from san jose university you're watching equal time. giving equal time to competing points of view. >> welcome to san jose state university and this edition of equal time. i'm your host journalism school director. it is a problem stthat many couples face. but the solution is fafrom simple. more women want to do it and

donate and portray these young women -- [indiscernable] -- and humanitarian gesture. it's really hard to make something like going into the doctor every day and blood tests and checking yourself for hormones, feelingbloated, huge ovarian hyperstimulation. but these y hard websites are just questioning it -- [indiscernable] witthat and donation [indiscernable] -- so any donation really is the nasty secret of

profitability. >> we know a fair amount about the hyperstimulus drugs at can call the life threatening condition. but we actually don't have good long-term data on the set of drugs that shut down or suppress ovian function before you have the controlled hyperstimulation. the most common drug that's been used has been pon which wasn't approved by the icfda. there's a couple of other drugs that do serve this purpose and the odo have fda approval but not with any long-term safety and we're calling for better data collection so that we don't risk the health of young women who arehealthy at this point but who knows what will

happen. [indiscernable] >> they do not let clinics know they have done it. >> this is what we would do in the classroom. so first, a woman has the responsibility to say i would like to donate eggs but for what reason. so what's the intention? what is her intention? we would look at that. is her intention good or does she want to get paid. it doesn't made if she gets paid that it's necessarily bad. what is her intention? ctainly you would talook at what is the intention of her tion. when we come back. we'll give you the posive

side of egg donations. that and more wn t etialquime returns al welcome back. some couples will do anything to have a biological child and

they will arguth>>at it's worth it. a look at the positive side. >> a friend of ours offered to be our egg donor. we're about three weeks away from an egg retrieval and embryo transfer. this is my first shot at treatment but it's been a really long winding difficult journey. we're incredibly grateful and lucky to have a friend who is able to step forward. t am constantlywrestling with everything she had to go through -- is he going to be okay with all of that. because i have seen the bags of needles that are shipped to her house and, y know, she's my friend. and i know she is doing this incredibly generous giffor us and i want

to make sure that she is okay too. and i know that that -- well, in thgreater context of r infertility and assistive reproductive technology, i know that's a concern how egg dons are treated d what support systems are in place for them as well before and after retrieval and all of that. so whi feel like i go out of my way to make sure that she is okay and taken care of and that she has a positive experience as we hope to have. >> there isn't any procedure that has no risk. egg donation is a very important option for some couples or families to have children. there are a lot of different ways of building families and this is a very attractive

option for a number of patientsf because it does allow the woman to carry the pregnancy. a lot of women feel li they want to go through that experience. it also is less co licated legally than adoption sometimes. s andif the woman has a parer then there is a genetic link to this child. to sherriff's office there are a lot -- so there are a lot of potential benefits and it does allow women to have children that would not otherwise be able to do so. ll meet a woman considering we tment y d learn about the psychological baggage that egg donaticadid onrry when equal te rernditu

welcome back to this edition of equal time. r focus is on egg donation,

pros and cons. let's meet ouguest. >> all right. i'm a psycho therapist and fertility counselor and egg donor recipient. >> hey i'm currently seeking infertility. >> i am the producer and reporter of othis story and i' chemistry major here at san jose state university. >> we thank you for being here today and recognize this could be a rather personal and sensitive topic but we thank you for coming in to talk about this in candid terms. i think theudience would probably wonder, if we started with you we would ask you to share e y did y ou elect to do this or cwhy are you trying to do this? >> beyond the tv show or. >> being the recipient of an egg donation. >> i'm considering it because i ha struggled with it since i

was done. i have pcos. it's hard to get pregnant hwhe you don't have a normal ovulation cycle so it's definitely something that would be on a topic list for us. so we can have children of our own. >> i have a cousin who has that experience and didn't thhave th option years ago so it is an opportunity for you but doctor it's not unusu. i would imagine you see people. >> that's right. many people come in with that diagnosis and they don't know beforehand that something is wrong. i they go to a specialist, get the diagnosis and then they realize, okay, going to cause trouble to have children and so ong they go. >> if i may ask yoagain, your husband, youave talked this through with him. y can you share with us what is the conversation like when about this i

process. >> i think at the beginning it was -- i knew about the diagnosis and told him about it. he is willing to do anything he can. she 11 years older than i am so there's an age difference there like to have kids sooner rather than later and i think he is willing to do whatever we need to do to have our own children. and we'll exhaust all of thoseoologists before we get into being an l egg donor recipient. >> this is anemotional experience for everyone involved. am i correct. >> that's correct. >> how would you say the emotions are managed. >> you know, that's ota really important question because y there are special techniques that when you start on this journey, you learn stress reduction techniques and then there's thera such as acupuncture, all are designed

