captioning sponsored by macneil/lehrer productions >> ifill: protesters in nigeria raised their voices in outrage over the fate of more than 200 girls abducted from their school three weeks ago, as the militant leader behind the kidnapping vowed to sell the girls as brides. good evening, i'm gwen ifill. judy woodruff is away. also ahead, the supreme court upholds the right to start local government meetings with prayer. plus, we kick off a weeklong series on the modern family, "parenting now," with a look at how roles are changing. >> we don't only feel like we need to cultivate our children but i think we also feel like we should be custodians of their happiness.

that is a very recent development. those are just some of the stories we're covering on tonight's pbs newshour. >> i've been around long enough to recognize the people who are out there owning it. the ones getting involved, staying engaged. they are not afraid to question the path they're on. because the one question they never want to ask is, "how did i end up here?" i started schwab with those people. people who want to take ownership of their investments, like they do in every other aspect of their lives.

>> supported by the john d. and catherine t. macarthur foundation. committed to building a more just, verdant and peaceful world. more information at macfound.org >> and with the ongoing support of these institutions and foundations. and... >> this program was made possible by the corporation for public broadcasting. and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. >> ifill: fresh fighting erupted in ukraine today, in a key city

seized by separatists who want to join russia. that followed a weekend of violent confrontations. we have a report from james mates of independent television news. >> the picture is unclear. the battlefield spread across the suburbs of the separatistist sub hold of sloviansk. >> they are believed to be returning from an am bush against ukrainian solliers that left four soldiers dead and 30 wounded. the separatists themselves suffer casualties, this man lying wounded the. ukrainian claims they killed 20 but no prospect of confirming these numbers. the biggest blow to the ukrainian forces is there is another one of their helicopters has been shot down. this is said to be video today of a military helicopter coming under gunfire. smoke in the distance is said to be from the crash. though we can't confirm this.

in the south of ukraine the city of odessa has enjoyed a day of uneasy calm. spent by many morning the 42 who died in riots and fire here on friday. the names of the dead are still being added to a list outside ot trade union building. among them was a 17-year-old whose smother fattima had come to see where he died. a sister el mira translated for us. >> when they found him lying on the ground,-- members like legs and hands -- >> several thousand people have been through this building in the last two days. some to pay their respects, some to see for themselves what happened. some to express their anger that it was ever allowed to happen. this is not a damage tee that is bringing this city together in its grief. in fact, quite the opposite.

the funerals have already begun. this one a civic leader beaten to death in the rioting. there be days before they buried last week's dead am but how much more blood may yet be spilled before ukraine's crisis is over >> ifill: late today, the government of neighboring moldova placed its borders on alert, in case the unrest in ukraine spills over. new fighting raged in south sudan today as the government struggled to put down a rebellion. the military said it overran an opposition base in nawsir, and re-took the oil town of bentiu. later, the rebels launched a counter-offensive. also today, secretary of state john kerry, threatened the rebel leader with sanctions, unless he agrees to face-to-face talks with south sudan's president. the world health organization has declared a global health emergency amid outbreaks of polio across asia, africa and the middle east. the u.n. agency today reported 417 new cases last year, nearly twice as many as the year before. officials say pakistan and syria

are particular hot spots, as civil war and unrest hinder vaccinations. survivors of deadly landslides in northeastern afghanistan angrily complained today about lack of aid. as many as 2,700 people died in friday's disaster, and 4,000 were left homeless. villagers continued digging for bodies of their loved ones today, as others rushed to line up for food. but some said they've been left to fend for themselves. >> ( translated ): after the landslide we are in huge misery, in the past three days we have not received any assistance, also women and children in this area are all ill. so far no one has showed any sympathy for us. >> ifill: villagers also said the afghan government has provided no heavy equipment to help with the digging. a u.n. committee on torture pressed the vatican today on its handling of sexual abuse by priests. at a geneva hearing, committee members suggested, the church's failings in the scandal, could leave it open to legal claims

that it condoned torture. roman catholic officials argue they are liable only for what occurs within vatican city itself. back in this country, house republicans are pressing ahead with a new investigation of the deadly 2012 attack on u.s. diplomats in benghazi, libya. speaker john boehner today named south carolina congressman trey gowdy to chair that panel. democrats have not decided whether to participate. that huge holiday-season data breach at target has cost the company c.e.o. his job. the retail giant announced gregg steinhafel's resignation today. he's been under pressure since hackers stole credit and debit card information from millions of customers. in a statement, target's board said it's "the right time for new leadership." on wall street today, the dow jones industrial average gained 17 points to close at 16,530. the nasdaq rose 14 points to close at 4,138. and the s-and-p 500 added 3 to

