girls were girls and men were men (both) mister, we could use a man like herbert hoover again didn't need no welfare states everybody pulled his weight (both) gee, our old lasalle ran great those were

i'm tellin' you for the last time, get away from me. get away from me! it's the administration that's causin' all your problems. where do you think your inflation comes from? i know where my inflation comes from. from the gas that you give me. what are you two fightin' about now? i ain't fightin'. he's the one that's doin' the fightin', all i'm doin' is talkin'.

this anniversary party which i cannot afford. and all i am saying is the reason you are uptight is because, a: your union is about to go on strike-- hold it. hold it. i ain't uptight about that strike. and b: between the recession and inflation, this administration is taking you to the cleaners. oh, get away from me. you can't walk away from an argument! you've been pinchin' pennies for months, you're down to one cigar a day, and you are scared stiff about that strike. i ain't scared about that strike, i ain't scared about nothin'. you are too scared. you're scared your union's about to go on strike because of the high cost of living that this administration promised to bring down six years ago. [exclaiming] the only thing that scares me is the high cost of your appetite. if you listen to your president, you'd know that he had the answer to inflation. the country's got to produce more goods, then we gotta have little more unemployment. so when there's more goods to buy and less people who can afford to buy the goods,

that is the stupidest damn thing you've ever said. you watch your language, don't be swearin' in the house. oh, come on, arch. what's the difference? daddy! what is the difference between this house and the white house? what are you bringin' up the white house for? it's a fact, arch, nixon swore. listen. now, i say this for the man. he never swore in the house in front of his family. only with the people workin' for him, because they're germans, you gotta swear at germans. daddy, swearing's just a sign of a small mind. ah, shut the hell up. i don't see how you can keep defending the guy. i mean, he had to resign because he lied about the cover-up. he did not lie. he forgot to tell the truth.

you get away from me. but as long as you're still with me, let me tell you somethin' else. there's a lot of presidents done a lot worse than president nixon. like who? oh, like a lot of them, like, uh, well, for instance, the guy-- that guy-- that guy-- the guy, that, uh, went into the capitol, and under the dome and was sellin' the teapots on the side. you mean harding? that's right, alexander e. harding. and nobody said a word to him because in them days, people have respect for what do you call, uh, executive's privileges. daddy, you better try to get in a good mood for this party. oh, never mind my mood, little girl, just keep hangin' your steamers over there. you're the one that got me into this whole expensive party here. made me go out and buy your mother an engagement ring after she went 26 years without one. did you get it? yeah, yeah, here it is, right here. oh, it's beautiful. it ought to be beautiful. cost me $85.

well, listen, it's a $229 ring. spike waterman's old lady didn't need it anymore. she went on one of them screwball diets, all the fat come off of her behind and went into her fingers. michael, will you please help me over here? yeah, yeah, sure. daddy, you really think you're goin' on strike, huh? well, i don't know, if some of them young hot-heads down the plant get their way. i don't know what these guys want. they've been askin' for staggered work shifts, lounges with pictures on the wall, and books. they wanna turn a factory into a house of pleasure. they don't wanna work, they're a bunch of fairies. daddy, people should be treated with respect. listen, little girl, respect is for the dead. the living need dough. sometimes, you got to strike.

i'm an old trade union man long before you was born. let me tell you, there's a right way to strike, and a wrong way to strike. and the right way to strike is don't strike. what? that's the way it is, you gotta threaten to strike. you see, you gotta play the rules of the bargaining game. now, you ask the bosses for more than you know they're willin' to give you. then the bosses come back and they offer you less than they know you're willin' to take. and you meet someplace in the middle, and you compromise each other. and as for you... [blowing] stick 'em up, everybody. aw, gee! what is that? it's a party favor. now watch, i pull the trigger and it goes "pop". i mean, "bang". dingbat. i'll give you a hand, ma. oh, thanks, mike. oh, my! the decorations look beautiful, gloria. thanks, ma.

