>> charlie: welcome to the program. tonight, the missing airliner. we talk to bob orr of cbs news and david gallo a leading oceanographer about the scenarios for what happened to malaysian airlines flight 370. >> four days after the plane disappeared, we really don't know where it is and we don't know what happened to the plane. part of the problem is we have conflicting information and not very many facts to go with that. we haven't found the wreckage yet. obviously we don't have the plane's black boxes. we're working on the intel side. u.s. intelligence and intelligence agencies around the world have taken a look at the passenger manifest list, don't see any potential ties to terror. they listen to intel chatter and don't hear claims of responsibility. we have a missing plane and don't know if it crashed because of mechanical failure, some sabotage, maybe a bomb or a

combination of factors a. we don't know. >> charlie: we continue with robert wagner, talks about the golden age of hollywood in his new book called "you must remember this." >> i work with a lot of young people and they always ask me about what was it like? what was the golden era like and what was it like being in the contract system and all that. so i started to tell them. you know, i tell them, universal had 40 young people under contract and fox had 40 and columbia had 20, and every studio had a young contract player's list, and we were all anxious and eager to get into the movies and, you know, today, that's not possible. you know, that's not -- you know, you're a young actor today, you've got to go out and get an acting coach -- >> charlie: right. -- get a manager. >> charlie: we conclude this evening with jane fonda, who does everything well, including writing about teenagers. her new book is called "being a

teen." >> girls lose their true authenticity at puberty but they have a whole decade before then of, oh yeah,, who says? and wrestling and climbing trees and being feisty. that's why girls and women tend to be more agents of change because you don't have to scrape so deep to get them back to where they were. >> charlie: the missing airliner, robert wagner and jane fonda when we continue.

captioning sponsored by rose communications from our studios in new york city, this is charlie rose. >> charlie: the search continues for malaysian airlines boeing 777 that went missing saturday. at the time of this taping, there remains to clues about what happened to the plane or where it might be today. malaysian authorities announced after the plane stopped communicating with ground control it radically changed course. two iranian men on the flight were traveling on stolen

european passports that initially led to fears of terrorism. although the possibility has not been ruled out. interpol says unlikely. vessels and planes continue to search the seas. bob orr, justice and homeland security correspndent from cbs news and from boston, david martin, oceanographer who led the search for france air flight 447. what do we know about flight 370? >> four days after the plane disappeared, we don't know where it is or what happened to the plane. part of the problem is we have conflicting information and not many facts to go with that. we haven't found the wreckage. obviously we don't have the plane's black boxes. we're working on the intel side. u.s. and intelligence agencies around the world have looked at the passenger manifest list, don't see ties to terrorism. listened to chart, no claims of responsibility.

so we have a missing airplane and can't say whether or not it crashed because of mechanical failure or sabotage, maybe a bomb or a combination of factors. we simply don't know. >> charlie: it's unlikely, some people suggest, that it was a bomb because there was not a scattering of wreckage. >> yeah, we've seen in past crashes, pan am 103 from 1988, that plane was at altitude, a small bomb punched a hole in the cargo and the plane unzipped and spread debris over an 80-mile swath. here, we have all these ships and helicopters and planes scouring the gulf of thailand and the surrounding bodies of water and, four days in, we don't see one shred of debris. that tells me we are either looking completely in the wrong place or the plain did not -- the plane did not come apart at altitude and more than likely hit the water in tact. it's a big plane but a much bigger ocean. >> charlie: what do we make of the report the malaysian military announced the last time

the flight was seen, it was 100 miles off course and traveling in the opposite direction to its original destination? >> it doesn't make any sense. civilian controllers say they lost the plane at 35,000 feet in a straight line from kuala lumpur to beijing. the transponder on the plane, that's the device that tells the controllers how high you, are how fast the plane is, where it's going, precise location, the trance ponder apparently stopped sending messages and all communication was lost. the military says, after that happened, we see so-call primary echoes on military radar -- basically just blips you know about -- moving away from the scene, going 100 miles or more the wrong direction. maybe that was the plane. here's the thing, though, the military doesn't know exactly what the blips were. they may have been false echos. they're not sure, but they can't take any chances here, so they've expanded the search area and we're looking over a search area that's just huge. >> charlie: we talked about

this sunday on "face the nation," but the idea that you would assume a pilot would send out some kind of distress signal if there was a mechanical or other possibility here. >> and in a perfect world, he would. he would tell the controllers and hopefully his home dispatch what he's up against. but pilots fly by a very strict discipline, and that is you aviate, you navigate and then communicate. so if you're at 35,000 feet and you know you have a couple hundred people on the plane behind you and something happens, something breaks, a system fails, the first thing you want to do is get control of the situation and fly the airplane. you don't want to become fixated on the problem. it may not be as serious as you think and, even if it is as serious, you've got to fly the airplane first. once you have regained control or you've taken care of the problem the best you can, then it's advisable to get ahold of controllers and say, look, this is what happened. it's entirely possible, though

