good times anytime you need a payment good times anytime you need a friend good times anytime you're out from under not getting hassled, not getting hustled keeping your head above water making a wave when you can temporary layoffs good times easy credit rip-offs good times scratching and surviving good times hanging in a chow line good times ain't we lucky we got 'em?

thelma: mama, you pressing my dress yet? i'm just getting started. someday when i want a vacation, i'm gonna take a job as a maid. well, it's saturday night, and you got yourself a couple of teenagers. yeah, well, i'm not too happy about thelma's date. she's going out with a 21-year-old boy. well, what are you worried about? thelma's 16. when i was 16, i went out with 21-year-old boys and -- you know, florida, maybe you got something to worry about. oh, hi, willona. hi, sweetie. if you're in a hurry for this dress,

you don't have to iron that. i decided to wear my pink one. well, thanks for giving me the rest of the night off. you know, thelma, your daddy and i still ain't too pleased with this boy you're going out with tonight. mama, you and daddy still on that kick? you'll both change your mind when you meet eddie. i'm the luckiest girl in the world! eddie asked me for a date. he's brilliant, kind, sensitive and thoughtful and intellectual -- and too old! eddie's fantastic, ma. he's gonna be a professor someday. he got his bachelor's degree, and now he's going for his master's degree. he's the most wonderful boy i ever met in my whole life! oh, thelma. oh, ma. oh, 16. what a great age. that's when you meet the most wonderful guy in your whole life every week.

yeah, we had that same starry-eyed look when we were young. i remember you and jimmy phillips. what about you and charlie ketchum? charlie. you know, i can still remember how gone i was on him. ooh, tall, slim, smooth. ooh, and when he danced, boy, could he dip! i found this heavy new mouthwash. it's called "control tower." one gargle, and all the girls are circling around waiting for landing instructions. who's he going out with tonight? some girl named gloria. last night it was sharla. two nights before that, it was linda. and the night before that, it was barbara.

play two nights, rest one night. he may be a wild tiger now, but someday that one girl is gonna hook him and -- zap -- one skinny, tame house cat. amen. well, good lord, what is this? what? "sexual behavior in the ghetto"? well, how did this trash get into my house? i don't know, but let's sit down and read it. it's a lot of typewritten pages. it looks like the kind of dirty trash that kids pass around between each other. let me see. uh-huh. pretty heavy stuff. ooh-whee! now, here's something that's interesting. i'm not interested. it says, "the male --" let me see that.

i'll make him sorry he brought garbage like this into this house. now, how do you know it was j.j.? it might have been james. we been married for 18 years, and i got news for you. james don't need no instructions. well, i still say a refresher course ain't never hurt nobody. no, this is j.j., all right. florida, why are you so surprised? j.j.'s 17. today, kids read that kind of stuff. i don't like what's going on, and i don't want my kids exposed to it. what are you gonna do, florida? it's a whole new world. well, personally, i liked the old world better. j.j., come out of there. i want to talk to you. j.j., come out here. yeah, mama. j.j., how do you explain this? what?

i don't know. if they can't explain it in here, i sure can't. don't give me none of your sass. what are you doing with this? that ain't mine. don't lie to me, j.j. i ain't lying. i wouldn't buy nothing like that. i'd rather wait for the movie to come out. hi, everybody. hi. what's happening? nothing. why don't you go outside and play? mama, i've been playing basketball for three hours. oh, well, then go outside and play some more. mama, what you trying to do? i could get a heart attack. all right. then go into my room and do your homework. already did my homework. michael! mama, why you trying to get rid of me? does it have something to do with what you're hiding behind your back?

oh, don't be ridiculous. well, he does the most reading in the family. what you got there? is it something on black unity? in a way. it's "sexual behavior in the ghetto." j.j.! well, it ain't mine. mama, if you and daddy having any problems... ...there's a whole section about it in the library. well, if you don't want any problems, you get that junk off my couch and go into the room like i told you. yes, ma'am. j.j., you ought to be ashamed of yourself blaming an 11-year-old boy for reading such trash.

