i've had nothing but trouble all day. now, there's no reason why you can't wear that dress to school tomorrow. - but mommy, nobody wears anything like this anymore. - oh, i've seen lots of girls wearing dresses like that. now, what's wrong with it? -well, you could see what's wrong with it yourself if you weren't so, so -- - ignorant? - no, not that, exactly. - well, what then? - well, you wouldn't understand. give me the dress, i'll wear it. i just hope it rains tomorrow so i can wear a raincoat over it all day. - oh, what a day this has been. - [margaret] oh, hi, dear. - hello, honey, you sound a little weary. are you all right? - oh, i'm all right just stupid. - stupid? - well, kathy's come to the conclusion that i'm so ignorant she can hardly stand to have me around.

remember this. it's the stupid ones that have the most fun. - oh, right. i've had enough trouble today without any of your funny jokes. - [jim i'll just throw those in for free. there's the mail. doesn't anyone bring in the mail anymore? - who has the time? by the time i've finished the dishes and picked up after all of you, and repaired the vacuum cleaner which broke again today incidentally. oh, oh, no. - what's so funny? - [margaret] well, isn't this a laugh? in fact, it's the first laugh i've had all day. - what's the big laugh? hi, father. - hello, princess. - listen. dear margaret, as you know the long-awaited moment has arrived for us to plunge into the building of our cherished project, the half million dollar children's clinic. - oh, so your women's league -- - finally got the money together to build a clinic, huh? - [margaret] finally. - good. - our building committee met this afternoon and this is to inform you, margaret, that you have been selected as general chairman of the building program. - general chairman?

- oh, they must be kidding. - i couldn't build a hot dog stand let alone a big clinic. (laughing) - you're supposed to call the club president, mrs. bradshaw, and tell her if you'll accept the job. (laughing) wouldn't that be funny if you would accept it? - serve them right if she did. those women. surely they know better than to throw all that responsibility on one small woman with no experience. that's unfair. in fact, it's pretty stupid. - how could they do a thing like that? - it's the most ridiculous thing i ever heard of. - [bud] can't you just see mom out there giving instructions to the crew? all right now, men, this would be a cute place to put the clinic, don't you think so? (laughing) well, then, you there, you run to the neighbors and borrow a shovel and dig the basement. - okay, boss. how big a basement? - big enough to fit nicely under the clinic. you, you there, boy,

and make it cute. - okay, boss. - don't forget to leave a hole in it for the chimney. - to hear you people talk, you'd think i was the dumbest person in the world. - oh, it's nothing against you, mother. it's the women's aid league for making such an utterly stupid error. - i see. - those women should realize that washing dishes, making beds, and cooking beans hardly qualifies a person as a building contractor. - [bud] do you suppose they wrote that letter to you as a joke? - well, it's a hilarious one. i can see that. i'm glad it's going over so big. well, if you'll excuse me, i'll go out and cook beans, that is if i'm not too ignorant. - mom's sore. - oh, i don't blame her. the idea of them sending her that letter. - i don't understand.

out of this. so we decided the smart thing to do was to choose our most photogenic member as building chairman, and that's you. oh, margaret, you should have heard the flattering things they said about you. - well, that's very nice. - you see, your name will be used in all the publicity stories, and all you'll have to do is pose for the pictures. you and mr. carlson going over the plans, and you and the mayor at the groundbreaking ceremony. incidentally, that will be next friday. - (laughs) well, this puts an entirely new aspect on things. - so you'd better uphold the cause of springfield womanhood, and call mrs. bradshaw and tell her you'll accept. (laughing) well, what's so funny? - oh, i was just thinking how my family will react when they hear me accept the job. they've been making the most horrible jokes about this thing. according to them, picking me was the world's stupidest error.

- you get that from your family too? - you know, myrtle, i wish i didn't have to let them know what the job really is. - well, don't tell them. let them think you're really the head man. - oh, i couldn't do that. anyway, they'd find out soon enough. - not necessarily. i'd be very glad to help you fool them for a while. it'd serve them right. - certainly would. - and i could make a lot of phone calls to you pretending that i'm mr. carlson, and the mayor, and you'll have a copy of the blueprints for the publicity pictures anyway, so you could pretend that you're making changes in the plans and all that. (laughing) - oh, it would be a good joke on those smart alecks. - [bud] hi, mrs. davis. - [myrtle] hi. -did you hear about mom building a clinic? (laughing) if you play your cards right, you might be able to get her to hire you as a hod carrier or something.

- [bud] there they are big as life, mom and the mayor breaking ground. - [jim] well, sir, if i wasn't seeing it, i wouldn't believe it. - and to think she just called the mayor and told him to be there, and bang! there he is. she must be pretty important. - [jim] must be. is she home? - no, she said she'd be at mr. carlson's office all afternoon going over the plans. she told me i better go ahead with dinner. - hello. sorry i'm late. - [jim] well. - hello, dear. - bud] mom, your picture's in the paper. - [kathy] yeah, with the mayor. - yes, i saw a copy. oh, it's a frightful picture of me, isn't it? what a busy day. the photographers, and the reporters, then to carlson's office. i changed half the plans, ordered new blueprints, argued with the electric contractor. (phone ringing) yes?

- margaret, when we left the movie this afternoon, did you pick up my gloves? you know, i think i have yours. - yes, you're right, but don't worry. i'll straighten that out tomorrow. goodbye. that carlson, i don't know how he'd get along without me. - you know, since mommy started building that clinic, she's had her picture in the paper seven times already, just look. - seven times! look at all these articles quoting her. wow, she's getting mighty important. - she sure is. makes me feel ashamed of myself for the way i was treating her acting like she didn't know a thing. here she is the smartest woman in town. - well, why don't you tell her that? - i've tried to, but i don't know.

