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>> we're back. welcome to comics unleashed. >> i almost hit a guy and he pounded on the car of my window. >> i said i'm sorry. he starts coming at me and if there is one thing i learned from nascar, you don't let

someone hit you while you are in the car. he was speaking and called me names in farcy, i would guess that's what it was. i wasn't sure what it meant. it was so funny. i knew he didn't have a gun. he wasn't black. i wasn't afraid of him. i hate to admit it, but we are in a white guys club. as a white guy you assess the nationality. a black guy can kick my as. you go right and go right through it. >> i'm not good with the race thing. i get caught. have you ever given somebody road rage business and gotten caught? the whole speed up thing and the guy cuts you off and went in. nobody knows i'm small until i get out of the car. shut up! shut up! you are acting like -- i can't

do the whole thing over again. i'm acting like i was there. >> kevin, you drive in that shriner's car. when i see the canopy with the frame hanging over it, i think i can handle it. >> i drive a truck. i don't mess with cars. not that i have the complex, but i have the truck. it's a give away and it's bad when you argue. the only reason i don't do it anymore, i got into an argument with this guy and i was in the truck. one thing i have the napoleon complex but it's not that bad. i got out and when i got out, i jumped out. he was like are you serious? i said not really. just forget it. >> we have to take a break. we'll be right back. don't go away. ñ

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welcome back. it's comics unleashed.

what's wrong with your in-laws? >> they are crazy. i married a girl from the hills of kentucky. my wife is hill billy. my in-laws are hill billy where most families debating who married up. i got a brother if law named rudy. rooty. the day he laid eyes on me he said hey, what the hell you doing here. i said i'm porking your sister, dumb as. i said my turn, scoot over. you laughed at me family, laugh at yourself. >> i was going to pick a football parlay with him. this is humiliating. i thought you were from the tribe. you do have that look. i would go with the indian if i were you. >> we have plenty of mexicans. now there is more. mexicans are growing. i am here to tell you on behalf

of them, sit back and let us show you what brown can do for you. >> thank you. >> you used to be -- now they are taking your spot. >> mexicans are black with the same. we are family. we are the same. our gangs are the same type of gangs. to be honest we both hate white people. >> when the absence of white people, you guys got to rumble. you are getting in prison and there is no whiteys. you would be like oh, my god. you need a strap on. >> if i was going to prison nothing would happen to me because i'm the cute and the funny guy. you don't want to hurt or rape the funny guy. you know what i'm saying? we are going to take your back.

me? come on, y'all. >> let's do a little roll playing. boy, i'm going to rape your as for good. >> me? rape my as? after i do this? >> that's funny! right, i'm not going to rape him. you can't rape the willing, my friend. you know what, you are funny just thinking about how much bad stuff a white person has to do to end up in prison. you have the nice white prisons. or women too. >> what does a white guy, how bad do you have to be to end up in prison? >> you spend time and what do we have to do? i stole cars and i sold cocaine.

>> i'm trying to get in. >> i'm funny. i have been to prison. i was in jail for maybe 13 hours. >> what were you there for? is that the thing with the 13-year-old? >> i got to tell you, heads up. if you like to cruise the internet like tom and i and you show up at a young lady's house and you hear that voice from the kitchen, come in! some sweet tea! >> i love that show. >> did you bring the condoms? >> it's fun when they check the guy's truck. they talked to the guy and he's like i just came out to hang out with the 12-year-old. i thought we might shoot pool or go for a pony ride or something first off, if you met a 13-year-old on the internet and went to her house and you just wanted to hang out, i want you

incarcerated. at least the guy is trying to hump the 13-year-old, i can make sense of. at least there is a category. the scarier criminal is the guy who wanted to chit-chat. i have peechee folder that looks like that. >> we have to take a break. don't go away. -way turbo power. watch lime-a-way power through this block of pure limescale! now, let's see it in action. tough hard water build-up? gone. no scrubbing! turbo power destroys it! lime-a-way turbo power. see the difference, or your money back. ñ ina bite size new ways. to enjoy the full size sensation of peppermint and rich dark chocolate. new, york minis, get the sensation.

