tv Outnumbered PBS February 15, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PST
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n: tnty-nine! ben, stop playing "st the chav" and sit do. i'm not teing u again. so thelag sn't flying over buingh palace, sohe qen's not there. that rig. so t queen's out wearing hs and shing nds with people. the qun's ring. the olden day kis anqueen's were mucbett. i an le, mary burnt ankill 500 people ich s why she was ninamebloody mary, bushe ould have been ninamesomething a bit like ashy mary orlamemary or body amey mary. ben, don't number 30! ben! can you spembarrassing me?! t do! thank you for vinge such wonderfulrandildren. ll, uh... i'm so proud kareis t in her class.
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i don't think thscho do class positio, acally sandra. but e hathat badge-- "firstn cls." ah, e made that. had to get her takit off 'cause it was causin a bit of friction withhe other kids... and the teachers.. d the parents-- everyone, actual. thty-t! and ben'so bght as well, and i love his attude. he justhro himself into everying.including septic tanks soy? oh, it's a lg sty. he d it for a bet. he w a cker. thfrench had some gat kgs li thene who thought he w madof glass. which one was that? king charl thead. whcan't we have somedy le that, dad? we, we might have soon. and there was also ng george the third. he was cool. he tked trees. whcan't we have sobodyike that? we, wel definitely have o of ose. ( groans ) what'sour oblem, jake? it's fliin' n out of batterythistupid phone. oh, yeah, it's so upid it forgot to plug selfn and recharge itsf. why doou nd a phone?
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so i can talto pple who aren't scast. what's this trip goto dwith world war two? this dayutis supposed to be resechin my world war two pject we, noentirely-- how am ioingo win if we don't go out anyere world war two-ish? this is nic chatting with yolikehis. you're more ke aister than a daughr-inaw. you' my best mate. thks. lien, e... i'd likeou thave this. i had some natial sings certificates d stf, so... the thousand pounds?! no, sara-- yocan use it to help t beand karen into agood state secondary. what, do you mn fotuition? no, no, you know. as a...donation. a bribe? wellisn't that how thin wor no! no, you haveo prend to be religis or lie about wre y live. ... and which are you gog too? ither!
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well, we did thinkbout the religion, but-- wellpetewas wrong. the rain's heloff. i said, "brenda, u should be as lucky ame. i've got the best ughter-in-law in the wld." ohlookt that. so wt can the queen do?can e tell her army tottacpeople? no. could she rn ptestants? noshe a protestant. n shsay who's on the rol vaety show? uh...no. wellthen that's unfair! what'she pnt in being queen youan't boss anybody abou well-- what would hpen the queen and e prime minister d a ght? well cotituonally, the prime-- no, nono, , no if there wasn acal fight beeen the queen anthe ime minister. i mean, she might old but she might beble to sti heringer in his onleye. what? i don'thingordon brown-- inome pictures, it looksike gordon brown's gottwoeyes. do thepainthe other one on? i thk if she's queen shshould be able to cp pele's heads off. the queen cat ju kill people. she killediana no, she didn't. well,
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her husbd di he didn't. you've beewatcng channel five ain haven't you? ... it's easg of let's get off he. this isn't trafalg sque. no, but it's cse eugh. karen, don runff! ( grns ) so your phone's dead why can't you justenjowhat we're doing? london is this amazinglace where all these amazgevents have happened.ye have happened. theye nohappening now. arthey histor-thetudy of stuff th's n happening anymore d yospend your life achi it. listen, sandra, um.. it's such lot money i'm gonna ve tdiscuss it with pet are you absotelyure thatan'skay with you givingt tos? ahyou ve talked to ian out , haven't you? , weaven't talked about it never really talkboutnything, to tell yothe uth. to bhonest the marria is ad. i suppe i ould divorce him allybut i can't face thpapeork. ben: forty-sen! peteben!
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your gray isreating us to thiday t, so don't spo it r everyone. te i specifically askedou notto leave me alone wityour mother. well, you're... u'reuch a good listener. yeahwell you need to lk ther, because she wants to ge us a check. ha on. we lost n alady. karen! die! e, aan, die! , go heree go aah, the lion eatg me! help! can you tell me, pleas at any of this has to do with world w two and my project? yeah, i id iwould take in elemts oworld war-- we haven't bn tang in any elemen of rld war two! well, trafgar uare was very imporntin world war two, kare en the war was over, lot of people came her celebrate d they had a big party and everne g drunk. and those on ovethere still havet go home. sorry? those drks or there.
