there should be some good shows on. hey, that's a great idea. uh, uh, let's see, what is today? oh, here. uh, there's a movie that starts in a few minutes, jeannie. it's, um, a three-hour movie, and there's two more movies just like it right afterwards. oh, but that would take me all day. and by then your general will probably have hired another secretary. promise me you'll watch them all the way through. very well, i promise. yeah. we better get to the office. [sighs] that's for you. can you imagine her being a secretary, the chaos it would wreak. [sighs]

this way out, please. hello, miss? hey, roge. who are all the girls? oh, they're the gals that tried out for general peterson's secretary. boy, if those are the rejects, i'd love to see who he picked. whew. i wonder if jeannie's enjoying her movies, huh? yeah. what i wanted to talk to you about... roge? roge? [clears throat]

yes, it is. oh, i am so sorry it took me so long to get here, but i had to see that last movie. hee-hee! i am the general's new secretary. well, i'm afraid you're a little late, honey. i've, uh, already gotten the job. oh, but it is very important that i have it. you see, it is not so much for me, but for my master. uh, tough luck. uh, why don't you just go find yourself a crying towel. a crying towel? beat it. i'm busy. [intercom buzzes] peterson: will you come in, please? ah, right away, general. better luck next time, honey. yes?

oh. you may have the job. [giggles] look, don't send me any more women. find me a male secretary... fast. oh. who are you? i am your new secretary, general patterson. peterson. i'm sorry, i can't use you. oh, but i would be very valuable to you. [phone ringing] ah, that will be admiral billings. general peterson here. admiral billings? yeah, put him on. oh, hello, chick. it's nice to hear your voice. yes, i heard there was gonna be a meeting,

oh, washington? oh, sure, i'll make it a point to be there. oh, everything's fine here. we're beginning to get our apollo off the ground. yeah. our next meeting may be up on the moon. i know, there's no such thing as science fiction anymore. well, i'll be looking forward to seeing you. thanks for letting me know. goodbye. oh, i tell you what you can do. until my secretary gets here, you can, uh, clean up the-- oh, i have already done that. well, you can type the-- they are typed. well, you can straighten up my-- oh, i have already done it. this is general peterson. forget about sending me another secretary. i found one.

oh, yes, i am sorry. well, you and i are gonna get along very nicely, miss, uh... jeannie. miss jeannie. what's your first name? jeannie. jeannie jeannie. that's unusual. yes. well, i-i will file these. fine. now, i have an 11:00 appointment with dr. bellows and, uh-- major anthony nelson. oh, is he not wonderful? i will see to it that you are not disturbed. good morning. i'm, uh, here to see general peterson. i'm anthony nelson. i know. what are you doing--? what are you doing here? i saw all the movies. would you like to hear the plot? in one of them, this poor cowboy-- get out of here before general peterson sees you.

yeah-- you're his what? huh? yes. and now that i am going to be here, we can have lunch in the cafeteria every day. oh, i love cafeterias. you're not gonna be here because we're not gonna have lunch together-- now, you pop out and go home right now. come on, go. oh, but i cannot do that. why not? because, i would lose my unemployment insurance. lose your unemployment--? oh, dr. bellows. how are you, sir? good morning, major. oh, i, uh-- i don't believe we've met. i'm dr. alfred bellows. yes, major nelson is always telling me how-- i hate to be late for appointments. i don't think we ought to keep general peterson waiting. uh, you go in. i'll be right there. yeah. you look very familiar. have we met before? yes. remember when you came-- no. no, now-- now, that i think of it, uh, i was someone else. i could swear i know you from somewhere. she has one of those faces. it could fit almost anybody. i do not. i never forget a face. perhaps if we had a chat, we could remember where. are you free for lunch?

