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>> congratulations to the chief than the eagle, who have earned their spot in the super bowl to live for the lombardi trophy but regardless of who wins, both teams got one of these trophies that commemorate the fact they made the final duo. in that spirit, zales presents that you are in my top two necklace. give it to the leading ladies in your life. it is the perfect way to say to those special someone, you are one of a couple options i have. take the time to acknowledge even though you may not ultimately choose her, she is still pretty good. pick up the you are in my top two necklace today. because diamonds are forever, but one of you is not. annie ko it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, what in the dust? plus, stephen welcomes deion sanders, and musical guest came

brown, with a special appearance by john lithgow. featuring louis cato and the late show band. live from the ed sullivan theater, it is stephen colbert. they went to thank you, welcome. welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world. you are joining us on an historic night, following the incredible afc championship game. afc championship, of course, often called the super bowl of finding out who will be in the super bowl.

this is a rare sunday show. so, naturally, i and my staff, this morning, we all went to church together. cbs is a family. a family that occasionally cancels its children, and replaces them with a spinoff of one of their more successful children. but just because tonight's game is over two hours ago, doesn't mean you have to stop gambling. there are plenty of parlays available here at the late show. hot tip: take the over on whether or not i have the greatest audience in the world! [cheers and applause] get a little shot of that. that cheer just lost some kid their college savings. another reason to cheer: we survived the first week of the

second trump administration. [boos] imagine how good we'll feel when we survive the first week of the third trump administration. trump has been signing a lot of executive orders this week, and thursday, he had a real humdinger. because he signed an order declassifying files on the jfk, rfk and mlk assassinations. this will be the biggest release of presidential secrets since we found out what the 'b' stands for in lyndon b. johnson. "bananas." the order doesn't specify a release date for these files, but once they come out, we're finally gonna get clear answers on the jfk assassination, a tragic event that spawned decades of conspiracy theories. but once we read the files, occam's razor tells us the true answer will be the simplest one: the cia worked with fidel

castro, the mafia, and the dallas police to train russian dolphins to swim from the gulf of mexico up through the sewers onto the grassy knoll, where, at the last second, their teeny, flipper-mounted missile launchers were jammed by radio interference from a nearby station playing the crystals' "da doo ron ron," while at the exact moment, jfk died chocking on one of those tiny silica gel packets that say "do not eat." zapruder was in on it. and who benefited? lyndon "bananas" johnson. ladies and gentlemen. remember the first rule of conspiracies. follow the monkey. turns out, trump isn't the first president to release info on jfk's assassination. biden also declassified some documents, though many remained redacted. for example, this one, which reads: "president kennedy -redacted- room full of pan-am stewardess trainees -redacted- baby pool of strawberry jam."

we'll never know. one of the reasons that they have kept these files secret for so long is that intelligence agencies say the threat to national security outweighs public interest. yes, we can't afford to have our 60 year old secrets fall into soviet hands. "sir, look at this! apparently the americans are close to developing something called 'fax machine.' it will allow us to send borscht recipe with push of button!" if trump's executive orders are upsetting you, you're not alone. he's pissing off people on a global scale. thursday, he zoomed in to the world economic forum in davos switzerland. you know their slogan, you're too poor to hear our slogan. in a rambling address, the president, among other things, blasted european regulation and

trade policies, while also renewing his promise for across-the-board tariffs. the only way to make europeans angrier would've been to publicly shame the singing career of david hasselhoff. "nein! don't hassel za hoff!" didn't know i spoke german, did you? trump once again threatened our neighbors to the north with harris. -- with tariffs. >> you can always become a st state. >> stephen: "join us, you syrup-sucking freaks. you moose-fondling ice-holes. you'll need a new name. you're right above minnesota, we'll call you maxi-sota." [applause] trump also had a long ramble

about how not winning the 2020 election was a good thing for him personally. >> through a stroke of luck or whatever you might call it, i am going to be present during the world cup and the olympics and the 250th anniversary. >> stephen: "i'm also going to be in office for 'wicked 2.' no spoilers! i hope that witch alphabet wins the quidditch game. the wizard only offered her that job because of green d.e.i. which is why she became wicked, and chose to defy gravity, which was bad news for all the people of narnia. but i wouldn't kick that white queen outta bed for eating turkish delight, if you know what i mean. there's no place like home." trump also caught heat earlier in the week for his threats to non-consensually acquire greenland. this past week, at a press conference in the capital city of nook -- great place to have breakfast, by the way -- their prime minister said unequivocally, "we do not want to be americans."

