and the best part of it is she didn't cost him a cent. oh, did she follow you home from the track? actually, i got her in a swap for a piece of real estate i've been trying to unload for years. what do you think of her, wilbur? oh, she's terrific. but roger, i thought you didn't like animals. i don't, but i adore money. and this little beauty is my passport to social security. addison says she's won her first race already, and there's no telling how far she'll go. roger, if you're stuck for a place to keep lady linda, she's welcome to stay with ed tonight. you must be joking. i wouldn't let this pedigreed thoroughbred stay one minute with that broken-down old plug of yours. (ed's ears chime) now, wait a minute, rog. ed is not an old plug. his folks may have been poor, but they were honest. well, thanks for your offer, but i don't think lady linda cares to go slumming with that fat saddle-tramp. as a matter of fact, i'm entering her in a big race at santa anita this saturday, and that is where she will be courted. -this saturday? -oh, honey, we've got to go.

-do you really believe that? -yes, i really believe that. after all, this is america, where every horse has the same opportunity to reach the top,

"doesn't care to go slumming," huh? calling me a plug. ha! i should've said, "you can use a plug to stuff up that big mouth of yours." (grunts in frustration) hey, what's going on? ed: ah! uh... come on, ed. addison didn't mean what he said. if my mother heard him calling me those names, she'd wash his mouth with saddle soap. i know how you feel, ed. i sure felt like telling him off.

why, if you proved you could talk, he'd never call you a plug. so what? so he'd call me a talking plug. calm down, ed. (grunts) it's not good for your blood pressure. i hope that horse of his loses every race. oh, let's not take it out on lady linda. she's a... ed? pretty nice-looking filly, don't you think? (chuckles) ah! just another pretty face. oh, come on, now, ed. i saw you giving her the once-over. she's okay for a fling, but not the kind you want to settle down with. (wilbur laughs) carol: honey. -guess what? -what? roger has invited us to watch lady linda work out at the track tomorrow. ah, that's fine. what time do we have to be there? 5:00. -a.m.? -mmm-hmm. i wouldn't get up at 5:00 to watch a horse run if the jockey was lady godiva.

you know, kay, i've never been to the race track at 5:00 in the morning before. neither have i. i was so excited i didn't sleep at all last night. we didn't either, did we, wilbur? wilbur? -wilbur! -two eggs, fried. -(gasps) -oh, honey! -poor thing. -is it time to go home? lady linda hasn't even come out on the track yet. ugh, i don't blame her. only people are stupid enough to get up at this hour. here they come! addison: come on, lady linda. well, here she is, wilbur. look at her. lady linda. isn't she magnificent? right now i'd give you $10 for that blanket. (all laughing) oh, wilbur, i want you to meet my trainer, whitey morgan. how do you do? ladies, how are you? jimmy, take her up to the starting gate, let her come all out. i want to see what she can do. okay, girl. yes, sir, if we get a good workout today, we'll know whether she's ready. she'll be ready. and after she wins saturday,

and then on to the big win in indianapolis. no, dear. no. but why not? well, for one thing, i don't want my horse running against automobiles. here we go. she's ready. here we go. okay, jimmy, let her go. -(starting bell rings) -(william tell overture plays) (music slows down) oh, what happened? maybe she only runs when people are betting on her. addison, why isn't she running? how do i know? i expect to make a lot of money with this horse, whitey. now i want you to find out what's wrong with her. yes, sir. i'll have the track vet look her over. i can't understand this. she won her last time out. wait, wilbur knows a lot about horses. honey, what do you think... wilbur.

(ed laughing) what's so funny? so lady linda turned out to be a party-pooper, huh? -she just didn't feel like running. -(scoffing) thoroughbred... (laughs) maybe her pedigree was too heavy. stop gloating, ed. it's not nice to laugh at roger's troubles. it must be nice, wilber, because i feel so good. -(laughs) -here he comes. (ed groans) any news, rog? the track vet can't find anything wrong with her. -ah, that's great. -no, it isn't. for some reason the doctor can't understand, lady linda just refuses to run. i'll have to take her out of the race this saturday. before you do that, rog, why don't you let ed's vet take a look at lady linda? your horse's doctor? sure. doc evans is one of those old-fashioned vets. you know, a real lover of horses. why, you can call doc evans at 3:00 in the morning, he doesn't get mad.

wilbur, does this dr. evans know anything about race horses? only how to treat them. he loses every time he goes to the track. i'll give him a call right now. (horse neighing) dr. evans: yeah, that's a good girl. now, open up wide. open up wide. that's it. you know, doctor, it could be her tonsils. how about a wisdom tooth, huh? have you checked her sinuses? mr. addison, please. you'll have to excuse him, doc. this is his first. isn't there something i can do? -yeah, come on. we'll boil some water. -yeah, we... -boil water? -i think a cup of tea might calm you down. well, tonsils are fine. teeth are sound. now we'll check her pulse. how about her feet, doctor? her arches might be bad.