i'll get it. hello. oh, yes, he's here. may i tell him who's calling, please? who's that on the phone, little girl? just a minute. it's a mr. ted bartlett. ted bartlett, that's the president of my union. give me the phone. give me-- give me the phone. give--give-- give me the... w-will you give me the phone? give me the phone! get outta here. yeah. a. bunker speaking, yeah. yes, mr. bartlett. how are you? aw, get outta there, stretch cunningham. i know your voice. my, i hope that ain't bad news. you're really worried about a strike, aren't you, ma? oh, yeah, and i hope it don't happen. still, i don't know how we'll manage if archie don't get more money. i can't figure it out, gloria. 20 years ago,

and then, i always had somethin' left over to put in the savings bank. now there ain't hardly nothin' left in there. and i got nothin' to put in. i don't know how long the bank can afford to go on like this. (archie) aw, whoopy-doo! hey, everybody! good news, edith! bring my beer. whoop-dee-doo. [all exclaiming] edith, you know who that was on the phone? should i guess? no, sit down. it was stretch cunningham. he was calling me about the strike. he was usin' the executive's toilet at work. he called to tell you he went to the toilet? the executive toilet, meathead. see, he was up in the office part of the plant, so he figured, well, as long as he was up there, why not? why not what? why not see how the other half, uh, lives?

in comes jim sanders, the personnel manager, and the big boss, old man pendergast himself. oh, my, i hope stretch didn't get caught in there. no, no, no, no, they didn't even see him. see, he picked his feet up. he heard sanders say to pendergast, "mr. pendergast, you think there's gonna be a strike?" and pendergast said to sanders, "no, there ain't gonna be no strike because we can't afford no strike." [all cheering] that's great, arch. terrific news. gee, i just hope it's true. certainly, it's true. men never lie in toilets. in toilets, everything is out in the open. well, now aren't you glad i talked you into having your wedding anniversary party? sure i'm glad now that there's somethin' to celebrate. in fact, edith, you know, i think i'm gonna run down the corner and buy myself some more cigars. you wanna come, meathead? we can finish the fight. yeah, all right.

everybody will be here in about half hour. that's why i'm leaving you, gloria. you're gonna do it much better without me. (archie) there ain't gonna be no strike there ain't gonna be no strike, no strike 'cause there ain't gonna be no strike oh, my! what a relief. now maybe, your father will get a good night's sleep. oh, hasn't daddy been sleepin', ma? oh, no. i can always tell when he's sleepin' 'cause he snores like this. [snoring] [gibbering] what's he do when he's not sleeping? he don't snore. [doorbell ringing] oh, i'll get it. that's probably louise. she's makin' a cake for the party. is this the bunker's residence? yeah. telegram. oh, thank you.

go ahead, ma. open it. oh, no. it says bunker. it might be for your father. ma, your name's bunker, too. it's probably a happy-anniversary wire. go on, open it. oh, all right. if you say so. i'll just read my half. [gasping] i shouldn't have opened it. why not? it's from your father's union. he's gotta go on strike on monday. but that's not what daddy just said. i know. but he was wrong, gloria.

bye bye blackbird where somebody waits for me sugar's sweet, so is he bye bye blackbird ma. you can't stay in the kitchen all night. gloria, i wonder what's keepin' mike and archie. oh, they probably just stopped off at kelsey's for a beer and the rest of their argument. gloria, maybe i was wrong. maybe, i better show archie the telegram when he gets back. no, ma, your first instinct was right. you mean, if i tell him about the strike, it'll spoil the party? i mean, if you tell him about the strike, there won't be any party. now, ma, come on. let's have a good time, ok? all right. come on, louise. (both) i make my bed and light the light i'll arrive late tonight blackbird

[exclaims] oh, ma. don't look like that. you gotta cheer up. if daddy comes home and sees you lookin' like this, he'll suspect something. smile! i'll try. wait a second, arch, you can't tell her. don't tell me what i can't do. i never got stuck in a door in my life until my daughter married you. don't never come through a doorway with me again. arch, arch, wait a second, wait a second. what if we hadn't run into dutch kreeger, huh? and what if dutch kreeger hadn't told us that the strike was on? and what if your grandmother had wheels? then she'd be a bike, and you could pedal away from here. think about those other people in there. you invited them over just so you could give ma the ring.

all right, go ahead, go in there and tell her, ruin the few happy hours that she might be havin', spoil the whole party. that should make you feel real good. leave me alone, will you? just you leave me alone. [all chattering] oh, geez. she's in there all smiles. you're right, meathead. how am i gonna go out there and throw cold water in that happy face that don't know nothing? all right, come on with me. and try to look cheerful yourself, will you? you look like one of them pallberries at a funeral. wait. wait. let me go through the door first, please. [inaudible] uh, in the refrigerator. here? see you, arch. i wanna wish you a happy anniversary, edith.