- well, get some sleep, and maybe you'll think of a way to tell her tomorrow. - i hope so. good night. - night, honey. - [jim] hello, princess. - oh, hi, father. did you sell a thousand insurance policies tonight? - [jim] not quite. is the construction boss home? - [betty] not yet. she's still at a business meeting. did you see this scrapbook kathy started? - [jim] uh uh. (negative) - it makes mother sound pretty big. - oh, yeah? - according to mrs. anderson, mrs. anderson declared, it was stated by mrs. anderson. why she's getting more coverage than a flagpole sitter. - well. - how does she do it? how did she learn so much about the building trade almost overnight? - well, i'll tell you betty. i stumbled on something today which sheds a slightly new light on your mother's activities. - what do you mean by that?

with whom she works at all hours? i met him today. i was introduced to him at a business luncheon. - jim, shake hands with the state's most famous building contractor, sam carlson. - carlson, oh, yes. - excuse me. - how do you do? - we've never met, but we have the same boss. - boss? - yes, my wife, mrs. anderson. you have my sympathy, mr. carlson, but don't let her buffalo you. she's really not so tough. - your wife, you say? - yes, margaret anderson, the women's aid league. you know, she's the one who's running the clinic project. - oh, she is? - yes, she's the one who hired you. - hired me? i was hired several months ago by mr. morrison, the attorney who handles all the league's business. - oh, well, mrs. anderson is the one who's been working with you every day on the clinic.

i've never even met mrs. an -- oh, no, wait! maybe she was the one i had my picture taken with one day, a publicity picture. yes, i remember her, very nice woman, very pretty. - [betty] he didn't even know her? - [jim] nope. - but, what about all those phone calls she has with him? - i don't know, but i know it isn't carlson on the other end. obviously, that sweet little mother of ours is pulling a fast one on us. - how do you like that? i can hardly believe it. mother, of all people! you'd hardly suspect her of a thing like that. - neither would i. that's why we were taken in so easily. - but wait, what about all these newspaper articles? - evidently, they're just using her name for publicity on the project. - oh, wait 'til i get hold of her. - say, what's mom doing next door with mrs. davis?

- [betty] she's at mrs. davis's? - yeah, when i drove in just now i saw them through the kitchen window. they were laughing and having a high, old time. - father, that's it. if she's over there instead of at the meeting, then mrs. davis must be in on the joke. i'll bet she's been on the other end of all those phone calls. - what are you talking about? what joke? - bud, that little, old, gray-haired mother of yours has been faking this whole thing. she's not really building that clinic. oh, i can hardly wait for her to walk in here. the things i'm going to tell her! - no, wait! i have a better idea. let's not say anything about this. let her go right on thinking that she's fooling us. we might get a couple of laughs ourselves watching her work her little game. - oh, yes, that's a much better idea. - i just don't get what she's doing. how's she been faking? - shh, i think i hear her coming.

- oh, everyone's still up? - how did you meeting go? - oh, all right. i'll be glad when this is over and i can relax again. - mr. carlson still giving you a tough time, or are you whipping him into shape by now? - he's coming along nicely. still a little pigheaded, but i guess that's all part of the game. well, i guess i'll go to bed. - i've looked over these plans for the clinic. i wish you'd explain them to me. - oh, they're all changed again. well, i've just scribbled over them so much you'd hardly be able to understand them. i can hardly understand them myself.

i have a lot of problems coming up tomorrow. good night. - we'll talk about it later. - bye, patty, see you at school tomorrow. - i've got to run now. i'll see you later. hi, kathy. - oh, mommy, guess what? you were a big hit in class today. - i'm the big hit? - yes, here, read this. - the most important person i ever met. what is this? something you had to write for school? - for english, we had to write on that topic. so i wrote about you. - the most important person i ever met is my mother. she's not only a wonderful mother, but also a prominent citizen. besides running our home and family, she's almost single-handedly -- oh, no, building the new children's clinic. - keep going. - she directs everything giving orders to contractors and everyone

you say you read this to the whole class? - yes, and boy was i proud. you should have seen jenny sloan turn green with envy. she's always bragging about her mother and how great she is. it's very nice, kathy. - finish reading it, mommy because i mean everything in it. i'm sorry the way i talked to you a couple of weeks ago. i really think you're wonderful. - well, kathy, i'm afraid i'm not so wonderful as you think. - yes, you are. i'll fight anybody who says you're not. in fact, i already have.

- that darn jenny. after school, she made cracks to a lot of the kids about my composition being a pack of fibs. i didn't really hurt her. - oh, kathy. you shouldn't do things like that. - well anybody who says my mother is a fake -- - kathy, there's a bunch of your friends outside. they want to see you. - my friends? who are they? - well, one of them is jenny sloan. i don't know what she's talking about, but she said she can prove what she's saying. - she can, eh? well, i'll show her. - [margaret] kathy, wait. there's something i want to tell you. - jenny, come in the house and bring all your friends. i want you to hear the truth direct from my mother. then we'll see who's lying. come on, if you're not afraid. come on! don't be chicken, come on! - i told my mother about what you wrote about your mother single-handedly building that clinic and she said that was a lot of nonsense. - nonsense! - and she said your mom was just a --

- publicity front. - publicity front! will you just get in there, and we'll see who's a publicity front. - oh, yeah, and what's more. - well, we'll just see about that. come on, mommy. come on, go on ahead. tell them the truth. - well -- - that kathy. if she only knew what she was doing to mother. - you see, well when kathy wrote that theme she was prejudiced in my favor so understandably she stretched things a bit. in fact, i guess one would have to say that jenny's mother is right. - what? - oh, poor, mother. she's having to destroy both kathy and herself. if we could just do something to save her.

- well, he can't do anything. - but, of course, my job does have certain duties which are important. perhaps they appear more important than they really are. so it was natural for kathy to assume that i was single-handedly building the clinic. actually, the man who builds it is mr. carlson the big contractor. - i'm sorry to interrupt. carlson just phoned. he wanted to know if you needed him anymore this week

and the league president called you both have a perfect driving record. >>perfect. no tickets. no accidents... >>that is until one of you clips a food truck,

>>yup... now, you would think your insurance company would cut you some slack, right? >>no. your insurance rates go through the roof. your perfect record doesn't get you anything. >>anything. perfect! for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. and if you do have an accident, our claim centers are available to assist you 24/7. for a free quote, call liberty mutual at switch to liberty mutual and you could save up to $509 call today at see car insurance in a whole new light. liberty mutual insurance.

to be photographed for the publicity brochures. (phone ringing) oh, that phone. ever since you took that job, this thing rings day and night. hello. hello. yes, mrs. anderson is here. it's the newspapers again. answer it. they said it's urgent. (audience laughter) - hello. (clears throat) hello. - mother, this is the editor, and we're holding the presses for your publicity releases. - go on. - well, i'm sure the -- - publicity releases. - publicity releases have already been sent to you. yes. - and you had about five more calls. (phone ringing) - oh, me.

hello. who? yes, she's here. you again. the mayor. - hello. - how do you do, madame? this is the mayor, and i'm very hungry (mumbling) how about publicitying me up a sandwich? - i'm sorry. i'm too busy. you'll have to handle this yourself. goodbye. - now about this -- - my, mrs. anderson, you're the importantest woman i've ever known. you know, this publicity front is even a bigger job than building the clinic. - no, it's not. i do nothing. - nothing, she says. only about a million phone calls, that's all, a lot! - oh, no, really i do very little.

who never fail me. - but anybody can see who's boss, and we better not take up any more of your valuable time. so long, kathy. - oh, no, no, no. wait, now don't go. i think that the phone calls will stop long enough for me to make you some lemonade and some cookies. you go out in the kitchen with kathy. oh, and you too jenny. i'll be right out. go on! - come on kids, lemonade. (general chatter) - you knew what a fraud i was. oh, what you people must think of me. - shall we tell her?

importantest woman we've ever known. even though you are the prettiest clinic builder in the world, don't build anymore. we need you too much right here. (audience applause) - [voiceover] robert young and jane wyatt. (children giggling) with elinor donahue, billy gray, and lauren chapin in father knows best.

