not caused by a heart valve problem. for people with afib currently well managed on warfarin, there's limited information on how xarelto® and warfarin compare in reducing the risk of stroke. you know, i tried warfarin, but the blood testing and dietary restrictions... don't get me started on that. i didn't have to. we started on xarelto®. nice pass. safety first. like all blood thinners, don't stop taking xarelto® without talking to your doctor, as this may increase your risk of a blood clot or stroke. while taking, you may bruise more easily and it may take longer for bleeding to stop. xarelto® may increase your risk of bleeding if you take certain medicines. xarelto® can cause serious, and in rare cases, fatal bleeding. get help right away for unexpected bleeding, unusual bruising, or tingling. if you have had spinal anesthesia while on xarelto®, watch for back pain or any nerve or muscle related signs or symptoms. do not take xarelto® if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. tell your doctor before all planned medical or dental procedures. before starting xarelto®, tell your doctor about any kidney, liver, or bleeding problems. you know xarelto® is the #1 prescribed blood thinner in its class. that's a big win.

it is for me. with xarelto® there is no regular blood monitoring and no known dietary restrictions. treatment with xarelto®... ...was the right move for us. ask your doctor about xarelto®. no other scents feel like glade. melt your mood with our hawaiian breeze fragrance. feel relaxed, feel glade. don'go see my big fatake windowgreek wedding 2clear! and learn how to use windex the right way on weird stuff! not on windows! who's got tickets? i do! i'm okay! (hip hop beat) - alright, welcome back to comics unleashed hot chocolate. - byron, i got to ask you, do you remember how basketball players used to dress back in the day? (audience laughing) i swear to god these dudes used to play ball in panties.

(audience laughing) they showed this one play with dr. j was dunking on magic johnson like this. the shorts were so short he had one ball hanging out the bottom. (audience laughing and applauding) - now what's this, you're collecting sports memorabilia? - i collect shoes and i collect jerseys. do you remember when the throwback jersey thing got real big? - [byron] yeah. - everybody's buying throwbacks? - [byon] yes. - it pissed me off because i could always tell fake throwback jerseys. all you gotta do, you see it's the wrong city and the wrong color. (audience laughing) i walked in the club and saw a dude with a 1985 laker's magic jackson jersey. (audience laughing) i was like, "magic jackson, what team did he play for?" this boy had a charles broccoli jersey on. philadelphia 56'ers, i'm like, "56'ers?" (audience laughing) what team was that? - you look great, you've been shopping, i can see.

- thank you, oh yes, i'm not ashamed of it. i know women nowadays, all the feminists, they like, "don't say that, it makes us," no, i don't care, we like to shop, that's how we are. i don't even like feminists anyway. they messed it up for us, didn't they, ladies? didn't they? (audience cheering) hello. we deserve a second meeting on some of this stuff, don't we? they went around burning bras, picketing and stuff. you know, "whoo hoo, women's rights, "we want to work as hard as men do." no the hell we don't. (audience laughing) right? right? - how many kids do you have? - i have one, as a father i try to teach him stuff. know what works good with your kids? duct tape. (audience laughing) if you want your child to stay still, duct tape will make him stay still. look at the parents, "i'ma use that." anytime he gettin' out of line all you do is pull the duct tape out go, and he sits right the hell down. (audience laughing) - [byron] that's it? - yeah, because i know wherever i leave him he gonna be there when i get back. (audience laughing) - i don't like it when other people want you to enjoy their kids.

when they bring their kids by, because everybody's kid's the greatest. - you know what's so funny about that? like you said, jimmy, you always talkin' about how people that big up their children. "oh, he's the greatest, he's five years old "and he's already in calculus." you know what i mean? you never really hear people tell the real truth. "look at my baby, he's so stupid." (audience laughing) that fool is 12 years old, he don't even know two times two. (audience laughing) what's your name, what's your name? your name is not yellow! (audience laughing) you stupid, just like your daddy! (audience laughing) - [byron] jimmy, you still living alone? - i have to live alone, i am the worst person to ever live with, i could never live with anybody. i can't be involved, i can't do any of that stuff. i'm just the opposite of what everybody says is the right thing. i love meat, i don't mind cigarette smoke. i don't want kids, i don't want to be monogamous.