9 michael wouldn't be interested in that stuff anyway, right? that's right -- i'm only interested in stuff that will help the black community. if it wasn't for stuff like that, there wouldn't be no black community. go to your room. i don't know what i'm gonna do with this one. i try to raise a good christian family, and here it is my oldest son has the morals of a philistine. aw, mama, i didn't have nothing to do with this thing. i want you to hush. i've heard enough of it. hey, is this the last round, or do i still got time to lay down a bet on the fight? we got troubles. we're really gonna have trouble if you don't give me some sugar. hi, james. hey, willona, i see you got your usual ringside seat. look here, florida, before you hit me

it's been on my mind all day, and i still don't like the idea of thelma going out with this 21-year-old boy. that don't even make the top 30 on the fuss charts. here's number one. will you look at what j.j. brought into this house? "sexual behavior in the ghetto." now, hold on, dad. i didn't have nothing to do with this. [ laughing ] you son of a gun. james! aw, baby, you call this serious? a boy his age wanting to know about these things is the most normal thing in the world. and he ain't a boy no more. shucks, he's a man. come here, junior. come here. i thought i told you everything there was to know. i can't blame you for wanting to find out something else, though, you dog, you. you know, son, i was just like you

did all right with the girls, too. i bet you were dy-no-mite. i was nitroglycerin. [ laughter ] of course, that was before i met your mother. boy, the chicks used to line up just waiting for a ride in that big, black limousine. big, black limousine? when did you drive a big, black limousine, dad? i used to drive a friend's hearse. aw, it's so nice to see a father and son talking things over. oh, shut up, willona. father and son, huh? they look more like a couple of sailors on weekend passes. well, i got to get ready for my date. look here, junior. if you're making time in the hallway, don't lean up against no doorbells. [ laughter ] dy-no-mite! well, that's a fine way to raise your son, james. what you planning for him next,

well, i hate to give up my ringside seat, but i am totally disgusted by this whole discussion on "sexual behavior in the ghetto." well, let me relieve you of your embarrassment. now, james, about j.j. and this. oh, baby, you getting upset about nothing. nothing? you call this kind of trash nothing? that's right, nothing. it's perfectly normal for a kid his age, and it ain't a filthy piece of trash. i'm surprised at you for being so old-fashioned. old-fashioned? mm-hmm. hi, daddy. hey, baby. mama, where'd you find that? i've been looking all over for it. yours, thelma? yes. that's yours? yes. well, young lady, you set down here right now! right now, i mean it!

reading this filthy piece of trash! shopping for an suv? well, this is the time. and your ford dealer is the place, to get 0% financing for 60 months on a ford suv. that's right. just announced. ford explorer...edge...escape... and expedition... are available with 0% financing for 60 months. ford suvs. designed to help you be unstoppable. no wonder ford is america's best selling brand. but hurry, 0% financing for 60 months on ford suvs is a limited time offer.

thelma, what has gotten into you lately? going out with 21-year-old men and reading stuff like this? there's nothing wrong with going out with someone 21 years old, dad. and what's wrong with reading stuff like that? because it's stuff like that. daddy, it's not what you think. it's educational. educational. where was it printed, porno tech? james, there's no need to shout at the girl. florida, what's wrong with you? ain't you as upset about this as i am? well, i'm not exactly thrilled, but i'm also a little confused. about what? when you thought it was j.j. reading this stuff, it was hallelujah time. now that you find out that it's thelma's, you want to call in the exorcist. there's a difference between girls and boys. no kidding.

you know what i mean. boys don't get pregnant. no, but they're usually somewhere around the scene of the crime. will you stop trying to defend your daughter? i don't need defending. i have no intention of getting pregnant. i just hope your 21-year-old boyfriend knows that. oh, james. daddy, he's a wonderful person, and you're making him sound like a lecherous old man. all right, baby, i'm sorry. he's a lecherous young man. thelma, why can't you go out with boys your own age? because they're boring and immature. they don't know what it's all about. yeah. james, aren't you forgetting something? when we were going out, you were three years older than me.

what do you mean by that? i mean you was experienced. what?! i don't mean that. that ain't what i mean. i don't know what i mean. this girl about to drive me up the wall -- 21-year-old boyfriend and reading that filthy trash. oh, daddy, you're lost somewhere in the 19th century. mom, i'm going downstairs to wait for eddie. you hold on, young lady. you ain't going nowhere. ma! james, thelma is a good girl. yeah, and she's gonna stay that way. well, i gots to keep on trucking. don't wait up for me tonight 'cause it's gonna be a long evening.

