well, maybe some other month. [line goes dead] nice talking to you. general peterson asked me to give these to you, major healey. oh, thank you. oh, evelyn? yes. uh, evelyn, i was just thinking, uh... yes, major? tony and i are going on a double date tonight. and i thought if you weren't doing anything, maybe the two of us could, uh... i'm afraid my fianc\ wouldn't like it. he's very jealous. jealous. fianc\. heh. i didn't know you were engaged. that's great, though. that's great. well, maybe, uh, some other time. i've got a lot of work to do anyway. oh, uh, evelyn? thinking, uh, you, uh-- you don't happen to have a roommate, do you? i live with my mother. well, if she's not doing anything tonight, uh...

hi, roge. oh, hi, hi. uh-- how are you? fine. oh, thanks. a little coffee for you. thank you. you change your mind about tonight? uh, tonight? oh, tonight. oh. look, i told you, i'm not interested in dating. i've got a lot of work to do. well, you haven't been out in weeks. you're not dating anybody? am i? are you kidding me?! ha-ha. am i dating anybody? i'm dating dozens of girls. listen, they don't call me "casanova" healey for nothing, you know. no girl in particular, huh? well, they're all particular. that's why they go out with me. you know how i am. i play the field. they just have to line up and wait their turn. okay, we'll go out with eddie and jean-anne. yeah, nice couple. do that, that's really nice. oh, uh, tony. yeah. uh, i, uh... uh, tha-that's-- that's a pretty tie.

[ ] [clears throat] oh. well. thank you. oh, jeannie, if you're gonna be here, be here, huh? thank you. jeannie, what are you doing here? i am worried about major healey, master. wh--uh, roger? why are you worried about him? is he going with us tonight? uh, no. no, he's not. i did not think so. and i think i know why. hm? oh, yeah, well, he told us why. he's, uh... he's gotta work tonight. i do not think that is the real reason. master. i do not believe major healey can get a date. [laughs] what? old casanova healey? he can get all the dates he wants.

but would that not be a lovely idea? what? if major healey could get all the dates he wants. if all women found him irresistible. yeah. yeah, i suppose it would. [laughs] well...i shall go home now, master. i want to get dressed so that major healey and his date will think that i am beautiful. uh, jeannie, i told you that, uh, roger's not going out with us tonight. oh, i think so. no, i don't think so-- [rings] roger healey. mm-hm. sue who? sue? oh, yeah, w-w-we-- we were probably disconnected. you would like to go out to dinner with me tonight? yeah, but you said-- [phone rings] oh, wait. ca-can you hold on, sue? yeah. i've got someone on the other line.

marilyn? oh, oh, oh, is-is the date still on? well, i-i-i thought you said you were busy. well, it's--it's nice of you to... break a date just for me. i-i'm flattered. yeah. you couldn't keep me off your mind all year? hold on. don't go away. don't go away. [click] hello, sue? major healey? hold on. yes? what time did you say dinner was tonight? dinner tonight? w--what about your fianc\? what about him? [stammering] don't go away. hello. yeah. yeah, sue? yeah, uh--yeah, something's come up. i'm afraid i can't make it tonight. and--and--and don't wait by the phone. i-i may not be able to get back to you. uh-huh. yeah. okay. goodbye.

[click] don't go away. not a chance. uh, hello, marilyn? yeah. [laughs uncomfortably] marilyn, i-i-i'm afraid i'm not gonna get to you tonight. uh-huh. yeah. i-i'm awfully sorry. and, look, maybe i can get back to you in a couple weeks, huh? yeah. don't try... don't--wait-- goodbye, marilyn. it's the strangest thing. it's as though i've never really looked at you before. you're the most exciting man i have ever met. oh. well... let's not tell your fianc\ about this. ha-ha. sh. till tonight. well, what time shall i pick you up? oh, don't bother. i'll meet you at your place. i'll be there at 7:00. if i can wait that long. whoo! ohh!

oh. eh, what have you done to roger? every girl in town is after him. [giggles] i have made him irresistible. [laughs] what? roger? believe me, master. no woman can keep from falling in love with him. i saw it done once in a play from aristophanes. oh, there was this man, and-- yeah, uh, jeannie, why did you do it to him? oh. because the reason major healey would not come with us tonight was because he was ashamed. he could not get a date. oh. so you changed all that? yes, master. are you not pleased? you're right, jeannie, i'm not pleased. but, why? well, i don't know, really. it's-- i do know that if you did this to him... somehow, somewhere, it's got to lead to a disaster. oh, no, master. not this time. this time you will see you were wrong. i have made major healey the happiest man in the world. and--and no trouble will come from it. believe me. no trouble. hm. hey, where did we get this, by the way? hmm?