i don't want anything that say "what is wrong with me?" (audience laughing) it's all those things, i'm totally against. i guess i'm going to start the church of jimmy "jj" walker (audience cheering and applauding) just for people who are low lifes like myself, man. all of my friends who were married are divorced. i don't know anybody that is married. i know everybody that is married is unhappy. (audience laughing) let me tell you something, if you could say to most people, "look here, you can be divorced, "you can live in your same house, you can keep your money, "keep your car, be down at city hall by 5:00 in the morning, there will be a stampede! i'm telling you right now, this is an interesting thing. the country has gone so crazy now it's tough to sell a house nowdays, you guys know that.

so now divorces are 65% of this country. first thing they tell you to do when you get a divorce, sell the house. people can't sell their houses, so you got people that hate each other living with each other. let me tell you, interest rates better go down or murder rates are going up, i'll tell you that right now. (audience laughing) - alright, we're going to take a break, we'll be right back, don't go away. - [voiceover] for more laughs, visit comicsunleashed.com. closed captioning brought to you by (fast-paced music) proteact® advanced against plaque. with plaque guard™ helps prevent plaque and gingivitis, kills 99% of bacteria for a 12 hour shield of protection. act® advanced. muddling through your morning is nothing new.

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viral? i wanna go viral. we're going to have to buy more shampoo. no, we got to get another kid. i know... no. going viral? get scrubbing bubbles. clean and disinfect. honey, 20,000 views. what? oh, it looks so clean in here. we work hard so you don't have to. sc johnson a family company. (hip hop beat) - alright, welcome back to comics unleashed hot chocolate. so you grew up here in l.a., which one, clippers or lakers? - i'm a lakers fan, born and raised. l.a. right? (audience cheering and applauding) but if there's anybody in this building right now that was born and raised in l.a. in the 80's, early 90's, you'll remember the clippers were the worst, they were voted the worst sports franchise in all of sports. (audience laughing) the clippers were abso -- i'm gonna give you a little sports, i'm a give you a little l.a. history on the clippers. the clippers at one time, they were like the only team

in the league without a shoe contract. (audience laughing) i'll never forget when ron harper played on the clippers, i went to a clipper game once and he was in the fox hills mall at foot locker buying shoes before the game. (audience laughing) with me! i'm like, "dude, i'm about to go to your game." he be like, "yeah, i'm gonna need some size 12's "so i can get on down to the coliseum "so i could play this game." it was so bad at one time the clippers, back in the day the lakers had all the stars at their games. dyan cannon and michael jackson and steven spielberg used to be at all the laker games. you remember that, right? during the magic johnson and kareem abdul-jabbar days? you go to a clipper game, you see like the cast of "that's my momma." (audience laughing) you see like marlon jackson and todd bridges in the front row. (audience laughing) it was so bad, anybody remember the old sports arena? - [audience] yeah. - it was in such bad condition, i'll never forget, i went to a game once and it was raining real hard that night and once side of the floor was flooded.

they played a pro half-court game. (audience laughing) i paid $65 that night to see some brothers play "horse." (audience laughing) - tess, what's the worst breakup you've had? - oh god, the worst breakup. i think this, yeah, the dude left me just a note on the bathroom mirror, "die bitch, die," i think that was. (audience laughing) - the girl wants you to go out with her, she'll give you the sign. she'll just go "hey!" (audience laughing) she'll give you the quick sign, but if they don't want you to go out, it's like, that's it, done. - know what works when you're pursuing a woman? duct tape. (audience laughing) oh, you don't wanna go out, baby. (audience laughing) whether she wants to or not. - it's where you threatnin' to put the tape, though. (audience laughing) - some women pay for that. - [tess] exactly, that's what i'm saying,

it depends on where you want to place the tape. you might save us a trip to the wax, but i'm just saying. (audience laughing) maybe, maybe, maybe, i'm just saying. you workin' together, but it's true about women. we know in the first like, what, two or three minutes when you meet a guy if you interested. seconds, oh they say seconds. i give 'em a little chance to talk. they like "seconds," but yeah, we do. we know right in the beginning if we gonna sleep with you. it's automatic, we look at you, we sum you up. and then you can talk all night, blah, blah, blah, we ain't listenin' to nothin' we just thinkin, "yeah, "if you ever stop talking." if you ever stop talking, it's true, we do. - men think that, too, men think that about women. if she ever stop talkin'. (audience laughing) - well see, there you go. - [byron] we gotta go back to primitive days, people don't say anything, we just grunt. (grunting) (audience laughing) - i gotta ask you, do women really, you've always heard about women looking at men's shoe size, is that true? - yes, we do, we look at your shoe size,

we look at your hands. - [alex] what does that tell you? - if you have a small shoe, we tend to think, you know, you might be lacking in some areas, but it's not always true. and then we also look at the hands, because the hands and the feet go together. - so let me ask you this-- - [tess] if you got a nice size hand and you got small feet, they might still be like, "i'm gonna take a chance." (audience laughing) - so let me ask you, i'm 5'6" and i wear a size 17 shoe. (audience laughing) what does that say to you as a woman? - (laughing) you are a liar! (audience laughing) we gonna take a break, we'll be right back. don't go away. - [voiceover] for more laughs, visit comicsunleashed.com. closed captioning brought to you by you've got a 1 in 4 chance ofame winningnald's,

