gee, our old lasalle ran great

hello, archie. hold it. don't make me spill nothing now. where were you? upstairs. what was you doing up there? oh, well, we ain't got no bathroom down here. that ain't no excuse. you know we're having special company tonight. oh, i know. but you told me you invited joe tucker for 6:30. yeah, but he's one of them guys that always comes half an hour early. when he was working with us down the plant

there we are. look at that there, edith. not a drop spilt. you could never do that, huh? well, what are you doing? i'm performing what you call a whiskey transplant. i'm pouring this cheap heathcliff scotch into a bottle of haig pinch pint of scotch, see that? because that's joe tucker's favorite scotch. i always like to do right by my guests. but won't he taste the difference? nah! all scotch tastes the same. it all tastes like iodine. come on, come on, come on. get something on the table, huh? hurry up. oh, yeah. right away. yeah. all right. it's the first time in history a person ever got run down by a tapeworm.

can't you do something a little better than that with joe tucker coming to dinner? what's so special about joe tucker? i'll tell you what's special about joe tucker. you're a slob. joe tucker happens to be my best friend that i ain't seen for 18 years. how can he be your best friend if you haven't seen him for 18 years? aaah! go away. what the hell do you know about friendship? joe tucker and me used to work together down at the plant and we were close, buddy. we were as close as, what do you call, damon and runyon. joe tucker was the guy that taught me how to be foreman so i could take over the job after him. he learned me all the fine points about loading and lifting. what's there to know? don't be a wise guy. there's a lot to know. wise guys like you that think there ain't much to know about lifting are walking around today wearing a dress. get away from me, huh? just get away from me. come on, edith. come on. hurry up.

i don't understand, archie. if joe was so good down at the job, how come he's not working there anymore? because joe tucker was cut out for better things. he got himself a big job in a plant up in rochester, new york. he's a big shot up there. but he ain't too big to come and have dinner with one of his old pals. what is that, the latest in dinner wear? it's a little accident i had down at work, a word that's foreign to you. here you are. here's some dip. all right. archie, look at your sleeve! it's all ripped. i know that. i had a little accident down at work. that's all. i'm carrying a crate of machine parts and i drop them down. when i went to pick them up, i caught my shirt on a nail. the worst part was prendergast, the big boss, come by and seen me. you should have heard him laying into me. i gotta change my shirt. get away from them snick-snacks. hi! edith: hello, gloria. hurry up. take your coat off. joe tucker will be here any minute and archie always says that he gets here half an hour early.

6:30. oh! it's five after 6. he's late. [doorbell rings] no, he's here! edith! joe! how are you? it's so good to see you again. oh, you too, joe. come on in. you remember gloria? well, sure, i remember gloria. where is she? that one is gloria, right there. no, that ain't gloria. gloria's a cute, little fat kid about so high. that's gloria, grown up. joe: i don't believe it. well, there's only one way to prove it. the gloria i knew always used to like these. chocolate licorice! oh! oh, that's my gloria. come on. give your uncle tuck a big hug! uncle tuck, it's so good to see you. you don't know my husband, michael. oh, hello, michael. it's a great pleasure.

oh, it's so nice to have you-- archie: did i hear joe tucker down here? my old friend joe tucker, is he here? what do you know, joe boy? hi there, joe! will you get out of the way! archie! oh! hello, arch. [shouting] hey, archie! oh, jeez. oh, i got you, ch. that's two for flinching. yeah. aagh! aagh! we always used to do that. ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. hey, archie. you really haven't changed a bit. except maybe you're eating a little bit better. oh, jeez. otherwise you still look like the same old meathead. [chuckles] how about some snick-snacks here, joe? serve him something, will you? no, no, no. wait a second. wait a second, there. what did you just call him? nothing, nothing, nothing. meathead. oh! the boys down at the plant hung that on arch first day on the job. right, meathead? ha-ha-ha. yeah.

i wanna hear those old stories. why did all you guys call him meathead? well, you know. you know, arch was a little nervous the first day on the job. so he picks up this big crate of machine parts. next thing you know, bang, he drops the machine parts like a meathead. yeah, yeah, yeah. seems like it was just yesterday, huh? today too. [mouths words] what was that, edith? nothing. she didn't say nothing. nothing. what are you laughing about? ain't you got nothing to do? get outta here! oh, i'm sorry. i gotta go wash up. i'll be back later. meathead. get away from me! [archie mimics laughing] get something around the table, will you? all right. [gloria cackles] hey, take your daughter with you, here! [cackling] meathead. party pooper. come on, joe. come on. sit down. here's the best chair in the house, my chair. sit right down there. boy, how you doing all these years up in rochester?