if you like. oh, i would like that. fine. now, i'll pick you up here. come along, major. we don't want to keep the general waiting. yeah, right. uh, major. would you make a copy of that? uh, major. yes, sir. [sighs] you are three minutes late. i'm sorry. very sorry, sir. well, look that over. yes, sir. now, if you see those two formulas at the top of the page, you'll notice one is neutral and one is acid. yes, sir. it's very important to keep that in mind. i'm sorry. i broke your pencil, sir. i'll get one from your secretary. major, here's a pencil. would you like some coffee, sir? no, thank you, major. please, forget about the coffee. now, if you'll just take your diagrams there. oh, i think i have them in here.

i-i-i-i suppose i left them in my office, sir. major. yes? go get your diagrams. yes, sir. i'm terribly sorry for the delay. excuse me. what's the matter with him? he seems very nervous. i think he has a reason to be nervous, general. what? does your secretary have a security clearance? security clearance? yes. [scoffs] this is a very sensitive base, general. i know i've seen that girl before. but she denies it. why? where'd she come from? what is she after? i'm gonna take her to lunch today. and i'm gonna get some answers. and if she doesn't talk? i'm a psychiatrist. yeah, that's right. yes. yes, that's right. seven p.m. mm-hm. i will tell him. bye-bye.

oh, good. oh. oh! what is it? i forgot to ask who was calling. jeannie, has dr. bellows ever seen you before? well, yes, yes-- when? remember, he-- he came into the kitchen one time when i was preparing your dinner. yeah. ha-ha! i do not know what gave him that silly idea, but he thought that you and i were-- were gonna get married, yeah. yes, yes. but you can't have lunch with him. oh, but why not? look, he's only seen you once. if he spends any time with you, he'll know that you were the girl in my kitchen. oh, do not worry, master. i will outsmart him. outsmart-- outsmart him-- no, no, that's the one thing you mustn't do. you mustn't try to outsmart him. you see, he's a psychiatrist. it's his job to outsmart people-- did you get the diagram? yes, sir, i have it. we're still having lunch, aren't we? oh, in the cafeteria. oh, i am looking forward to it. uh, so am i. so am i. major.

here we are. well. oh. this is so exciting. exciting? oh, yes. i am not allowed out of the house very often. you're not? no. and you know, it gets so tiring watching three movies on television. of course, the plot to the second one was lovely. it was this boy and girl who were engaged, and the mother objected-- engaged. that's it. now i remember. weren't you and major nelson engaged? i-i hardly know major nelson. i see. um, tell me, where are you from? where am i from? yes. uh, where were you born? where was i born? well, you must have been born somewhere. you know where you were born. oh, of course, of course.

i-oh-ho? oh-i-oh-wa? oh-i-oh-wa-- what? chicago? oh, yes. lovely city. tell me... what part of, uh, chicago did you live in? the lake section? no, no. the mountains. the mountains? mm-hm. did you, um, ever climb to the top of, uh, mount chicago? oh, yes. we used to do it all the time. did you? hmm. fascinating. tell me, um, what business was your father in? he was a used camel salesman. i beg your pardon? uh, a used car salesman. oh, very interesting. i like this. well, so do i. as a matter of fact, it may turn out to be the best lunch

oh. ha-ha. tell me more about yourself. may i? oh, i love to talk about myself. well, when i was a little girl in chicago, my mommy and daddy and i could never go away for weekends. we loved to climb mount chicago, but daddy always had to be home to feed the camels. the cars. and mama used to pack this marvelous lunch in a wicker basket... hi, al. tony, you gotta see the new dish in general peterson's office. whew. [clears throat] --around the base? what about dinner tonight? i asked her first about dinner. gentlemen, please. i'm sure you all have some work to do. [indistinct chattering] gentlemen, please, i'm sure this young lady has some work to-- you have some work, don't you? yes, i do. i better get back to work. fine. i will see you all later. i'm going to take you up on that. all right. bye-bye. thank you very much. bye. [giggles]

