tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 28, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am PST
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it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight - ewan mcgregor, comedian hannibal buress, "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from tory lanez with cleto and the cletones. and now, get it together, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. sweet passionate love, i appreciate it. last night was guillermo's birthday. i say we had a 432-foot-long
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it started on the roof, went four flights of stairs down to our studio. it put the "fun" back in "funnel" last night. you drank quite a bit. >> guillermo: i had a great time. >> jimmy: yeah, we had to send you home in a car. >> guillermo: yeah, your assistant took me home. >> jimmy: my assistant took you home? when you got home your family was there, did they have dinner ready for you? >> guillermo: they had food but i told them, let's cut the cake, i'm tired, i'm going to go to sleep. >> jimmy: you skipped your birthday dinner? >> guillermo: yeah, i was tired. >> jimmy: what food did they have for you? >> guillermo: thai food. >> jimmy: wow, this is a melting pot, you know? all right, so you went right to sleep. you're a lot of fun. did your son know you came home from work drunk? >> guillermo: no, no, no. >> jimmy: he did not. at what age do you think he'll
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>> guillermo: maybe next year. >> jimmy: maybe next year. earlier tonight on fox news the republican presidential debate, without donald trump, which to quote the great crooner from the '80s orange juice jones is kind of like corn flake without the milk. trump as you probably know refused to appear in the debate because of a dispute he's having with fox news and one of their he'ses, megyn kelly. he's had a problem with megyn kelly ever since she followed him back to his cottage in the woods and found out his real name is trumpelstiltskin. he refused to be part of the broadcast like a kid who took his ball and went home. he tweeted, the debate tonight will be a total disaster, low ratings with advertisers, advertising rates dropping like a rock, i hate to see this. i'm sure. i'm sure it's really tearing him up inside to see it. if this were wwe, donald trump would have shown up in iowa tonight with a mask and a
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beating everyone over the head. unfortunately it isn't. dr. ben carson was also not present for the debate. i mean, he was there. he participated. but he just wasn't present. we have a clip? this is what the republican debate was like tonight bout donald trump. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i've never seen a wrestling move like that. i'm trying to find a way to work that in. trump got a major endorsement this week from the reverend jerry falwell jr. when trump visited his school, liberty university, falwell said, this is a quote," in my opinion donald trump lives a life of loving and helping
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you know, yeah, he does remind me a lot of jesus, the same kind of humility. almost like they're the same guy, really. it does seem strange that a christian leader would endorse a candidate who's kind of a poster child for the seven deadly sins. in case you're not familiar they are pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. which in this case -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: -- is living on his head. this is fox news, retired army lieutenant colonel ralph peters talking about the situation in afghanistan. it's fun to see a highly decorated army guy get his tongue tied. >> we cannot afford to dump money on these problems any more. we've got to think -- we've got to smite fart -- fight smart. as our enemies are doing. >> we understand what you're
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i don't know if our enemies are smiting farts, maybe we should be helping them. on the democratic side, bernie sanders is acting a little donald trump-y, said he wants more debates but not on hillary clinton's terms, he wants them on his own terms, specifically two hours long with a half-hour break in the middle so he can watch "wheel of fortune." and they also cannot be scheduled on nights when he has his hip-hop dance classes. this is good news for bernie sanders. according to a new government report, more americans are living to be 100 years old and older than ever. which is scary because it means we could have 90 more years of justin bieber. but it is -- this is interesting. 80% of those who live past 100 are women. only 20% are men. in other words, very smart move by bruce jenner, switching to caitlyn. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he multiplied his chances of living by four.