counterinto yocounterintuitive,r happened was so serious that they didn't have time to communicate it to control. >> charlie: dave, tell me your assessment, having looked, talked and made your own analysis. >> yeah, i thought air france flight 447 was going to be one of the most difficult cases but this is rapidly becoming one of the most mysterious searches of all time. this is tracking almost exactly like air france flight 447, a lot of false leads. but a one thing we had on air france flight 447 is we were fairly certain of the last known position. and there is some question whether the malaysian military really saw the plane and if you're not confident about that, boy, it's a long way from being solved. >> charlie: what makes sense to you, if anything? >> well, what doesn't make sense is that -- well, what makes sense is we're missing an

aircraft with 239 people on board. what doesn't make sense is where is it? how do you lose a plane? air france 447, remote area between south america and africa. this is in a highly-congested area. how do you lose an aircraft in that place? you hear earlier maybe it landed in tact, that's one way you can do it, but there's not a shred of evidence the plane ever landed on water. >> charlie: you must have looked at this and say, based on what i know, my best, most likely scenario is what? >> no. >> charlie: no? we're stumped. i talked to other do leaders of air france flight 447 this morning and we're all scratching our head and feel sorry for the command center taking in all the information. i'm sure they've had a lot of sleepless nights, the pressure is building and the criticism is growing. it's a hard place to be in

because people are wondering whether they know what they're doing. they need the confidence of the public. we don't have clues. normally you start with the last-known position and then try to figure out x marks the spot on the sea surface and usually you do that with the combination of the last-known position and whatever you find on the sea surface, but that's missing in this case, so all you have to go on now is the last known position from radar. >> charlie: so, bob, you sense the same thing, frustration, people saying, look, we've walked every trail, and they all end nowhere? >> absolutely right. i mean, i talk to veteran crash investigators now, charley charo say this is the most mystifying so far. we have flight 800 who blew up and figured out it was a fuel tank explosion. air france was a tough one in deep water in a remote area. but in this one, the facts that have been presented to us simply don't make sense and leads me to believe that either we don't

have all the correct facts -- perhaps the authorities are holding something back, i hope that's not true -- but we don't know everything that there is to know. and the only thing i can conclude, is four days in, the absence of any kind of debris, nothing floating, no seat cushion, no light piece of insulation. i think we must be just looking in the wrong spot. that's hard to reconcile with the last known position in the radar. but you have gaps in the radar coverage and it's possible the plane's tranc transponder may he failed and the plane may have continued in a dead zone. i think as the search expands we'll find it. i just don't know when, charlie. >> charlie: what is the latest on the passport investigations and what they're uncovering and the reports that we get that, so far, it does not lead to terrorism? but what are they finding out about the passengers and the pilots that they know about? >> well, there were two gentlemen on the plane who turned out to be iranians who

essentially paid for safe passage to europe. they flew from doha into malaysia on foreign passports. they used a middle man in iron to buy the tickets for the flight that left from kuala lumpur enroute to beijing and planning to go to europe. u.s. and international authorities are fairly confident they were seeking asylum and weren't terrorists and don't believe they have any role in the plane's disappearance. that said, there are still 200-plus other people on the plane and the crew. all the people, until clears, are suspects to a degree. so the intelligence agencies are going through the names and manifests looking for derogatory information. as far as i have been told, they haven't found anything so far that shows any kind of even suspect link. there was one group, an unheard of group, called the chinese martyr's brigade that took credit for taking the plane down but u.s. intelligence quickly

dismissed that as a likely hoax. >> charlie: dave, what will change because of this? whatever the end result is to this plane, what happened to this plane? >> you know, charlie, i was hoping after air france flight 447, this went on for two years for the families and loved ones of the passengers on air france 447, two years waiting for a resolution. you know, we've got to do better at tracking planes from the surface and better with the cockpit and data recorder, the black boxes, and being able to locate those because those are the only witnesses and if we want to solve it the surest way is to find those two things. two years passed. there's still not really a rapid response. we are really -- we just don't -- on a bigger scale, we don't take the oceans very seriously at all and we're hardly equipped to respond rapidly, especially if it's in

the sea. in thailand, the depth is 2 feet, but in the sea it's two miles. so that requires more to search. so we have to get more serious in exploring and searching in the oceans and a lot more serious in tracking the planes before they impact the ocean. >> charlie: who's directing the search, the malaysians? >> totally, this is a malaysian investigation, and that's kind of a sensitive point. the u.s. and the brits offered to send all kinds of help. we have ntsb and faa officials they're all standing by and in position. the malaysian authorities pretty much said we'll call you if we need you. i think there's a lot of expertise around the world with these crash labs and crash investigators who are willing to help, but they have to be asked in. >> charlie: bob orr, thank you so much. bob orr, justice and homeland