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anncr: now you can merge the physical freedom of the car,

with the virtual freedom of wi-fi. chevrolet, the first and only car company to bring built-in 4g lte wi-fi to cars, trucks and crossovers. hi mom. you made it! anncr: it's the new independence. rookside, and discover an exciting combination of tastes. rich, dark chocolate covering soft centers. flavored with exotic fruit juices. it's chocolate and fruit flavors like you've never experienced before. discover brookside. >> all right, welcome back to comics unleashed. kevin, i know you have phobias. what are some of them? >> not that i have phobias, but i have a lot of fears. i don't like the ocean. i think everything is jaws.

i have seen the movie jaws too much. i don't like dolphins. my wife tried to get me to swim with the dolphins in maui. she forced me to do that. after i agreed, we get in the tank. this is why i'm scared of the stuff. it's like eight dolphins with the kids on the back of the dolphins. it don't look that bad. i get on the back of my dolphin and you grab the fin and as soon as i grabbed the fun, he goes to the bottom. because i'm already scared, i thought he cut a deal with sharks. bring the black dude to meet this dolphin. i get up and when i get up to the top, i start yelling up there. you see the white kids on the back of those dolphins and nobody saw the black guy missing for like 35 seconds. it's just five feet. i didn't even realize i was

standing up. >> you can still drown in five feet. >> it's a nice dolphin. they make noise and i got out and he was like -- i knew what he was talking about. you may not believe me. i'm being honest. i don't like nats at all. i think they will do something to your body. i had a nat fly in my nose one time. it's bad. when i say nats do something to you, i mean it. have you been in a conversation where a nat flies by? it stops everything. your friend is looking at you because they don't know what's going on. can't nobody see it except you. you are the only one who knows what's going o. he got in my nose and i'm like -- >> i had my neighbor watch me walk through a spider web, but from 100 yards, it looks like corolla has just lost his marbles. you think you are going out and

getting the paper and walking out and you have this holy shut! corolla is doing tai chi on the driveway. >> you have pet peeves. you can't stand when people leave stuff open in the kitchen. >> it started with the guy who wouldn't flush the urinal. we had to make the electronic eye. we're living in a society that doesn't trust the people that flush the damn toilet when they are taking a vitamin b wiz. we do it electronically. you walk into a bathroom. okay. you are in there and somebody did not flush the toilet. you flush it, but it's not clean. then you know there is somebody

waiting. you are responsible for that skid mark. what doe do you? >> i defecated more. >> i walked in at work and saw the gasket of a guy using the seat liner, the one on all the construction sites in the porta potties with the cowboy hat on it. on the outside, this is the mexican space shuttle. >> you guys are funny. the point is you don't have the decency to pull your own gasket off? that's something you have to contend with. we are not going to flush ourselves. i'm moving to canada. oh, man. >> that was funny. what misses me off, the urinal with the eye, when we are in an airport or office building, when you use the urinal and there is a pubic hair on the urinal.

what guy was that nafty that before he peed -- >> it's like the mark of zorro. pobo was here. it's more of a mission. i am going to get that pub down there. i can follow the trail and get you home. >> i was in new york at jfk, i think the american terminal about three weeks ago and they finally finished the new terminal if you fly out there. it has been years they had the crappy terminal. i went to use the bathroom before i got on the plane and there is a common courtesy. off load when before you go on a six-hour flight. i don't want to see you doing your business in a broom closet going 700 miles an hour. do your crapping on earth. i go in there and i just have to go number one so i'm shaking the

due off the lily and i realize this is a brand-new state-of-the-art airport and they did not put the division between the thing. this is -- ladies, you guys complain all day about the lines, you are not missing into a trough with 13 other women into a communal hole. i am getting secondhand spray from this guy who drank a case of hein ken. his flight was canceled and this guy has a pony keg and suffering from urethraitis and i am feeling the spray of his urine. $12 worth of plywood would solve this problem. the state-of-the-art airport. there should be a law. >> give it up for archie bunker's illegitimate kid. >> i had a great time. thanks for joining us.

you too as well. until then, keep left.

