. >> sounds about right. elon musk bought his seat on stage day. he spent $250 million to sit on the dais and now he runs the doge or whatever. the rest of the billionaires were there to show that they've been to the knee. more like heads on a pike. but it's going to be okay. don't you think? [laughter] >> did i ruin the show? >> no, no.

>> stephen: the heads on a pike thing is only a few minutes away from not being a metaphor. what worries you most about what he'll do these 100 executive orders that he's going to sign, or 200, however many. >> he is doing a lot on immigration as he said he would when he ran. presidents typically have wide latitude to do with a wonton immigration. he will be able to do a lot of deportations if that's what he wants to do. he wants to end birthright citizenship. i think that's going to be pretty tough since it's fairly clear in the 14th amendment. >> stephen: decided in the 19th century and then again. >> a lot of these executive actions are for show. the thing that really jumped out at me is what we didn't see, there is one executive related to inflation which is basically the reason he won, right? he said inflation was out of control, prices were too high under joe biden. the executive order he signed today was a whole of government

effort in a memorandum to bring down inflation. great, that's all you needed. all you needed was to sign a memo and inflation is going to come down for tomorrow eggs are >> stephen: we have to take a quick break but we'll be right back with more jon favreau, jon lovett, tommy vietor. stick around, everybody. grandma! that's right honey, gam gam still knows how to shake that ess. the more you shake that ess, the frothier it gets. sabrina's brown sugar shakin' espresso only at dunkin. i've got to get marcus some new cleats i bet you can buy the whole team new cleats the more you shake that ess, the frothier it gets. with all that money you saved. nancy dawson is passive progressive. you know, nancy, that's actually really inappr-- oh! nancy doesn't have progressive so she takes it out on those who do. you should get luca private coaching with that. maybe he'll score a goal. i figured you'd want the whole roll since you saved hundreds with progressive. how many tickets? two, please. don't be passive progressive.

two for becky. drivers who switch could save hundreds. alice loves the scent of gain so much, she wished there was a way to make it last longer. say hello to your fairy godmother alice, and long-lasting gain scent beads. part of the irresistible scent collection from gain.

you didn't start a business just to keep the lights on. lucky for you, shopify built the just one-tapping, ridiculously fast-acting, sky-high sales stacking champion of checkouts. businesses that want to win, win with shopify. ♪♪ taffy is a traveling dog. she just loves to go. her hip pain showed up when we would go on walks. she was diagnosed with osteoarthritis pain. our veterinarian recommended that we try librela. veterinary professionals administering librela who are pregnant, trying to conceive, or breastfeeding should take extreme care to avoid self-injection, which can cause allergic reactions like anaphylaxis. she's got energy to do things that she wasn't doing before, and that's just amazing.

♪ ♪

>> stephen: hey, everybody, we are back with these three lovel& gentlemen. jon favreau, jon lovett, tommy vietor. in his speech, he mentioned he's going to, by fiat, he's going to change it to the gulf of america. can we give him this one? it's not that important, right? i don't care about it at all. our maps will say one thing, everyone's l's map will save me different. not the first time that's happened. we are not going to fight over the gulf of mexico. we are going to fight over panama. >> stephen: the gulf of mexico, the gulf of america sounds like imperial system versus metric. it doesn't matter what we say as long as the rest of the world gets it right. >> he wants to name stuff after himself, after america. he wants people to feel good

about the country. he has run out of things to do. >> stephen: it's very autocratic. the next thing to do is to name the months of the year after his mother. >> there's all kinds of things he's doing where he invents a problem and then solves it. yesterday you couldn't buy gas cars. now you can again. i can buy a gas card, thank you. >> he signed an executive action on free speech. free speech is here again. we can say what we want. he may sue us but we can say what we want. >> stephen: wow. go [bleep] yourself. [cheers and applause] i feel freer already. >> the vibe shifts. >> stephen: okay, i think will want to successful presidency for the american people. what do you think the odds of that are? because you want peace and prosperity. you don't want any president to fail based upon what those metrics are for failure. based upon previous performance

is indicative of future results? give me odds on a successful presidency, tommy vietor. speak we've got to hope for the best, plan for the worse. the trump inaugural address we were supposed to see was kind of boring and low energy, normal. then there was the overflow, the petty grievances. nancy pelosi is a criminal and stuff like that. the things we have to remember, watch what trump does, not what he says. don't chase every outraged on the rabbit hole. remember the things he cares about. the stock market going up. he cares about bad headlines. when he doesn't get what he wants from the press where the markets, he'll change course. that's the way we can influence his behavior. >> stephen: instead of asking what happened, which as i said before, i don't think people really know exactly how we are where we are. people have rushed to a lot of answers there in time will tell. i'd rather ask, what's next. how can people channel their

pure frustration into energy somewhere productive? >> we're going to have midterm elections in 2026. democrats have a very good chance of taking back the house so i think we can focus on that. if we are able to take back the house in 2026, then donald trump will never sign another piece of legislation again. [applause] focus on that. i think the democratic party needs to learn to listen to people. we just spent the last four years where a majority of americans said prices are too high, inflation is too high and the white house said no, everything is great. look at all these statistics. everyone said, the majority people so we don't want joe biden to run again because he's too old and he should make room for someone else on the white house said no, we're good. the polls are wrong. he's going to run again. we have consistently as a party felt like being right is enough and being right is not enough. you have to persuade people to believe what you're saying. i think that's what democrats have to do.

