well, let's just say it was a real butt kicker. you asked for it, now here it is, the best of hee haw from time life. now on dvd! >> hee hee hee haw haw hee hee hee >> for the next 30 minutes hold on to your teeth as host roy clark brings you nonstop pickin', grinnin', and entertainin'. >> hee haw! >> plus, your heart will hum to the tunes of the greatest country stars ever. from johnny cash to loretta lynn. merle haggard to conway twitty. tammy wynette to george jones. >> hee haw >> summer, winter, fall, and spring >> we do our singin' and jokin' thing >> here it is! >> you never could see the new styles they're wearin' like womenfolks walkin' out around in men's pants and you couldn't see grown men wearin' rompers instead of uncles

>> where, oh where are you tonight why did you leave me here all alone i searched the world over and i thought i found true love you met another and pllt, you were gone >> he's got a good pllt ain't he? >> hey, friends, this is roy clark, and i'm honored that the good folks at time life have asked me to share, with you, the greatest episodes of hee haw. you know, from 1969 to 1997, hee haw was a weekly eventnt in america's households. we did nearly 600 one-hour shows from nashville, tennese. and the clips that you'll see on this show are from the original masters. they've been restored and are now available

>> hey, junior, you oughta see the girl i'm lookin' at. >> what ishe like? >> oh, she's tall and blonde and willowy and ain't hardly got much clothes on either. >> oh, i sure wish i was facin' that way. >> i crossed a puzzle with a riddle. >> what'd you get? >> confused. >> laverne! >> what? >t says here in the paper that they found a woman's skull over 2,000 years old. >> yeah? >> now how do you think that they would known it was a woman's skull? >> probably 'cause it had

>> howdy! >> minnie pearl, grandpa jones, junior samples, archie campbell, lulu roman, george lindsey, buck owens, and the whole hee w gang. r cast was full of so much talent, when we'd get together to tape our shows, it was one big party, and it showed. >> as we look in on the culhanes this time, they have just completed their correspondence course in tap dancing and they are practicing. tune in next time when we'll hear grandpa say: >> fred astaire called and said "shut up." >> if somebody put a match to me i'd be the hottest thing in this show.

you mean to tell me you gonna marry an 18-year-old girl? do you realize that could be fatal? >> well, if she dies, she dies. >> now it's time for buck and roy and pickin' and grinnin'. >> i'm a pickin'! >> and i'm a grinnin'! buck owens, one of country's greatest legendary performers, actually recommended to the producers that i be his co-host. and for that, i will forever be grateful. we sure made a great team. >> you know, i'd sure like to talk to that burglar that broke into my house last night. >> what for? >> i'd like to find out the secret to gettin' in the house without wang up my wife! >> buck, is it true that your wife is money mad? >> yup, i won't give her any money and it drives her mad. can you tell me how to teach

>> can i. well, first you put one arm around her waist and then you put your other arm around her shoulder and then you sorta hold her close-- >> uh, well, uh, roy, it's my sister i've got to teach. my sister. >> well, in that case, you just throw her in the pond, she'll learn on her own. boy, if you want me to go to work for you, you better put me on the payroll right now, because there's several companies after me. >> oh, what companies are they? >> well, there's the electric light company, the telephone company, and the milk company. yeah. >> i hear that your daughter is goin' to marry an x-ray doctor. >> yeah. seems that he's the only one who can see anything in her. >> you know, roy, my fans tell me that our pickin' and grinnin' spot is a show stopper. >> well, i'll admit i don't know i iwe stop it, but we sure slow

let's sing. >> all right. goin' up t' cripple creek, goin' on the run goin' up t' cripple creek, to have a little fun goin' up t' cripple creek, goin' on a whirl goin' up t' cripple creek to see my girl >> yaw, yaw yaw, yaw we're pickin' wild mountain berries that's our excuse every time we been a-busy makin' merries and pickin' wild mountain berries >> boy, those were sure fun times. now comin' up, you're going to see classic performances by some of the hundreds of guest stars who performemeon hee haw. but firs here's h you can bring laughter into your home