i get it. we're not perfect. we've got some income inequality, we've got gun violence, bad healthcare. but! we also have something called the pop tarts bowl, where an anthropomorphized pop tart gets toasted to death for our amusement. thank you for your snackrifice. [applause] after his speech, a reporter asked greenland's prime minister if greenland had conveyed the message that it is "not up for grabs" directly to trump. you shouldn't have to convey that! it's 2025. there aren't any places still "up for grabs." "uh, hey, is this anybody's peru? really? it's peru's peru? then why's it called 'my'chu picchu?" at the same time, in a meeting of the european parliament, a

danish official pushed back on the president a little more directly. >> dear trump, listen very carefully. greenland has been part of the danish kingdom for 800 years. it is an integrated part of our country, it is not for sale. let me put it in word you might understand, mr. trump. [bleep] off. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: oh damn, you just got skeüled! how's that taste? i'm guessing salty licorice. one of the first executive orders trump signed this week was one officially creating elon musk's brainchild: the department of government efficiency or "doggy." i trust i'm mispronouncing that correctly.

and it looks like elon's found his first target for trimming federal spending: the u.s. penny. lose the penny?! this is the worst thing that's ever happened to abraham lincoln. but musk's logic is hard to argue. "the penny costs over 3 cents to make and cost u.s. taxpayers over $179 million in fiscal year 2023," and "the mint produced over 4.5 billion pennies in fiscal year 2023, around 40% of the 11.4 billion coins for circulation produced." it's true. the mint has to keep making pennies because nobody uses them. if you get them in your change, you just put 'em in the giant wine jug you keep by the fireplace. until one day, it is buried with you like a low-rent pharaoh. so, i'm torn here. on the one hand, the penny is obviously an outdated, waste of money whose time is past. on the other, i like it. to decide what to do, let's flip a coin. specifically, a penny.

heads, we ditch the penny. tails, we keep the penny. here goes. it's not worth picking up. [laughter] [cheers and applause] of course, now that the afc championship is behind us, we're on the countdown to the super bowl... ads. and we're already getting some teasers. for instance, this week, we saw this one of drew barrymore and orlando bloom in a commercial for a cruise ship company. no offense to orlando bloom, but if i wanted to be on a boat with a guy who knows way too much about legolas, i'd go fishing alone. we're also getting a preview of an ad for taco bell featuring doja cat and the new "live mas drive thru cams" that take people's photos after they order taco bell. great idea. 'cuz everybody's first thought

after grabbin' their 1:00 a.m. hot bag of wet beans is, "i wish my loved ones could see this." and if you love those celebrity super bowl ads but don't wanna wait two weeks, you're in luck. because tonight, "the late show" is proud to present the exclusive debut of this new star-studded commercial. jim? >> i am john lithgow. if i know one thing, it is how to imbue characters with the kind of depth that suggests a rich inner life. if i know another thing, it is that you cannot drive hard to the hoop and a pair of clown basketball shoes. you need air lift goes. you will be making suckers cry more than terms of endearment.

no other shoe features text forced seals and souls featuring my work in the range of comedy and drama. when i played churchill on the crown, i held nothing back, like you will hold nothing back when you get on court wearing their - wearing air lithgow's. rock, meet rim. >> we have a great show for you tonight. my guess is deion sanders. when we come back, meanwhile. join us, won't you? ♪ ♪

♪ are you having any fun? ♪ ♪ what you getting out of living? ♪ ♪ who cares for what you've got ♪ ♪ if you're not having any fun? ♪ ♪ are you having any laughs? ♪ ♪ are you getting any loving? ♪ ♪ if other people do, why can't you? ♪ ♪ have a little fun ♪ ♪ and have ♪