finish at 1884. still to come on the newshour: nigerians' outrage over threats to sell abducted girls; a preview of this month's primary elections; russia's former foreign minister on moscow's role in ukraine; the supreme court upholds the right to pray at public meetings; and the pressures of modern parenthood. >> brown: outrage in nigeria has spread around the world tonight, over the fate of hundreds of abducted schoolgirls, as the leader of an islamist terrorist group said he will sell the students, and reports surfaced that the country's first lady expressed doubts that there was any kidnapping. jeffrey brown reports. >> we want our girls, we want our girls! >> brown: anger and frustration filled the air in lagos, nigeria, as hundreds of

protesters demanded a stepped-up search for the girls. >> we want these girls to be rescued with immediate effect. we want them back alive because they are our tomorrow. >> brown: in all more than 300 female students were reportedly taken from a boarding school in northeast nigeria on april 14th. 53 later escaped. the leader of the islamist militant boko haram formally claimed responsibility today, but he dismissed the international outcry over the mass kidnapping. and, he declared the girls are now slaves. >> ( translated ): just because i took some little girls from their western education everybody is making noise. and i say stop western education, i repeat i took the girls, and i will sell them off, there is a market for selling girls. >> brown: already, it's reported that some of the girls have been forced to marry their kidnappers or taken to neighboring countries.

>> we promise that wherever these girls are, we will surely get them out. >> brown: on sunday, nigerian president goodluck jonathan vowed to secure the students' return, but he also criticized the parents. >> brown: and today, protest leaders charged nigerian first lady patience jonathan had them arrested and accused them of fabricating the abductions. meanwhile, state department spokeswoman marie harf said the u.s. is ready to help in the return of the girls. all this as nigeria reels from bombings and other violence in advance of hosting the world economic forum. it begins wednesday in the capital city, abuja. >> brown: we take a close look at the situation, with: carl levan, an assistant professor at american university's school of international service.

and mojubaolu okome, a professor of african and women's studies at brooklyn college. let me start with you professor o combe wa, you can tell us about the strong feeling of this inside nigeria and who is it aimed at, the military, the system as a whole? >> many parents are distressed because in this happens to somebody's child, it affects everybody who is a parent because of the potential that things can spirl out of control. besides it's important for the girls to be united with their families. and this situation has dragged on now into three weeks. and there's absolutely no coheesive information. the distrust the people are feeling and a lot of the criticisms are directed to the system as a whole. >> brown: carl leffan let me ask you about that system just to frame it for people,

sectarian violence going on at the same time the country still in a transition to democracy. >> the transition has been longer an perhaps more feignful than i think many nigerians expected. the country transitioned in may 1999 after almost 17 long years of dictatorship. and there have been several elections since then, most recently in 2011. and the most recent election went pretty well but the country's also had to overcome some really difficult challenges along the way. just a few years ago there was a very serious rebellion in the oil producing region the niger delta and now for the last several years the country has faced this rebellion in the northeast by this group boko haram. >> brown: an how much when we hear discuss ams between north and south, how much does that play into the willingness or ability of the government to go and find these girls, to take more action. >> well, politicians

certainly like to portray themselves and like to campaign on a national platform. i think that's certainly what the guy gerian citizens expect. but the truth is that the historical divide and cultural divide is one that the country is still grappling with. nigeria is in fact exactly 100 years old this year and over the last year or two there were a lot of commentary in the newspapers, for example, about the so-called mistake of 1914. having said that, i think many nigerians are hopeful about the future and would like to see their government invest a little bit more in that hope. >> brown: professor okome what about the strange juxtaposition that we have seen in the last day where you have the president saying he going to dofering possible, after not saying much publicly for a while. and then the first lady reportedly questioning the whole kidnapping. what is going on? >> i think the goodluck

jonathan administration would be able to explain better what's going on. but just judging from what i was able to read in the media, if what i am reading is true then it's indicative of the fact that the government itself needs to learn that it has to have a coheesive message. it has to have a unified approach. it has to give confidence to the nigerian people that these children are uppermost in its mind and that it's going to do everything in its power to bring them back to their families. besides, if they are saying they want to do this, people are bringing attention, they are calling attention to the situation, then it's sending a very bad message. and the government needs to do everything that it can to correct this immediately. and instill confidence in