well, i was plant supervisor. yeah. oh! hey! vice-president now, huh? well-- ah! hey! let's have a little drink on that. hey, edith, bring out the bowl of the ice cubes there, will ya? archie, wait a minute-- hey, hey, hey. no trouble at all. look what i got for you here. haig & haig pinch, your favorite. huh? oh, i haven't seen that in a long time. i'd hate to tell you what i've been drinking. yeah, yeah. no, kidding. what have you been drinking? some rotgut called heathcliff special. here you are. here's the ice. come on. come on. oh, edith. i asked you for ice cubes, you bring me an iceberg here. arch, arch, it's no problem. i'll drink it straight. yeah, we'll drink it straight. here. go on, take it away, huh? what do you want me to do with it? take it out to the kitchen

joe, joe, joe, down the hatch, huh? right, arch. yeah. yeah. ah! hey, hey. that's pretty good scotch whiskey, huh? i don't know, arch. i think you're wasting this on me. i've been drinking that rotgut for so long, i can't tell the difference between this and heathcliff special. gee, i can hardly believe that, joe. i mean, uh-- a guy like you, a big shot, how come you gotta drink that rummy booze? oh, arch, i'm no big shot. i'm nothing. to tell you the truth, i'm out of work. hey, hey, hey, hey. you, out of work? you know what's happened to a lot of companies because of this energy crisis. they're cutting back all over the country. i got laid off six months ago. jeez. six months you're out of work? yeah. for a long time i was getting up at 6 in the morning, walking around all day trying to get work. but nobody wanted me. after three months of that,

oh, gee, joe, if i was out of work six months, i think i'd go bananas. what's the matter there? you ain't crying, are you? no, no. i'm okay. dr. lieberman says... it's nothing to be ashamed of. well, uh, who's dr. lieberman? he's the psychiatrist i went to see. wow, joe, did you go nuts? no, arch. well, why did you go to a nut doctor? i went to him for help and he gave it to me. what did he do, loan you money? no, arch. he got me to believe in myself again. oh, yeah, yeah. but, joe, listen. i mean, that's not the kind of thing you want to get around. you know, that could hurt you. don't let that out outside of here. arch, if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be here today. he gave me the strength to come back to my old stomping grounds, look up my old friends. oh, you mean like me, huh? yeah, yeah, like you,

ste-- steve prendergast? you mean my boss down at work? yeah. i finally got the guts to call him and find out whether maybe i can get back in the old plant again. you know, prendergast and me, we were pretty good buddies. oh, yes. jeez, he never says nothing to me, but he always talked to you. he used to like you. yeah. well, he told me to go down and see the personnel manager. there's a spot opening up. funny. i didn't hear of no spot opening up. oh, well, i'm sure it's not much, arch. but whatever they give, i'm gonna take. yeah, yeah, sure. but, well, you would never wanna go back to the old loading dock no more. who wouldn't? anything they offer, i'll grab. i've been out of work too long to be proud. dinner! michael, dinner! come on, arch. i'm starving. joe, you're gonna sit right here. you're the guest of honor. archie's chair. that's at the head of the table.

do you?

they wouldn't fire you, not after all these years. what do you know about it, edith? i'm down there every day. there's a lot of funny things happened lately. like what? well, like, for instance, yesterday the big boss, prendergast, come by there. he don't even say hello to me. but you said he never says hello to you. that's right, and he done it again. oh, archie, i think you're getting all worked up over nothing. edith, edith, this guy out here, joe tucker, is the best loading dock foreman they ever had. prendergast knows that. don't you see what i'm saying? tucker's after my job. oh, archie, joe wouldn't do that. he's such a nice man.

