oh, that sounds exciting. ha. uh-- uh, what does it mean? militar-- oh. oh, it's, um-- well, we study ancient battles and, uh, how they were planned, and the mistakes that were made, and so forth. oh, what are you going to talk about? i'll be talking about the napoleonic wars and waterloo, and the, uh, russian invasion. oh, i've never heard of them. you mean, you're not interested in history? oh, history is so dull, master. dull? the napoleonic wars? uh-- uh, marat? uh, mme. pompadour? uh-- marie antoinette saying to the starving peasants, "let them eat cake," you call that dull? did she say that at waterloo, master? no. no. no, jeannie. uh, at waterloo, wellington defeated napoleon bonaparte. oh, i have heard of napoleon. oh, really. i should hope so. as a matter of fact, there's a picture in here somewhere. oh, yeah-- the-- here-- there's a picture of him. jeannie: why does he have his hand in his jacket, master? well, i don't know why-- [scoffs]

that ever lived. he saved france and started to bring democracy to all of europe. and then what happened? well, he was-- he was badly advised. he trusted a general named pichegru. and this pichegru later tried to kill napoleon. i think that it was he that persuaded napoleon that he could conquer the whole world. i wish i could have just one hour with napoleon. well, i'll see you. [chattering] [people laughing] jeannie, what-- what are you doing? look at all the lovely dresses, master. yes, yes-- say-- there's napoleon. that's napoleon bonaparte. oh, yes, of course. you said you wished to spend an hour with him, master. go talk. i didn't know i could do it now. oh, you have no medals. huh, i don't need-- need any medals. ah. oh. [giggles] oh. thank you. oh. lovely. huh? jeannie, jeannie... this is going a little too far.

no, i mean it. one. [clicks tongue, whines] [giggles] oh, boy. thank you, jeannie. do you know, this is the greatest thing you've ever done? oh. i can change the whole course of history. well, enjoy yourself, master. i-- i will go around and explore the palace, and look at the dresses. [giggles] oh, master, there's a lovely one. bye-bye. bye. [clears throat] uh, pardon me. i-i don't mean to intrude. uh, my name is major anthony nelson. you don't know me, but i certainly know you. you're "the little corporal." execute him.

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[ ] w-wait, wait. now, please. i-- take it easy. i, uh-- i don't mean to offend you, sir. everybody calls you "the little corporal." those who do regret it. i have some very valuable information. as a matter of fact, the fate of europe may depend on your listening to me. the fate of europe?

uh, well, no one sent me. i-i-- i came with a friend. well... [clears throat] ...as a matter of fact, i was about to deliver a lecture on you this morning. a lecture? what is this? pichegru, get rid of him. at once, sire. pichegru. p-- i wouldn't do that if i were you, mr. napoleon. i-- this man is about to assassinate you. general pichegru? [chuckles] take him out of here! hold on a minute. wait, wait, wait! this man amuses me. i want to speak to him alone. nappy. ah, my dear. i don't believe we've met. uh, major, uh-- oh, n-nelson. major anthony nelson. you're the empress josephine, aren't you? oh. oh, i love that speech you made about, "let them eat cake." oh, that was very kind of you. that was marie antoinette. oh. well, i-- i'm sorry. i was never very good at history. [all chuckle] come, major. tell me some more of those funny stories. [chuckles] oh, yes. is he not wonderful? who is he? oh, major nelson is a-- an expert on military strategy.

oh, yes. he has some wonderful advice for napoleon bonaparte. about what? oh, it... has something to do with war. war? hm. what i really want to warn you about is russia. what about russia? well, the russian campaign's a mistake. what russian campaign? you're going to attack it. attack russia? are you mad? now, you mustn't go through with it, sir. if you attack russia, you're gonna suffer one of the worst defeats in history. napoleon, defeated? yes. i'm coming to that. you're coming to what? oh, uh-- uh, waterloo. don't fight wellington there. if you do, you'll-- you'll end up being sent to elba. never mind elba. so you think it will be a mistake for me to turn europe into an empire?