security correspndent for cbs news, my colleague there. davidave gallo, thank you as we. robert wagner is here. in the late 1940s, the up and comer had an inside view of that period in history. his book, "you must remember this," reflects that special time. glad to have robert wagner back at this table with his book. >> a pleasure. >> charlie: you're 84. yeah. >> charlie: you look fabulous! (laughter) you take care of yourself? >> yeah, i try to keep it together, you know. do some stretches and lift a few weights and swim a bit. >> charlie: eat well. i beg your pardon? >> charlie: eat well. yeah, well -- >> charlie: not as much as. not as much as. >> charlie: this book is about a hollywood you knew. >> yeah. >> charlie: tell me about it. well, you know, i work with a

lot of young people, and they always ask me about what it was like, what was the golden era like, and what was it like being in the contract system, all that. so i started to tell them. you know, i tell them that universal had 40 young people under contract and fox had 40 and columbia add 20 and every studio had a young contract players' list, and we were all anxious and eager to get into the movies and, you know, today, that's not possible. you know, that's not -- you know, you're a young actor today, you've got to go out and get an acting coach, get a manager and try to get a part in a picture -- >> charlie: a trainer. yeah. >> charlie: you've got to be engaged by social media. >> yeah, it's very difficult on young people today, you know, to start their career. you know, charlie, i was lucky, you know. i caught it.

so that's what i wrote about. it was the most thrilling time in my life, so that's why i'm trying to put it down. >> charlie: like sinatra's and spencer tracy's. >> yeah, that was nice. my hope is that the people that read this book will be as thrilled as i was when i did. >> charlie: you make an important point, though -- these were men, at that time, warner and his brother sam at columbia, right. >> darrell zana. >> charlie: these were people who loved, loved, loved the movies and cared about movies they wanted to see. >> and they put their names on it. >> charlie: yeah. you know, and they had a passion for it. they cared for it. and they gambled, they took great risks. maybe the picture wouldn't make that much money at that moment,

but over a period of time, it would return its cost, you know. they didn't have so much pressure as for the quarterly earnings and about, you know -- you know, the thing that happens now, if a picture grosses a tremendous amount of money, it really doesn't move the needle on the stock market. you know, because it's some subsidiary of some big company. so a picture makes, you know, $500 million, it doesn't really -- >> charlie: sony owns columbia, that epcot thing, actually selling electronics. >> right. >> charlie: the idea for the actor at the time, though, the studio system was good, but you didn't have the same freedom, did you? >> well, you had -- you had freedom. i mean, we actually had more freedom, you know. we could go -- are you talking

publicity-wise? >> charlie: no, with the roles. >> oh, no, not much freedom with that. but they had the idea what would be right for me. that doesn't happen so much anymore. >> charlie: how did you get a start? >> at 20th century fox, making $75 a week, take home $55, and i was in the movies. i was making tests with all the girls who came in. i did two tests with marilyn monroe. >> charlie: really. i was the test boy. all i wanted to do is get in front of the camera, figure out how it works and get used to it. so i started there, and they had a tremendous fan magazine department as they did in every studio, and i did a film called "a song in my heart," which i was on the screen only a few minutes, with susan hayward and

she played jane froman. and people walked out of the studio and said, who's that guy? that's what happens. the picture hits and they'll wonder who he was and that will start you. >> charlie: didn't you used to caddy for some of these guys? >> i caddied for clark gable. he took me to mgm. i told him i would like to be an actor. he said, let me -- i'll check it out. it didn't work, but i went there and met the coaches there. but they had other people in mind, and that was that. so i went on. >> charlie: now, if you had a studio contracts, would they give you a lot of acting lessons and that kind of thing? >> you could do anything. they had coaches there, they had dramatic coaches, they had fencing, they had, you know, ballet, they had anything, horseback riding, they'd teach you anything. >> charlie: teach you any

skill. >> anything you wanted. >> charlie: and hollywood was a small town. >> it was. >> charlie: you go to the grocery store yourself. you didn't have to be worried about being mobbed bipap ratsy.y poparazzi. >> people were kind, they liked to see you. it was a thrill to see an actor, somebody who was in the movies and stuff like that. it wasn't like it is now where they're all over you and trying to get a picture and, you know, get a photograph and they can get money for it. it's a different kind of -- listen, i'm -- >> charlie: you're just an image for them. >> well, it's tough. these guys that are really on fire, like a brad pitt and angelina jolie, i mean, they can't go out of their house without having some kind of protection and some kind of people getting back and protecting their kids and all that. it's really tough. it's a tremendous invasion.