yes, aren't they? what about lunch? hm? lunch. oh, well, it was wonderful. we had roast beef with mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans and-- i'm not interested in the menu. what did you and dr. bellows talk about? oh, you do not have to worry, master. he was like a child in my hands. yeah-- you-- he wasn't suspicious? oh, not anymore. he was at first. yeah. but then, i told him that my father was a used car salesman in chicago. from then on, it was easy. really? yes. i had him eating out of my hand. yeah. well, th-th-that's wonderful. but i don't think we ought to take any chances. you better pop out of here and go home. no. no? no. no. not until i've had general peterson promote you to a general. huh? i'm not interested in becoming a general. oh, of course you are. and you do not have to worry about dr. bellows. yeah. [giggles] he will be no problem at all. long distance? this is dr. alfred bellows at cape kennedy. let me speak to the cia in washington.

hello, jeannie. hello, master. you came to watch me work. no, i came to tell you some very exciting news. really? mm-hm. [magic boings, typing stops] what happened? [gasps] oh, master. oh, the stars of a general. mm, yes, i just got the news. oh, that is wonderful. and i hardly mentioned you at all to general patterson-- peterson. yeah, well, he must've gotten the message. he has a very fast mind. oh, i am so happy. oh! now i can hold my head up in front of all those other genies. yeah, i thought you'd be pleased. oh! and you can tell general peterson that he-- he's just gonna have to get himself a new secretary. mm. i will. [both laugh] general anthony nelson. yeah. oh, that sounds wonderful. well, i-- jeannie. uh, hello, tony. general. can you make five copies of those, please? i'd like them in the afternoon mail.

why, major? i'm glad you asked me that, sir. oh, but it is not "major." it is "general." uh, general. general anthony nelson. did they not tell you? no. did they tell you? no, sir. no, sir. [clears throat] um, i can explain, sir. i was trying to impress the girl. you know how it is. a beautiful girl and a pair of stars on the shoulder. it's a very impressive thing and, uh... you were young-- when you were young-- it's a practical joke, really. next time you try a little joke like this, you'll be headed straight for a court-martial. take those stars off, major. so you are not a general. you-- you tried to trick me, so that i would quit my job. well-- well, now-- n-now i will never quit. not until you are a full-bird general. [knock at door] come in. dr. bellows.

amos lincoln, cia. oh, hello, mr. lincoln. uh, sit down, won't you. thank you. i'm sorry i couldn't get here sooner. our flight from washington was delayed. you flew in from washington? uh-huh. oh, you really needn't have bothered, mr. lincoln. i was only making a routine inquiry about one of our employees. well, it may have started out as a routine matter, doctor, but at this point, it's on the top priority list of half a dozen government agencies. i don't understand. first of all, there's no record of a miss jeannie jeannie having been born in chicago. i knew it. or anywhere else in the united states. you mean, she's an alien? well, if she is, she's here illegally. the immigration department has no record of her ever having entered the country. the department of health, education and welfare has no social security application from her. and the air force has no security clearance on miss jeannie jeannie. you beginning to get the picture? that's incredible. doctor, i've been with the bureau for over 15 years,

one single statistic on a person. for all we've been able to find out, she might've sprung up out of thin air. bellows: she came from somewhere. that's right. don't worry. before we're through, we'll be able to tell you everything there is to know about that girl. [knock at door] jeannie. h-hello, master. hello. you are not angry with me? angry with you? no. as a matter of fact, i'm grateful to you. you are? well. what have i done? oh, it's not what you've done. it's what you're gonna do. general anthony nelson. i thought you did not want to be a general? [laughing] no, jeannie, i must've been out of my mind. do you realize what this means to me? this means that i'm gonna be the youngest general in the united states air force. yes. mm. it's gonna be a pay hike, uh, uh, power, uh, more prestige, privilege-- oh, i knew you would change your mind.