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>> and developing now, another american diagnosed with ebola and u penn doctor will now go into quarantine. good evening to you, i'm jessica dean. >> i'm chris may. concerned about ebola in america is growing by the hour. >> tonight we learned that another american who was working with a doctor from penn tested positive for the potentially deadly virus. natasha brown is tracking new developments. >> reporter: this 33 year old tv cameraman was working with health reporter and u penn dr. nancy schneider man in africa when he began showing symptoms on wednesday. test results confirmed today that he does have the ebola virus. now while he and the entire team will be flown back to the us and quarantined once they get here, we're also now learning that more and more americans locally and all around the country are growing more concerned about the spread of this virus. >> thomas eric duncan took two international and one domestic flight to get from liberia to

dallas on september 20th. at philadelphia international airport some passengers were a little more leary of boarding their planes. >> we're just going to be very cautious. stay to ourselves. wash our hands. do the routine things that they suggest. but it is concerning that somebody is now in the united states with the ebola virus. >> reporter: passengers continue on to their destinations with caution travel for ebola patient thomas eric duncan and four of his family members is prohibited. they're quarantined at their home in dallas and ordered not to have visitors. more than 100 people who had direct order indirect contact with duncan are now being monitored. will forward small wood is duncan's half brother and says duncan had symptoms for five days while he stayed at the apartment with relatives. >> he start getting hot and vomiting up in the bathroom. i call the ambulance to pick him up. >> reporter: duncan wasn't showing any symptom however when he flew to the us almost two week ago. while living in liberia he

helped a pregnant neighbor who later died of ebola. but when he left that country, duncan filled out this form denying he was in contact with anyone who had the varus. the president of liberia says he will be prosecuted for that. meanwhile the cdc updated its website with new guidelines for airlines on how to deal with potential ebola cases. philadelphia international tells us that the cdc does have a contamination and quarantine station and signed the international terminal at the airport. philadelphia airport officials also telling us tonight they have not received any new directives from the cdc just yet as to how to deal with the ebola cases. live here in the sat center tonight, natasha brown, cbs-3 "eyewitness news". >> a lot of developments, natasha, thank you. there are big changes coming to our weather. meteorologist kathy orr is tracking what's to come. kathy? >> the storm system that is going to bring that major change is out to the west. severe weather with tornado watches and warnings moving

eastward, and we are going to see some of this rain from the same system coming our way soon. right now temperatures still in the 60s throughout much of the region because we have cloud cover but the clouds will clear out, and then our next weather system will be moving in. it will be moving eastward bringing rain and bringing wind but the bigger story is what comes behind it and that definitely will be a major change in our weather the cold. so coming up we'll talk about one more nice day, plan around the rain for the weekend and the coldest air yet is knocking on our doorstep. more coming up with the seven day later in the broadcast. >> kathy, thank. breaking news late on thursday night. a triple shooting in philadelphia's kensington neighborhood. this happened at lee and clearfield streets this evening. police say that all three victims managed to drive themselves to temple hospital all are in stable condition right now. philadelphia police are investigating. >> caught on camera in juniata park, vandals puncturing tires

overnight. they hit east worrell and potter streets. police say there are three suspects. but in this exclusive surveillance video, you'll only see on "eyewitness news", there appear to be four people about eight vehicles were damaged. it's absolutely disgraceful. like they have no respect for anybody in this neighborhood or what they work for or how hard they work. they just don't care. >> anyone with information on these suspects is urged to contact east detectives. tonight, a philadelphia fire lieutenant is free on 100,000 dollars bail after being charged with two disturbing crimes. jamal johnson is accused of kidnapping and sexually assaulting a woman in logan. investigators say johnson impersonate add police officer and told that victim she would be arrested unless she performed a sex act. investigators say she complied and then managed to escape. johnson is assigned to ladder company 14 in north philadelph philadelphia. >> two stars of the real housewives of new jersey are going to prison.