workout. we have very funny people here. blake clark. blake wong and kathleen hanigan. >> i grew new macon, georgia, the red neck capital of the world. it's the where he had neck capital of the world. they don't grow them all there, but they come there to train. alcohol, tobacco and firearms isn't a bureau of the federal goth. it's a shopping list for the weekend. it has that tag in it that says from 100% virgin wool, chances

are that sheep was never in georgia. >> where did you grow up? >> grew up in st. louis. >> is that's where your parents are? >> my parents still live there. i was just visiting them. they're getting to that anyone where everything in the house is broken. we play chess. there's six piecing missing from the chess set so we replace them with my mom's nativity set. uncle earl, that's a pawn, you're not supposed to move him backwards. that's the son of god, boy. he can go wherever the hell he goes. if he can walk on water, he can damn well go backwards, i'll tell you that right now. >> do you watch a lot of tv? >> i watch a lot of discovery

medical health channel. it's not because i want to. right before i go to bed, they say the most bizarre sentence i ever heard. join us for the next hour we when we visit with archie, the 84-pound 1-year-old. you can't turn that off. you've got to see archie. i've got to see the kid. then i know i'm going to get involved. and then i'm going to be up for two hours. so they come back and it's a british announcer. and he's trying to sound super serious. but sometimes that access just sounds extra hilarious to our ears. this is his sense tense. on his first birthday, archie weighed in at 84 pounds. it was at this point his parents, sara and nigel became frightened. >> really? it took them that long.

nobody freaked out when he weighed 78 and he's rolling around the kitschen? >> so you grew up in missouri? >> i don't want to brag too much about me and greg's state of missouri, but we're not number one in crystal meth labs. thank you. we worked very hard. we were number two last year. we have taken over tennessee. i think we should say it at the next political convention when that fat man gets up to say things about your state. i think our guy should walk up totally seriously. mr. chairman from the fine state of missouri, more meth labs any other state, we are super wound up tonight. super wound up.

i would never do a drug that involves red necks and science. you've got to be really stupid. that's why those labs keep blowing up. you've got scooter and moron out in the shed trying to do chemistry. they don't have a ged between the two of them. i would give my entire week's paycheck to hear the conversation right before the explosion. you supposed to use more ammonia, you dumb ass. >> why don't you just shut up and turn up the heat like i told you. off they go. >> we've got to take a break. we'll be right back. irritated,? count on cortizone-10. with the strongest, non-prescription itch medicine for fast relief. and 7 moisturizers. cortizone-10. feel the heal. that coffee breaks down tooth enamel.

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compared to a dry duster, a can of pledge picks up more dust and cleans 100% of messes. pledge multi surface. dusts better. cleans more. [ applause ] >> welcome back to "comics unleashed." you a big baseball fan? >> yeah, it's kind november my family. kathleen knows, we're both from st. louis. it's huge. my uncle earl is the biggest fan. he listens to the game every night on the radio. he spends the whole game complaining that the announcer is not telling him the score frequently enough. all he wants to hear is the score. he shouts at the radio, what's

the score, fat ass? what's the score, moron. what's the score? fat morton ass. his idea of the perfect broadcast would be this. the score is 3-2. 3-2. 3 will have 2 is the score. one time has 3. the other team has 2. the team with 3 is beating the team that has 2 by a margin of 1. folks, if you just joined us, the score is 3-2. we're going to go down to the field. what's going on down there? >> down here, the score is 3-2. now let's take a look at that score. 3 is an odd number, it is also a prime number. if the othteam with 2 would gete more run, it would be 3-3. let's not get ahead of yourselves.

the score is now 3-2. >> you like charity events. >> are you from philly? >> yeah, yeah, they call philadelphia this, the city of brotherly love. get lost in a bad part of philadelphia. how much love a brother going to have. >> i got lost in philly one time. i pulled up to these guys. look here, man, how far away am i from the ben franklin bridge. the guy said going to take you two hours to get there. >> it's two hours to get to the ben franklin bridge. >> it is when you're walking.

. he was right. >> are you a big sports fan? >> i am. basketball, nba. >> i particularly like the playoff where is they show the nba cares commercial where they show how nice the playoffs are when they go back to work and how they go to local grade schools. and the children teach them how to read. my dad watches a lot of golf. i shouldn't watch the master, but i do. the reason i shouldn't watch it is because it's a private club in augusta, georgia. i should not support this, but i do. every year there's women that protest and every year i look at them and i think good luck la ladi ladies, you i eave seen those old crusty white guys. they don't like tiger being out

there, ladies. you know they're sitting there saying in's a colored boy out there somewhere. somebody said he's half chinese. this is ridiculous. i'm calling dwight eisenhower. but i still watch. >> i can't believe you're still not hilarious. >> every time i come here, he's so serious. i brought receipts to you in a gap bag. no, i don't have any crazy offshore accounts. i don't even know what you're talking about. would you like us to efile your taxes? send them with a pigeon. i don't care how you file the taxes. just do it. do you plan for your future?

i've been practicing to write with the opposite hand in case i have a stroke. >> we'll take a break. we'll be right back with more comedies unleashed. llegra, gabe's allergies made it hard to keep up. children's allegra. effective, long-lasting, non-drowsy relief of their toughest symptoms. so kids can stop suffering and start living. we have a serious hairball issue. we clean it up, turn around, and there it is again. it's scary. little bit in my eye. [ michelle ] underneath the kitchen table, underneath my work desk, we've got enough to knit a sweater. [ doorbell rings ] zach, what is that? the swiffer sweeper. the swiffer dusters. it's some sort of magic cloth that sucks in all the dog hair. it's quick and easy. pretty amazing that it picked it all up. i would totally take on another dog. [ kevin ] really? ♪ [ kevin ] really?