>> charlie: yeah, i mean, george clooney, for example -- >> he's good. >> charlie: he is good. he's wonderful. >> charlie: but there's a guy who's there and he gives him space. he knows george will be in the picture, you know, a chance for a picture. >> i think he handles it really very well. >> charlie: because you can't do this, can you? because that's the picture they'll put. >> i guess you can. i don't know. i don't have that kind of rush on me. but a man like george clooney, i mean, he's exposed, you know, a lot, and i think he probably does have a difficult time in getting people out of his way so that he can have his talent. >> charlie: if you had to live your life over, what would you do differently? go into another business? >> this is what i always wanted to do -- >> charlie: yeah.

this business has been absolutely wonderful to me. i worked 65 years. just finished ncis, it was on last week. i love those people, and they write great stuff for me. i'm working at 84 years old. come on. it's great! huh? (laughter) >> charlie: yeah. i want to be you! i want to be you! >> i want to be you! you know, but -- >> charlie: they do treat me like royalty, though. >> yeah, and they should. but, i mean, i love what i do. i love it, you know. >> charlie: but... but i'm not so sure, with all of this -- >> charlie: the way it's changed. >> the way it happened because, you know, we're all fair game, and everybody's got a camera, and everybody's got -- they can get you on the internet, they can say anything they want about you, you don't have any kind of recourse about it. you have to just back up. >> charlie: and if you have tragedy, they never let it go. >> it just never stops. >> charlie: yeah.

you've had to come with grips with natalie by saying, i loved this woman, she was my dream. >> right, that's true. >> charlie: i know it's a mystery for all you, but i've told you everything i know. >> yeah, that's it. i mean, that's the fact, you know. it's not rumor. that's the truth. >> charlie: when you were there, was she -- was she who everybody wanted to be, natalie? >> was she -- >> charlie: as a young star. was she happy? >> charlie: no, was she what everybody wanted to be, a young star who was becoming huge. >> well, you know, she started off as a child actor. she, at five years old, was playing with orson wells and claudette cobair, doing a girl with a german accent. they dyed her hair blonde. she had a god-given gift and she

was able to cross over from child star to leading laidy, and she really did some wonderful work. she did some great pictures. she was a very special, special talent and highly regarded. >> charlie: of all those people, just give me -- i mean, we all look -- i mean, jimmy stewart -- >> mm-hmm. >> charlie: how can you not love jimmy stewart? >> oh, he was great. very special human being. very honest, you know. you know, he was able to kind of shake everything off of him and be the character that he played, and he kind of got that stuff out of the way -- you know, i mean, when you think of the things he did, he was a very courageous actor. cary grant, he took all sorts of risks, but they were their own men. >> charlie: everybody looks for the next cary grant, and

they can't find him. george had it a little bit, but there's never anybody who sort of has had exactly what he had in terms of roles -- >> yeah, and he created it. >> charlie: he created the character. >> he created the character, but, also, those scripts and that dynamic that went on with all of that -- you know, philadelphia story and that kind of thing -- that doesn't happen anymore, you know. >> charlie: mr. smith goes to washington and all that. >> yeah. >> charlie: looking back, do you wish you had spent more time as george clooney as done, as clint eastwood, as warren beatty has done, learning the whole business? >> well, i learned the whole business. i learned the whole business, but those guys are very special. i mean, you know, warren is a very talented man. i mean, he put together some very, very good films and very talented. >> charlie: he's back making a new film, too.

>> yeah. >> charlie: about howard hughes. >> and george clooney. >> charlie: clint eastwood. look at eastwood's career. >> charlie: body of work. yeah, i just never had a chance to direct -- >> charlie: they don't just give you the chance. you have to want to really want it badly. >> i decked directing on tv but i was on tv almost 15 years straight. i had a great run with my show "hart to hart." >> charlie: yeah. and "it takes a thief" and "switch" and all the movies. i went in that direction, and it was wonderful for me. i mean, put my kids through school and gave me a world-wide name. >> charlie: but you seem also to be, to me -- and what do i know -- you seem to be part of hollywood royalty and, so, that all the network executives and all the people sort of like your social company as well. yes? >> i hope so. >> charlie: it's true. you had a place there because you may have been there for a

while, but you were also part of the community, and you saw them at dinner and they liked you because you were smart, attractive, had a great family, et cetera. >> i think so. i think so. >> charlie: yeah. i mean, i think that all helps, too, you know. but content is so important, you know, and a lot of the people that are running the studios and the conglomerates and all that, they're not so interested in the material. the people we were talking about, beatty and, you know -- >> charlie: right. -- they are interested -- >> charlie: clooney. -- clooney. content, that's what they're interested in. clint, story. clint is driven by that. >> charlie: on the cover of this book, i've had the good fortune to have been here more than one day and, so, therefore, i've met lots of people you know. >> yes. >> charlie: this is one -- when anybody says to me, tell me