i must think about this. well, you'll never regret talking to me, sir. we will talk again later. join the others. there's plenty of food and drink. yes, yes. oh, i've, uh, been meaning to ask you about, uh-- these wool uniforms. tell general pichegru i want him immediately. attack russia. it would be an insanity. the man is mad. mad or a spy. but who would've sent him? russia, of course. i've been thinking of russia. the hungry iceberg waiting to destroy an unwary army. and suddenly this clumsy spy comes to me and tells me not to attack it. oh, why would russia send him here to tell you that? for only one reason, my dear pichegru. it could be that the iceberg is not as terrifying as it seems. russia must have something to fear.

we will attack! and it shall be my greatest victory. as you wish, sire. and what shall we do with this spy? [blows] it certainly is a pleasure meeting you, madam. of course. i've read a great deal about you, but i must say, you're much more beautiful than your paintings. am i? yes. [chuckles] master? [coughs] may i speak with you a moment, please? "master"? yes. yeah, it's a pet name. ah. would you excuse me, please? [clears throat] pardon me. jeannie, um... i'm busy. mm. so i see. ye-- what do you want? master, you wish to change the course of history. yes. then i think you have done it. what do you mean?

he thinks you're a spy, and he's going to kill you. no, no, no. i'm sure you misunderstood him. yes, he is. i had a long talk with him. he was very amenable to everythi-- we-- now, fellas. wait a minute. wait. napoleon. [man speaks indistinctly] you are new? oh, no, no, no. i am old. i mean, you are new at my court? oh, yes, sir. but, of course, it is a very old court. ha. you are very beautiful. oh, thank you. what is your name, my child? oh-- uh, jeannie. jeannie? uh-huh. well, jeannie. i would like to see and talk to you, and get to know you better. and perhaps, we could meet later tonight? oh. i am afraid not. uh-- a friend of mine is in terrible trouble. i could get your friend out of trouble. oh. no, thank you. but you are going to bmuch too busy worrying about russia.

you guys can't go around hitting an officer. what's the matter-- go in the cell. get in there. what time is this, uh-- [makes cutting sound]

sorry, madam. no visitors. oh. wha--? i'm sorry i am late, master, but your friend napoleon bonaparte wanted to talk with me. yes? he asked me to return later. [giggles] well, are you ready to go home now? yeah, we can't go now.

no, no. i mean we can't go and leave napoleon in the lurch like this. oh, but he thinks you're a spy. he will not listen to you. yeah. that's right. jeannie. hm? you can make him listen. i? yes, yes. didn't you say he wanted you to return? yes. did he seem interested in you? well... yes. but you are the only man that i-- i want you to go to his palace. oh, but why? because you've got to convince him that if he starts a war, it's gonna lead to a catastrophe. now, you think you can do that? oh. but i do not know anything about war, master. [chuckles] but you know something about men. [giggles] i do. i want you to flatter him. he has a tremendous ego. uh, you've got to make him think that all of this is his idea. jeannie... this is a tremendously important mission. oh, master. are you choosing me for this mission because i am the only one in the world who can do it? i'm choosing you for this mission

now, pop over to the palace and go to work on him. go to work on him. yes, master. and do not worry. i will handle it brilliantly. and remember, be subtle. he's got to think it's his idea. oh, i am probably the most subtle genie in the whole world. [both chuckling] oh. that's my girl. oh. what does "subtle" mean? go! our troops will march in through here, toward the soft underbelly of europe, and into the caucasus. no, pichegru. i have changed my mind. but why? russia sits on europe like a sleepy bear, ready to devour anything that comes near it. only a fool would attack. then what do we do about this, uh, major nelson, the spy? we have no proof that he was sent by russia. i am back. oh, what a pleasant surprise. ha-ha. you have met general pichegru? this is mademoiselle jeannie.

to try to kill napoleon, and he is going to have you strangled. but she's outrageous, sire. but so beautiful. oh. [giggles] pichegru, would you excuse us? you, uh-- you would not, uh, change your mind? no, call all the plans off. as you command, sire. i thought you were not coming. you said you had to help a friend. oh, but i am helping him. that is why i am here. but i don't understand. oh, major nelson sent me here to work on you. to work on me? yes. but he said that i must be subtle. what does "subtle" mean? it means honest. it means that you must tell me everything major nelson said. oh. well, he said that it was very important that i try to talk you out of attacking russia, but that you must think that it is your own idea, because you have a tremendous ego. is that subtle enough? indeed it is.

