and i realize that there is one group, i'm just not appealing to, in fact very few people have even tried to appeal to them, dogs. now, a lot of dogs watch tv, you know, and there is nothing really on that they can enjoy, you know. maybe a couple of dog food commercials, and that's it, you know. so i took it up on myself and i worked up a comedy act for dogs. [ laughter ] now, i know that sounds stupid, but i did the act for my dog and he went in hysterics. [ laughter ] and then i went to get some of the neighbors dogs and i did the cat for them, and they were on the floor. [ laughter ] rolling with doggy laughter. [ laughter ] now, the weird thing is - you have to take this into account - if you are a human being, you won't get the jokes. [ laughter ] it'll be like, what?

but if you have a dog, call them over, let them sit in front of the tv screen, because i think you're going to see him crack up for the first time. [ laughter ] no, i'm going to wait a few seconds for you to go get your dog and bring him back, because i don't think you should really crack up, so i'll just wait a second. [ whistling ] [ laughter ] okay, got him there? hi bushes, okay now fox, um, i invited down to the studios some dogs i can perform to sort of get the timing down, you know, and - [ laughter ] and so i don't have to add any can bars later on, so it's a live audience right here, here we go. my fabulous comedy act for dogs, here we go. well good evening puddles and colleagues, you know bouser and fito was walking down the street one day and bouser spotted this big dish plate full of dog food. well, he went over and took a

fito and said, this stuff isn't fit for a human. [ laughter ] oh, i got a million of them. [ laughter ] oh, no, no. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] oh, this is only the beginning fox, really. do you know why the airdale terrier crossed the road? to bite the mail man. [ laughter ] hey, do you know what a news paper is? - is black and white and wet all over. [ laughter ] okay, here's a special one just for the dogs... [ barking ] how do you that? okay, ladies and gentleman, i had a request from mexican hairless to uh--

[ applause ] okay, i had a request from mexican hairless to play a little tune on the dog whistle and, uh, i want to do this for him now. this is ultra high frequency, you won't be able to hear this, but uh, the dog really get into it. so here we go. little doggie jam, let's get it on now. [ laughter ] yeah! thank you very much. [ applause ] thank you. thank you. it's too much. thank you very much. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

[ music ] [ laughter ] >> now, believe it or not, this are not trained dogs. >> ah. hard to believe. where did you get - what - >> hello there pups, come on. [ laughter ] you're a good dog, i know you want more, but i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> you got a roll and the dogs gotta understand that. >> you know, you can only do so much, you get paid and that's it. >> well you got quite innovation. [ laughter ] >> i almost got a - >> yes, something else. who's dogs are those? dogs belong to elie movie dogs. >> yeah, you call them up and say, four dogs. >> yeah. >> that's a very funny concept. how did you think of that? >> well, it's kind of a serious thing with me, actually. [ laughter ] see, animals - laugh at you. of course, i'm not laughing at you personally, steve.

no, see, i started out - i knew animals need entertainment and i got into fish, they are really - they're boring, you know. because all they do is, they go through the ceramic tunnel and then it's like, what else is there to do, you know? but they don't have an attention spam. so i gave up on them and i would go to the zoo, you know, and try different animals out and see what they'd laugh at. and i settle on dogs. >> dogs are the easiest, easiest to get to. >> good audience. >> yeah. what - what else have you been doing lat - what would happen if they all would just walk out? >> boomsville. [ laughter ] total disaster. >> what else have you been doing? you're doing a concert in - >> yeah, we're doing a big concert in march 9th. it's a big banjo, you know, i know how to play five string banjo. >> yeah. >> and it's a big, uh, it's a hit record now called "dueling banjos" in the top five. and people are becoming award of banjo music and enjoying it, and - so i'm having this with "the nitty gritty dirt band." they play five string banjo, i

>> you are doing a lot of different things. >> i don't think the five string banjo are going to be there. >> you do a lot, right? you perform, you play music, you did some magic for us one night, you got anything left? >> yeah, i have - i wanted to show ya. >> people love magic. >> last time i was - this is something that everyone should be aware off - it's cheating at cards, you know. >> good. >> like a hundreds of thousands of people are cheated every year. not at card, but they're cheated. no, they are cheated at card and - can you get a camera on this? >> certainly we have one available here. isn't it? >> yeah, we'll bring a camera here. >> first of, i was going to show you the false shuffle. >> the false shuffle? >> yeah. if you're playing cards and somebody does this, you have to watch for - normal shuffle looks something like this, now this is an honest shuffle. >> right. >> now, the false shuffle it's about the same, only you keep the cards about a foot apart like this. [ laughter ] >> so watch out for

>> you see somebody do that - >> watch out for that. >> and the other thing - >> it's a good tip. >> the other thing that's really important is bottom dealing. if you see somebody doing it from the bottom, now i'm going to show you, this takes years of practice and i'm not really good at it, but i can do it. i'm going to deal around the table once, dealing from the top, and then the second time around i'm going to deal from the bottom. let's see if you can -- >> spot the difference. and it would be difficult to do though. >> here we go. this is from the top. >> right. >> here we go from the bottom. [ laughter ] >> if i see anybody doing that also, that could be a give away there. >> all right, that's cute, isn't? all right. anything else? >> got a trick or anything? >> sure. do you like mind reading? >> yeah - well, everybody. >> of course, they like mind reading. >> of course they do. >> okay. think of any card. just think of any card. >> thinking about it all right. >> don't tell anybody. what's your sign, first of all.