about your ten favorite interviews, she's on the list. >> tell them about that interview. that's a great interview. >> charlie: but she's so -- she's so real! >> charlie: exactly. she's right from the earth. >> charlie: right there. i like her very much. i worked with her, you know, and viktor directed the movie. >> charlie: he was special. that picture was taken when she came to los angeles after doing "boy on a dolphin," that was man on the right was him. >> charlie: tell me about marilyn monroe. >> oh, marilyn, she was such a wonderful lady. >> charlie: was she really? oh, yeah. >> charlie: but she was troubled. >> oh, yeah, she was troubled,

very troubled. but, i mean, you know, everybody wanted to get to her. i knew her when she was a model, you know, doing covers. >> charlie: you did? trying to break into the movies. >> yeah. so she would go on a modeling job. she'd walk in and my daughter's mother, marian marshall, was a model at that time and marilyn would come in and she had the shot, she knew it right away. and when i did the tests with her, she was so nice. she was just a terrific, terrific lady. i would see her on and off after that, and she couldn't have been nicer. >> charlie: a great picture of you and sinatra and natalie. >> yeah, that was natalie's 21st birthday party. >> charlie: 21st. yeah, frank gave her that party. that was a great time. >> charlie: what was he like? great. >> charlie: the consummate entertainer. >> yeah. >> charlie: the consummate entertainer.

>> he was so generous to me, took me places with him and, you know, i went to recording sessions and saw him so often. he was just a fabulous guy. fabulous. >> charlie: you knew lou wasserman. >> yes. >> charlie: how was he? he was very influential in my career. >> charlie: what did he do for you? >> he put me into television. >> charlie: because he owned universal. >> yeah. >> charlie: or part of it. he said, i think this character for you, alexander munday, which is a series i did called "it takes a thief," he says, i think you can make the cross between movies and going into television and he said, i want you to do it. he says, if it doesn't work out, i'll make a movie out of it for you. i said, okay. >> charlie: if it doesn't work out, i'll make a movie. >> yeah. and i did the series and then it just -- you know, it hit, right over the wall. and from that, you know, i became, you know, known all over

the world. >> charlie: that movie -- that series was in syndication all over the world and they loved it because it had an international flavor. >> and we did a lot of them. they were great. fred astaire came on that and played my father. >> charlie: i know, i know. i played his son. >> charlie: yes, yes. he was "the thief." >> charlie: yeah. but didn't you -- here's what would trouble me if i was you in that thing -- i mean, you seemed to have too little control over your career. >> well -- >> charlie: everybody else was deciding what bob wagner was going to do. >> yeah, but they made pretty good decisions. >> charlie: yes, they did. they were out for me for the best, you know. they weren't trying to put me in something that -- i mean, i did some -- >> charlie: they knew things and you trusted their judgment.

>> absolutely, i did. it was like a family, you know. if they said, listen, you can do this, we'll do that for you and we'll make you look right, we'll do the best for you. it's a crap shoot, anyway, who knows what's going to be a hit. >> charlie: take it back. you said, i mif i might have goo business. >> yeah. >> charlie: would that have been exciting enough for you? >> i don't think so. no, i had an opportunity to follow -- my father wanted me to go in his business, by is a steel business, and i worked back east for a while in the mills and stuff like that, but i wanted to be in the movies. i was fascinated by movies, charlie. >> charlie: i'v everybody wantso be in the movies. >> but i'm sitting in the theater looking at these guys going, how do they do that? it was great. and then to see them in person, oh, my! and i was never -- in my whole career, i have never been disappointed in someone i've

met. cary was sensational. >> charlie: any of them behind the scenes -- >> no. >> charlie: nobody? nobody. very lucky. >> charlie: how many people did you meet? >> lots. lots. (laughter) no, i mean that, really, truly. >> charlie: yeah? for me. i just admired them, so you know. and they were generous to me and so -- i just gotta tell ya, i -- i was so thrilled to be a part of this, it was everything to me. it meant everything to me. >> charlie: how's jill? she is wonderful. >> charlie: i do love her. yeah, she's great. >> charlie: i mean, that's really been -- >> been wonderful. we have been married 24 years. >> charlie: a lucky break for mr. wagner. >> boy, i'll say. (laughter) i really didn't think -- and i've talked to you about this -- i didn't think i was going to land on my feet again because, after natalie died, that was a