so he's trying to trick napoleon into not declaring war. any fool can see that the bear is sleeping. oh. waititg to fall into the hands of an invading army. nothing shall stop me. thank you, my dear. oh, you are welcome. what did i do? you have reminded me of france's glorious destiny. [rings bell] nothing shall stop france from ruling the world. oh. arrest this woman. oh, am i going to the bastille? i'm afraid so. oh, thank you. mwah. [laughs] come along. ["la marseillaise" playing] [keys jingling]

thank heavens you're back, jeannie. i knew you could do it. [door locks] i said to myself-- what went wrong? nothing, master. i was very subtle. i told him everything. you-- you told him everything? it is all fixed. it's all fixed. napoleon has decided not to attack russia. ha. good girl. he is going to attack a big bear instead. [chuckles] oh. oh. you're kidding. may we go home now, master? no. what am i gonna do? [snaps] wait a minute, wait a minute. i got one last chance. i've got to get to josephine. oh, believe me, master, she's much too old for you. she's the only one napoleon will listen to. now, if i can just talk to her, yeah, i'm sure she'll help. oh, master, would it not be much simpler if we just went home? no, we can't leave him like this. can you get josephine here? well, if that is what you wish. that is what i wish. [sighs] thank you.

oh. you have five minutes. i received a message that you wish to see me about my husband. the messenger said it was life and death. yes. he's absolutely right. uh-- your husband is about to make a terrible mistake. now, you've got to stop him from attacking russia. oh, i do not mix in his majesty's military affairs. well, if you don't use your influence, he's gonna wind up on elba. elba? that's the island where they're gonna exile him. you are joking. of course, you won't be there. he'll be married to louise, but still i-- louise? he's going to escape from elba, raise an army, and fight wellington at waterloo. and believe me, he's going to lose. who is this "louise"? the important thing is you've got to convince napoleon not to go into battle. how long has he known her? who? louise! gosh, i don't know. will you talk to napoleon? no. n-- no? but you're the only chance i have--

i love him more than life itself. but how do i know that anything you're saying is true. can you prove that they are going to exile him to elba? well, no, i can't prove it. i-- uh, perhaps if you can tell me who this louise is, i could find out whether you are lying, or whether you really know what's going to happen. you-- you mean, if i could show her to you, you'd believe me? perhaps. her name is marie louise, and she's the daughter of the empress of austria. he has never mentioned her to me. do you think you can find her? [keys jingling] don't worry. i'll find her. yeah. thank you very much. uh-- you don't have a moment to lose. have you finished, your majesty? yes. for now. master. oh. how did it go? oh, just fine. i think i finally found a way to persuade josephine that i'm telling the truth. we can help napoleon now.

that i should have let you go to your lecture this morning. yeah. [keys jingling] ah. did you find her? oh, mais oui, monsieur. but first, i want to be very sure of what you have told me. this marie louise of austria and my husband are in love, and are going to be married? oh, yes. oh, yes. they're madly in love. [chuckles] bring her in. [baby giggles] ah. ah- ha-ha-ha-ha. hi there, huh? [makes baby noises] who-- who's this? she-- this is the princess marie louise of austria. take her away. happy guillotine, monsieur. hey. wait. uh, wait a minute-- uh-- i-i-i made a mistake. i-i got the dates mixed up. if you just wait 18 years, i assure you, they're gonna be married. happily. ah! master. [sighs] when i was at the palace,

oh, i would love to have a new dress. is that all you think of, is dresses? you never take me to paris, master. and while we are here, let me get one new dress. yeah, would you forget the dresses-- i will be back in a few minutes. yeah, but-- jeannie, you can't leave me now. they're gonna come for me any minute. i'm not kidding. they're gonna cut my head off. now, come on back. [footsteps] "major anthony nelson, "by the order of the emperor of france-- you're bringing a pardon. right. [laughs] i knew it. but... yes, yes? first you are being guillotined!