nigeria people that their security matters to it. and that it's going to truly do everything in its power to bring the girls back to their families. >> brown: carl levan, this has clearly taken on northerly dimensions now. do it is it affecting how the white house outside world sees nigeria and what if anything account u.s. and other outside nations do at this point? >> well, the u.s. has been providing a modest level of assistance for the last several years now. and there are there is a lot of concern about the conflict in the northeast taking on international dimensions. buts there's no question that also the lead responsibility lies with the nigerian government. and i just got off the phone about an hour ago with some of the protest organizers that have been marching through the last couple of days. and one of the things that they highlighted is a disconnect of information between the government and the local civil societies in the affected areas. so there is certainly more

that the international community could do but that lead role really needs to come from the nigerian government. you know, for example the kind of assistance that the foreign governments could offer on a very practical and level is after the bombing about two weeks ago in the area just outside of the capitol of abuja almost immediately after the incident, which was a horrible incident in which dozens of people were killed, the scene was swept up. it's just a basic principles of not just counterterrorism but also of crime that you want to gather the evidence and allow some forensics to take place. and there certainly are experts in the international community who i think are positioned to help. >> so do you think professor that this is having an effect on how the world sees nigeria at this point? we noted in our settup that the world economic for imis coming in this eck would, the oil industry very important internationally. what do you think this

industry is doing to the country. >> nigeria is going to have the world economic foreign meeting. i'm sure there's apprehension about security. s will's also reports from the government of nigeria that it has prepared 5,000 security personnel to give defense to the people. now if nigeria cannot assure its own people that they are well protected and secure, and it's putting-- to giving security to the world economic forum, which it should do, it needs to really think about the message that it's sending. >> brown: all right, mojubaolu okome and carl levan, thank you both very much. >> thanks for having us on the show, jeff. >> ifill: after months of politicking and prediction,

tomorrow kicks off what is about to be a very busy primary election season. voters in three states, north carolina, indiana, and ohio, head to the polls tomorrow. what's more, over the next month and a half, 25 states, half the nation, will hold primaries for congress and local offices. to help us understand what's happening in these races, we introduce you tonight to newshour's new political editor, domenico montanaro. new to them, not so new to us but to the a moment too soon. lots to fit in that is going on right to you but let's start in the petrie dish of primary politics right now. north carolina with senator kay hagan, the democrat, as we watches three republicans compete for her job. tom, greg banan, mark harris, tell us about them. >> north carolina is one of these states, it's where everyone thinks that the election goes through because we've got republicans need six seats to take back the senate. this one is where mitt romney won, they think that

kay hagan is vulnerable and tom tillis is the person who establishment republicans really think has the best chance to beat hagan. the problem though is that he needs to get 40% tomorrow to be able to surpass the threshold for, to avoid a runoff. and if he doesn't do that then we're talking july 15th is when that runoff takes place and he's going to have to be fighting to see how conservative he is or the other candidates are before they can take on kay hagan. >> ifill: who are the other two. >> mark harris an evangelical pastor, not the top challenger though, craig branon is a doctor, libertarian, mentions the constitution in almost everything he talks about, rand paul is back him. he is the top challenger to tillis, that is why you see a lot of outside groups now pouring tons of money in right now to try to back up tillis. we have seen 15,000 ads so far run in north carolina, 6.5 million dollars, 90% of that money coming from outside groups.

>> ifill: now to kentucky, the bluegrass state, kentucky derby, senator mitchman connell, senate minority leader mitch mcconnell, the leader of the senate republicans foomds himself or at least we thought, fond himself in a pretty tight re-election challenge against a fellow named matt zevin who is once again a tea party challenger. and how is that going. >> right now mr. mcconnell everyone believes is way ahead in the polls against matt bevin but he had to spend a lot of time trying to take on bevin and what has happened in the meantime is that the democrat is waiting in the wings to take him on has been able to sort of wait, has been able to build up her own name identification in the state. and try to tack to the center before she takes on mcconnell. so right now they're tied. and the big question going to be for mccon sell if he can get back some of these traditional conservatives who are backing bevin. and that's what is really kepping this race tight. if can get those folks on his side, people think that he will be able to defeat

grimes and hope to become the next senate majority leader, by the way. >> ifill: that's right. the republicans take over the senate. it is as much outside money coming into kentucky as north carolina. >> not quite as much but we're seeing a ton of outside money. one aspect where you see a lot of outside money, a million dollars has been spent by the senate conservative fund to try to defeat mcconnell but that hasn't worked out for them at this point. >> ifill: let's talk about georgia where a lot of people have decided they are going for an open seat. there are no fewer than five people running for the seat, for the republican nomination, three of them city members-- sitting members of congress. >> to doubt about that, you have these five members running jack kingston, phil beginningry, paul brown, david purdue who say former reebok c.e.o. and dollar general, and so you've got these folks ult here who are really trying to upend what has happened in this open