- [margaret] mildred. - hello, margaret. hope i'm not too early to pay a quick social call. - oh, come in; this is a surprise. - you have no idea what a real surprise i have for you. - well come in; sit down. excuse the state of the room. - betty here? - no, she just left for school. - too bad. i'd like to see the look on her face when she hears the news. - well, mildred parker, what are you talking about? - remember that hollywood star contest we sent betty's picture in to? - the donna stuart twin contest, oh i certainly do. you know, i always felt just a bit guilty that i even considered letting betty be a contestant. mildred, is that why you came here this morning? something about that contest? - i would say that you now have a celebrity in the family, margaret. - what?

magazine is happy to announce that the picture of ms. betty anderson submitted by the women's club of springfield has won the donna stuart twin contest. oh! oh, no. - well you don't seem very pleased. what's wrong. - well for one thing, i never told jim anything about it, nor anyone, well not even betty. oh it seemed harmless enough at the time. everyone was making such a fuss about betty's resemblance to a movie star. well actually i never dreamed that she had a chance to win. - personally i'm not a bit surprised that she won. just look at this picture of donna stuart. - oh i know, the resemblance is amazing. - in fact, if i didn't know betty as well as i do, i'd think she was leading a double life. and just wait till betty hears that she's won a trip to hollywood. - yes, just wait till her father

- i don't care if betty will be heart broken. she's not going off to hollywood on a wild goose chase like that. - this isn't a wild goose chase. it's a contest that betty won fairly and squarely. - contest, by what stretch of the imagination can you call this a contest? a contest is when you have certain abilities to offer as a challenge to an opponent. all betty had to do with this contest was to be born. she didn't have anything to do with that. that was our idea. - alright, jim. certainly it isn't worth an argument between you and me. but you tell betty your decision. i haven't the heart. in the meanwhile, i'll phone mildred parker and let her know. - what did mildred have to do with this? - well she's president of the women's club. after all they're sponsoring this wild goose chase. - the women's club? - that's right.

unintelligent, bean-brained member of a respectable organization like the women's club went so far as to send in a picture of my daughter without my consent? - not at all, i did. (audience laughing) - margaret. - it seemed so unimportant that i didn't even mention it to you. but, jim, it's done, and betty has won. - what about her school? - it's on a weekend. she'd only miss one day. - well i just... i suppose she's going to traipse off to hollywood all by herself. - no, definitely think that someone should go with her. - who? - that unintelligent, thick-headed, bean-brained-- - okay, okay, i can't fight betty, the women's club, and my wife. where is our celebrity? - in her room waiting for the verdict.

(audience laughing) - [betty] mother will get to see hollywood too. - well, princess, just one thing. uh, why does winning this contest mean so much to you? - because for a change i'll be something other than plain old betty anderson of springfield. - well i'm rather fond of plain old betty anderson of springfield. - i know, but you know, father, a chance like this doesn't happen to everybody. just think, for two whole days i'll be sort of important, a little bit famous. i'll be, i'll have my name and picture in a movie magazine. i'll get a chance to meet some stars. i'll be a guest at one of the exclusive night clubs.

- well, princess, if you'd won a contest because you did something that required skill and talent, i'd agree with you. you'd have a right to a certain amount of acclaim, but, um, what i'm trying to explain to you is that, uh, just the mere fact that you look like somebody, somebody famous, doesn't make you famous, nor important. - i think you're missing the whole point, father. - maybe, but i'm thinking of a few angles that you haven't thought of. mostly that i don't think you'd really enjoy being an imitation of something. - do we have to analyze this? it just sounds like fun that's all. something different. well, something to put in my scrapbook

please. - well, if as you say it's just for fun. just for a page in the scrapbook of memories, and if you'll promise to keep it that way. - i promise. - then start packing. - oh, father, oh thank you for being so wonderful. - i'm not wonderful just out numbered. (audience laughing)

(orchestra music)gzggucuc5 - now. - oh. - welcome to hollywood, ms. anderson. - thank you. - i'm burt layne, publicity. - how do you do. - you must be the young lady's mother.

- i knew you were. you're as pretty as she is, prettier. - thank you. - alright, catch one, jerry. wave hello to somebody folks. anybody. (laughs) me if you like. ah that's it; grab it, jerry. thank you. that's one for your scrapbook. - oh. (laughs) - ted, bring the car around. we'll take you in to the beverly hills hotel. - oh. - then you head over to the studio and meet ms. stuart. she's making a new picture over there right now. just started two days ago. - i'm sorry, bill, awfully sorry. - [bill] will you kiss me goodbye? - [director] now cut it, boys, cut it. - [producer] alright kids, fix them up. we'll go right away again. another take right away. - [man] alright, kids, we'll have to do it again. - [bill] that's alright with me.

- the young fella is bill joyce. a new actor the studio just signed up. - wow. - that's okay, mrs. anderson. every wow like that spells box office. - alright, let's have it quiet please. quiet down now. alright, roll it. - action. - i love you very much.

- i'd know what to say. (audience laughing) - do you go to college, betty? - yes i'm a junior. - where? - at springfield college. i suppose you never heard of it. - well sure i know springfield. i spent two days there once for the summer star company. - funny, i see every play or road show that comes to town. i would've remembered you. - well i've changed since then. i was three at the time. (audience laughing) - oh, betty, before i forget. right after lunch publicity wants to shoot some stills of you. then i'll take you up to wardrobe and they'll fix you up with some glamor clothes for your tv debut tonight. - thank you, mr. layne. - if you're going to be a star's double, you might just as well dress the part too. you going to be able to make it to the club tonight, bill? - i will if i can get a date. may i have the honor of your company? - you bet you can. (audience laughing)

- good, see you kids tonight. oh, jane. - i'm afraid springfield's going to be pretty dull for betty after all this, ms. stuart. (upbeat orchestra music) - [burt] right in here. why don't you go right on in to our table? i've got to find the manager and tell him that donna won't make

- may i take your wrap? - oh, thank you, bill. - oh not mine. i'll probably never get this close to mink again. - i probably won't either. - hey aren't you somebody important? - well... - just sign here. oh, donna stuart, thank you. - that's alright my dear. - betty anderson, why i'm amazed. - oh now, mother, you know if i put betty anderson

- that's a movie star, movie star. honey, wouldn't it be wonderful if the folks back home could see us now. rubbing shoulders with the big movie stars, isn't that something? - yes, dear. (audience laughing) (clapping) - ladies and gentlemen, we have a surprise for you tonight. we have with us the very talented and lovely movie star, ms. donna stuart.