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>> welcome back to "comics unleashed." i have a job. i was a lifeguard at a pool one time. you can't watch all those kids at a pool. >> that's unrealistic expectations right there, you know. >> there were in the shallow end when i first saw them. >> hey! >> everyone around the pool, you know? he mess around and got my newspaper wet. that's when i got upset. >> can't you see there's a kid drowning here. >> see, i hate somebody try to tell me my job. look, i just finished eating a chicken sandwich and you're supposed to wait one hour.

>> so what's going on with your grandmother? >> my grandmother is in a nursing home in chesapeake, virginia. it's 4,000 a month for her to stay there. >> wow. >> i can't afford to keep her there. i was trying to find a place to keep her careful. my grandmother ran a house cleaning service for 25 years. she never paid taxes on the money that she earned. so i called up the irs and reported her for income tax evasion. and ethen i called her up and said grandma, i found another place you're going to be staying. so she's got to wear jump suits. >> so you talk about your parents no the getting along. >> my mom says we need a new dryer, my dad says we don't. they're getting pretty mean. i think they're going to take out those political attack ads against each other. colin warren wants a new dryer.

we don't need a new dryer. colleen warren wants to waste our money. money that could be spent on a new security system for t home. colleen warren wants terrorists to invade our home. i hope you like your new dryer, kol l colleen warren. >> what do you do at home to relax? >> i like watching sports. that's what i do. i watch sports on tv because i'm a guy and that's what guys do. i really don't watch anything else except -- that's the reason i have a tv. to watch sports. i don't watch, you know, american lost your idol. let's make a deal with some 8-year-old who can't sing. i don't know. i watch sports on tv. that's what i -- i'm a guy. i belch i fart, i scratch

myself, i smoke cigars i drink beer and i watch sports on tv. and i can do all of those simultaneously. i have actually enough to change the channel without touching the tv. >> when i go home, sunglasses get larger. i don't know what's .hag, but i told them look, when your sunglasses are bigger than the windshield, you can't drive anymore. did you have them welded? sun glasses are literally -- i mean, from retirement, they decide -- my dad decided they were going to build a cabin in the woods. i don't get it. my mom goes i don't either. but i think it's a great idea. if there's a terrorist attack, we can all just come and live here at the cabin. i go mom, i love you, but i would rather have a nuclear bomb

shoved directly up my ass than try to live out the end of time with you and dad in a cabin. and then he seriously bit this thing in the middle of missouri all by himself himself. he had to get the roof on. he decided he was going to hire amish people. there's a lot of them in missouri. so i called him and i said hey, did you ever hire those amish people. he said you can't call the s.o.b.s, i never thought about that. we had to get in the cadillac and chase the buggy for 57 miles. >> we've got to take break. we'll be right back with more "comics unleashed." siri, check messages. you have a message from becky: see you soon. can't wait to see cousin jared! not really our cousin. remember, aunt becky is like my sister. what about uncle rodney?

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i ing. >> welcome back to "comics unleashed." what kind of music do you like to listen to? >> i like a lot of different kinds. i bought my first rap cd the other day. i took it up to the register to pay for it. and they ask you all these questions now whenever you buy anything so they can put you on your mailing list. it's confusing. what's your name? greg warren. what's your g-rock! no, moron, the name of the street that you live on. whispering meadows. >> so you still on the road a

lot? >> i am on the road a lot. i've been in the south a lot lately. which is fine. yes, i don't dash lot of comedians go, they're not so smart. they're fine. but after a few weeks, it's just the pacing. it's so slow. honey, can i help you. you can talk faster. i've got three things to do today and it's 4:00. i swear to god, i think that's why the south lost the civil war. they don't communicate quickly enough and unfortunately for them, war is a snappy event. i think them yankees are fixing to come -- ow! ow! ow! >> give them a round of applause. i want to thank you for hanging out with us. you at home, until next time.

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from the cbs broadcast center in philadelphia this is cbs-3 "eyewitness news". >> now on "eyewitness news", self-defense or criminal act? a homeowner opens fire killing a man he says was trying to break into his truck. but police are still trying figure out exactly what happened. good evening, i'm chris may. jessica is off tonight. >> well tonight friends of the victim in this case are questioning whether the shooting

was justified. our diana rocco has the latest on the investigation from philadelphia's frankford neighbor. >> reporter: father of two shot in the back by a homeowner who thought thisaway truck was being broken into. friend of the 30 year old vick testimony say it's all big misunderstand. >> rich was not confrontational. he would avoid fight if he had to. he was the type of person even with me give you the shirt off his back type of guy. >> 56 year old homeowner says he was allegedly defensing his property when his surveillance camera picked up a man going through the back of his pickup truck just after 10:00 o'clock on thursday in the josephine street alley. he pulled a gun killing hip and then called 911. >> met by the resident of that location a 56 year old male who stated to them that while someone was breaking into his vehicle, he shot the male. two gunshot wounds. one to the back of his head. the second gunshot wound to the left side of his back. >> reporter: the owner turned over his weapon and surveillance

video but the victim's friend says he's been staying with friend in the area overnight and he drives a truck identical to the homeowner's. he believes his friend may have mistaken the truck for his own. >> he has two little kids. coaches little league baseball and it's shocking. definitely shocking to hear. >> reporter: that pick up now gone from the spot taken as police evidence. the homeowner is being questioned while police review the castle doctrine a pennsylvania law that allows homeowner to dough fend their property. >> if they're breaking into his property, i don't see why he didn't defend himself. >> this is hard-working guy. he doesn't bother anybody. >> neighbors say recently this area has seen break ins and vandalism. this victim was unarmed when he was shot. police say it may take them several days to determine if charges will be filed here. outside police headquarters in center city, i'm diana rocco cbs-3 "eyewitness news". >> new