>> scorpio, see i'm a feces, so [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i hate to ask what your rising sign is. [ laughter ] >> okay, oh, we can't - don't look at this. can you see on the camera? >> i just thought of it. you know, i'm not taking it - >> we haven't planned this ahead of time, right? >> absolutely not. >> swear to the people. okay. you're concentrated on a card. >> right. >> we haven't planned this out. okay. i have removed one card from the deck. you can't see it. >> no. >> would you please name your card out loud. >> queen of spades. >> queen of spades? well, you're wrong. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> it's really close to the esp than it is for mind reading, isn't it? >> yes, esp. >> you had to make a distinction there. >> okay, here. time for one more? >> sure. >> okay.

i flip the cards. >> stop. >> okay, take a look at your - you know these card tricks. take a look of the card and i'll shuffle it. [ laughter ] >> oh well, i have it here. >> okay, you have it in mind - >> right. >> now, show it to the people at home, so they'll know. [ laughter ] >> okay, got it? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> now, say stop again some place. >> stop. >> now, put it back in the deck. >> put it back in the deck. >> okay. now - >> are you supposed to be turning your back like this? >> oh, no. now, this is very amazing, first of all shuffle the cards with my famous shuffle. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> oh, it's all right. on the count of three, i want

and your card will fly out from the deck, circle around the room, come back, land on stage and do the mambo right before your eyes. [ laughter ] so would you please, name your card out loud. >> the 14 of spades. [ laughter ] >> that is the dirtiest trick i've ever - [ laughter ] >> that's what it was, it was - >> 14 of spades? how about two sevens. [ laughter ] was it 14 of spades? >> yes. >> what? well that's cute - i don't like you. [ laughter ] >> that's crazy. that's funny. we'll continue in a moment,

[ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] >> my next guess is making her first appearance on the tonight show, she is appeared in many motion pictures. and a reporter once described her as the lady who makes your jaw drop, and pamela makes it sound like blushing flower. would you welcome please,

[ applause ] [ music ] >> nice to see you. >> thank you. >> i always wanted to meet you. >> i have never met you. >> that's true. everybody always assumes because you work in hollywood, and you're an entertainer, you know everybody else. >> not true. >> is there anybody here in hollywood that you haven't met, that you wanted to meet? >> i don't think so, no. they wanted to meet me, they met me. [ laughter ] >> we were talking about when sandy went to new york as a young lady, you've been to hollywood a number of years - >> i never met sandy. >> you've never met sandy? >> and i think she is marvelous. >> yes, she is. lovely young lady. >> very courageous. >> thank you. >> very courageous, because i know what she went through. >> yes, and mr. martin here was slightly whopped. [ laughter ] >> is he whopped? >> he's a little strange. >> i like those people,

>> so how did you get the name of binnie? that's a very unusual name. >> binnie? >> yeah. >> well, i wasn't doing any good at the time. [ laughter ] >> may i say, and i went to an astrologer and i was doing a cowboy act-- [ laughter ] yes i was. with ropes and things, which i stole from somebody who was doing will roger's act, and i thought this was great. they called me texas bill buns, which wasn't very pleasant because i thought i was rather sexy. [ laughter ] and i guess i wasn't and i had little buck teeth at the time, which i have straighten sense. and i stole this and the astrologist said, you should change the name, gittel is my real name. >> right. >> so should be six and six, so i was walking along london, and i saw a girl - a woman,

who was terribly well, and they loved her. so i said, that sounds pretty good, so i stole the name. b-i-n-n-i-e barnes, six and six, and i was doing this act and all of the sudden the next day i got a contract. and i thought this is great, i've never been to an astrologer since or after, this was it. that's how i got the name. >> astrology is got a rekindle in the last few years, all over the country. a lot of people say that - >> rekindle, and i've never been back to it but i guess it was all right for me. >> yeah. >> yes. >> what sign are you? >> aries, i'm an aries. which is the bull - oh, i'm very - [ laughter ] yes i am, yes. indded. >> somebody told me you are one of sixteen children. >> yes, i am. i'm the last of sixteen children, i'm the head of the family. would you say the mafia? yes, i take care of everybody that dies in my family. that means that i supply them with suits if they are dead.

>> yes i do, indeed. my husband would verify this, you see, half of us are jewish and half of us are catholic. you see, the catholic sit on one side, and the jews the other. we weren't allowed to talk about religion at anytime of our lives, but when anybody die, they call me and say, joey is dead and i said, oh fine. [ laughter ] i immediately went to the closet and found one of mike's suits. mike is my husband. >> mike frankovich, he's a producer. >> he is my husband. well, initially at the time, i don't know -i'd have to die probably. [ laughter ] mike had ordered a lot of suits from a very fine man, called carincio or whatever his name is, and they were brand new. it was the time they had those silky suits. >> yeah. >> remember, they would love it. >> very bride, kind of shine. >> and i'm rather short sided, as you see i got glasses.

i looked in the closet and i saw a beautiful blue suit that looked rather warm and thought, but mike have never had it on and i didn't know this. and- so i said, that would do nice for arthur. [ laughter ] and mike had been at a trip, and mike came in, and as he came in to the airport, i said, we gotta go and see arthur, he is dead. [ laughter ] and he said, oh. and in my family in england, they lay them up and you pay homage to them for a week, and you say dear arthur, and everybody talks to dear arthur. was quiet a nice family thing, so i said to mike, we gotta see him, so as we went by the body, he is sitting up, you know - >> sitting up? >> oh yeah, they sit him up. father irish. >> i didn't know that. >> oh yeah, very irish. candles and stuff. technically irish or jewish, i didn't care. didn't matter, didn't make any difference. and mike is at the end of a long line, he is never seen arthur, he doesn't know half

and ... as we're getting near, he says, he's got my suit on. [ laughter ] and he said, uh, take it off of him. [ laughter ] i said, dear, arthur is stiff, you can't take it off. [ laughter ] he said, it's a brand new suit, i never had it on. and i didn't know, i thought i was shinny and i thought it was an old suit, but it wasn't at all. but that was arthur's, and i guess he's still in it. [ laughter ] >> well, certainly hope so. [ laughter ] that takes care of arthur. uh, you worked with - we have to commercials here. i'm getting a little signal here, not too little of a signal either. but we'll take a word from one

ri [ music ] [ applause ] >> we are talking with bennie barnes. you just mentioned a lovely young lady that has had a lot of

mother in 40 carats. >> yes. i played her mother, yes. how do you like that? i'm a grandmother. >> does that bother you? mother's is a lot of - >> ask the audience, you know, i don't know. it doesn't bother me because i'm an old broad, and i've been around for a long time, you know. i think a lot of women like it that i'm this age. now liv is playing a 40 year old woman in 40 carats, and she is not 40 by any means. she is up for an academy award. gene kelly is in the picture, edward albert -- young edward albert who's divine in the picture. milton katselas directed the picture, he directed "butterflies are free" also, and leonard gershe wrote the picture. now, people say to me, do you mind playing a grandmother? i say, no, does anybody wanna