26 years with archie, you sure did some woman a big favor. oh, thank you. gloria, what woman did he mean? uh, ma, i--i think we need some more sandwiches. oh, yeah. george, don't just stand here like a stick. mingle around, talk with people. why should i talk to them? i don't even feel like talkin' to you. hey, uh... hey, edith, i got somethin' to tell you. oh, yeah. uh, edith. i--i got somethin' to tell you. oh, is that so? will you stand still? it's like talkin' to a moth. i'm--i'm sorry, archie. what do you wanna tell me? well, it's just... edith, it...

oh, yeah. yeah, sure. are you? yeah, look at me. that's nice. oh, i better put these sandwiches in there. yeah, put the sandwiches in there, edith. and have fun, you hear? oh, mike, would you pass these sandwiches around? no, no, that's like askin' the elephant to pass the peanuts. ah, look at this. don't be rootin' under the pile. can't you take what's on top? can't you be indelicate for a change? irene, play another song, huh? ok. but when are you gonna cut the anniversary cake? oh, all in due time. in due time. you know, like the good book says, "patience is a virgin." help yourself to a sandwich here, louise. oh, thank you, archie. hey, bunker. how come you're giving this party? you about to go on strike. oh, dummy up on that strike stuff, huh, jefferson. who said anything about goin' on strike here?

yeah. there ain't gonna be no strike. listen, the bosses can't get along without us. so they know, they gotta divvy up with us. see, that's the trouble with you people. you always think that-- hold it, hold it, hold it. who are you callin' "you people"? you people are "you people". i'm talkin' about your unions askin' for higher wages. that's bad for the country. hey, now, if it's bad for the country, how come you raised the prices on the cleaning store? he done that? he did on the white clothes. that figures, jefferson. you know something, lionel. you're the reason we never had a second child. somethin' i gotta tell you-- no, no, no, save it, save it, save it, edith. there's somethin' much more important i gotta do right now.

hey, hold it down, hold it down. just for two or three instances over here, huh? i got a little announcement i gotta announce now. as yous all know, edith and me are married 26 years today. [all cheering] do you have to be eatin' during this? but 27 years ago, edith and me got engaged to be married, right, edith? right. yeah. you know when a guy asks a girl to get married, that's the highest compliment he can pay. and it's usually the last one, too. hey don't help me there, mrs. j, huh? well, when i asked edith to marry me, i didn't have the money to afford an engagement ring. but i said to her, "one day. one day." and as you know, edith, i always keep my promises, see. so now, this here is the day, and there we are. [all exclaiming] oh, archie! hey, now.

put it right on there. there. now, ain't that nice? oh, archie. oh. oh, oh! relax. i'll take care of that. don't worry. hey, tears of happiness, folks. tears of happiness. the woman's delirious. made you happy, huh, edith? archie, that's the nicest thing you ever done for me. i know that, edith. it's a beautiful ring. oh, that ought to be. that's a whole quarter of a carat there. oh, you don't have to cry no more. you can start feelin' better now. hey, you wanna kiss me again? no! i ain't cryin' about the ring. then, what are you cryin' 'cause of?

now where did you get that? it came while you was out. you better read it. i don't have to read it, edith. i know what's in there. you know? well, then, how come you was having such a good time? i done all that because of you, edith. and you knew all the time. i was out there all night long killin' myself bein' happy. why did you put me through that? i'm sorry, archie. i don't mind if you wanna take this back. oh, no! edith! come on, would you? here. that's your ring there. edith, you keep that. that's yours, that's yours. anyway, what would i get for it? ma, you all right? yeah, i'm fine, gloria. daddy? yeah, yeah, fine, fine. i suppose she knows all about this.

oh, no, no. just mike and gloria. when are you comin' out? everybody is waitin' for you to cut the cake. (both) we'll be right there, gloria. ok. come on, let's go back to the party, archie. w-w-wait-- it'll make us both feel better. wait a minute, edith. i gotta tell you something. what with this strike comin' on, and all the inflation, cost of livin', i mean, things could get very tough. i know, archie. but we'll make out all right. we always have. there ain't nothin' to be afraid of. remember what president roosevelt said. what did he say? he said, "there ain't nothin' to fear, but fear itself." oh, yeah. but he was workin' when he said it.

on a rainy rainy day and if your sweety cries just tell her

(male announcer) all in the family was recorded on tape before a live audience. mimiller played songs that made the hit parade guys like us, we had it made those were the days

girls were girls and men were men (both) mister, we could use a man like herbert hoover again didn't need no welfare states everybody pulled his weight (both) gee, our old lasalle ran great those were

just think, irene. a strike in the middle of all this, what do you call it, inflation. yeah, i'm worried. but i--i'm more worried about archie worryin' because he don't know how to worry without gettin' upset. oh, here he is. maybe he can tell you somethin'. who's that on the blower?