>> howdy! >> it was a simpler time. they made us laugh. >> old junior went up to the man at the salvation army and he said, "do you save bad girls?" and the man saidid"yes, we do." and junior said, "save me one for saturday night." >> they made us feel good. >> some folks will do anything to get a laugh. >> it's the very best of hee haw, america's longest running comedy variety show. available now for the very first time in one great collection on dvd from time life. imagine collecting all the great hee haw jokes, the best sketches, and the most outrageous moments. >> (rapid eefing) >> here's charley pride. >> kaw-liga >> plus, in this collection, you'll get

by country music's greatest stars. >> you picked a fine time to leave me, lucille with four hungry children and a crop in the field >> these shows are now available on dvd. and they've been digitally remastered for magnificent picture and sound. >> hey, clem? you know what anatomy is? >> well, anatomy's something everybody's got but it looks better on the women. >> get the entire hee haw collection on dvd for just five easy payments of $19.99 each when you order now. >> if you wanna be sure crime doesn't pay, let the government run it. >> but that's not all. call now and get a free bonus dvd of the very first hee haw program. and it's not just any show, it's the actual premiere of hee haw as it was first shown in 1969. a real collector's item. and it's yours

the hee haw collection. >> that settles it, i'm going. >> where are you goin'? >> home to mother. >> well, then wait for me, i'd like to have a good meal for a change. >> still not enough? we'll even throw in another dvd, "hee haw laffs," featuring all the greatest comimimoments from the early yearsrs of hee haw. that's two bonus dvd when you call now! and you call in the next 18 minutes, we'll ship it for free! that's a savings of nearly $12. >> hey, grandpa. it took you all morning to haul that city slicker's car into town with the mule. how much did he pay you? >> fifty cents. >> boy, sometimes i wish you would do the work and let the mule handle the business end of things. >> at's eight dvds featating 11 of the best hee haw shows including 100 rare musical performances. and if you don't absolutely love the collection, time life will refund the full purchase price, no questions asked. there's no club to join, and your satisfaction

>> you know, i saw a talking parrot yesterday. >> what happened? >> i walked up, i said, "can you talk, stupid?" and he said, "yeah, can you fly, dummy?" >> remember, this collection is not sold in any store, so call now and get the hee haw collection, plus the two bonus dvds and free shipping. but you must act now. bring home the laughter and the memories. call now. >> you met another and pllt, you was gone >> turn that old thing off! you give that radio more attention than you do me! >> because i get less interference fromhe radio. >> it's about time, laverne, that i ge you a piece of my mind! >> just a small helping, please. >> hee haw was sort of weekly therapy for a whole lot of folks.

we served up plenty of it. >> i'm gonna marry a doctor so i can stay well for nothin'. >> i'm gonna marry a grocer man so i can eat for nothin'. >> i'm gonna marry me a preacher man so i can be good for nothin'. >> when a man gets old enough to read a woman like a book, he's too old to start a library. >> now, that's indeed a triumph of mind over matter. >> yeah, i didn't mind 'cause you didn't matter. >> hey, johnny, what position is it you play? >> uh, i'm a catcher, gunilla. >> oh, well, i thought maybe you were a quarterback from all the passes you were making at the square dance last night. >> minnie, is it right to marry a man for his money? >> well, maybe not, but sometimes that's the only way you can get it.t.

is your marriage a happy one? >> yup, we've been married several years and we've never had a fight in our house. >> hey, that's wonderful. >> yeah, we always go out in the yard. >> see there? who says show business ain't educational? >> i saw a picture of you painted by archie and you had no clothes on. did you pose for that? >> i did not! he must have done it from memory. >> you know, some folks say it's bad luck to postpone a marriage. >> yeah, but... if you postpone it long enough it's not. >> i love a person who just comes right out and says what they think. as long as they agree with me. >> two men are in love with me, murray and george, and i don't know who will be the lucky one. >> murray will marry you and george will be the lucky one. >> i don't care what you say, kenny price, behi every successful man

