no, not under c. uh, let's see. where would i hide carrots if i were a human being? nope. now, where would i hide them if i was wilbur? yep! that figures for wilbur. well, while wilbur's having his breakfast, i'll have mine. carol! -oh, good morning, folks. -both: hi, kay. guess what i read in the paper this morning. there's a rabinski piano recital tonight. why don't we all go? -wonderful idea, kay. -yeah. uh, not for me, carol. oh. well, look what happened the last time you dragged me to a concert. he snored so loud, they asked us to leave. that must have been very embarrassing.

-count me out, girls. -oh, but, wilbur, rabinski is the world's finest pianist. there'll be fighting to get in tonight. good. when you get home, let me know who won. you both have a perfect driving record. >>perfect. no tickets. no accidents... >>that is until one of you clips a food truck, ruining your perfect record. >>yup... now, you would think your insurance company would cut you some slack, right? >>no. your insurance rates go through the roof. your perfect record doesn't get you anything. >>anything. perfect! for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. and if you do have an accident, our claim centers are available to assist you 24/7. for a free quote, call liberty mutual at

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ed, what are you doing? i'm emptying the wastebasket. mmm-hmm. oh, you found the carrots, huh? naturally, right where you hid them. well, i'm going to put these carrots in a place where you can't reach them. you can't keep eating carrots. why don't you eat your hay once in a while like any other horse? 'cause carrots are good for my eyes. oh, that's a legend. yeah, did you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses? oh, very funny. now, no more complaints about those carrots.

before i go to the concert. now, you get in that stall and be quiet. yes, master. yeah, can't reach them. ha! -(loud crash) -ed: oh! (mister ed moaning) ed, ed, what, what are you... (moaning) oh, that pail hit you on the head, huh? well, ed, you shouldn't have been coming in here and... ed. (moaning) ed! hey, come, come on, ed. get up, boy! that's it! (grunting) ed, come on! that's it. (grunting) there. are you all right, ed?

your eyes look funny. i feel fine, stranger. stranger? ed, what's going on? why do you keep calling me ed, stranger? oh, that bump on the head. ed, what happened to your memory? look, i don't know who you are, so would you mind getting out of my bedroom, please? ed, i'm wilbur. look, here. here are the carrots you wanted. carrots? carrots are for horses. but you're a horse. now, whatever gave you that idea? you're ed. i'm wilbur. don't you recognize me? i've never seen you before in my life, stranger. i'm your owner. you're my horse. will you please stop calling me a horse? i'm not a stranger! i... oh, this is awful! i know what i'm gonna do.

poor fella. i think he's got amnesia. wilbur, what are you doing? i'm looking for the picture album. what's your big rush? i want to show it to ed. you what? i'm showing some pictures to ed. uh, uh, to roger. why would roger be interested in seeing pictures of mister ed? (chuckling) that's a good question. oh, wilbur, try on the jacket. hmm? i want to see if it still fits. yeah, well. honey, i've got to go. oh, stop fidgeting. wilbur, try on your trousers. i'm in a hurry! you try them on! kay: did you see what i saw? i saw it, but i don't believe it. he was wearing half a tuxedo.

for half the concert. how are you feeling, ed? pretty good, sam. sam? why are you calling me sam? why are you calling me ed? you are sick, aren't you, ed? i'm sick? and you're wearing half a tuxedo. well, look, when you see these photographs, this will help you to remember who you are. sure, stranger. there you are, ed. that's not me. that's a horse. you are a horse. oh, oh, oh no. you're the horse. how can you say that? i can't be a horse. horses don't talk. i'm talking. how can i be a horse? that's your problem. look, here. this one will help you. you see? this is something i got you for your birthday. wilbur... uh, about that concert tonight...

we? oh, of course, you have a guest. why don't you buy him a tuxedo, and take him to the concert tonight? uh, dinner at 7:00. hey, who's that? that's our next door neighbor, roger addison. i like him. you like... but you've always hated him. him i hate, and you i like? you're in bad shape. i'm gonna have to get you to the vet. vet? vets are for animals. why are you taking me? you poor guy. you don't know what you're saying. now, just take it easy. i'll see dr. baker and get his advice. hey, don't tell the doc you show photo albums to people you think are horses. he might throw a net over you. i don't know who i am, but whoever i am,

(veterinarian humming) (knocking) (veterinarian humming) (dog whining) (knocking) oh, mr. post. dr. baker, i need your help. something wrong with your horse? yeah, well, i hope you won't think i'm eccentric for what i'm about to say, but you know how close i am to my horse. i mean, i think of him as a person. oh, now, you don't have to be ashamed of your affection for your horse. animals are just like little people. well, now, you take prince here, for instance. just this morning, his owner brought in a birthday cake made out of a hamburger. that's a little ridiculous, isn't it? and then there's puddy tat. do you know that her owner, twice a week, gives me $5.00 extra to give her a massage?