>> yes. >> do you really? i don't mind telling. [ applause ] i will tell you, i'm 59. >> really? >> you know, what we know. well it's true. >> 59 isn't old. >> i don't think so, because i do a discotec dance with gene kelly that's absolutely fabulous. without him, of course i couldn't do it. he leads me all the way, which is great. he is 20 years late, i wish i got him 20 years ago. you know, this would have been absolutely marvelous, but he is absolutely divine, he did divine in the picture, and i think we >> that's good. i hope it's a big success. >> i think it will be. >> you've been described - you're from what i hear, quiet out spoken. have you ever - when people ask you for an opinion you tell them the truth in this town, because -- >> yes. >> it could be dangerous to a lot of careers. people say, what do you think - >> oh, dangerous at my age, nothing is dangerous. [ laughter ] nothing. >> yeah. have you ever said thing to people that you wish

>> no, never. if it's always the truth if i said it, they may have not liked it, but a lot of people don't like what i say and i don't really give a damn. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i must say, i'm old enough now not to care. >> i think - >> let's face that too. >> you know, parents still showing you to be popular, to be well liked. >> who gives damn whether you're popular or not, i like the young >> hey, you are a good guess, i hope you come back and do this again. you got incredible amount of stories and things you can talk about. >> talk and talk. > good night.

i'm humbled by that applause. hey. pay attention. here "i'm here to support bernie." "she's been my role model for all this time." the political world is focused on the silver state, as democrats braved long lines to caucus for either bernie sanders or hillary clinton. we have results and reaction

campaign 20-16 coverage tops channel 2 news at 6:30. good evening, i'm jennifer burton. thanks for joining us this evening. the "first-in-the-west" caucus was held across nevada today. here are the latest results: hillary clinton has been declared the winner, with 53-percent of the vote. bernie sanders received 47- percent of the vote. this means that hillary gained 19 delegates. bernie earned 15. this is without any superdelegate results. there are eight superdelegates in the silver state. hillary clinton addressed crowds in las vegas after her win. she said that her campaign never doubted the possibility of winning nevada. "it can't be just about what we're going to give to you, it has to be about what we're going to build together." meanwhile, bernie sanders addressed supporters in henderson. he conceded to hillary clinton, and complimented her and her campaign for their performance in nevada. "a little while ago, i called up

congratulated her and her staff with their victory here in nevada. they ran a very aggressive, effective campaign and i applaud them for their efforts." south carolina is next on the democrats' primary schedule, on february 27-th. super tuesday comes on march 1-st. we have team coverage of today's caucuses. ryan canaday was in carson city and he will join us in the just a minute. but we'll start with erin breen, who was all over the biggest little city today. erin, it was pretty hectic out there today, wasn't it? that's a good word for it.... but really the problems were all with the checking in.... some who registered online had to wait in the general lines if they didn't have cell phones. and they could have used more volunteers helping, because the backlog meant for lines. and when i say lines...i mean serious lines... lines that

around corners and led right out the door. lines that wore on those waiting in them. norma:"i thought it was a little disorganized and there was to use of automatic counting and technology that i think should have beeen employed." david mandel:"the registration was slow they were all volunteers and they clearly could have had more training and practice i think." -----you go this way ..you go that way...- the caucus we were following was too big for the first room ...so we moved. do we bring our chairs? the second room didn't work out either.....so we moved to the cafeteria. once we got settd there.. it went smoothly. there were a few undecideds to sway... urging ----okay times up. ----- ellen:" we had 140 people and both undecideds came over to the bernie side." doug:" it was a little scarey but they all had good points nad

gets the nomination." this political irony caught a few eyes. nathanial jones:"i got a few dirty looks when i came in but this is a knock off hat. i'm feelin the bern " it took longer to get in.... than to get through the process. and that concerned some. betty: in 5 minutes i will have be here for 3 hours this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever attended!" but there were those who felt it went well and accomplished just what it was set out to do. ellen:" i thought it was fantastic. such a great turn out. ellen: this has been phenomenal!" there were 14 precints at mcqueen high school today. and it was amazing how fast things went after the bottleneck of registration was over. covering campaign 2016 erin breen channel 2 news. thanks erin-- but that wasn't all the caucus action from today. ryan canaday was down at carson city high

he joins us now live in the studio. ryan what was the caucus like in carson? jen organized chaos was the best description we heard while we were down there. organizers believe more than thirteen hundred people filed through the doors at carson high to caucus today, which was way more than originally expected. "g through l" the lines just kept on coming at the democratic caucus in carson city today. "follow the signs down this hallway sir" as more than a thousand people came to support their favorite democratic candidate. support bernie and hopefully we end up with more bernie people than hillary people i really want hillary because i know she'll approve on the affordable care act. many of whom were caucusing for their very first time this is my first caucus, i've always done primaries new kind of interesting and different." others weren't so thrilled with the way the caucus was organized. my neighbors, some who i know, some who i don't all agree that we would rather be in a booth,

everyone began the caucus process by registering at the door...they then split into one of thirteen separate precincts.. then once the final person walked through the door..the commotion died down...and everyone got down to business. "calm and somewhat organized, not back and forth too much at all." precinct leaders began by counting the amount of members in their group. "one, two, three, four" they would then split the room by support for bernie or hillary. "52 here, 38 here" after that, it was time for the math..allowing each precinct to determine the amount of delegates they could elect. "so the 2.3 for hillary, is rounded down to 2, 1.7 for bernie is rounded up, so it's two to two. and the delegate count ended up very close for all thirteen precincts. hillary got 4 and bernie got three pretty close to even, in our group hillary had a few more than the bernie supporters but it was very close to 50-50. but in the end, not even the