edith, in an energy crisis, there ain't no such thing as a nice man. oh, archie, joe wouldn't do nothing bad to you. he's your best friend. ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! and benedict arnold was george washington's best friend. you know what happened there. what? oh, edith, benedict was after george's job. and george got wise to him. i never heard that. why, certainly. it's the truth. otherwise, if it wasn't, on washington's birthday, we'd be eating eggs benedict instead of cherry pie. [knocking at door] come in. you wanted to see me, mr. sanders. yes. come in, bunker. yeah. close the door, please. oh, yeah. the door, yeah. there it is, mr. sanders, closed, just the way you like it. all right. have a seat. uh, well, i don't wanna sit, mr. sanders, because, you know, being a loading dock foreman, i never sit.

you know, like this. well, no, no. nothing wrong with your job. it's a sitting job because it's a thinking job. my job ain't got nothing to do with thinking and i'm very good at it. i'm, uh, sure you are. yeah. thank you. now, bunker-- hey, this isn't gonna keep me away too long from the men, is it, mr. sanders? because my men don't like that. they fall apart when i ain't there. just sit down, bunker. this will only take a few minutes. yeah. like yesterday, i was away. you know, my one little two-minute break of the day. i went to the toilet. then i come back and there's a crate of machine parts there on the dock, fell down. well, i had to take responsibility there, you know? the top man always has to do that. look, uh, bunker, i wanted to talk to you about joe tucker. you see, he's applied for a job with us and mr. prendergast is very fond of joe tucker. he wanted me to hire him immediately. oh, he did, huh? but, uh, first i'd like to do a little checking. so, uh, tell me now, what do you know about joe tucker?

uh, well, he used to be a great worker years ago. of course, i ain't seen him lift nothing lately. well, uh, how long has it been since you worked with him? oh, gee, about, uh, ooh, 18 years, maybe. i was only a kid then. uh, gee, that'd make joe, what, about 59, 60. 51. 51? jeez, he looked a lot older than that when i seen him last night. he did? well, there's nothing to that because he's been worrying, see? that's why he looked that way. uh, he's been out of work for six months. but that ain't his fault, neither. it's just that nobody wanted to hire him. well, when you saw him last night, did he, uh, seem depressed? no, no, no! he was very happy. he was happy to see me. he was so happy, he cried. you mean he really cried? oh, yeah. the wet eyes, the handkerchief, the whole thing. just like he done the last time. you mean you've seen him cry before?

oh, i see. well, then, actually you have only seen him cry twice. yeah, that's right. like going and coming. but i don't know what he was doing in-between times. well, don't write that down, mr. sanders, see. just because a guy's crying, that don't mean he's a nut. ask any psychiatrist. yeah, don't write that down because, uh, listen, uh, sometimes, i even cry myself. oh! don't write that down. well, i mean, just when do you cry, bunker? well, like, uh...uh, for instance, uh-- well, like on a religious occasion. yeah. yeah. like when i was watching tricia's wedding on tv. mike, gloria, ain't it wonderful? it's 5:30 and archie ain't home yet.

well, don't you see? the later archie is, the less fired he is. edith: archie! hello! you're home! gee, what a lucky guess, edith. gee, daddy, what happened with mr. sanders? all right, all right. i'll tell youse everything. just let your mother go and get me a can of beer, huh? oh, well, promise you won't start telling before i get back. all right. all right. get the beer, huh? get the beer. and will you-- get out of my chair. yeah. get out of the chair. did you start telling yet? well, let me sit down. i ain't even sat down yet. daddy, can't you see how worried ma is? tell us. what did mr. sanders want? ah, nothing, nothing. he just wanted to ask me some questions about joe tucker.

what do you mean "is that all?" i had to go in and talk about tucker there. i had to give him a character referential. what did you tell them about joe? oh, gave him a big build-up. said he was a great worker... 18 years ago. 18 years ago? arch, that's damning him with faint praise. hey, i never once cursed the man. what michael's saying is that's not a very good recommendation. oh, yeah? well, what would michael like me to tell them? well, tell them what you always tell us. that he's a great guy. hey, what do you want me to do, strike myself out, huh? the guy's out after my job. what i should have done was tell that personnel manager the truth. i've got a good mind to go back tomorrow morning and tell him the truth. oh, and what's the truth? the truth, little girl, is that joe tucker's been going to see a psychiatrist. so what? will you wake up and live? this is the good old usa where personnel managers in this country,