if you look at the chart, you can see that after 10 minutes in the vacuum chamber, they, uh... well, the respiration rate starts to change. [phone rings] [clears throat] excuse me, sir. [sighs] roger healey. [whispers] look, i told you not to call me at the office. look, i know it's hard to get along without me, but you'll just have to. no, no, no. i can't see you till next week. hold on. maybe-- maybe i can fit you in here. uh, how about, uh, saturday? saturday, early. okay. saturday. no, no, no, no, no, no. all right. so if there's a cancellation, i'll fit you in. okay? all right. bye, betty. heh. sorry, it's an old friend of mine.

i wish i did. what? oh, nothing, sir. uh, what were you saying about these two charts? now, if we... yes? i didn't know you were busy. well, i'm busy. ha. will you be tied up long? tied up long. a bit. call me later. i'll call you. i'll call you. please, don't forget. yeah, i won't forget. [kiss] major. when do you find time to work? well, sir, work is really all i'm interested in. now, uh... [phone ringing]

this afternoon. yes, sir. i'll see that the phones are shut off. roger healey. oh, hi. oh, yeah. oh, listen, a party on your father's yacht? the 19th? oh, i'm sorry, the 19th i'm booked up. oh, yeah. how about, uh... how about the 27th? a party... okay. party at your father's yacht. the 27th. got it. bye-bye. [clears throat] sue, marilyn, alice, mary, gina, zeld-- zelda? see, zelda... [whistles] you don't have the same name down here twice. well, it wouldn't be fair to the rest of them. you know that i'm booked every day clear through november? it's the most fantastic thing that ever happened to me. oh, i-- i can't beli-- you know-- you know something? you may not believe this, but... i'm irresistible. i've always found you irresistible. come on, i mean it. i'm kind of a cross between, oh, sean connery, richard burton and rex harrison. [laughs] no, come on, now.

every woman in the whole world has discovered it. yeah? well, i-i must say, you must be having a lot of fun. yeah, yeah. oh, i just-- i just hope i live long enough to enjoy it. [phone rings] yes? major healey's office. oh. just a moment, please. it's your mother. come on. ha-ha. roger healey. i'm all booked up through nove-- hello, mother. now, you see, on this graph, the test that roger and i made show that the up curve on the respiration charts-- where is major healey? i asked him to be here. oh, he ought to be along shortly, sir. the last time i saw him, he was talking to his mother. yes, i've seen some of his mothers. they're beautiful. yes. hello, dear. oh. oh, i'm sorry, darling. am i interrupting something? oh, no, dear. we're almost finished. just came from the dullest ladies aid meeting. it is my last year as chairman, i promise you, alfred. yes, dear. oh, i'm sorry. this is major nelson. mrs. bellows. how do you do, major nelson? pleasure to meet you.

yes, my husband talks about you night and day. [sighs] sorry i'm late, sir. i got tied up. ah, yes. oh. oh, this is major healey. mrs. bellows. roger: mrs. bellows? i didn't know you were married, sir. how do you do, mrs. bellows. you have a fine husband. major healey? yes. my husband and i insist that you

oh. beg your pardon. i want to talk to you. well, i'm rather busy right now. if you'd like to make an appointment, i'll-- i want to talk to you now, and you better listen good. look, uh, whoever you are, i'm not used-- just call me morgan, major healey. oh, i'm not major healey. you're not? no. oh. well, that's my mistake. uh, can you tell me where, uh, i might find him? oh, sure. he's, uh... he's right down the hall there.

yeah. bowling...2 to 4. okay. well, honey...i'm doing the best i can. i'm--i'm only one man. now, you know i do-- now, honey, i've said it before, i... of course i do. roger. oh, hi, tony. uh, i gotta talk-- now, will you--will you pull yourself together? well, what happened to the last autographed picture i gave you? roger, this is urgent. i gotta talk to you. you don't know what urgent is. i-i've got zelda on the phone. look. look, if i have a cancellation on the 7th, uh, i'll call you, okay? would you h-- would you just hang up? look, i've gotta hang up, dear. yeah. someone has to handle things around here. goodbye. uh, what is it? say hello to morgan. hello, morgan. you roger healey? ask anyone. just dropped by to congratulate you. oh, congratulate me? what for? on your wedding, sunday.

