>> one time when melissa still had custody, she was going off, you bitch, you bitch. get out of the car. she's screaming at me with my stepson in the car. i get out and say, "call me a bitch one more time." she gets in my face one more time and calls me a bitch again. i pushed her back. i was like "don't get in my face." she said, "you just assaulted me. i'm calling the cops." the cops came and i said officer, i have never been involved in a situation like this in my life. >> dr. phil: luckily no one ended up behind bars that day. ashley and eddie swear that is nothing compared to melissa's out of control behavior that thl with every day. melissa says ashley is the problem and just needs to butt out, stop provoking her, accusing her, harassing her and ruey deaher life. take a look at what she has to say.

>> the relationship with my ex-husband, eddie, is terrible. he hides behind his wife.ining she runs the show, not you. you're her little puppet. she's the devil. ashley is dracula's wife. i think she feels she's my son's mom. i like i'm his mother. you're a horrible mother. >> you don't have custody of your child. >> when ashley tries to discipline my son in front of me, i don't like it. it's my place and eddie's place to discipline. i have 96 hours a month with my son. that's it. to be told by the court that yo. >> when they got custody, ashley sent me an e-mail saying me and eddie go to dinner, maybe you can baby sit. i was stunned. you got to be kidding me. she's a disgrace to mother hood.

when she told me she was mother of a mother than i was, i was so peed off. i was shaking.i don't know happ afterwards. i had one grandmother say i should punch her in the face. i'm at my limit. enough is enough. >> dr. phil: i'll let you respo far. >> a lot of stuff they're saying as far as like feces and the underway for two days, i don't know where that came from. >> came from the first court case. >> i don't remember -- >>the documentation showing. >> i don't remember it. >> it happened while you were moving. he pooped himself. you sent him to school -- >> were you there? >> it was dried poop. >> how do you know it didn't happen at school? with >> we talked about this. you said you didn't know. >> of course i didn't know it happened at school. how donow it didn't happen at school? ya'll picked him up.

>> you used the same excuses before. >> same story, different day. this is why we can't get anything solved. you k >> no. the reason why we can't get anything solved is because you don't know how to co-parent and you alienate me from my son. >> you lost custody for alienation. >> no, i didn't. didn't you just say in the previous that we lost -- i lost custody because you thought i was moving to pennsylvania? i never told you i was moving to pennsylvania. >> dr. phil: the issues seem to be parental alienation and neglect. >> right. because of the flea bites and all that. the thing is there's no dates or times on any of the photos that they presented to the court. >> dr. phil: why did the court rule against you? >> my attorney was stunned. i talked to several other people, other attorneys handed y case, whatever. they all tell me the same thing. something doesn't sound right. just bug bites and -- them m

>> the father was able to gain custody from a mother. that's a very rare occurrence. >> it is but not when -- >> dr. phil: so you say there was a conspiracy. the fix was in. his attorney has a lot of pull and -- >> yes. >> dr. phil: this was so bad that they ordered you to pay their attorney fees. >> uh-huh. >> dr. phil: not only did they rule against you, but they said it was so egregious that you've been ordered to pay their at fees. >> uh-huh. >> dr. phil: you think all of that is because the fix was in? >> right. torney >> dr. phil: this is corrupt. >> i do. >> dr. phil: you don't think it had anything to do with the fact that your son was covered up in insect bites? >> uh-huh. >> dr. phil: were you aware of this? >> he sent me a picture of it on my phone. he did.>> dr. phil: were you awr son was in this condition? >> no.

