here when we come back. in buttes and now we're introducing free pancakes for kids. who's crazy idea was this? well, we're pretty sure we know who. for a limited time, kids get our new pancakes in any of these flavors, free. when you ache and haven't you're not you. tylenol® pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. we give you a better night. you're a better you all day. tylenol®. hhi.o. welcome. this is the chevy malibu. it was awarded "most dependable midsize car" by j.d. power. it looks great. wow! what is happening? oh my gosh, it's going up! but the malibu's not the only vehicle that was awarded. this is mind blowing. the chevy camaro, equinox, and silverado hd were awarded most dependable as well. this is extremely impressive. there's so many! doing it once, yea, great job,

four times, obviously, they're doing something right. absolutely

here performing, put your hands together and get here performing her single lifted, put your hands together and get ready, it's cl. (cheers and applause) ♪ hey, you, get off my cloud ♪ you don't know me, and you

don't know my style ♪ gettin' lifted, never come down ♪ gettin' lifted, uh gettin' dumb on the drum ♪ rum-pum-pum-pum-pum better n'n, ♪ when i come, what a bomb bomb ♪ sippin' on coke and rum, gettin' so drunk ♪ everyone wonderin' where she come from? ♪ got gold on my necklace, gold on my wrists ♪ girls gettin' mad cause their boys want a kiss ♪ fast with the cash, i just irow it in the bag ♪ everything i wanna have well i think you get the gist ♪ upside downside, inside outside ♪ hittin' you from every angle there's no doubt i ♪ poetry in motion, coast to coast and ♪ rub it in your skin like lotion ♪ i got myself a 40, i got ♪ myself a shorty, and i'm about to go get lifted, yes, i'm ♪ about to go get lifted, i got myself a 40, i got ♪ myself a shorty, and i'm about to go get lifted, yes, i'm ♪ about to go get lifted, yeah

h-u-f-f, ♪ huff and i puff blow like snow ♪ when the cold wind's blowing zoom, i hit ♪ the mic like boom wrote a song about it, ♪ like to hear it? here it goes style will hit you, ♪ wham, then god( bleep ) you'll be like, ♪ "oh ( bleep ), that's the jam!" ♪ turn it up, now hear me get buck wild ♪ i'm about to blow, light me up ♪ upside downside, inside outside ♪ hittin' you from every angle there's no doubt i ♪ poetry in motion, coast to coast and ♪ rub in it your skin like 4tion ♪ i got myself a 40, i got ♪ myself a shorty, and i'm about to go get lifted, yes i'm ♪ about to go get lifted, i got myself a 40, i got ♪ myself a shorty, and i'm about to go get lifted, yes i'm ♪ about to go get lifted, yeah ♪ hey, you, get off my cloud ♪ you don't know me, and you don't know my style ♪ gettin' lifted, never come

down ♪ gettin' lifted, never come f wn ♪ hey, you, get off my cloud ♪ you don't know me, and you don't know my style ♪ gettin' lifted, never come down ♪ gettin' lifted, uh i got ♪ myself a 40, i got myself a shorty, and i'm ♪ about to go get lifted, yes i'm ♪ about to go get lifted, i got myself a 40, i got ♪ myself a shorty, and i'm about to go get lifted, yes i'm ♪ about to go get lifted, yeah (cheers and applause). >> james: that is how you do it. c.l., everybody! we'll see you next week, reggie, take us home! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh

access.wgbh.org ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

what are you doing? sfx: "burp" i'm having a small snack. gross. don't live with ants. get raid ant & roach spray. raid??? raid kills bugs dead. sc johnson shhh! laughing) what's going on? gasp! you going to shut it down? this is totally going viral. i wanna go viral. going viral? get scrubbing bubbles, clean and disinfect. 20,000 views! what? oh, it looks so clean in here. it's time for your host -- byron allen. rick kaiser. mick flores. now a man who you tivo'd so you

can skip to the commercials, byron allen! ♪ >> all right. lot going on. lot going on. a consumer watch group has put out a list of the most dangerous costumes for kids to wear on halloween. number one on the list -- a congressional page. ♪ >> all right. say hello to some very funny people. edwin san juan. rick kaiser.

crazy crazy judy wu. where you from originally? >> iscerrito. we're all from the philippines. i was made in taiwan. >> what's it like growing up in your house? >> it was rough, man, because we never had pets. our dog's name was main dish. all we had was left over. >> how about you? i understand you been listening to hip-hop. >> yeah, i try to stay up with the kids. see, i'm trying ining -- can i you "b"?

>> lot of these kids nowadays don't know anything about old school hip-hop. hip-hop was about living. now they're not saying anything. all they have is a funky ass beat. you know? and you in the club, the beaters would get you out your seat. see specially like black people. we like, ooh, shoot, okay. that's when you like, what in the hell are you talking about? >> how much platinum jewelry for your girl can you buy? how many women can you disrespect in the video? do you realize you are a grown-ass man bragging about the size of your rims and tires? and nobody finds that retarded but me? right? >> that's right. that's right. >> i mean we are living in a world where your rim and tire size determine your status as a

human being. >> i got 24 inches. i got 26s. then here i come. say look at vince, he ain't nothing, driving around on rims and tires the same size the engineers designed for the damn vehicle. getting optimum gas mileage. you know, it is about cars when they do the hip-hop stuff. i just recently became a car guy. up until recently i was a non-car guy. i had a four-door beige honda. that was my first car. loved that car. i put $8 worth of gas and go four years. and the car was brilliant, man. and i'll never forget i was driving down the street in my little four-door honda, i was proud of it and just driving down the street and eddie murphy pulls up next to me in a beautiful bentley. he was right over there. i was like hey. it's like 3:00 in the morning. we're coming home from the club.

he saw me and he pushed this button and the electric windows went -- i thought hey! and he was -- and drove off. >> i know you a long time, man. >> yeah, we're both getting older. >> by the way, your honda's still running well. i got it. >> just listening to vince, when i go to music, i stop basically in the '70s. started off with records and a needle. my first was a sears $60, turn table drops down about six inches. for stereo you had to put your head on the turn table. look at you, fashion diva. i understand you just like all in your clothes these days.