yes, you are. ah-hah. the boys and me are picking you up at your apartment at 10:00 sharp. be ready. i hate to be nosy, but, uh, wh-who is it i'm marrying? i ought to give it to you for that. well, if i offended you, heh-- forget i asked. evelyn and me was gonna be married. evelyn? but she's crazy about you. what evelyn wants, she gets. sunday, 10:00. and if you're not there, you better be up in space, because that's the only place you're gonna be safe. you astronauts. [pats back] you're doing a great job. you think he meant it? yeah, i think we're doing a great job. oh, boy. i better find out if there's a space shot sunday. listen, are you really in love with this girl, evelyn? whatever her name is?

i'm in love with all of them: agnes, ann, georgia... you can't be in love with all of them. i don't know what it is. it's like turning a hungry kid loose in a candy store. look, i can't get married. there'll be a mass wave of suicides. oh, uh, excuse me. yes, sir. i wonder if i could speak to you a moment, major healey. oh, certainly, sir. i don't, uh, quite know how to begin, major...but, um... well, if it's about, um, miss-- mrs. bellows, sir, why, i-- yes, it's about mrs. bellows. well, i can assure you, sir, there's-- oh, i'm not trying to pin the blame on anyone, major. as a psychiatrist, i realize how complex these things can be. well, sir, it's not just mrs. bellows. it seems that all the girls-- but, uh, because of my wife's infatuation, i find it, uh... awkward for both of us to be here on the same base. i agree with you, sir. it's... i think it best if one of us leaves. well, i'll miss you, sir. i'm sorry-- so, uh, i'm having you transferred to the aleutians.

sir, i've been to the aleutians. i wouldn't send my worst enemy to the aleutians. i would. you can plan on leaving in the morning. i can't go to the aleutians! i'm getting married sunday. jeannie? jeannie, i'd like to talk to you. oh. hello, master. you're home early. yes, yes. i have some news for you. oh. do you remember me telling you that, uh, somehow, somewhere, what you did to roger would lead to a disaster? yes. and you were wrong, were you not, master? no, i were not. the "somehow" is the mafia,

i do not understand. oh. well, you see, uh, roger, on sunday, is going to have to marry this gangster's girlfriend. only he's not gonna be able to be there, because dr. bellows is sending him to the aleutian islands. well, that is terrible. mm-hm. how does major healey get himself into these things? jeannie, you've gotta help him. i know. i will fix it so that all women hate him. then there will be no reason for him to get married or be sent to the aleutians. no, you can't do that. mm-hm. no, you-- don't, really! why not? well, you can't destroy a man's ego. couldn't you just make it possible for him to be a little less lovable? oh. well, i-- i-- i do not know, master. it may be too late. huh? excuse me. now, where are you--? going. yeah-- oh. jeannie? goodbye, girls. [sighs] goodbye, office.

oh, roger, i just heard. oh, take it easy, mrs. bellows. we're on government property. can't bear the thought of your being sent away. i'll go to the aleutians with you. you wouldn't like it. there's igloos and polar bears. i love igloos and polar bears. oh! oh, mrs. bellows. you're--you're just gonna have to be brave. just gotta hold on. oh. so here you are. yes, i was just telling mrs. bellows that she and the other girls are gonna have to do without me. and, uh, what do you say? what do i say? i say we've been getting along just fine without him all these years. i think we can continue to do so. you mean... you don't mind if major healey leaves? mind? darling, why should i mind? couldn't care less whether he stays or goes. what about the igloos and the polar bears? oh, dear. maybe you should keep him here.

well, under the circumstances, major, i don't see there's any point in your going to the aleutians. we'll consider that order cancelled. [laughs] oh! thank you, sir. oh, thank you. i get chilblain. shall we go, dear? yes. goodbye, major. bye. oh, doctor? oh, um... yes? uh, don't count on me for dinner tonight. [laughing] oh! [claps] hello, girls. hello, girls. hello. ah! nancy, nancy, nancy. and zelda. oh! evelyn: oh, darling. oh. i heard you were leaving! oh, listen. don't panic, dear. don't panic. i'm not leaving! i'm staying. about that marriage sunday... [groans] married? oh. me marry you?

uh...i-i told you i was engaged.

hi, mary. uh, you remember-- remember we had a date, uh, this coming june? i had a few cancellations, and i thought that you'd like-- [mary hangs up] hello. [jiggles cradle] [laughs] jeannie, you did the one single thing i asked you not to do. but the problem is solved. no, it's not. it's not solved at all. it's worse than ever. do you know what it means not to be loved? well, yes. but i fixed it-- poor roger must be shattered. oh, no, master. major healey feels very loved. how could he?