♪ have a little fun ♪ i'm not happy with the way that pg&e handled the wildfires. yeah. yeah. i totally, totally understand. we're adding a ton of sensors. as soon as something comes in contact with the power line, it'll turn off so that there's not a risk that it's gonna fall to the ground and start a fire. okay. and i want you to be able to feel the improvements. we've been able to reduce wildfire risk from our equipment by over 90%. that's something i want to believe. [skateboard sounds] ♪ ♪ ste>> stephen: we have deion sas

here in just a moment. i don't want to brag but we have the greatest band here. one of our band members have a great new album. our keyboard player has a new album out, the blessed leap into eternity. it is available now. congratulations. you can stream it wherever you listen to music. i listened in the shower. there you go. congratulations, my friend. if you watch the show, you

folks, i spend most of my time, right over there in the southern portuuese news forest, harvesting the finest most topical story eucalyptus, and chestnut lumber which i frame into a series of plat-banded terraces and whitewashed walls with a scissor roof and an intricate dovecote chimney with moorish influences to build for you the stately yet charming algar-vian casa vivenda that is my monologue. but sometimes, while trying to lose the dea's tracker dogs in the pine barrens, i strap some rusty bike frames together with the tent lines from an abandoned circus and slather on a layer of sunbaked raccoon poop to hide inside the outlaw's turd yurt of news that is my segment: "meanwhile." that is the real champion right there. meanwhile. velveeta has made nacho cheese you can stick in your pocket, saying now it's "easier than ever for fans to elevate any food item." 'cuz nothing says "elevated" like squirtable cheese you heat

up with your ass cheek. [applause] meanwhile, in flower news, scientists have discovered that an orchid uses a finger-like appendage to pollinate itself. hey, as long as it locks the door and remembers to clear its browser history, i don't wanna know. up until recently, it was unclear what that part of the flower was for and to investigate the appendage's purpose, researchers observed the flower out in the wild. apparently being a botanist can get lonely. "welcome to the field team. now grab a pair of binoculars and let's watch these flowers rub one out." [laughter]

these jokes on a sunday? doesn't seem right. of course, those are professionals. for you, the layman, to see a video of a plant self-pollinating, you'll have to subscribe to its only-ferns. meanwhile, a plant named after martha stewart is now available for purchase and garden enthusiasts are delighted that "now you can have martha stewart in your garden." by the way, "martha stewart in your garden," also a channel on only-ferns. meanwhile, in somewhat-good-news for our clogged sewers, "scientists are turning 'fatbergs' made of used condoms and grease into perfume." the scent is called "chanel number feuughhh." meanwhile, post malone has unveiled a collaboration with oreo. mr. malone raves "this new

collaboration, is going to -- your life up, in the best way." now that's a man who understands what people want in a cookie: chaos! this snickerdoodle is gonna break all your furniture and sleep with your wife! the cookie is a complex construction, described as a twisted creme in which salted caramel and shortbread flavor are twisted between one chocolate oreo cookie and one golden oreo cookie. fine, let's have a go. there it is. here we go. i am going in, folks. hmm. this is much like post malone's face: sweet, but there's a lot competing for my attention. [laughter] i might save the rest of that

for post ma-show. meanwhile, in airline news, jetblue is now accepting venmo. while spirit will continue to accept their preferred method of payment: human teeth. meanwhile, in stoned rodent news, down in texas, drug-eating rats invaded a houston police evidence room, potentially disrupting hundreds of cases. i believe we have surveillance footage of the rats in the evidence room. >> i smell weed. >> stephen: police have charged a woman with trafficking meth in a bag labelled "definitely not a bag full of drugs." this is the most obvious drug smuggling paraphernalia since

those sweatpants that read "i for sure don't have a balloon full of cocaine up my juicy butt." meanwhile, a cat mistakenly left on a plane made three trips between new zealand and australia in 24 hours, after which the owner said: "how can this happen? how can this happen? oh my god." which, coincidentally, is also the official slogan for the new post malone oreos. we'll be right back with deion sanders. ♪ ♪ with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis my skin was no longer mine. my active psoriatic arthritis joint symptoms held me back. don't let symptoms define you... emerge as you, with clearer skin. with tremfya®, most people saw 100% clear skin... ...that stayed clear, even at 5 years. tremfya® is proven to significantly reduce joint pain, stiffness, and swelling. serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. before treatment, your doctor should check you