this afternoon? good, good, good. that's wonderful. and now, uh... now, wait a minute. you better give me a couple of days. uh, i still have a few things to clear up first. what? well, i just, uh-- i have a few things to clear up first. everything's all set. oh, good. i thought you'd never get here. i thought you could take eloise out to breakfast. uh-huh. and you could take edna out to lunch. yeah. and you could just pick one of these beauties here for dinner, huh. any one of those. ah, yeah. juanita. i'll take her out to dinner, and we'll see which one of these will do. ooh, wh-wh-which one of these will do what? who--? who are they? oh, one of these girls is gonna be my wife. your wife? isn't that great? tony told meou arranged to have him made general, and, of course, everybody knows a general has to be married. so i brought over a few pictures here to view the eligible girls in town. generals have to be married? oh, yes. yes. uh, that's one of the rules. now...

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master? about juanita, i think... you mean, in order to be a general, you must have a wife? oh, yeah. that's right. oh! you cannot marry any of these girls. why not? they're really all quite nice. yes, you don't have to worry. i'm gonna pick out a good one. well, i think i have made a mistake. huh? uh, uh, y-y-you are much too young to be a general. i am? would you be terribly upset if you were not a general? well, i don't know. i kinda had my heart set on it, jeannie. but if-- if you don't think it's a good idea, then-- oh, it is a terrible idea, master. yeah. all right, then i won't. oh, thank you. ha-ha! you go home and fix some dinner, and i'll be there later. oh, no. please let me stay with you. no, really. i'd rather you go home now. but i want to play secretary. now, really. now. very well. i did it. i did it. you did it? i did it. i was helping. i was the one who brought the pictures. oh, you were great. ha-ha-ha!

she'd flip. one picture is worth a thousand words. oh, you sure fooled her, boy. [magic boings] [laughs] well, you're still the old master. yeah. oh, god, i hated to do it-- we're looking for miss jeannie. have you seen her? uh, jean-- miss jeannie. oh, no, you mean the girl that was just here? no, she's gone. when will she be back? i don't think she's coming back. uh, that's right. well, we'll find her. you're wearing sergeant stripes, major. yeah, what are you doing in these sergeant stripes? would you mind explaining that, major nelson? yes-- yeah. whose side are you on? uh, uh, uh, uh, sir, it-- it actually-- well, i have this girlfriend, a-and she sometimes just doesn't... [ ] hello, major healey. oh, hi, jeannie. jeannie, what are you doing here?

you want to get married? you want to get married! do you realize all the problems that would involve? i mean, i'm an astronaut, and you're a genie. boy, i worked hard to get where i am. boy, do you realize all the sacrifices i'd have to be making if i married you? i tell you what. we can get married sunday. we'll go up to las vegas, have a good time there. then we can go to switzerland. we'll have our own chalet. we'll take our time-- major healey, i cannot marry you. of course you can. listen, i can get a ring. i'm in love with major nelson. well, it's too bad. we'd have made a handsome-looking couple. i cannot understand why major nelson does not want to marry me. i would be a wonderful wife for him. well, maybe he's just not ready to get married yet. well, what is it that makes a man want to get married? well, a lot of guys look for the three c's in a marriage. "the three c's"? yeah. cooking, cleaning and cuddling. "cooking, cleaning and cuddling." oh, i can do that. jeannie, you're too eager. you got to play hard to get. "hard to get."

oh. ah. thank you, major healey. i hope you can come to the wedding. mm. whose side am i on, anyway?

[ ] mm! mm. doo-doo-doo [car approaches] oh. [yelps] good evening, master. w-what's going on here? i've prepared all of your favorite dishes. [chuckles] it just smells wonderful, jeannie. you shouldn't have gone to all that trouble. oh, it was no trouble. as a matter of fact, i'm not terribly hungry-- you should've seen what they had at the wedding. have you seen the newspaper, master? yeah, yeah, i did. oh, about the wedding. i remember what the girl wore. she had one of-- did you read about the floods in europe? yes, i did. it was terrible.