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be working longer to have enough money to cover them when they can't work anymore. a lot of older people are doing now as a part-time job, becoming uber drivers. uber, for real, uber teamed up with aarp to recruit older drivers. i no you think it's a joke but it is not a joke. one-quarter of uber drivers are overgy and many are much older than that. think of it like miss daisy driving you. only problem is you can't drive for union fer your car's more than ten years old. and what elderly person has a car that is newer than ten years old? two them tops, maybe. so many retirement-aged people are driving for uber now that they've added it as a special feature on the app. >> at uber we offer many options to suit your lifestyle. now that so many retired people are signing up as drivers, we
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select uber old and within hours an elderly person will pick you up. >> are you joe? >> hi, that's me. >> what? >> that's me. >> are you joe? >> yeah. >> with uber old you'll ride in style with the finest seed covers. and during your ride you are guaranteed to hear the full life story of at least two grandchildren. >> i just hope she finds a nice man who isn't popping drugs this the time. but my grandson nathan -- >> yeah, the lawyer. >> my grandson nathan is a lawyer. >> uber old gets you to your destination in twice the time of a regular uber. >> this is good right here. >> okay. >> wherever it's safe. >> oh! there you go, dearie. >> oh! >> can you rate five stars? >> sure. >> you know, i mean, do you know how to do it? >> oh -- yeah, here, just click the fifth star. >> this one? >> you're in the camera. >> oh. >> no, you -- you've got to get -- you're still in the
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the -- go to the uber app -- >> uber old, because everything else these days moves too damn fast. and for drivers who are no longer legally allowed to drive, >> [ bleep ]. >> joe? >> uber old. >> jimmy: it's over. or is it? we're going to take a break. when we come back from the break, we asked kids what the best country in the world and is this they had some funny answers. "this week in unnecessary censorship" too. stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] rootmetrics, in the nation's largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. verizon, won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. a t and t got thirty-eight, sprint got two,
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verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. a t and t got, text. stuck on an average network? join verizon and we'll cover your costs to switch. [richard] would you like more money with your refund? how about a thousand dollars more? a thousand people win a thousand dollars on top of their refund. every single day. i will not lose.
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there it is... this is where i met your grandpa. right under this tree. (man) some things are worth holding onto. they're hugging the tree. (man) that's why we got a subaru. or was it that tree? (man) the twenty-sixteen subaru outback. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. who knew dates and cashews mashed together could taste likea cookie? you think they'd taste like dates and cashews. nope, cookie. weird.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ewan mcgregor, hannibal burress, music from tory lanez. there's new barbie dolls on the way. for years there's been criticism about barbie's physique being unobtainable, a false image for girls. barbie is now available in three new body types. kendall, kylie, and khloe i think. no. no, here they are. alongside the classic barbie, the first one, that is petite barbie. i guess to make shorter girls feel better? she's like kind of fun-sized. the next is tall barbie. that's progressive. they made her from a model into a supermodel. and this is what they call curvy barbie. also known as barbie-q. and i guess this is the one that's supposed to represent real women's bodies? why is curvy barbie dressed like
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why is she wearing a bow like the one you see on cars when the husband gives his wife a new mitsubishi for christmas? mattel says these new barbie dolls are designed to more accurately reflect the body types of the creepy middle-aged men who collect them. i don't know, hopefully this will make young girls feel good about themselves, i don't know. from my own point of view it always made me feel better about my body knowing ken had no penis. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, this is kind of interesting. yesterday a group called transparency international released a ranking of the most corrupt countries in the world. there was a tie for most corrupt between north korea and somalia. so congratulations to them. the united states finished 16th, which is actually the best ranking we've ever had. the three least corrupt countries are denmark, finland, and sweden. the less -- i think when it's dark 80% of the day, no one has
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you know, we hear a lot, especially during campaign season, about how great america is or how great america was. we grew up -- i grew up hearing that america was number one. and i never questioned that. we are number one, dammit, we'll kill anyone who says we aren't. but i wondered what kids today think. so we sent a camera crew on the street to ask them, what is the best country in the world? and this is what the kids had to say. >> what is the best country in the world? >> mm. i don't know. >> what do you think the best country in the world is? um -- chicago? >> what do you think the best country in the world is? >> i think it's where we are now. >> why do you think that this is the best country in the world? >> because i just love this world. >> what do you think is the best country?