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was... i was just.. never mind. hey, is your sleevwet? ve y been taking money t ofhe fountain? yes, do u wa me to get you se? no, i n't! well peoplehrowt in there-- yocan'take money that people ha put in the fountain 'cause it's not ur mey. that'she pnt. it's not theirs anore. no, it's the fountn's, and the fountaincat do anything if i takit.no, ose people put money-- ey're idiots. you're allowed toake ney from idiots. they put the money inhe fountain because they re ming a wish. a wi?!yeah, a wish. t why would you throw ney in some water to me a sh? well, don'know. it's just- look, mommy, i us to believe allishes and all th nonnse, but en mwish about ben and e hyas didn't come true hyen? you cannot take thatdeadigeon home with you. but it wouldea cool experiment. i'll seehichits decompose fit. ye youe already done thaexpement... with the dead crowthatour mom found
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in yr so drawer. the feathers laed longer than the fee and indeed longer th the drawer... whh wead to burn. wellif pple keep puttingoneyn, thent cod build up then all t wat could flow out and then it cod go down into the underoun well, that'sot gna-- then all the trainswodn't be able to go anyre 'causehey would just slide o. ren- and that would b the end of all london,and m preventing all th frohappening. kare ben! come on! gup st! me on, guys! ok, mime. ere'my shotgun? all right, linup.still, mom looks lik she's having a good ti. she's just told me r marriage is dead. dead? ah, she said that she d your dad don't lk amore and thathe mriage is dead. is that righ it's awful, n't ? ll, knew that her and dad han't connected for a whe, bui didn't-- she mu be eling miserable.
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yoneed to talk to her. me? no, , i n't think i should. i an, i can't talk to he out personal things... she's my mom. so when i say "now," could you ise ur hat please? no, i han't id "now." i ven't said "now." it, it. you're gonna have toave a conversation with r anay. why? she wants toive a check for three ousa pounds. three thousand pnds? dad! dad! i'm rit, an't i, dad? there are four lnsaround nelson's column because nelsonad fr lions on his shi and that's why he wo e war of trafalgar. no, i thk neon's chances of wiing e battle of trafalgar would have bnsignificantly reduce hathere been lions chginground the deck of s viory. no, cause like instead havg canon balls in t cans, heouldave big circus cans. circ cann... he could put lns ithem and en hcould fire them on thether ship. so if-- anthenhe lions would eat eryby, and they wld le rip through the oor ards and they'd rip the ptaito shreds,
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d they'd end up stringhe boat themselves. the ons would drive the sh? d then he'd have to bu other four lions from rica and ese were the surviving os. the onze ones. so did nelson vefour lions or what? nothe lions represt enand. wh?lions aren't englishnima! how ma tim have you seen a bilion sitting in a yorkshi fie? neon suld have four engli anils li a frog... or a badr... or cow. they're not very hoic, though, are they? or you could helike a big lion, d th it's eating a half cow y? 'cause the lionsre cl, but en ihas to be english. yeahbut- you gotta make it alisc. right. wait, mae yo could have a chick being ten by a tasmanian devil so a chickenisrying to escape om aasmanian devil?
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yeah. to snifyhe glory of the btle trafalgar. there could e tasmanian devil arina little admiral hat st to show it was nels. so y've got a statue a tmanian devil in an admira hat eating a chicken? wellthat the problem of theourtplinth solved. ay, 'd better shift. the me'surning nasty. mime: you've got to pame! ( bell rings ) have you tried lking to ian about--oh, . the talking stped metime around 1993,'m aaid, anoncehe talking stops everythi goequiet in the bedro deptment... not that i wasver james bond beten t sheets. you ve to talk to pete out . you know aring can help sometim. no, shing st makes more peoplmiseble. andownhere behind that g serity gate and thbarrrs at's where our prime miste cowers in numberen. if nber e's a wee and numb two a poo i would hate to anywhere near a numberen. well maybit'sive number two's.