oh, you know, when he put the ring on, he-- dinner is served. oh, darling, should we be doing this? we've got to grab our happiness while we can. oh. who knows? tomorrow i may be in orbit, lost somewhere among the shining stars. oh, roger, i worry about you so. mm. sue, you-- you've got to be brave. oh, roger-- what are you doing here? what am i doing here? what are you doing here so late? oh. we have a breakfast appointment tomorrow, and i thought maybe you'd like to look nice and fresh. and i want to look nice and fresh, too, for you. we can have a nice time together. ha-ha-ha, oh, i know. you're very interesting, too. what are you doing here? [knocking]

tomorrow morning. the base breakfast. [laughs] jeannie, you've got to learn to knock. it did not do any good. no, it did not do any good. not for me, anyway. i mean, the advice you gave me. major nelson does not want to get married. yeah. well, did you use reverse psychology? well, yes. nothing will make him change his mind. well, then, why don't you forget about tony and marry sweet, lovable me? because i am going to marry sweet, lovable major nelson. jeannie, i told you, tony is never gonna change his mind. there is one thing that will change his mind. what's that? of course it is forbidden. oh, hold it, young lady. whoa-- wait a minute. wh-what's forbidden? and also it could be very dangerous. what could be very dangerous? but i am afraid there is no other way. now, wait a minute, jeannie. if you're going to do something dangerous, you'd better tell me first. goodbye, major healey. do not worry.

i think. she'll never get tony to marry her. i wonder what he would like for a wedding present. jeannie: "the spell of lahalabah is the most powerful "of all the spells. in all our history, it has never been known to fail." [squeals] goodie. "the genie must first obtain three things "from the person to be put under the spell. "a lock of hair, a piece of fingernail, and a small circle of cloth from his clothing." hm. that should not be too difficult. and then... [gasps] oh... mrs. anthony nelson. darling, i would like you to meet mrs. nelson. this is mrs. anthony nelson. this is tony's wife.

i will make him so happy. jeannie! oh. good evening, master. oh, good evening, jeannie. i brought some papers home the other day, and i can't, for the life of me, figure out what i did with them. i left them upstairs, i left them downstairs. uh, jeannie it was in a little envelope about this big with a red stripe on it. said "confidential." no. no. isn't that funny? i wonder what-- master? yeah? sit down, master. hm? you need a haircut. jeannie, i haven't got time for a haircut. oh, your hair is much too long. now, don't you put those things on my head. oh, neatness counts. i haven't-- i really haven't got time.

i just came back to-- to get a clean shirt and pick up some papers. i'm going night flying tonight. night flying? for night flying you need a haircut and a manicure. oh, uh, thank you, jeannie, but for night flying i have my own barber. i'll look downstairs. just a tiny haircut. jeannie, you put those things away before you hurt yourself. oh. a trim? all right, i'll change my shirt first. ah! will you be out late, master? yes. you might say that. may i have those, please?

oh, that is near the south pole. no. in the north pole. oh, well, one pole is like another. i miss you so when you are away. well, there's nothing to worry about. i'm a very qualified pilot. and i'll see you when i see you. oh, will you kiss me goodbye? sure. what was that? what was what? i-i-i heard something. what was it? mm-mm. jeannie, there's something going on in that sweet little head of yours. i'd love to find out what it is, but i just don't have the time. what was that? oh, it was nothing. what was that? you'd better hurry, master, or you are going to be late for your flight. yeah. yeah, you're right. i'll go down, and i'll change and get a fresh tie.

goodbye. yeah. i-- i don't know what you're up to, but whatever it is, you're not gonna get away with it. goodbye, master. [laughs] [sings notes] "do you have the objects from your beloved?" yes. "good. place them in a goatskin bag." goatskin bag. goatskin bag tie. here. fingernail hm. [mutters] ah. "are they in the bag?" yes. "then recite the incantation to lahalabah." [clears throat] "o great place where spirits dwell "hear thee now my magic spell

