come and knock on our door we've been waitin' for you we've been waitin' for you where the kisses are hers and hers and his three's company, too come and dance on our floor come and dance on our floor take a step that is new take a step that is new we've a lovable space that needs your face three's company, too you'll see that life is a ball again laughter is callin' for you down at our rendezvous down at our rendezvous

i'll take this down to mrs. roper. remind mr. roper about that leaky faucet. oh, thanks for reminding me. oh, hi. hi. happy un-birthda oh, jack, i've got to talk to you. first i want to tell you about my surprise. well, jack, this is important. what's more important than peter frampton? michael winthrop. what's he recorded? he's the guy i've been dating, remember? oh, yeah. michael "the gourmet" winthrop. don't talk about him like that. i happen to like him... and i've invited him here for dinner. dinner? you planning to send out? no. he's expecting me to cook. you! chrissy, you can't cook. don't you remember what happened

i wanted to make sure that it was thoroughly mixed with the sauce. but you don't do that in a blender. you made us a spaghetti malted. well, i just thought it would be faster. the correct way is to mix the sauce in a bowl then pour it gently over the spaghetti. see, you just taught me how to make basghetti. now, if you could give me a few more hints... cooking is not hints. cooking is an art. it takes years to learn. oh, please! well, i suppose i could give you a few pointers and... with a lot of practice and a lot of time maybe, i suppose eventually... when's this guy coming? tonight. tonight?! so if you could start teaching me... the only way you could cook dinner would be if i cooked it for you. oh, jack, i knew i could count on you. oh... now, wait a minute, chrissy... hey, hey, hey.

chrissy, speak to me! speak to me. she must have passed out. i-i gave her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. standing up? oh, well, hey, it's the best way. uh, the air goes downhill directly into the, uh, lungs. she looks all right to me. see, it works! you know what i think? i think you and chris... the leaky faucet in the kitchen? it's been acting strange lately. it's not the only thing strange around here. i don't care what jack says. they were kissing. i know a kiss when i see one. i didn't think you had that good a memory. helen, i'm serious. how were they doing it, stanley? show me. helen, this is no time to fool around. okay, you want to make an appointment?

ah, come on, stanley. nobody's smart enough to do that to you. that's true. but what about all those times we saw jack down at the regal beagle with all those girls? oh, those girls were just pals. why would a gay guy want to pal around with so many girls? to see how the other half lives? what about the time he took out my niece? i bet he tried something that night. you know, there's one thing you've never understood, stanley. "trying is not doing." okay. okay, but if i find out that tinkerbell... has stopped ringing i'm going to throw him out on his ear. look, isn't that pretty? how do you like it? what is it? it's macrame. i'm making a holder for my pot.

it's for hanging my plant that janet fixed for me. look, don't you think she did a lovely job? yeah, lovely, lovely. why'd you invite her to dinner? what's so great about a plant? well, for one thing, it's alive. which is more than i can say for some things around this house. hi. hi. what you cooking for dinner? my own goose. well, you know what, jack? i think what you're doing is absolutely marvelous. no wonder chrissy thinks you're so fantastic. she does? sure. i mean, why shouldn't she? you're going to help her impress somebody who really means a lot to her. ( gasps ) jack, are you jealous? jealous? me?

look, i admit i like chrissy. you know, she's a nice person and-and you're a nice person, too. i like you. and if i were doing this for you instead of chrissy, i'd feel exactly the same way. what way? i don't know. all i know is that you two need looking after and here's chrissy dating this-this total stranger. well, if you feel that way about it why don't you spoil the dinner? and ruin my reputation as a chef? well, excuse me. how's it going? i'm almost finished. now, chrissy, all you have to do is keep the soup on simmer. check the temperature, toss the salad. i can't do all that. you've got to stay and do it. but that'll ruin everything for you. if i stay, he'll see me. not if you stay in the kitchen. you want me to hide in here all night? no. only until he leaves.

oh, please. no. for me. ( groans ) okay, but for now on just call me cyrano de tripper. huh? i'm cooking to light another guy's fire. ( shrieks ) well, michael? ahh... i seem to taste a dash of cinnamon in the claret consomme. i hope it's not too much. any less would be timid. any more would be precocious. what you have achieved is divinely tantalizing. does that mean you like it? like it? it comes straight from heaven.

oh. that'd be that green stuff right here. oh. oh... ah... perfect. tell me, how did you introduce the dressing? i just said, "salad, meet the dressing. dressing, meet the salad." ( laughs ) seriously, how did you do it? i have to get something on the stove. could you excuse me? sure. oh, jack. oh, he's asking questions. and you're giving him some answers. "dressing, meet the salad."