listen, i want to see a lawyer. come on, monsieur. up, up, up. where do you think you are? believe me, monsieur. it will be over in less than a minute. i'm not interested in your timetable. i demand to see napoleon bonaparte. you are really not in a position to demand anything, are you? take him, executioner. oh! come on! we would like to see you die. [tony shouting] hey. hey, you. come here. listen, you're making a mistake, fella. i'm on detached duty to nasa. go on! down! [grunts] monsieur. do you have any last words? just one. jeannie! [whimpering] jeannie--! jeannie! yeah-- [grunting] jeannie! get me out of here. jeannie, where are you? here it is, master.

oh, yes, it's just gorgeous. now, would you mind taking this thing off of me. huh? hm? oh. yes. [sighs] oh, thank you. thank you very much. uh-- oh, would you mind? here. the ropes too, huh? hm? oh. oh. thank you. thank you very much. j-jeannie, can't you do anything right? oh, i am sorry, master, but... after all, i am only human. it's us, mom! hi, grandma. hi, honey. go finish your homework before practice, okay? yup, okay ... groceries ... prescription ... and your books are back at the library. i don't know how you do all this for me with everything you have on your plate. mom, just because you can't drive these days doesn't mean you've stopped needing things. please know how much i appreciate it. i know, mom, and it's okay. look, i know how much of a burden i've become- you're not a burden, mom! -well, i just want to do something to make sure

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what are you writing, master? oh, just a minute. there. read it. jeannie: "able was i ere i saw elba." mm-hm. huh. well, what does it mean? oh. well, when you spell it backwards, it comes out exactly the same. "able was i, e, r--" eh-- oh, "i saw"-- [laughs] oh. it does. yes. oh, you're a genius, master. oh, no.

that lecture on napoleon. are you. why? well...i was wrong about one thing. you remember i said that napoleon was a great general, but he had bad advice? yes, master. well, i was wrong there. he had-- he had great advice. he just wouldn't listen. [both laugh] w-w-what is wrong, master? hm? oh, it's these darn wool uniforms. oh. oh, yeah. yeah. right-- right below the shoulder blade, huh. [ ] [ ] tomorrow night? no, no, no, i'm busy. roge. busy, yes. uh, how 'bout next week, okay? [sighs] yes, you know i love you. goodbye, mother. well, what's up? how would you like to fly to maryland with me? maryland? do we have a mission? i do, i'm getting married. you're kidding. [chuckling] yeah. i'm marrying jeannie. jeannie? yeah. our jeannie?

now, listen to me. now, listen to me very closely. jeannie's done something to you to make you think you're going to marry her. but you're not, because i'm going to save you. yeah, roger, i want to marry her. come on, you gotta snap out of it! you're under a spell, can you hear me? roger, roger! i can hear you, there's no spell. the whole thing was my idea. your idea? are you kidding? you know you can't marry jeannie. she's a genie. well, she's not gonna be a genie anymore. i just found out. if she marries a mortal, she stops being a genie. yeah, who told you that? i read it in a book. yeah, well, i bet she-- she wrote the book. oh, brother. oh, wait a minute. oh, well, let's not rush into these things. why don't you think about it for a couple of years, then you can marry her-- roger, i'm marrying jeannie. now, are you gonna be my best man? well, if i can't stop you, i might as well join you. thanks, roge. got yourself a best man. well, thanks. i'll, uh, also keep myself available for your court-martial.

once jeannie and i are married, she'll be an average, everyday housewife. uh, what time are we leaving? look at this. huh? what time are we leaving? four o'clock plane. ah, that gives me six hours. yeah, to do what? uh, well, i've got a few calls to make. [chuckles] see you later. [chuckling] look at this. [chuckles] it's my office.