michael: yeah. and if you tell sanders that, they'll never hire joe. arch, he's your best friend. what do you wanna do that for? to save my job, stupid! that's a dog-eat-dog world out there. don't you know what it is out there? it's survival of the fattest. [doorbell rings] i'll get it. no. no. you get dinner on the table. i'll get that. you, get away from me. archie! oh, hi, joe. i got the job! what, you got the job? what do you mean, joe? the job on the loading platform? no. better than that. and i got you to thank for it. what? how did you get sanders to ask me if i went to see a psychiatrist? because he asked me and i said yeah. you said yeah? yeah. he thinks psychiatrists are great. see, it turns out that his wife went to an analyst and it did wonders for her. that's how i got the job. you got a job out of his wife being a loony? no, arch. because she got well.

i'm the new dispatcher. [squeals] that's great! great! hey! hey, wait a minute! hey, edith. hey, edith. come here, edith. we've got some great news for you. what is it? oh, hello, joe. wait a minute. edith...edith, not just joe. yeah? show a little respect. you're talking to the new dispatcher down at work. oh! hello, mr. tucker. oh, congratulations, joe. i'll set another place at the table. no, no, no, no. don't bother. i'm gonna take you people down and find you the best meal i can find in new york. oh! oh! hey, mike, gloria, you're coming along too. let's go. oh, whoop-dee-doo! joe, that's gonna be fun. oh, my-- archie, what'll i do about my dinner? same as you usually do. burn it. come on. come on, edith. don't waste time. hurry up. hurry up. hurry up. jeez, that's swell. i'm glad to hear that, joe. hey, we'll be working together again. hey, just like old times.

you see, you went out on a limb for me. i'm gonna make this job work. oh! you know what i mean? yeah, yeah, you mean with you the dispatcher, the rest of us kind of coast a little, huh? are you kidding? i'm gonna be the best dispatcher they ever saw. no more wasting time, no more loafing, no more kidding around. no kidding around, huh? that's right. you better be on your toes, buddy. because it's gonna be go, go, go, all the time, you know? yeah, i know that. go, go, go. yeah. and we're gonna trim this pot down in no time. oh, jeez. hey, arch. yeah? aaagh! oh, jeez. oh, got you again, bunker. that's two for flinching. aaagh! aaagh! oh, joe. hey, archie! aaagh! no. no more, joe. i've got to give you two for flinching, all right? oh, yeah. easy. aaagh! aaagh! oh! oh! oh! we're gonna have so much fun. so much fun. yeah, yeah, yeah.

boy, the way glenn miller played songs that made the hit parade guys like us we had it made those were the days and you knew where you were then girls were girls and men were men mister, we could use a man like herbert hoover again didn't need no welfare state

gee, our old lasalle ran great

now...hang on there. here we go. there's nothing coming out. it's a delicate instrument. it's a plane. it ain't an ax. it's supposed to take off just a little microscope at a time. there we are. where did you get it? from irene lorenzo. she loaned it to me. i think it would have been quicker if she had loaned you an eraser. don't be funny, huh? just hold the thing steady. working with you is like trying to shave a guy... with the hiccups. there. maybe the blade needs sharpening. i took the whole thing apart. i sharpened the blade.

don't tell me about tools! edith: ooh, are you fixing the door, archie? no, edith, i'm making a raft so we can sail over to jersey. hi, everybody! mike: hello. gloria, where are the groceries? didn't you go to ferguson's market? oh, yeah, but george, the box boy, offered to carry them home for me. oh, no wonder you was late. you was with george, the nutcase. arch, he's not a nut. he just happens to be retarded. that's all. that's what i said. a nutcase. would you quit calling him a nut? george is a human being just like you or me. you're half right. he's just like you. where is george? ain't he with you? oh, yeah, yeah, but he said he wanted to come in the back door because he didn't want to track mud through the living room. oh, that was nice. ooh, george! have you been out there a long time? uh-huh. well, the door was open. why didn't you come in? oh, no. dad says, "always wait till you're asked in."

of course, george. come on in. thanks. hello, mrs. bunker. hello, george. thank you for helping gloria. oh, i like helping gloria. i like you helping me, george. i like helping you, gloria. i like you helping me, george. i like helping you, gloria. i like you helping gloria, george. [laughing] women: ooh! did you get eggs? oh, yeah, mom. i got a dozen eggs. ah, see, no casualties. oh, that's good. archie don't like his eggs scrambled, unless they're cooked. i'll just put these away. oh, thank you, george. gloria. yeah? i really like you. oh, and i like you too, george. i guess that makes you my girlfriend, huh? yeah. i guess it does. you know why? no. why? because you don't say things to me. you talk to me. well, that's because i like you.

