anytime you're out from under not getting hassled, not getting hustled keeping your head above water making a wave when you can temporary layoffs good times easy credit rip-offs good times scratching and surviving good times hanging in a chow line good times ain't we lucky we got 'em?

yeah, i'm glad we're finished with that. finally got the storm windows in place, michael. yeah. man, will you look at that snow out there? it's like a miracle. now, what's so miraculous about a snowstorm? overnight, the neighborhood has gone lily-white. coffee's ready! good morning, everybody. good morning, husband. it's kiss-and-hug time. mm-hmm. when isn't it? thank you, bro-in-law. hey, michael, that's my doughnut. nah. possession is 9/10 of the law. oh, keith, when is a dumb old doughnut more important than a kiss and hug from your wife? hey, baby, you know you don't take no backseat to a lousy jelly doughnut. why, i'd give my life for you, but we're talking custard. oh, keith! just jiving, baby.

i got to warm up my bones! well, i'm so glad it's just your bones because brazil does not make enough coffee to warm the rest of you. i tell you, bookman -- the abominable snowman. bookman, why are you here? i don't think you heard me. bookman, why are you here? what's the matter? you got twinkies in your ears? good coffee. the man is wearing earmuffs. oh, good. then we can insult him all day. thelma, it ain't no good insulting bookman if he can't hear you. bookman, when are you gonna clear the snow off the sidewalk? listen, i got a plan. i got something that will clean all the snow off and make the sidewalks as clean as a whistle. what's it called? august? no. you see, i put this sign out in the door entrance,

"lost on the front step -- 5-carat diamond ring." then watch the people start shoveling that snow. [ telephone rings ] answer the phone. i'll get it, miss evans. bookman! hello? yes, this is mrs. bookman. this is mrs. evans. good morning, mr. collingsworth. why, yes, of course. i'll be there in 15 minutes. mm-hmm. thelma, i won't eat breakfast. i'll get a cup of coffee down at the bus yard. mama, you're not gonna go to work today, are you? listen, half of the regular drivers are out with colds, so they want all the substitute drivers they can get. why don't you tell them you have a cold, too? now, you know i can't do that, thelma. the kids i drive to school need all the education they can get, and it's my job to get them there. mama, i heard on the radio that they might be closing the schools down.

whoo-wee! close the door. ooh, child, let me tell you something. when all our ancestors was down there in the hot, sunny southland lifting those barges and toting those bales, little did they know that 200 years later, some of their kinfolk would be freezing their ex-cotton-picking tails off in a project. and i said all that to say this, honey -- ooh, child, it's cold outside. hey, miss woods! oh, you're just the one i want to see. i got a bone to pick with you. i asked you to fix my thermostat, and you knocked it off the wall. of all the ham-handed, oatmeal-brained, fumble-fingered, stumble-footed goofballs i have ever known, you are the worst. you are a buffalo-butted, banjo-behind, reject of the school of losers. you are a disgrace to the human race

i have no idea why noah let you on and off, honey, because i don't know where they fit the elephant butt you got in there. sleigh bells ring you are so ridiculous. are you listening? get out of my face! i was just getting ready to insult him. oh, flo, penny is bent on going to school today. are you planning on driving the bus? sure. aren't you going to work? you know i got to go to the boutique, but i don't know who's gonna do any shopping. i don't know many eskimos with credit cards. [ laughs ] let's go. i feel like king tut in a sauna. ma, i wish you would change your mind. thelma, you know i'm not gonna let a little bit of snow scare me. it never did when you all were little, and it sure won't start now. yeah, i know those kids will appreciate it as much as we did.

have a nice day, y'all. hey, michael, thelma, did you hear that jive radio announcer in there? no, man, what'd he say? he said, [ deep voice ] hey, all you sleek and slicky music freaks, this is bad cat bill, your very own disco dude rapping to you. ha ha ha. man, it's so cold outside... how cold is it? man, it's so cold outside, even the flashers are just showing pictures of themselves. ha ha ha. and, man, the snow is getting he-ea-ea-vy. so just lay back in your sack, and if you want some real delicious fatback, save your mama for better things. call harry's pick-a-rib -- guaranteed not to leave a grease ring. your ma-a-a-ma will thank you. [ normal voice ] i was just trying to cheer you all up. yeah, well, it's not working 'cause i'm still worried about ma driving that bus in that snow. thelma, it's not that bad out there.