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ew! brings a wholeew mning to "the primminier's in number te" it's just brlian isn't it? we're sat here laughinabou poos and wees on our wayo sowhere where nothg's ppening any more. look, justhangthe record. dad,o onhas records anymore,you upid idiot. don't call me idi, jake. i hate days t. e muums do your feet in,anthe kids do your head . kneel before me, py moals! ben! shh! come dow the pageou wt is always missin her and th galry. she's turning this into bloody route march. sohat was modern art? yes, darli. it was rbish well... ere was bits of carpet stk to the walls... therwas just some painting.. that's quite ieresng. a globe a fdge. ll, mething like that mean ook at what we're doin" it's a globe ia frge. i know buit'suite a clear... prestation of global waing.buthey've got a lit onn that globe
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which is actlly making it worse, i't i only in the gle,'cause the fridge isn'on. it doesn't even lo goo ll, i agree with you, ren, it's not proper ar nolikehe pictures we s in e national gallery. well, the nationalalle was rubbish, too well, what aboutthlovely van goghs? ey were all wigglyanhe should have go oveit and the starswerell wiggly and sprouty.it w like he was crazy somhing. and it had nothing tdowith world war two! she wasn impssed with any of it tuer-- too blurry monet-- o spty reubens--too ny fat girls rembrandt-- not oughats. this pri is ridiculously small. so what arwe sposed to spend thithrethousand on? i dot kn originally it waa dotion to get karennd b into a good school a ibe? well, jenner'som made a large datio to the new churchall but she didn't get jenfer into the church schodid she?
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no, she di that's w ere was that big fight between her and e re christian moms picup time. god, that was embarrasng.ben d his mates standi in big circle chantingbitcfight." so is toelp with the kid'sducaon? i n't ow. you have to asher. ben! off! hello, is worng again? no. en w are you texting? you' hitting the keypadli you're texting. ye, i'sending the texts at iould be sending if my dad dn'tade me come somewhe whe i can't recharge mphon you think maybe you'vgot an addiction to mole pnes? do youhinkaybe you've got anddicon to being a prat? hey, cut it out! geoff case then! you shouldn't sa"pra" jake. i notn your case! it's badord, like "tosser." yeah, all right, karen you are on my case! "pillock." yeah. ortwan." lookokay, karen. or "piuk." okaykaren, that is nothatelpful. look, ja-- it's n my ult you're in a bamoodokay? m not in a bad mood.yes,ou are! you're alwayin arappy mood when gras arnd!
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that's theousef commons where thgovement makes the law. so-- and which was mbed in world war two, kan. how do they deci which laws to make? welltheyead the daily mail ando what it says. how do they cide who's prime minist? well, there'an ection, and everyoneoteso decide. sos the like lots of peoe, and then they say, he lines are now open, anthen they say, "o i'vhad a terrible life,anmy family's died"? it doe't wk entirely like th, no and then you vote fall the annoying one until there is jt onleft and then they "boo-hoo, boo-hoo, m soappy i'm prime minier n," and starts crying. i think u'reonfusing democracy d e x factor. ben! stay with us! don't go wderi off with any largeroup you don't even kwwhat a tamil is,
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t alone what they'redemotrating against. they gave me a tangene. they wernice than the hare krhnas well, i don't wa to e you disappearingrouncorners shoutingdeatto" someone. karen: it's fair that we don't get vot yove g to have people ov 18 ting cause they know about thworld you see in aay tt you don't. ah, but young peoplewoulknow who are good, and older people tnk "oh, oh, ah, m noquite sure," ke granddad would thin that the ugly peopleargood singers. b you're talking about factor again. old people'srain are all shrivele and not so good, but e, younger people ha more big, juicy inteigent brains that know lots anit's unfair. well, youe so clever, who wod yovote for as prime miste mon cowell. young, juicy brains. hey,en, ere's a couple! hey, i told you sto that chav.spottingame. we're no now we're spotting lesans. what?! you can't do at. there's nothing wrg wi it. now u're being "lesbianist
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i am not lesbian esbianist." well, u shldn't be prejudic agast fat people, th peoe... i'm not! mewho rned into women, men o turned into men, gay people, gingereopl.. karen... ople who come from livpool i'm not. i'm just simy sang don't shout "lesan" them in the stree anyway stefs mos a lesbian, and shs rely nice. no. karen, no. shs lenese. she's from lanon well, still if she w... god, jake is reall king lumps out of me tay. dot leit get to you. it's part ofrowi up-- challenginhis d. it'like big cat diary, en the young male kes on the patriarchankicks him out of the pde.nothat you're going to g-- i need a wee. ybodelse? . bagsy i go first. you reallyon'teed any money. todas myreat. ok, inou go. yeah, well, that verkind but i'm alout cash.
