(chuckling) i wonder if i have the right time. don't look at me. my wristwatch is being repaired. just think, ed. my wife, our little girl will soon be talking on this television set. what's so unusual about a talking woman? now, a talking horse... i don't see you using that great talent of yours to get people to come out and vote at the election this tuesday. if a horse ever runs for president, i'll make a speech. just you be quiet, ed. i don't want to miss a single word of this. (music on tv) is it okay if i breathe during the commercial? -shh! -shh! now, ladies and gentlemen, wpxq, as a special public service, is happy to present mrs. carol post, who will... here she comes. ... on behalf of the women's voters league. mrs. post. (applause)

-as your... -can we switch to the races? my niece is running at hialeah. quiet. ...councilmen and vote on some very important propositions. she's pretty, but my niece is faster. quiet! so many of us may feel that these issues are not so very important. so why bother going to the polls? just what i say why bother? when we fail to take advantage of our right to vote, we are forfeiting the most precious gift a citizen possesses. make your voice heard. make your vote count. thank you so much. (applause) admit it, ed. my wife looked beautiful on that screen. gorgeous. now will you please switch to hialeah? announcer: politics in general, wpxq, as a special public service... ...and trailing the pack by twelve lengths

turn it off. my niece is last again.

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well, i'm home! well, how did she look? -gorgeous. -aww. (laughing) carol, tell him the big news. yeah, tell me the big news. -guess what, honey. -what? they're going to use our house as a polling place next tuesday. well, what happened? we usually go to the webster's. well, their little boy came down with the measles, and... so, i volunteered our place. well, how many people will be coming? about 120. is it all right, wilbur? well, sure, honey. i'll just pretend a few of your relatives

see, kay? i told you he wouldn't mind. mm, i'd have volunteered our home, but you know addison, with all those people around, he'd put a lock on the refrigerator. say, why not? what a perfectly marvelous way to get out the vote. don't you see? we'll make a little party. sandwiches, refreshments, the works! i'll pay for everything! my dear, you just used four words for which i can never forgive you... "i'll pay for everything." wilbur and carol are allowing their home to be used for a polling place... the least we can do is help get out the vote. oh, i can hardly wait to tell the girls. they'll just love the idea! remember, sweetie. i want to cater this party. what party? this is an election. we can make the food ourselves. "make the food ourselves." yeah, what's 120 people? yeah, what's... 120 people? it might rain. wilbur, be sensible. imagine what a shambles

he may have a point there. but... but, honey, you promised. yeah, well, i was thinking, though, they may be able to move the voting booth into the back, in my office. -in the barn? -ed wouldn't mind. he's non-partisan. (chuckling) that dennis the menace kills me. (laughs) ed, this tuesday, the voters are going to come here to do their voting. what do you mean, here? i mean here, in my office. -you finished? -yeah. why can't they vote where they voted last year? well, the kids in that house came down with the measles. i'm sorry, wilbur. this is my home, not town hall. i already told carol it was okay to use my office. -how can i get out of it? -tell her i got the measles. i'm sorry, ed, we are going to use this place. it's for a civic cause.

but my stable is my castle. and you're going to have to learn to share! i don't see the addisons sharing. that is where you're wrong. you could take a lesson in generosity from roger addison. a man who's willing to spend his hard-earned money to make sure more people come out and vote on election day. hello. i'm harold sawyer, from the county registrar's office. is mrs. addison home? yes. i'm roger addison. -won't you come in? -oh, thank you. i was on my way over to the posts' to drop off these voter's registry books, but i thought i'd stop in to compliment your wife. that's a wonderful idea she has, serving refreshments on election day. yes, we were discussing it just before you came in. -won't you sit down? -oh, thank you. i understand the mayor is interested in seeing

brings out more voters this year. the mayor? oh, yes. and i wouldn't be surprised if he drops by here on election day, just to see how things are going. really? here? and i must say i admire your civic-minded spirit, mr. addison, very few people would go to the expense you're going to. (chuckles) what's a paltry few sandwiches? as i was just telling my dear wife, anything we can do to encourage our fellow citizens to exercise their franchise is a cornerstone in the bulwark of democracy. well, mr. addison, it's a pity that more men like you don't get into politics. well, i... i never really considered going into politics. you should. you've got standing in the community, you've got the appearance, the maturity, the ability. and i was head of our college debating team. you know, this little party your wife is giving tuesday won't hurt you a bit with the voters of this district. oh, uh... not that i'm interested,

