( scoffs ): that's, like, the tenth time i've peed since i've been here. it's also, like, the tenth time you've told us. oh, i'm sorry. it must be hard to hear. it's a lot easier having three babies playing bringin' in da' noise, bringin' in da' funk on your bladder. pheebs, you... you want a cookie? ( voice breaking ): thank you so much. so, uh, pheebs, honey how are those mood swings coming? ( sighs ): i haven't really had any yet. ♪ so no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪ ♪ your job's a joke, you're broke ♪ ♪ your love life's d.o.a.

♪ it's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪ ♪ when it hasn't been your day ♪ your week, your month, or even your year ♪ ♪ but i'll be there for you ♪ 'cause you're there for me, too. ♪ i would imagine that i wouldwas a dinosaur spy... flying... i wanna show you my fierce moves now. ♪ uh, robot space look... cool. they have hearts on the knees! i love being me, and everyone should love being theirselves. say hello to cat & jack! hello, how are you? kids clothing with an imagination of its own. so good! only at target.

hey. hey. all right. here's the ring. ( gasps ): yes, yes. a thousand times, yes. so, uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet? joey: whoa, whoa, whoa. before you start handing out rings and planning parties don't you have to decide who your best man's going to be? oh, it's awkward. it's awkward. it's awkward. i sort of already asked chandler. what?! he got to do it at your first wedding. i figured you'd understand. i mean, i've known him a lot longer. come on, ross. i don't have any brothers. i'm never going to get to be a best man. you can be the best man when i get married.

i'm never going to get to be a best man! wait, wait. so you get to be my best man twice and i don't get to be yours at all? oh, no. you... of course you can be my best man. what about me? you just said i could. hey, how could it not be me? i'm not even... i don't even... all right. you know what? that's it. from now on, i want you to be my best man. yes! shame about you, though. stop it. what? one of the babies is kicking. i thought that was a good thing. it's not kicking me. it's kicking one of the other babies. oh, don't make me come in there. hey. hey. do you guys have, like, a big bowl i can borrow? yeah. there's one right under the cabinet. thanks. what's it for? a big party tomorrow night. later.

rachel: hey, hey. were you planning on inviting us? no, no. later. hey, get your ass back here, tribbiani! what phoebe meant to say was how come you're having a party and we're not invited? oh. it's ross's bachelor party. so? are you bachelors? no. are you strippers? no. then you're not invited. all right, fine. you're not invited to the party we're having. oh, well, what party? well, um... the baby shower for phoebe. baby shower? wow... that so doesn't sound like something i want to do. later. i can't believe i'm going to have a party. that's so great! a party! yay! ( hysterically ): my god! ( sobbing ) oh, honey... i don't know why.

this is what i got going for the party so far liquor-wise: "get a lot of liquor." great, great. okay. now, in terms of the invite list obviously, i got you, me and chandler and i'm going to invite gunther because we've been talking about this pretty loudly. i'll be there. all right, and... oh, listen-- i know it's your party but i'd really like to limit the number of museum geeks that are going to be there. tell you what. let's not invite any of the anthropologists, okay? just the dinosaur dudes. okay. we'll need a six-pack of zima. hey, guys, what are you doing? oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man. well, good luck trying to top the last one. i don't think it's going to be that difficult considering this one won't take place in the basement of a pizza hut. oh, i'm ross, i'm ross. i'm too good for the hut. i'm too good for the hut. look. i got to go pick up ben. everything so far sounds great, joey. just remember to keep it on the mellow side--

just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker. no-no strippers or anything, okay? you got it. okay. see you later. see ya. ( chuckling ): have fun planning your mellow bachelor party. there's going to be strippers there. he didn't say anything about no strippers. he just said, "no strippers." oh. i chose not to hear that. look what i got! look what i got! look what i got! oh... can you believe they make these for little people? aw, little village people. okay. look at this one. this is my favorite. that is so sweet. i know. phoebe's going to love dressing them in these. huh. except, uh... phoebe's not going to be the one who gets to dress them. because she's not going to get to keep the babies. oh, my god.

we are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever. no... wait a minute. unless we give her all gifts that she can use after she's done being pregnant-- like regular coffee tequila. and somebody can get her those leather pants that she's wanted. she's going to love that. what the hell is this? you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me something i can't even use for another two months?! this sucks! ooh! all right what's my next present?! hey, listen, man, about the stripper... yeah? good call! yeah? okay. a little announcement. a little announcement. i've decided that my best man is my best friend, gunther. what's my last name? central perk? thanks for not marrying rachel. oh, hey, gunther, don't forget your shirt.