>> dr. phil: how can you not be aware your son is in this condition? >> because he's not with me. he was with them the maj of the time. like i said, there's no dates and times of this. there's no telling when this event happened. that's when my attorney was telling the judge.ority there's no way this could happen in a short period of time when he was with me and not with them. >> dr. phil: it was documented he court records that he was at school with dried feces in his pants. >> yeah. that's what i'm saying. how did we know it didn't happen at school?in t why does it always have to happen because he just left my house? how did we know -- >> dr. phil: it was dried. >> i don't know. >> dr. phil: but you think this is because the judge is corrupt. >> uh-huh. >> dr. phil: coming up -- [laughter] eddie and ashley say melissa's husband, david, shouldn't be around their son. they say the 9-year-old is scared of because he's a bad man. we're going to add him to this conversation when we come back.

[applause]david >> ashley gets pleasure from hurting my wife. ashley needs to stop trying to be his mother. back off. >> dr. phil: the last time we saw nicholas brendan, walked off the staff in a huff. >> announcer: now he's back. >> dr. phil: will he look me in the eye and answer my questions? we'll see. you hee arrested just recently. you were drunk at the time. >> i was inebriated, yes. >> police say a woman told them that nichola wer brendan took h car keys and started choking her. >> dr. phil: did you obstruct her breathing? >> no. >> dr. phil: it's been the sixth time you've beens arrested. >> announcer: his downward spiral -- >> dr. phil: says you passed out, urinated on yourself. >> when you wake up in jail and not sure why you there, it's a lonely feeling. >> announcer: the voice mail he

left a dr. phil producer. >> please help me. please help 'reme. >> dr. phil: what were you feeling at that moment? >> hopeless probably. afraid. >> announcer: the reported suicide attempt. >> dr. phil: did you want to die that day? >> i looked at my life and thought how things could have been >> melissa's husband, david, has had a couple of issues with the

police in his past. >> melissa's husband is a convicted felon. he has been charged with burglary and robbery. david was incarcerated formulti. >> david's past doesn't show me that he is the type of role model that my son should be around. >> david and melissa have gotten in multiple physical fights. >> there's police records. >> my stepson said he saw david throw a bottle at melissa's head. very aggressive man. >> david admits that he's a convicted felon that served time for burglary and robbery but insists he's a changed man. ashley disagrees and says he's threatened her after she confronted him when melissa allowed eddie's son to call david daddy. >> ashley and eddie are doing their best to keep melissa as far away from her kid as humanly possible. ashley gets pleasure from hurting my wife. ashley needs to stop trying to

be his mother. she's a stepmother. back off. when he calls me daddy, in my heart, he's mine. i'm not his dad. he has a dad. i'm the one that he comes to and not being judged because he's crying. melissa is a wonderfuln. the best mother i have ever seen. he's not the same kid he used to be. he doesn't seem to care anymoreo >> dr. phil: thank you for joining us. what do you think is going on here? >> she's getting railroaded. >> dr. phil: you think she's being railroaded? >> by these two. every time -- i wasn't around a lot during the baseball and a lot of times. eddie is the biggest coward i ever met in my life. >> woo! >> never said he was a smart man. >> oh, my lord mercy. >> dr. phil: how is he a coward? >> they'll gang up on melissa

when there's nobody around to be a witness. when i'm around, there's no real confrontation. >> when have i ganged up on melissa? >> every time i'm not around. every time at a ball game. >> is that when -- >> did you see how he just used me like that? you, like everything is aggressive with this man. >> once we had a conversation on your front porch of your old house. very calm, positive conversation. i was never aggressive to you. you were never aggressive to me. we were able to have an adult conversation. >> why can't you have an adult conversation with my wife? >> you know why i can't?she can. >> exactly. >> if you watch the video, i'm trying to have an adult conversation while she's being aggressive and yelling and screaming. >> the video i see has this one in the background. >> dr. phil: can i jump in here a second? absolutely. >> it's your show. >> dr. phil: i have to tell you, i did not allow this story to be

booked on the show because i >> so the four of ya'll to start playing bridge. >> i don't want to play that game. >> dr. phil: because i could wad care less whether you four get along other than there's a child in the middle of this. >> right. >> dr. phil: and the child is payi price for this. >> absolutely. >> right. >> dr. phil: i'm not going to play this whole video because ie is just -- oh, my god. it.l give you some snippets of this is at a little league baseball practice. so listen, little baseball practice. let me tell you what that means. that means this is about the children. but here's what happened.league >> i'm going to video this because she's crazy. >> i'm crazy? you're the one with red hair. >> you're trying to be me. >> i'm not. >> you're trying to be me? >> i'm not. >> hysterical. why did you dye your hair red? >> i did not dye my hair red. >> you need to support --