that's right. because i'm your boyfriend. because i love you. oh, that's very sweet, george, but i think you mean you like me. oh, okay. oh, come on, george, with me into the living room. i, uh-- i left my purse in there. what do you mean "press harder"? i'm pressing as hard as i can. there's nothing coming out! hello, mr. bunker. hello, mike. oh, hiya, georgie, there. hey, uh, you carried the bags home from the store all right. george, you done a good job. oh, thanks, mr. bunker. you working on a door, huh? [shouting] yeah, george, i'm working on a door over here. wait a minute. i'm going to learn him something. hey, george, you see what i'm working with here? a plane. do you know what a plane is, george? what i'm doing with the plane is i'm shaving down the door because the door is too wide, george, and if the door is too wide-- it don't fit? [shouts] it don't fit, george. you're right. you're absolutely right! why are you shouting, mr. bunker? archie, why are you shouting?

well, i think i'd better be getting back to the store. they don't like me being away too long. oh, george, you can go out the front door. oh, no, mr. ferguson says always use the back door. but wait a minute, wait a minute there, george. what do you mean ferguson says use the back door? you can use the front door any time you want. hey, you don't have to rush back to the store, do you, hey? you can take a little break from work, george. oh, i don't know, mr. bunker. oh, come on, george. don't let no bosses push you around that way. you see, that's why these guys hires kids like this. to take advantage of them. now, you just tell them the customer's always right, george, and i'm archie bunker, the customer, and i'm telling you you can take a break. okay, mr. bunker. arch, what if he gets in trouble? he ain't going to get in no trouble. i'll handle everything. just stay out of this and hold the door will you, you meathead? oh! meat! i forgot to put the meat in the freezer. archie: there's something here.

listen. you don't understand. it's a very tricky job here. yeah, but you got to have little curly bits of wood coming out up there. i know. i know all about the curly bits of wood there. but you see, uh... i tell you what, george. see the chair there? why don't you just sit down in the chair. go on. and you just watch me work and don't talk, see? okay, mr. bunker. i like watching. yeah, you watch, george. maybe you'll learn something. here we go. [george whistling tunelessly] hey, george, do you know some other song? oh, i'm sorry, mr. bunker. oh, no, no. don't worry about it, kid. i ain't mad at you or anything.

would you like me to fix that plane for you, mr. bunker? heh-heh, no, george. i tell you what. here, here. give me your hand, george. give me your hand. i'm going to take you right into the kitchen in here. see, george, when you get into the kitchen, you ask gloria to give you a cookie. and then you tell gloria to give you a can of beer for me. you think you can do them two things? sure, mr. bunker. good! good. you go ahead, georgie. yeah, good boy, georgie. good boy. that's the way you got to talk to them. keep them calm. you talked to him like he was a dog. what are you talking about? i thought you were going to pat him and toss him a bone. if i did, at least he'd fetch it. you'd eat it. it's nice the way george is always smiling. he always looks so happy. edith, you don't understand them people, you see? being happy is just a part of being crazy. what? what? that's right.

because they ain't smart enough to know how lousy everything is. i'm going to go check on that beer in there. you see, he don't move as fast as you do. uh, george, i can't reach. oh, i'll do it. okay. oh. hey, hey, hey, hey! what's this? what's this? oh, hiya, daddy. you can put me down now, george. thank you. george is helping me put the groceries away. that's right, mr. bunker. i'm just helping my girlfriend. you're helping your what? my girlfriend. your girlfriend? that's right, daddy, we're friends. uh, george, do me a favor. don't lift her up in the air no more, huh? okay, mr. bunker. yeah. remember that, huh, george? hey, you, you jerk. you better get out in the kitchen and protect your wife. what? he's lifting her up in the air. she's getting him excited. you know what he's calling her? he's calling her his girlfriend! do you like that? oh, arch, it doesn't mean the same thing to george. oh, ho, ho, listen. them people ain't got much mind,

what do you mean, archie? this ain't for you. he's talking about sex. shush in front of edith. arch, that's a myth! retarded people have no more of a sex drive than anybody else. oh, yeah, then why are you on automatic all the time? archie, i've got to talk to you. why? what do you want to talk about? well, it's private. oh, edith, come on, will you? what? what? what? i've got to go to the bathroom. well, go to the bathroom. i can't. why can't you? you got the door. what do you want me to do? carry it all the way back upstairs here?

