movin' on up we finally got a piece of the pie fish don't fry in the kitchen beans don't burn on the grill took a whole lotta tryin' just get up that hill now we're up in the big leagues gettin' our turn at bat as long as we live it's you and me, baby there ain't nothin' wrong with that well, we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky mo-ooh-vin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up

florence, what are you doing? looking at a man with the widest part in his hair i've ever seen. i'm throwing this out. no, you ain't! this is my memory box. you're storingso much in the closet, there's no roomfor my clothes. that's no problem. stop shopping. dream on, george.

we don't haveroom for this. i'll take what i want to the office and put it in the safe. to make room for it, keep the money in my closet. dream on, florence. i'd love to relive these memories, but i'm going to choir practice. with your voice, it'll turn into target practice. you could be inthat spielberg movie. what movie? baldergeist. oh, george, look! my engagement ring! you can tell i didn't have much money. but i love itjust the same. [whistles] uh-oh.

this should bring back good times. what is it? it doesn't concern you, weez. can i look at that? no. i'm taking this to the office. you're taking itright now? but it's in the way. know what i like about you? most wives want to know everything, but not you. most wives are suspicious, but not you. most husbandswould showthat picture. but not me! [doorbell rings] that's willis. we're going to the hockey game. ha-ha! hi. come in.

how you doing? george will be right out. what's in the box? just some mementos that george has collected. and you two weresharing the memories, huh? most of them. there's a photograph he wouldn't show me. he's being very secretive. well, helen and ihave neverhad any secrets. ready forthe big game? we'd better hurry. i've got tostop by the office. i'm looking forward to this. what's your pick? i thought i'd go with a corn dog. why not?i'm goingwith an idiot. it's justus girls tonight. what would youlike to do? i don't know, helen. do you want some candy?

is something wrong,louise? no, nothing's wrong. you want some more candy? thank you,i'm full. that picture is stillbothering you, isn't it? i just can't understand why he's locking it in his office safe. i'm sure it's nothing. let's getyour mind off it. want tosee a movie? no. how aboutsome shopping? naw. what would you like to do? break into george's office. sounds like fun. then afterwards,maybe we cangrab some food. i'm serious, helen. that picture's nagging at me.

forget it, louise. no! i'm sure we can pull it off. i know it's breaking and entering, but if we-- hold it. before you continue,something yousaid bothers me. what? "breaking and entering"? no. "we." now, helen... remember when we were at that charity luncheon, and that creamed chicken didn't agree with you? who gave you the quarter for the ladies' room? you did. right. when you were all dressed up for that party and discovered a run in your stockings, who gave you a pair with the reinforced toe? you did.

i'm a little hurt you won't break and enter with me. but breakingand entering? come on, helen! it's not as if i'm asking you to commit a crime! i couldn't.it's dishonest. i wouldn't feel right. i feel guiltywhen i buy oneand get one free. it's not like we're stealing. besides, it's my husband's office. uh-uh.it's too risky. besides, doesn'tgeorge havea burglar alarm? i know how to turn it off. he has a guard dog. killer? he adores me. how will youget into the safe? piece of cake. i know the combination. i don't know, louise.

"trust me. "what could possiblygo wrong?" she says. "it's a piece of cake,"she says. don't do this to yourself, helen. you've been all over this in the paddy wagon. please don't go over it again. "no problem," she says. "i know the number to turn off the alarm."

it could happento anybody. and the guard dog? wait a second. i was rightabout killer. he loves me. well, he didn't love me. sorry about your dress. we almostgot away with it. at least i rememberedthe combination. oh, and thank goodness you did. if you hadn't, the police never would've caught us with our hands in the safe. helen, you reallyare a criminal! i'm sorry, louise. i guess i'm just a little edgy. being behind bars has something to do with it. that's ok, helen. you'll get used to it.

just like youasked me tocommit a felony. call george andget us out of here! he'll know i don't trust him! i'd rather die! i wouldn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position. oh, thank you, helen. i'm sure you'll understand when i say i intend to let you rot while i call my husband to get me out of here! guard! guard! please don't do that! then he'll tell george! remember that quarter i loaned you? i'll writeyou a check. guard! yeah. what is it? i'd like to make my one phone call. it'll beall right. don't tell tom you're with me.