[applause] >> stephen: love let's talk about the most important thing, trump is getting credit for saving tiktok but he originally wanted to ban tiktok. whatever way you fall on this, you agree with donald trump. >> and i'm furious. >> stephen: from what you know, is this ban a good idea or bad idea? >> was never meant to be a ban. the company was supposed to be divested from its chinese ownership and sold to an american company. we don't mind having an app robbing the brains of our children. we want to be the ones doing the rotting. that's confusing to me and no one has ever made a very good case to me. this app that does so much damage is okay as long as it's in american hands. >> stephen: does it do more damage than instagram reels or other social media? >> this is the bigger point. that's a lot of research that instagram is bad for us. all the stuff is bad, it's all bad. but we have learned from the

russians in 2016 and elon musk taking over twitter, it's whether our billionaires or other countries. what we have learned is when these people throw a bunch of digital nunchucks and digital throwing stars and digital axes in the center of a bunch of americans, we will pick them up and bludgeon each other with them. it doesn't seem to really matter who owns it. the problem is these apps do so much damage to us. they suck our attention. they make stress anxious and angry and furious with one another and they -- i think there's an element of what they do which is to go toward the sensational and paranoid and conspiratorial which has shifted our politics to the right. >> stephen: don't you love a good conspiracy? >> i love a good recipe. >> stephen: i have a cookbook. "does this taste funny?" would you like this? we'll see. we have to take a quick break. will be back with more tommy

vietor, jon lovett, and jon favreau. it's clinically proven to moisturize dry skin for 48 hours. and instantly strengthen skin's barrier. for softer, smoother skin. aveeno. the power of oat for sensitive skin. introducing mcvalue, at mcdonald's. with mcvalue when i buy a sausage burrito, i can add an order of hash browns for only a dollar. and start everyday with more options to earn my sunrise...for less. ba da ba ba ba (whoosh + bird chirping sound) ♪ are you having any fun? ♪ ♪ what you getting my out of living? ♪ss. ♪ who cares for what you've got ♪ ♪ if you're not having any fun? ♪ ♪ are you having any laughs? ♪ ♪ are you getting any loving? ♪ ♪ if other people do, why can't you? ♪ ♪ have a little fun ♪ ♪ and have ♪ ♪ have a little fun ♪

[birds chirping] [dog growls] ♪♪ ♪ who knows what tomorrow ♪ ♪ will bring ♪ [dog barking] ♪ maybe sunshine, ♪ [dog whining] ♪ and maybe rain ♪ ♪ but as for me ♪ ♪ i'll wait and see ♪ [knock at door] ♪ and maybe it'll bring my love to me ♪ ♪ who knows ♪ ♪ who knows ♪ ♪♪ many remedies you take for chest congestion only mask the symptoms. hey... how you doing? this mucus won't move out. you're gonna love this property. the guy's congestion remedy? harmless.

try this. mucinex 12 hour treats the mucus that causes chest congestion for all-day relief. don't leave! it's fine! ugh! i was worried about this side of town! mucinex in, mucus out! don't mask symptoms, treat the cause. wouldn't it be great if all valentine's day gifts were filled with peanut butter? ♪♪ well, i mean... maybe not... all of them. maybe it's just reese's that are better. some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking allstate first. okay, let's get going. can everybody see that? like you know to check your desktop first, before sharing your screen. ahh..that is not. uhh, oh no. no no no. i don't know how that got in there. no. that, uhh. yeah, checking first is smart. okay, uhh. everybody get out. so check allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

you're in good hands with allstate.

>> stephen: hey, everybody. we are back with jon favreau, tommy vietor, jon lovett. okay. tommy, ceasefire announced over the weekend, implemented in israel and gaza. what do you know about the deal? >> we are in phase one of the

deal. it lasts six days. there will be a slow release of 33 hostages by hamas. [applause] >> stephen: do we know how many total hostages are still there? >> there is 94 or so. some of them tragically are dead. there will be a release of 33 hostages, mostly women, older people, people who are sick in these first days. israel will release hundreds if not thousands of palestinians they have been israeli prisons. the idf will pull back from population centers. it's a very important step. phase two is more hostage release. phase three is reconstruction. >> stephen: presently the bombing has stopped. >> presently there's a cease-fire but there's reports of sporadic violence today but generally speaking there is a cease-fire holding. >> stephen: was that the same deal offered last may? essentially the same. what changed?