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[ ] jeannie, i've gotta talk to ya. did major nelson tell you that we are getting married tonight? he did mention it. oh, isn't that exciting? [screams] you don't know how exciting. a former astronaut married to a genie. yes, is it not wonderful? a form-- a former astronaut? they won't keep him in the program when they hear about you. but why not? i will no longer be a genie. oh, great. that's just great.

i mean, how could you do this to him? but i love him. and he loves me. he asked me to marry him. jeannie, the only reason he's marrying you is because he has this idea that when you marry, you won't be a genie anymore. but it is true. how do you know? it is in our legend. do you mean, you're gonna jeopardize tony's whole career on a legend you're not even sure of? i know how i can find out. haji. who's haji? he is the master of all the genies. he is most powerful. why don't you talk to him, and i can leave and then-- oh, thank you, haji, for coming here. i hope it's something important. this is my busy time of the month. who's this? oh, i'm, uh, major roger healey, sir. i'm on detached duty to nasa. yes. why did you call me? i need your help. i am thinking about getting married. ah, excellent. ha-ha, it's about time.

you are going to marry ali, the tent-maker? uh, no. omar, the oasis keeper? no. sharif, the camel king? mm, no. no? then who? tony, the dog of a master. what? you are going to marry your master? oh, yes. [haji groans] is it not true that if i marry my master, i will lose all my powers? yes, it is so written. ha. you see? well, i don't care if it's written. i think the marriage is gonna be a disaster. [chuckles] and i say, i would make major nelson very happy. well, it's my opinion against your opinion. that's a draw. let's forget about the whole thing. yes. uh, one moment. could you possibly show him what it would be like? ha. haji can do anything. [ ] hey. look at that, very-- quiet! shh. watch.

[muttering] look into the crystal ball. [haji laughing] amanda: oh, that duck. [laughing] i can't tell you, it was absolutely heavenly. why don't you ask mrs. nelson for the recipe? the orange sauce, oh-- and i'd like the recipe for the creamed caramel. you couldn't beat it. shall we take our coffee into the living room? yes. excuse us. tony: oh, that was wonderful. amanda, you don't remember-- bellows: excuse me. remember the sauce... ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. oh, that was wonderful. i'll help you clear the table. oh, it would only take me a second. oh, i keep forgetting. [both laugh] and believe me, i like it better this way. oh. [indistinct chatter] no, no.

oh, thanks. oh, alfred, darling. look at that beautiful rug. beautiful. jeannie made it in her weaving class. made it? oh. allow me, dear. you're certainly a lucky man, colonel nelson. i think so, sir. last night we had meatloaf. [chuckles] alfred makes marvelous meatloaf. [all laughing] jeannie, that's a beautiful dress. where did you get it? oh, thank you. i made it. oh, she makes all her own clothes. ma--? oh, for heaven's sake. she wanted to make all of his uniforms, but he wouldn't let her. we had to draw the line somewhere. she's adding an extra room to the house, too. what? she's wonderful with her hands. and to think i was against this marriage. why were you against the marriage, colonel healey? well, i, uh-- he probably wanted to keep her for himself.

you can't keep a girl like that bottled up. [laughs] i hate to break up such a beautiful evening, but i think we should be running along. okay? i think that we should go too. yeah. yes, i haven't done this morning's dishes yet. funny, funny, dear. you don't have to go now, do you? there's no question about it, colonel nelson. this marriage is the greatest thing that ever happened to you. i agree, sir. amanda: the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. the perfect marriage. boy, was i ever wrong? [laughing] i told you, major healey. are you sure that's the way it's going to be? you have seen it with your own eyes. can i ask you something? yes. you know that girl that was my date? mm. well, i've never met her before. uh, you wouldn't happen to have her telephone number, would you?

you're sure you want to marry one of these? oh, yes. you won't miss having the powers of a genie? no. i will have something greater. you know what this will do to your parents? [ ] yes. i will not tell them that you married a mortal. i will tell them that you were killed in a chariot accident. oh, thank you, haji. there's nothing more to say. this is the last time i will see you, jeannie. farewell. farewell, haji. [giggling] and thank you. about that telephone number, i thought maybe we-- oh. [giggles] oh, boy, was i ever wrong. whoa, was i ever wrong. then you are no longer against the marriage? why should i be against the perfect marriage? it's the greatest thing to ever happen to tony. oh, thank you. hey, wait a minute. we better get ready. we've got a wedding to go to.