>> you're dress is about to rip at the seams. >> dr. phil: okay. just out of frame are the children! this is a baseball practice for children. but no, we got to get over to the side and bicker about the color of someone's hair. are you kidding me? [applause] we have another video clip. play the other video clip about punching in the face. >> you should be punched in the face for how you acted. >> i'm going to ask go ask her mom if she thinks she should punch me in the face. see how that goes. >> go right ahead. david was there. >> i'll ask because nobody on this team is mature enough to say something like that. >> you cause problems by running your mouth.

>> dr. phil: what are you two doing? >> it's hard. >> dr. phil: you're behind the camera and you're going for it like jesse went for the train. i mean, just like oh, here it comes. i'll take this bait. come on. >> it's difficult when you get really worked up and upset. the worst does come out in you. that is terrible. you're right. >> dr. phil: yeah, i know. but i -- [applause] >> it's difficult to try to work with her in all of her life. >> dr. phil: you two should go thelma and louise and just haul ass, the two of you. [applause] i pulled a quote from one of these four. we'll play a little guessing game next. we'll be right back. [applause] >> dr. you're coming across as jealous and irrational and unstable. they're getting findings against you for parental alienation. you're losing badly. phil:

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[applause] >> dr. phil: i have a question for you here. >> uh-huh. >> dr. phi mentioned blackout anger. where you get to a point where you're not even sure what happened afterl: you >> right.

>> dr. phil: you said, i got to a point where everything just kind of goes white and -- >> right. that. >> dr. phil: and then later i kind of come back in to focus and i don't know what happened between that point and this point. >> right. >> dr. phil: in th just a blur. >> right. >> dr. phil: would you agree that's not good?ere is >> yes, that i got that angry, yes. or that upset. because it happened when i get -- it happened when my dad died, too. dr. phil: and would you think that's dangerous? for you and others? >> yeah. i mean, i've never done it >> before. except for twice. so -- [laughter] i don't know. hopefully nothing bad happens. >> dr. phil: yeah.

but when you're -- you don't know what's going on. you could fall down, you could pick something up and hit somebody in the head with it. >> right. >> dr. phil: you could do any number of things. >> correct. >> dr. phil: so that would suggest toat you suggest to yourself, you know what? i'm letting myself get way too worked up here. >> right. >> dr. phil: and you're never more vulnerable -- you're always at your weakest when you're angry. >> yes. me th >> dr. phil: because you do lose control. that's bad for you and unbecoming to you. you may think this court thing is a setup, that you're corrupt, that this is a big game but you're losing the game. you're coming across as jealous, irrational and unstable. they're getting findings against you for parental alienation and neglect. so much so, you have to pay their attorney fees.

it's so bad that they shouldn't have to be there and so they'll award attorney fees. the most egregious finding that you can get. so whatever it is -- whether you think it's a game or a setup or whatever, you're losing badly. >> right. >> dr. phil: that means you have to change the way you're playi the game. >> right. >> dr. phil: right or wrong, fair or unfair. you hear what i'm saying? >> yes, sir. >> dr. phil: the next stop on the subway is the termination of your parental rights. that's the only thing that hasn't happened to you, right? >> right. >> dr. phil: that's the next thing they can do, terminate your rights so you have no access to the child whatsoever. you're on a collision course with that result if you don't change what you're doing. i'm going to read a quote. we did field interviews with all four of you. i pulled a quote from one of these four. i wonder if you guess who said it. "this is not about us. this isn't about us. this is about a 9-year-old boy.