very, very difficult, very, very rough time for all of us, for my whole family and, you know, when she came into my life, she had her hand under my elbow, holding me up, you know. >> charlie: it was devastating for you. beyond the loss of your wife, just the suspicious and everything that people said they didn't know. >> yeah, well... we didn't, you know. >> charlie: will we ever know? i don't think so. they -- well, when something like that happens where nobody sees what happened, you know, nobody saw what happened to her, she was just gone, you know, and, so, when that happens, there's no -- it's an open situation. i mean, there's been, you know -- we have ideas of what -- that she, you know, had this accident and slipped on the step and rolled into the water, but,

you know -- >> charlie: why do you think that guy came forward several years ago? what was his -- >> well, you know, charlie, i think that it's kind of transparent. he had written a book, and he wanted to get publicity. i mean, i really never answered it because it was, you know, all hearsay, you know. it wasn't true. i mean, you know... there were so many people that were involved when this accident happened, there were so many people that were on top of that, there's no way with it could have ever been anything than what happened. i mean, that's it. >> charlie: people would have made a career if they could have figured out something different than the accepted truth. >> absolutely, yeah. absolutely. that was a very tragic thing that happened. it was very upsetting for our family.

you can imagine, it was terrible for our girls. >> charlie: did you have a relationship with chris? >> no, i didn't. i never really -- i never really knew him. i met him, obviously, you know, but i never knew him. i think he's a very nice guy. >> charlie: talented actor. very talented and he's a gentleman. >> charlie: he sure is. he is a gentleman. i don't -- i don't see him because i live in california and he's back here. we were in a movie together, which was never released, but i missed him when he came down, we were shooting down in a church in caicos, and i left, and he came in and i missed him. i've seen him a few times, you know, when we run into each other. >> charlie: do you ever talk about it? >> yeah, we talk about it, but i never had a real big discussion

with him about it because -- you know, he was there and he was there at the services and -- i mean, he was pretty well shaken up, as we all were. i mean, we were all devastated. >> charlie: do you still boat? do you go out boating? >> no, i gave up the boat. i gave the boat that we had -- natalie and i had, that was our boat, i gave that to the sea scouts and donated it in her name and they had it for a number of years ago and then somebody bought it, put the name back on it and turned it into a cocktail boat that natalie died on. >> charlie: oh... it was tragic. >> charlie: the thing most devastating to me was -- i mean, she was your wife, she was young, beautiful -- >> a mother. >> charlie: -- and a mother and for always people will be

asking, you know, something that goes not to the heart of how remarkable she was but to, you know, what were the circumstances of the last moments. >> she was a very remarkable, remarkable lady. a remarkable girl. >> charlie: is there anything you would love to do you haven't done? >> you know, i really have done a lot of things. >> charlie: i know you have. i have been involved in a lot of different things. i loved it when i had my ranch. >> charlie: really? when i was raising my horses and stuff like that. >> charlie: you don't do that? no, i had to give it up. >> charlie: but you liked that, being out there, you and the horses? >> i loved it. you know, i love where i live now, and it's all worked out okay for me, charlie. >> charlie: i tell you what, i feel the same way, that so many people who know you, they cherish the friendship because you are one classy guy. i thank you for coming by. >> i want to thank you for having me. >> charlie: jane fonda is here, she has lived many lives over the course of her remarkable life and career.

oscar-winning actress, political activist and best-selling author, deseated a lot of her time to her passion for teen health, work led to the new book called being a teen, sheds light on the physical and emotional intricacies of adolescence. i'm pleased to have jane fonda back at the table. welcome. >> good to be here, charlie. >> charlie: you're interested in everything, but why this for you? >> well, i have a real soft spot in my heart for adolescents. >> charlie: why? they're hard to love. (laughter) it's easy to love kids but adolescents get very brickly. p. i had a very hard adolescents, so it's hard to imagine for kids who have less opportunity. i ran a children's camp 15 years in california and started various non-profits in georgia, the georgia campaign for adolescent power and potential

and the jane fonda center for adolescent reproductive health at university of emory. >> charlie: you should have been a doctor. >> parts of me are attracted to that. for a long time, it wasn't even considered a unique stage of human development. there was childhood and adulthood and now we know that it is a very specific stage of life. it's the gateway to adulthood when the young person moves from concrete thinking to abstract thinking and begins to develop values and their own identity and to be individual and they need a lot of answers and guidance. >> charlie: why do some rebel and others don't? >> i don't know, but i know that, for most parents -- and it's worse now than it used to be -- it's hard to be a parent of a teen. it's hard to be a teen, too. >> charlie: what makes it hard? >> well, you have, boys in particular, all this testosterone, which is the