"you look a little limp. "oh, dressing, am i glad to see you. "cover me quick. i'm naked." oh, jack, please. okay. fresh parsley, shallots finely chopped salt, ground pepper, wine, vinegar, olive oil stand one hour then pour gently into bowl and toss. you got all that? yeah. fresh parsley, chopped shallots salt, pepper... you smell wonderful. what's that perfume you're wearing? wine vinegar, olive oil fresh parsley... what? the salad dressing. oh, never mind that. i've got to know something else. you do? that appetizer-- the rice mold you made for the stuffed artichokes-- is that cooked in a saucepan

would you excuse me a minute? again? i want to get my roast out of the oven. let me do that. no! the door's stuck. yeah. well, it's an old building and it always does that when there's too much weight near the door. you're kidding? no. sit down. i'll show you. okay. see? floor's all balanced now. jack, that rice mold did i cook it in a saucepan or a double boiler? both. both. both? i hope you don't mind me saying this it's a trifle wasteful. what? well, you see, the pan is totally unnecessary and it tends to absorb the healthful nutrients but it's a common mistake

beginner?! who you calling a beginner?! who are you? jack! oh, you don't like my cooking, huh? your cooking? maybe you'd like to try my special egg recipe look, i don't know... oh, no, i insist. the yolk's on him.

jack, how could you? well, he... he... would you excuse me? i'd like to freshen up my hand. of course. the bathroom's in here. thanks. of all the rotten, mean, egotistical creeps. yeah, i don't like him either. i am talking about you. me?

to make me look like a fool. now, chrissy, don't get upset. i can straighten this out. it is impossible to straighten this out. don't be so negative. he doesn't know who i am. all he knows is... that you're hiding in my kitchen cooking my dinner. it is impossible to straighten this out. i want to apologize... stay away from me. michael, this is jack tripper. he's... hi. i thought you must be. jack is studying to be a chef and, well, i wanted to impress you so i asked him to cook the meal for us. i'm sorry. well, i'm afraid i can't accept your apology. what? what kind of a fink is he? there's no need to apologize. the point is, you did all this for me. i'm very flattered. he's quite a nice fink. so now that the cat's out of the bag, so to speak thank you and good-bye. good-bye?

this is a rather special evening for chrissy and me. we'd like to be alone, so good-bye, jack. oh, yes, well... good-bye, chrissy. i'll see you sometime. yes. i'll give you a call. oh, good. you know where to reach me, do you? right. well, i'll be moving on my little way here. bye. bye. no. wait. michael... there's something you ought to know. jack lives here. oh. well, in that case, i'll take you home. no. i live here, too. with jack? oh, it's all right. the three of us lead our own lives. oh, good. the three of you? you and two guys? no, me and two girls.

it's strictly platonic. oh, i knew you wouldn't understand. oh, but i do understand. the platonic principle has always intrigued me. incidentally, i found greece fascinating. grease? oh, we tried to get tickets to that show and it was all sold out. chrissy... that reminds me. what? let's get on with the dinner. so far, it's been excellent. oh, well, thank you. yes, the stuffed artichokes were very delicate. thank you. the claret consomme was a delight. maybe a bit too much sugar, but otherwise, first-rate. and the wine you chose-- a subtle, yet daring... too much sugar? yes. cinnamon in the consomme is enough. too much sugar?

too much sugar. maybe for someone with impaired tastebuds. uh, jack. if my tastebuds were amputated i could distinguish between sweet and sickly. sickly? you don't need tastebuds. you need a new palate which may require a new brain. are you saying i am insensitive? no, i'm just saying that you have the mouth of a rhinoceros. jack, please. even a rhinoceros wouldn't add sugar to cinnamon. anybody who would do that... is in the same class with the great chefs like julia child, james beard, and robert carrier. the last time i spoke to ramon olivet he was emphatic... you spoke to ramon olivet? he said no sugar with the cinnamon in the claret consomme. you spoke to ramon olivet? the chef at the grande faveur in paris? you know ramon olivet? we stuffed chickens together. jack, you're being very rude.