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>> you think france is the best country? how come? >> um -- because there's usually a lot of like cute poodles there and i like poodles. >> what do you think the best >> new york. >> why is new york the best country in the world? >> because you can ice skate. >> what other countries have you >> disney land. >> did you know kids in switzerland get to spend all their days in swissnyland, which is like disneyland, and they don't have to go to school? >> yes. >> you know that? doesn't that make you want to move there? >> no. >> it doesn't? >> i mean yes. >> what do you think the greatest country in the world is? >> america. >> why? >> because there's fun beaches and -- yeah. >> what about north korea? there they give everybody a free haircut and a rocket. >> no. >> you wouldn't want to live there? >> no.
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>> because what if they do bad haircuts? >> if you could live in any country where i do woo want to live. >> california, so here. >> have you ever been to australia? >> no. >> do you know there that each kid gets their own koala bear. >> really? >> uh-huh. and they don't have to do homework ever. >> really? >> yes. >> i want a koala bear. >> what do you think the best country in the world is? >> i guess japan. >> how come? >> because they have a very beautiful palace. >> where's the palace? >> it's kind up in the straits. >> who lives in the palace? >> a king and a queen. >> where did you learn about it? >> i guess i just thought about it. >> you made it up? >> uh-huh. >> you didn't really learn about it anywhere? >> no. >> have you ever been to any other country? >> nuh-uh. but i've been to sacramento.
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>> america. california. michigan. and china. >> one more? >> um -- yogoland. >> paid for the yogurtland department of tourism. >> jimmy: all right. tonight it's time to bleep and burr blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> a brand-new monday, and this is what's going on today. time for a big [ bleep ]. >> my [ bleep ] is in your hands. do with it as you will.
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trump i will suck his [ bleep ] personally. >> look at [ bleep ] here. >> michael, you hurt me with that [ bleep ]. you really did. but that's okay. >> what do you think of each of these ladies? >> what do you think? that's a better question. >> [ bleep ] them all. >> i love black [ bleep ]. you should enjoy [ bleep ]. >> we're talking about national [ bleep ] your dog month. >> january is national [ bleep ] your dog month. >> only donald trump can [ bleep ] center stage. >> the football team, come on, university of iowa, look at the size of these [ bleep ]s, they're monsters. >> you have the greatest job in america and you have the biggest [ bleep ] begin on your face. >> i called her and that is when their dog jumped their fence and [ bleep ]ed my dog from behind and it resulted in death. >> let me tell you something, derek. where we come from, [ bleep ]ing a man's [ bleep ] is against the law. >> i don't care.
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have music from tory lanez, hannibal burress is here, and be right back with ewan mcgregor so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel are brought to you by icy hot smart relief tens therapy. turn on smart relief and turn off chronic pain in your back, hips, knees, and shoulders. stand out. by design. that feeling recaptured. by design. all the hard work... time in the service... community college... it matters. it's why we, at university of phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience
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you know the basic bargain of america is if you work hard, and you do your part, you should be able to get ahead and stay ahead. but so many families don't feel like their hard work pays off. that's not the way america is supposed to operate. i want to go to bat for them every single day. get incomes rising... get equal pay for women... cut the cost of health care and child care so people can actually get ahead. hillary clinton, she has what it takes to get things done.
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here. then, from toronto, this is his single. it's called "say it." tory lanez from the samsung stage tonight. this is a scary picture by the way. it looks like his fingernail's going through his nose. next week, we have a great week of guests including kate winslet, richard dreyfus, jason sudeikis, lionel richie, channing tatum, regina king, george clooney, dave salmoni will bring his wild animal friends, and we will have music from old dominion, kopecky and elton john will be back. he couldn't stay away. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please join us for each and every one of those shows next week. our first guest tonight is a two-time golden globe-nominated actor who successfully battled heroin in "trainspotting" and sith lords in "star wars." now he is the villainous cowboy colin mccann in "jane got a gun."
