good times anytime you need a payment good times anytime you need a friend good times anytime you're out from under not getting hassled, not getting hustled keeping your head above water making a wave when you can temporary layoffs good times easy credit rip-offs good times scratching and surviving good times hanging in a chow line good times ain't we lucky we got 'em?

are we ever gonna get a color tv? we don't need no color tv. we know the sky is blue and the grass is green. are you miserable? are you unhappy? well, i'm reverend sam, your happiness man, with a personal message to you from god. god told me to come to chicago... hey, mama. there's reverend sam. ain't he the preacher daddy knows? ...but, wait. perhaps you don't think there is a god. oh, there's a god, all right.

i hate a phoney. if you hate him, why you watch him? 'cause hate is such a good emotion, i don't want to waste it on somebody i don't know. ...come to chicago stadium tonight and let me, reverend sam, lighten your burden. "and empty your pockets." michael, turn that thing off. hey, what y'all talking about? that's my good friend smilin' sam on there. if he's your friend, why don't he answer some of your phone calls? you must have left a dozen messages. oh, he'll get in touch with me, baby. you'll see. you know how busy the man is. sure, he's been busy ripping off poor folks. oh, now, come on, baby. you got to stop that talk about smilin' sam, the happiness man. when we was in the army, we was best friends. yeah, except then he was buck private sam, the latrine-orderly man. you mean he wasn't a preacher in the army, daddy? no, son, he was --

he was a crapshooter. he was out of sight, too. i tell you, when sam had those dice, he couldn't lose for winning. baby, it was like they was blessed. james, that's blasphemy! could also have been loaded dice. no, son. sam didn't need that jive. i tell you, i never will forget the night old sam cleaned out a bunch of noncoms in the company chapel. james! you were shooting dice in the house of the lord? it was all right, baby. we was on our knees all the time. anyway, we was walking back to the barracks, see, and sam turned to me and said, "i believe we're being followed." i turned around, and sure enough, there's a whole battalion of sore losers behind me. so, sam handed me his winnings and said, "james, you run faster than me, so take the money and split." did you both manage to split, daddy? well, sort of. i split with the money, but they split sam. [ laughs ]

from what i saw on tv this morning, he ain't off that detail yet. baby, you got to stop that talk 'cause that's when we got real close. you know, the next day i went to see him in the infirmary, and i took him back every penny. you know what he called me after that? honest james. you know what i'd call him? jesse james. honey, that man is using religion like a hustle. oh, now, get off of sam's case. that's my good buddy. i want you to stop talking like that, especially when he comes around to call on me. ha! that'll be the day. [ knock on door ] you laugh if you want to, but just suppose -- just suppose now that was sam right outside the door. if that's sam outside this door, i'll shine your shoes in marshall field's window. good morning, sister. smilin' sam!

[ laughs ] [ laughs ] hey. we don't roar we don't fight but we're gonna score tonight watch those tomcats go rolling along meow! meow! hot dog. last time i saw you, man, you was decked out in guardhouse green. and, lord, look at you now. oh, don't let these rocks and rags fool you, james. they don't fool me. sam, this is my wife -- florida. she shines shoes at marshall field's. as the good book says, "a good wife is the peculiar gift of heaven." mm-hmm. ain't that nice the way he puts that, baby? ahh, honest james married. i'll be damned. in due time. uh, sam, i want you to meet my youngest son, michael.

hello, michael. i suppose you know me pretty well, son. well, enough not to shoot craps with you. how did you ever get to be a reverend? well, michael, i simply got the calling. you know, sister florida, i turned away from a life of sin and took the vows to do god's work. hmm, i see none of them vows included poverty. well, sister, he who toils in god's garden shares the abundant harvest. how much of that harvest did you share with the black community? michael, go to your room. but, daddy, this is my room. remember me? i'm the little fella who sleeps on the couch. okay, little fella, then take your books and go to thelma's room and do your homework. excuse me. james, i can certainly see you have a strong and loyal family. do you know i've been trying to contact you for days? now, see, baby. what did i tell you?