and then, mrs. cassidy lets her canary stay up just late enough to sing along with mitch. so, you see, you don't have to feel self-conscious. now, what's wrong with your horse? he has amnesia. oh, well, that... amnesia? oh, now, really. i knew you wouldn't believe me. yeah, you don't mean amnesia. what you mean... what do you mean? look, if puddy tat can have a birthday cake and prince can have a massage, why can't my horse have amnesia? oh, no, no, no. prince had the birthday cake, and puddy tat had the massage. you're mixed up. i'm the... my horse is mixed up! all right. uh, let's have a look at him. well, i couldn't get him to come down here. why not? he doesn't think he's a horse. how do you know? because he thinks i'm a horse. mr. post, suppose we begin at the beginning? well, it all began when this pail fell on his head.

well, because i hid the carrots. look, doctor, i know what you're thinking, and i don't blame you, but believe me, the horse has lost his memory. he keeps calling me sam and charley. mr. post, i think you should see a doctor. you're a doctor. no, you need a people doctor. i don't. oh, but maybe ed does. i mean, after all, he thinks he's a people... he's a person. yeah, yeah, i'll get a real doctor to examine him. thank you very much, dr. baker. bye, puddy tat. happy birthday, prince. sing along.

lot of times, being a teenager means living with labels. you know, like the ones other people give you. and the ones you give yourself. but what happens when you're labeled as someone you're t? "stop!" wearing a label you don't want...

it can be so frustrating... sad...lonely. if you're feeling overwhelmed by problems at school... "watch it!" at home, or anywhere else, you don't need labels. you need people who will listen. who can help you take control, help you heal, help you win. you need to call the girls and boys town national hotline. (tdd# 1-800-448-1433) 24/7, they're here with help and hope when you need it most. the girls and boys town national hotline. change your label. change your life. help is just a phone call away. (laughing) i'm glad you finally admit i'm not a horse. that's right, so i thought i'd get a real doctor to come over and take care of you. get one with a pretty nurse. i'm starting with the a's here. (ed clearing his throat)

well, nurse, this is mr. post. yeah, i wonder if the doctor could come over to my house right away. well, no, i'm fine. it's my horse. he's got amnesia. (click) hello? uh, hello? (humming) hello. dr. adams, please. oh, doctor, my horse has amnesia, -and i was thinking... -(click) hello? doc, doc. hello? hello? uh, dr. zelenka? dr. zelenka, before i tell you my problem, you've got to believe me. you're the last doctor in the book, so, promise you won't hang up on me. i'm desperate. ah, thank you, doctor. well, a pail of carrots fell on my horse's head, -and he has amnesia. -(click) doctor, you promised! well, if you ask me, you need a doctor yourself.

you know, you may be right. i mean, if i could get a doctor to treat me for amnesia, then i could find out how to treat you. all i've gotta do is convince carol, and she may call one. it's worth a chance. (door closing) oh, that poor horse. i hope the doctor can help him. honey, please hurry. you're holding us up. okay, gang, relax. i'll be right down. a concert, huh? (chuckling) ooh! carol: oh, wilbur! oh! oh! wilbur! oh, wilbur! oh, he hit his head. wilbur, are you all right? his eyes look glassy. he always looks like that. oh, wilbur, did you hurt yourself? wilbur? who's wilbur? who are you people, anyway? where am i? oh, wilbur, you did hurt yourself!

he's only faking. mister, will you take your daughter and get out of here? he's got amnesia. daughter? i like him better with amnesia. wilbur. will you stop shouting at me, louise? louise? why are you calling me louise? for the same reason you're calling me wilbur. now, wait a minute. he just doesn't want to go to the concert tonight. the concert. of course! where's my piano? piano? how can i play tonight without my piano? he thinks he plays the piano. thinks? thinks? everybody knows rabinski plays the piano. hello, dr. cathcart? this is carol post. oh, please hurry over here right away. i'm worried about wilbur. well, what do you think?

i'd cut out those late nights, big boy. now he thinks he's a doctor. i am not a doctor. i am vladimir rabinski! before the accident, he couldn't even say vladimir rabinski. it's a clear case of amnesia. oh, poor dear. oh, if i wasn't married... (growling) maybe you ought to get amnesia. (roger growling) doctor, what are we going to do? well, there's no specific cure. the duration can be long or short. sometimes, however, these things have been known to disappear as quickly as they come. you let him have a good night's sleep. i'll examine him in my office tomorrow. but, doctor, don't go. i haven't found out yet how to, uh, how to get rid of these strangers. would you mind stepping outside, so we can talk privately? please? this is good. i'm gaining his confidence.

i'm going to feel funny living here with wilbur, and he not knowing we're even married. come in, doctor. well, why are you bringing me into this barn? doctor, i want to level with you. yeah? doctor, i'm not sick. that's the attitude! it's my horse who's sick. yeah. horse? he can't remember who he is. oh, i see. it's your, uh, it's your horse who has the amnesia. finally, somebody understands! well, i'll, uh, tell you what to do. -you will? -mm-hmm. you get a good night's rest, and you and your horse come to my office in the morning. i'll treat you both. yeah... no, doctor, doctor, you don't understand. (stammering) what i'm trying to tell you is...