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please say hello to ewan mcgregor. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good, and you? >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> great to see you. the battled heroin? i was standing there going, no, i didn't. >> jimmy: in that role. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: i was impressed that you rode a motorcycle here tonight. >> i do, i ride everywhere most of the time. unless i've got one of my kids with me. i'm usually on two wheels. >> have you ever put a side car on the motorcycle? >> i do. i have a side car. but it's a bit unsafe to put your kids in a side car, i think. some people do that. i ride around with my dog in there. >> jimmy: a dog. >> i harness him, he can't jump out. >> jimmy: he must love that. >> dogs like having their head out the window of the car.
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dogs invented the side car in a way. >> it's overload, he's complete completely -- just trying to keep anytime the heroin world. >> jimmy: our band leader cleto when we were kids had a bicycle called a side hack on the side. >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: i would get in the side hack. then he would drive me into garbage pails all the time. into walls and stuff. >> have you known each other that long? >> jimmy: since we were kids. >> i made "big fish" years ago. [ cheers and applause ] i had to ride a side car in that. and then -- beautiful actress, alison low man. no, that was -- i don't know, saying good-bye to her. then they took -- they did the shot of me riding away and i looked back. i hit a garbage can, spinning in the air. >> jimmy: that's what happened to me. you posted photograph on instagram that i'd like to show. let's put that up on the wall. i'm curious to know, first of all, how old are you in this picture? >> 16.
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>> yes, it is. >> jimmy: a volkswagen bug, obviously. what year was the volkswagen? >> it was a laid one. 1978. beetle. i think it came from south after xa. it's got weird fenders on it. the wrong taillights and stuff. apparently it's from south africa. i don't know how it ended up in scotland but it did. >> jimmy: the reason you put on it instagram is you're looking for it? >> i'd like it back. >> jimmy: you want it back. >> yeah, i love v ws and i've got several of them. i won't mention how many. i've got a few. >> jimmy: what do you have, what kinds? >> my daily one is a 1954 oval window bug. >> jimmy: all beetles? >> all beetles. my hair's sticking up in the back. >> jimmy: well, look at it there. >> yeah, exactly. being young again. i've got a bunch of vws and this one i think about all the time. i think it's long gone. >> jimmy: nobody responded? >> i've tried and tried. >> jimmy: how would they know? they look pretty similar. yeah? >> well, because i know that the
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>> jimmy: the license plate, you think it stayed? i see. >> stayed the same, yeah. anyway. i think it rusted away and it's gone, sadly. >> jimmy: and this bottle of champagne, was there for drinking? or for christening? >> it was a christening. i was 16 years old. and i'd washed -- i was a dishwasher -- i went to school, i was educated, almost. i went to -- washed dishes in a hotel from the age of 14 to save up to buy a car. at 16 i found this one for 500 kid in aberdeen. and i drove up there with my dad. you know, we drove it back. >> jimmy: isn't it the best when you save up for something and then you buy it? it's really much better than it just being handed to you. >> yeah, i know. i really valued it and i loved it very much. i wasn't able to drive it for over a year because i was too young. in britain you can't drive till you're 17. >> jimmy: wow. >> i did drive. i did take it out now and then. >> jimmy: of course, yeah. we're going to show a clip from your manufactury but i want
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so that they recognize you when they see the clip. you are almost unrecognizable. that is you for sure? >> yes, that's one of the paparazzi shots that you don't -- i was having my hair dyed for the film. because i haven't got dark hair. i came out of the salon and there was a bank of these [ bleep ]s. waiting for me. and i go, for [ bleep ] sake, not now, i've got a big handlebar moustache -- >> jimmy: you look like a village person or something. >> anyway, yes, that's what i look sort of like in the movie. >> jimmy: most people don't know that you, i didn't realize this, that you're in -- >> an ex-heroin addict? >> jimmy: in the new "star wars" movie. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how many people -- how many of you remember seeing ewan in the movie? [ cheers and applause ]
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away. >> jimmy: they're lying. because you're a voice in the movie. >> i recorded a line for it. it was very late in the day. i'd been waiting for the call to come for two years. >> jimmy: really? >> maybe they've lost my agent's phone number? and then i got called. just shortly before it was released by j.j., and he asked me to come in. he said, i'd love you to be part of it, love you to be in it. and there's a sequence where we can use a voice. we hear obi wan ken nobodiby's voice coming from the decent reaches of the force or wherever it does come from. >> jimmy: oh, yes. >> i was like, yeah, i'd love to be in it, i've been waiting for your call. i was able to see some of it before anybody else had seen it. very impressed. very, i recorded a line for it. >> jimmy: they did a melding? >> yes. >> jimmy: of your voice and alec guinness' voice? >> yes.