- apparently the hit news hasn't reached him. he means you. - oh wait till i tell everybody in springfield about this. - get a load of that. she's trying to pass herself off as donna stuart. that kid in there she's a phoney. she's a phoney isn't she, ellen. - what do i do now? - if you can't sing you better sit down. - sing a song, ms. stuart. ms. stuart, please sing us the song you did in your last picture. that was a nice song. - buddy, knock it off, huh. - mr. layne, what's going on? - i don't know. i guess i better find out. - who are you, sinatra? - that's right. - (laughs) sinatra, yeah, sinatra. - now. - she's a phoney. - please go away. - she's a guest here now shut up. - i'm a tax payer you know. i came here to see celebrities. - it's alright folks, it's alright.

- betty, betty. excuse me. betty anderson, where are you going? - i want to go home. i never want to see hollywood again. - don't blame hollywood. you brought this on yourself. - i didn't mean any harm. - i know, honey. let's get back to the table. mr. layne says you're going on the air in 10 minutes. - do you think i could face all those people after what happened? - i most certainly do. and for a very good reason. you can't let mr. layne down. - everything's alright now, betty. i'm sorry it happened. he's just one of those crack pots that gives hollywood a bad name every once in a while. shall we go back in? - oh, betty, i've been looking all over for you. there's a long distance telephone call for you.

probably for ms. stuart. - well if it is springfield's calling. - we'll wait for you at the table, betty. - show her where they hide the telephone, bill. - come on, betty. - don't forget, betty, you've only got 10 minutes. - now don't worry about the time, i'll let you know. - princess, i tried to call you at your hotel, but i just missed you. i didn't want you to go on the air without wishing you luck. betty, are you there? - [betty] i'm here, father. father, i'm not going to be on television tonight after all. the show's been cancelled. i don't know why. there's no use watching.

(sobbing) that isn't true. i'm not going on because i'm too embarrassed. - what's the matter, honey? what is it? - i made a real spectacle of myself tonight. i ruined everything. i did everything i promised you i wouldn't do. i'm nothing but a great big phoney. (sobbing) - princess, listen to me. - believe me i don't want any of these memories in a scrapbook. - i don't know what happened, but i do know this. i love you just the way you are. that's what i've been trying to tell you. i don't want you like anybody else.

your family, your friends, you are a celebrity. that's a pretty large fan club. so you hold up that chin of yours. you go on the show tonight because, princess, you're a long way off, and i miss you, and i want to see you. - but what will i say or do? - all you have to do is be yourself. just plain old betty anderson of springfield. alright, honey. i'll be watching.

- [man on tv] thank you very much. you're late for work. you grab your 10-gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. right into your wife's car. with your wife watching. she forgives you... eventually. your insurance company, not so much. they say you only have their basic policy. don't basic policies cover basic accidents? of course, they say... as long as you pay extra for it. with a liberty mutual base policy, new car replacement comes standard. and for drivers with accident forgiveness,

due to your first accident. learn more by calling at liberty mutual, every policy is personal, with coverage and deductibles, customized just for you. which is why we don't offer any off-the-shelf policies. switch to liberty mutual and you could save up to $509. call liberty mutual for a free quote today at see car insurance in a whole new light.

thanks again. i'm sure everyone joins me in wishing you the best of luck with your new show. thank you. (clapping) - you're on next, betty. - alright. - and at this table, ladies and gentlemen, we have the lovely young lady who is the winner of the donna stuart twin contest, ms. betty anderson of springfield. (clapping) are you having a good time, betty?

- you know, i'll bet a lot of folks would like to know how it feels to suddenly become a celebrity overnight. - well, i'll tell you, mr. stout, i don't think anyone becomes a celebrity overnight. i'll admit i was sort of carried away with all the excitement and the attention. for a while i thought i was pretty important. people were asking me for my autograph and they were staring at me. but it wasn't because of anything i'd achieved. it was because i happen to look like someone who spent years of hard work becoming a real celebrity. that of course is ms. donna stuart.

better to be yourself rather than an imitation. i know now he was right. - betty, i know donna stuart as well as her fans will be proud to know she has such a lovely representative. thank you very much. (clapping) - mr. stout, may i say goodnight to my fan club? - well it's against broadcast regulations, but i think tonight we could make an exception. - good night, father. - night, princess. - goodnight, bud. - goodnight.

- night, betty. (audience laughing) - thank you, betty, and i'll say goodnight too. this is bill stout signing off from hollywood. reminding you to tune in again at the same time again next week. - as long as we're stuck with old betty, i guess we could do worse. (audience clapping) (orchestra music) [ ]

[ ] george, is it all right if i invite mr. and mrs. johnson to have dinner with us sunday? oh, yeah, mr. b., it's their wedding anniversary. well, uh, sure. he's giving her a gorgeous gold and jade necklace to go with that gorgeous bracelet he gave her for christmas. well, i hope she isn't counting on it. why not? because she isn't going to get it. oh, sure, she is, mr. b. it's going to be a surprise. and mr. johnson went downtown this morning to buy it. he didn't, and he isn't going to. why not? because he can't afford it. oh, george, the johnsons are very wealthy people. they got more money than they know what to do with. that's exactly the trouble. they don't know what to do with it. now, look, i wouldn't have mentioned this, except i didn't want hazel making matters worse by building up mrs. johnson's expectations. well, now that you have mentioned it, why don't you just tell us the whole story? i don't know the whole story, and, frankly, i don't want to. how are we gonna help 'em if we don't know what the trouble is? that's just it. we can't help them.

all i know is what charlie morton told me. he was in the jeweler's store this morning when mr. johnson got into an altercation with the owner. an altercation? it seems mr. johnson wrote a check, and evidently the amount was large enough for the jeweler to call the bank to make sure it was good. well, it wasn't. his bank account had been attached. his bank account attached? why? well, he cosigned a note for someone who left him holding the bag for $8,000. oh, that's terrible. now, what kind of an attorney does he have to let a thing like that happen? well, the johnsons don't have an attorney. why not? hazel, the johnsons of this world never have attorneys until it's too late. you see, what they actually need is a financial advisor just to handle their income. you should tell them that, george. [chuckling] oh, not me. they'd think i wanted that business, and, believe me, i don't. it would be a headache from start to finish. oh, but, mr. b., with you to take care of them, the johnsons wouldn't have a care in the world.