i mean, you know, entering politics an unknown, at my age? well, eisenhower was 62 when he was inaugurated. and i play a better game of golf. oh, tell me. now, you know, if i were to enter politics, what office would i seek? alderman? assemblyman? i mean, you don't run for mayor right away, do you? you just keep on doing what you're doing, mr. addison. get to know the voters of your district. then the citizens will come looking for you. -believe me. -i can promise you one thing. if drafted, i would run. and if elected, i would serve. the voters can't ask more. well, i'd better go over and drop off these books. i'll see you on tuesday, mr. addison. oh, and i can promise you another thing. it's going to be quite a party. i like to go all out on these things. so bring your wife. oh, and the kiddies, because i love little children. -the future of america. -yes. well, uh, say hello for me to mrs. addison. thank you, i will. oh!

(sighs) four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. now we are engaged in a great civil war... over a few sandwiches. over a few sand... kay, my dear, i'm... i'm sorry i behaved the way i did a little while ago. i've changed my mind. you may have your little party on tuesday, and don't spare the expense. -come here, dear heart. -no, no! don't touch me! kay, darling. carol was the last person to see me alive. you'll never get away with it!

ed? ed, i know you're in there. we are going to use this as a polling place, so open those doors and stop sulking. -who's sulking? -you are. i am not. i guess i'm wasting my time with you. how can i expect you to understand the meaning -of good citizenship? -go ahead, insult me. tell me i'm only a horse. for your information, horses played a tremendous part in the history of our country. take paul revere's horse. nobody voted in his barn. if it hadn't been for paul revere's horse carrying him in that famous midnight ride, we might still be 13 colonies today. 15. you forgot hawaii and alaska. -don't be funny. -i'm serious, wilbur. what can a horse do for his country? plenty! it was horses that built the west,

over burning desert sands, across high mountains. i think they were jackasses. now, don't you say it. why, horses have run all through the history of our country. there was custer's last stand. the famous message to garcia. teddy roosevelt's roughriders! uh, george washington crossing the delaware. that was on a boat. well, when he got off, there was a horse waiting for him. the point i'm trying to make is this... that all through american history, it's horses that have made this country what it is today. are you calling me a foreigner? no. i'm just saying you're very selfish. you are trying to deprive the american voter of a place in which to vote. wilbur? what would you say if i were to wind up in city hall one day? i'd say pay the traffic ticket and forget about it. would it surprise you if i told you i might run in next year's election? you?

you? ah, life can be full of little surprises. one day, i'm a retired businessman, basking in the sun, taking things easy. the next day, i'm a public servant. still basking in the sun and taking things easy. roger, are you serious? well, it wasn't my idea. this morning, an official from the registrar's office dropped by and told me i'd be a natural for some public office. hmm. well, with your dislike for animals, i'd say you'd make a great dog catcher. well, if you're going to talk like a fool... no, wait a minute. i'm sorry. i thought you were pulling my leg. you mean, you really want to get into politics? it isn't my idea, the voters want me. wilbur. you can do me a big favor. now it's very important that i make a good impression on the voters, you know... meet them on my own ground. so i was wondering, could we switch the voting to my home tomorrow? oh, i don't know. carol's all hipped up about having it at our house. talk to her, will you? and let me know as soon as you can. mm. i better. i mean, if we turned you down,

hmm! ed, you can stop sulking. i've got great news for you. roger has volunteered his house for the voting tomorrow. what's wrong with this place? i thought you didn't like all the noise, the people. what people? these are fellow americans. what made you change your mind? that little speech you made about american horses. you made me fell like black bob. black bob? who's that? the only horse that chickened out at the battle of gettysburg. i'm glad i finally got through to you. wilbur, am i a good american horse? oh, ed, you're the finest. if you were human, you'd make a great citizen. -wilbur... -yeah? -can i vote? -can... oh, ed, don't be ridiculous. show me in the constitution where it says horses can't vote. ed, please believe me. horses cannot vote.

this place will be crowded with people tomorrow. why, they'd put me away if i let my horse go into a voting booth. well, we should be allowed to vote. we were here before the pilgrims. "chickened out at gettysburg." i'll vote tomorrow if i have to put on a pair of pants, a shirt, and a stupid expression. oh, thank you for voting. if you want seconds, there are fresh sandwiches on the buffet. woman: name, please. man: ella. we're very fortunate to have such a nice day. we'll have a fine turnout. and may i say that is a most attractive dress you are wearing, mrs. willard. why, thank you, kind sir. -name, please. -oh, you know. flo belle mcguire! (laughing). that was a wonderful table you set, kay. the food is delicious! -(laughs) -well, thanks so much.