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got to channel him again. "rae, these are your first steps." but they got alec guinness to do rae, which is extraordinary because he's not alive anymore. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: j.j.'s really impressive, yeah. >> amazing what they can do these days. but they found -- they got a line of him as obi wan saying "afraid." then they custody the "a" and "d" off and got the "rae." alec guinness is saying "rae," and i say "these are your first steps." >> jimmy: that's exciting. we're going to see a clip when we come back," jane got a gun." ewan mcgregor is here. we'll be right back! hi, i'd like to make a dep-- scanner: rescan item. rescan, rescan. rescan item. vo: it happens so often you almost get used to it. phone voice: main menu representative.
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what is the idea of the movie? what is it about? >> well, i don't want to give it ay. >> jimmy: oh, well -- >> berlin, berlin. it was a film that was really a challenge to get made. i think they started and stopped making the film three times. i came on really last minute. there's a very long list of other actors. >> jimmy: i heard -- >> -- who wanted to play my role. >> the director didn't show up or something? >> i don't know exactly what happened. >> jimmy: well, i do. >> you do, yeah. i'd rather you say it than me. >> jimmy: they had to call a temp agency or something and say, get a director. >> the director was brilliant. some other actors attached to this role couldn't end up doing it. i'd gotten back from "son of a gun." i was only making films with "gun" in the title. they said, can you get to new mexico? like tomorrow? and i went, yeah, all right. off i went. i've always wanted to make a western.
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actor, dressing up as a cowboy? >> it's so great? like a childhood dream? a way. >> i've always wanted to do it. there's not many scottish westerns, really. this was my chance to make one here in america. and i loved it. and i got to play the bad guy and everything. it was really great. >> jimmy: are there nonamerican westerns? i guess there would be maybe mexican westerns. >> australia. i think australian -- probably some -- i don't know. >> jimmy: i don't know either. >> most of them -- most of the old spaghetti westerns were shot in spain, weren't they? >> jimmy: i don't know, i didn't know they had spaghetti in spain, but that's probably -- >> it's very close to italy. >> jimmy: someone saw you in "star wars" as well. so what was that? that was your first western? >> yeah, then i made two for the price of one because i was shooting this film up there in new mexico. and a day when i was only in the first scene then the last scene. i had all day to hang around.
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shooting "a million ways to die in the west." on "a million days to lie in the west." or whatever. i went to visit them, because i knew people in the cast. i was saying hello to charlize theron and she said, do you want to be? it be in it? i had the moustache and everything. i went to their wardrobe, and i had to wait there to be shot in a film i wasn't really in. >> jimmy: did they kick somebody out of the movie to put you in? >> no, it was a group scene and they gave me a line to say. so i am in that. i'm now in two westerns. >> wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're a free spirit. it was very good to see you. the movie is "jane got a gun." it opens in theaters tomorrow. ewan mcgregor, everybody. be right back with han mall
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ohh ah ah aflac! aaaaf-lac! ta-daa! he's not a very good magician. he paid my claim in just one day. one day?! shh! how does he do it? in just one day, we process, approve and pay. one day pay, only from aflac. here i am in cancun. this is me talking to la policia. this girl? totally sweating me. and uh, i don't even remember taking this one. you realize this is a job interview. i know, i wanted to show you how proficient i am in social media. we'll be in touch. excuse me. hello? hi, i'm just following up on the interview. dimpatient. dim and impatient. hunger keeps inventing new problems, so we invented new snickers crisper. that's a big bull. i think that's old cyrus.