cacucus day could keep could keep nevadan's from doing their part. they felt valued and part of the it again." it sure was a crazy and fun time down there in carson city today. be sure to stay with channel two news as we continue to follow caucus coverage and what the presidential race covering campaign 20-16 live in two news and some late-breaking campaign news into our newsroom. jeb bush has suspended his presidential campaign after another poor showing, this time in south carolina. bush received 8-point-1 percent of the vote, with 74-precent of precincts reporting. meanwhile, the frontrunner in the south carolina republican primary has won. cbs news projects donald trump is tonight's winner. craig boswell is at ted cruz's rally in columbia with the latest. cbs news projects donald trump has won the south carolina republican primary. ted cruz and marco rubio trailed close

cruz's call center worked to get out the vote. "it's crunch time, so you bring all your family and friends to vote too, ok?" today, cruz attended the funeral for supreme court justice antonin scalia. this week- south carolina governor nikki haley endorsed rubio which helped some voters make up their minds. "i really think it's up to rubio." jeb bush is in the bottom three. he greeted voters at a polling location in greenville, south carolina... with a message about donald trump. "trump can't win, plain and simple." john kasich is out of town.campaigning to standing-room-only crowds in massachusetts ahead of super tuesday. craig boswell, cbs news, columbia, south carolina. and as we approach super tuesday, be sure to stay with channel two news on air, online, and on facebook and twitter for continuing coverage of campaign 20-16.

cloudiness this afternoon come up from the south, but other than that the weather is rather quiet. highs today were in the mid 50's. lows were near thirty degrees. sunday will be very similar. a weak system will move north of reno on sunday giving us some cloud cover, but we have lots of dry air at the surface. winds right now are fairly light, coming out of the southwest at five to ten. we have an update to a missing woman investigation in douglas county. the california highway patrol found carolyn batchelor's car in

overlooking emerald bay. officials are searching the area where the vehicle was located-- for batchelor, who-- officials say-- was last seen by her roommate at approximately 5:10 p.m. on february 15-th. batchelor is 5 foot, 7 inches tall, weighs approximately 180 pounds, and has shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes. if you know where she is, call the douglas or el dorado county sheriff's office at the numbers on your screen. "supreme court justice antonin scalia was laid to rest, remembered for his devotion to the country, and god. i'm weijia jiang in washington with that

supreme court justice antonin scalia was laid to rest today. he was remembered as a man of faith, with deep love for his country and family. weijia jiang has more from washington, d.c. church bells tolled for justice antonin scalia...as pallbearers carried his flag-draped casket into the basilica of the national shrine of the immaculate conception. "let us pray." father paul scalia - the justice's son - presided over the mass and delivered the homily. "god blessed dad with a love for his family." father scalia was on the verge of tears as he talked about his dad's love for his wife of 56 years and the couple's nine children. that's the greatest wealth parents can bestow. and right now, we are particularly grateful for it." "scalia's funeral service was the first for a supreme court justice held

roman catholic church. religion was an important part of his life." "it was a reminder that there were more important things in his life than the job he did every day. he loved his church and loved his country both." and, he loved his friends...says dick coleman, who went to college and law school with scalia. "it gets me when i hear in the media he's a curmudgeon. he was the warmest, funniest guy i know." mourners from both sides of the aisle including vice presidents joe biden and dick cheney.and senator ted cruz came together...to say goodbye. weijia jiang, cbs news, washington. meteorologist angela schilling will have a look at your

we're seeing some high level cloudiness this afternoon come

from the south, but other than that the weather is rather quiet. highs today were in the mid 50's. lows were near thirty degrees. sunday will be very similar. a weak system will move north of reno on sunday giving us some cloud cover, but we have

winds right now are fairly light, coming out of the southwest at five to ten. futurecast shows quiet conditions the next few days. the ridge strengthens on monday. we'll see a few clouds here and there, but it will feel some time. it was a busy day for high school basketball-- as the regional championship games were

will have highlights and results to help preserve our environment. i got involved. i boosted tourism in my farm community by by painting 55 barn quilts. i got involved. i enjoy gardening and love delivering a fresh supply of

i got involved. young volunteers have a winning spirit that we think is worth celebrating. middle and high school students: ask your school principal about applying for a prudential spirit of community award. volunteer! champions were crowned today in northern nevada high school

played out... however the division 1 north finals still in progress up at spanish springs high school... the girls just wrapped up a little bit a go... where bishop manogue repeats as division 1 north champs topping the reno huskies 72-59. as for the boys they are in progress... as it is carson versus reno... at last report they are about midway through the second quarter and carson leads 17-14... full highlights and results tonight at 11. the lower division games are done... lets start with the d 1-a boys... elko and south tahoe... 1st quarter... ethan strain blocks the shot... and sprints up court... as his teammate tommy cefalu will find him for the wide open transition layup.. vikings with an early lead... but here comes the indians... dustin baum's shot gets blocked under the basket... but he gathers it backs up and decides a three is a better idea... and it was... swishes it home... this one also came down to the wire as elko has now won 5 straight northern titles... 45-43. how about the d 1-a girls... churchill county undefeated on the year... but lowry has something to say about it... down 9 in the 4th... comeback

creates space and banks one in from under basket... that cuts the lead to 7... but with 10 seconds left the buckaroos down 2... and its alyssa kuskie... steps back beyond the arc and this girl has ice water in her veins... she nails the three... its the game winner... and lowry shocks the greenwave winning the di-a north 40-39. lets go to the division 4 ranks... mineral county from hawthorne and whittell from up at the lake... and whittells palmer champlin has a real nice shot... from beyond the arc... ker-splash... that gives the warriots a 1 point lead... and then this is not an instant replay... because from almost the exact same spot on the floor... chaplin spots up again... and another three that is nothing but net... whittell pulls away and win the division 4 north 60-44 as for the the girls... in the division 4 ranks... it is mcdermitt beating owyhee 76-38. and finally the division 3 championships were played out in west wendover.. for the boys.... pershing county and yerington went to