well, i-- [frantic knocking at door] roger: tony! tony, open up! what's the matter? what's the matter? oh. oh, tony, help me. huh? why? what's the matter? they're after me! tony: jeannie, i thought you said you fixed that! oh, i did. i did, master. oh, don't open it up! [dogs barking] [both laugh] oh. oh. okay. [speaks indistinctly] [ ] [piano music playing] whoo-hoo? jeannie? sister, darling. oh, ho-ho-ho-ho. [sighs] oh, that'd be almost too easy. gotcha. jeannie! really, darling, after all the times you've been trapped in there,

some sort of early warning system. [laughs] jeannie...y-you... y-you let me out of here or i'll tell mama! [scoffs] my goodness, can't you take a joke? what are you doing here in cocoa beach? i missed you, sister dear. did you? terribly. i also wanted to know what was going on with that gorgeous master of yours. [giggles] are you married yet? [sighs] not yet. i do not know what the matter is. i read all the magazines. i do exactly what they say. hmm. magazines. what do they know? darling, what you need is a good, strong love potion. oh, no. i would not want my master to marry me unless it was of his own free will. sis, wake up.

they have to be led. persuaded. cajoled. you have to dangle a carrot in front of their nose. oh, but my master does not like carrots. oh! [giggles] darling. tsk. you can make a man eat shredded cardboard if you know the right tricks. do you know the right tricks? [chuckles] well, i should. i've been married 47 times. i'll tell you what. just to show you there are no hard feelings, i'm going to give you a personalized course in how to marry a man. i'm going to go after a man and let you watch and see how i hook him. you are going to get married? sure. 47. 48. what's the difference? and you can take notes on what i do. but whom will you marry? oh, i don't know. i'll... i'll find someone. tony? oh-ho? anybody home?

hmm. he'll do. i'll marry him.

[ ] [ ] oh, hi, jeannie. where's tony? i was supposed to pick him up. he went to the base, major healey. he, uh... he-- he-- he said to tell you that he had to go in early. is, uh... is anything wrong? hmm? oh, no, no. oh, well, i'll-- i'll catch him at the office. bye. good evening. [magic boings] here comes the bride here comes the bride it is out of the question. you cannot marry major healey. why, sis? you know i've always been a fool about astronauts. besides, he is kind of cute. but he is my master's best friend. look at it this way, sis:

you won't have to worry about me stealing major nelson away from you. oh. [ ] hey, roge, do you, uh-- do you suppose you could arrange to use the phone in your office? well, the switchboard operator is madly in love with me, and i don't want to make her jealous. four, five, four, oh, oh, five... nine, eight... four, five... three, six... nine, three... five, four... six... seven. hello, joanie, this is pussycat. major nelson, what's going on in here? i-- "pussycat"? oh, major, i don't, uh, think "pussycat" is a good enough code, uh, word for our project. [mutters] right. ahem. our new code word, sir. working on a project. uh, major healey, have you been using this phone for the last half hour? yes, sir. on official business, sir. well, sir, i've got a lot of work to do. nose to the wheel, shoulder to the grindstone. major. it's "nose to the grindstone" and "shoulder to the wheel." yes, sir. thank you, sir. uh, joanie. y-yes, sir? i-is...that a new one?

as opposed to his girl...thursday, and girl wednesday, and girl tues-- oh. i think it'd be a good idea if major healey got married and settled down. he devotes so much energy to girl-hunting. oh, i don't think roger will be getting married, sir. uh, it'd take a pretty sharp girl to nail him down. well, perhaps. by the way, major, about that simulator report, i think-- [phone ringing] sir, i'm in the midst of it right now. i'm on the last equation. if i could just get it down. i have the last-- hello? no, joanie, this is not pussycat. you can find him at extension 672... 0,0,5... 57... 5,7... 43. if he's not there, then try extension 204... well, now. time to start your lessons. do you have a drachma, darling? yes. put it in.

agnes getting married. let me see, i-- oh, hi, jane. listen, i was wondering, are you doing anything saturday ni-- scratch jane off. jane's off. let me see. the switchboard operator. what's that-- no, no. she listens in on all my calls. how about-- ren\e. i must be dreaming. _ on the other hand, who cares? hello.

that's a-- a very pretty dress you've got. uh, it's not-- jeannie's sister. are you going to blink me to siberia? give me a nice, warm coat. the last time you blinked me there i-- i got frostbite and almost froze to death. darling, i'm not going to blink you anywhere. i want you right here. close to me. [giggles] [magic boings] i know what you want. i know-- you want major nelson. and you want me to get him for you. well, you're not gonna get him through me, because he's my best friend. darling. i don't want major nelson at all. it's only you i'm interested in. you i'm mad about. yeah, you're mad about me, that's a joke. oh-ho, well, after all, what does major nelson have that you haven't? well, to begin with, he has a genie, and if you don't get me down from this swing, i'm gonna tell-- now, come on. will you cut that out? darling, how do i prove to you that i adore you? well, to begin with, you can disappear. well, your wish is my command, master.