to help keep the stress levels low and medication and yoga, all of those philosophies really come into play. >> very good. is there ever a sense though that people have a strong starting point of feeling inadequate and not being able to do what everybody else seems to be able to do so naturally. >> absolutely. this is called a crisis. your very existence is brought into question because you're supposed to have children and often in today's age, the struggle is to set up a home, finances it, complete school, you don't worry about having children because that's meant to happen. so yes, there's a lot of shame associated with infertility and programs like this are supposewo to help reduce the shame. >> i'm going to bring jc into the conversation in just a moment. i want to follow up on that real quick. did your husband have any concerns like that. i know men that have gone through this process in my lifetime with their wifes and shame was a major concern for

the man. >> i think that the emotional side of that >hasn't come into play yet. he is still very willing to continue doing what we're doing and lookg at all the options. and i don't really necessarily think that shame came into g it because i'm the one with the infertility issue currently. so the blame is not on him. i know that a lot of the times they say it's a third the women, a third the men and a third both of you have infertility issues, but right now it's not something that i think he's feeling any shame about. and he shouldn't. >> very good. we appreciate at. >> i just want to know like, you saben fits atare, you help out a family and stuff but personally like you, besides getting a child, did you feel like the person that helped you out? did you ever want to keep d touch with them knowing that they helped you out in that sort of a way. >> no but i think about at

am to and how grateful i them that they went through the process with me. the medical procedure itself is something to be marveled at. even though they don't know each other and will never meet but theibodies are put into cycle with each other so she can donate her eggs and i will receive them and even though you don't know that person you do think about them and of course they're going to be part of youlife in some way for the rest of your life. >> so emotionally on you, did you ever feel likeyou wanted to reach oulito them? you just felt like the feeling wasn't mutual. >> no, there are strict guidelines to make it feel comfortable and safe for everybody but so that you know that i -- as a recipient you will never meet the donor and the donor will not meet you. you go in with that mind set so i never the wish to meet but i did have good thoughts toward her.

>> what about people that may want to reach out to those people? is that there that type of option. >> not all donors are anonymous. some may be friends of the family so of course then they're known and they do t to meet. >> have you t thought through that process of the donor, where that would come from. >> i personally -- i would want to know them. because. >> i know that it would be hard for me to make that decision. it would be a very difficult choice because those eggs are a part of you. they uld have your dna. a t of traits, not only physical but emotional personality wide are carried through to your children. of course i want buo meet them

and see if any of those traits are present in my child. >> is there a potential tug of war in that some remorse by the individual donor? you would say maybe i shouldn't have done this or i wish i thought about this more? u are there any concerns about that. >> rtainly some women >>have buose concern and thoughts t the pro or itself is set up that they're counseled well beforehand as to what it's going to be to actually go through the experience and an psychological factors that may come up for them. so they're really prepared before they go in to understand all the ramifications and implications for themselves. >> i would be -- if i were the person tting there with my wife or someone tttrying to be support, i would have a lot of questions and then probably ask my spouse or partner what is it that we're tryong to accomplish here and is tthis really the wa we want to do it. are there people who actually

as asthat questions? >> certainly that's why uethey come into session. several rounds have failed for them. and egg donor is the last option open to them. so usually by that time what they want is a baby. so they're more open to it and it's something that you have to be open. so you don't start with i want egg donati. you go through several steps to try and have nayour own baby an when that doesn't work, then you to face, well, what are my options, adoption or egg donation. >> so it's a process. it's not something entered into real quickly. it's something that is emotionally involved and there are physical concerns. >> it's going through a procedure. it's a surgery and you have to be resting for two days after and then because withe what attracted me to this topic is when i e see adds for egg donor it's thousands of dollars i give out and i wonder if these

people take into account those risks. they go into counseling and they are well prepared. you have people that come in and then realize after i probably shouldn't do this? this probably isn't what i want to do. >> i really like it when people come into my office as an egg donor and struggle with it. that it's not just the money or it's not just okay sure i can do this. this is going to pay for next semester or i have a friend going through this. i like it when people come in with those deep questions is this right for me? what will it actually involve because then they're really anying about if process. it's not e?for everyone to be a egg donor. >> when you were thinking about this as well did you come in with a lot of questions or how did it come your mind that you wanted to go this route. >> i haven't really reached my decision yet to whether or not i want to i through it. i'm in the prelim tear stages

of trying to go through it trying to find out whmy diagnosis is going to work and what's not. medication is the d first step. that's what i am currently doing. i really hope i can have my own children. should we donate an egg or should we adopt? th would definitely be a struggle to come to a clear decision on whether or not even that is right. we shouldn't have troublethat all. >> for those of you that have actually been through the process and are very successful in the process and you're considering the process right now, do you worry abt the end abossibility of the donor being difficult to deal with, not wanting to be ose person in the life of the person that you hoped for. or do you keep an open mind through the whole process? how are you thinking through this. >> i'm not thinking that it