seat-- open seat and when you have this many people, republicans are served that where michelle nunn waiting in the wings who is the democrat, daughter of sam nunn, that if they can't kind of get past this primary quickly and the problem for them is they need 50% to move on on the may 20th primary f they don't get 50%, almost nobody expects that they will, there is a july 22nd runoff. so a lot of time for nunn to then find herself tacked to the center while republicans fight it out. >> ifill: and a runoff in the dead of summer. does this shake down the way it does say in north carolina or other states we have been watching, tea party establishments, especially the evangelical. >> we have seen that at least in north carolina. you have tea party with branon you have evangelical. >> what about georgia. >> in georgia it's not quite so clean cut. because have more so there a lot of outsiders who are trying to take on the establishment a little bit more. but you know, these folks

are, what republicans are worried about, were worried about is either brown or gingrey getting through because they feel like they were less disciplined than some of the other three out front. >> ifill: democrats lucked out last name with a couple of weak senate candidates it, are think seeing that or thinking about todd in missouri, richard murdoch in indiana or even christine o done nell delaware, are they sitting back and waiting for the republicans to implode is that too much for them to hope for? >> i think democrat was love for something like that to happen but what we have seen is republicans ready for it this time around. establishment republicans really flexing their muscles this time. what these next six weeks will tell sus does the tea party have some of that momentum still on its side. and so far it looks like the establishment is striking back because mitch mcconnell for one, some others are really decided that they are going to push full throw the told make sure the tea party doesn't have a chance to take them over. of course some democratss

are trying to say that is because they co-opted their messaging. whatever it s what testify comes down to if republicans can keep their establishment folks on the winning side of things they feel like that will give them a better chance because they feel like they've blown five seats over its last two cycles. >> with half the country to cope track of, domenico we'll be talking about this some more. thank you so much. >> thanks for having me on. >> ifill: now, we turn to russia's role in the ukraine crisis, and a conversation with a key player in moscow's relations with the world after the collapse of the soviet union. chief foreign affairs correspondent margaret warner has the story. >> warner: weekend clashes across eastern ukraine are just the latest flash-points in a long struggle over the nation's future. ever since pro-western demonstrators ousted president viktor yanukovych, a russian ally, in late february.

for those protesters, and the transitional government now in charge, ukraine's future lies with europe and the west. but for many in ukraine, especially in the heavily russian-speaking east, vladmir putin's russia, and echoes of ukraine's soviet past, hold more appeal. putin used such sentiments to justify the invasion and annexation of crimea. putin has made clear the pride of place ukraine holds in russia's identity. but he also argues that the post-cold-war expansion of west's military alliance, n.a.t.o., is spurring his actions in ukraine. since the soviet union dissolved 23 years ago, n.a.t.o.'s ranks have swelled to encompass many former warsaw pact satellite states in eastern europe, and three former soviet republics, in the baltics during a televised call-in show last month, putin charged this

expansion represented a broken promise by the west, and a threat to russia >> ( translated ): when the infrastructure of the n.a.t.o. military bloc is approaching our borders it raises certain questions for us. we have to take some steps in response. if we don't do anything that they will drag ukraine to n.a.t.o. and tell us that it's not our business. >> warner: to explore putin's motivations in ukraine, i sat down last week with andrey kozyrev, russia's first foreign minister for five years after the soviet union dissolved in 1991. >> warner: andrei kozyrev thank you for joining us. >> thank you. >> warner: let's start with ukraine, what do you think president putin is after in ukraine? >> he thinks that this revolution which happened in ukraine was going into the wrong

direction, that is kind of western direction. and it was, according to him, even instigated, if not directly or indirectly by the west. and that's why he thinks that this will lead, as i understand it, as i read it, that will lead to increase of western influence in ukraine as opposed to russian. >> warner: president obama likes to talk about finding win-win solutions. do you think that is possible with president putin in addressing the ukraine issue? >> difficult. probably they mean different things when they speak of win- win solution. i guess for president putin and for his type of people, the win- win situation would be like a formal or informal division, agreement that this part is your part of influence, the western part of influence, and this part is our zone of influence. so then i think for them, that

would be win-win situation. but for president obama, it's a little bit unclear what he means and that's what bothers me. >> warner: are you saying that you think american policy toward the ukraine crisis has been unclear? i think the policy was kind of a little bit different in words and not followed up by deeds. if you call something aggression, aggression is the the strongest, should be followed by something. but those, what they call sanctions, they don't match with this word. they are very, very confusing and counterproductive.