she wants to know somethin' about the strike. [mimicking edith] she wants to know somethin' about the strike. gimme that. here's arch. hello there. oh, listen, before you say anything, uh, do you remember that song that had you in it? that's right, odnight, irene. oh, archie. oh, to hell with her. oh, you must have had bad news today. no, i didn't have no bad news, i had good news. but why waste it on her when i got you? good news? the strike is working real good. we threw a picket line around our plant this morning and it helped. nobody crossed. we got the whole place locked up tighter than a jew's purse. archie, that's terrible. what? mrs. mendelbaum is jewish. her--her purse is always open. she's very generous. i ain't interested in that.

she bought girl scout cookies and-- i ain't interested. i ain't interested in it, edith! i'm tryin' to tell you about my strike. ain't you interested in that? oh, sure. all right. well, i'm trying to tell you, it's gonna be over any minute. oh, archie. you really shouldn't worry. i'm telling you i ain't worrying. listen, there's 320 crates on that loadin' platform waitin' to be unloaded. they ain't gonna be unloaded until we get there to unload 'em. in other words, to put it for you in technical language, edith, we got the bosses by the short hairs. you shouldn't worry so much. i ain't worryin'. why do you keep sayin' that i'm worryin'? because i can see you talkin' out of the corners of your eyes. how the hell do you do that? well, like this.

"edith, uh, we got the bosses by their short hairs." i don't wanna hear nothin' more about it. i told you i ain't worried, that's the end of this. oh, if you say so. you are a pip, you know that? you still look worried. ah, gee... and listen, now don't start that. i can't stand that. why do you have to do that now? but wednesday is my vacuumin' day. oh, jeez. edith, you ran that thing into the left side of my foot where the bunion is, there. you hurt me, edith. oh, i'm sorry. well, don't start it again. now, edith, can't you do that tomorrow? oh, yeah, but the windows would be dirty. what, do you vacuum the windows? no. you see, thursday is my day to do the windows if it ain't rainin'. and if it's rainin', then i move my, uh,

and i do the windows on friday. and if it's still rainin' on friday, then i move my saturday ironin' day to friday. and i do the windows on saturday. and yeah, and--and if it's still rainin' on saturday... if it's still rainin' on saturday, then i get a day off because i ain't got nothin' to move from sunday. oh, jeez, look out there. you give me a whiplash with the wire. i'm sorry. would you put that thing away once and for all? i mean, can't you come over here and visit with me just a little bit? oh, no, not now, archie, i got to get dinner ready. wait a minute, wait a minute. what are you talkin' about dinner for? it's only 2:30 in the day. well, if i don't start now, it won't be ready when you are. yeah, but wait a minute, edith. what am i gonna do out here, all by myself?

i'll watch the end of the ball game. [grunting] [people chattering on tv] (commentator) so, in the bottom half of the third, the mets go down in order. no runs, no hits, no errors, nobody-- hey, edith. hey, edith, come here will you? yeah, archie. the vertizontal hold on this thing is still on the fritz. how am i gonna watch the ball game with the picture goin' like this? i thought i told you to get that fixed. oh, but, archie, we ain't paid dr. garfiend for fixin' the bursitis in your arm. but the bursitis is fixed. the tv ain't. forget garfiend. get the tv guy back here. oh, archie, i think we ought to wait. remember there ain't no checks comin' in. i know that, edith. but what am i supposed to do with myself here? well, you could read. in the middle of the day? well, you'll think of somethin'. but why am i always the one in this house

"your personality may be killing you." get out of here. [grunting] oh, let your smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day [humming] you want somethin', archie? no, i don't want nothin'. i was just hangin' around. figured maybe i'd keep you company here. oh, that's nice. excuse me. yeah, go ahead. excuse me. yeah, go ahead. i just come out because, uh, well, i, uh, i wanted to ask you somethin'.

what's new? well, let's see. oh, excuse me. go ahead. what's new? well, uh, remember mr. baxter who owns the tropical fish store around the corner? tropical fish... oh, yeah. i hate him. oh, he's very nice. his wife left him. well, i ain't surprised. she's younger than him. them things never last. well, that ain't no reason. i'm younger than you are. i ain't talkin' about minutes, edith. i'm talkin' about years. the fish guy's wife is half his age. oh, uh, excuse me, you're in my way. yeah, and why? how am i in your way here? well, i gotta get over there. then go over there. i'm in your way here, and i'm in your way there, and i'm in your way again.