so i blew upthe lincoln tunnel. oh. that was a joke. she did it! nobody knows the trouble i've seen hey, shut up, mac! all right.come on. come on. all right. in you go, girls.

looks good, sal. you painted it since the last time we were here. fast work. glad you like it, crystal. hello there. i'm louise jefferson,and you're... shut up. all right. i guess you're infor prostitution, huh? no. we're three of the abscam senators. i'll stand over there,

oh, look. you invitedthe girls over for a slumber party. here i am, miles away from my fuzzy slippers. did youreach tom? madison square garden put me on hold and never came back. if i find out tom wouldn't leave the hot dog stand, i'll kill him. come on, helen,lighten up. there is a funny sideon all this. oh, really? of course. i mean, like... that woman over there is wearingthe same dress you are. thanks, louise. i admit i was feeling low until you brought up that cheery news.

it's as ifi'm seeing youfor the first time. helen. helen. you're havingfun over there, and i feelsort of lonely. how about lettingbygones be bygones? what do you say, huh? hmm! can i take thatas a "no"? i can't take it. i got to get out of here! the walls are closing in on me! i told you to shut up, mac! i am not a mac!

i'd like to see my wife. i'm the george jefferson of jefferson cleaners. seven locations. my god! that's my husband! is there a secret tunnel here? that's my wife,officer. hi, george. how was the game? helen, angel, are you all right? what are you laughing at? that woman's wearing the same dress you are! this is no time for jokes! get me out of here! she's been very snippy tonight for some reason. come hereso we can chat. what about? about this. oh, george, i'm so ashamed! i don't know what came over me!

maybe you can bail me out! of course,my sweetheart. bail weezy out for me. that's a lotof money! now we're even. i paid for your corn dogs! looks like you'rein big trouble this time. i know, george. good thingyou married me. if you were marriedto somebody else, i'd press charges. why did you wantthis picture? you didn't want to share it with me. i realized that, after all these years, you have memories that don't include me. if you want it so bad,here it is. i trust you. i don't want it. you don't, huh? you had me sent up the river,

well, i do. it's for weezy only. go over thereand compare dresses. why, you little... dry cleaner! i really don't want to look at it. take it back. well, since you insist. george, this isn't you and a girl. it's you and your teddy bear. wait a minute. how old were you here? 18. 18? that's whyi was hiding it. i was embarrassed. 18. what a weirdo. shut up!

why take a picture of your teddy bear? our neighborhad a fire. their little girl'sdoll got burned. i gave her pooky. pooky? i had himfor 18 years. that's whati remember him by. that's sweet, george. i'm sorry i didn't trust you. i want all your memories to be of me. all the best ones are. oh, george. ladies, you're free to go. good-bye, girls.it's been real. hey, helen! give me a call.

helen, i hope you don't still hate me for all this. oh, hate you, louise? don't be silly. you're mybest friend. oh, good. it was quite an adventure, wasn't it? don't push it,louise. excuse me. look. some business cards.seven locations. you must've leanedagainst one of them. this better be important. i was in the middle of something. i didn't knowyou two still... i was eating a boston cream pie. i forgot.it's your2 a.m. feeding. very funny, george.

about a boston cream pieby moonlight. the ripple ofthe light onthe cream filling. little by little, you reachthat glorious moment when the moonreflects offthe empty pie tin. you sucked down a whole pie. i didn'twant to cheapen it. what's allthis about? the sergeant gave me weezy and helen's mugshots. tsk-tsk-tsk. what's wrong? i've told helena thousand times, "smile when somebodytakes your picture." your brain goes down with the sun. we should play a practical joke on our wives. i haven't playeda practical jokeon helen since... well, since... since you said "i do"? we'll go to the help center

everyone will know they've been in jail. that's a great idea! let's go to the help center. how will we get in? with weez's key. what aboutthe alarm? i can turn it off. i've known the guard for years. it seems risky.

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc. public performance of captions prohibited without permission ofnational captioning institute well, we're movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky mo-ooh-vin' on up

to the east side movin' on up we finally got a piece of the pie fish don't fry in the kitchen beans don't burn on the grill took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hill now we're up in the big leagues gettin' our turn at bat as long as we live it's you and me, baby there ain't nothing wrong with that well, we're movin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky mo-ooh-vin' on up movin' on up to the east side movin' on up