>> warner: how much of what putin is doing in ukraine do you think is driven by n.a.t.o.'s expansion eastward? president putin has talked a lot about that in his recent speeches and remarks that russia feels duped by the west or that the west took advantage of its weakness in the early 90's and violated promises and assurances not to move this military alliance ever closer to russia's borders. >> on my outlook on the world and the nato alliance is very different from that because i don't think that nato is an enemy of russia in the first place. and i think that-- of the enemy image in nato that it was a big mistake and that's the core of the problem. so if you see that nato is an enemy, of course, inclusion of members into enemy alliance say threat. advancement of enemy alliance to your front tears

is a threat-- frontiers is a threat. that is what putin says, is the enmoo he is advancing. >> warner: why do you think what he is doing in ukraine is so apparently appealing and popular with the russian public? >> well, you know, there is a big force of propaganda. let's face it. it's very strong, especially if you control 99% of the media and especially if you control tv which is-- the channel of communication to the people in russia. so so the propaganda machine has proved to be very effective recently. >> warner: do you think it also speaks to something in the russian soul? there's a strain of sort of chauvinism or nationalism? >> no, i don't believe in

chauvinism in russia. but russian people, there is no hitler today in russia. and russian people are not driven, i'm pretty much convinced, by this kind of racial or nationalistic in that terms. but yes they are vulnerable to anti-western propaganda and again it all feeds into the narrative that there is enemy. the west, the n.a.t.o., the united states, and the enemy is advancing. it's advancing, that's what russian people react to. so let me just ask. so far the us and the e.u. have imposed limited, targeted sanctions on individuals in russia, are those effective at all? are they having any effect on putin and the people around him? >> i think those measures, yeah, they evidently hit a few people but it's too small a number of people and some of them actually are not public figures. and the problem is that you

know, the propaganda portrays the west as an enemy while the russian ruling class lives there in the n.a.t.o. zone. they have villas, they have bank accounts by proxies or directly >> warner: you mean in europe or in the u.s.? >> yes, europe, u.s. mostly in french and italian riviera, in london, in new york, miami. so if you want to convey something, you should convey it >> these guys should see that they did something wrong, well, they did not. in that case, they are

welcome to spend an occasion. i mean there should be some consistency. >> is it ditch for you who comes to the state as lot because you have a son here in school to speak frankly about what you think president putin is doing? >> in a sense, yes. bus you know, you have to be mindful of the so-called patriotic fever which is today in russia and it will pass. it will kind of come to normal sooner rather than later. but there time of-- you should be mindful of that situation. and i want to keep my channels open to try to help to moderate the situation. so yes, you have to be very careful. >> foreign minister and rayy

kozey ref, thank you. >> thank you. >> ifill: the supreme court today, in a 5-4 decision, ruled that local governments can open town meetings with a prayer, even if the prayer-giver explicitly represents one religion. marcia coyle of the national law journal was in the courtroom this morning and is back with us tonight. remind us about this, we talked about this on this program before. >> we did. >> ifill: remind us what the conflict was. >> sure. two residents of the town of greece, new york, filed a constitutional challenge in 230-- 2008. to the town board's opening of its meetings with prayer. these two residents claimed that the prayers were almost exclusively christian in nature. and that violated the first amendment's prohibition on government establishing a religion. the lower federal appellate court here agreed with them. they said the overwhelming christian nature of the prayers for nearly a decade

gave the appearance of government endorsing religion which violates the first amendment. so the town brought the appeal to the supreme court. it was backed by the obama administration and that was the case before, that the justices decided today. >> and they often think about the nativity scenes on the courthouse lawns s this different from that? >> yes t is. in fact, justice kennedy who wrote the majority opinion said today this case legislative prayer cases are controlled by a 1983 supreme court decision in which the court upheld legislative prayers at the opening of the february neck-- nebraska legislature and ruled that way based on the nature's long tradition and history of legislative prayers, a tradition that goes back to the first congress so he rejected the challengers' arguments that the prayers should be nonsectarian. he said that to have a rule like that would draw government and courts into