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well, that's fine, 'cse you don't need any.ben, not so close. ben... why? because peop at sh points don't wa oth people knowing thr pinumbers. bui castill see it fromack re. ( sis ) ben... t i'not a robber so it's okay l rit. i'm not gonna te anye that her numbes 45. ben! sorry. he hasxceponal eyesight. ter, all day long my eat. welltomorrow follows today wellwhat's it matter i kw her number? because only the pson with the card is alledto know the number. but i know younumb is 3937. oh, r god's sake, ben! is iridiculous! dad, calm down. yore embarrassing us. i'm embarrasng u? do y know, i am sick d tid of being earraed in public placesy yolot. karen, iaid it! youind?! let's just tohms belfast, all ? there, i've bought u google earth on my mobe,
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and can use gps to pt ouroute. or wcould just use our eye and look for a bloody eat ip in the middle ofhe rer. ( sh horblows ) dad, i'm gonna bw up that big building er tre. well, lots of bankers wo there, so no one'll md. ng on, are you allowed toe up there? um... no, i don't ink am. well, get down then. me on. what doe hmbelfast have to witworld war two? well 's a large fighting sh of world war two whichas been turned inta muum about world war o. it's all aboutworlwar two? well, viuallall, yeah. ll, which bits aren't? wellthe's just a tiny bit abt whatapped to the ship afr thend of the war. i n't nt to see that. ok, fine. 'cause i want to winthe ize on best projecton wld war two. well, what is thpriz it's a tp onhms belfast. t we're on-- mom, i need to wee.
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now. ben! co down off that mast! thiss a disabled toilet. it's illegal to goin aisabled toilet. no, it's not illegal the les y that you can't usthe sabled loos unless y're sperate, because deeratn is a temporary form disability. so in yocome okay. if you want to find ouabou what happened inorldars and stuff, just ask the peoplewhwere there. well, we tried tha th granddad and thkore war but kares cls probably won't wt toear abt thfight in the broth in oul. who diwe fht in the korean r? t do! we were fighting e noh koreans and thchine, bugranddad spent mo of s time fighting arica. anthe oody navy. s, a the bloody navy. and at big prozzie who at ihis rum. knew i shouldn't have le you alone with him. don't touch at! where's gran?ishe avoiding us?
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( knock at door ) someone's waitg, mmy. ren, do not open t doo aah! young n.yeah? can i showou sething? do that hard. that hurts, esn'it? no ll, it would do ifou bged your head. , i ied it with my headarli. that didn't hurtithe right. well, just bearef. don want anyone gettinhurtere, do we? it's a warship. santhe scharnhorst. we, ali'm saying is thatetti hurt isn't cool. you dot ha kids, do you? ( knock at door ) ah, l right! can't you see it's eaged ( knocking continues ) alrigh mommy,hy a you limping? shif karen.
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t why are you limping? e, nazi scum, die! imiting gunfire and plosns ) sendhoseermans to hell! imiting gunfire and plosns ) okay, ben. comen, o you come. come on no i coulsink that kraut submarine ( spkingerman ) all ahead funumber one. all ahead full l ahead full. torpedo the starboard bow, si torpedo on the starbrd b! rd to port! hardo po! myod, 've been hit! ( imitating plosns ) what the damage, smuggler? i'm afraid she'soingown. mayday! mayday! abandoshipabandon ship! ( itatg emergency alarm )
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clea throat ) ben! ben, mom says u ha to come downstairs. but it was h! ben, baracobam does not drive a nber bus. he's theeade of the free world, hean do what he wants. how am i suppo to n the prize for st pject on world warwo if you won't take metounkirk? ohdunkirk is in belgium. look, eethrt winning isn'everhing. no one can win all theime. ll, can. i can smell cces in my sweat. ( sis ) karen, i've ld y the apprentice is not a suitable sho for a seven year old. god,hat's ben up to now? i ve tt do-or-die spirit herdon't you? i'm nosurehat doing or dyi is tirely necessary a sen year old. are u and gran going torgue of course no darng. when have evedone that? when gn sa you should get job the
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private sector. look, can u ju-- at ithe private sector?kare can you-- sighs ) ben, mom says come dowtair imitating gunfire and plosions ) aah! thank you fothe fer. it is very kind, but w just don't need your mey.they're doing fine ascho. we just want tm toe happy. i nt them to be happy, of urse i do, t araverage people happy? is this aboume? everythingisn'about you, peter. i very nearlmade head of history la yea well, th's trific. who d? look, mom, we just don-- you said y woun't argue. ones having an argument. we're vingn argument. no, 're t. but i think we're havi an gument and you think thate'reot that's argui. yosee? very bright. bui'm lling you, it was rlly m. ben, arew oyd webber would t beoing through a lier b.