now i've seen everything. you let the wolf out the door, and you're gonna lock little red riding hood up. yeah, how come it's all right for him to go out on a date and not me? he ain't my daughter. i ain't got to worry about him. well, he's going out with somebody's daughter. well, then, let her father worry. daddy, i haven't done anything wrong. thelma, just go to your room, baby, till i can figure this out. mama. now, james. don't worry about eddie. i'm gonna treat it real diplomatic-like. when he get here, i'll just say, "eddie, she can't go out this evening. she got a fever of 105 degrees." then i'll throw him down the stairs.

now, you hear that?! you hear the dirty words she done picked up from reading that trash?! oh, james, chauvinist ain't no dirty word. you ain't ever seen it on the walls of the projects, have you? hey, mama, what's the matter with thelma? she's crying like crazy. it's nothing that concerns you, son. go back in your room and study. aw, mama, why is it that every time something goes on around here, i got to go back in my room and study? you know, i'm gonna be smart in school, but i sure am gonna be stupid to what's happening around here. michael, go on back in your room. daddy -- don't "daddy" me. go on back in your room now. james... your daughter is in there crying. oh, baby, you got to understand, i love our sons, both of them,

she's special. she's my little girl. little girl? have you had a good look at her lately? yeah, and that's what scares the hell out of me. baby, i know we raised her right, and i know she knows right from wrong, but 21 years old -- i just -- oh, james, did you see the look in her eyes when she started talking about him? i had the same glow on my face when i told my parents about you. yeah, but you had reason to glow. well, so has she. now, eddie is somebody special. he's gonna be a college professor. so he'll use a lot of big words you don't understand. [ knock on door ] oh, that's him now. look, this is a very special moment for thelma. well -- come on, at least talk to him.

hi. i'm eddie conroy. is this the evans apartment? well, it ain't "let's make a deal." you must be mr. evans. i'm thelma's mother. won't you come in? yes, thank you, ma'am. is thelma ready? ready for what? the concert starts in about a half an hour. she'll be ready in a little while. you know how girls are. yes. yeah, i bet you do. james, please. won't you sit down? yes, thank you. would you like a drink? a cup of coffee, a soda pop? no, thanks. why don't you offer him a belt of booze? he's 21, ain't he? [ laughs ] james. young man, you mind if i ask you a question?

how'd a dude like you ever meet my daughter? well, i interviewed her while i was doing my research. research? yes, i'm completing a thesis for my master's. thesis? this cat even uses short words you don't understand. you see that, james? he interviewed thelma for his thesis. what's it about? well, it's called "sexual behavior in the ghetto." this?! yes. i found thelma to be one of my more interesting subjects. you wrote about my daughter in this here thing?! she's page 25. i told you when a 21-year-old cat go out with a 16-year-old girl, he ain't looking for no ice cream. i don't understand. i understand you wrote a piece of trash here. i don't appreciate you getting my daughter mixed up in it. i told you 21 years old ain't nothing but trouble. i ought to drop him -- oh, james. a college thesis can't be dirty. can it?

a cross section of ghetto residents and asked them about their sexual behavior. yeah, well, it still don't sound like mother goose to me. just tell me one thing, baby. what does it say on page 25? my interview with thelma helped to prove a strong theory i have. in broken homes with just one parent, there's a high percentage of loose attitudes toward sex. he is right, james. that's what thelma's interview is about. it says so right here. "but in homes with a solid family foundation, "especially a strong father figure, "the incidence of unwanted pregnancies is almost nonexistent." you mean page 25 is clean? it sure is. and that's all thelma's interview was all about. it makes real nice reading, too. what did you say was the reason for thelma's low... incidence. yeah. "homes with a solid family foundation."

oh, "strong father figures." yeah. that's the part. hey, thelma, what's keeping you, girl? don't you know your date's out here waiting on you? hi, eddie. hi, thelma. wow, you look great. thanks. thank you, daddy. mm-hmm. have a nice time, baby. we will, daddy. good night, mr. and mrs. evans. you take care of my little girl, now. if eddie needs some more work on his, uh, thesis, he can come up here and fire away anytime 'cause, like he said in the paper, i'm an expert on how to raise kids, right?

-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com captions provided by sony pictures television just looking out of the window

thinking how it all looks hand-me-dow good times anytime you need a payment good times anytime you need a friend good times anytime you're out from under not getting hassled, not getting hustled keeping your head above water making a wave when you can temporary layoffs good times easy credit rip-offs good times scratching and surviving good times hanging in a chow line good times ain't we lucky we got 'em?