well, george, um, you could suggest someone else, a business management firm maybe. oh, no, nobody would be as good at it as mr. b. thank you, hazel. well, look at mr. griffin. he's a pain in the neck, and you take care of him all right. well, that's different. no, it ain't. hazel, the subject is closed, you understand? yes, sir. even if i would consider it, a proposition like this would have to come from the johnsons. oh, i suppose you're right, darling. oh, sure, he is, missy. i see his point. it wouldn't be ethical for him to bring it up himself. que sera, sera! oh! [sighs] oh, dear. hi, folks. i brought you over some of my parker house rolls right out from the oven. look at that. oh, say, that's one little piggy that ain't going to market again.

sit down. uh, uh... perhaps you can tell us what to do. now, now, my dear, we mustn't burden hazel with our troubles. but she always has such good ideas, herbert. we had a most unpleasant letter from the gas company today about a check we sent them. i intend to convert to electricity. serve them right for being so rude. oh, boy, you two are in real trouble. they're threatening to turn your check over to the d.a.'s office. you may even go to jail. nonsense. no johnson was ever incarcerated. you're forgetting ebenezer, herbert. that's debtors' prison, my dear, an entirely different matter. uh, they don't have debtors' prison anymore, do they, hazel? only for husbands. you're a husband, herbert. i won't let them take you. i... i couldn't live without you, herbert. oh, she means divorced husbands, my dear. there, there. whatever happens, we'll face it like johnsons.

well... [chuckles] i don't know what to say. but since you're asking me-- you are asking me, aren't you? 'cause, you know, i wouldn't want to bring up the subject myself. we're imploring you. well, uh... i ain't advising you, you understand, but, uh... yes? yes, hazel? please go on. well, i ain't mentioning no names, 'cause that wouldn't be ethical. but if i was in a fix like you, i'd just turn all my affairs over to... some good lawyer. george baxter! the very person, my dear. we'll go see him this evening right after dinner. well, i'm gonna run on. thanks so much, hazel. oh, that's all right. oh, it's so sweet of you, hazel, to put yourself out for us. i may have put myself out of my happy home. oh, mr. b., i brought you some after-dinner coffee.

mr. b.? yes? i don't want you to think i'm the kind that goes around blabbing what i hear at home. [chuckles] hazel, if i was harsh, i'm sorry. oh, no, you wasn't. um, well, you see, i know sometimes it seems like i'm always poking my nose into other people's business. hazel, please, if i was rude, i apologize. oh, no, i don't want an apology, mr. b. all i'm trying to tell you was that i went over to the johnsons, and i didn't say one solitary thing. good for you. until they brung it up themselves.

oh, dear. i do hope i didn't forget anything important. oh, don't worry about it, my dear. this should be quite enough to keep george occupied for one evening. [doorbell rings]

you can just tell 'em you're too busy. hazel, i told you. but i don't see how you could sleep at night, knowing your neighbors might go to jail. jail? yes. they passed some bum checks, and the gas company got three in a row. it ain't their fault if they ain't as smart as you, mr. b. [doorbell rings] dorothy: i'll get it! golly, if everybody was as smart as you, they wouldn't need a lawyer in the first place. and then where would you be? all right, all right. don't let 'em go to the hoosegow, mr. b. they ain't the criminal type. all right, i said. oh, how nice to see you. come on in. thank you, dorothy. uh, and how's dear little harold? oh, he's very well, thank you. uh, the doctor said he could get up for a while tomorrow. good. oh, just a few legal matters we'd like george to handle for us in his spare time. oh. oh, well, go on in and sit down. uh... thank you. george. how are they getting along? all right, i think. george is being very firm

all right. then it is agreed from now on i'll be in complete charge of your finances. absolutely. fine. to start with, you'll each get a small cash allowance. we'll figure out how much as soon as your present difficulties are disposed of. but all charge accounts and credit cards are to be canceled. now, i'll cosign all checks, household and otherwise. and you won't put your name to so much as a laundry list without my permission. now, is that agreed? oh, certainly, my boy. isn't this exciting? you know, we've never been on a budget before. fine. well, i don't think there's much more we can do tonight. i'll draw up a power of attorney for you to sign the first thing in the morning. and i'll, uh, do my best. in the meantime, try not to worry. oh, we shan't, george, not with you at the helm. [chuckles] w-wait a minute. wait.

do you realize what this is? i believe i-- oh, yes. my aunt clara sent it to us years ago. herbert, you remember. she told us to hang on to it. oh, yes, said it might amount to something someday. amount to something? well, your aunt clara was absolutely right. these ten shares represent at least 80-- well, i think there was another split i'm not counting. it might be even more. but let's say 80 shares at 94 and a quarter. that's-- well, you have a small fortune right here. [gasps] you mean, we are rich again? oh, how nice. i knew we'd come to the right man. oh, let's go break the good news to hazel. oh, there may be some more shares in there, harriet. no, dear. come along, now. you run right along, and i'll be with you. that's right. uh... george. yes? [whispering] george. yes? it's our wedding anniversary on sunday, and i was wondering if you would let me have

to buy herbert a gift. certainly. [chuckles] here you are. thank you. right there. george, not that teensy. $10 is all you're going to get, mrs. johnson. but you said we were rich. oh, yes, but there may be other surprises in these cartons not all as pleasant as this one. oh, but, george, i've already got herbert's gift picked out and-- good night, mrs. johnson. ge-- oh, dear. [sighs] mr. b., you want me to fix you some lunch out on the terrace? it's a gorgeous day. i'll fix you a nice green salad and-- hazel, uh, bring me a sandwich and a glass of milk. and get that dog out of here. oh, go on outside, smiley. go on. you want me to empty this for you, mr. b.? you sure you wanna throw this away? it looks important to me.

oh. [chuckles] [groans] hazel, look at this and that. do you know what these are? stocks and bonds worth at least $15,000. there's $5,000 in negotiable bonds alone, all tossed into these cartons along with outdated insurance policies, uh, theater programs, their marriage license-- no, smiley, no. [whining] okay, mr. b., if smiley has this? okay, fine. okay, smiley, you go take it and put it in your toy box. go on. atta good boy. [sighs] i've never seen such a mixed-up-- [doorbell rings] oh, i better get that, mr. b.