>> wait a minute! i move to my own music. i got to strap one on! >> okay, let's hear it. >> all right? ♪ i want a guy with a mobile home ♪ ♪ has an extra wide chromosome ♪ ♪ who retains water in his head ♪ ♪ who talks to me like mr. ed >> that's what i'm talking about. >> what do you think about the asian stereotype? >> asians can't drive. you know? we're smart but we can't drive. if they made the steering while like a mouse. asians can't drive but at least

we have car insurance. know what i mean? >> we got to take a break. don't go away, we'll be right back.

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all right, welcome back to "comics unleashed." you've been talking about male/female hormones. >> i'm living them. i have a daughter who became a woman. that's what her mother said, she's a woman now. i had no idea what i was in for when her mom and her linked up on the same menstrual cycle and i became trapped in a women's prison movie. men have hormones too. we can get a testosterone overload any time, women have seen this, a guy's been working out doing something, setting, in the house, testosterone overdrive. i'm going to tear this wall down, put the refrigerator there. slow down, no talk, no talk. just got to bang for awhile. man's hormones drop down, i'll just pay somebody to finish the job. >> get a sitcom. >> you know what, here's the

thing, you know what, byron, i need to be caught in a scandal. >> yeah. >> that's right. i wanted to become addicted to painkillers, you know, the problem is i'm catholic and i live for pain. you know? i still have nightmares about my eighth grade non-sister godzilla. got mad at me because i gave her a shaving mug for father's day. >> judy, you're going to hell for that. oh, good, we can car pool. hello. by the way, that's a big male fantasy, men want to see two women together, don't you? >> no, i don't. >> yes, you do! don't lie to me! guess what, we women want to see two men. that's right. we want to see two men. one to cook and one to clean. maybe if i had been more like

that monica l, maybe if i had played swallow the leader. nasty, nasty, nasty. >> been traveling, man? >> every week, road dog. >> are you really? >> yeah. >> how are they treating you at the airport? >> people want to racially profile at the airport. i'm like, hell yes. america was founded on racism. we should do what we do best when we need to do it. you know what i mean? we actually are professionals at racism. i'm in line, right, i get pulled out of line, there's a guy hovering on a piece of carpet next to me. and you take away my carmex? >> have you been traveling? >> yeah, you know, my favorite thing is they sent me on the airplane, always sit me between

a land mass and a glacier, you know? it's fine until we hit turbulence and i get smashed into a mammogram breast, you know? until i look like one of those tropical fish with an eye on each side of my head, you know, like tori spelling. daddy! oh, that's my fault now! >> i like your haircut, man. >> got the same haircut. >> there you go. >> you look good, though. >> thank you. >> black people look good with bald heads. asians, we look like buddha. you know what i mean? white people look sick. >> we're going to take a break. we'll be right back. don't go away. to find out how to be part of our studio audience, visit gold bond rough & bumpy skin therapy. used daily, it exfoliates, smoothes, softens.

reduces bumps 74%. gold bond. ultimate lotion. ultimate skin. fourteen americans killed in a san bernardino mass shooting... but after this tragedy - when pat toomey had the chance to ban suspected terrorists from buying guns - he voted against closing this loophole for terrorists - and with the gun lobby. katie: we have to do everything in our power to keep guns away from terrorists who threaten our way of life. i'm katie mcginty and i approve this message because we can't risk our families' safety on a loophole.

welcome back to "comics unleashed." what's going on, man, heard you were talking about viagra. >> you want to get some? it's everywhere. you don't need a prescription. when it first started, you need a prescription. now it's internet. what i get is, i read about that

most of the men who are taking it, like 80-year-old guys are taking of this stuff and dying of heart attacks, yet they know it, which tells you everything you need to know about men. they are saying, look, the doctor's going you can either have ten more years of life with no sex or take this viagra, have sex and maybe have a heart attack. give me the pill. >> they are going to market viagra as a soft drink, that's right. now every guy can pour himself a stiff one. >> you think racism will ever end? >> man, that's a good question. i hope so. i think human beings need to get their stuff together. i think we all need to get the stuff together as people. i don't want to preach racial harmony and love, because i don't want to get shot. >> anyone in history of man kind that's had a message of love or harmony, gone, jfk, pow, martin

luther king, pow, gandhi, jesus -- so we can ease into the ending of racism, not abruptly. i hope we can get our act together. >> what do you think about interracial relationships? >> i think it's good. i think it's good. it's important, you know what i mean? we have to learn about each other's differences and cultures. like my sister married a black guy, he's a good guy. he's a lawyer. good to have a lawyer in your family, right? i never thought that my brother-in-law would be a brother-in-law. >> what do you think about white people? >> white people, they are all white. white people are cool, they are good, until they get fired. right? then they go postal and shoot everybody. when blacks and latinos get fired, it's about time, sucka.

right? fire a white guy, i'm fired, what? i'll be back. go home, get the guns, come back, and they shoot everybody. i know because i'm filipino. a lot of filipinos work in the post office. you don't see filipinos in the news shooting people. if we're on the news, it's because we're the witness. i saw the whole thing from the back counter. the gun firing, it was bobby, he's crazy. >> we got to take a break. we'll be right back. don't go away. for more laughs, visit comicsunleashed.com. closed captioning brough

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