_______ow whoa. well, he's taken the bait. but he does not want you. he asked you to disappear. oh, yeah? watch and see what happens next. well, i... guess i showed her. anyway, who wants a genie hangin' around to do things for you like it-- who wants a genie hanging around? come back. come back! i thought you'd never ask. do you, uh-- do you really like me? oh, how can you doubt it, darling? well, what if i asked you to blink up a rolls royce? uh, what would you say to that? i would say nothing. i would merely ask you to turn your head and look over there. [magic boings] roger: a rolls royce. how about a matching yacht? hmm. [magic boings] i think i'm falling in love. and i'd like to hang around here, but i have to get back to nasa. gotta get to work. i've got a few things that i'd like, though. maybe we could meet for lunch and i could make out a list.

[magic boings] [laughs] you did it, sister. you did it! oh, i can hardly wait to try out all those things on my master. [knock on door] jeannie? [laughing] jeannie, are you... here? jeannie. hey, jeannie, where have you taken me now? master! aah! ??-- did i do something wrong? lesson number two: how to do little things for your master. [giggles] keep your eyes peeled, darling. yes, sister. [magic boings] one golf bag. one golf club. the miami beach golf club. hmm.

[magic boings] hello, master, darling. are you ready to take me to lunch? well, i thought we'd send out-- oh, dear, you popped your button off. i have? oh, let me fix it for you. you mean, you're gonna sew it on by hand? of course, darling. i love to do little things for you. i hope you don't mind, dear, i decided to make supper for us myself. by hand? yes. if i had blinked it up, it wouldn't have seemed as personal, somehow. you mean you wanted to make dinner for me with your own little hands? mmm. that's the most beautiful thing i ever heard of in my whole life. it's my specialty.

[crunching loudly] do you like it? it's the most delicious thing i've ever had in my whole life. mmm-- what is it? shredded cardboard. mmm, it's delicious. mmm, mmm. more, more. [sighing] oh! now, what's this surprise you've got for me, jeannie? you will see, master. i made it with my own hands. taste it. you do not like it? tastes like shredded cardboard.

hello, roge-- oh! jeannie! oh! have i got news for you! what happened? just the greatest thing in my whole life. heh, ho-ho. wow. i've never seen him so happy. roger. that's jeannie's sister next to you. uh, jeannie, that's your sister. will you do something? [magic boings] oh, no. tony, will you relax? that's what i've been trying to tell you. jeannie's sister and i are getting married.

[ ] [sighs] i'm going to be maid of honor. do you like my outfit, master? jeannie, roger cannot marry your sister. it's-- it's impossible. i am sorry you feel that way about astronauts marrying genies. it has nothing to do with astronauts marrying genies. it has to do with roger marrying your sister. well, i mean, she's not your ordinary, everyday genie. major healey is over 21. y-- and your sister? she is over 2,021. oh! we must not interfere with their lives. but she tricked him somehow.

she merely made him fall in love with her like any woman makes any man fall in love. [sighs] [crying] but when i tried it on you, it did not work. oh, now, come on, now. now, stop that. now, don't you start crying. i really can't take that. you-- [magic boings] i-- i'd like to explain. go away, master. i do not wish to discuss this. [sobs] [magic boings] you see... roger, please. listen to me before it's too late. there's nothing more to say. now, either you wanna be my best man or you don't. well, of course i want to be your best man, but i want you to be sure you're doing the right thing. will you stop worrying? i've never been more sure of anything in my whole life. well, have you talked to your mother? yeah. yeah, well, what'd you tell her? well, when i told her that, uh, jeannie's family was the founders of the baghdad country club, she was pleased as punch. what? major nelson.