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♪ accident-free ♪ everybody put your flaps in the air for me ♪ i can't lip-synch in these conditions. ♪ savings ♪ oh, yeah (audience cheering and applauding) - alright, welcome back to comics unleashed hot chocolate. so how they treatin' you at the airport? - how they treatin' me at the airport? like they treat brothers all the time. you know what i'm sayin? i get it everywhere. i really wasn't trippin', and like most black folks, weren't trippin' off all that terrorist stuff. - [stang] not at all. - until they tried to say we can't bring lotion on the plane. (audience laughing) we all know black folks, we need our lotion. (audience laughing) - [stang] even me! - am i right, black people? (audience cheering and applauding) when they tried to say a brother can't bring cocoa butter (audience laughing) or lotion on the plane, i turned into a white person and wrote a letter.

(audience laughing) i'ma turn into a terrorist if i'ma be ashy on the plane. (audience laughing) my thing is, though, i just get a lot of stupid stuff in first class on the plane, you know. other people, you know who i'm talking about, they're very curious when they see a hip hop looking brother like me sitting in first class. i just get this the whole time. like, say shang, you're me, you're me. you just look forward, and i get this the whole time. (audience laughing) so i get this question all the time. so, did you guys win last night? (audience laughing) i'm like, first of all, i'm 5'6", 165 pounds. (audience laughing) the kicker on the chargers is bigger than me. the hell you think, i play football? i look at 'em, be like, man, i sell cocaine.

(audience laughing) i got drugs under this plane. sshh. (audience laughing) don't tell nobody! - [tess] i get the same thing. - you get the same thing, what do you get? - i get the same thing that looks like that but they automatically think i 'm a singer. now come on, look at me, don't i look like i could sing? every black woman that's halfway overweight they think, "ooh, you can sing!" (audience laughing) no, i can't. they do, they always think i'm a singer. you get this, "i love your music." (audience laughing) honey, look, patti labelle. (audience laughing) - angie stone, queen latifah, i get 'em all. - [byron] you get 'em all? - i get 'em all, angie stone, queen latifah, kelly price before she went real skinny, oh yeah. i got all of 'em. - [jimmy] fantasia. they think you can't read either. they always do, they think i can sing. they're like, "sing a little something." this really old white lady asked me one time could i sing "happy birthday" to her on the plane because she just knew i had to be a singer

because i was in first class, and i cannot sing a lick. - i just need to know, are there any americans working in security? i have never, i mean there's people from every country but america in u.s. security. people who cannot speak, (accented) put their bag on the conveyor belt and the security people here, turn the thing over. jose, what the hell's going on here? there's not an american that works in security. this is an amazing thing, and there's no set rules. there's liquids, people throwing away tons of water. i think those guys go in there, recycle that water, sell that water, make money on that doggone thing for the government, just recycled water and bic lighters, too, they got tons of those. they got bic lighters and they got all sorts of hair products and nail clippers they sellin' on ebay for everybody, you can pick 'em up. but there's not an american that works there, nobody cares, they don't know who you are.

you gotta take out your id, you go, "i want to see your id, where are you from? "what country did you come from? "who let you in?" (audience laughing) - you know, jimmy "jj" walker for president, y'all. (audience cheering and applauding) - i heard you had like a whole presidential campaign. you thinkin' about running. - i have a couple things, i think we should legalize marijuana, i think we should legalize marijuana. (audience cheering and applauding) look at all, look at the crowd. you are in! all the brothers, "you gonna win, dawg, you gonna win." and i think we should make the minimum wage go higher. (audience applauding) but i think we should have, for strippers, we should have to tip and go lower. (audience laughing) - [byron] shang for president! (audience laughing) give him a round of applause. (audience applauding)

well, i had a lot of fun, thank you for joining us. i want to thank you as well, until next time, keep laughing, thank you! (audience cheering and applauding) (fast-paced music)

- [voiceover] this has been a production of entertainmentstudios.com.