hormone that is sexy and it's aggressive, and this is coursing through their body at a time when their brain is still under construction -- especially the pre-frontal cortex, which is planning and decision-making, so it's like putting high-octane jet fuel in a model t ford, can lead to risky behavior. the brain doesn't really mature till 23 or 24, so, you know, there are a lot of pressures for both boys and girls, and they need guidance and they need boundaries and, yet, they give off this vibe to parents that, you know, you're just an old fogey and you don't know anything and don't talk to me, but they really want you to. >> charlie: one of the things you said in answering if question of one of your great fears in adolescents is you didn't know where to go for answers. >> they don't know. and very often parents are scared to talk about things and don't know where to begin. a lot of people who have been

interviewing me, who have read the book, and obviously they're grownups and they're saying, wow, i've learned things i didn't know and this is going to help me talk to my teens, which made me very happy. >> charlie: could you talk to your dad? >> oh, are you kidding? you knew my dad. >> charlie: yes, i did. that's what we call a leading question (laughter) >> no, bless his heart. i mean, that generation had a really hard time. and i couldn't talk to my mother either. >> charlie: yeah. you turned out all right. >> yeah, i've worked hard to turn out all right. it took me a long time. >> charlie: did you do for this book what you did for the other books? you uh go talk to everybody you can possibly talk to who's an expert and put it all together and try to make it through prism of your own clarity. >> well, you know, i spent, i figured, close to 30 years close to teenagers. >> charlie: yeah. in california and then in georgia, and, you know, i've talked to groups of girls, i organized groups of boys, i

talked to parents about teens, i've read voluminously, so i know a lot from my personal experience with teens how much misinformation there is and how valuable good information is and how it helps them avoid problems. >> charlie: about your father, whom i did know and admire, you said clearly, but you said that he objectified you, didn't he? >> there's a lot of books about the changing body, the plumbing. >> charlie: right. i wanted to write a book that was more holistic that talks about the developing identity, how to manage the media and the messages that are sent to us, the messages that tell boys don't be sissies and don't ask for directions and be tough and don't show your emotions and don't respect girls, and who tell girls don't be angry and be quiet and be a pleaser. >> charlie: you wanted to break through all that. >> yeah, and body image and sex, all the things that didn't exist when i was a teen -- sexting,

cyberbullying, all those things -- it's hard for kids. >> charlie: you have also talked about aging. if somebody came along and said you could be 20 again, would you want to be 20 again? >> not -- i can't think of any amount of money that could make me want to go back. >> charlie: is that right? yeah. no -- >> charlie: even if you had some insight from the life you lived. >> oh, if i could go back knowing what i know now? >> charlie: oh, yeah. yeah, i'd love to be able to do it over again, but never to go back the way i was. >> charlie: you had to struggle to get to where you are. >> yeah, i've done a lot of work. >> charlie: because you have faced up at every time -- you seem to have two qualities. number one is authenticity. you are who you think you ought to be and do what you think you should do and you're true to yourself. >> i've learned lately to be authentic, yeah, but i think it takes work to become who you're

supposed to be. >> charlie: yeah. the t.s. elliott quote, you spend your life -- i'm paraphrasing -- you spend your life exploring and at the end of your explorations, you arrive back where you started and know it for the first time. >> charlie: yeah. if i could go back and really know it, then, yeah, i'd like to go back. >> charlie: because i read somewhere you said you never wanted to be 20 again. >> not the way i was when i was 20, but if i could take my hard-earned wisdom back with me, i wouldn't mind having that to do over again with a lot more smarts and, you know, i was not a parent that knew this stuff when my kids were teens. they're now in their 40s. i can't be self-righteous about it. >> charlie: made mistakes. yes, i did. >> charlie: what kind? i was about two years too late talking to them about -- >> charlie: they knew already. i didn't know how to be an approachable and askable parent, starting quite early. i didn't know how to listen and not be judgmental. >> charlie: is it different

for boys than girls. >> it's very different for boys. >> charlie: because to have all the -- because of all the testosterone. >> when y'all are really young, like five or six, the pressure on you is, you know, to stand up and don't be a sissy and don't be a momma's boy, so you shut down, you bifurcate head from heart and that's all you know. so boys think that's just the way it is. boys lose their empathy, their heart. girls lose their voice, they true aw authenticity at puberty, but they have a whole decade before then of, oh, yeah? who says? and wrestling and climbing trees and things like this. so that's why girls and women tend to be more agents of change because you don't have to scrape so deep to get them back to where they were. >> charlie: but we're so influenced by peers. >> we talk a lot about that. >> charlie: i know you do. i have this in my hand.

