mo-ooh-vin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up we finally got a piece of the pie fish don't fry in the kitchen beans don't burn on the grill took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hill now we're up in the big leagues gettin' our turn at bat as long as we live it's you and me, baby there ain't nothing wrong with that well, we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky mo-ooh-vin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up

hello. i'm jerry mathers. i was the beaver in "leave it to beaver." a few years later, i was a type 2 diabetic. but i'm not anymore. diabetes causes neuropathy, blindness, and amputation. at its worst, it can kill you. today i want you to have a look at an amazing breakthrough that has stopped diabetes in its tracks for over 200,000 people just like you and me. now you can do the same thing, because it's all spelled out in a very special system called the diabetes solution kit. i urge you to try this all-natural, done-for-you program so you can finally live independent of drugs and insulin shots.

where's my lunch? what is this? the stuff on topis called peanut butter. the stuff on bottomis called jelly. together, they form what is known as"peanut butter and jelly." i hate peanut butter and jelly. i demand something else.

now you havejelly and peanut butter. the longer she works,the lazier she get. [doorbell rings] get that. i'm marinating my steak. louise! george, don't fret. the steak i had was tough anyway. hi, helen, tom. hi, louise. is george home? yes, butcome in anyway. we want to see him. we had a problemwith some cleaninggeorge did. problem? i don't like to make waves, but today i'm really ticked off. been barred fromthe all-you-can-eatjoint again? george, tom is your friend. we all haveour crosses to bear. helen's yours.

george is yours. we were going out to dinner. i was going to wear my favorite suit. it's my favorite suit of tom's. it makes him look continental. yeah, he does looklike about the sizeof australia. what happened to your suit? we took it intoyour cleaning store, and it came backlike this! oh, tom! i'm sorry about this stain. we'll send these trousers back, and george will clean them again. i'm afraid this stain is permanent. even the bestcan't get outevery gravy stain. this stain is not gravy. it's chocolate. how do you know?

i didn't want to come here making reckless accusations! there was no stain when we brought them in. it must've happened at your cleaners. unless the customer left a chocolate barin the pockets. i did not! it's my policyto pay for everything. what do i owe? $400. that's a lotfor a suit-- but this couldcover yankeestadium's infield. anyway, we payfor everything, even if it isyour fault. there was no chocolate bar in this pocket. there's a principle involved here. the truth is your store's at fault. george offered to pay. let's leave it at that, ok? i'm sorry, i can't. not until george admits it's his mistake.

next time, take themwhere they handlebig jobs like that. like the clevelandblimp works. oh, well... oh, that does it. there's just no dealing with you. there's no talking to you. and you're an incompetent dry cleaner! what? you've never fought like that before! were you listening? naturally. your argument's perfect for that show video verdict. video verdict? you ain't never seen video verdict? two parties agreeto let a ex-judgehear their case in front of everybodywatching tv. sounds silly to me. it's unbelievable. people say the dumbest things on that show. like i said,

they make peoplelook ridiculous. only a foolwould even considergoing on that show. video verdict... oh, no. that's not a bad idea. tom, you're notactually considering going ontelevision with this. yes, i am! i want america to see you proven wrong. the more i think about it, that court show is a valid option. i've got a case to prepare. and call jim. is jim your lawyer? no. he's our caterer. i can't stand it! he called me an incompetent dry cleaner! i never insulted him. george,people say thingswhen they're upset.

it's making me sick. george, don't jeopardizeyour friendship over a silly stain. give tom timeto calm down. then offerto pay damages. he'll take it, and you'll maintainyour reputation. i don't care. and you'll also solveyour lower back problem. i don't have one. you will aftersleeping on that couch. you just made me care. i'll tell him you're willing to solve this thing. tell him i hopehe chokes onhis lousy $400. i'll paraphrase, ok? tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk. what are you tsk-tsk-tsking about? did your stomach just realize you cooked the steak? i was justlooking forward

we're not going on video verdict! why should i help their lousy ratings? they're ratingsain't lousy. all my friendswatch that show. big deal. one viewer. in the new york area, four million peoplewatch that show. that's eight million eyes blinded by the glareof your bald head. eight million people? that's four million eyes watching and hearing all the glory that's jefferson's cleaners. i think you madethe right decision. only a foolwould considergoing on that show.

quiet, please. standing by. in five, four, three,

[sound of gavel] now entering the courtroom, the plaintiff, tom willis. he brought his suit into jefferson cleaners to be cleaned. but he got back a mohair chocolate sundae. he's suing the defendant for $400. and now the defendant, george jefferson, owner and operator of jefferson cleaners. he claims the plaintiff left a chocolate bar in his pocket.