lions winning 75-64... and for the girls incline tops west wendover by 2... 41-39. two words that gets sports fans in the silver state fired up.... nevada... unlv... as the two schools meet again on the hardwood today... you might recall the nevada mens basketball eed a 2-game skid with the rebs back on january 23rd with a 65-63 win at lawlor events center. the the win was the pack's 4th in the last 6 meetings of the governors series....but this time the pack has to play in the rebs house. the pack is 4-3 on the road this year...tip set for 7 at the

mack center it will be televised on cbs sports network. the nevada womens basketball team hosted unlv in the play for kay yow game today... as they helped raise funds for the kay yow foundation... early on reed grad nyasha lesure goes to work and lays one in... pack up by 5... later its stephanie schmid... nevada's sharp shooter...dialing one up from distance and its good... and the nevada wolf pack women's basketball team is able to knock off the rebels... 71-65. and the nevada softball team is now 6-2 on the season after topping portland state 4-2 in the wilson demarini classsic this morning... megan sweet... amanda weis and hannah harger all hit home runs... while brook bolinger pitched a complete game and struck out 7.

and struck out 7. then angela will have a final look at our weather. you're

covera

at your forecast....seven [ ding! ] [ ding! ]

[ ding! ] mother, it's the middle of the night. that's the proper time for us, you know. [ ding! ] well, what is it? i thought you should know that tomorrow has been chosen as the day of the witches' coven. coven? why? who? your aunts, the entire group. oh? they're flying in from all over the world. clara has been collecting old doorknobs in bolivia, and enchantra has been coaching a yogi in outer mongolia, and hagatha's coming from her school. what's the occasion? we've all been designated a coven to examine and report on tabitha. report? what kind of report? ordinarily, i don't get myself involved in committee work. i've done more than my share, as you well know. but tabitha is my grandchild,

good. i'd like to know myself. uh-oh. darrin will object. oh, boy, will he object. that's why i came to tell you tonight. get rid of him! what? not permanently -- just for tomorrow... although permanently is a more attractive idea. well, fortunately, that won't be necessary. even though tomorrow's saturday, darrin has to work. so, we're in the clear. splendid! [ ding! ]

bye-bye, honey. think you're gonna have to work late? isn't having to work saturday bad enough? somebody ought to tell larry tate about the 40-hour week, the 8-hour day. talk about your slave drivers. oh, now, darling, larry's not that bad. he's not, huh? [ ding! ] greetings. would you mind knocking before you pop in? well, i thought you were on your way to work. i am, and, somehow, you showing up makes it all seem worthwhile.

oh, please do, especially before you come home. why? well, so i can have a martini in the window. what else? that's a good idea. don't feel you have to wait for me, endora. never fear. oh, that mortal! oh, i do hope tabitha's powers are not limited to her unfortunate lineage. that unfortunate lineage happens to be tabitha's father and my husband, and i'll thank you to remember that. i know, i know, but i love her anyhow. [ rustling, thudding ] clara: ooh! oooh! oooh! oooh! ooh, dear. ooh! ooh, dear. aunt clara, are you all right? oh, yes, oh, yes. i'm all right. [ stammering ] oh, dear. oh, yes. [ chuckles ]

and lose my professional standing? oh, there's the little darling. what a dear little girl. oh, it's so long since we've tested a child. aren't you excited, dear? oh, yes, i certainly am, aunt clara. i hope the others aren't too late. i'd like to get on with it. mother, do you think daddy will be here? i have no idea where maurice is, and i have no intention of hunting him down. [ thunder rumbles ] it's your father. [ ding! ] because tabitha is also my grandchild. oh, daddy! how's daddy's little girl, eh? may i remind you that she is also mama's little girl? i'd always hoped somehow that age would mellow you, endora. instead, you're just puckering up.

clara, it's been a long time. maurice, you're looking very well. oh, there she is! there's maurice's little precious. yes, and she's certainly got it. there's no question of that. i'm glad you're pleased, daddy. you know, there's a lot of me in this little darling -- a certain nobility, a certain fire, a -- how about "sickening charm"? someday, endora. someday. [ chuckles ] daddy, are you able to stay for a while? aunt hagatha and aunt enchantra are coming here. a coven, eh? well, the child must certainly be certified. there's no doubt about that, samantha. tests must be made. you'll stay for them? i'm sorry. i was on my way to the opera in vienna when i heard about tabitha. they're doing "faust" tonight. i always get a million laughs out of that.

clara, you're looking more ravishing than ever. oh, thank you very much, maurice. i must leave before this gaggle of geese gets here. let me know what their findings are. how will i be able to get in touch with you? right. [ whistles ] [ ding! ] this... this will always get through to me. oh, thank you, father. well, curtain time! keep smiling, endora. [ thunder rumbles ] [ ding! ] i'll never know what i saw in that man. i know. [ horn honking ] oh!

how lovely to see you both. thank you, dear. nice to be here. you're both late. let's get on with it. thank you, macbeth. we won't be needing you for a while. where is the little darling? oh, she's in the kitchen eating some cookies. oh, she shouldn't have anything to eat before the tests. oh, i'm sorry. i forgot, aunt hagatha. well, i'll just have to make allowances for it. [ ding! ] be careful. she's just a baby. well, we haven't lost a patient yet, dear, 308 years certifying witches. i hope the husband isn't home. the poor dear's working. oh, well, good. humans emit a low-grade frequency which upsets my instruments. [ ding! ]

yes. oh, it's a pity that darrin had to work today. [ ding! ] some of your ideas are mighty provocative, darrin. mighty provoc-- where did you get that? uh, this? samantha gave it to me. it's a -- well, in case we go out to lunch, and you have some, uh, spaghetti or lobster or -- what else is kind of drippy? you want a straight answer? this saturday work must be getting to him. must be getting to me, too. aunt clara. eight to five, it's aunt clara.

