down at our rendezvous down at our rendezvous

well, this is it. hi. janet: what are you doing here? i live here.

aren't you going to introduce us? alex, this is jack. hi, alex. you said you shared your place with a girl. we do. ( nervous laughter ) he's such a kidder. actually... uh... jack is just visiting here from back home. he... he... he's my brother. of course. of course. i should have noticed the resemblance. you won't believe this, but a lot of people think we don't look alike at all. well, you know, i, uh... i have an eye for these things. oh, you do, do you? jack, could i see you out in the kitchen for just a moment?

oh, remind me to tell you about the time when we were kids and we were taking a bath together... get in here! look, go find your own friends to play with, okay? i'm just teasing. it's a brother's right, isn't it? hey, what is this "brother" business anyway? well, i don't think alex is the type to believe a man and woman living together platonically. then let's try something he will believe. ( imitates fabric ripping ) do me a favor. go down to the regal beagle. no. i've got studying to do. i'll go to my room. you'll look through the keyhole. that's a good idea. what'll i see? two people drinking coffee. you got to do better than that if you expect me to look through a keyhole. will you please go away! will you please calm down? i'll go down to the pub and stay there for an hour. no, no, stay out real late, okay?

well, i've got to go. well, enjoy your stay in l.a. ( with southern drawl ): thanks. say, you be nice to my little sister, you hear? 'cause we come from a very protective family. you know what i mean? adios. i'm the smallest of janet's six big brothers and between us, we're two miles tall. oh, stanley, look. look. look at that. so? doesn't it give you any ideas? yeah, somebody ought to call the cops on them. don't you have any romance in you? yeah, but those things should be done in private. come on, helen, let's go home.

yeah, i got to do the books tonight. ah, come on, stanley, it's friday night. let's go home and have some fun. my mind is not on fun. then think of it as work. i don't mind as long as it comes out the same. helen, i told you i got to work on the books. oh, tonight it's the books. last night you suddenly got interested in the plumbing catalog. and the night before you took out the garbage... piece by piece. well, those things have to be taken care of. what's more important-- the garbage or your wife? well, you are. you are. it's just that you're not as urgent. you're impossible. helen, why is it your mind is always on the same thing?

when you're starving, you think of food and when you're not... all right, all right, all right. oh, hi, mr. roper, mrs. roper. oh, jack. oh, hi, jack. what's up, jack? well, the water in our toilet tank, actually. yeah, it keeps filling up too high. sounds serious-- i'll look at it tonight. jack, please, can't it wait till tomorrow? please? whatever's convenient. hey, jim. listen, i would like a bottle of... pouilly-fuisse, '67-- slightly chilled but not frigid. sorry, jack. i just sold the last half bottle of pouilly-fuisse, '67. uh, then i'll have a beer-- '77. hi. hi. what's a nice girl like you doing in a nice place like this without a nice guy like me? waiting patiently.

my name's jack. i'm veronica. so tell me, veronica. would you like to swing on a star carry moonbeams home in jar or would you rather be a mule? ( giggling ) i love multiple-choice questions. oh, you do, huh? jack, i have got to talk to you. chrissy, can you maybe... see...? oh, am i interrupting something? i hope so. oh. sorry. we can talk about it later when we get home, okay? home? oh, oh, chrissy, this is veronica. veronica, this is chrissy-- my sister. oh, of course. i should have noticed the resemblance. look, if you two have something to discuss, can... oh, no, they can wait can't they, chrissy sister? oh, of course. yeah. i can wait all night. patience-- it's a family trait.

listen, why don't you give me a phone call, okay? or if you agree to go out with me tomorrow you can save me a dime. tomorrow? oh, saturday. i've got a family get-together. ohh. ohh. but i'm free sunday. oh, great. i'll call you tomorrow. i'll be waiting. bye. bye. mm-mm-mm. she's very pretty. thank you. why? you had nothing to do with it. what's on your little tiny mind, chrissy? well, janet just kicked me out of the house and i don't think she has any right to do that. you did it to us last night. well, two wrongs don't make a right. let's go home. oh, janet won't like that. i don't care. this has been happening too often. you girls come home with a boyfriend you tell me to get lost. how'd you like it if i kept coming home with a boyfriend

that's telling her. you people got rights, too. bang ) ( bang ) but, janet, i mean about last night, i'm really... i don't want to talk about it. good morning. she doesn't want to talk about it. oh, you're still upset about last night. me? upset? why? you mean because you two broke in right in the middle of a very personal argument between alex and me? and because you told us to leave the living room and go settle things in the bedroom which is where we were having that very personal argument. me? i'm not upset at all. ( bang ) i'd be upset. look, i've been thinking. you know what's causing our problem? an interfering jackass of a roommate?