[daughter] sometimes the hallways felt like a giant maze. [mother] jenny didn't feel like going to school, and she slept during the day and was up at night. she seemed irritable all the time. [daughter] it felt like there was a weight on my shoulders. and the weight was really hard to hold up. [mother] one day my daughter was crying, that's when jenny told us she thought about hurting herself. [daughter] then my parents got me treatment. that's when the bad feelings started to go away. oh, hi, mr. johnson. come on in. good morning, hazel. beautiful day, isn't it? and how's little harold? oh, he's got an appetite like an elephant. [laughs] and he's driving us crazy, wanting to get up.

i-- i wonder if i might speak to george for a moment. i'd like an advance on my allowance. oh, i-- he hasn't even figured out what your allowance is gonna be yet, mr. johnson. if i was you, i wouldn't ask him a thing like that just now. impossible, hazel. i must buy harriet's anniversary present today. you see, i, uh-- mr. johnson, who is g.w. chapman? chapman? you signed this partnership agreement with him two years ago "for the manufacture and the distribution of the wondo automatic can opener." oh, yes, yes, the inventor fellow. brilliant chap. his can opener was quite a device. ran on gasoline. a can opener? for households without electricity. mr. johnson, do you realize that by signing this kind of contract you have made yourself liable for all debts incurred by your partner? i have? you have. and furthermore-- well, i-- i'll discuss it later this afternoon

i'll have everything drawn up by then, and it'll be ready for your signature. now, ain't you glad you didn't ask mr. b. for an advance? just following your advice, hazel, which is sound, as usual. i know him pretty well. oh, it's much wiser for you to ask him. me? oh, no. he'd bite my head off. i must have $1,800 today, hazel. i really must. but, mr. johnson, if you ain't got it-- of course, i have it somewhere. george said so himself. now, as my financial advisor, it's up to him to find it. but, mr. johnson-- this evening will be ample time. the stores stay open late tonight, so don't worry. but, mr. johnson-- you'll manage, hazel. you always do. oh, that's wonderful, just wonderful. well, we aren't out of the woods yet, but you certainly can meet your present obligations.

did you ask him? this envelope contains the stocks and some bonds i found in your other papers. would you look them over, please? and then sign this memo which lists them by name and face value, and also this, which authorizes me to dispose of them on your behalf if i should find it necessary to do so. [whining] oh, no, smiley, these ain't for you. you go play with harold. [chuckles] [laughs] isn't this exciting? have a cookie? oh, thank you. do you know where smiley is? no, harold, i don't. but if you want to watch television for a while before dinner, why don't you put your robe on and your slippers?

[barks] [whining] and, uh, by these presents are hereby dissolved, nullified and rescinded. honey, it's past midnight. i think it's terrible for you to have to work so late. [sighs] just finishing. i didn't want to miss my golf game with harry noll tomorrow. dorothy... dorothy... where are those bonds? you know, the brown envelope with the stocks and bonds in it? they were right here this afternoon. don't get excited, darling. we'll find them. don't get excited? those bonds are negotiable. anybody could go to the bank and cash them. now, i'm responsible. i got to find them. where are they? they're here someplace. they are not here! hazel! hazel, where are those bonds? hazel! what's the matter? he doesn't know where he put some bonds. i do know where i put them. they were in a brown envelope tied with a brown cord. i showed them to the johnsons this afternoon.

oh, maybe they fell down behind the desk, george. there is something down here. oh. did you find them? oh, it's just a bunch of old valentines. here you are, mr. b. oh, sport, button your shirt. you can't take a chance of getting cold your first day up. aw, mr. b., you ain't eating your eggs. here, hazel. [whining] hey, what's the matter with everybody this morning? nothing, dear. we're just not hungry, that's all. i wish i'd caught harold's chicken pox. [sobs] son, i want you to listen to me very carefully. did you see a brown envelope, so thick, so long, tied with a brown cord?

no. maybe smiley can find it for you. i've been training him to be a bloodhound. can i go outside and play? finish your breakfast, harold. i'm finished. go get your ball, smiley. [barks] well, i have to call the johnsons and tell them what happened. can't you wait a little while, mr. b.? they must be here somewheres. i checked all the doors and windows. nobody could have gotten in to steal 'em. there wasn't nobody here yesterday but us and the johnsons. george, what are we going to tell the johnsons? where are we going to find the money to pay them back? don't worry, honey. it won't be easy, but we'll handle it. mr. b., you can take it out of my salary, ten bucks a week. hazel, you didn't lose the bonds. i did. but thanks for the offer. yeah, but you wouldn't be in this fix if it wasn't for me. [doorbell rings]

alall. we've come to show you our presents. did you ever see anything so lovely? it just matches her favorite bracelet. look, george. oh, you should have worn it, my dear, so that they could see them together. oh, it's at the jeweler's being cleaned, herbert. now, show them what i gave you. oh, yes, yes. an 1851 $50 gold piece. just what i needed to round out my collection, and in remarkable condition. a beauty, isn't it? i-is anything the matter? where did you get the money to buy these? oh, don't worry, george. i didn't write a check. uh, where did you get the money, herbert? now, now, my dear, don't you bother your pretty head wi-- where did you get the money, harriet? oh, well, that's not important. it's the thought that matters. it is very important.

mr. johnson? now, look here, george, i'll admit as our financial advisor you have a right to ask certain questions, but i don't think this is the time or place. you better tell him, mr. johnson. well, it's a long story. make it short. well, by a happy coincidence, after i left here yesterday afternoon, i ran into a chap who owed me some money, and he paid me. oh. you mean... you just happened to run into him, and he paid you $1,800? well, what's so strange about that? mrs. johnson, what is your explanation? where did you get the money to buy that coin? i won it playing bingo. harriet. well, i'm just not going to tell. well, if they won't admit it... what you folks don't seem to realize is, you're putting mr. b. in a terrible spot.

we'll all forgive and forget, won't we, mr. b.? i don't understand. took what bonds? who did? you mean, neither of you did take those bonds? honestly? please, mr. johnson, mrs. johnson. it's terribly important to tell the truth. well, if you promise not to be angry with me, herbert. i-- i sold my jade bracelet. you didn't? harriet, my dear. oh, i know it was a terrible thing to do, but i did so want to give you a nice present, herbert, and i knew how much you wanted that coin. mr. johnson. please, mr. johnson, the money for that necklace, where did you get it? i sold part of my coin collection. but i don't understand it.

and you, mr. b., and missy and harold... and smiley. he was right there in the den with us yesterday. oh! oh, it ain't there. i was sure he took it. oh, so did i. oh, george. well, maybe he did, and somebody found 'em. they could be anywhere. [barking] smiley, where are those bonds? my dad's gonna be mad at ya. cut it out. dad's gonna be mad at you. dig, boy, dig! attaboy, smiley! dig! that's a good dog.