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w do you know? maybe he wrote a song anthen chucked it awayby aident. if only. n, don't wander off! u may be faster than m er a short distance, but u can't keep it up. yes, i candad. can sprint for y loer than you. no, u can't. yes, dad. pete bicat diary. right,aren come on, eryon let's get gogbefore rush hour. ben and couterdon't mix. go! oh, for god's-- uh, sue, trble ewing. oh, wellif hwants to give hihis ney, that's up toim.i thk he's trying to b hisog. ohno.no, ben! ma oy! idiot! sue: oh, god. ( woman screams ) daddy just knked over that woman. all i'm saying-- d i've said it agn anagain-- is don't run off like at. but you shouldn't ve bn rude about my prect. yes, well-- you said "i he shcomes last with herloodproject."
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we--that's what you said. yes. okay, here's one f you you' adrift in a lifeboat wi granddad, simon cowel gordon ramsay,andavid tennant. right. which e wod you eat first? t fit? because you're strand,and you can't get out. u'ren a big sea which s eltrified water. but you oute look, i'm sorry i shted, but you shldn' have run away likehat. yogaves a terrible fright.weouldn't find you. well, that's becau was hiding. s, b it's not kind to-- but m on seven and i'm stl lening but yoshou have learnt to keeyouremper by now becausyou'... whatever age y are en w are you going to eat? no options? , apt from death. gordon ramsay? and w wod you kill him? uld u electrify him? at, in the sea? ye, you could go... ( mas buzzing sound ) ok, the important thinis you musteverun away.
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anyou must never shout ame. okay, look we, hoabout this? i wi do best not to shoutt yo d i' do my best not toun ay. yep, that's ri-- no, hang on. karen? which bit ofordoramsay would you t fit? um... the fattt bi i'd eat his nose 'cause it's really, rely b and it would last ufor about a week, so we're dining off goon ramsay's nose. so, you'retrand in a lifeboat, you n't get out, you cideto kill gordon rsay, chopff his nose, grilit ielectrified water, thenat it. yep. one time it had th bate in a storm, ye anit sank this german sh and is german ship haa cr of a thousanmen or something t stl all but 30 of them ke, died. yeahbut it was crap. a really crap storical day out.
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what what?! te.. i know we said no toour mom's money, but i've been thinki. maybe we should gethem a bit of tuition. maybe we shoulbepushing them a bit mor karen doesn'needushing. she needs reraing... maybe witheg-ins. i me, obously we don't wanto beushy parents. we don't want to be unushy parents. maybe we cou be rents who just pustheichildren... uphill all of life'uphi isn't it? hos your hamstring? ohit's fine. do you know something happened to right thend there just wn ja-- streaked past you. pete, u argonna have a talk tyourom about the whole ad mriage thing, aren'tou? wh wou it achieve? i mean, i n't nd marriages. i'not isha. you don'have to achieve anything. you just he toe sympathetic and- ben's theoo but he's runut opaper. alright, i'll get himome.you o can just sit downand ve a nice chat. it's fine. i kn where it is. no, no, i'd raer g but i'm very happy tdo i sandra, ll g
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you o ju sit down and have nicnatter. so. how's dad? fine. how are you d da ne. ne. mom. cup ofea? peter, i'd realllikeou to take this mey d spd it on anything a hoday or something. i know you' a b short and-- but 's n like you've got lds omoney. ke it, please, as fav to me. it important. mom, is sothinup? erything's fine, and itl beven better if you te thmoney. something is up, isn it? he ss thpink paper's too rly, so he'll heto have kitchen pape i'll take it. ♪
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