rog, i never knew you could be so worried about a horse. i'd be worried about a gopher if i had this much money invested. what do you say, doc? she's in good shape. pulse is not racing. neither is the horse. well, there must be something wrong with her. why won't she run? and how do you explain the fact that she's not eating? mr. addison, medical science can only tell us so much. now, physically, this animal is in excellent condition. from all appearances, lady linda's trouble is mental. oh, fine. now i've got to put her through analysis. it's not as strange as you'd think. many animals suffer illnesses that are purely psychosomatic. that's right. you take my horse, there's a real hypochondriac. one sneeze and he's ready to make out his will. you know something? it's my feeling that that animal is brooding about something. about what? i don't know. you're an animal doctor. you ought to know. well, if i knew what wasn her mind i could help her.

good day. (door closing) -"animals can't talk," huh? -what? -what did you say, wilbur? -hmm? don't give up yet, rog.

lot of times, being a teenager means living with labels. you know, like the ones other people give you. and the ones you give yourself. but what happens when you're labeled as someone you're t? "stop!" wearing a label you don't want... or find yourself labeling other people? it can be so frustrating... sad...lonely. if you're feeling overwhelmed by problems at school... "watch it!" at home, or anywhere else,

you need people who will listen. who can help you take control, help you heal, help you win. you need to call the girls and boys town national hotline. (tdd# 1-800-448-1433) 24/7, they're here with help and hope when you need it most. the girls and boys town national hotline. change your label. change your life. help is just a phone call away. r roger's in trouble. why don't you talk to linda and find out what's bothering her? nope. i wouldn't raise one little hoof to help that man. don't be like that, ed. you should let bygones be bygones. try to love thy neighbor. not when "thy neighbor" is a creep. oh, ed. "old plug." ha! he hates me. he does not hate you. it's just that roger doesn't understand animals. and i don't understand creeps. please, ed.

ed, roger has a big investment in linda. now, you don't want to see him lose it all, do you? yup. let me rephrase that. it's true that he said a lot of mean things about you, but ed, you should forgive him. after all, you're bigger than he is. mentally, of course. let's forget about addison. now we're getting someplace. let's think about linda. linda... there's something on her mind that is really bothering her. you want to help her, don't you? ed, i wish you could see that poor horse. i mean, she's just dragging her feet around, and moaning, and sighing, not eating. -she's all upset. -all right. i've always been a sucker for a sob story. you won't regret it, ed.

(horses nickering) ed? what did you find out? did lady linda say anything? i've got a crying horse in here, wilbur. now, please... -morning. -(horse snorts) ed, look, i can't stand the suspense. what's wrong with her? same old story. she's carrying a torch. oh... love affair, huh? she's got it bad, and that ain't good. what happened? she said she was in love with a horse at pimlico, but her stable shipped her out here. well, that's race-biz. yup. same old story. boy meets girl, boy loses girl,

well, listen, ed, tell her the only way to get over a broken heart is to lose herself in her work. tell her to think about nothing else but racing. morning, noon and night. check. (horses nickering) (horse neighing) ed, how are you doing? worst advice you could have given her. -she didn't like it, huh? -hated it. she's blubbering all over the place. better try another angle. tell her the quickest way to get over a broken heart is to find another love interest. (apprehensively) another love interest, huh? yeah. tell her... "honey, "you're lovely. you're young. "why, there isn't a horse in the world

aw, kiss me, wilbur. oh, come on, ed. now, you get in there and tell her. (horses nickering) wilbur. well? she stopped bawling. that's great, ed! and she forgot all about that horse at pimlico. wonderful. (lady linda nickering) what's wonderful? now she's in love with me. i've got this poor dame on the rebound. well, they say, ed, the patient always falls for the doctor. (laughs) give her a good ride, jimmy. (starting bell rings) boy, look at her fly.

love is a many-splendored thing. wilbur: at a girl. you eat, lady linda, so you'll be good and strong for the race this saturday. addison: wilbur. hey, wilbur, i had a call from whitey. he said she had a sensational workout. is it true? rog, she ran around that track so fast she nearly caught her own tail. oh, boy, is that a load off my mind. -look at the way she's eating. -yeah. what's that plug of yours doing in there? ed is keeping her company. well, i think you've got a lot of nerve bringing that saddle-tramp here to mooch hay. now, wait a minute, rog... wilbur, i told you before, i don't want that fat clown around my horse. the reason linda is feeling so well is because she happens to be fond of ed. what? and if you want to win on saturday, you'll let ed stay here until after the race. will you please get your oversized fleabag out of there before my horse catches something?