well, he didn't believe a word i said. he thinks i'm sick. he's not alone. (sigh) well, well, if i can't find out some way of helping you, i might as well tell carol and the others that i'm all right. and i realize it's a lot more serious than i thought. but you did say that people do get better, doctor. how? dr. cathcart: there are numerous ways amnesia patients recover... sometimes months of rest, shock treatments. sometimes a cure is quickly affected by another blow to the same area. you never can tell just exactly how the cure is brought about. oh, i was just, i... get him to my office first thing in the morning. thank you, dr. cathcart. oh, i just can't stand wilbur's being sick like this. if only we could help bring back his memory. it might take months of rest.

the doctor just said another hit on the head might bring back his memory immediately. that's right! oh, but i couldn't deliberately hit wilbur on the head. oh, i couldn't, either. i could. roger! he's my friend, and a friend doesn't turn his back on another friend when he needs a good hit in the head. what would you hit him with? in my car, i've got a crowbar. a hammer? a rock? well, i can't hit him with a marshmallow. maybe an umbrella would work. (door opening upstairs) uh, mr. rabinski, what do you think of shostakovich and stravinsky as exponents of modern music? well, uh, now, that's a very difficult question. what do you think?

why don't you take this to the concert with you? no, thanks. i always conduct with a baton. (sighs) ah, ed, it's gonna be all right now. everything's going to be fine, but i have to use this, so just close your eyes, huh? look, stranger, why should i close my eyes? i don't even trust you when they're open. i'm not gonna hurt you. i just have to give you a little rap on the head with this. ed, i'm doing it for your own good. ed, listen to me. this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. ed: okay, then hit yourself on the head!

ed, listen to me! -(pail clanking) -ed: oh! oh, my head. ed, ed, what's going on? ed! what happened? that darn pail hit me on the head, wilbur. serves you right for locking me out. wait. wilbur? you called me wilbur. well, what am i supposed to call you? but... but you're all right. you've got your memory back. now, when did i ever lose it? this is wonderful! you know, i'm a little worried about you, pal. ed, it's so great to have you back. i'm so happy, i don't know what to say. while you're so happy, make me happy with a bucket of carrots. okay, fella! (laughing) wait, wait a minute. now that you're all right, i'd better let the others know that, that i'm all right.

(laughing excitedly) roger: i had him right on target, but, cowardly weakling that i am, i couldn't go through with it. well, maybe it's for the best you didn't hit him. carol: oh, yes. i just wouldn't feel right having you hit wilbur. excuse me, strangers. i want to get my piano music. i don't want to be late for my concert. whoa! wilbur! oh, carol, how many times have i asked you not to polish this floor so much. carol? he called me carol! oh, darling, you called me carol! well, what was i supposed to call you? roger? kay? (laughs) mmm, i'd better get dressed, honey. i'll be late for the concert. ah, he's all right! by the way, where have you been all afternoon? oh! he's all right! he regained his memory!

you're late for work. you grab your 10-gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. right into your wife's car. with your wife watching. she forgives you... eventually. your insurance company, not so much. they say you only have their basic policy. don't basic policies cover basic accidents? of course, they say... as long as you pay extra for it. with a liberty mutual base policy, new car replacement comes standard. and for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. learn more by calling at liberty mutual, every policy is personal, with coverage and deductibles, customized just for you. which is why we don't offer any off-the-shelf policies. switch to liberty mutual and you could save up to $509. call liberty mutual for a free quote today at see car insurance in a whole new light.

oh! (mouth full) thank you. how was the concert? mmm, great, great. did you fall asleep? only during the music. that's my boy! - [voiceover] robert young and jane wyatt (giggling) with elinor donahue, billy gray, and lauren chapin in father knows best. - you wanna see me, mom? - [margaret] i certainly do. i had a talk with the dean of men at the college today. - you did? why?

- yeah? what about? - your english grades. evidently you're doing fine in all your engineering courses, but you're very shaky in english. - ohhhh, maybe a little. (audience laughs) but how important is that really? i'm good in all the subjects that count. i'm gonna be an engineer, not a writer. - [margaret] bud, you have to be able to express yourself no matter what you do. and besides, if you flunk english, you can't graduate and you can't get an engineering degree. - i'll pass english, don't worry. - [margaret] not the way you're going you won't. now the dean suggested that we hire a tutor to help you in english. - a tutor? mom, that's for kids. - oh, not necessarily. - mom, i see teachers all day long. i don't want to have too face one every night too. (audience laughs) some old fuddy duddy. - [margaret] it won't be. it'll be a student. now the dean gave me a list of five recommended tutors. you know, they're just bright students