who is this we've got now. >> you won't believe this. >> james: what is it. >> we named it after you, he was in a famous movie, she called it smithie. >> james: after a character in a show i did. >> exactly. >> james: a beaver. >> his name is smithie. >> james: is this a beaver, i have seen a few beavers. i never thought-- i never thought i would be face to face with yours. >> you never touched the beaver. isn't that cute. isn't that beautiful. >> james: jack, you have got a beautiful beaver. can i hold him or is it. >> it's her beaver. it's hers. >> james: no, jack, i know, i know, it's a different thing. >> it's beautiful, isn't it. >> james: that is. >> look at the tail, the beaver,

a lot of animals in the wild, when i film, around the country, they slap their tail and it warns everything around it, when the deer hears that happen, they take off and the beaver slaps the water, the funny thing is sometimes when they do poop in the water they take their tail and go like this. it is so funny. >> james: how cute. >> i just watched before i came because i heard there would be animals, i watched on youtube when animals go nuts on talk shows. there are a few of them. >> james: on that note, let's bring out the-- i think we're bringing out an african crown crane. >> yes, it is. >> james: oh my word. >> wow. >> james: look at this. >> east african. >> james: now what does this animal eat. >> cuz it's looking at me like it's going to kill me. >> the eyes are really intense. >> james: the eyes are very. >> i'm sorry.

>> i'm sorry. >> james: we just found the end of your youtube video, michael. there it is. >> go like this. >> james: no, i don't want to, you do it, i will watch you do it first. >> i don't know what it is, it looks like. >> actually we eat these sometimes. >> yeah, protein. >> see, he knows. >> our food source over the last hundred years-- go ahead, he can't hurt you, it feels good, you can feed him. >> james: no, i'm good, i'm all right. >> go like this and he will dance sometimes with you. >> what am i supposed to do. >> james: do what, will dance? >> watch, go like this, go like this. (laughter) >> act like a bird

>> help me dance real quick. (laughter) come on. >> james: yes! wow. the african crown crane. (laughter). >> james: right, let's get rid of this. >> that's some horn, isn't it? you got to see this, this is amazing. >> james: oh, i love frogs. wait, wait, let's get rid of the

bird first, jack, who is in here. whoa. [bleep]. >> hold it. >> james: oh, no, jack, [bleep] jack, jack. >> a pixie frog. feel it. feel it. >> james: oh, wow, that's amazing this. >> this is a pixie frog, only one of the frogs in the world. >> james: not every talk show is going to be like this, okay. >> i'm sorry. >> i don't like wet things. i'm-- you know. >> this is not wet. >> it's very wet. >> it's called a snot frog, it's like-- like this, it's slimy, and this thing can go in the ground up to one year because he soaks himself-- . >> james: underground. >> he makes the stuff, and it comes a bag and he goes in his bag and stays a year yownd underground, that is what they surround themselves with, a pixie frog. do you like frogs. >> no. >> james: all right, let's put the frog away.

>> okay. >> james: hear's the lid, you might want that. >> wait, wait, wait, they have warts so wipe your hands-off, real quick. don't worry. >> salmonella. >> you're right. >> james: touch it, go on, touch it, you have to touch it. they have warts, you have to wipe them off. >> oh yeah, these baby wipes will do it. literally-- oh my word who is coming out now. >> we've got some cats. >> hey. how do you feel about cats. >> these i like, yeah. >> i will let you stay here. this is called a jofry cat from south america, they live in brazil in the jungles, this animal is about six months old. these animals are in quite numbers, not like some cats that have issues, in hunting for pelts. they try to stop that. the animal gets about 15 pound, not a big cat, called a jofry cat, when you go to brazil, that part of the world, with jungles,

it is difficult to find these cats, everybody, because these are nocturnal. if you look behind the ears there, i will show to the camera, you will see those spots, called eye spots, the cerval cat gets this big, at african lion can eat the cerval cat, but they will see the eye spots and will back off and leave, the eye spots save these animals from other creatures, some birds have them,. >> james: they are absolutely beautiful. thank you so much for bringing them by. ladies and gentlemen, "jungle" jack hanna, ana de armas and michael fassbender. come on back, everybody. (applause)