but don't you charge me for that hay. your horse invited my horse to lunch. excuse me. now, wilbur, i think you're being foolish not going to the race saturday over a silly little quarrel. well, i wouldn't like it if they called you names. that's different. i'm your wife. and he's my horse. don't hold it against him just because he has no marriage license. addison, wilbur's very angry. i think it was childish of you to call his horse all those names. i did not call that broken-down plug any names. kay, would you please excuse me? i'm trying to concentrate on this racing form. oh, doll, i'll feel just awful if wilbur doesn't come with us this saturday. now, please, lamby, please go over and apologize next door. i will not. number one, i have nothing to apologize for. number two, he insulted my intelligence when he told me his horse is responsible for lady linda regaining her form.

believe me, he's going to be sorry if he doesn't get out there saturday and place a sizeable wager on lady linda. (doorbell ringing) i'll get it, lover boy. according to the chart, lady linda should win in a breeze. whitey: hello, mrs. addison. is your husband home? -kay: yes. come in. -whitey: thank you. mr. addison, i'm afraid i have some bad news. -bad news? -i just gave lady linda her workout. did a mile in 1.38. that's pretty good, isn't it? a minute and 38 seconds? this was one hour and 38 minutes. an hour and 38 minutes? well, what happened? just went into the middle of the track, laid down and wouldn't move. we had to get a horse van to get her back to the barn. -well, what's wrong with her? -i don't understand it, mrs. addison. she was doing fine until mr. post took his horse away. hmm... now, just a minute, don't try to tell me that mister ed was responsible for linda's sudden change this morning.

they just won't run when they're separated. oh, i can see it all now. what a picture. lady linda and mister ed trotting down the bridal path. and you can give the bride away, doll. do you seriously believe that lady linda won't run unless that... that horse is with her? i think you better get him back in with her. as soon as possible. excuse me. hello, wilbur, my boy. hello. wilbur, you know when people are friends, neighbors... what i mean is when people have an argument and one of them realizes he's been a fool, well, it takes a big man to apologize. well, i'm not going to.

not that you aren't. oh, no. not that you aren't. what i'm trying to say, wilbur, is that i'm sorry for the unkind things i said this morning. you don't owe me any apology, rog. oh, thank you, wilbur. thank you. you owe it to ed. you expect me to apologize to a horse? why not? you made a fool out of him in front of lady linda. but he didn't understand what i was saying. that is where you are wrong. animals can tell by the tone of your voice how you feel about them. ask anybody who owns a cat or a dog or any pet. wilbur, i'll be frank with you. since mister ed left, lady linda has had a relapse. she has? mmm... and i'd like mister ed to go back to her. sorry, roger. ed isn't a horse doctor. besides, i wouldn't want lady linda to catch anything. oh, please, wilbur. please. i've got a lot of money invested in that animal. let me have your horse until this saturday.

oh, thank you, wilbur. thank you. come on, ed. come on, let's go. come on, ed, let's go. ed, let's go. he won't move. of course not. he thinks you don't like him. well, how can i let him know that i do? by showing him a little love. a little affection. talk to him, rog, in a low voice, and tell him how much you like him. hello, mister ed. i'm your friend. i don't think you're an old plug. i think... what am i doing talking to a horse? people will throw a net over me. rog, keep it up. you were just beginning to get to him. i am? yeah. keep pitching. keep pitching. and rog, straight from the heart. hello, ed. we're friends now, aren't we, mister ed? at a boy. now you come along, ed. come along with old rog. come on, ed. come on, ed.

well, why won't he go? you didn't kiss him. kiss him? i always kiss him. i absolutely refuse to kiss him. rog, how much money do you stand to lose if lady linda never runs again? turn around. turn around. now, ask him to go with you. come on, mister ed. come on with rog. hey, it worked! he's moving! come on, ed!

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liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. just one of the many features that comes standard with our base policy. call for a free quote today. see car insurance in a whole new light. liberty mutual insurance. boy, that was some race. you should be proud of lady linda. oh, i am. we're gonna make a fortune with her, aren't we, doll?

roger, what are you talking about? before the race, i sold her to the newport stable. what for? if you think i'm going to spend the rest of my life kissing that old plug, you're crazy. (laughing) - [voiceover] robert young and jane wyatt. with elinor donahue, billy gray and lauren chapin in father knows best. (joyful instrumental music) - i feel like a real square with all this corny joke on my car. - if the student council sponsors the safe driving campaign