[ instrument beeping ] lovely! lovely! lovely! well, i knew it all the time. i knew it! i knew it! [ beeping continues ] [ indistinct talking ] well, it's all over. wait until you hear the results. well, that's it. tabitha has been tested by the approved methods and standards. and i come to the conclusion that despite the fact she's a product of a mixed marriage, her powers are amazing, and she shows a great potential.

do hereby declare and certify the child, tabitha, to be a true and verified witch.

lovely tea, samantha. thank you, aunt clara. well, let's finish up here, girls. we have some decisions to make about tabitha. decisions? what decisions? we have to decide what tabitha's whole future is going to be. well, i think that's a matter for darrin and me to decide, don't you? it's our responsibility. well, i don't see it that way. you will. sam, what is going on here? who -- darrin, dear. who are these -- these -- these -- darrin? dear?

this is darrin, my husband, tabitha's father. well, well. yes, indeed. well, i suppose it's a matter of taste. yes. de gustibus and all that. pity. it's getting late, and we still have some decisions to make. let's get on with it! in view of the fact that tabitha is the first witch of her generation and because of her importance in the hierarchy, i feel she should be immediately sent to your school. now, aunt enchantra, really! mother, this has gone far enough. testing tabitha was one thing, but making decisions about her future -- well, that's something else. right! this is our business, tabitha is our daughter, and miss tabitha stephens is going to our public schools! that's it! i have spoken!

well, i agree with darrin. tabitha stays here. that's our decision, and it's final. girls? [ ding! ] uh, i don't hear you. wh-what did you say? oh, listen, dears, speak louder. i can't hear a word you say. no, i can't -- i can't hear you. oh, well, it doesn't matter. whatever they say, i'm on your side. endora: samantha, it really hurts me that you've drifted so far from our tradition and your great heritage. now, we've heard your decision. now hear ours. you're both obviously incompetent to raise a child as important as tabitha. therefore, we're sending her

that child leaves this house only over my dead body! unfortunately, that w't be necessary. girls? [ ding! ] sam, i can't move my feet. i can't either. mother, you stop this. well, of all the chintzy tricks! tabitha! that's kidnapping! how dare you?! mother, you're going to be so sorry for this! that's enough out of all of you. girls. [ ding! ] [ birds chirping ] you may be angry now, samantha, but we're doing this for tabitha's own good. you'll thank us for it later on. hagatha: and i'm sure your father would approve.

[ ding! ] trouble, samantha? [ birds chirping ] all right. i get the picture. a little bit of witch-napping, eh? oh, go back to your opera, maurice, and stop interfering. that baby belongs in her room. [ ding! ] now, then, take the spell off them. unthinkable! we'll do no such thing! out of the question! it's for our grandchild's own good! why, you muddling, bumbling bunch of creaking old crones! i ought to -- oh, maurice, stop the theatrics. honestly, i think you should have been an actor instead of a warlock. perhaps, madam, and i should have been the greatest of them. i should have played hamlet.

"thaw, and resolve itself into a dew. "or that the everlas--" [ birds chirping ] all right, all right. i heard you the first time. maurice, will you please leave? you'll miss your favorite aria. oh, no, i won't. they can't put the curtain up on the third act until i get back and take the spell off them. now, you have no right to interfere with the decisions of this committee. one word more out of you, madam, and -- and what? this! [ thunder rumbles ] [ ding! ] [ ding! ] where are we? where are we? oh! oh, it's so cold! it's mount everest! oh, that ham! i didn't think he'd dare!

oh, not i. i'm not dressed for it! oh, all right! [ echoing ] maurice! i think they'll be more flexible now, once they've thawed out. [ thunder rumbles ] [ ding! ] [ ding! ] oh! oh! oh! ladies, i'm waiting. [ sighing ] all right. [ ding! ] thank you, daddy. oh, yes! there will be no more interfering with my grandchild. macbeth! [ ding! ] ladies?

[ ding! ] well done, daddy. for you and my darling granddaughter, anything. i'd like to thank you, too, sir. for you, nothing. you happen to be just standing in the fallout of my love for my daughter. gee, thanks, dad. watch it, boy. well, time for the third act of "faust." can't keep the curtain waiting any longer, or mephistopheles will have hysterics. oh. [ laughs ] yeah. oh, maurice, would you mind dropping me -- clara! i can think of no nicer company.

come along. glory and love to the men of old [ thunder rumbles ] [ ding! ] he's quite a guy, your father. he's really very nice when you get to know him. it's okay, honey. i understand your father. under that suave, polished exterior, he hates me. well, that's all right, sweetheart. because under this smooth, girlish exterior, i love you.

darrin? even though they found that tabitha has great potential, her powers are still very limited. she is just a baby, after all. [ chuckles ] i knew you'd understand. her powers may be limited, but her appetite isn't. i-i'll handle it. [ sighs ] [ ding! ] [ gasps ] daddy! shh! just got her to sleep.

well, i'm a grandfather. i just thought i'd do a little bit of babysitting. why don't you and dolphin go out for the evening? well, thank you, daddy. that would be wonderful. the evening's on me. where would you like to go? bullfights in madrid, skiing in switzerland, a cup of tea at the foot of fujiyama? what would you like to see? daddy, nothing in the world could top what i'm looking at right now. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac. oh.

good morning, master. i am ready. oh, yes? ready for what? to go for a ride with you in the magic cart that goes like the wind. well, it's not a cart. it's a car. a car. and i'm afraid i can't take you out today, jeannie. i'm right in the middle of an experiment. oh, you always say that. well, i always am. i know. you want me to ask you what this experiment is about. do you really want to know? mm. if it pleases thee to tell me. i'm working on a small, portable desalinization unit. and if it works, it's going to solve one of the most pressing problems in-- in-- well, in modern history. the shortage of fresh water. very interesting. when we go riding, may i sit behind the wheel that moves the magic cart? with this unit, if you're stranded in the middle of the ocean, on an island, say-- well, like we were. you can make all the fresh water you need right out of the ocean. let us get stranded again so we can try it out. there has to be a way to lick this.

you will sit next to me in the magic cart, and we will ride very fast. wait a minute. what did you say? i said, you will sit next to me in the magic cart, and we will ride very-- no, no, no. i mean about the seawater. oh, that. great-grandfather bilejik used to do it all the time. what magic makes your car move, master? forget about the car. are you you trying to tell me that your great-grandfather could take salt out of seawater? yes. at least he used to know how to do it 2000 years ago. his land was like a garden of eden, while that of his neighbors all around was like baked clay. great-grandfather would not tell them his secret. jeannie. mm? jeannie, would he tell you his secret? i suppose so. is there some demon inside your car that makes it move? oh, forget about the car, really. i want you to do me a favor. i will do anything for you, master. good. i want you to go back and talk to your great-grandfather. have a long talk with him.

