it seems like all of a sudden so much is happening. i know. ross is getting married... phoebe's... making people. everybody's doing stuff. and we just sit here. if i died, the only way people would even know that i was here would be by the ass print on this chair. look, we have to do something, okay? something huge. ( snaps finger ) we could climb mt. everest. no. not something stupid-- something huge. no, no, i saw an ad for this video. people climb that thing every day. we could totally do that. why not? i mean, it's just... it's just climbing. it's just... it's just steep. yeah. we're going to everest, okay? it'd be nice to leave an ass print on everest. hey. hey. hey, what's up? we're going to climb mt. everest. yeah, baby! really? i looked into that. yeah, but i mean, it costs, like, $60,000

and, you know, you could die and... you would die. oh... well. we could get that everest video though. yeah, we could do that without, you know, risking our lives at all. and while we're down at the video store you know what else we could rent? die hard. ♪ so no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪ ♪ your job's a joke, you're broke ♪ ♪ your love life's d.o.a. ♪ it's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪ ♪ when it hasn't been your day ♪ your week, your month, or even your year ♪ ♪ but i'll be there for you ♪ 'cause you're there for me, too. ♪

so what did we decide? does your uncle nathan get an invite or not?

oh, god, nobody likes him. and he's so cheap. i mean, he'd never fly to london in a million years. yeah, invite him. hey, did i do these neat enough? yeah. they're fine. yeah? if anyone asks we'll say that ben addressed them. ( chuckles ) oh. so you invited rachel, then? sure. why not? really? yeah. well, don't think i'd be comfortable having any of my old lovers there. wait, wait, wait. do you think maybe we shouldn't invite her? oh, no, no, ross. you know i absolutely adore rachel. it's just that... well, i thought it might be very awkward for you. but it's absolutely your decision. more tea? yeah. sure. earl grey? huh? fine. invite whoever you want. i don't want to be single, okay? i just, i just, i just want to be married again.

and i just want a million dollars! rachel? oh, god, monica, hi. thank god. monica: okay, everybody... this is rachel, another lincoln high survivor. this is everybody. this is chandler and phoebe and joey and... you remember my brother ross? sure! hey. hi. oh! oh, god! you know, you probably didn't know this but back in high school, i had a, um... major crush on you. i knew. you did? oh. ( chuckles ) i always figured you just thought i was monica's geeky older brother. i did. oh! listen, do you think... and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here. but do you think it would be okay if i asked you out sometime, maybe? yeah. maybe.

okay. okay, maybe i will. see, i see, uh... big passion in your future. really? i do. oh, ross, you're so great. oh... ah... it's never going to happen. um, well, for a while now, i've been wanting to, um... oh... yes, yes. that's-that's right. look at that little kitty! what? that little kitty! ( screaming ) ♪ top of the world lookin' ♪ down on creation ♪ and the only explanation i can find... ♪ listen, if you want this cart you're going to have to take me with it!

yes! did you see that!? you were incredible! a brand-new woman, ladies and gentlemen. i could not have done this without you. no, it's just... okay, um, uh... more clothes in the dryer? oh! oh! i'm fine. i'm fine. you had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me. what? i was doing great with julie before i found out about you. i was doing great before i found out about you. you think it's easy for me to see you with julie? the point is, i... i don't need this right now. okay? it's-it's too late. i'm with somebody else; i'm happy. this ship has sailed. fine. go and do that. fine. fine. i don't need your stupid ship! good. oh! ( exasperated sigh )

do you realize this is the first time in my life i'm doing something i actually care about? something i'm actually good at? if you don't get that... i get that big time, and i'm happy for you but i'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine. i don't know what to do anymore. well, neither do i! is this about mark? ( exasperated sigh ) oh, my god! okay, it's not. oh, my god! i cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, ross.

no, you're making this too hard! i'm making this too hard? what do you want me to do? i don't know! look, maybe we should just take a break. you're right. let's take a break. let's cool off, okay? let's get some frozen yogurt or something. no... ( sighs ) a break from us. do i know why we're rushing? yeah. you know the girlfriend i told you about last night? well, it turns out that she wants to get back together with me... oh, i found it! that's so great for you guys! yeah. good luck with your girlfriend. oh, thank you. i... hey! ( giggling ) rachel! hi! oh... you got my message, huh? yeah. oh, you are right on time! so, what do you say-- can i be your girlfriend again? yes, you can, very much. ah...! i want you to leave. just get out!

i want to stay. i want to talk about this. all right. how was she? uh-oh. wh-what? was she good? don't answer that. ross, you said you wanted to talk. let's talk! how was she? she was... awful. horrible. not good. nothing compared to you. she was different. uh-oh! ooh! good different? nobody likes change. i... just stop that! what? okay! okay! the way you owned up to everything it just showed me how much you've grown, you know? i mean, my mom never thought this would work out. ( mirthless chuckle ) she was all, "once a cheater, always a cheater." mm-hmm. oh... i just wish we hadn't lost those four months.

but if time is what you needed just to gain a little pers-pec-tive... ( shouting ): we were on a break! you seem to really like her. yeah, but what am i going to do? we both agreed it was going to be a two-week thing, you know-- no commitment. ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends asking to hear stories about you looking through monica's photo albums... i mean, you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks. you think? you've got, like, 14 hours until she has to be at the airport and you're sitting here in a hallway with a... 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip. ( chuckles ) hey, you're right. yeah.