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hannibal buress. [ cheers and applause ] >> what's up, man? >> jimmy: i'm admiring your shirt, what is going on there? >> my shirt? it's a lady taking off her panties by standing by a dog. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> it's laundry day. this wasn't my first choice. >> jimmy: how are you doing? i see you on tv all the time, i saw you in the movie with will ferrell, mark wahlberg. things aring going well? >> things are cool. >> jimmy: is standup still your main thing, the thing you love more than anything? >> no, i like selling cell phones now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that would be an interesting left turn for you to take.
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phone company. and so i started having people hit me up out of nowhere. a buddy from high school wrote me saying, hey, man, saw that commercial, real cool stuff, i got to come check out a show. >> jimmy: really? >> he wants to check out my standup based on seeing the cell phone commercial. and i think it would be weird if he came to my show and then was disappointed that i wasn't talking about phones. he's like, you don't talk about phones, you just talk about feral relationships and traveling all the time. you didn't talk about cell phones once. >> jimmy: you did a show in japan? >> you been to japan? >> jimmy: never been, no. >> tokyo's crazy. way more japanese people than i thought, way more. i expected there to be a lot of japanese people? there were five times more japanese people than i thought. it was so many people. >> jimmy: and did you -- where did you perform there? >> at this -- at a british pub in japan. >> jimmy: oh, really?
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>> jimmy: did you look around? i imagine you got plenty of time to explore. >> ate lot of noodles. had noodles about 15 times. >> you're not interested in fish that kind of thing? >> i had some fish on the side of my noodles. >> mostly noodles. have you performed in the country where english is not the primary language before? >> no that was the first time. it was interesting just trying to -- japanese is a character-based language. >> jimmy: yes. >> you can't just pick it up. i don't know spanish, i don't know french, but i contact look at spanish and french words and say, i see what they're going for. >> jimmy: right. >> okay, i see the angle, i can maybe guess. when i look at japanese? i just think, oh, that's a ladder. next to that ladder is a sideways ladder. that's all i got. please bring me the english menu. >> jimmy: did you do any other countries in asia? >> i went to dubai. >> jimmy: wow. >> united arab emirates. >> how did you wind up there?
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money, do you want to do standup in dubai? and i said, sure, yeah. that is the right amount of money. >> jimmy: what was that like? >> it went well, man. it went well. it's very rich people. it's a lot of money. they waste money on stuff in dubai. i got pitched. i was walking through a mall, some dude casually said, you want to buy an apartment that's half under water? but not even a hard sell. he was just like, as i walked by, if i would buy on it a whim. like, sure, i'll get that $2 million underwater apartment. that's real. >> jimmy: intentionally under water? >> yeah, under water. >> jimmy: people live in them? >> i think they live in them two months out of the year and rent it out the rest of the time, yeah. >> jimmy: wow. very strange. especially in the desert. >> yeah, it's very weird. we went to an open-air market there. and a lot of these guys -- it's very kind of a narrow place where, you know, little shops on either side.
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the same thing. >> jimmy: right. >> so they have to stand out. and so the thing they would do, they'd try to gauge what country you're from. then yell out something real quick. one or two words to try to get your attention. so they would engage -- my group was american. they would yell out "oh baba!" one guy yelled out "hakuna matada!" what does that mean? that is racist? is that an insult? one guy is like, "what's up, dude?" another guy is like," yes, exactly!" that was his bit. "yes, exactly." how do you know -- i want to do business with you. >> jimmy: yeah, right. speaking of foreign languages, your special is "comedy camisado." >> that means a military attack that occurs at night. >> jimmy: really? >> there's nothing funny about it.