yeah, but it seems like there's something we can do. [ chuckles ] i was just thinking of that. but seeing that we're stuck with michael, i think we better do something that includes the three of us. [ clears throat ] well, how about charades? i'm sure glad you didn't say hide-and-go-seek 'cause knowing the two of y'all, you sure enough wouldn't come looking for me. come on. come on. hit me. alex, come on, give me a hand here. ew. everybody okay?

i guess so. this place is scary. we're gonna die of scariness! now, now, now. nobody's gonna die of anything. i guarantee you that. what if you die first? nothing scares me. i'm not scared of anything. not even tarantulas. what are they? i don't know. that's how come i'm not scared of them. i think they look like that bug on your shoe! [ screams ] [ laughs ] alex. gee, aunt florida, maybe we should have stayed on the bus. well, the heater had stopped working there, honey. if we'd have stayed there, we'd have all frozen. at least we got room to move around in here. we won't get drowsy and fall asleep. i'm cold. we're gonna die of coldness-ness!

how come nobody lives in them? well, it's an abandoned redevelopment project. i'm hungry! i want me a big mac! well, i think you're gonna have a little bit of a problem finding one in a neighborhood like this. i ain't never heard of no neighborhood where you couldn't walk to a big mac place. you can't walk anywhere. the snow's 4 feet tall. cool. we'll have them deliver. they can't do that. but i'm hungry! we're gonna die of hungriness! now, look, kids, just stop and think how lucky we are. we're inside, out of the storm. i bet they're searching for our bus right now, and they know we're somewhere nearby. we'll be home in no time flat. we didn't stay on the regular bus route. well, of course i did. oh, no, aunt florida.

that we were turning off the regular bus route because of the snow? [ sotto voice ] penny. oops. sorry. oh, we're gonna die of lostness-ness! [ crying ] stop it. they'll find us soon enough. hey, i know what we can do to keep warm. let's all do a little jogging. say what? jogging? what are you, some kind of health nut? maybe you'd like me to warm the seat of your pants, young man. that's what i said, miss evans. let's jog. all right. now, one, two, three. [ whistle blows ] and hut, two, three, four. hut, two, three, four. hut, two, three. move it! hut, two, three, four. hut, two, three.

"gone with the wind." right! my charade. my charade. come on, brother. let's see what you got. [ hums ] a talent show? a song? [ grunts ] song? old song. um..."old man river." um..."old folks at home"? "that old black magic"? "my old kentucky home"? come on, man. okay, three words. second word. sounds like, um... wife? girl? pal! pal? sounds like thelma, right? your -- your... my gal -- "my gal al"? [ grunting ] you might as well do the whole alphabet. "my gal al," bal, cal, dal? "my gal gal"! yeah, right. wait. how about -- i heard this police report on tv -- shut up. you're bothering us.

"my gal sal"! right. "my gal sal"! look, there's this police report -- there's no such song, bookman. if you keep on interrupting, i'm gonna give you a knuckle sandwich. if you want to play, play, but otherwise get out. [ all talking ] okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. you. people? living person. seven words. sounds like... sounds like...lizard! longer. longer. uh, uh, wizard! wizard. no. gizzard? george gizzard? chicken george? thelma: four words? four words. sounds like...kiss! kiss. kiss? kiss? longer. uh, kissing. hissing. first two words. picture. picture. oh, our mama! our mama is kissing a lizard!

our mama is missing in the blizzard! right.