"make-- "fill in first and last name of subject of spell. "give middle initial, if any. "hair and nails and cloth of loom "make major anthony nelson, no middle initial, be my groom "ere another change of tide "make-- "fill in first and last name of person casting spell. "give middle initial, if any. ere another change of tide make jeannie--" sorry, that is my whole name. "--be my master's bride" allah. it is done. tony: jeannie! jeannie! oh-- hi. i had to come back. oh, master, what are you doing here? i had to come back. you get that wedding outfit. when i come back from the aleutians tomorrow, we're getting married. oh. [laughs]

[daughter] sometimes the hallways felt like a giant maze. [mother] jenny didn't feel like going to school, and she slept during the day and was up at night. she seemed irritable all the time. [daughter] it felt like there was a weight on my shoulders. and the weight was really hard to hold up. [mother] one day my daughter was crying, that's when jenny told us she thought about hurting herself. [daughter] then my parents got me treatment.

oh, it is truly lovely. [gushes] [ ] ee-- oh! ha-ha-haji. [giggles] what are you doing here? i have come to find out what you are doing. i? oh, well, i-i am doing nothing. you have used the love incantation over your master. oh, just a little. "decree 720, paragraph six, subhead three. "it is forbidden for any genie to cast a love spell over her master." really? well, next time i will know better. would you like a cup of coffee? there shall be no next time. you will cancel the spell.

you refuse? but i love him so very much, and he loves me. [squeaks] but-- but i did not even need the silly old spell. i am sure he would've married me anyway. i tell you for the second time. but i cannot cancel it. [squeaks] but all the arrangements have been made for the wedding. i tell you for the third time. oh. well, just one tiny little spell will not do any harm. why do we not just forget it this time, and i-- you have been warned! oh. haji? haji? haji? i have been warned? [ ] roger, how long is it gonna take you to pack?

las vegas. you're gonna be my best man. your be--? you're getting married? yeah. you're getting married! well, congratulations, you sly dog. yeah. boy, you must've been keeping her under wraps. who's the lucky girl? jeannie. jeannie who? huh? jeannie? our jeannie? no. my jeannie. well, you can't marry her. why not? why not? well, she's-- roger, she's-- she's beautiful, and-- and-- and warm-hearted and kind. oh, that girl's perfect. oh, i've heard of mixed marriages, but a genie anan astronaut. ho. roger, we're gonna get married this afternoon. are you coming with us or not? look, if you get married, everyone's gonna want to meet your wife, right? yeah. well, i can hear it now. does your wife smoke? yes. what brand? oh, no brand. she just smokes. oh, excuse me, folks, while i get my wife out of the bottle. oh, dr. bellows will love that. that's just great. you're gonna be washed out. r-roger-- roger, don't worry. don't-- jeannie's not gonna let anything happen. you're really going through with this? of course i am. i can't explain it, roge,

are you coming with us? to las vegas? mm-hm. well, if you're gonna get married, that's the place to gamble. yeah. huh? [ ] oh, yes, i have your reservation, mr. nelson. good. i am mrs. anthony nelson. we're not actually married yet. you're not? oh, but we will be as soon as the minister gets here. he's on his way. he's gonna be here any minute. mm-hm. here's your key, miss. thanks. and yours, mr. nelson. oh. [bell dings] the bellboy will show you to your rooms. oh, dr. dawson, i have a message for you. call room 527. thank you. oh, hey, roge, the minister's gonna be here any minute. yeah-- wait a minute. this is my last dollar. you know, i've been here for five minutes, and i'm wiped out already. you know, you can't-- oh!

roger. it's all right, officer. we'll meet you up in the room. four-twelve. four-twelve. i'll pick up the money. [ ] oh. master, are you all right? i-i think it's my ankle. would you mind lifting up a minute? huh? roger, look, i-- man: here, let the doctor-- man 2: let us through. dr. dawson, our house doctor. let me through here. oh, he does not need a doctor. he needs a hospital. this man has a broken ankle. jeannie: he is not going to the hospital. well-- and why not? because he does not have a broken ankle. [magic boing] you may get up and walk now. thank you, jeannie. we do not wish to be late for our wedding. madam, he cannot walk on that foot. tony: believe me, doctor, if jeannie says i can walk on it, i can walk on it. right. watch-- [screams] what happened? well, i'll tell you what happened. he just broke his wrist. oh, that's impossible. [magic boing]