you know, i wasn't going to vote today, but i couldn't resist the menu! -sign it, please. -flo belle. you know, if the voters keep pouring in at this rate, we should beat last year's mark by plenty. i think we already have, kay. any voters from now on are pure gravy. gravy? hmm, that makes me hungry again. i'll vote later. -all right. -no, flo belle. no seconds till after you voted. oh, dear! well, i'll vote fast! (clears throat) next, please. yes, there's a good chance i may run next year, mrs. phillips. -oh, really? -yes. you know... that for years, the boys at the club have been after me to make my voice heard in the cause of good government. that's wonderful. they seem to think i have a lot of good ideas. well, your food is excellent. thank you. uh, wilbur, the camera? my, what a beautiful baby. i would love to have my picture taken kissing that beautiful child, may i?

baby? -okay, governor. -thank you. uh... got it, senator! this picture will appear in the valley express, mrs. phillips, and don't forget, tell all your friends, next year, roger addison for good government. -of course, and thank you. -thank you. bye-bye. bye-bye. say, wilbur. that kid's face looked kind of puffy. do you suppose he's got the mumps? i don't know. have you ever had the mumps, roger? no. if you get 'em, i know a good baby doctor. pardon me. enjoying yourself? -how do you do? -oh. may i present myself? roger addison. i am, as you might say, hosting this party. how nice! thank you. it is supposed to be a secret, but there's a strong possibility

how nice! my, what a cute little puppy. you know, i adore animals. -wilbur. -coming. may i have my picture taken with this little dog for the press? how nice! all right. would you smile, please? not you, your honor. the dog. -thank you. -how nice. it's going beautifully. we've got a great turnout, and i think i've met every voter in the district. "how nice!" pardon me. -how do you do? -his is quite a spread, isn't it? thank you. roger addison, your host. uh, boy. would you take a picture of me with this distinguished gentleman? -a picture? -yes, you see, i'm just getting into politics. there seems to be a popular demand to make me mayor.

i doubt it. i'm the mayor. can't blame him much. he's upset about losing his job. excuse me. how do you do? i'm here to vote. my name is wilbur post-- p-o-s-t. post. mm, what a handsome man. sure wish i weren't married. right in there, mr. post. thank you, ma'am. and this isn't even my district. how do you do? (whispering) ed, get back! i want to vote. ed, don't be silly. i want to vote. listen, ed, please. let's compromise, wilbur.

that would be illegal. ever hear of a split ticket? ed, for the last time... please, wilbur, let me vote on one proposition. okay. vote "yes" or "no" on this one. "whereas, the city water supply has been proven inadequate "to supply the constituency from its normal sources "as provided in article 4, section 3 "of the amended charter of 1938, "it is hereby proposed the influx be diverted "so as to supply the aforesaid constituency "in the manner described above." how do you want to vote, ed? yes or no? -i just remembered something. -what? i'm not old enough to vote. ed, it really worked. we had a hundred percent turnout. you got to hand it to roger. he made it all possible. personally, he'll never get my vote. why don't you like roger?

too complicated to explain. well, he did a wonderful thing for the community, ed. and he is my best friend. you and your $2.00 camera! look at that picture in the valley express. my entire political career is ruined. how nice! (laughing)

i still wish i could vote, wilbur. ed, if horses could vote, and you were elected president, what would be the first thing you'd do? well, uh, ahh... i'd sure make a lot of changes, you can believe me. -like what? -for one thing, horses would be riding people. hm. what else? every time a horse won a race,

hmm. that's a good thought. and, mr. president, of course you realize you'd have to have a first lady in the white house. you mean, i'd have to get married? sure! well, i'm back in the barn, eating hay. hehehehehehehehehehehehehello. i'm mister ed. a horse is a horse, of course, of course and no one can talk to a horse, of course that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous mister ed hm, i'm getting a double chin. i've got to cut down those alfa-alfa snacks when i'm watching tv. ed, i have got great news for you. we're going camping this weekend at mammoth lake in the high sierras. me, too? sure, you and me and addison. oh, boy. i've always wanted to get out there in the woods and just let my beard grow. me, too.