oh, it is! [laughing] it's the bonds! good old smiley. [laughs] how come you're not mad at him for digging up the garden? oh, well, your dad ain't mad with anybody now, are you, mr. b.? i ought to be. i ought to be mad at everyone, but right now i'm too relieved to remember why. [george laughing] that's a boy! [laughing] [ [ ]

[ ] [knocking at door] come in. well, lester morton. how are ya? i'm just fine, hazel. how are you? i'm fine. well, you're just in time for a cup of coffee. oh, thanks. i was hoping you'd ask me for coffee. well, what do you know about that? how's the employment agency business? hazel, you wouldn't want to quit your job here and go to work for one of my clients, would you? oh, i see. is it that good, that you have to go around stealing other people's help? [chuckles] that's right. and besides, i want all the best housekeepers in town under my colors, in my own stable, so to speak. oh, i see. well, if i ever wanna go in a stable, i'll let you know. [chuckles] it's just a figure of speech. actually, hazel, business is so good that i've decided to sponsor a contest. i need your help. oh. what kind of a contest?

it's a little promotional idea of mine. it should bring me a lot of good publicity. here. i brought you an entry blank. oh, well, i'm so busy. and besides, i'm getting kind of tired of entering contests. i thought you liked contests, hazel. yeah, sure, i used to. but all you done is talk about how much good this is gonna do you. you haven't said a thing about what it's gonna do for the contestants. oh. oh. oh, yes. [chuckles] well, the first prize is two trips to the new york world's fair. the new york world's fair? oh, boy! well, what are we waiting for? give me your pen. you said just the right word. [laughs] all i gotta do is write in a hundred words what a terrific housekeeper i am and why i deserve the prize. and the teachers from the homemaking class in the high school are gonna be the judges. well, it sounds simple enough. yeah. and the ten best essays get a prize, and then they go on to be finalists.

no, two trips on a jet plane. that sounds very exciting, hazel. well, i wouldn't mind winning a prize like that myself. are you sure you can get along without me for a few days? hazel, believe me, if you win this contest, we'll be more than happy to give you the time off. [chuckles] harold's birthday is coming up in a little while, and i thought maybe-- hazel, you mean you'd be willing to take harold with you? well, i can't think of anybody i'd rather take. that's very generous of you, hazel. [chuckles] then it's all settled, except for one little thing. what little thing is that? now i gotta win the contest. [phone rings] hello. oh, just a moment. harold, it's mr. morton. who? mr. morton. where's hazel? hazel! she's out in the backyard talking to rosie. i'll get her. she'll be here in just a moment, mr. morton. oh, really? oh, how exciting. hazel will be so thrilled. yeah? oh, here she is now.

oh, uh, i am? i wh--? i did? i will? oh, boy! i'm one of the finalists in the contest. they picked my essay. oh! well, ask them about my essay. i-- i won a prize? an electric can opener? well, what about me? oh, what about the other finalists, lester? oh, well, uh, mrs. masters, yes, i know. she's the housekeeper at the richardsons. yeah, all right, lester. i'll be ready when the judges get here. the judges didn't pick your essay. i guess they didn't like your literary style, rosie. eh! see if i care. sure. what do you care? you can bring your cans over here and use my can opener. oh, hazel burke, you can just keep your old can opener. oh, rosie, you don't have to be so huffy about it. that's the way the wheel of fortune spins. round and round she goes, and where she stops-- did you say the judges were going to come here? oh, sure. lester says they're going to be going

well, i just hope they don't find your sink all full of dirty dishes. don't you worry. it's gonna be so terrific, they're gonna wonder if anybody ever lived here. [laughs] well, suppose the judges come today or tomorrow morning. oh, they wouldn't do a thing like that without letting know. hazel, they won't give you any warning at all. they won't? well, of course not. they want to see what your house looks like on an average day, not after you've gone and gussied everything all up. you think so? well, of course. oh, listen, rosie, you better get going 'cause i haven't got time to talk to you anymore now. well, say, what's the big idea? you said that they want to see this house as it looked on an average day, didn't ya? well, yes, but-- well, then i gotta get busy and have it look like it looks when it's average, if i have to stay up all night. why are you cleaning, hazel? oh, sport, what are you doing up? it's way past your bedtime. i couldn't sleep. would it be cheating if i helped ya? oh, no. no, it wouldn't be cheating,

if he knew you was down here. you better go upstairs and get back to bed. i couldn't sleep, hazel, honest. tell me some more about the world's fair. oh, well, they say it's terrific, sport. they say they got dinosaurs, and they're just as big as this house. and then there's a ride called the magic skyway. it takes you right into the future. and then we'll take a trip underwater where they have south sea pearl divers. and then there's a big octopus that tries to reach out and grab you. [laughs] shh. and there's real porpoises that do stunts for you. and there's a whole circus you can go to. and then you can go on the santa maria just like christopher columbus.

you both have a perfect driving record. >>perfect. no tickets. no accidents... >>that is until one of you clips a food truck, ruining your perfect record. >>yup... now, you would think your insurance company would cut you some slack, right? >>no. your insurance rates go through the roof. your perfect record doesn't get you anything. >>anything. perfect! for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. and if you do have an accident, our claim centers are available to assist you 24/7. for a free quote, call liberty mutual at switch to liberty mutual and

call today at see car insurance in a whole new light. liberty mutual insurance. [car door closes] hazel, i think it's the judges. [doorbell rings]

please come in. thank you. i'm miss burke's employer, mrs. baxter. i am miss dart, and this is mrs. plunkett... how do you do? how do you do? from the homemaking class at the high school. ah. perhaps miss burke has told you that she is a contestant in the housekeeper of the month contest. yes, she mentioned something about it, yes. well, mrs. plunkett and i are here to judge miss burke's qualifications. well, i can vouch for the fact that hazel is a magnificent worker. that, mrs. baxter, is only one of the things on which miss burke will be judged. in addition, we will examine her attitude, willingness to work, and her alertness and attention to detail. well, uh, please sit down, and i'll go and get her. why don't we come with you? why don't you?

well, she must have dozed off. hazel? oh. hmm. i must have dropped off to sleep. hazel. i guess it's the late hours i've been keeping, huh, sport? hazel? oh. y-you ain't the two ladies that are gonna judge me in the contest, are you? oh. oh. [chuckles] well, ain't that nice?

hmm. [clears throat] hey, i just made that bed up fresh this morning. we want you to make it again, miss burke, just as fast as you can. oh, you mean, sort of a speed test? speed and efficiency. not yet! ready... set... go! they're sure quiet up there. [whispers] harold, shh. why don't they make any noise?

