watching well, we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up we finally got a piece of the pie fish don't fry in the kitchen beans don't burn on the grill took a whole lot of tryin' that hill get up just to now we're up in the big leagues gettin' our turn at bat as long as we live it's you and me, baby there ain't nothin' wrong with that we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up

we should visit mr. johanssen. ok. that nice,outgoing counselorat the help center? yes, he was nice and outgoing, until he met mrs. goldberg with her anthropophobia. her ampa who?

mr. johanssen was counseling mrs. goldberg. after she explained her fears, he has been hiding under his bed for the last six weeks. i've gota worse phobia. what's that? peewee phobia. fear ofmr. jefferson. damn! did the newspaper startusing five-letter words in theircrossword puzzles? look at this, weez. look. "dead raccoongets parking ticket." no! "blue sky cleaners' prices slashed." so? so? it's raining in the desert. the ocean's drying up. civilization's ended. really?

to give up saccharin. it's hilarious that your husband's being run out of business. wow, look atthese prices! from now on, i'm goingto blue sky cleaners. george. why don't you just lower your prices, too? lowering prices means cutting quality. i won't stab customers in the back. good for you, george. unless i can without them noticing. why don't you contact blue sky cleaners and talk out your differences? look, weezy, that suggestion borders on stupidity. the smart thing to do is meet blue sky cleaners and talk out our differences. somehow, the way you put it, it sounds so obvious.

that's all right, weezy. everything balances out. business is my territory. you always manage to look good. helen, i'm scared. why? i married that man. i'm glad about this meeting, mr. jefferson. ready to cancelthe price war? it was justa matter of time before blue skysurrendered. don't blameyourself, son. you just took on morethan you could handle. you tangledwith george i-take-no-prisonersjefferson. could we get to the reason i'm here? oh, yeah, sure. sit down. you came here to talk turkey, and i am the head turkey. the way i figure it,

we'll buy you out. so you clean on your side-- say what? we're prepared to makea generous offer. buy me out? i should buy you out. mr. jefferson,we have 39 stores. you have seven. what's your point? we're biggerthan you are. i have takenthe liberty of drawing upsome figures. i believe theseare your assets. that's right. and these are ours. again, what's your point? we're much biggerthan you are. we are alsocompletely computerized. big deal. come on, jefferson.retire with grace. her name is louise. she likes me to work. i see.

while you stillhave some dignity? you can do that with your contract. i take itthis means no. no. this means war. i'll fight you cuff to cuff, collar to collar, crease to crease. i'll fight you in the steam presser and until your starch goes limp. it's onlya matter of time until you'reout of business. you can't matchour latest promotion. oh, yeah? you want to bet? what'd you have in mind? we're holding a millionth customer contest. this is big. headlines all over town. that's big to you? you call thatpromotion, huh? i canout-promote you any day.

most people are. dinosaur. rooster poop. hello. freeboat talent agency? i have a large order. listen up, everybody.

of jefferson cleaner'slatest promotion. it'll be the carnivalof cleaning. you guys aresiamese twins, right? we'll startwith you, lou. ed, grab a seatand relax. what do you two do? ok. we'll talk about it. come on, mr. johanssen. come on. mr. johanssen, isn't it nice being out from under your bed? sure it is. you're makingmarvelous progress. we cameclear across town and you didn'tfaint once. the hard part is over.

trust me. george! drag it out here! hi, louise. something wrong? george, what are these people doing here? they're auditioning forthe jefferson cleaners'latest promotion to beatblue sky's millionthcustomer promotion. do you realize helen just dragged a kicking, screaming, wild man up to her apartment? that must beguido the gorilla man. he wasn't supposedto show till 3:00.

at 5:15,right after floyd,the human flypaper. but what did you-- relax. hey, very good, very good. let's see. we don't have wild animals, so my maid's in the kitchen. what is going on? poor mr. johanssen is upstairs hiding in our broom closet. i haven't time to explain. i must get down to blue sky cleaners. you're leaving mewith a trembling swede? i have to. since george won't listen to reason, maybe blue sky cleaners will.

lord, when i thinkabout you being blue sky cleaners'millionth customer, i could die laughing. want some more lemonade?

what am i going to do with a new tv, video tape recorder, and camera? offhand, i'd saygive them to me. george is going to kill me. there's got to bea bright side to you winningthis contest. george will go nuts when he finds out. there's oneright there. willis,get in here. george, i'd rather not. willis, be a manand come in. hey, weez. meet mr. starch, the new symbol of jefferson cleaners. what? he's dry cleaning's goodyear blimp.

he got stuck in traffic. circus acts are boring. a fat man in a box is advertising. ok, hit it. oh, come on, george. i feel a little silly. a little silly? willis, you're way beyond silly. hit it. oh, i'm mr. starch! hey! thank you for your pants and while we get them nice and clean i'll do a little dance that's enough. that's enough! tom. you're a respectable, intelligentbook publisher. yes. why are youin a box?

do things for each other. what's hedoing for you? hey! don't pay no attention to her. sit down. mind if i stand? well, whatever. look, willis, i want to say something to you i've never said to another human being. will you be my mr. starch? mr. starch meansthat much to you? as much as mr. pizza means to you. george,i had no idea. can i count on you? call me mr. starch. all right! [doorbell rings] hi, louise. hi--

thomas woodrow willis! you come out of there! woodrow? hi, honey. hey, love your hair. hey, hate your box! what are you doing in there? well, i'm mr. starch. now just listen, tom. i just spent two hours prying a man from our broom closet and throwing him into a subway. i don't want mr. starch! you threw poor mr. johanssen on the subway? don't you start with me, louise. you left me here with a bearded woman who kept calling me babe. then i went upstairs to find a man quivering behind a bucket. now i find my husband in a box! i threw mr. johanssen out of the closet

tom, we'll use the freight elevator. oh, i'm mr. starch oh, thank you for your pants a guy like that would make mr. starchlook ridiculous. hey, picture this.mrs. starch. ok, ok. george, sit down. now that we're alone, there's something i want to tell you. remember i said that things between you and blue sky cleaners had gotten out of hand? well, i went down there to-- can i say something? thank god for you. huh?

i married somebodyloyal and faithful. oh. yeah, weez. it's like you and meagainst the world. they even wrotea song about that. i forgetthe title, though. well, what i'mtrying to say is, you are my rock. oh. you know,without you, i'd completelybreak down. oh, weez. oh, what were yougoing to tell me? uh... uh, i was just going to mention that i've always thought corn is an underrated vegetable. that's what youwanted to say? yes. i thank you for being there

why don't you just read the evening paper? take your mind off all this. my rock, weez. you're my rock. george, it's late. let's go to bed. weez, it's only 7:30. 7:30 and we're still up? what's wrong? nothing. i just want to talk. talk? yes. communication is the key to a successful marriage.

uh... uh... well,i'm all talked out. i want to seeif blue sky cleaners has any more advertising. coupon.

i'll get it later. are youfeeling all right? let's go watch tv. that's a great idea. look at that. blue sky cleanersfinally found its one-millionthcustomer. don't touch that doorknob! uh, something wrong, dear? how could youdo this to me? oh. george, i'm sorry. it was an accident. i didn't mean to be

oh, george, i feel so terrible. oh, forget it. you're not going to yell at me? why should i?damage is done. oh, george. don't worry about it. it's not your fault. well, it is,but who really cares? george, what are you saying? blue sky cleanersis beating me. dry cleaning isa young man's game. what are you talking about? i'm just sayinggeorge jeffersonis going to retire. captions copyright 1982t.a.t. communications company

well, we're movin' on up

to the east side