oh, jack! look, look. we need a system. we got to lay down ground rules so that scenes like last night won't happen again. oh, good idea. thank you. you know what we can do? we can divide the night into shifts, you know? like 7:00 to 9:00, 9:00 to 11:00 11:00 to 1:00, hmm? suppose i'd like to spend four hours with a guy? what should i do? spread him over two nights? that's a good point. hold it, hold it, hold it. i happen to have a simple but brilliant plan, all right? anybody who wants the place to themselves has to give the other two 24-hours notice. see? 24 hours and you got the place to yourself. well, i like that. i do, too. but i know how you girls are so remember, no exceptions, no changes. okay, no changes. those are the rules, agreed? agreed. agreed. i'm glad that's settled. i reserve tomorrow night. i get monday.

and jerry asked me out for wednesday. i've got a date with the lowell twins thursday and friday. stop it! i would like to squeeze in there somewhere between now and christmas. tonight's still free. okay, i'll take tonight. yeah, there's a great humphrey bogart movie on the tube. ( phone ringing ) i'll get it. a movie on the tube, huh? yeah. i've got an idea. how about if i call up alex and ask him to give you another chance? of all the stupid ideas. hey, is that any way to talk to your brother? jack, it's for you! yuck! who is it? she said to tell you it's someone who'd rather not be a mule? hello, veronica? hi. excuse me, veronica. chrissy...?

i don't. well, why did she say...? chrissy, it was a joke. oh. i don't get it. hello, veronica. hi. how'd you get my number? oh, the bartender, yeah. hey, listen, i got tomorrow night all planned. you'll come over to my place, and i'll cook up a... huh? i thought you said you had a family get-together. oh, switched, huh? tonight? oh, tonight would be gr... oh, uh, tonight. uh, well, see, tonight i-i don't have... no, you see janet... i mean, gee, uh... uh, i can't... sure, i want to see you, but... swing on a star? listen. we got a date. okay, listen, i'll meet you at the regal beagle at 6:00. no, no, no problem at all.

i'll see you then. bye-bye. why do i lie like that? janet? mm-hmm? i'm-- i'm really sorry about last night and for anything else i've ever done wrong since i met you. i'll make it up to you. for instance, if you ever wanted to trade nights with me-- if it meant a lot to you, it'd be okay with me. oh, no, jack, i would never ask. go ahead, ask. i mean, if you're not happy with tonight... tonight's great. i love humphrey bogart. what i meant was maybe you'd like tomorrow night. why? uh, well, you see... i made this date for tomorrow night but it got switched to tonight. and knowing what a warm, generous big-hearted person you are... why, of all the nerve. after you insisted on no changes you come in here and ask me to change. just this once.

please? no! you're not being fair. you made your bed. now you lie in it. i can't!

lot of times, being a teenager means living with labels. you know, like the ones other people give you. and the ones you give yourself. but what happens when you're labeled as someone you're t? "stop!" wearing a label you don't want... or find yourself labeling other people? it can be so frustrating... sad...lonely. if you're feeling overwhelmed by problems at school... "watch it!" at home, or anywhere else, you don't need labels. you need people who will listen. who can help you take control, help you heal, help you win.

(tdd# 1-800-448-1433) 24/7, they're here with help and hope when you need it most. the girls and boys town national hotline. change your label. change your life. help is just a phone call away. hi, janet. hi. where's jack? you mean "hot to trot" tripper? he already left. hey, are you still mad at him? well... he's got a lot of nerve, i'll say that for him. first he makes up the rules and then he wants to change them. isn't that just like a man? yeah. a woman would never do anything like that. well, of course not. unless there was a very special reason. like what? like eddie, maybe? you know, eddie from the office? yeah. he's taking me out tonight and naturally, he'll want to see me home and... naturally, you'll want to have him in for coffee.

naturally. can i switch nights with you? you're in luck. humphrey bogart isn't talking. what? the sound is out again. oh. i'll catch a movie and you can have the apartment. oh, thank you. and you can come back whenever you like. gee, chrissy, i hope you don't have that same problem i had last week with bob. what problem? he kept looking for a parking place for his hands. oh... why can't a guy realize that when a girl says "no" she really means "no"? right. except when she means "maybe." do you want these on your tab, too? yes, please. i don't have any cash on me. or anywhere else, for that matter. ( laughs ) i know him. how long are we going to stay here? don't you like this place-- the regal beagle? it's a great place. you can relax here. why don't we go to your place and have a drink? uh, well, um...