>> uh huh, complaining that she ain't got a thing to wear. >> appearing on hee haw was an absolute must for every top recording artist. the biggest stars loved doing our show. and overerhe years, we had hundreds of guest stars, and in this incredible dvd collection alone you're gonna get over 100 great performances. >> here's conway twitty. >> hello there nice to see you it's been a long time you're just as lovely as you used to be >> tammy w wette. >> stand by your man and show the world you love him >> merle haggard. >> i'm proud to be an okie

a place where even squares can have a ball >> faron young. >> wind me up turn n on, and watctcme cry for you >> loretta lynn. >> well, you're leavin' me at home to keep the tipi clean a-six papooses to break and wean well, your squaw is on the warpath tonight >> waylon jennings. >> she's a good hearted woman in love with a good timin' man and she loves him in spite of his ways that she don't understand >> now here is johnny cash. >> good morning, america, how are you say, don't you know me, i'm your native son >> when did you start watching hee haw? were you still wet

graduating from high school? or, maybe you were married to your first wife. well, eaea week, whwh our show hit the airwaves, tens of millions of people tuned in to see the big hair, big names, and the outrageous comedy. and the ratings were dynamite. so if you want to bring laughter into your home, and if you want to relive the memories of the '60s and '70s, including incredible performances by the artists who made country music the sound of america, well, then s sck around. have we got a dvd d llection just for you. i guarantee it'll tickle your pickle. >> we interrupt this program to bring you an important pronouncement.

>> it was a simpler time. they made us laugh. >> i don't care what you say, junior, not all married people are unhappy. >> of course not, just the men. >> they made us feel good. >> "tell me what you think about red china. signed, your fan." >> well, dear fan, red china? i think it's just fine as long as it doesn't clash with the tablecloth. >> it's the very best of hee haw, america's longest running comedy variety show. available now for the very first time in one grere collection on dvd from the good folks at time life. imagine collecti l the great hee haw jokes, the best sketches, and the most outrageous moments. >> when you serve gusto goulash, it'll only go around once. >> here's hank williams jr. >> way down yonder in the bayou country in dear old louisiana that's where lives--

exclusive bonus features plus y'll get over 100 rare performaes by country music's greatest stars. >> funny face, i love you funny face, i need you >> these shows are now available on dvd. and they've been digitally remastered for magnificent picture and sound. >> hey, gordie, what do you mean "wives are just like fishermen"? >> well, lisa, they always are bragging about the ones that got away and complaining about the one they caught. >> yeah. >> get the entire hee haw collection on dvd for just five easy payments of $19.99 when you order now. >> you know, they say he's 94, never looked at a girl in his life, never smoked, took a drink, or gambled. >> beats me why he wanted to live so long. >> but that's not all. call now and get a free bonus dvd of the very first hee haw

and itit not just any show, it's the actual premiere of hee haw as it was first shown in 1969. a real collector's item. and it's yours when you calnow and order the hee haw collection. >> grandpa didn't believe in flying saucers until he tripped a waitress. >> still not enough? we'll even throw in another dvd, "hee haw laffs," featuring all the greatest comic moments from the early years of hee haw. that's two bonus dvds when you call now! and if you call in the next 10 minutes, wewel ship it for free!! that's a s sings nearly $12. >> hey, johnny, i hear you play the trombone. >> yeah, but lately i've been lettin' it slide. >> that's eight dvds featuring 11 of the best hee haw shows including 100 rare musical performances. and if you don't absolutely love the collection, time life will refund the full purchase price, no questions asked. there's no club to join, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> rocky top

home sweet home to me good old rocky top >> remember, this collection is not sold in any store, so call now and get the hee haw collection, plus the two bonus dvds and free shipping. but you must act now. bring home the laughter and the memories. call now. >> i say, i say, my fellow americans, i am here to answer your queststns. so, fire away. >> senator, what about your brother who was trying so hard to get a government job? what's he doing now? >> nothing! he got the job. >> senator, my oldest boy wants a job in your office. >> and what can he do, sir? >> nothing. >> fine, i won't have to break him in. >> contagious, that's what it was, contagious! great comedy, great music, great fun,