tell you what you do. sing, and nobody will come near you. gloria, could i have mr. bunker's beer now? i think i'd better be getting back. oh, sure. here you go, george. thanks. [laughs] gloria, can i carry your bags next time too? oh, of course you can, george. thanks, gloria. i wasn't talking no differere... shush! shush, you! here you go, mr. bunker. oh! george, you brung me back out my beer, here. george, you done a good job! come on, arch. i guess i'd better be going now. no, wait a minute. there's something i want to tell you. hang on to that. george, i want to give you a little advice. you shouldn't go lifting girls up in the air no more, george. see? because they're very delicate. and you're strong. you might hurt them, see? you heard that old saying, george? girls are made of sugar and spice-- all right, arch. will you cut it out?

i'm not dumb! i know how to spell and i'm not dumb. oh, jeez, i didn't know you spelled, george. you're making fun of me like some bad boys on my street do. no, i ain't. yes, you are. well, i can show you something, mr. bunker. i'm gonna show you. i'm gonna show you all. gloria: oh, george! george, don't go! george! what did you do that for? what? why do you have to talk to him like that? i didn't say nothing. daddy! how could you do that?! "i know how to talk in front of a d-u-m-m-y." what is that? oh, jeez, i didn't mean nothing by that. [all yelling] get off of my back, the two of youse. youse never understand anything i try to do.

now, hang onto this door, will you? unless you want to hear your mother-in-law singing moon river for the rest of your life. archie: here we go. i thought that was your favorite song. yeah, it was, until this morning. i feel just awful. you know what they did down at ferguson's? oh, don't tell me they're out of butter pecan. no, daddy, they fired george. edith: oh, no! why did they do that? one of the checkers said that some of the customers have been complaining about george. oh, well, that figures. what do you mean, "that figures"? i mean it figures because he's probably doing the same thing down at ferguson's he was doing here this morning. lifting girls up in the air. oh! no, daddy, that's not it. it seems that there was a line of people waiting for box boys and george was very late getting back to work this morning. oh, my, i hope it ain't because we kept him here talking? i think it is, ma. oh, archie! [doorbell rings]

you must be mrs. bunker. yeah. i'm pat bushmill. george's father. george, the box boy down at ferguson's market. oh, george. well, come in, mr. bushmill. look who's here. george's father. that's my daughter gloria. and this is my-- look, uh... mrs. bunker, i don't want to interrupt you, but i am in a hurry. see, i just heard that george lost his job at ferguson's because he was late getting back from here. we know. i'm sorry. we didn't mean to keep him that long. edith, don't be talking as if it's our fault that the boy got fired. we didn't do nothing. i only gave him a cookie. i told him he was entitled and ought to take himself a break from work. you told that boy to take a break in the middle of a work day? where do you come off doing a thing like that? well, why not? he deserves a break like anybody else, even if he is a kid with half his marbles. oh, daddy, how can you say a thing like that? mr. bushmill: it's okay.

and it's just this kind of attitude, see, that got george fired. now, them markets are just waiting for an excuse to get rid of kids like my boy. hold it. don't get sore. because i commensurate with you on all of that. it must be hard to raise a kid like that. mr. bushmill, george must feel terrible about being fired. how's he taking it? i don't know. he didn't come home! he didn't come home? no. oh, gee. we don't know where he went. he didn't tell us where he was going so if you don't mind-- all i know is that he ran out of here saying, "i'll show you! i'll show you!" w-w-wait a minute. hold it. are you sure those are the words he used? yes, i'm sure. then that means he's going to come back to show you something. he'll be back here! oh, jeez. look... do you mind if i wait here for him? well, now, to tell you the truth-- not at all, mr. bushmill. let me have your coat. oh, thanks. would you like some coffee and ice cream? [archie sarcastically imitates edith] just coffee. why don't you sit down. oh, jeez.

