tavis: good evening. from los angeles, i am tavis smiley. author to her impressive list of credits. intory lately told, coming ireland, london, and new york. it details growing up in an irish castle, daughter of john houston. a conversation with angelica houston, coming up right now.

>> and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. tavis: oscar winning actress angelica houston is part of a legendary film dynasty and she chronicles the first 20 years of her exceptional up ringing in her memoir, a coming-of-age. she is daughter of acclaimed director john houston and granddaughter of oscar actor walter houston. angelica has carved out an impressive acting career of her own including her oscar-winning directed by her father as

well as roles in the addams family and lonesome dove. it is an honor to finally have you on this program. >> thank you so much, tavis. got thisen i first book, which is a good sign, i stared at the photo on the cover. can you push on that? -- the eyes are the window to the soul. what is in your soul that day? your eyes are so expressive. >> i was new in new york. i just met the man i was going to spend the next four years with. my mother had recently died. so i think there was a lot of sadness in me at that time.

and also new beginnings. i was young. you say sadness, but given her your father was, your grandfather and lineage, what is who hasr a white girl been raised in the environment that you were raised in to be sad about. motherd lost my recently. it was a very deep sadness for me. something i think you don't really recover from at any age. at 17, it was a huge thing for me. and i was virtually alone at this point. offather kind of disproved my penchant for a lot of eye

makeup. i dress like a hippie. i liked to go to rock 'n roll concerts. pretty -- illy thought i knew what i wanted at the time. i don't know that i really did. i felt very lonely at that time. tavis: tell me about your mother. it is impossible to read the book and not feel for her. mum, as yout your put it. answer -- about id ballet dancer and grew up in new york. tony had a speakeasy during the war.

his wife was called angelica and she died when my mother was four years old. up with theew intention of being a ballerina and was dancing for jerome robbins. member ofe youngest the new york city ballet when she was 14 or 15. there are a number of .owerful and poignant stories a message is sent to your father when he is on a movie set. i will let you tell the story. but i will ask you about the story. how your dad finds out about the birth of his daughter. my dad was making the african

queen in uganda. and nobody went on location in those days. everything was done in the studio. it is an unusual thing for a big studio to allawi film directed totake an a-list cast -- allow a film director to take an a-list cast down there. was tabled to the township where a barefoot runner ran for three days through the jungle and finally arrived at my father's location. my father read the telegram and put it in his pocket. what does it say? it's a girl, her name is angelica. tavis: when you heard that story, how did you process that?

your father getting the cable and just putting it in his pocket. a master of was understatement and you like to drive people crazy. everyone was saying, what has happened ? it was typical of my father to prolonged attention a little bit. have beenuspect you asked the question of how you found your own voice in the shadow of john houston. yourhere is a story about father directing you in something that you didn't really want to be in. there are a lot of people i imagine who would love the opportunity to get a leg up. and you were reticent about that. critics slammed you after you did it. .ell me more

and thereoy in that is discomfort trying to negotiate that? >> it was a difficult time because as we sort of discussed, he wasn't too crazy about the fact that i was chasing the rolling stones and wearing a lot of makeup. we had differences of opinion over this. i illustrated myself as wanting to be an actress. there was a school search going on for romeo and juliet. i had been asked to come back a couple of times by the producers. my father had been offered a three picture deal. it seemed like a great idea.

part of a young girl in war-torn france, very romantic. i thought it was incredibly corny. and aed to be juliet situation that i did not know anyone so i could invent myself. my father wanted me to go to france. we wound up in liechtenstein and austria. i did not want to be in austria with my father. telling me what to do, basically. i went into this film and i wasn't any good in it. he was insistent and i was

stubborn. we were not hitting it off. the reviews were simply terrible. that was good. it was my personal vindication. tavis: i told you i would be bad. >> yes. so i didn't work as an actress for five or six years after that. juxtapose how that story turns out being directed -- >> it was a very different state of affairs. it is a great supporter of mine. at a certain point, he offered

me a part called ice pirates. it was a b-movie at mgm. and i had fun making that little film. i read this wonderful sunny book and i read it overnight. gecko i wanthink your father to direct jack nicholson who happens to be my boyfriend at the time, to star.