[ ] [magic boing] no. [magic boing] [screams] [gasps] the haji's warning. i must have lost my power. you-- you must have lost your what? oh! oh ! ow! ow! [concerned chattering] dawson: i'll take care of you. [siren wailing] hello, master. hello. boy, what an unlucky jackpot that turned out to be. jeannie, can't you bring me out of here? i have tried. it does not work. what do you mean it does not w--? what do you mean? you're a genie, aren't you? yes and no. what do you mean yes and--? [magic boing] [pained shouting] what hurts you? your arm or your leg? ow. ow. it's my stomach.

doctor! nurse! [magic boing] [magic boing] you'll have to leave. my dear, you have to leave. [magic boinging] i'll treat you later. doctor, help me, will ya? [screams] yeah, that's it! that's exactly-- do not worry. he will be fine. yeah. fine. oh, doctor. doctor, what's happening? acute appendicitis. we're going to have to operate immediately. oh, no. you know something? this is not his day. i-- i can't understand it. i can. i put major nelson under a spell, so that he would want to marry me. you put--? a spell? well, get him out of it. but then he would not want to marry me. and he needs me to take care of him. he needs you? he's in there with a broken arm and a broken leg and acute appendicitis. how could you do this? i've lost my power. haji warned me not to put him under a spell. well, look. what would happen if you broke the spell?

yes. then i would not be mrs. anthony nelson. well, i think it's a question of what tony needs more: a wife or a genie. a wife. all right, men. right down this way, men. what's happening? we're taking major nelson to emergency surgery. this is dr. benson, the state inspector of hospitals. why, i cannot let them operate on him. well, a wife can't cure appendicitis. but a genie can. oh, well, i'm not one to be married anyway. [tony shouts in pain] you better hurry up, or there's not going to be enough of him left for either of you. lahalabah, listen well while i break this magic spell seema roojo kemakawn uh...

[circus music playing over speaker] oh, i must have said the wrong words. oh, thank you. benson: get a syringe ready. automobile accident? no. just clumsy. he's got a broken wrist, a broken ankle, and acute appendicitis. doctor, where's jeannie? if you'll just get ahold of jeannie, you'll see that none of this is necessary. oh. young man, be quiet. you are sicker than you think. oh! jeannie? we're back where we started from. i think i know what i did wrong. lahalabah hear my shame return the spell from whence it came from whence it came? shh. listen now and listen well take away my master's spell hold it. now, just be quiet. you're gonna be just fine. i'm feeling pretty good already.

miracle of modern medicine, sir. you said he had a broken ankle. [stammers] i don't understand it! i'm going to recommend you both highly to all my friends. what about your appendicitis? [chuckling] yeah. what about it? oh, master, you are all well. yeah. i feel great. good. look who is here. huh?

"--this woman in--" excuse me, sir. jeannie, i can't marry you. oh, it will only take a minute, master. a minute. what time is it? it's 5 after 5. five after 5? i've got to be in general drew's office at 5:00. hey, you're gonna be late. it is a very short ceremony.

no, i really can't-- "when in the bloom of youth--" please, i'm terribly sorry. they're gonna be discussing the apollo project, and i've got to be there. well, you'll never make it now. jeannie, get this cast off me. but i do not wish-- now, come on, both of them. off. "dearly beloved, we are gathered together here--" no, no, no. wait, i can't. i just-- i just can't. i'm sorry. now, get me back to that meeting. oh, but master-- now, come on, i mean it. get me back there. [giggles] uh, i'm sorry i'm late, gentlemen. i know how it must inconvenience you-- i-i-i'm terribly sorry.