analyzing and maybe even sensoring the content of prayer which is worse than what was happening in the town here which wasn't editing or dictating the content of the prayer. >> ifill: does this really mean that all challenges to legislative prayer are now off the books? >> no, not really. in fact, justice kennedy said that you are not going to base a decision on the content of a single prayer but what you want to look for is whether there is a pattern of prayer that over time proselytizes, advances or denigrates one belief over another. and that was not the case here, he said. >> ifill: and as long as are you not required to pray, are you not forced to pray, then it's okay. >> well, this was another part of the challengers' argument. that these prayers were coercive because the res didn'ts who attended this meeting f they didn't adhere to the belief that was being part of the prayer, they were either forced to remain in the room or feign

participation in the pray certificate so as not to offend a member. town board whose help they might be soliciting during the meeting. >> ifill: so there is always another point of view this was a 5-4 ruling. there were clearly dissenters. some felt the court wasn't going far enough and some that they had gone too far? >> the dissenters agreed with the court that the 1983 decision upholding legislative prayer was right. however, they said that the prayers in this case did not fit the tradition that the court upheld in 1983. justice kagan said that these prayers were almost exclusively christian in nature. there was nofert on the part of the board to bring in other types of religions. and she also said that it didn't fit the pattern of legislative and congressional prayer because in those cases, the public is an audience, it's not participating in the proceedings on the floor.

but in the town of greece, the audience is participating. the clergy member is facing the audience. occasionally asks them to stand and join in the prayer and then the audience members who may not agree with this belief, are somewhat coerced to participate or feign participation. >> ifill: didn't they bring in people of other religions as well. >> this was interesting, the year that the suit was filed, right after the board did invite four nonchristian clergy persons to come and give prayers. but as the dissenters pointed out, even though the population in the town of greece is overwhelmingly cristian there was a buddhist temple and also there were jewish residents who went to synagogues that were right outside the borders of the town. so the dissenters felt that there was really no real effort here after the suit was filed to broaden who could come in and pray. but as you pointed out, yes, there was a concurring

opinion,. >> ifill: it went a dissent, i used the wrong term. >> justices thomas and scalia. >> justice thomas first of all repeated a long-standing belief of his that the first amendments establishment clause does not apply to the state. the states are local government because the prohibition he says if in the first amendment's text is on congressment congress shall make no law establishing or regarding the establishment of religion. and he said that probably prevents congress from establishing a fat -- >> probably. >> probably, and i use his term, probably am but he said -- >> but the text significance that congress cannot interfere with state establishments of religion. now where justice scalia did not join that part of thomas's opinion, but de agree with justice thomas on the coercion aspect of this. they would have required a much greater showing of

coercion order to strike down the type of fray prayer before a government body. >> ifill: as reaction among liberal grouches been that this is the beginning of a slippery slope? >> somewhat, yes. in fact, i knew today just immediately after the supreme courts ruling theres with a federal judge in maryland who lifted an injunction against a county commissioners in carroll county maryland that had prohibited their prayer practice. and now they can go forward. but i think ultimately local governmentses are going to breathe a little more easily after in decision. if they were wondering if their prayer practices would withstand a constitutional challenge. >> ifill: immediate impact, marcia coyle, thank you very much. >> you're welcome. my pleasure, >> woodruff: now we turn to our new series on the joys and challenges of "parenting now."

mothers, fathers and other caregivers, have long tried to successfully navigate this tricky terrain, full of age-old dilemmas as well as new questions. as parents' roles change, so too does the popular notion of the best way to raise children as marketing, technology and cultural shifts provide daily challenges, achievement gaps open between boys and girls, and child care costs rockets out of sight. we'll be looking at all these topics and more this week. judy gets us started tonight with this conversation she recorded earlier. >> that's typical family life. there's one snapshot when you get in the car to go on a family vacation and it's a different snapshot when you get out of the car on the family vacation. the good, the bad, the ugly. >> woodruff: to many moms and dads in this "p.e.p." or "parent encouragement program", that sentiment is all too familiar. these parents in washington, d.c. come together once a week with leader paige trevor. >> if you happen to be a piglet and your child is an eeyore, to

try to fix someone is not a good use of your parenting mojo. >> woodruff: parents share their joys, and their challenges. >> i needed to cool down after my girls were doing trampolines on the bed. >> at school, they are one thing. at nana's house, they are a different person. >> woodruff: the ups and downs of raising children are nothing new but in an era when both parents are often working and, in many cases, trying to figure out how involved they should be, this kind of help is much in demand. and, these questions are getting a fresh look in a new book by journalist jennifer senior titled: "all joy and no fun: the paradox of modern parenthood." a young mom herself, senior asked middle class moms and dads why is it that parenting seems more stressful than ever. one of the parents at the p.e.p.