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♪ ♪ stephen says my guest tonight is a super bowl champion who has taken the college football world by storm. his theories has just returned for a third season. please welcome deion sanders. [cheers and applause]

>> wow. ste >> welcome to the show. >> this is awesome. >> i've been watching you for a minute. i wish you were comfortable in the spotlight. you are a prime time. >> there you go. let's look at the beginning. let's look at the beginning of prime time. this is the prime time i remember. there you go. is that a look? >> that is a look. >> stephen: do you rock that every so often?

now, it is coach prime. right there. >> it is like a maturation, a little growth. >> tell me about prime time. how did that come out? financials for everyone in the national football league and i found out my position was one of the lowest paid positions of the league and that was going into my junior year and i said no. i promised my mother she was going to be rich and she would never have to work another day in her life. i created this image in my dormitory room called prime time. that was my nickname coming out of high school for baseball, football, and basketball. now i had to emulate things that were detached from me and i did it. i did it with no social media. i did it. >> stephen: the old-fashioned way.

you built it. what was the process? >> i would be in my dorm and i would write quotes. i knew i had the goods. how do you feel on that punt return? i'm the best thing since peanut butter and jelly. you should have fired up the band you already knew what i was going to do. i am the best thing since peanut butter and jelly. it was a lot of stuff like that and then you look good, you feel good, you play good. all of that came back in college. >> a truly self-made man. >> it was a choreographed effort to make sure my mother never had to work another day in her life. ever since 1989, my mother never had to work another day in her life and she would have you think i live with her, but she lives with me.

>> stephen: in 2020 you became head coach of jackson state university. two years later you move to the university of colorado and you reenergized college football. deion sanders brings prime time to colorado and makes fulsome field the epicenter of college football. first of all, why coach in the first place? do you have other hobbies? >> i was retired. now i am just a dad sitting at home. i am taking my 7-year-old to football practice and i wasn't going to the two different practices, so my 5-year-old, we lied and said he was sick so we could have them on the same team. i'm watching them collide and i said to coach, you can't do t

this. i was still prime. he had no choice. i get up and they do something stupid so i get up again. next thing you know, i am running the whole practice and i thought if i am going to do this, i am going to do it my way. i called some of my friends who were retired and i said let's start this youth football league. we had 1200 kids tried out and the rest was history. ages five to 14 and we just started this unbelievable youth program with football, baseball, basketball, track, cheer. i was coach prime before you knew i was coach prime well over a decade. >> you also coached your two boys. they play their final season. there they are. i love this photo. this is you walking on the field with them. at the beginning of the last game. >> that is a tearjerker. that is hard.

it brings back so many thoughts because now i am thinking about when we first started, when i was coaching them and youth and they would lay their uniforms out in the closet because they were excited and could not wait to put them on and i am a coach and we go from there at five and seven years old to all the way to they are young adults getting ready to go into the nfl. it has been a tremendous journey but i am thankful i had the opportunity to be there every moment and every minute of my son's careers. >> stephen: they are about to enter the nfl draft. something you went through, i am sure they are excited, nervous at the same time. what was that like for you? what do you remember about your draft? >> we weren't going to be broke. that was it. my mother would not have to work another day in her life and life would never be the same. that is what i remember. but i wanted to be the greatest.