( mailbox door closes ) i would imagine that i wouldwas a dinosaur spy... flying... i wanna show you my fierce moves now. ♪ uh, robot space look... cool. they have hearts on the knees! i love being me, and everyone should love being theirselves. say hello to cat & jack! hello, how are you? kids clothing with an imagination of its own. so good! only at target.

i can't believe my brother's getting married and in london. i mean, it's so romantic. hey, pretty smart. tissue paper. you're at the wedding, you have to cry... "handkerchief?" "no. i got my invitation." oh, look! isn't this adorable? ross let ben address mine. hello. hey. hey. hey, did you get your invitation to ross's wedding? no. well, don't worry, man. i get to bring a guest. we'll show him. i'm so jealous you're all going. i can't believe i never knew you can't fly in your third trimester. i didn't know either. i knew that. so didn't know that ( chuckling ): but you should see your faces. hi, guys. what's up?

hey. hey. we're hanging out. what's this? is this ross's wedding invitation? see, maybe that's the one we should have actually hidden. oh, no, no. guys, come on. you don't have to do that. i'm happy for him. i am. i really... i'm... i... i'll work on it. i'm sorry, honey. mmm. rachel, you're going to come though, aren't you? oh, honey i don't know. i... this isn't one of those, you know "she doesn't come, we don't come," right? because i already bought my ticket... you know what would be real weird... is if you weren't there. just say you'll think about it, okay? no, i'll think about it. yeah. who's this from? oh, that's ross's. oh. ( clears throat )

oh, my god. he remembered! remembered what? it was like months ago. we were walking by this antique store and i saw this pin in the window and i told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when i was a little girl. oh, i can't believe he remembered. this must have cost him a fortune. i can't believe he did this. ross? remember back in college when he fell in love with carol and bought her that ridiculously-expensive crystal duck? what did you just say? ( mumbling ) oh... my god. announcer: flight 457 from beijing now arriving. oh, my god. ross and i were in grad school. ross: we haven't seen each other since then. well, i land in china. guess who's in charge of the dig.

julie! julie, isn't that great? i mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? oh, that is so sweet. no... ( chuckles ) no, okay. no, you hang up. no, you... okay. okay. one, two, three. well, you didn't hang up either. she didn't hang up. she didn't hang up. okay, no. no, you hang up. you, you, you... ross? hi. it's rachel. i'm just calling to say that, um, everything's fine and i'm really happy for you and your cat.

so, obviously, i am over you. i am over you and that, my friend, is what they call "closure." rachel, got a message from you. oh, my god, ross, no. hang up the phone. give me the phone. give me the goddamned phone! give me the phone. you're over me? oh, god. what, you're, uh... oh, god. y-you're over me? when were you... under me? basically... ( clears throat ) lately, i've, uh... i've, uh, sort of had feelings for you. okay, i need to lie down. he broke up with julie. ( chuckles )

well, go hug her, for god's sakes! really? really. it's always been you, rach. oh, god. oh... oh... listen, i'm sorry, i had to work tonight. oh, that's okay. you were worth the wait. oh. and i don't just mean tonight. ♪ i never dreamed ♪ that i'd meet somebody like you ♪ ♪ i never dreamed that i'd meet somebody... ♪ what... ah... ♪ no, i... ♪ don't want to fall in love... ♪ oh, god! oh, honey... oh, it's okay.

oh, no, you just rolled over the juice box. gunther, please tell me you didn't say anything to rachel about me and the girl from the copy place. i'm sorry. was i not supposed to? you're the one who ended it, remember? yeah, because i was mad at you not because i stopped loving you. you still love me? no. what does this mean? what are you...? do you want to... get back together? no... maybe. i don't... i don't know. i just... i feel... i can't believe i even thought of getting back together with you. we are so over!

( choked up ): oh... oh... uh... fine by me! and hey, just so you know it's not that common it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal! i knew it!

rachel's coming up. doesn't she look pretty, jack? oh, my god! this is us getting ready for the prom. oh! we don't have to watch this. yeah, we do. come on! come on! judy: get a shot of monica. jack: wait. how do you zoom out? there she is. whoa! shut up! the camera adds ten pounds. so, how many cameras are actually on you? monica: dad, turn it off! jack: it is off. it's not.

jack: right, ross? oh, come on. looking good, mr. kotter. i can't go to my own prom without a date. i can't. it's too late. if you're not going, i don't want to go either. i have a wonderful idea. you should take rachel to the prom. we've seen enough. let's turn it off. no, no, i want to see. well, i'm not going to watch. jack: come on, kid. let's go. judy: are you handsome. jack: let's show 'em! ( nervous chuckle ) okay, dad. rachel, ready or not here comes your knight in shining... oh, no. bye! don't wait up! okay, chip! let's go. judy: oh, dear. jack, how do i turn this off? i can't believe you did that. yeah, well...

see? he's her lobster. no! you're really not going? yeah. it's just going to be too hard. you know, i mean, it's ross. how can i watch him get married? you know, it's just, it's for the best, you know? it is. it's... plus, somebody's got to stay here with phoebe. you know, she's going to pretty big by then and she'll need someone to help her tie her shoes. drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labor...

you don't have a car, and your license expired. i know. yeah, see, there's so much to do and i have so little time to do it in. grocery shoppers of america! take your o organics baby carrots. take your eggs. even your o organics chips. and join the organic movement. organic food is no longer just for the privileged few. now everyone can afford to go organic. o organics, exclusively at safeway.

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well, you could, but probably just the one time. i bet we could get videos of all the sights. get a vcr in a hotel room we'd never even have to go outside. if we do that, we've got to rent die hard. oh-ho, i bet the british version is good. [captioned by the caption center wgbh educational foundation] don't bring that mess around here, evan! whoo! don't do it. don't you dare. i don't think so! [ sighs ] it's okay, big fella. we're gonna get through this together. [ baseball bat cracks ] nice rip, robbie. ♪

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