he's completely torn. that boy needs his mom and dad more than anybody in this world." who said that? the mom, the dad? who said it? that was david. it was david who said that. [applause] >> this isn't about us. bout a 9-year-old boy. he's completely torn. that boy needs his mom and his dad more than anybody in this world.it a >> dr. phil: the one ashley calls the bad man. this is the convicted felon, the bad guy who by the way was pardoned, completely pardoned by the state of georgia. [applause] in an interest of full disclosure, i thought i would throw that tidbit in there. >> thank you. >> dr. phil: notice he didn't say, you need to get rid of this cowardly son of a bitch. he said he needs his dad. he needs his dad in his life.

when he was talking to us, nobody else around, he said he needs his mother and his dad in his life. just so you know. >> i appreciate that. >> dr. phil: we're going to take a break. when we come i'm going to show these parents how their child's behavior is no laughing matter. back, how much longer can this go on before their action causes severe reactions in a child that all of them love. and i do believe that. i think you love your son. i think you certainly love this child. i think everybody the best for this young boy. but i'm going to tell you what will happen if somebody doesn't change. we'll be right back. [applause]wants >> dr. phil: police are called to the school over who picks up. he's standing there. parents here, parents there. cops there. >> announcer: tomorrow on an all-new "dr. phil." >> he hears voices telling him to kill people. >> announcer: terrorized. >> we sleep locked in the

bedroom. >> announcer: by their 13-year-old son. >> dr. phil: are you abandoning after a dod clot.on my mind when i got out of the hospital what about my family? my li'l buddy? and what if this happened again? i was given warfarin in the hospital vt bloi wondered if this was th right treatment for me. then my doctor told me about eliquis. eliquis treats dvt and pe blood clots and reduces the risk of them happening again. but not only does eliquis treat dvt and pe blood clots, but eliquis also had significantly less had both... major bleeding than the standard treatment.knows turned around my thinking. don't stop eliquis unless your doctor tells you to. eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. don't take eliquis i have eliquis can cause serious and inan articial heart valve ng.

or abnormal bleeding. if you had a spinal injection while on eliquis call your doctor right away if you have tingling, f you ness, or muscle weakness. while taking eliquis, you may bruise more easily... and it may take longer than usual for bleeding to stop. seek immediate medical care for sudden signs of bleeding, numbnusual bruising. eliquis may increase your bleeding risk if you take certain medicines. tell your doctor about all planned medical or dental procedures. eliquis treats dvt & pe blood clots.liu plus had less major bleeding. both made switching to eliquis right for me. ask your doctor if it's right for you. your loving touch stimulates his senses and nurtures his mind. the johnson's scent, lather, and bubbles help enhance the experience. so why just clean your baby, when you can give him so much more?

[applause] >> dr. phil: as we've seen here today, divorce and custody battles affect everyone. they really do. in particular, the innocent child caught in the . and you know, i want everybody to listen to what i'm getting ready to say, pamiddlearly you four. but divorce is a prominent reality in our society.rticul everybody says that we have a 50% divorce rate in america. truth is that is not correct.

the divorce rate is somewhere in 's anywhere between 34.6% and 38%. if it's a second marriage, it ju it into the high 50s, close to 60. third marriage, you get about a 70% divorce rate. but it is a prominent reality ip a lot of kids' lives. you know, i've kind of put together a time line of what has happened in this young man's life. you know, he's born in 06. and then at age 2, there is divorce. melissa and eddie divorce. so at this point, his world is rocked. okay? and then at age 4 or 5, he's now a little boy, and neglect and alienation is reported. so we start having problems. and then in 2012, custody case number 1 takes place. so we've got this tug of war going on. okay?