it wasn't about the money. it was about being the greatest and being dominant. when you are the greatest and you are dominant and you perfect the craft, the money is going to find you and you don't have to change the money. when you perfect your craft. >> you are supposed to clap right there. i am just keeping you up. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: i will talk to these people. i am so sorry. we rehearsed. what is the process of the daylight? do you do anything or do you passively sit back? is there any prep you have to do? >> no. you just wait for the ship to come in. >> are the universities talking to you? >> all the way to the draft they are going to say you are garbage, you are the worst thing, because they want you to

fall into their laps. they are going to assault you because they want you to come, so don't believe this stuff, don't go back and forth. just relax and let it ride, because it is going to be all right. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break but we will be back with more deion sanders. ♪ ♪ no more gross cough syrup. we all want you to feel better. i want extra tv time or i'll walk! how about this? introducing the only kids soft-chew for medicated cough relief. aaaaghhh! new mucinex children's mighty chews are mighty clever. the thompsons' new front door looks sharp, right? did we need to wave her down to tell her that? no. no. for a young homeowner turning into their parents, the neighborhood is their life. wonder who's visiting the burkes. that's not their car. hey, guys. who's winning? [ giggles ] now most of the neighborhood uses progressive -for their cars and house. -okay. she didn't ask. ohhhh! [ sighs ]

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♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. we are back. the star of the documentary series coach prime, deion sanders. there are a lot of fans from colorado. everybody is paying attention to these games and a lot of fans who are celebrities but there is no bigger one than miss peggy. for those of you unfamiliar with her, who is she and how did she make it into this press conference with you? >> miss peggy is 100 years old. she is awesome. she is unbelievable, separate generations, but she has embraced me, loved me, guided me, supported me in every facet. our goal was not to do this and that the season. we have to get her to a bowl game and that is what we did.

we achieved that. [applause] she is so awesome. i love her life. she remembers everything. she does not forget one thing. >> stephen: does she give you any advice? >> she says win. >> keep it simple. the new season of your docuseries just came out. we have a clip. what do we need to see here? >> the kids were invited to paris to a fashion show. >> stephen: it has been called the vegas of france. >> they went overseas to do that and it was funny because shiloh and then were going back and forth. this is something, they called

me from over there because shiloh didn't like how his brother was dressed. he thought he was changing. >> that is a first. that is how i know you don't know fashion. >> i could swing on you now and it is not going to hurt you. >> let's call dad and see what he would say. >> your dad used to wear the same stuff back in the day. he used to wear short shorts. >> you are about to be so disappointed. >> yes, good old dad. dad, he is losing himself. >> oh my god. >> dad, he is losing himself. >> i just have a puffer coat on. >> he is for real about this what he is doing ain't what you think he is doing. he looks like somebody's rich auntie right now.

[laughter and applause] >> the documentary is awesome. you get to see my kids personality, other kids on the team, but you get to see who&-úo about our business elevating these kids. it is tremendous. >> stephen: we have to take another break but we will be right back with deion sanders. do not go away, everybody. some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking allstate first. duke versus unc. what a storied rivalry? like you know to check your outfit first before meeting your girlfriend's family. that's a tough one to recover from steve. the disappointment on their faces says it all. uh-uh. yeah, checking first is smart. yeah. so check allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. you're in good hands with allstate.

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>> stephen: we are back here with deion sanders. the super bowl is coming up. i have never played in the super bowl. what does it feel like? >> for real? >> stephen: not yet. what does it feel like to be out there? >> it is awesome. it is like you are riding to the game and you are seeing stuff you never thought existed because you are like i didn't know they do that at super bowl's and then you say all of these people are coming to see us play and i get to put on a show in front of america, you have to be kidding me. that is the feeling you have driving and riding to the

stadium, knowing you are getting ready to play. you are not worried, overe overexcited, you are rock steady. you want to be calm because you are getting an opportunity to do what you have been blessed to do in front of everybody. >> stephen: you are the only person to play in a super bowl and world series. what is the difference of those feelings? [applause] >> that means i was pretty good, right? let's get that straight. the differences, the super bowl i get one shot. the world series, i get to do it again. the super bowl, you get one shot at it so you have to make it right. >> in the season, you are playing how many games? >> 60. why are you saying that like it was a long, long time ago? that is not right. >> stephen: my apologies.