woule be a problem if the donor didn't want to be a parof my child's life. that would be okay. i have a very supportive family and loving phusband and the whole goal is to have our own children right so. if there was a third party that was involved in that, it would b be okay if they weren't involved because we have our own family swept plenty of support. >> some confusion that the egg represents the embryo and that isn't necessarily the case. the egg donor donates her eggs. the eggs are then taken, the sperm and fertilized with the sperm to create an embryo. the embryo when it divides into cells at three days thor five days is placeed into the moth. mo the mother then carries full term for nine months. so the embryo is different from

the egg. it is the baby itself. so. >> so a woman donor s a role in this obviously but it's another process before we actually reach the stage. >> right. exactly. the egg is not the same in the sense that it's not a baby. it cannot be a baby unless it is formed which requires the bale donating the sperm. >> exactly. >> and then that has to be placed iexide the mother for the baby to grow. so that's often a confusion for egg donors in terms of am i the mother. no you're not the mother because it requires further steps to be the mother. >> right. and basically after three days sit inside the mother thwh grows ad provides it. essentially you donated your eggs and you're not the mother which is different. >> so the woman that provide the egg for you, have you been

able to develop a relationship. >> no because it was an anonymous donation and the contract was set out that way. she knew beforehand and i knew beforehand. >> is that normal. >> most cases it is anonymous donation. >> really. so you're aware of that and you're okay with that. i suspect there are people out there watching us saying it seems to be the best way to do it. very clinical, seems to be a good process but there's a little concern that mabe i'm being left out of something that i provided someone. that i helped someone do this. let's say you chose a friend to be a donor they might feel a desire to want to be there. >> in the child's life. >> have you thought about that. >> so both -- well, my sister is -- has her own chd and has offered to -- if it ever came to that point, be a surrogate or also, you know, donate eggs and that would be ideal only because it's the same bloodline

and, you know, i would know we share a lot of similar traits, not necessarily personality but physical straits so that would be great because i think that i would have -- be more like i throw have a child that looks like me. i think that it would be nice that she would be in their life. it would be a stronger bond as an aunt. but i do agree with you that a with uld be easier to deal but personally i would always wonder what she looked like. i do. i really do [indiscernable] >> physical risks, surgical procedure and en like emotionally as well and then i

just anant to know like how are they matched up? is there a risk with this person that was doing their eggs and there's a health issue with them thsu don't even know and is there a risk that t that could carry on with the child? the whole matching up process and athis sometimes going -- >> in terms of messing up, [indiscernable] -- there are agencies that will match both parties involved and then you will talk with the taff. the staff will get back branch inn,rmatio they'll take a family history, medical history and then you'll meet with the doctor. the doctor will perform a physical exam to see that you can actually go through the process as well at you'll have your blood taken for screening. d and at that point, if there a ing -- if you have any thayou're completely unaware th of you should probably get some

counseling and guidance as to what your condition is. but you probably couldn't go through the process. but those kinds of screenings and you fully understand the process, you then meet with a psychologist who will then take you through the process in terms of are you ready. personality quizes to get to know you better and see that you will carry through this important process. there's a lot involved and then you'll meet with a genetic counselor who will then go over the details of what exactly the procedure is and what it means to donate your eggs and how that is different from embryo donation. >> is there any concern, though, that that might miss some sort of health issue? something in the family history that maybe was not discussed or not testing for. >> sure. thernois a lot of trust involved. and you're going to have to disclose your medical history and that's based on your

knowledge, that's based on your family. great isaunt'sknowledge, we're all relying on nowadays so som things may be missed of course but generally you can get a lot of that medical history cause it's kept on file. >> very good. as you hear all of this,i'm sure people are wondering, are you gettinnervous, do you really want to do this? what are you thinkins, >> i'm thinking that it would definitely be something i would consider because the benefit o doing egg donation verses adoption is that i would have an opportunity to carry a child and a lot of having a child is going through 9 months of pregnancy. it's something i have always wanted to give birth to a child and it's scary to think d about the actual birthing process but having a person inside of you i think is a feeling that cannot be matched. so i -- it would be a consideration.

>> we're looking at this in a very scientific practical approach. let's get to the bottom line before we run out of time. you have a healthy baby now. talk to us about that? we have been talking abo the process and the clinical part of it. what does it really mean? i've seen a picture of him when he waabout to 8 cells and i've watched them grow and grow into a baby and now a toddler and he is a miracle. and that miracle could t have happened t without the help of donor. >> wonderful sharing of information about something that sometimes our society we consider a little too sensitive to talk about but the purpose of equal time is to give an opportunity to talk about these sort of things. and also throughout the area. any final tughts? i know ui promised not to make you emotional about it. are you feeling okay about it. >> i'm feeling great about it.

this was a helpful discussion. >> thank you fodoing this. you're not a journalism student but maybe i can talk you into it. you did a wonderful job with it. we thank you for joining us with this editionf equa o time. come on back, we have equal topicswe'd like to share with you at equal time