if you must know, it's not my night. well, how do you know if you haven't even tried? no, see, what i meant, i wasn't... no, okay. see, um... my place is taken. my sister is entertaining her fiance. oh, that's too bad. yeah, we don't think much of him either. we can have gobs of fun here. how? how? how? how? uh, well... well, i can show you my do-it-yourself toy. huh? yeah, it's sensational. here it comes. all right, you just wind the thumb. what? just wind up the thumb and don't stop until i tell you to. it will kill you. okay, faster... faster... faster. okay, let go. whoa... whoo- whoo-whoo-whoo! whoo-whoo-whoo- whoo-whoo! whoo-whoo- whoo-whoo-whoo! whoo-oh-whoo!

went after the sandwich and i had to sh-shoot it. maybe i'll get us some more wine. jack, my boy! hi, mr. roper. two glasses of white wine, please. thanks, jack. no, the second one's for a friend. which one is it? the guy with the leather jacket and the matching purse? no. he's not my type.

who's that? oh, it's a... it's a friend. oh, we're just pals. you know, it's like you going out with the guys. you two go bowling? something like that. does she know that you're, uh...? she knows exactly what i am, thank you. you know, you're lucky, jack. you can be pals with women. hmm? i mean you don't have the same problems that a regular man has. like what? well, you'll never have a wife nagging you. not that i have anything against marriage but, uh, wives can be very demanding. they're always asking you to... to... to do things. what kind of things? you know... like... uh, things. like... things. like...? like, uh, uh... like putting up a shelf?

that's it. and they're never satisfied. i mean, it's not as if i never put up a shelf. but i mean, maybe i don't put up as many shelves as some husbands, but... but, uh... i-i-i put up shelves. i'm sure you do. if helen had her way i'd be putting up a shelf every night. that's a lot of shelves. see, what i don't understand is... i'm back. oh! ever since she's given up smoking she doesn't know what to do with her hands. oh, really? yeah. nice seeing you, mr. roper. oh, jack, i promise to get to the toilet as soon as possible. thank you. i-i-i went up to fix it tonight but there was nobody home and i don't like to barge in on people when they're not there. run that again.

before that. i'll get to the toilet... after that. nobody was home. that's it! nice bumping into you, mr. roper. nobody's home. you know what that means? i think so. maybe we can put up a shelf. huh? hi, i'm matt mccoy. how long have you had your car insurance? i ask because i had mine for over 20 years, before i switched and saved hundreds with the aarp auto insurance program from the hartford. i was with my previous insurance for 30 years. but they could not compete with the hartford. people 50 and over could save hundreds of dollars when they switch. i had done a lot of comparison shopping. the rate was like half of what i was paying. [ female announcer ] $420 is the average amount drivers save when they switch to the aarp auto insurance program from the hartford. you know, it makes me wonder why everyone 50 and over hasn't switched.

who switched to the hartford from companies like allstate, state farm and geico, got a lower rate with the hartford. so, call... or go to gohartfordauto.com for your free quote. if you're not already an aarp member, the hartford can help you join in minutes. let me tell you what else the hartford does. they promise not to drop you, even if you're in an accident. it's called lifetime renewability and it's included with your policy. it's a great feeling to know that they're not going to drop you for that reason. and if by chance you're ever injured in an accident, the hartford has a benefit called recovercare. this will help cover the cost of having someone do your grocery shopping, your house cleaning, lawn care, even walk your dog. [ leslie ] they were there when we got the insurance and they were there when we needed it. and we really appreciate that. [ female announcer ] save $420 on average,

call the hartford at... to request your free quote. that's... or go to gohartfordauto.com today. get this free calculator

come on in! alone at last. yeah. can i get you something? a glass of white wine would be nice. you got it. wait a minute! i don't think we have any left in the house. oh, it's just as well. if i had another drink

i'll find something. i'll have better luck in the kitchen. while you're doing that, maybe i'll freshen up a little. you do that right in there and then i'll meet you right back here. ciao. ciao. i had a wonderful time. no, no, no, you can't come in. it's very late. but thank you for a lovely evening. watch your hand! surprise!

this isn't what you see! with your own sister?! no, wait, see, i can explain. i've seen some pretty kinky things but with your own sister! and who's this one? another sister? right! our friends call us donny and marie. you... sickie! you come near me and i will scream. you... you... sickie! i am not a sickie! i'm just a liar! mmmmmm. what are you doing here anyway? you broke your own ground rules. i heard the apartment was empty. you said there was no exceptions. there should be a penalty for this. so do i. let's make a new rule, all right? from now on, anybody in the apartment when it's not their night will lose their turn for a month. i second that motion. then let's put it to a vote.

one, two... wait a minute... three. it's unanimous. come and knock on our door come and knock on our door we've been waitin' for you we've been waitin' for you where the kisses are hers and hers and his three's company, too come and dance on our floor come and dance on our floor take a step that is new take a step that is new we've a lovable space that needs your face three's company, too