why? that point, if your bread is buttered, why not take advantage of it? for the most part, my difficulties -- yes. they were obstacles. i wanted to earn things myself. if i have had a struggle, that is really the nucleus of my struggle, i think. >> it sounds like a segway for a line that i want to get to that jumped out at me on page 175.

a story lately told. here is that i was no exception to this fortunate rule but i remember wishing i had something to fight for. that i hadwishing something to fight for. tell me more about that line and how you navigated this journey? >> the idea of being given things that you don't necessarily deserve was always a difficult one for me to negotiate. and so i really felt that i really had to prove myself. being the daughter of a famous man is more easy than being the daughter of a famous woman. but at the same time, there was a sense of wanting to earn my

own way. of wanting to pay my own way. never asked my parents for money. i prefer to steal from my parents then ask them for money. can i tell you? i am an odd creature. definitely, when i was growing being from the source from which all things positive or negative came -- i wanted very much to be my own person. i was stubborn, obstinate, and i had to acquiesce. but i wanted it my way. when you are the child of that kind of privilege and you

i wantat kind of access, to go back to the story you told who reached out to you and gave you an opportunity because, as you put it, he was a supporter of yours. as opposed to people hanging on and trying to get access for no reason. how did you decipher the two ge? the distinction between people genuinely interested in you because of who you were and those that were trying to use you for access or whatever? awarenessa really bad of that possibility. i don't really have an awareness

of people crawling on my back to get anywhere. any help that i can get for , takingople outside offerings from my father. i think the cabbie ought was that i had to give something back. i did not like that position. anyone felt incumbent on to keep them lifted or support them, necessarily. by wish or by option. i can make the argument pretty easily for why you would go in the direction that your grandfather and father were already rooted and steeped in.

that why go in that direction? you are invariably inviting comparison and the critique that angelica got this because her daddy was -- why not do something different gecko why be somethingt -- different? why be an actress? >> surrounding myself with my family and the women that i thought were beautiful. i wanted to be katie hepburn and mary after,. gardner, i do undoubtedly that is who i wanted to be. they were beautiful and glamorous and shining entities. how did you process being exposed to performing in front of these persons that we all know as icons.

, these wereost part dreams and childhood dreams. girls dream of a certain kind of level of glamour. tavis: maybe i missed this in my read of the book. that you haveets about your relationship with your father? ultimately, if there

were, we worked those out. my father wasn't an easy man. he was a complicated man. if i had known how to negotiate more, ensuring that my way was the best way. , it might obedient not have been such a struggle. tavis: are you like that in all relationships? why don't understand obedience is required.

i don't think it is really appropriate. i felt that i should have a voice the same as any guy. tavis: when you look back on this twentysomething and younger angelica houston where your womanhood is concerned, what do you see? .

>> she knew that she had it. the things that i don't like so much, her insecurity and her longing for affection. loneliness. her sense of knowing better than anyone else. tavis: we all cracked vessels

and we are always in process. end, it occurse to me to ask, why did you write this? angelica houston doesn't get told what to do. >> she will accept suggestions. to begin with, here i am. i have been in this business for 45 years and there is a lot that people don't know about me. like the time before i came to los angeles before i met jack nicholson and before i came and academy award winner and had a life as an actress. these are the early

underpinnings, many people don't know about it. probably some people can identify with it. i was doing a show called smash and working for nights or four days out of the week. the rest of the time, i was a little bit at loose ends. it was when i started to write the book. i will get you on camera, we will see you when this comes out. she is coming back for the second half. this stops when you're 20, basically. write, you like to whether the exercise or the hasrience of doing this made you more anxious or less anxious to tell the rest of the

story. >> as it turns out, i wrote 900 pages just to begin with. a lot of that is there. i think it has given me energy and courage, particularly the reaction to this book. those questions came up. am i ready to tell the stories and am i ready to expose myself? if not now, when? just the pure enjoyment of being .ble to sit alone

under i have one booking my belt already for 20. angelica houston will return and the second piece of this comes out. the one that is out now is called a story lately told, coming-of-age in ireland, london, and new york. on thisored to have you program. thank you for the opportunity to talk to you. our show for tonight. thanks for watching and as always, keep the faith. >> for more information on today's show, visit tavis smiley at pbs.org. tavis: hi, i'm tavis smiley. join me next time for a conversation with basketball legend julius irving. dr. j, that is next time.

we will see you then. >> and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. >> be more. pbs. >> be more. pbs. music ♪)

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