oh, what's the use! get out of my way. get over there. uh, how do you know that your son george is really coming back here to this house, uh, mr. george? bushmill. whatever. i mean, maybe he forgot where the house is. no, not george. why would he forget? he's been here lots of times. yeah, well, just because today he got fired from his job, maybe it got him all mixed up, you know? it must be awful tough getting a job like that in the first place, huh? you don't know the half of it. let me ask you something. could you hire my boy down where you work? where i work? no. to start with, you got to be on your toes, you know? and to be on your toes, you got to know where your toes are. you know, arch, you ought to be in the guinness book of world records. most stupid remarks made in a single day. nuts to you, buddy. don't pay no attention to him over there.

the wrong thing about everything. but you and me, we're both fathers. we understand these things. say, why don't you put that son of yours in one of them homes? what? yeah, why not? they're awful good. the kids work there. they teach them useful things to do like-- what do they teach? weaving baskets. get one thing straight, bunker. my kid doesn't have to weave baskets, you understand? he's going to make it on his own like his brother. oh, jeez, you got another one like that? it don't run in families, eh? as a matter of fact, george's brother just passed his bar exam. oh, yeah? where does he tend bar? you just broke your own record! george's brother is a lawyer. now, you see, the point i'm trying to make, bunker, is it's not inherited. now, you should know that.

yeah, thank god for that. let me ask you something about george. i mean, how did that happen to him? when he was a baby, did someone throw him up in the air and forget to catch him? it's a common birth defect. the doctors call it "anoxia." it means he didn't get enough oxygen when he was born. now, that's what happened to george. what's your excuse? i don't understand that question. [doorbell rings furiously] oh, maybe that's him now! [thumping at door] george! hi, gloria! mr. bunker! george! dad. what are you doing here? where have you been, george? i-i-i-i... take it easy! easy, george. calm down. i had to go back to the store to get this, dad. that didn't take you all day. where have you been? i-i-i got another job. gloria: ooh! george, that's terrific! you got a job!

yeah, mr. bunker, remember i said i was going to show you something. i had to go back to the store because i had this hanging up in the back room over where i hang my coat. here! read it, mr. bunker. read it! all right, george. let me see what it says here. yeah. "every man is my superior in that i may learn from him." oh, you read that real good, mr. bunker. nice, george. what the hell's it mean? it means everyone is smarter than you, arch. shut up! oh, no, mike. it-- it means that anyone can learn from anyone. even from me. "every man is my superior in that i may learn from him." gee, i wonder who said that?

i think she's right. well, whoever said it, it's a great thought. go ahead, george. tell them where you got it. sometimes at school i used to cry because boys called me stupid. and then my teacher gave me this. and then i didn't have to cry no more. is this still not working, mr. bunker? oh, be careful. you'll hurt yourself with that, george. no, i'll be careful, mr. bunker. all right, then. you can play with it. come on, george. tell me about your new job. well, ferguson's fired me, dad. uh, the manager said i couldn't work there no more, so i left. and then what did you do? well, i went down to the factory where my friend albert works. and he got me a job there working on the loading dock.

edith, please, huh? i don't work. i'm a foreman. georgie, i'm proud of you, son. now, you got that job all by yourself. you see? hey, george! i'm really proud of you too. only now, gloria, i won't be carrying your bags. and i guess i can't be your boyfriend no more. oh, but george... but-- but we can still be good friends, can't we? sure. that would be nice. oh, jeez, don't get him excited! come on, george. come on. we've got to get going. okay, dad. here you are, mr. bunker. it's all fixed now. you just had the blade in backwards. wait a minute. wait a minute. hold it there.

bring it over. let me try this thing out. the kid's been fooling with it. i hope he didn't ruin it. hold it steady. hold onto it. that's it. hey! hey! hey! hey, look at that! it's picking up wood! it's fixed! isn't that wonderful! george fixed it! well, bye, everybody. gloria: oh, goodbye, george. goodbye, mr. bushmill. don't worry about it, mr. bunker. sometimes i get things backwards too. goodbye. the blade in backwards. [chuckles] college boy.

captioning made possible by u.s. department of education,phillips petroleum,alcoa foundation coca-cola foundation, rockwell international, and sony corporation what would we do, baby without us what would we do, baby without us and there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through what would we do, baby without us

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