i will do anything for you, master. except that. why? because i will not leave thee. ah. but i will do the next best thing.

do you have any idea what it would mean to the rest of the world if we could supply them with usable ocean water? money in it? well, it'd be very valuable. oh, then bilejik is definitely interested. [chuckles] do you know, i was known as the greatest miser in the world. jeannie: i was hoping you had changed. please be careful, master. he spent most of his time in jail. tony: don't worry about me. i can handle myself. uh, do you have a written formula for this process of yours, sir? oh, of course. i have it all written. right here in a nutshell. would you tell it to me? well, we have to have an agreement.

believe me, you will not like it, master. i should have warned you. he is the black sheep of the family. you know, i think we could negotiate much better if you get her out of here. out. well, i will not leave. uh, jeannie? look, um, why don't you just run along and let the men talk, huh? jeannie: i know him. he's very cunning. tony: can he do what he says? well, yes. but-- well, all right, fine. we'll get some kind of a deal. well, do we negotiate, or do i have to leave? no, no. we'll negotiate, sir. don't leave. all right. but i warned you, master. jeannie, why don't you just run along and amuse yourself, huh? you mean that? sure. oh! thank you, master. [laughs] i got rid of her, so we can talk now. oh, you know... you know, she is my most favorite great-granddaughter, but is honest.

about this process of yours, sir. is it expensive? oh, that is the beauty of it. pennies. how much do you want for it? no, no, no! that is no way to negotiate. oh, dear, you... you spoiled everything. let me help you. when you negotiate, you pretend that you are not interested. then, perhaps, i will lower my price. oh, well. and would you, sir? thou must be kidding. [car engine revving] jeannie! jeannie, no, no, stop. now, stop! no, no, don't do that. [tires squeal] excuse me, sir. just make yourself at home. i'll be right back.

jeannie! [tires squeal] no, no, please, wait. now, come on, jeannie. i'm not fooling around. no, no, please, wait.

no, no. please, wait. wait! wait. now, stop. jeannie, stay right there. hello, dr. bellows. captain nelson, you and i have a lot to talk about. sir? that car has no driver. no. no, it doesn't. well, thank heavens no one was hurt. just by talking to it, you brought that vehicle to a stop. well, that vehicle should never have started, sir. i can't wait to hear your explanation. well, actually, i-i can explain it, sir. you're doing some experimental work? you've rigged it up as a robot car, operated by remote control? you might say that. then again, i might not. i've seen experiments like this, but i've never seen anyone control a car by talking to it. well, it's new, sir. it's top-secret. that's why it seems so unusual. everything about you is unusual, captain. i haven't had a decent night's sleep since you've been assigned to me.

as a psychiatrist, i know that everything has an explanation. and that includes you and this car. one day i'm going to get to the bottom of it. and do you know something, captain? that's going to be the happiest day of my life. yes, sir. but would you mind, in the future, please, drive the old-fashioned way? thank you. all right, young lady. [laughs nervously] dr. bellows is a very suspicious man, is he not? he has pretty good reason for being suspicious. who told you you could take the car and drive off without me? well, you did, master. i what? well, you told me to go amuse myself, and this is what amuses me. ooh, it is faster than a flying carpet. and a lot more dangerous. never do that again. do you understand?

i hope bilejik is still there. oh, i will go see. put those back. ah, don't-- don't you ever knock? i will not have you injure this one. he belongs to me. the last time you summoned me to help someone was 1500 years ago, and i sold him two pyramids and the scrolls of the red sea. well, this one is different. he is most wise. well, in that case, i will just sell him one pyramid. you will sell him nothing. but he wants to buy my-- my water formula. he-- he is a most eager buyer. can you really take salt out of water? oh, it is child's play. then do it for him. [door opens]

my own great-granddaughter. bilejik? bilejik? excuse me. i thought i lost you. oh, you did, did you? well, you are not going to get rid of me that easily. [doorbell rings] uh, would you mind sitting down in there, sir? oh, yes. thank you. moing, tony. wanna hear some great sounds? i've got this afro-latin record that'll really turn you on. i'm kind of busy right now. yeah, nice talking to you. i got a visitor. you got a v--? ah, you sly dog. maybe she'll dig the music, huh? where is she? no, no, it's not a girl. it's a very old man. sure he is. well, i'll, uh... i'll keep the mood music. captain roger healey, this is mr. bilejik. oh. everybody here dresses so oddly. oh. where are you from, mr. bilejik? i am from the old country. really? where--? whereabouts?

now, what can i sell you? well, what--? what have you got? everything. he's kind of an old, old junk man, huh? what are you buying? well, actually, i am selling my friend here a-- oh, i don't think i'll discuss it until i find out if it works. roger: don't buy any old capsules from him. oh, what are they? i can get you all that you need. he's a little way out, isn't he? bye-bye. oh, thank you. my record. i'll take it. goodbye, roge. thanks for dropping in. [door closes] all right, sir, let's get down to business. oh, i'm all ready. you bet i'm ready. uh, i was wondering what you would like in exchange for your process? oh, the process. well, uh, since you are a great friend of my great-granddaughter, i will charge you nothing. that is, uh... well, that's very kind of you, sir. ...except a little token. what kind of token? well, it would amuse me if i could, uh... if i could have a little statue i have heard people talking about. what kind of statue?

it is a statue of a little lady holding a torch. the statue of liberty?