session gave we asked some parents at p.e.p. for their take on modern parenting, deana o'hara and karen mazie: >> the new parent style is more of an intensive parent style. it's not laissez faire or one where children are expected to behave or to be seen and not heard. it's much more intensive, inclusive parenting style. >> woodruff: for teresa mason and sean epstein, the joys, and challenges, multiplied when they had twins, stella and lincoln, 17 months after having their first born, lila. teresa, a corporate healthcare attorney, and sean, a private equity advisor, say they are fortunate to have resources to make it easier. but they are still trying to figure out the right balance. >> most of the days, i feel like i'm getting it wrong. i mean there's always one that gets more attention you know whether it's the kids, the work or sean. i just always feel like i'm pulled in three different directions and i'm never enough for every single segment. there's no magic answer for every couple and the demands on each other's work and the demands at home depending what they are.

>> the daily challenges start very practically with the fact that it's almost impossible to get all three dressed. but getting them to school on time, getting yourself to work on time and figuring out which of the two of us is actually going to get the children. and then getting them all the way through bed. getting a few minutes to enjoy being married. getting some rest. doing the whole thing over and over again. >> woodruff: sean also notes he's concerned that the role of a parent has shifted: >> it seems like this generation is more concerned, from the parent's perspective, making their children happy on a constant basis. whereas i feel like generations previously, your goal was to try to make sure your kid had food, had shelter, a relatively safe community, let them out, go play, see you at dinner time, >> woodruff: smith, who most recently worked for a non- profit, believes a kind of competitive parenting has taken over, making it difficult to

dial back. that mentality, she says, combined with careers that dominate people's lives is a bad combination. with four year old, raven and another baby on the way, ayanna, who wants to return to work, said she and her husband have tried to refocus their family's priorities: >> i definitely was stretched too thin, not turning down any opportunity to volunteer in my community, and with friends and family. part of me actually got a rush out of just being overwhelmed with things to do, there's a lot of pressure on parents to feel that they're raising these perfectly well rounded children, and that can happen organically. they don't have to have every minute and moment of their day scheduled for them, and i'm not sure we're teaching them the best lessons by doing that. >> you might have to work on yourself this week. we ask a lot of our kids to be

independent, healthy, balanced. >> woodruff: many moms and dads we spoke to want to gain a new outlook in parenting: >> we take it on as another thing to understand and to conquer somehow. and so i'm here because i want to be insightful and contemplative and thoughtful about my parenting. because you do look at facebook and you do see their kid is reading, he's four. why isn't my kid reading the exact same book that he's reading, and so you put those pressures on. you have to remind yourself, you're unique. awe nor jennifer senior joins me now to talk about the challenges of modern parenting and the way it is evolving. thank you for being with us. >> thank you for having me. >> so the premise is that modern parents, modern families have undergone huge changes over ot last half a century. >> yeah. >> woodruff: stalk talk about what has happened. what changed. >> three things, i will be brief about them. but first choice. i know it seems very obvious to say. but we can now organize how

many, we can plan how many kids we have, we can space them apart according to our desires if we want to. back in pli utt mouth colony there were 8 kids flex 1950s there are five kids per family, imagine how much value we assign to each kid and assign to parenthood generally that we didn't before. also average age, let's see f are you middle class woman you have will a college education, you are odds are going to have your first kid at 30.3 years old. so just imagine how much free time you had before that. and how used to your autonomy you got. so that's a big kang. >> and the economy has done much better, many people are living better. >> yeah, they're living better than they used to so one hopes for happiness for one's kids an one hopes for a certain level of comfort for one's kids that one never did. kids now survive -- >> in the middle of all this the role of the child and

the way parents view their children has undergone a transformation. >> right. are you now isolating what i think is the biggest change. the biggest change is the role of the child. right until, right through the progressive era so right through let's say 1920, kids worked. and this is not a particularly ethical thing but it's how things are were. which means that effectively, they were kicking money into the family till and the more children you had, the better off your family was. they were economic assets. once we banned child labor, it sort of, everything inverted and we basically started working for our kids. because we now live in this world where it is very economically competitive. where incomes inequal sit expanding so if we want our kids to be viable and have the same chance at a middle class life, what do we do we drive them to tins, we check their homework, we drive them to suzuki violin, we do all these things.