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>> i like how the word sounds. i had my buddy hajj jesus send me words for a tour name and i took it. >> jimmy: he found it in the spanish dictionary? >> i don't know, because another word he came up with was [ bleep ] waffle camisado. i'm like, i can't call my tour [ bleep ] waffle camisado. >> jimmy: do you find now that you're well known that people are coming to your shows specifically to see you, instead of just coming to a comedy club? like do you ever bomb anymore? is it always solid? >> it's mostly -- mostly professional. i keep it professional. because people deserve it. they pay money. one show, it fell apart. >> jimmy: where was this show? >> west palm beach. >> jimmy: oh. yeah. >> november 2014. oh, man. my buddy al, his friend -- we were on tour, the last day of a ten-day bus tour. his buddy had -- he had a yacht
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we went out on a boat, drinking on the bus. show. >> jimmy: oh. >> i remember getting in the cab on the way to the show. when i got to the show? happening. we got to the green room and i was looking at all the stuff. oh, pineapple? but i didn't realize. i said, why is all the stuff that i like here? i thought i was being set up. that show did not go well. i still hear about that show. >> jimmy: for real? >> i post about it. yeah, i'll be in phoenix and somebody like, don't mess it up like west palm beach! it was one show! and that was a special experience! nobody else gets that show. >> jimmy: that's true. >> yeah! that's a unique show! one of one it's right there! me drunk, it was great. so sweaty. >> jimmy: very good to see you, i'm happy for for you. >> thanks. >> jimmy: watching the netflix
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presented by samsung. there are two democratic visions for regulating wall street. one says it's okay to take millions from big banks and then tell them what to do. my plan -- break up the big banks, close the tax loopholes, and make them pay their fair share. then we can expand health care to all, and provide universal college education. will they like me? no. will they begin to play by the rules if i'm president? you better believe it.
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank ewan mcgregor, hannibal buress and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first making his late-night television debut with the song "say it," tory lanez! just keepin' it honest you wouldn't want a young -- if i wasn't whippin this foreign that's why i came back top down you gon have to do more than just say it you gon have to do less when you do it lil mama you know i show it always want you to prove it you gon have to do more than just say it
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less when you do it lil mama you know i show it so you gon need to more than just prove it ooh babe and you know you know and you know in this foreign car let it go and you know you know and you know in this foreign car let you know but how you know that i want you and you want me but i not know you know i know that this ain't right cause you and me cause i got dough ever since you walked in inside my foreign slam my door you know i know that you been on it but i been on it on the low so let a young -- get down on it yeah love when you spin round on it yeah even though a young -- want you shawty i promise the truth and when i come down on it yeah you love when i'm down on it yeah you know i'm gonna spend time on it yeah that's why i came back top down you gon have to do more than just
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you gon have to do less when you do it lil mama you know i show it always want you to prove it you gon have to do more than just say it you gon have to do less when you do it lil mama you know i show it so you gon need to more than just prove it oh babe and you know you know and you know in this foreign car let it go and you know you know and you know in this foreign car let you know gots to break it down for you to let you know you know there's things you know i'm down for ain't goin act like you ain't bout my dough you know i know but girl you know i'm down for take your time to find you out won't hesitate to take the time to waste no baby streamin out the foreign out to play you know its things it takes so let a young -- get down on it yeah love when you spin round on it yeah even though a young -- want you shawty i promise the truth
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yeah you love when i'm down on it yeah you know i'm gonna spend time on it yeah that's why i came back top down you gon have to do more than just say it you gon have to do less when you do it lil mama you know i show it always want you to prove it you gon have to do more than just say it you gon have to do less when you do it lil mama you know i show it so you gon need to more than just prove it oh babe >> i like to break it down for my man mars on the keys. we got t. love on the boards, ladies and gentlemen. it's none other than uncle chuck on the guitars. and carlos on the drums. now this is a special, special occasion for one reason only. we got the original brownstone in the building, baby. say it baby do it
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show it baby prove it say it do it show it say it say it say it do it show it prove it all i'm tryin say i just wanna see your body move in different ways all i'm tryin say come close to you you make me come thru i get so close to you say it do it show it prove it my girl might leave me if she hears about this l.a. confidential
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i hope she never has to hear about this l.a. confidential cause you know i got somebody so i can't -- with just anybody but sometimes i get lonely i get lonely so let me keep it real with you real with you can you keep it real with me real with me when i get lonely i get lonely now and again and again this is "nightline." >> tonight, trump flying solo. >> that's so nice, thank you. >> i may have to leave the stage. >> as the other gop contenders
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