god needs you. i want to offer you a position in my crusade. me? working your crusade? doing what, sam? james is a good man, but when it comes to being religious, he ain't made it to the back pew yet. sister, i don't need a religious man. i need an honest man. you see, my collection's been coming in a little shy lately. and i've had the strong feeling that while i'm at the pulpit spreading the good word, my ushers are in the john splitting the big take. man, there's a black, long cadillac parked outside with "god is here" signs hanging on the door. sam, i want you to meet my oldest son, james, jr. junior, this is reverend sam. is that your cadillac out there? that's the biggest hog i ever seen. well, son, the lord watches over me.

the happiness man! dy-no-mite! i dug you on the tube, man. them threads... those rocks... them wheels! you and god must be on a first-name basis. junior, my friend sam wants me to go work for him. far out! now, that's the kind of religion i can get into -- the good word rolls out, and the long green rolls in. j.j., did you get my-- hello. you're reverend sam! sam, this is my daughter, thelma. isn't she a little doll? i can certainly see where she gets her fine looks. so can i -- from the corner drugstore.

i just can't believe it! reverend sam right off of television is in our own living room! wow. you must know everybody on tv -- like the jackson 5 and the staple singers. you know them? know them? i saved every one of them. out of sight! reverend, may i please have your autograph? well, i usually charge a quarter. but for you, my pretty, do you have a bible handy? sure, i'll get you mama's. no, you don't. nobody signs my bible but the original author. now, you go to your room and help michael with his homework. mama -- thelma, go. baby, would you mind making us some coffee, please? have a seat, sam. well, as i was saying, james, trust is the name of the game when you're working for the lord, and i need a man i can trust. i need my old buddy, honest james.

positive. when my ushers drive better cars than i, i need help. florida, there's a cadillac outside as fine... as this dude right here. i've seen you somewhere. you're that preacher who makes more money on television than bob hope and red foxx put together. [ laughs ] what you doing here? business is slow, so he's making house calls. i'm willona, a friend of the family's. well, any friend of this family is a particular friend of mine. mmm. i'm delighted to meet you, willona. [ hums u.s. army anthem ] whoo, honey. you are smooth. you know what, reverend? you got your thing so together, i almost sent you a dollar once.

they come from the lord. this dollar came from the devil. it was alimony money. [ laughs ] you're divorced? yes, but not desperate. florida, check out my new hat i got on sale. whoo, girl, you will not believe who walked into the boutique shop this afternoon. who? who?! izzie mae patterson. the woman who has the weight-watching place? the one who's always bragging about a perfect size 8? mm-hmm. well, now she's a perfect size 14. because of her diet? no. because of her husband. oh, no. [ laughter ] i don't know, sam. i got a job now, and it pays pretty good. you think you can beat $2.50 an hour?

$100 a day? i mean $100 a day, seven days a week. that's $700 a week! what's wrong, honest james? not enough? no, i didn't mean it like that. it's just that i didn't know that honest men were that expensive. i know what you mean, but put your mind at rest. james, i'm not selling anything but happiness. now, why don't you and your whole family come down to the revival meeting tonight, and you'll see the kind of joy i bring to my following. what do you say? $100 a day. now, james, tonight is my last night in chicago. i have to catch the midnight plane. i must have your answer by then. you'll have it. florida, sam has invited us all to a revival meeting tonight. well, what does he need us for?

sister florida, you doubt me now, but seeing is believing. and you will believe when you see all those sad people walking in... disgruntled... yeah. ...dispirited... mm-hmm. ...and disillusioned... mm-hmm. ...despairing... yeah. ...walking in the steamy waters of despair. can i get an amen? amen! amen! amen! people who ain't going no further. then they hear the lord's name through me. can i have an amen? amen! amen! amen! they hear the voice of god. and the people rise up, and their backs straighten, and their heads sit tall, and their spirits start soaring! soaring! can i have an amen? amen! amen! amen! and then they walk out dancing! dancing! dancing with a smile on their face

to fight the trials and the tribulations. can i have an amen? what do you say? that was good. now let us see you do geraldine. florida, a christian keeps an open mind. and i'll keep a closed pocketbook. baby, sam offered me a job paying $100 a day! nobody makes that kind of money legally. baby, you got to give sam a break. hell, woman. give me a break. $100 a day. come on, you got to come to that meeting tonight. all right. all right. hallelujah! amen for the hallelujah. we don't roar we don't fight but we're gonna score tonight watch those tomcats go rolling along