♪ i'm joy bauer, and as a nutritionist i know probiotics can often help. try digestive advantage. it is tougher than your stomach's harsh environment, so it surivies a hundred times better than the leading probiotic. get the digestive advantage. with flavors you'll love.re like new savory grilled mediterranean shrimp. and new sweet and spicy nashville hot shrimp. plus our classics like garlic shrimp scampi. try as much as you want however you want 'em, but don't wait, it ends soon.

oh, it's actually...s your sfx: (short balloon squeal) it's ver... sfx: (balloon squeals) ok can we... sfx: (balloon squeals) i'm being so serious right now... i really want to know how your coffee is. it's... sfx: (balloon squeals) hahahaha, i had a 2nd balloon goodbye! oof, that milk in your coffee was messing with you, wasn't it? yeah. happens to more people than you think. try lactaid, it's real milk, without that annoying lactose. mmm. good right? yeah. lactaid. it's the milk that doesn't mess with you. fred would do anything for "get in, fred!" even if it means being the back half of a unicorn. fear not fred, the front half washed his shirt with gain. and that smell, puts the giddy in "giddy-up"! ah...the irresistible scent of gain flings! laundry detergent.

you can't help but smell happy. ♪ ♪ . >> james: thanks so much for watching, see you next week week, reggie, take us home. (cheers and applause). captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

like paperless, multi-car, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. any questions? -yeah. -how do you go to the bathroom? great. any insurance-related questions? -mm-hmm. -do you have a girlfriend? uh, i'm actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly $600 when they switch, so... where's your belly button? [ sighs ] i've got to start booking better gigs. it's comics unleashed with your host. tonight byron welcomes adams, mark maris. george wallace. and charles green. and now, a man who puts the

mocha in mocha chocolate latte, byron allen. >> yeah.g;%l dancing >> what's up? >> all right. >> all right. we have some very funny people here this evening. say hello to

mark marin. george 1 and tom green. oh. >> we're unleashed. >> you're unleashed. >> the comics are unleashed right now. >> unleashed. >> like we're wild animals. >> what's this, i hear you're afraid to leave your house. >> an gore phobic a little bit. bad year. i've been injured. when you get injured you don't leave the house. i broke a couple of ribs a few months ago, i was nearly killed. >> is that right? >> nearly killed by a wave of water. and then i broke my ankle and i haven't left the house in months. now i'm here. when you stay inside for a long period of time, you feel fear when you leave the house. right now looking at you, i'm afraid. it's not because of anything that you're doing or anything, i just look at you and think it's 1978, i'm 7 years old watching

"real people," you know? and you're exactly the same age, you know? like you're a robot or some sort of like a clone of some type. how is that possible? you know what i mean? that you look exactly the same age. everyone else on "real people" is dead, right? all the other hosts are all dead, right? >> i'm not sure. >> skitch helped are son, dead. dead. >> how you doing? >> i was 7 years old too back in 178. >> george, you crazy, man. >> i been crazy all my life. it's good to be crazy. you're not crazy out here in hollywood. >> that's right. everybody in this audience is crazy. if you come to california, you're crazy. that's the bottom line. >> what do you think about these kids today. >> i grew up in a different era. when we were kids, if we were bad, the parents would tell you the boogeymen is going to get you. these kids today, you tell them

the bogeyman, these kids go, i'll bust the boogeyman's ass. 14-year-old boys having sex with the school teacher? what's up with that? and pretty teachers too, pretty teachers, too. what happened to us? i wouldn't have told nobody. >> i never got hit on. no. no. >> well, look at you. >> i grew up in boston. i didn't even get hit on by a priest. i think if you went back to boston wearing that hat, you'd have a little more lucknow. >> but you're talking about the new kids today. actually, i don't understand the young kids today. most of these young kids and you can talk back to your parents. we couldn't talk back to our parents, could we? my parents used to drive us down to the cemetery. she said junior, this is your plot right here. you can use it now or later but you're not going to be talking