we have the making of a very interesting case here on video verdict. judge cronin is entering the courtroom. let's join him as he hears the case of... "who took who to the cleaners?" the participants have been sworn in. will the plaintiff please state his case? certainly,your honor. i took my pantsinto jefferson cleaners-- i object. this isn't a real court. this court does not recognize objections. i'm sorry, your highness. i objected because the plaintiff didn't specify which jefferson cleaners. you see, sir, i have seven locations.

objection overruled. grease stains, grass stains-- no problem. knock it off! no problem. go on, mr. willis. it's very simple. i took the pants in--no stain. got them back--pure milk chocolate. you have any evidence? i do, your honor. here is exhibit "a." and "b," "c," and "d." how do you know this is chocolate? well, i, uh... i tasted it. speak up, please. i tasted it! now, look!

but he has right on his side! order! order! mr. jefferson, state your case, please. thank you,your holiness. one thing, sir. my wife boughther dress first. i open my caseby stating anyone coming into jefferson cleaners mentioning video verdict will have half offtheir dry cleaning. secondly,jefferson cleaners-- where clean isour middle name-- is not guiltyof the charges. that man, tom willis, left chocolate in his pants, causing the stain. that's a lie! oh! i'm sorry.

ok. how do you intend to prove that mr. willis caused the stain? you mean the plaintiff? yes, yes. the plaintiff. elementary, your majesty. the plaintiff never leaves home without chocolate. have him empty his pockets now. this is an outrage! i know this is an unorthodox request, but i'm intrigued. but your honor-- besides... i own this show. so empty your pockets. he's hiding evidence. what's that last object?

come on, willis. come clean. everything. i believe every man has the right to carry emergency chocolate! isn't he pitiful? isn't he pitiful? i present exhibit "b," which shows that not only was he wrong, but he's also grossly overweight. but you be the judge.

do you have any witnesses? yes, your honor. my sweet, lovely, she-would-die-for-her-country wife, who has beenon the vergeof a nervous breakdown since theseproceedings began. i'll help you,darling. i... i would like to say a few words about my wonderful husband george jefferson of jefferson cleaners. he... a cleanerwho cares... oh, yeah. right. a cleaner who cares. he was born the son of a sharecropper. he was so poor that in order to buy a five cent cup of coffee,

he was-- what's this got to do with the case? i have no idea, your honor. my husband made me say it. that's enough. he made me wear this dress. please, mrs. jefferson. and i begged him, "give tom the money!" she's rambling,your honor. her medicationis wearing off. anyone ever tell you you looklike tom selleck? he wanted me to say that, but i have my limits. i think that i've heard enough. i'll take a brief recess

honey, he'staking my pants. maybe he wants to taste them, tom. we'll return with judge cronin's decision after this commercial. ok, everybody, relax, but please holdyour positions. i'm afraid you're going to lose. louise, who cares? i'm in thisfor free advertising. you dressed me up in this ridiculous dress, dragged me down here, made me recite that stupid story, and had me embarrass myself in front of millions of people just so you could get some free advertising? yeah. you deserve whatever you get. you're going to lose this case, which will tell your customers that jefferson cleaners is no good!

stand by, please. in five, four, three, two... here comes judge cronin now. well, i've reached my decision. this man, mr. jefferson-- hang him, child. thank you for your thoughts. as i was saying, the verdict in this case is pretty obvious. you look tired. what? you must get tired of this. i'll take some pressure off you. i've alreadyreached my decision. it don't mean nothing. it's obvious this trial is going my way. i don't care that i'm right. something's been gnawing at me.

that hurts! being the kind, generous dry cleaner that i am-- who gives half off forthe hectic christmas season-- i have no alternative but to pay the plaintiff for his suit. you still haven't admitted it was your fault. what a testimonial. that's the way we are at jefferson cleaners. we care. and for the hearing impaired, that's jefferson cleaners. a surprisingconclusion to our case and a generous gestureby mr. jefferson. what could i say? i'm cursed with a generous nature. that's the policy of jefferson cleaners--

i'm working here. not anymore. what's up? can't usethis segment. why not? clarence darrow heredidn't let the judgemake his ruling. i was a bigger hit than that judge. maybe so. you forgetone thing. what's that? i'm the star. oh, george. thank you for being such a gentleman. drop dead, willis. i can take a lot of guff, but i don't go for that "drop dead" talk. listen, both of you. you're friends. you've been friends for years. court is no place to air your dirty laundry. well, you know what i mean. this fighting is senseless.

for taking this ridiculous mess this far? tom. george. sorry. sorry. i was a real fool. you sure were. george! we should have figured this out ourselves. only a foolwould be on this show. what do you mean, ain't going to be on tv?

opyright 1982 t.a.t. communications company well, we're movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky

movin' on up to the east side movin' on up we finally got a piece of the pie fish don't fry in the kitchen beans don't burn on the grill took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hill now we're up in the big leagues gettin' our turn at bat as long as we live it's you and me, baby there ain't nothing wrong with that well, we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky mo-ooh-vin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up