now that i'm home i can see that you ain't organized here, edith. yeah. [mimicking edith] yeah. ok. there ain't nothin' i can do here to help you. am i gonna be in your way outside? oh, no. oh, hey, whoop-dee-doo, if it ain't my favorite son-in-law. hi there, michael. what's new? anything wrong? no, what could be wrong? i don't know. oh, i--i just figured since the two of us are home early, maybe you'd like to sit down and play me a couple of hands of gin rummy. i'd love to watch, really. but i just came home to get my books. i gotta run off to school. school? well, where you been up to now? why are you all duded up there lookin' like errol slim? i was out looking for a part-time job. you're kiddin'. since you're on strike, i figured, you know, with the economy the way it is, i--i just wanted to help out. i know how worried you are. hey, wait a minute there. wait a minute, wise guy.

i tell you as the head of this house, i ain't worried about nothin'. ok. yeah. well, wait a minute, wait a minute. did you get the job? no. ah, well, i could have guessed that. what's that supposed to mean? well, figure it out for yourself. you ain't got no qualifidations for nothin'. if you was to come in here, fresh off the street, applyin' for the job of my son-in-law, i wouldn't hire you. and if i knew you came with the job, i wouldn't take it. oh, edith, edith. no, wait a minute, wait a minute. edith, now stay here, huh? stay here. oh. come on, you don't have to rush around, huh? come, let's sit down here and play a hand of gin rummy. oh, no, archie, i got to go upstairs. edith, wait a minute, wait a minute, come here. i'm homemeere with you. don't you wanna be with me at all? oh, sure, archie.

now? you can hold the end of the sheet while i change the bed. [sputtering] what fun. hold the end of the sheet. now, go on, go on. go on upstairs. do whatever you have to do. find somethin' to do down here myself. [grunting] ah, what the hell. [people chattering on tv.] (commentator) and here's the pitch. fastball is in there, called strike. count evens at a ball and a strike. game's still tied 2-2, we're in the top of the...

louise, two weeks ago, archie sat in there tellin' me the strike would last only a day or so. archie ain't used to not workin', and i ain't used to havin' him around here all the time. yeah, i hear you. tell me, do those things really work? they better. oh, yesterday archie came home so mad. while they was picketin', dutch krieger threw his cigarette down and archie put it out with this shoe. that's what told him he had a hole. well, edith, there's a shoemaker right next to our cleaning shop.

oh, if i could spare $6.50 to buy half soles, i'd rather spend it on a half a roast. i didn't realize it was that tough. oh, no! for $6.50, meat is very tender. uh, well, uh, thanks for the coffee, edith. i'd better go so you can cook dinner. ooh, i got plenty of time. we're havin' spaghetti again tonight. it's the fourth time this week. [door slamming] oh, that's archie. i know his slam. i'm leaving. why? i know his slam, too. later. all right. bye, louise. hello, archie! how was the picketin' today? ah, jeez, it was lousy. my two poor hands are killin' me. oh. hey, did i get a phone call from the union hall? no. what's the matter with your hands? ah, gee, they gave me the biggest sign of all to carry.

and look at this. oh, how did you get that spot? a kid threw a tangerine at me. (gloria) giddyup, secretariat. giddyup, secretariat. (archie) ah, look at this! (gloria) ho, boy, ho. [neighing] (gloria) hold, boy. (archie) what are you doin' here? good boy. they're playin' horsie. no, they ain't. she's ridin' a jackass. just trying to lighten things up around here. i mean, if stretch cunningham had come galloping in like that, you'd have fallen down on the floor laughin'. hey, hey! don't mention the name of stretch cunningham in this house no more. stretch cunningham is a fink. he's judas iscariot of the loadin' platform. man didn't show up for picket duty again today. but, daddy, he's just probably sick.

edith, where's dinner, huh? just a minute. i just got to cook the spaghetti. come on, edith, have a heart, will you? when are we gonna see meat in this house again? tonight we're having spaghetti with marinara sauce. marinara sauce is nothin' but lumpy juice. and god knows what the lumps are. but, archie, meat is so expensive. all right, all right, edith. help me, lord. go ahead, get it on the table, huh? get it on. hey, arch? how are the negotiations goin'? oh, they're goin'. they're goin' right along. there could be a break any minute. i'm expectin' a phone call from the union. i wanna tell you somethin', buddy. when this strike is over, that's the last we're gonna see of spaghetti in this house. i feel so poor! edith. edith, come on, will you? things can't be that bad. we can have a little meat. oh, they are!