oh, harold, i certainly hope not. seventy-four seconds. not exactly a record, but within acceptable limits. very well. shall we carry on? dorothy, there's a strange car in our driveway. shh! the judges are here for hazel's contest. oh. how's it going? i don't know, but they've been here for two hours. i believe that will be all, miss burke. and thank you very much. well, thank you, miss dart. oh, uh, mr. b. [chuckles] uh, i'd like you to meet mrs. plunkett and miss dart. they're the judges in the housekeeping contest. this is my employer, mr. baxter. how do you do? how do you do? well, if you're all through with me, i'll get back to work. you know, a mother works from sun to sun, but a housekeeper's work is never done. [chuckles] uh, well, come on, sport.

into the living room and sit down?

we'd do without hazel. would you say that hazel knows how to keep her place? i mean, does she thoroughly understand who's boss? with hazel around, uh... there is never the slightest doubt who the boss is. does hazel ever stick her nose into other people's affairs, or hand out advice when it isn't asked? hazel does have her own opinion about things, and she often shares them with us. would you say that hazel is enterprising when the situation calls for it? i can say that hazel is one of the most enterprising people i have ever known. very well. well, we must go. mr. baxter, mrs. baxter, thank you.

i am afraid not. that wouldn't be fair to the other contestants. miss burke will be notified of the outcome not later than 6 p.m. next wednesday. what do you think, hazel? i don't know. miss dart don't sound too crazy about me. aw, don't say that, hazel. we're still gonna win. well, all i know is, if i lost that contest because i was asleep when the judges got here, i ought to be sent a lot further than the world's fair, and on a one-way ticket. come on. ring. maybe it's busted. "broken." how can a phone be busted? come on. ring. will you please tell me what you're doing? the judges said they'd call me wednesday at 6:00. [doorbell rings] hello? they hung up. telegram for miss hazel burke. thank you. well, maybe this is what you've been waiting for.

well, you could open it. oh. [laughs] well, here goes. oh, boy. [chuckles] oh-hoo! yippee! we won! really, hazel? well, almost. listen. "you have tied for first place in the housekeeping contest with mrs. louise masters." that's eddie's mother. he's my pal. "judge decided the only way to break tie is to have bake-off saturday morning, 10 a.m., high school cooking class. congratulations. lester morton." a bake-off? nobody bakes better than hazel. oh, now,w,on, don't get your hopes up too high. this other lady could be pretty good, too. hazel, uh, do you know anything about this mrs. masters? well, she's new in town, but i know she's a widow, and the girls say she's awful good. oh, don't worry, hazel. we can't lose now. well... [laughs] i don't know whether we can't lose. all i know is that if i do lose,

flunking an art class. [laughs] who's he? well, never mind, sport. you come on out in the kitchen, and we'll bake a cake just to keep in shape. ladies, we are gathered here to witness a bake-off between the two finalists in our contest, housekeeper of the month, sponsored by the... [clears throat] the morton agency for domestic help. our two finalists, miss hazel burke... [applause] and mrs. louise masters... [applause] are deadlocked in competition. now, in order to help us pick the grand prize winner, the ladies will bake a pineapple chiffon cake using their own recipes and ingredients. they will be judged on the basis of technique and neatness

very well, ladies. you may start when i tell you. and may the best lady win. ready. go. good luck. this is exciting, isn't it, harold? mm-hmm, but hazel's bound to win. she is neither gonna win. my mother's gonna win, and we're going to the world's fair. your mother isn't half as good a cook as hazel. yeah? how come you know so much about it? all right, boys. enough. now, mrs. masters and hazel are both good cooks. and it's going to be very difficult for the judges to pick a winner.

ladies, since the fat is in the fire, so to speak... [chuckles] may i suggest that you all adjourn to the refreshment table to await the outcome of the contest? thank you.

eddie, you're not supposed to be here. now, go over and get some refreshments, huh? okay, mother. well, i guess it's out of our hands now, isn't it? oh, so you can talk, after all. i didn't mean to be unfriendly. i just didn't want anything to distract me, miss burke. oh, that's okay, mrs. masters. i've been busy, too. you can just call me hazel. louise. you know, eddie has his heart so set on my winning this contest, that i don't know how i can face him if i were to lose. oh, i know. harold expects me to tie a ribbon around the world's fair and give it to him for a birthday present. [laughs] well, eddie's father died six months ago. yes, i know. well, it's just been the two of us since then, and eddie's taken it pretty hard. and when i heard about this contest, i thought the trip might help him to... well, forget. excuse me. and i had to go and bake the best pineapple chiffon cake

[clicks tongue, sighs] you do all this research on a perfect car then smash it into a tree. your insurance company raises your rates. maybe you should have done more research on them. for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. just one of the many features that comes standard with our base policy. call for a free quote today. see car insurance in a whole new light.

friends, the moment we have been awaiting is almost at hand. in a few minutes, we will discover which of these ladies is our grand prize winner. [kitchen timer dings] woman: oh, beautiful. oh! that looks very good, mrs. masters. [kitchen timer dings] and now for miss burke's cake.

we won! we won! well, i must say the stalemate appears to be broken. congratulations, mrs. masters. and bon voyage from the morton employment agency. oh! [applause] [chattering] hazel, what happened? well, i don't know. i guess we'll have to use this as a doorstop. you told me we couldn't lose, hazel. i'm sorry, sport. what about lee dinardo the vaninsky? well... [laughs] i guess he was a better artist than i am a cook. i still can't believe it. hazel's never had a cake fall in her life. oh, george baxter, do you think for one minute that that cake just fell?

that hazel lost this contest on purpose? now, who'd like a nice piece of pineapple chiffon cake? i just baked it. you know, if at first you don't succeed... hazel, did you know that mrs. masters lost her husband recently? oh, yes, it seems i did hear something about that. hazel, what would happen if someone accidentally turned the oven off before the cake had finished rising? oh, it would fall flatter than a pancake, but there's no such thing as that happening accidentally. anybody that did that would have to be awful dumb. sport... [chuckles] i guess you're pretty mad at me, huh? no, hazel, i'm not mad at all. y-you ain't? can i tell hazel the good news? what good news? we're going to the world's fair. dad's taking us next summer. now we can all go instead of just you and me. you want me to go, too, mr. b.? you, too, hazel.

instead of getting fired for letting my cake fall, i'm going to the world's fair. [laughs] i think we're all entitled to one mistake, hazel. come on. we better get started. where are we going, hazel? well, your dad said he's taking us to the world's fair, didn't he? we gotta start packing. summer's only ten months away. we can't wait till the last minute. [laughs] [ ] [ ] [music] hey, look.