>> announcer: the following is a paid presentation for the nick vertucci real estate academy's "fortunes in flipping" system. if you're looking to make money while taking control of your

financial future, then listen up. nick vertucci, self-made millionaire, has a life-changing opportunity for you. as the host of l.a.'s number-one real-estate radio show, author, and one of tv's most trusted real-estate investment experts, nick is hosting a unique, free two-hour workshop, teaching people like you how to build wealth in today's real-estate market. you'll learn how to flip and hold income-generating properties. whether you have great credit, no credit, lots of money, or little to no money, nick's system can work for you. nick and his power team of real-estate experts are looking to work with a select group of motivated individuals in your area. so, if you're looking to start a career in real estate, or if you're already working in real estate, then this is your chance to learn how to get in, get out, and get paid using nick's easy three-step system. nick's "fortunes in flipping" system has created some of the newest and most successful

real-estate entrepreneurs today. they're making money while changing their financial future for themselves and those they love, and now so can you. so if you're tired of the daily grind that never seems to get you ahead, stay tuned, because in the next 30 minutes, nick is going to show you how to create the life you've always wanted, right there in your own backyard. >> are you tired of depending on a job where you live paycheck to paycheck? do you want to increase your income while enjoying the quality time with your family and friends? or maybe you're just tired of having small returns on investments like your 401(k) and your iras. if so, stay right here, because i'm gonna show you how you can have all of that and more in a career in real estate. guys, i want to introduce you to someone. an amazing testimony. one of my students -- his name is ryan -- i came out to his house to talk to him personally because he's accomplished something really cool. and, ryan, on this particular

deal that you did here in california, you made over $100,000 on a transaction. >> $200,000. >> well, right. very good point. i love when they correct me up. $200,000. your share was over $100,000 'cause you had a partner. >> yes. >> and he looks over to his check. >> $102,000, to be exact. >> $102,000. >> yes. >> $102,000 on one flip. >> hi, i'm kevin harrington, one of the original sharks from that hit tv show with all the sharks. i'm here to tell you about nick vertucci, and i'm putting my name on his brand because i believe in what nick is doing. he is revolutionizing the real-estate investing industry. he's transforming students' lives, and i've seen it in action. >> announcer: with only a k-through-12 education, nick has flipped hundreds of properties all across the nation, making him a multimillionaire. in the next 30 minutes, you will hear about what it really takes to make money in today's

real-estate market. so, get ready, because you are about to get a dose of reality, not reality tv. >> hello, everyone. i'm sabrina reese. i'm here today in the home of nick and gina vertucci. nick is a retired police officer, served his community, and now has become an expert in real-estate investing. over the last 10 years, nick has made millions in flipping houses and holding rental properties all across the country. nick and his lovely wife, gina, have invited me into their gorgeous home so they can tell us how to make millions using his proven system that allows almost anyone to become a real-estate investor without any prior experience, even if you have no credit or little to no money. nick, we've heard you on the radio and we've read about you on the internet and also read about you in print. you've been traveling all over the country, sharing your system and techniques. how would someone like myself get involved in real-estate investing? >> really simple. it's like this.

i'm a product of this system, which means i took action. i went and got trained in real estate, and for 10 years, i worked my way through to get to where i am now financially, and being able to create this academy. and my vision is to give that back to students just like me, whether they're in a great financial position and just want to be better or they're in a position that i was in when i went through that was kind of dire straights. it's about putting in the hands of another student like myself 10 years ago, and to be able to give them the ability to go do what i've done, or any version of that, because if you put in 2 hours a week or 40 hours a week, that's what you're gonna get out of it. if you come to the two-hour event and that's all you do, you're gonna get information that you for sure don't know about. majority of the people that come through don't. and we give you some gifts, and it's a great experience and i got great team members that are on the same page as me. there's nothing to lose, and if you want to invest in your future and you want to better and leave a legacy, you got to take action.

when people do take action and they feel they have something that they want to better their life and they call this number and they register for my event, i am gonna take them through a process that i know, because of the success we're having with our students, that will allow them the same opportunity that i had, but at a level that i don't think anyone's ever seen before. guys, i'm taking you on a little ride now. this is a neighborhood that i personally have four properties under contract. this is a secret little cherry patch in a market that is booming right now. it's a secret hyper market. and we're driving around this market, and i'll tell you what. most folks, if you were driving in this market right now and didn't have the knowledge that i have in real estate, you would not understand the potential that's right here in this neighborhood. look at some of these houses. they don't look like much, but i'm gonna show you, through my step-by-step, line-by-line system, how you're gonna be able to, in your market, find little secret hyper cherry patches like this that you can go out there and create revenue from flipping properties -yw