also in 2012 there is a change of custody here. ere's a change of custody. okay? then in 2013, we've got this ballpark incident that we've talked about. i just pick some things out of his life that have gone on. th also in 2013, police are called to the school over who picks up, who doesn't pick up. cops are there though. he's standere. cops are there. parents here, parents there. cops there. okay? then we get custody case number 2.ing th and we have these text messages going pack and forth. please don't talk to him about these court cases. well, i'm going to tell him what i want to tell him. well, the court says don't talk to him about it. well, i always tell the truth. okay. so he's being dragged through this. okay? then we have to go back to the ballpark.

more incidencehe ballpark. make sure he knows that everything is not going well.s t and then in 2015, we find out we have to retake third grade. okay? let me tell you what happens to children that live in contentious divorce. i wrote it down.i didn't want t. when these children go through contentious divorce, they have appreciably lower math skills, they appreciably lower social development. they have appreciably lower achievement in college. they'righer risk for anxiety, stress, low self-esteem and they have a higher frequench

of health problems. if they get married, they have a two times higher divorce rate, and it's already very high. if they marry someone that is also from a divorced home, they have a three time higher divorce rate. shorter life span. which means it's eroding their overall constitutional strength going through all of this stuff. the kids that get caught in the middle of all of this are paying the price. you can yell, you can go get nana and you can get into all of this stuff, but you know who is right in dead middle of all of this right here? it's this boy.

and he's paying the price foyou. [applause]r ya'll are violating every single rule. time to stop. >> do you need dr. phil's help? text "phil" to 88500 and share your story for a chance to appear on the show. standard data and message rates may apply. woman: my mom and i have the same hands. same eyes. same laugh. and since she's had moderate alzheimer's disease, i've discovered we have the same fighting spirit, too. that's why i asked her doctor about new once-a-day namzaric™. vo: new namzaric is approved for mo to severe alzheimer's disease in patients who are currently taking, and can continue to take certain doses of both namenda and donepezil. new namzaric is the first and only treatment to combine 2 proven alzheimer's medicines into a single once-a-day capsule

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>> if you're going to go in the los angeles and and you'd like free tickets, go to drphil.com and click on be in the audience. >> or you can call 323-461-phil. >> dr. phil: kids have a personal truth. they have what they believe about themselves. and they go to school and compare that to the other kids' social mask. the other kids may be from as volatile situation as they are, but they wear a social mask. so your kid is damaged inside

and he compares it to the other kid's social mask and thinks he's lesser than. he has the damaged personal truth. he feels like a second class citizen. the problem is, you te the results in life you think you deserve. the fallout from this is really very clear.genera what they live as a product of this is astounding. the mistakes that people mak divorce is that the kids have to live like every event is a pressure cooker.e in everything they go through, just builds up on them time and time again. what do you think a birthday party is like for them? >> we do it also. >> dr. phil: of course you do. what do you think they feel like if it's christmas time and they go be with one of you versus the other? they feel they're betraying one to be with the other. the biggest most frequent mistakes in a divorce and marriage, they're very traditional.

the biggest mistakes you can make is sabo you use a child as a pawn. you use him to get back at your partner.tage. you use a child for information or to manipulate your ex. you transfer your feelings on to them. you force them to choose sides. family events become pressure cookers. you use them for companionship. you treat the child as an adult. you become too emotionally need you overindulge because you feel guilty. you baby them. oh, it'sy. okay, baby. that's the last thing they need. i have two rules with children. you never ever burden them with situations they cannot control. th adult issues.sk them to deal ya'll are violating every single rule. he's paying the price for it.