here's the phone bill, the gas and electric, and the mortgage. we ain't got enough money to pay them. what are you talkin' about? we got over $600 in the national city. oh, no. that's just $200 now. what did you do with the other $400? i transferred it to the queens saving and loan when they opened up a new branch, remember? i told you. when do i ever listen to you? you see, they gave a free gift with every account you opened. so i opened up four of 'em. w-wait a minute, edith. the money is still in there, eh? well, it is and it ain't. well, which is it, ain't or is? well, it--it--it is, but we can't take it out for a whole year. why not? you see, i got four wonderful gifts, things we really need, for nothin'.

but we didn't have a heatin' pad? well, now we got a heatin' pad. edith, we need money, we need meat. i got a thermal blanket for mike and gloria to keep 'em warm. they make their own heat up there. and for you, i got a transistor radio-- [stuttering] wait a minute, edith, i already got one of them. that's the one i got for you. so you could have one, just like all the other fellas on the loadin' platform. i know. but, edith, don't you see? [stuttering] i mean, i could've gone out, and got that whole kitten caboodle for $30, $40. but we didn't have $30 or $40. but you sunk $400 into all that stuff. but it's still there. it's our money. no! you buried it. it's in the grave! i could get the guys in the legion hall to come out and blow taps over it.

i mean, y-y-you painted us into a corner, then you threw away the key. edith, ain't you ashamed of yourself? well, i'm sorry. i didn't know it was gonna turn out like this. oh, well, don't cry. but, i mean, there was no money coming in. don't cry! [blubbering] edith, don't! now look, she's cryin' now. [stuttering] don't cry, edith. don't cry. edith, don't cry. [sobbing] edith, don't-- edith, you done good! your heart was in the right place, edith. but your head was out to lunch. all right, don't be worried.

jeez, why didn't you pucker up? i kissed nothin' but teeth. o sole mio. are youse ready for your italian delight? actually, daddy, you know, spaghetti is not italian. i read that marco polo found it in china, and then he brought it home to italy with him. leave it to a dago to go around the world for a take-home dinner. [doorbell ringing] i'll get it. "dago". do you have to use that word? what do you want me to call an italian? a mick? oh, hi, louise! come on in. hello, gloria! hi, everybody. hi. hi there, mrs. j. gee, we're just sittin' down to dinner here. oh, what perfect timing. no, edith only made enough for us. oh.

edith? could you do me a favor? sure, what is it? well, i don't know what happened to me tonight. but i made twice as much beef stew as we could use. it would be such a help if you could take it off my hands. oh, sure. thank you! uh, wait a minute. wait a minute, wait a minute. no, mrs. j, no. we don't need none of that, see, 'cause edith just made the family favorite here: spaghetti. i don't know about you, daddy, but i wouldn't mind havin' some beef stew. yeah, neither would i. do you wanna break your mother's heart? she's out there all day in the kitchen, creatin' that spaghetti. just remember this, if i get that phone call, we'd all be runnin' out of here eatin' fillet mignon. but, archie, there's meat in the stew. edith, edith, edith, huh? don't argue with me, huh? excuse me, louise. excuse me. edith, i want to see you, private there, in the kitchen. and don't youse touch that stew.

edith. i don't want you takin' that food from mrs. jefferson. why not? she said she made too much. i don't want you turnin' my house into a soup kitchen. it ain't soup, it's beef stew. i wouldn't give a damn if it was lobster greenberg. it's charity, and i ain't takin' no charity. now, edith, you just turn around, and you just go back and you tell louise that charity begins at home, which is where you want her to take that stew back to. it ain't charity, archie. louise is just bein' a good neighbor. oh. if they was hard up, you'd help 'em, wouldn't you? certainly, i would. [phone ringing] well... that's a whole different thing, edith. colored people's used to being helped. daddy, the call's for you. charlie driller. hey, that's the call from the union hall. maybe things is all fixed, yeah? let me get that call. get away from there. i'm just holdin' the door. get away from the phone. get away from the phone. louise, wait a minute!

hello, charlie. archie bunker here. yeah, what's the good word, i hope. ah, yeah... what is it? hold the phone, charlie. they broke off the negotiations. oh, my! uh, i'd better go, edith. hold the phone again there, charlie. [stuttering] say, louise, there.

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