back to me up in here. >> that's right. that's right. >> unbelievable. >> you know, time-out. time-out was a smack up side of your head. >> you know what my mama would do? whip your ass and she would take time-out, come back and hit some more. uh-huh. >> time-out was a break for her. >> that's exactly right. >> and you just got married? >> i got married a little while ago. and it's been brought to my attention by my wife, this is a new thing. she says i have an anger problem. but she didn't put it that way. she said i'm leaving. if you don't deal with your anger problem, right? soapy did what everybody does. you got a problem, i went to the bookstore and bought a book on anger management. o cf1 o that now i have that book. >> once you realize -- >> i just keep bringing it up, byron, because i honestly don't understand. i honestly don't understand how

it's possible. mike douglas, dead. okay? steve allan, dead. >> okay. >> 1978 was real people, right? george slater, right? i was born in '71. >> okay. >> 7 years old. i remember watching that. 7 years old watching that. i wanted to do that some day. i want to do that some day. you're out on the streets doing people on streets. you know, this is why we're here right now because of that. >> knock the hell out of him. how is it possible that you don't look a day older? >> i am dick clark's son. >> i lost my hair. we'll be right back.in;< for more laughs if you battle chronic back pain? for more laughs turn it off, with icy hot® smart relief.

only smart relief is indicated to relieve chronic pain among leading brands. turn off pain. smart relief. albreakthrough withyou back. non-drowsy allegra® for fast 5-in-1 multi-symptom relief. breakthrough allergies with allegra®. brushing teeth - easy! new act kids toothpaste strengthens and protects developing teeth, and helps prevent cavities. new act kids toothpaste. halloween break! which house do you want to go to first? the kat lady!! (bell rings) trick or treat! it's go time kitty cats! (cats meowing) have a break, have a kit kat! ♪ it's a good, good, good ♪ time to be alive. ♪ oh yeah. pizza with pepsi.

delicious. ahhh. ialmost everything. you know, ke 1 i n 10 houses could get hit by an expensive septic disaster. but for only $7 a month, rid-x helps break down waste. avoid a septic disaster with rid-x. i just saved a bunch of money on my car insurhuh. with geico. i should take a closer look at geico... geico can help with way more than car insurance. boats, homes, motorcycles... even umbrella coverage. this guy's gonna wish he brought his umbrella. fire at will! how'd you know the guy's name is will? yeah? it's an expression, ya know? fire at will? you never heard of that? oh, there goes will! bye, will! that's not his name! take a closer look at geico. great savings. and a whole lot more.

all right. welcome back. george, you're from the south, right. >> of course i'm from the south. everybody's from the south. growing up in the south some stupid habits. like we have a front door and can't use it. you know what i'm talking about, somebody knock on the door. go around to the back. stupid stuff we did down south. had a set of towels in the

bathroom. did you grow up like that? we couldn't even touch them. we had to wipe our hands on the wall. my mama was crazy. >> was she. >> your mama is not crazy? my mama says you're getting on my last nev. i'm thinking why didn't you say something five, six nerves ago. i'm at the end of my rope. well, let go. the last time i'm going to tell you to take that garbage out. well, thank god. i hope she's not watching because she will still whoop my ass. yeah. she would whoop me with those questions. >> i'd love to see that on tv. your mom whooping your ass. >> that's pay per view. mama could whip your ass, too. >> i'd love to do that show. george's mama whips both our asses. >> starting to feel like jerry springer around here.

>> why are these guys allowed to cover their hair, byron. >> i don't know. i'll be honest. i got this hair. i got the most hair out of all of you. i only do this once a year. i grew my beard out over the christmas holidays because over christmas i like to go to malls dressed as jesus. i'll walk through the mall just saying no, no, it wasn't supposed to be about this, people. and if there's a santa at that mall, i'll walk right up to that santa and say listen, fatman, you're just a clown at my birthday party. >> when you were in new orleans? >> my family got wiped out down there and i went down to see them. i let them stay in my house because i'm working in vegas every night. it's been over a year now. and my house finding my dirty magazines and i love them. they finding everything but a job, god bless them. >> get your ass out of my house.