wi it's time to stop. it's time to stop. it's time to stop running your own agenda. if you're in a divorce situation at home, you have to grade your own paper. it's time to start running your. it's time to start being a fiduciary for your child or your children and put their interest ahead of your own. it's time to stop venting. they have needs. and those needs become exaggerated. they need to feel acceptance. they need to feel assurance. they need to feel freedom of guilt or blame for the divorce. they need structure. they need a stable parent who has the strength to conduct the business of the family. they just need to let them be kids. this is all research. it's very, very powerful how you

can change things and just change these kids. my next and final thoughts for this fractured family when we come back. you can bet i'm going to put verbs in my sentences. we'll be right back. [applause] abdominal pain? bloating? you may have ibs. ask your doctor if new, non-prescription ibgard is right for you. ibgard calms the angry gut. available at cvs and walgreens. kohlfeaturing black fridayy at doorbusters in store only! like a $99.99 tv $14.99 action figures. and the fitbit charge - $89.99. plus - get $15 kohl's cash! only at kohl plan well and enjoy life... ♪ or, as we say at unitedhealthcare insurance company, 's! long. consider an aarp medicare supplement insurance plan insured by unitedhealthcare

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>> dr. pant to get something off your chest? sign up for the drphil.com community and weigh-in on your favorite episodes and share your personal stories with other community members.hil: wplus, g blog to share your thoughts on the topics that interest you most. i'll be reading those message boards. log on to drphil.com today! >> dr. phil: what can you two do to improve this situation? >> i would like for her to just acknowledge that i am -- >> dr. phil: i didn't ask you what she could do. i asked you what you could do. >> that's how we start. she starts yelling at me. >> dr. phil: oh, my god. what can you do since you're the only person that you can control? >> just don't get upset and be

supportive. i'm sorry. i just -- i think what i've been doing is very positive. i think it just gets out of control when there's conflict. >> dr. phil: i think you're well-intended, but you lack an rtant ingredient. that's insight. i want you to watch this show when you get home. >> okay. >> dr. phil: i want you the impo watch it two or three times. the first time you watch it, you're going -- you'll see certain things and the second time you watch it you'll see other things. about the third time you watch it, you'll go holy [bleep]. [applause] i get it. you're going to say it on the first time. [laughter] you're going to say it and you know why you're going to say it? you're going to go i get it. i get it. because you knt?

you don't have to react. >> yes, sir. ow wha >> dr. phil: one log won't burn. >> yes, sir. >> dr. phil: just choose not to react. >> okay. >> dr. phil: that's the same thing you need. look, this is your child. all of this child's life he will never have another mother. [applause] he will never have anothermothe. and you need to be the best mother that you can be. i'm ready to bring whatever resources i can to create a co-parenting plan here really help everybody come up with some conflict resolution things. really where this young man can come in to the presence of all four of you and know, there's peace and harmony. they all love me.

what a great feeling that is for a child to know that everybody loves him. let's make that our goal to give that to this boy. can we do that? [applause] and i hope you make that your goal at home. you can join the conversation now. you can follow me on twitter at "dr. phil" or visit my facebook or instagram page. don't forget to use #drphil and weto hear from you. are you or someone you know locked in a bitter tug of war over a child? if so, go to drphil.com and tell me about it. want i care about these kids. i want to stop this erosion of the family and putting these kids in the middle. i want to thank all of my guests for being here today. be the hero here. thanks for being here. so long. [applause]

the six-day pilgrimage is his first visit to africa. allen pizzey reports. ♪ >> reporter: the traditional african welcome is a joyous reflection of how pope francis' message is being received. the kenyan newspaper summed it up as, our politicians could learn a thing or two from him.

on his first trip to africa, francis urged kenyans to help bridge the increasingly violent divisions between muslims and christians. all too often, he said, young people are being radicalized in the name of religion to sow discord and fear. kenya suffered at the hands of islamic extreme uss when the el shabab militia slaughtered 147 mainly christian students at the university earlier this year, and killed 67 people in an attack on a shopping mall in 2013. he called the attacks barbarous. en and said god's name must never be used to justify hatred and violence. there are fears that the pope himself could be a prime target and some 10,000 police and army troops are on duty. pope francis is also using this trip to push his message of concern for the environment. but in a region racked by ethnic and interreligious violence, it is inevitably his calls for peace and reconciliation that strike the most vibrant chord. allen pizzey, cbs news, nairobi.