right on my way. oh, by the way, major, i spoke to mrs. bellows and she's absolutely delighted with the idea. oh, thank you, sir. i appreciate that. uh, what was that you talked to... shall we go, major? who's idea was that, roger? major? uh, yes. well, major, here's the report i talked to you about. uh, yeah. thank you, sir. uh, what was mrs. bellows so delighted about? uh, major healey's wedding. we're having it in our garden. i don't think that's a good idea, dr. bellows. and why not? [sighs] well, she mustn't marry him, sir. she doesn't love him. she's just using roger to get to me. major healey's fianc\e is in love with you? well, not exactly in love, sir. she just wants to...own me. own you? oh, well, i mean, uh-- like a pet, you know? a pet? you mean like a... a puppy dog? or a parakeet? that's it exactly, sir. she's tried it before. i didn't let her get away with it. she's just using roger, you understand? oh, yes, major. i understand perfectly.

has caused certain delusions. oh, we'll look into those further after the wedding. oh...[protesting] now, as for the wedding itself, i, uh... i want you to behave as a best man and a best friend should, do you understand, major? do i understand? the thing is, you don't understand. this girl lives in a-- she-- she comes from a... totally alien en-- environment. she's... [stammering] [ ] [mouths words] shall we begin, major? [ ] [organ music playing] [door closes] have you got the ring? i got it. why am i nervous? oh, you're nervous? i'm terrified. i still haven't seen the bride yet. and neither have i. but major healey says she's quite beautiful.

i know. he feels he's losing his best friend. oh, that's ridiculous. you men are so clannish. [organ music continues] [organ plays jazzy "here comes the bride"] [song ends] join hands, please. dearly beloved-- we are gathered here to consecrate the holy bond of matrimony. is there anyone in this assemblage

why this marriage should not take place? [coughing] [clears throat] no. reverend: do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? [magic boings] i do. look up there and tell me what you see. i can't see anything. see, my-- my mascara's running. [sniffs] there seems to be some mistake. get on with it. he said, "i do." i knew it. i knew it! she's trying to marry me. tony: jeannie, would you-- [sighs] you were right! [magic boings] oh! for heaven's sake, why don't you wear your glasses? but i could have sworn. you know, i think

dearly beloved, we are gathered here-- oh, no, you don't, darling. i have gone through too much to get here. [magic boings] you tricked me! [magic boings] dearly beloved. we are gathered here-- now, wait a minute. forget about it. this is all over. ladies and gentlemen, there's been a terrible mistake. [magic boings] [muffled speech] all right, darling. marry us. i suppose if i could see it, it would all make more sense. oh. dearly beloved,

that knows any reason why this marriage should not take place? i do, and i am going to make sure that it does not take place. [magic boings] fog in the middle of july? this is peculiar. most peculiar. forget the weather. get on with the ceremony. oh-- oh, yes. the ce-- ceremony. may i have the ring, please? huh? [magic boings] [muffled speech] [muffled speech continues] now, jeannie. try to get married without a ring. you're getting to be a real nuisance.

help!

master, master! you are safe! i have her trapped in here! huh? oh, yes, master. right away. jeannie, what? [sighs] what about the guests? how are we ever gonna explain this? yeah. oh, just blink away the fog. that'll take care of it, huh? come here. lucky you found out now, roger. [sniffling] please take me home. yeah, shh. [sobbing] major, what happened? where's the bride? oh, she's gone! left me at the altar. how will i ever face my friends? yeah, the girl-- she lost her nerve and-- and left, sir. i'm just taking roger home. major, what are you doing with that bottle of champagne? ohh, i-i--

i'm, just, uh, taking it with us. [cork pops] okay? aah! can you do me just one small favor? anything you want, jeannie. well... stand about here. yeah. mm-hmm. a-and major healey? me? mm-hmm. would you stand about here? please, let me see. y-yes, ah! that is perfect. and i will stand here. yeah, what are you doing? [magic boings] what is it? [organ music plays] reverend: dearly beloved, we are gathered here... everything here is just beautiful, samantha. thank you, gertrude. if i look a little green, it's pure envy. i break out whenever i see a friend happily married. your turn will come. i know, but when? as soon as you meet the right man. have any idea where he's hiding? i'll bet darrin knows plenty of nice single men. ohh, i don't want to seem too eager, samantha,

i'll have him invite someone to dinner friday night. oh, i'm so sorry! don't worry about it. it's an inexpensive replica. it can be replaced. it didn't look inexpensive. looks can be deceiving. are you gonna be able to come for dinner friday night? sure. but i think you'd be better off inviting hurricane hannah. [ laughs ] don't be silly. see you friday night. thanks. [ tinkles ] what time friday? 8:00.