>> i think president trump winning and putting pressure on netanyahu and hamas. >> stephen: so he deserves credit? >> he does. he deserves a lot of credit. i think biden's team did the diplomatic work and trump helped get it done and it's important. the key is phase two and phase three will be negotiated starting on day 16 of phase one. they've got a lot of details they have to hammer out and that's going to require attention from the trump administration to pressure israel and hamas to implement the rest of the deal and lead to a durable, lasting peace. >> stephen: on his way out, favreau, president biden offered preemptive pardons to a whole bunch of people. including his own family. you guys have talked about this on your own podcast a bunch. this was broader than even people all had guessed at. >> the preemptive pardons for

members of the january 6th committee, for dr. fauci, i think it's unfortunate biden had to do that but donald trump and the people who are going into his white house campaign on saying they're going to investigate these people, that they were guilty of crimes. >> stephen: kash patel has them on a list. >> i think the family pardons are little concerning. i get why biden did it. because again trump said the biden crime family, i'm going to investigate them all. but you just do a sweeping pardon of your family members on the way out the door i think in general the pardon power is crazy. the fact that any president can unilaterally wield this power to let anyone off the hook who does any kind of crime now i have time, it's in the wrong hands. especially of donald trump uses it. if someone -- of donald trump direct someone to commit a crime, direct someone to murder someone and he can just par them --

pardon them. it's incredibly dangerous. >> stephen: and he can't be prosecuted. >> it would be great if republicans and democrats could get together and propose a constitutional amendment to limit the pardon power. i think it's way out of control. >> stephen: fellows, thanks for being here. before you go, what are you looking forward to? what are you looking forward to in the next two years? >> buying some trump coins. >> "severance" season two. we are going to find out what happens at the end of "wicked." the second part of "wicked." >> stephen: cliffhanger. new episodes of "pod save america" are released on tuesdays and fridays. jon favreau, jon lovett, tommy vietor, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by jalen ngonda.

"the doctor will see you now." but do they really? do they see that crick in your neck?

that ache in your heart? will they see that funny little thing that wasn't there last year? a new bounce in your step? the way your retinal scan connects to your blood sugar? at kaiser permanente all of us work together to care for all that is you. (vo) fargo is your virtual assistant from wells fargo. (woman) oh, come on! come on! (vo) fargo lets you do this: (woman) fargo, turn off my debit card! (woman) i found it! i found my card! (vo) and also, this: (woman) fargo, turn on my debit card. (vo) do you fargo? you can, with wells fargo. what else can fargo do? quickly tell you what you spend on things like food. (dad) fargo, what did i spend on groceries this month? (son) hey dad, can the guys stay for dinner? (dad) no... (vo) learn more at wellsfargo.com/getfargo. mmmm... planet oat's so creamy and not watery like- exactly! and unsweetened has 0 grams of sugar.

and don't forget, it's an excellent source of calcium. ♪♪ wow! planet oat really has it all... you guys are so right! no you are. no you are. no you are. yeah, you are. ♪♪ pete g. writes, "my tween wants a new phone. how do i not break the bank?" we got you, pete. xfinity mobile was designed to save you money and gives you access to wifi speeds up to a gig. so you get high speeds for low prices. better than getting low speeds for high prices. right, bruce? -jealous? yeah, look at that. -honestly. someone get a helmet on this guy. xfinity internet customers, get a free unlimited line for a year when you buy one unlimited line.

>> stephen: he's making his u.s. television debut tonight. performing "if you don't want my love" from his album, "come around and love me," ladies and gentlemen, jalen ngonda. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ in this night ♪ ♪ a starry sky♪ ♪ my baby told me with a sigh ♪ ♪ saying words ♪ ♪ that came across as a doubt ♪

♪ i reassured that every day ♪ ♪ my love is strong ♪ ♪ in every place ♪ ♪ in your heart, i sho'nuff ♪ ♪ can't live without ♪ ♪ every mountain, every sea ♪ ♪ can never stray or burden me ♪ ♪ no matter the state ♪ ♪ of space and time ♪ ♪ keeps us close ♪ ♪ and keep us dear ♪ ♪ not just a day ♪ ♪ but every year ♪ ♪ you were made to be a focus ♪ ♪ in my mind ♪ ♪ oh, but if you don't want ♪ ♪ my love ♪ ♪ and if you want ♪ ♪ somethin' more ♪ ♪ said if you never wanted ♪ ♪ my love ♪ ♪ let me know, oh ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ you're not bound by a vow ♪ ♪ could be tomorrow ♪ ♪ or even now ♪ ♪ if you want another scope ♪ ♪ to look inside ♪ ♪ i'll be the person ♪ ♪ of your dreams ♪ ♪ or your lover in-between ♪ ♪ every corner in the canyons ♪ ♪ of your mind ♪ ♪ oh, but if you don't want ♪ ♪ my love ♪ ♪ and if you want ♪ ♪ somethin' more, baby, baby ♪ ♪ said if you never wanted ♪ ♪ my love ♪ ♪ let me know, let me know ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ do you want my love ♪ ♪ do you want my love ♪ ♪ tell me ♪ ♪ do you want my love ♪ ♪ love, love, love ♪ ♪ do you want my love ♪ ♪ oh! ♪ ♪ oh, but if you don't want ♪ ♪ my love ♪ ♪ and if you want ♪ ♪ somethin' more ♪ ♪ if you never wanted ♪ ♪ my love ♪ ♪ and if you don't want ♪ ♪ my love ♪ hey! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]