>> well, you've read it (laughter) but one of the things hat i want to say -- that i want to say because there are going to be parents watching this show, i think it's a good idea to ask your children, what kind of person do you want to be? you know, everyone always says what do you want to be when you grow up -- like what do you want to do? but what kind of person do you want to be? what kind of values? have them write them down. because when you write them down, it becomes more cognitive, you're mohex focused. >> charlie: someone had a saying that said, think about the end of your life, look ahead to it and what would you like to have people say about you -- not be, but have people say about you. who would you like to be as a human being and then try to become that person. >> that's right, and then it goes back to what you said about the peer pressure. are the kids you're hanging out with encouraging you in that direction that you say you want to go in, or are they keeping you from being the kind of person you want to be? you know, it's this period of time when we have to make young

adolescents very conscious of their developing identity and all th the pressures coming at m to make them what they don't want to be so they can resistt er? i never understood it, but people said to me, the child became the man, who they were in the adolescence period shaped who they became. >> that's why it's so important. >> charlie: and it's so important to understand it >> yeah. >> charlie: at the same time, can you look back and say i am jane fonda today because of these events that happened in my life or these relationships that happened in my life? it's harder for me to do that. >> i am the jane fonda today that i am because i have looked back on all those things and understood them from a distance. >> charlie: with the help of professionals who you could talk to. >> with the help of therapy and with the help of what's called

doing a life review which is what i did when i wrote my memoirs without knowing, to go book and look at your parents and grandparents and understood why they were the way they were and why they raised you the way they did and find out it had nothing to do with you because you're quite okay and loveable. they had their own issues and did the best they could. >> charlie: once you found that out, you could look at life in better way (sighs) three years ago, you said you were the happiest you had ever been. >> i was way past 50 when i said that. >> charlie: you were 70. yeah. >> charlie: but you said it because you had done such an introspective look at your life -- >> that's right. >> charlie: it's a sad thing, once again -- i mean, people, sometimes it's often said, don't

look at their life till they're sick and they worry about losing it. you had the good fortune to do it while you were healthy. but most people never have the kind of event that lead them to look introsuspectively at themselves because they're on such a treadmill they never think about it. they're thinking about all the events that sort of come rushing their way. >> yeah, that's why i wrote my memoir the way i did and why i've also written a book called "prime time" about aging to encourage people to think about, you know, how do you know where you're going if you don't know where you have been? >> charlie: you're going to receive the lifetime achievement award from the afi. >> i'm so honored and thrilled. i burst into tears when i was told i was going to receive that. >> charlie: and it means so much to you because it's a recognition of a lifetime of work. >> yeah. you know, i left my profession for 15 years.

ten with ted and five writing my memoir, and the fact i could come back and be honored is tremendous to me. betty davis asked me to host her afi award. barbara stanwyck had me give her her award and my dad. >> charlie: i've heard incredible stories about barbara. >> well, look at her movie. >> charlie: and the relationships -- >> i think my dad had an affair with her. >> charlie: oh. i was sort of told that and hoped it was true. >> charlie: everybody talks about how smart she was. some of the same things as katharine hepburn. >> what to they say. >> charlie: smart, marching to her own agenda, comfortable in her own skin. >> i hope that's true. >> charlie: so what is it you would like for them -- why does

it mean so much? because it is the profession you grew up in? it's a profession that welcomed you back after the absence? and it is how -- it has taken so many years of your life, in a sense, or given so many years of your life. >> yeah. whewhen your industry opens its arms to you in that kind of way and all these people that you've worked with come forward and say nice things about you, it's just wonderful, at my age, to have that happen. >> charlie: what's the ultimate wisdom about growing old? >> stay active. stay curious. you know, it's much more important to be interested than being interesting. stay interested. stay curious and stay active. >> charlie: but no one does that more than you do, do they? >> i don't think so. i learn stuff every day. >> charlie: this book is called being a teen, everything teen girls and boys should

know -- about relationships, about sex, about love, about health, identity and more. if you don't know why this is look at the tragic examples of where peer pressure, whether over the internet or -- causes kids sometimes the most tragic consequences. >> yeah, i know. >> charlie: because of peer pressure and because of their desperate need to be liked and to be -- and to feel that you're a part. it is cause the most damage. >> one of my favorite chapters is about sexual identity, sexual orientation, and, you know, i'm really proud of that chapter. it's the best one i've read, about -- >> charlie: how to come to grips with your own sexual identity. >> being gay, lesbian, trans, or questioning. >> charlie: who is melissa. director of the jane fonda center at the emory school of

medicine. >> charlie: what happens there? >> for adolescent reproductive health and we develop all kinds of curricula that help kids know what a healthy relationship looks like. some curricula directed exclusively to boys to reduce dating violence, for example, all different kinds of curricula that get used nationwide. it's a fabulous place. >> charlie: thank you for coming. >> thank you for having me. >> charlie: jane fonda, book is called "being a teen, everything teen girls and boys should know about relationships, sex, love, health, identity and more." captioning sponsored by rose communications captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

♪ >> i often think it was like a child getting lost in a supermarket. he was just wandering up an aisle, looking at fish, and he turned around... and his family was gone. ♪