i was down there, i was in china. i recently come back from china. anybody been to china? >> no, i haven't been to china. >> it was wonderful. i talk to people going to be laughing at me because i'm a big tall black man. it's pretty cool. every now and then a woman would come up and say, sex okay, sex okay? the people didn't watch me. going in a department store like they do in beverly hills. they didn't watch me. since they didn't, you know, i -- and you know, what's good about china, you know, i be thinking all the time. you can buy your souvenirs when you get home. >> do you have a sweet tooth? >> i bought halloween candy this year and then i didn't answer the door. do they have support groups for people like that? i go to the gym. you know why it doesn't work for me. >> whole i'm i'm there i'm thinking what i'm going to eat when i get home.

>> today i spent the entire day almost going to the gym. i was going to go. you get into the mode where you look at your watch, i've only got four hours. i don't think i'm going to make it today. >> the food and drug administration should create a force of fat marshals that are on planes. if there's a terrorist thing, they'll jump into action. they should station fat marshals as the like fast food places. if they see a 300 pound person about to digging into sundae, jump into action and go to the table, are we really doing that? are you about to do that in if the guy goes yeah, i'm about to eat this. i'm a fat marshal and i'm legally obliged to knock the fork out of your mouth. it would be a great service to the country. >> we love to eat in this country. i think the next war will be for cooking oil. we should invade the canola country. who is making that? let's go. >> cooking oil. >> they are.

look how fat these kids are getting. i mean if you're years old and a boy, you shouldn't be a c cup. that's all i'm saying. fat lazy little kid. the nap sacks have wheels? your flight attendant wheeling their stuff around. we're going to take a break. we'll be right back. don't ready to of your back pain? wentnjí=% icyhot lidocaine patch & cream. desensitizes aggravated nerves with the max strength lidocaine available. icyhot lidocaine patch & cream. >>

all right. welcome back to comics unleashed. what's the story? do you have identity theft. >> no, here's what i'm afraid of. the government can tap your phones, look at your computers and it's okay. they don't need a warrant. i can't stand people who say hey buddy, you got nothing to hide you got nothing to worry about. i got nothing to hide but i've got a few things i'm ashamed of. i'd rather be ought with a bomb. i could explain that. i'm going to blow that up. if they downloaded the stuff on my hard drive, i would have to say i didn't know it was a guy

at first. >> i want -- it would be fun to go out in the audience like jerry springer, did you ever do that on the show? >> i was looking at, take his crutches away. >> i was looking at them. you guys travel all around the world doing standup comedy. you've been in front of thousands of audiences over the years. is this even a good audience though or -- right. >> all right. >> do we have insurance for that? >> do you guys think it is a good audience? >> it's a great audience. >> what you going >> where are you guys -- where

do you guys get this audience? where do you get these people? >> from the streets. >> i don't know. >> all right. >> getting too lazy as americans. >> yeah, we are. everybody's so -- one friend won't even leave me a message. he goes you saw my name on caller id. why didn't you call me back. i saw your name. that's why i didn't pick it up. i go to the gym. i get distracted because women with these little outfits, how much more attention do they need. skimpy little outfits writing stuff on the tops like sexy or porn star or juicy. what the hell does that mean? am i excited or disgusted? your ass is juicy? i'm confused. then they catch you looking like they're upset you're like, what

are you looking at? you're like i like the font on your ass. what is that roman over there? what is that? >> sorry to interrupt. i want to show everybody this is the future now. you get these casts when you break your leg. then you get a removable one after four weeks that you can take off like a ski boot. no big deal. i thought i'd air it out a little bit. you can see the surgery there that i had. >> how did you hurt yourself? >> i fell off my skate board. yeah, i was jumping over an v-w. >> tom i understand you have a pet peeve about people and their pet names. >> yeah, how -- everyone's got the same. like pumpkin. everyone's calling everyone pumpkin. she's got a boyfriend, calls her pumpkin and everyone's calling everyone -- it's not even like a good-looking fruit. it's like -- it's disgusting. it's fat