>> we want their lives to be even better, better than they can be from what their parns lives were, at the same time moms are work. and you are right in traveling around the country about how much stress this is putting on the average middle income american family. >> yes, now you have named the third thing that i think is the biggest change. we work different and mainly mothers, the vast majority of moms are now in the paid workforce. so you would think we would have rules and scripts and norms for how to handle this between husbands and wives and we don't so the number one thing that husbands and wives fight about, not money, not sex, it's choirs. >> choirs around the house. >> around-- chores around the house. so just think about how much pressure is on this tiny couple when they're both working, odds are, they want to do as good a job as they can and cultivate their children as much as they can, women now spend more time with their kids than they did in the 1960s.

there is a fun fact. cultivate your -- >> and feel guilty about not spending more time. >> working women in particular think they are neglecting their children. their mothers who were not working were spending all of their time cleaning the house and making meals and stuff, keeping an impeccable house whereas now our houses are filthy according to the american-- to the survey but you spend time with your kids. >> which gets to the title, all joy, no fun. >> there is a lot of drudgery involved in this i think moment to moment there has been lot os of convincing evidence that shows that our well-being is compromised by the strains. >> and which gets to the deeper point here, jennifer senior, that somehow it's gotten out of whack for many of us in terms of the emphasis that we place on what we need to do for our kids. >> well, yes, i think actually one of the more peculiar outcomes in this situation is that we don't only feel like we need to cultivate our children and prepare them, you know, we don't know what the world is

going to look like so we drive them all over creation and do weigh can. but we also feel like we should be custodians of their happiness. that is a very recent development. an no-- less than benjamin spoke warned that american parents were going to try to do this he saw this he said there this isn't a good idea there is no curriculum for this. how do you make a kid happy. you should teach them how to do things and how to be good people. but happy? that's a very hard thing to teach. >> and so as i ask you what is the golden mean, let me also ask you as you say very candidly this is a book mainly about middle income, middle class americans, working class americans in a different situation? >> depends. i mean you know n some ways these are high-class problems. if you are going two and a half hours each way to your minimum wage job and trying to figure out where to put your child while you're working s that a problem, is

that a poverty problem or a parenting problem. if you are working class and have a steady wage, you are slightly above, i met working class parents and there is a couple in here who i profiled pretty extensively who feel the exact same immense pressures. and who have spent every last nickel on cultivating their kids. they don't have great child care options. where do you put your kid, in after school programs that cost you money. that's what you do. >> that is something for all of us to think about. the book is all joy and no fun, the paradox of modern parenthood. jennifer senior, thank you. >> thank you >> ifill: online, we have posted an excerpt from "all joy and no fun." >> ifill: again, the major developments of the day. an islamist militant leader in nigeria declared 276 kidnapped girls are now slaves, and will be sold.

fresh fighting erupted in ukraine in the eastern city of slaviansk, as government troops battled pro-russian separatists. and the c.e.o. of target was forced out, in the wake of a massive data breach during the holidays. on the newshour online right now, kevin powers, an iraq war veteran and the award-winning novelist of "the yellow birds," reads from his first collection of poetry, "letter composed during a lull in the fighting." read more about how he explores the consequences of war in our poetry series. and for college students about to graduate, 10 ways the class of 2014 can beat the financial odds. social security expert larry kotlikoff assigns outgoing students a very important, life- long assignment: taking control of your economic future. you can find that on our making sense page. all that and more is on our web site, newshour.pbs.org.

and again, to our honor roll of american service personnel killed in the afghanistan conflict, we add them as their deaths are made official and photographs become available. here, in silence, are two more. and that's the newshour for tonight. on tuesday, from playing princess, to toys designed to inspire tomorrow's engineers, our "parenting now" series continues, with a look at how to raise girls. i'm gwen ifill, we'll see you on-line, and again here tomorrow evening. for all of us here at the pbs newshour, thank you and good night >> major funding for the pbs newshour has been provided by:

♪ ♪ moving our economy for 160 years. bnsf, the engine that connects us. >> support also comes from carnegie corporation of new york. a foundation created to do what andrew carnegie called "real and permanent good." celebrating 100 years of philanthropy at carnegie.org.

>> this program was made possible by the corporation for public broadcasting. and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. captioning sponsored by macneil/lehrer productions captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org 

report" with tyler mathisen and susie gharib. brought to you by -- >> the street.com. shares your strategy, stock picks with action alerts plus. the multimillion dollar portfolio she manages with jim cramer. you can learn more at the street.com/nbr. >> in the bull's-eye. target's ceo is out. the board calls for new leadership following the massive cyber attack. how vulnerable are other ceos? >> too big to jail? the u.s. attorney general sends a warning to financial institutions. even the biggest banks are not too big to jail. and still going strong. at 83, warren buffett is a superstar for advice on everything from his company, the market and the business world. all that and