[ indistinct conversations ] michael: i liked the part, you know, when that lady jumped up and screamed, "hallelujah!" boy, my friend sam put on quite a show, didn't he, huh? i don't know about y'all, but i'm sold. yeah. dy-no-mite. he was up there flapping his arms and shouting to the sky, "hallelujah, brothers! the happiness man is here to spread the word of the lord!" and he was preaching, and the choir was singing, and the people were clapping -- and the ushers was collecting. james, how could you go anywhere with that hypocrite? hypocrite? mama, all those people believed he was the shepherd of the lord. i knew he was the shepherd when i saw him fleecing the sheep. well, i thought he was beautiful. and when all those white pigeons went flying in the air, i opened my mouth and screamed!

oh, now, baby. stop that talk. you saw all them people he made happy. and what about them people he cured? what about the cat in the wheelchair? yeah, i'd liked to have die when that old man wheeled down to the front, and old smilin' sam says, "you are healed! the healing power's within you!" and bam! the cat jumped up out of the wheelchair and boogied! now, baby, that was a miracle. the miracle is anybody believed it. hey, dad, did you see all that money he collected? mm-hmm. where does that go? tell her, james. i'm gonna go pack. james. james?

james... i know you want what's best for us, but i don't want you running around the country with that wolf in god's clothing. baby, this is a chance for me to give you and the kids something to build a life on. then think about the kids. we're trying to teach them honesty. what are they gonna think when you run around town with scheming sam, the rip-off man? baby, that man offered me a job making $100 a day. i don't care what anyone says. i like reverend sam. well, speak of the devil. only to drive him out of people's hearts, sister willona. you were something else out there tonight, rev. pure dy-no-mite. you sure was. but you didn't light my fuse. my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my. sill a nonbeliever, eh? one of the sadnesses of my calling is that you simply can't reach everyone.

right from the pulpit to the pocket. [ laughs ] you will excuse me. some of us poor people still have to work for a living. wow, you and dad are going to some great places! baby, i ain't gonna say this but one more time -- $100 a day. baby, without money, people like us ain't got no chance at all. but it ain't always gonna be that way, james. it says so right in the bible. "the day will come when the lion will lay down with the lamb." yeah, but only the lion gonna get up. ready to roll, sam. fine, james. and i bet you're going with your good woman's blessings. you lose that bet. sister, florida, i do the lord's work. i heard that help was hard to get,

[ knock on door ] i'll get it. reverend sam, we have to go if you want to catch that plane. you're right, and, ed, i'd like you to meet my old friend james evans who will be traveling with us for a while. oh, that's great. our next stop is philadelphia. it's a good town for you to take over the wheelchair gig. "the wheelchair gig." you're the old man... crippled in the wheelchair. it's the boogie-woogie man. and what do you have to say to that, reverend? i hire the handicapped. uh, wait for me downstairs, ed. wow, out of sight. now, that's heavy. you sure are slick, rev. but you know what would work better than an old man getting healed?

like me. picture this. i come down the aisle in the wheelchair. everybody's watching me, right? i get down to the front of the stage, and i fall out of the chair! and i start crawling to you. reverend sam, help me. please help me. heal me! by then, the audience is going crazy. then you come and lift me up to my knees, and you say, "you are healed. the spirit of god has healed you." and i stand up and hold my arms out to the audience and say, "i am healed! "i am healed! "i can walk... "i can run... "i can dance... i can even boogie!" what do you say, rev? i got a gig?

there's always room on god's train for one more. you can make that room for two more, sam, 'cause he ain't going, and i ain't going. james, you're passing up a golden opportunity. sam, they don't print enough money to make me ruin my son's life. come on, dad. ruin me! junior, sit down. oh, wow. every time we get something going, it's -- and shut up! we don't roar we don't fight but we're gonna score tonight still honest james. i'll be seeing you. sam.

i guess them numbers just started dancing in front of my eyes. can you ever forgive me?

-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com captions provided by sony pictures television

good times anytime you need a payment good times anytime you need a friend good times anytime you're out from under not getting hassled, not getting hustled keeping your head above water making a wave when you can temporary layoffs good times easy credit rip-offs good times scratching and surviving good times hanging in a chow line good times ain't we lucky we got 'em?