[ ] boy, my old buddy getting married.

we sure had some great times together. yeah. i have a feeling you'll get married pretty soon. so do i. i think i've found the girl, but i can't get her telephone number. who's number? i don't know, i haven't met her yet. did you talk to dr. bellows about getting married yet? no. no, i thought i'd wait until after the honeymoon. i don't know how he'll take it. i wouldn't worry about him. he said it'll be a perfect marriage. hm. yeah. you're getting married? tonight? yes, sir. uh, i have some leave accrued, and i thought we'd fly up to maryland tonight. yeah, i'm gonna be the best man. well, i haven't met the young lady yet, but if she's the right wife for you, it could be exactly what you've needed. uh, believe me, sir, she's a most unusual girl. unusual? she puts on his slippers, and she's building on an extra room in the house. i'm very anxious to meet her. roger: oh, you will. she's going to make you the most marvelous duck dinner. we're gonna have to have that dinner right after your honeymoon. i've got to get that girl's telephone number.

oh, yes, sir. we both love children. well, congratulations. thank you very much, sir. children? why did you summon me again? oh, i am sorry to trouble you, haji, but we are a little worried. a little worried? we were panicking. so if jeannie marries a mortal, are their children mortals or genies? mortals. ah. ah. ah, but sometimes, they may be genies. there's no way of knowing. but we've got to know. can we look in the future again? i am late for an appointment in samara. oh, please, please. please. please. uh, very well. [wails] [muttering] tony: yeah. uh... "insert flap a into flap b, after sealing c into position f. and--" yeah, now, we've already done that, right? [sighs] uh, let's see now, "do not fasten the widgets together

jeannie. would you? oh, yes, dear. darling, daddy's trying to concentrate. [chuckles] that's right. can you fix it, daddy? oh, sure, honey. there's nothing to it. it says, uh, right here-- it says, "any child over the age of 7 can assemble this house in 10 minutes." oh, i am sure it's going to be a beautiful dollhouse. come, anthony. help mommy. now, let's see. "do not fasten the widgets together until a square has been formed by folding z--" uh, "z over y." that shouldn't be hard, huh? um... now, we dealt with z. they never tell you which... it's in the diagram, i know. [chuckles] i tell you what. why don't you study this for a little while? your daddy's got some phone calls to make, huh? did daddy help you again? yes.

all right. boy, what a great house. oh! i told you never to do that, darling. but i wanted my dollhouse. oh, please, darling. if your father knew about this, it would make him terribly, terribly nervous. please, promise me, never, never, ever to do it again. and, anthony-- bellows: yoo-hoo. amanda: yoo-hoo! oh. oh, dr. bellows. hello. well-- forgive us for dropping in like this, mrs. nelson, but we were just passing by. we were nowhere near the place, we just wanted to see the children. hello. ah. amanda, look how they've grown. and this is for you, young man. come over here next to your uncle alfred. now, let's lean down here and see. i bet you can't guess what it is. well, come on. an airplane? ah, now, what makes you think it's an airplane? look, a fire engine. i wanted an airplane.

he-- he's just crazy about fire engines. [laughs] darling, this is for you. thank you, mrs. bellows. you're welcome. he's hungry. yeah, you give him a cracker. ah, look, amanda. she's trying to feed him. [laughs] isn't that sweet? won't you come inside and have a cup of coffee? tony is inside. well, thank you, but we just had some coffee, but anyway. jeannie: please, come in. amanda: oh, thank you, dear. [ ] oh. how are you doing, dr. bellows? forgive us for intruding, colonel, but we've just had to see the children. they brought them the most wonderful toys. oh, now, you shouldn't have done that. every time you come here, you spoil them rotten. oh, don't be silly. we enjoy it. they're wonderful children. oh, yes. they take after their father. they take after their mother. let's watch them play. uh, well, how 'bout some coffee?

have some coffee, sir. you haven't had jeannie's. she makes extra-special coffee. have some coffee, please. no, i-- i swore i just saw-- oh, no, no, no, it couldn't be, no, no. well, didn't i bring your son a fire engine? yes, why don't we have--? well, i-- both: oh! jeannie, if you knew about this, why didn't you tell me? i did not wish to worry you. huh? worry me? major nel-- uh-- well, look. your son. he's flying through the air, and it's not even an airplane. why, it's a fire engine. make him come down. yes. now, anthony-- jeannie, do something. anthony! anthony! anthony! come down this minute. [stammering indistinctly] oh! stop it! it's starting again. first him, and now it's his children. listen to your mother. come on, anthony, i'm not kidding. it's one of those things that just happened. now, anthony, you come down right this minute! bellows: oh. [gasps] oh, no. you're not going to get out of it this time, colonel! amanda: get him down! i'll get him over here.