>> hee haw one, a two, a three. i wished i was in arkansas, sittin' on a rail sweet potato in my hand, a possum by the tail >> gordie sure was relieved to hear what the doctor said. >> about something his wife had had since before they was wed. >> on her neck was this ugly growth and the doctor said he couldn't take it off. >> but he said not to worry none, though, it's just her head. >> gloom, despair, and agony on me deep, dark depression excessive misery if it weren't bad luck, i'd have no luck at all gloom, despair, and agony on me >> the german shepherd

>> yes, sir, roy, i guarantee you that if you take one of my smart pills you'll be smarter. they're a dollar apiece. >> well, that's a lot of money for a pill, doc, i hope they're worth it. >> they are worth it, i guarantee 'em. >> well, that's funny, i don't feel any smarter. >> well, maybe you need another one, they're just a dollar apiece. try one more there. >> well, okay. wait a minute, doc, these pills ain't nothin' but little green peas. >> see there? gettin' smarter already! >> you don't have to hang from a tree to be a nut. >> (rapid eefing) >> (rapid eefing) >> salute! >> yes, it's been over 35 years since hee haw premiered on tv. many of our original cast members have left

and gone home to the great stage in the sky. but now through the magic of time life, hee haw lives on in this one of a kind collector's dvd. thesesare the original masters, the favorite episodes, packed with memories that'll make you feel good just to watch tv again. and i hope life will treat you kind. and i hope that you have all that you ever dreamed of. and i will always love you i

love you i will always love you thank you. >> well, that dolly looks even better today than she did some 30 years ago. and the jokes, sketcs, and musical performances are just as great today as they were when we first recorded them. i personally want you to have this hee haw collection. but time is running out, so call now. >> here's one for all you shut-ins out at the state prison. >> it was a simpler time. >> half past. >> they made us lauau. they made us feel good. >> why is a fence

>> i don't know, why? >> they both protect the property, but they don't spoil the view. >> it's the very best of hee haw, america's longest running comedy variety show. "what'd he say?" available now for the very first time in one great collection on dvd from time life. imagine collecting all the great hee haw jokes, the best sketches, and the most outrageous moments. >> oh, no, get! get. get out. >> here's george jones. >> searchin' for the place where he made his brew they were lookin', tryin' to book him but my pappy kept a-cookin' shh, white lightnin' >> plus, in this collection, you'll get over 100 rare performances by country music's greatest stars. >> i take it on home to the woman who sticks by me >> these shows are now available on dvd. and they've been diditally remastered

and sound. >> you know w at a bonehead is? a bonehead is someone who is "marrow-minded." get it? >> get the entire hee haw collection on dvd for just five easy payments of $19.99 each when you order now. >> my boyfriend and i once agreed that it would be helpful if we told each other all our faults. >> how'd it work? >> we haven't spoken to each other in three weeks. >> but that's not all. a free bonus dvd of the very first hee haw program. and it's not just any show, it's the actual premiere of hee haw as i iwas first shown in 1969. a real collector's item. and it's yours when you call now d order the hee haw collection. >> hey, johnny, did ya hear the story about the broken pencil? >> yeah, there's no point to it. >> still not enough? we'll even throw in another dvd, "hee haw laffs," featuring all the greatest comic moments from the early years of hee haw.

when you call now! and if you call in the next two minutes, we'll ship it for free! that's a savings of nearly $12. >> whado you call a man who don't believe in birth control? >> a daddy. >> that's eight dvds featuring 11 of the best hee haw shows including 100 rare musical performances. and if you don't absolutely love the collection, time life will refund the full purchase price, no questions asked. there's no club to join, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> well, i'm a long, tall texan i wear a ten gallon hat >> he come from texas with a ten gallon hat >> well, people look at me and say >> oh, oh, oh, is that your hatat >> take it from me, roy clark, this is a one of a kind collection that you'll enjoy for years to come. but you'd better call now. time is running out

of this special tv offer. so, call now and save. you met another and pllt, you was gone >> we love the time we spend with you to share a song and a laugh or two may your pleasures be many, your troubles be few >> so long, everybody! >> we'll see ya next week on-- >> hee haw! >> now's the time to call and order your hee haw collection from the good folks at time life and don't forget to order a second one for a friend. it'll put a smile on their face too! but time is running out to take advantage of this special l offer, so call now! >> that's all!

from time life's

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