hey, hey, what are those? they're little party favors. check it out. wow, yeah. oh, oh, oh... aw. okay. a little announcement. i just want everybody to know the position of my best man is still open and, uh, you know so is the position of the bride. ( sarcastic laugh ) great. okay. smooth, man. you got some chili on your neck. well, i just want to say, thanks, everyone. this was great, okay? and hey, i'll see you guys monday morning. thanks, joe. oh, hey, don't forget your shirt. thanks. ( clears throat ): okay. hey, museum geeks, party's over. okay. wave bye-bye to the nice lady. there you go. back to your parents' basement. all right.

come on, boys, come on out. there you go. oh! look at the little birdies. are those yours? yeah. i didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets. and i got the duck trained, too. watch this. stare at the wall. hardly move. be white. you are really good at that. so, i had fun tonight. you throw one hell of a party. thanks, thanks. it was great meeting you. and listen, if any of my friends ever get married or have a birthday or a tuesday... that'd be great. so, i guess, um, good night. unless you, uh... unless you want to hang around. yeah? yeah. i'll let you play with my duck. ( quacking )

hey... stripper?

the stripper stole the ring! chandler, get up! get up! the stripper stole the ring! what? the ring is gone! oh. okay. just, like, give me... a minute to wake up for this. ( laughing ) you lost the ring. you're the worst best man ever. dude, this isn't funny. what am i going to do? i go to sleep last night, everything's cool. i wake up this morning the stripper's gone and the ring is gone. you slept with the stripper?! of course. hi, guys. hi, phoebe. hi, phoebe. i-i wanted to apologize if i, you know seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower.

no. we... hormones. hormones, yeah. anyway, i just wanted to say thank you. it was so sweet. okay. you're so sweet. thanks. yeah. you seem to be doing so much better. how are things going? good. okay. it feels like it's... everything's been about me lately. so what's happening with you? actually, we were just talking about me not going to ross' wedding. oh. it just might be too hard given the history and all that. this reminds me of the time when i was, um, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if i slept with him. but... h-how is this like that? well, let's see... it's not really... like that because, you see, that was an actual problem and, um, yours is just like, you know a bunch of, you know, high school crap that nobody really gives...

well, i'm, i'm sorry. i guess i just thought... here come the waterworks. ( crying ) i called the company that sent her and they don't care. then i called 911, and they yelled at me. if this isn't an emergency, then what is? hey, guys. hey. hey. i just wanted to thank you again for last night. the guys from work had a blast. one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. yeah, and another one had never been to a party before. so, uh, hey, that, that wedding ring huh? man, that is nice. yeah, right? i was, uh, i was thinking i might pick one of those babies up for myself. where might one get one of those? that ring? when my grandmother first came to this country that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her. so you might say that the ring is irreplaceable.

mmm! oh, absolutely. it's been in my family for generations and every bride who's worn it has lived a long and happy life. so you might say it's a magic ring. the stripper stole it. my... my ring? my-my wedding ring? the-the stripper stole my wedding ring? h-how? how-how could this happen? i think it all started when you said "hey, joey, why don't you be my best man?" all right, all right, fine. i'm going to call the cops. dude, i-i screwed up. you don't have to turn me in. not on you. on the stripper. i already did that. they said they're going to look into it after they solve all the murders. okay. well, then we'll-we'll call the company that sent her. i did. they wouldn't give her real name or number. they said if i bothered them again they'd call the police. i said, "you tell them i'm missing a ring."

so what, joey? w-what, what are you telling me? that there's nothing we can do? look, i am so, so sorry. i-i... all right. what if we just, uh, called her, used a fake name and had her come to my office? that sounds like fun, but we got a ring to find! here's your tea, phoebe. mmm. it's so good. oh, thanks. that's sweet. so glad you like it. ( groans ) what? what? she made the tea. ( phoebe groans ) no. i... i think i just had a contraction. you what? i thought i felt one a couple minutes ago and now i know that definitely was one. you can't have the baby here.

i haven't sterilized the apartment since the guys moved out. we're going to be okay. you know what? i'm going to boil some water and just rip up some sheets. it's all right. it's probably false labor. they said that could happen near the end. get the book. rachel, get the book. the book. okay, okay. here. the bible? i don't know! we catch flo, the progressive girl, at the supermarket buying cheese. scandal alert! flo likes dairy?! woman: busted! [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught her riding shotgun with a mystery man.