>> that is not right. >> stephen: the halftime act was george gershwin for your super bowl, wasn't it? irving berlin? hold on. i need your help. we have people come over for the super bowl and i haven't watched as much football growing up as i maybe should have. when we are watching the game, i don't know what to say when there is a great player somebody messed up or something like that. can we pretend for a second we are watching the game and there is a great play and you just tell me what i should say. >> you have to let me know your crowd. who are your friends? >> mostly my friends and neighbors. >> white friends, black prince? >> stephen: they are white. possibly two black people there. [laughter]

>> oh, lord. because there are only ten total in this scenario. 20%. >> i like it. >> you are going to get me in trouble. there are also a 13 latinos. >> beco if it is a great play, u would be like yes! >> stephen: what if that were at your party?

>> a'ight. give me some hands. >> stephen: coach prime is on prime video. we will be right back.

i guess what i'm looking for from you is, i mean, i know how the fire affected me, and there's always a constant fear that who's to say something like that won't happen again? that's fair. we committed to underground, 10,000 miles of electric line. you look back at where we were 10 years ago and we are in a completely different place today, and it's because of how we need to care for our communities and our customers.

i hope that's true. [joe] that's my commitment. [ambient noise]

>> stephen: his album, "the high road," came out on friday. performing, "fiddle in the band," please welcome kane brown. ♪ ♪ ♪ woke up hurting in my shirt and ♪ ♪ jeans from the night before ♪ ♪ my phone and my ears were ♪ ♪ ringing ♪ ♪ 'cause we were downtown bouncing ♪ ♪ 'round from door to door ♪ ♪ there ain't a song i wasn't ♪ ♪ singing ♪ ♪ from the djs on the twos and ♪ ♪ fours ♪ ♪ to the honky-tonk on the ♪ ♪ hardwood floors ♪ ♪ i was out throwing down in the ♪ ♪ middle of the crowd ♪ ♪ when a boy in the band broke a ♪ ♪ bow out ♪ ♪ i'm just like you, i was

raised ♪ ♪ on the radio ♪ ♪ from memphis blues to a ♪ ♪ hollywood rock 'n' roll ♪ ♪ took a trip to music city ♪ ♪ brought a little bit of ♪ ♪ everything with me ♪ ♪ i'm a little bit of bass, 808s ♪ ♪ a little bit of clap your hands ♪ ♪ i'm a little bit of six strings ♪ ♪ on a backbeat with a fiddle in ♪ ♪ the band ♪ ♪ i'm like a burnt cd from '03 in ♪ ♪ a mustang ♪ ♪ you never knew what was coming ♪ ♪ so, i can't help but to be r&b ♪ ♪ with a touch of twang ♪ ♪ air guitars and dashboard ♪ ♪ drumming ♪ ♪ hey ♪ ♪ i'm just like you, i was raised ♪ ♪ on the radio ♪ ♪ from memphis blues to a ♪ ♪ hollywood rock 'n' roll ♪ ♪ took a trip to music city ♪ ♪ brought a little bit of ♪ ♪ everything with me ♪ ♪ i'm a little bit of bass, 808s ♪ ♪ a little bit of clap your hands ♪ ♪ i'm a little bit of six

strings ♪ ♪ on a backbeat with a fiddle in ♪ ♪ the band ♪ ♪ y'all hearing this? ♪ ♪ from the dj on the twos and ♪ ♪ fours ♪ ♪ to the honky-tonk on the ♪ ♪ hardwood floors ♪ ♪ from the first song to the ♪ ♪ encore ♪ ♪ i'm just like you, i was raised ♪ ♪ on the radio ♪ ♪ from memphis blues to a ♪ ♪ hollywood rock 'n' roll ♪ ♪ took a trip to music city ♪ ♪ brought a little bit of ♪ ♪ everything with me ♪ ♪ i'm a little bit of bass, 808s ♪ ♪ a little bit of clap your hands ♪ ♪ i'm a little bit of six strings ♪ ♪ on a backbeat with a fiddle in ♪ ♪ the band ♪ ♪ with a fiddle in the band ♪

>> tha y.