i can't give you the statue of liberty. it doesn't even belong to me. no one has ever called bilejik unreasonable. what about that thing called the mint? the mint? i can't give you the mint. elizabeth taylor? forget it. i guess i... i'd better be getting back home. you are not going anywhere. not until my master has the formula he wants. but he has nothing to trade me for it. and you ought to hear what he's asking. let me deal with him, master. but jeannie-- i will get you what you wish. all right. i'll be out on the patio if you need me. mm. don't give away the country, huh? no. oh, my dear great-granddaughter, you are wasting your time,

ha! your formula means nothing to me. oh-ho, it doesn't, hey? [laughs] of course not. i just wanted to get him out of the room so i could wish you a safe journey home. oh, thank you. give my love to the family. i will. great-grandmother is well? yes, she is her same old sour-tempered self. and tanya? tanya? mm. the little belly dancer. oh, that--? that tanya? i think i shall arrange for great-grandmother to meet her. no, no, no. please, please, do not disturb your poor, old grandmother with all of these little problems. well, all right. when do you want the formula? now. master? yeah? my great-grandfather has decided to tell you what you wish to know. yes, and you must understand that this is just

because we are a very generous people. however, if you wish to show your gratitude-- great-grandfather. all right, all right. i will need a few things. yes, what? salt water. salt water. yes. porous cloth. porous cloth. seeds of the geloom. seeds of...the geloom? mm-hm. oh, i know where to find them, master. they grow in a field near the nile. oh, i will fetch them right away. you will stay right here and i will fetch them. no woman ever gives me orders. heh-heh. is there anything you would like me to tell great-grandmother while i'm there? tell her i'm fine. i'll be home as soon as i get finished with this-- this business. keep your eye on him, master. i certainly appreciate this, mr. bilejik. i can't tell you what it would mean to me and-- oh, it's nothing, nothing. if you-- if you wish to-- to do me a little favor, well, uh... you see, i have a little money scheme,

i have not gone yet. if there is anything i detest, it's a sneaky genie. hello, dr. bellows. i've been thinking about our meeting this morning, and i wanted to ask you... what have you got there? well, this is drinking water, sir. don't you have running water in your home, captain? well, of course. this isn't ordinary water. it's seawater. huh. i should have known. and if i should ask you why you're drinking seawater, what would your answer be? i'm conducting a little experiment, sir. oh, another one, captain? have you finished the one with the car? yes, sir, i finished that. i won't have to test that again. so now you're drinking seawater? are you sure that cask doesn't contain something else, captain? i-i don't understand what you mean, sir. some whiskey, perhaps? gin? vodka? i hope you don't think that i'd be-- oh, don't i? i'm not as innocent as i look, captain. well, sir, really, it's just plain old ordinary seawater, that's all. just-- now, don't-- don't drink it.

[mouths] seawater. seawater. i-i'm sorry, sir, i-- i mean, i-- i told you. [humming] [door opens] [door closes] here's your seawater, sir. oh, good. good, good, good. thank you. oh, tell me, sir, are you a very rich man? who, me? why, no, no. why? well, i thought perhaps you could arrange a little loan for me. forget it. here are your geloom seeds. oh, may i see those? i want to find out the modern name for them. if it works, that is. it had better work. oh, poor bilejik.

but it will work. ah. now-- now-- now we pour the seawater in that. do not trouble yourself, master. oh, my. she was always a showoff. what happens now? oh, what usually happens is that i get paid, but... well, all right. you'll have fresh water in-- in less than a minute. how does it work? well, you-- you see, the seeds have an incredible affinity for the salt, and they soak it up just like sponges. well, you mean, that's all there is to it? oh, no, no. usually i make it much more complicated. as a matter of fact, i did the same experiment a long time ago. it took me seven months. oh, but the sultan paid me a fortune.

[laughs] she always was a showoff. it's fresh water. and it's wonderful. bilejik: yes. be my guest. bilejik, i don't know how to thank you. thou art telling me? he has already been thanked, master. look at the size of these. look how big they are. yes. well, of course, they're full of salt. where can i get more? oh, it's a weed. it grows in fields everywhere, everyplace. you've done it, jeannie. bilejik, i'm going to see that your name goes down in history. well, who wants that? there-- there's no money in it. can i go home now? yes, great-grandfather. have a safe journey home. and give my love to tanya. ah-ah-ah-ah. ah! look what he had stolen.

jeannie, do you have any idea what these seeds mean? we're gonna go look up a botanist and find out the modern name for these. oh, it's incredible. why, this is the most exciting find i've ever run across. you don't know the half of it. oh, there's no doubt about it. no, no, this is it. you know the name of it? i told you the name of it. it is called the geloom seed. these seeds are the seeds of the lucretia quimby daisy. we're gonna need a lot of them. well, they grow like weeds. it was named for his mother by a man named quimby, in the year 1872. that was nice of him, wasn't it? oh, it goes way back. several thousand years back. yeah, i know. i know. they grow wild in the middle east. grew. grew? yes. you see, uh, quimby was an archaeologist, as well as a botanist. that's why we have a record of this seed.

gave the whole history of the plant and... the blight. the blight? the blight that wiped out the lucretia quimby daisy,

[humming] hi, jeannie. what are you doing? oh. i am in the middle of an experiment.

what the experiment is, right? do you really want to know? go ahead, tell me. drink this. what is it? fresh water. it's salt water. yes. i cannot make fresh water out of salt water, but i have learned how to make salt water out of fresh water. ah! jeannie, i'm home. i am out here, master. boy, you should've seen me in the lab today. jeannie! what are you doing? get down off my towel! what if one of the neighbors sees you? but master, you know how restful it is up here. yes, yes, yeah, i know. but come down here. come up here. take these trunks off. [laughs] no, i don't mean--

oh, master, you worry too much. this patio is private. [humming] not anymore, it isn't. this is custer's. now you've gotta get out of here. custer to captain nelson. hi! hi. my third stage malfunctioned. well, that happens to us down at the cape occasionally. what went wrong? fuel trouble. i guess i didn't mix enough vinegar with the baking soda. well, you can try another space probe tomorrow, huh? gee, i wish i was a real astronaut like you. they send up monkeys and mice, but i don't see what they've got against kids. [bugle playing] that's for me. i gotta go do my homework. sounds like "reveille." it was. but it's the only bugle call mom knows how to play. blast off! [laughs] i'm back. jeannie, i don't mind you levitating.