listen to your mother. you're going to hurt yourself. jeannie, would you do something? i told you he was hungry. anthony, you come down here! tony: anthony, you come down right this minute. tony: jeannie, would you do something? they're going to court-martial him. they're going to court-martial him! you've seen he's had no luck with his son, but his daughter will be a genie. now, you must tell him that before you marry him. it is so written. oh, yes, yes, i will tell him. good. i must go now, and i'll warn you. i warn you, do not disturb me again. [ ] you've got to get hold of tony. what for? what for? to tell him the marriage is off. oh, why would the marriage be off? why would the--? you saw what happened. well, yes, but i will not let it happen. i love him too much.

[groans] ow! jeannie! jeannie! [gasps] forgive me, major healey. oh, forgive-- are you kidding? get me down from here right now! as soon as the wedding is over. oh, jeannie, you've got to get me out of this place. oh, i-- you will be all right there until we return. all right? i am truly sorry you cannot be our best man. [yelps] goodbye. goodb-- oh, jeannie, don't go! not now! aagh! jeannie. jeannie? jeannie! i am ready, master. oh. oh, good, good. well, i'll, uh-- i'll pack a suitcase, and we'll be on our way, huh? oh. we are all packed, master. [laughing] yes, i can see that. well, thank you very much. oh, has roger called? oh, no.

and i haven't seen him since. i wonder where he could be. perhaps he is tied up. hm? yeah, yeah. well, he probably found that girl's phone number, huh? we'll just have to get along without him. well, that is what i told him. huh? oh, nothing. okay. [ ] the man from u.n.c.l.e. always gets out of these things. okay, jeannie, i'm ready. shall i blink us to maryland? [chuckling] no. no. we're gonna fly to maryland. from now on, i don't want you to use anymore tricks. oh, but it is so simple, master. no. in a few hours, you're not gonna be a genie anymore. and you may as well start getting used to it. yes, master. okay. oh, i have waited so long for this. mrs. anthony nelson. we should've done this a long time ago.

i have a feeling we're not gonna have a worry in the world. let me call roger one more time. i also have a feeling that something really important hung him up. [screaming] oh, jeannie, wait till i get my hands on you. oh, what am i calling her for? jeannie, jeannie, she's not gonna help me. haji. haji! haji! ah, you can't hear me, can you? you want to know why? because you're deaf! you're a deaf, dirty old man! and your father's a dirty old man! and you're a coward, you hear? a coward! boy, do you know what's gonna happen when i get my hands on you? now we shall see who is the coward. i'll tell you who's the coward. i am, but at least i'm not like a genie, i keep my word. are you saying that a genie does not keep his word? you told jeannie she couldn't marry tony

that is so written. yeah, but she erased it. she's getting married, and she didn't tell him. [ ]

he doesn't answer. i did not think he would. let us go, master. this is not like roger. we must not miss the plane. you're right. [chuckles] you're always right. [giggles] h-haji. uh, we were just leaving. where are you going? to maryland.

has she told you about your children? well, what about my children? tell him. well, some of our children may be genies. "some of our children may be genies"? some of our children-- are you sure? yes, master. oh, that's great. we're right back where we started. can you imagine what chaos life is gonna be with a bunch of little genies around? you are my favorite genie and an adorable child, but do not bother me again. jeannie. are you all right? are you all right? i will go unpack, master. oh, jeannie, i'm sorry, but-- well, you should've told me. yes, master. you understand, don't you? yes, master. where's roger? roger. yeah. i forgot major healey!

[yelps] major healey! roger? roger: oh, is that you, tony? hey, that haji isn't such a bad guy after all. i asked him for sally's phone number, and look what he gave me. mm. oh. mm. mm. oh, hi, jeannie. would you like a marshmallow? [ ] green acres is the place to be farm livin' is the life for me land spreadin' out so far and wide keep manhattan, just give me that countryside