i put too much sugar in the consomme. good. now can we get on with dinner, please? so you know ramon olivet? a charming man. did he give you any tips? michael, should we sit down..? you should see the way he sautes his onions. how? how? how? would you like me to show you? are you kidding? come into my kitchen. fellas! how about his pate en brioche? well, i've heard it described as "catching a dazzling ray of sunlight." wow. that was really a great dinner, mrs. roper. oh, thanks, janet. you're welcome. yeah, it certainly was better than that chili we had for dinner yesterday. boy, that stuff was so hot, it kept me awake all night. i wish i could say the same about him. what? what? oh, nothing. nothing, stanley. i... i, uh...

listen, i was just thinking about your friend jack... kissing chrissy this morning. and i don't like it. well, why don't you stop thinking about it? i mean, he's not going to get away with it. get away with what? oh, come on. we both know what jack and chrissy are doing up there right now. oh, did chrissy tell you? of course not, but i have my ways. like the good book says "jack can fool some of the people all of the time but he don't fool me none of the time." and i don't like it. well, listen, neither does jack. what? no, no, he's not enjoying what he's doing. then why is he doing it? well, chrissy talked him into it.

why? why not? i mean, he lives there and he can do the job. i don't understand you kids. you talk like she's ordering a big mac. boy, i wish it were that simple. i mean, you don't realize the problems jack has. it is a miracle he can get anything done. huh? yeah. with chrissy's date up there. huh? yeah, he has to do it hiding in the kitchen. the kitchen? wait a minute. wait. you mean there are three of them up there? where do you fit in to all of this? oh. nowhere, thank goodness. you're a good girl. thanks. but i'll tell you i would love to have stayed and watched. what?

helen. helen! i'm coming! i'm coming! i'm coming. never mind the coffee. i let that kid move up there 'cause he said he was gay but after what i saw this morning and after what i heard just now i know better. whoa, whoa, mr. roper. all i said is that he's cooking dinner for chrissy and her date. you see what i mean? and i'm, um... cooking a dinner? yes. what's wrong with that? i don't know... yet. mr. roper, that is all that's happening. ( doorbell rings ) maybe i'm wrong and for jack's sake, i hope i am. yes? hi. does jack tripper live here? you want the apartment upstairs. oh, thank you. jack's not in. what do you want with him? i just wanted to return his sweater. i borrowed it from him last night when we were on the beach. what?! you and jack were on the beach?! thank you. that's very nice of you.

you hear that, helen? jack and that girl-- what about that? isn't that just like jack? taking the sweater off his back for somebody in distress? yeah. this is proof, helen. oh, stanley, you're ridiculous. yeah, you're crazy. yeah, you're, you're getting paranoid. i am not. why is everybody against me? i'm going up there and throw that phony out on his ears. no, mr. roper. hello. i'm jerry mathers. i was the beaver in "leave it to beaver." a few years later, i was a type 2 diabetic. but i'm not anymore. diabetes causes neuropathy, blindness, and amputation. at its worst, it can kill you. today i want you to have a look at an amazing breakthrough that has stopped diabetes in its tracks for over 200,000 people just like you and me. now you can do the same thing, because it's all spelled out in a very special system called

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all right, where is he? who? your friend jack. take it easy, stanley. take it easy. jack is no friend of mine. what? what happened? what he did to me was unforgivable.

what did he do? he stole my date! what? what? well, see for yourself. i'm going to get to the bottom of this. mmm. that's fantastic, michael. my stuffing never comes out like this. how do you do it? well, it's easy as long as you remember just a breeze of salt and pepper and just the dashiest dash of tabasco. you got a marvelous touch. ( clearing throat ) oh, hi, mr. roper. anything wrong? uh, not anymore, jack. it's all right, helen. that's wonderful. now, stanley, i think you should apologize to jack. oh. i'm sorry, jack. oh, that's okay. what did you do? me? nothing. i just thought i saw something that wasn't normal

but now i can see it ain't normal so everything's back to normal again. oh, well, i'm glad for you. and now, jack, you can go on living here as long as you like. can't he, stanley? i can? sure. unless you and your friend here would like to find a place of your own. [captioned by the caption center wgbh educational foundation] three's company was videotaped in front of a studio audience. come and knock on our door

we've been waitin' for you