let's dance across the floor let's do it, let's dance kim, you can't go to sleep. come on. now, listen, we're all gonna clap and sing so loud, they're gonna hear us on michigan avenue. and if the police don't find us, motown records will. come on now. but, miss evans, i'm sleepy. we can't do that, honey. come on. let's all sing and dance. now come on. let's do it, let's dance let's dance across the floor come on, let's do it, let's dance let's dance some more

why haven't they found mama's bus yet? thelma, why don't you just do something constructive to keep your mind off your worrying? yeah, michael, i guess you're right. i'll go make some muffins. baby, please don't make no muffins. i don't want no muffins. just wait till the blizzard is over, the ice thaw out, and we can run away. ooh. hey. i should have known better than to try to get to work today. stranded three hours on the bus. only got four blocks. willona, i know you're freezing. not necessarily. sometimes it can be the warmest place in the world if you're standing next to the right man. another half an hour, i might have been engaged. but anyway, the bus stop -- hey, what's the matter? i've seen happier faces on shrunken heads. willona...

what, honey? well, um... why don't you have a nice cup of coffee just to warm your system up? that is an ingenious idea. ingenious. here you go, willona. thank you, sweetie. coffee's nice and hot. mm-hmm! there you go. now, what is it? well, um... it's like this, willona. um...you tell her, thelma. uh, willona, would you like some sugar in your coffee? okay, sweetheart. good idea. okay. willona, don't you take two teaspoons? oh, no, one's enough. what is it? what is it? well, it's really not that bad. what you mean it's not that bad? keith? [ laughs nervously ] well, willona, we know you're a cool, calm, and totally together person. that's right. you're not the type to get hysterical if you hear a bit of bad news. okay, now, come on, somebody. please tell me what it is. all right, tell me.

what, hon? penny and ma are lost in the blizzard! willona, now, just stay calm, all right? keith: willona. i'm cool. you are? cool, calm, and collected. willona? yeah? you okay, willona? willona, you all right? i want another "cof" of "coofee." another -- willona? coofee. coffee. coofee. lord... i'm afraid i'm gonna need a little help down here -- nothing fancy, no frills, strictly economy-class. but, lord, i want you to help me

[ thud ] now, lord, i know you work in strange and mysterious ways, but i never knew you worked that fast. [ thud ] who's out there?! donald: who's out there?! aunt florida, is he a heavenly messenger? no, stupid. he's either ernest or julio. the name is donald, and you've been disturbing my beauty rest all day. what are you doing here? i should ask you what you were doing in my townhouse. our school bus got stuck in the snow. man, i'm freezing. your place sure is cold. [ scoffs ] not when you carry your own antifreeze.

have some? we're not quite ready for that yet. well, i am. [ coughing ] you got a match? match?! don't you know what the surgeon general said about smoking? [ coughing ] you see what i -- [coughing] -- mean? gee, that's the worst smoker's cough i've ever heard. yeah. [ coughing ] and just imagine if i smoked! mister, we don't want to smoke. we want to build a fire! ahh.

where i get my favorite chitterlings ala flamb\. it's empty! now, you just be patient. i live here. i know what i'm doing. now, look, kids, there are only two matches here, so let's gather up all the wood you can. hurry. hey, wait a minute. what y'all doing with my palatial home here? wait. hey, that's my bathtub! hey, what y'all doing here? stop these kids here! what's wrong with y'all? is that all the wood you can find? that's it -- the whole enchilada. oh, my lord. there's a bunch of old junk in the room next door.

please! well, it's either that or us. go get it, kids. now, wait a minute. what's wrong with them fools, huh? oh! there goes my breakfast nook. and my bedroom suite. hey, that had a lot of value to me. my dear old daddy slept in that bed. are you crazy? i hope these still strike. give me that match. i'm gonna light the first one. after all, i insist. this is my memory that's going up in smoke. oh! give me that last match.

hey! now we can get warm. yeah, so can i! did you hear what they called ma? the most courageous school-bus driver in chicago. honey, i had no doubt in my mind they'd be saved. yeah, that's why you were catatonic. i was not catatonic. can we join the party? [ cheering ] aunt florida saved our lives. she built a fire, and she even made us do the freak. the freak? come on, aunt florida. let's show them. oh, come on, penny. and dance, let's dance come on, let's do it, let's dance -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com

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good times good times keeping your head above water making a wave when you can good times anytime you need a payment good times anytime you need a friend good times