oh, yeah! [ indistinct shouting ] is this your chauffeur? what?! no, i was just showing him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. you just plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. does she have insurance for being boring? [ light laughter ] laugh bigger. [ laughter ] ally a hug. this toy is a reminder that someone cares. these are a chance to be part of a team. and this is the chance to succeed. female announcer: with your support, everyone at sleep train

proudly dedicates their time, hearts, and resources to giving local foster children one important thing: - hope... - hope... hope... not everyone can be a foster parent... ...but anyone can help a foster child. ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪ all right. okay. okay. this is great. chandler, get behind the desk and-and when she comes in, hopefully she won't recognize you because... well, why would she? uh, okay and then you buzz ross and i. and you be mr. gonzales and i'll be mr. wong. diverse. ( knock at door ) woman: anybody call for security? okay, okay. you be cool. okay. which one of you guys is gunther central perk? hey, joey. where's my ring?!

my dead grandmother's wedding ring-- where is it?! where is it?! way to be cool, man. hey, what's he talking about? there was a ring in a box on my nightstand. after you left, it was gone. you guys think i stole some ring? ( all agreeing ) we know you took it so just save yourself the time and confess. okay. who are you, the hardy boys? look, i don't need to steal some stupid ring, all right? i make $1,600 a week doing what i do. any of you guys make that? marry me. joey: i don't get it. it was in my room all night. if she didn't take it and i didn't take it and you didn't take it then who did? ( quacking ) shh! we're trying to think. ( stops quacking ) ( quacks )

here. i still don't get how you know when it's false labor. well, do you see any babies? how do you feel? okay, i guess. i mean... i don't know. it's... i guess i know it's going to be over soon, so... but isn't that a good thing? i mean, you said you were sick of this. i know. it's just, usually when you're done with the pregnant thing then, you know, you get to do the mom thing. i'm going to be, you know, sitting around in my leather pants drinking tequila. some moms do that. yeah, that's even sadder. look, i-i know i know what i got myself into, you know. it's just that now that they're in me, it's like... it's like i know them, you know, and-and... it's not going to be easy

when these little babies have to go away. i know, sweetie, but it's not like you're not going to have anything. i mean, you're going to have nieces and nephews. in some ways, that's even better. yeah. okay. no, really. really, pheebs. i mean, you're not going to be the one worrying about saving for college or yelling at them when they're bad, you know or deciding to put them on ritalin when they just won't calm down. monica: you're going to be the one that they come to when they want to run away from home and the one they talk to about sex. you just get to be cool aunt phoebe. "cool aunt phoebe." ( mirthless chuckle ) i am pretty cool. oh. yeah, and you know what else? oh, my god, are they going to love you. they are going to love me. oh. thanks, you guys. honey. aww. again. oh, sweetie. mmm... thanks. oh! what? oh, god. what?

just kidding. oh. what? ( screams ) oh, my god. gotcha again. you're so easy. if anything should happen to him... joey, the vet said it's a simple procedure. so? things could go wrong. you don't know. what if he doesn't make it? he will, joe. but what if he doesn't? he's such a good duck. ♪ ...and tell me ♪ when will our eyes meet? ♪ when can i touch you? ♪ when will this strong yearning end? ♪ ♪ and when will i hold you ♪ again?

i'm just so worried about him, you know. somebody lose a ring? oh! oh, my god! thank you. thank you so much. ( sniffs ) how's the duck? he's doing fine. resting. you can see him in a little bit. oh, great. listen, ross, thanks for being so cool about this. no, that's all right. no, it's not. you made me your best man and i totally let you down. hey, come on. it's not your fault. yeah, it is. you wouldn't have lost the ring, right? you know what? ross, you were right from the start. he should be your best man. no. you should. look, don't argue with me. hey, hey, i get to choose my best man. i want both you guys. really? really? hey, both you guys should be up there with me. i mean, you two are... are my... i mean, i'm lucky to have just one good... ( stammering ): th-thanks, man.

( voice cracking ): i got to go check something over here. ( joey sobbing ) what a baby. total wuss.

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don't bring that mess around here, evan! whoo! don't do it. don't you dare. i don't think so! [ sighs ] it's okay, big fella. we're gonna get through this together. [ baseball bat cracks ] nice rip, robbie. ♪

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[captioning made possible by arner bros. domestic television harvey: welcome to "tmz live." harvey levin here. charles: charles here. harvey: so we broke a story early this morning on the website. designer, a very famous rapper. we talk about him a lot. he's in a lot of trouble. he got arrested for all sorts of felonies late last night. we are talking possession of drugs. possession of drugs with the intent to sell, weapons charges, carrying a loaded firearm in a car. menacing by pointing a car at another driver in the middle of road rain. he went to jail. he is in trouble. mike: yeah, guys, we spoke to law enforcement in